Page 1

Rhetorical Analysis of Stephanie Busari’s TED Talk

“In my job as a journalist, I check, I verify.” Stephanie Busari is from Nigeria and is a

journalist and editor at CNN International Digital. Busari’s speech was a TED talk. TED stands

for Technology, Entertainment and Design which is a nonprofit out of Silicon Valley, “devoted

to spreading ideas, usually in the form of short, powerful talks allowing the audience to gain

knowledge.” (ted.com) In her 2017 TED talk speech, “How fake news does real harm," she

explains how fake news is harmful. In her speech she tells of an incident in 2014 at a boarding

school in Nigeria when a terrorist organization kidnapped 200 or more schoolgirls. After the

kidnapping by Boko Haram terrorists she discusses the consequences of the spreading of fake

news and how it affected the Chibok girls. Busari’s audience are the ones who are listening to the

speech which was held at TEDLagos Ideas Search, as well as the larger audience of the internet.

Busari urges the audience to ask questions and dig deeper into issues, and if we do not the

consequences may be deeply serious. Busari successfully uses each strategy applied rhertoic:

ethos (credibility), logos (logic), and pathos (emotions) in her speech. Busari effectively

persuades her audience with emotions, statistics and facts to prove how harmful fake news is and

convey the importance of her message.

Busari is a journalist who verifies the facts and the information she gives to her audience

allows them to trust and respect her by applying the appeal of ethos. In her journalistic sources

she shows credibility and experience. As a journalist, Nigerian, woman and parent Busari’s

credibility is strong. At the beginning of her speech Busari tells us that she was attending the

World Economic Forum in Abuja, Nigeria when she heard of the kidnapping case of the girls.

Nigerian officials told her and her team that the story of the girls was not real. Stephanie worked

very hard to find evidence of the girls’ abduction. She found a video that proved the Chibok girls
 Page 2

were taken. Busari states, “Everyone presumed they were dead. But in April last year, I was able

to obtain this video. This is a still from the video that Boko Haram filmed as proof of life, and

through a source”(Busari, 2:36). She shows her credibility by including the video she obtained

from her own sources that brings attention to the issue she wants to address. Also, she found the

girls’ parents in southeast Nigeria and confirmed that the girls were missing, so the audience can

believe and trust her. Till the present day, Busari says: “Sadly, this hoax narrative has persisted,

and there are still people in Nigeria today who believe that the Chibok girls were never

kidnapped” (Busari, 1:50). This reaffirms her point of how “fake news” and a “hoax” can have a

dangerous and lasting impact. Busari asks the audience,“Research shows that some of us don't

even read beyond headlines before we share stories. Who here has done that? I know I

have”(Busari, 5:33). Her question allows the audience to think about what and how they view

news stories, and by including herself, she gives the audience an opportunity to improve their

ability to ask questions and not believe everything they read and hear.

Furthermore, Stephanie Busari’s experience and appearance shows the audience she is

trustworthy by implementing the rhetorical appeal of ethos. She is an editer at CNN International

Digital which informs the audience of her credentials and experience. CNN has earned great

credibility in the last few decades. CNN was established in 1980, 40 years ago. CNN has 90.1

million television households as subscribers (97.7% of households with cable) in the United

States (history.com). Busari is also Nigerian and as she mentions in her speech, a parent. For her

talk, Stephaine Busari wears casual but appropriate clothing. She wears a striped blue and black

blouse with jeans and a red necklace. Her blouse and necklace represent her Nigerian culture and

heritage. Her clothing tells more about her and sends the message to the audience that she is

talking from personal experience and that this issue has personal meaning to her. In her speech,
 Page 3

she urges the audience to do more. Also, she wants to inform the audience how fake news can be

difficult to know if it is real or not. She asks the audience, “...what if we stopped taking

information that we discover at face value? What if we stop to think about the consequence of

the information that we pass on and its potential to incite violence or hatred?” (Busari, 5:38).

Throughout she urges us to examine our values and behaviors and the impact they have. Busari’s

qualifications help the audience believe her by using ethos. She encourages people not to trust

unreliable sources Overall, Busari’s speech shows a lot of ethos which raises the audience's

awareness about the news which does not always stick with the real facts.

Busari proves to her audience that she has knowledge about what she is talking about

because she provides evidence with the appeal of logos. In her speech she uses logic and

rationale. During the course of her speech she demonstrates the false information in fake news.

Logos is an appeal to the audience's logic and rationality. The use of logos was one of her

powerful points. Stephanie Busari's speech begins with a story about a young girl named Hadiza.

She addresses the issue of the kidnapping and Hadiza’s injury. In the first couple of seconds in

her speech she tells us the date of kidnapping by Boko Haram terrorists. “On April 14, 2014, she

was kidnapped by Boko Haram terrorists.” Furthermore, she tells us statistics of the girls who

were kidnapped. Busari says, “She was one of 57 girls who could escape by jumping off the

truck that day.”(Busari, 0.:33) She uses logic by connecting the audience with a logical message

that one of those girls can be one of anyone's daughters. The audience sees in the background of

the stage there is an image of a school bus marked CMS - OSHODI. The school bus represents

how education is important for those Chibok girls. Busari uses logic here by giving the audience

a logical message that their daughters can be one of those 57 school girls attacked by the Boko

Haram terrorists. As Busari was investigating the girls’ kidnapping and asking questions, she
 Page 4

obtained facts. “I was able to obtain this video. I had to travel to the northeast of Nigeria to talk

to the parents, and to verify it. I didn't have to wait too long for confirmation” (Busari, 2:36). As

she is a journalist her job is to uncover real sources. Busari said, “In my job as a journalist, I

check, I verify. Why is this person telling me this story? What do they have to gain by sharing

this information? I really believe that we must all start to ask together questions of information

that we discover online” (Busari, 5:09). She provides evidence of how her sources are real and

not like fake news which do not provide accurate sources. “Devastated parents who told us on

the day Boko Haram kidnapped their daughters, they ran into the Sambisa forest after the trucks

carrying their daughter” (Busari, 1:50). She revealed the facts that the story was in fact real

because she talked to the devastated parents who saw Boko Haram run to kidnap the girls.

In Busari’s speech appeals to logos by providing reasonable information. In her speech

Busari shows the audience a picture of one of the girls which is proof to the devastated parents

who saw the video of their daughters. The video of the Chibok girl proves that the girls were

kidnaped. The release of the video started negotiations with Boko Haram and it was used as

proof that the girls were alive. “A Nigerian senator told me that because of this video they

entered into those talks, because they had long presumed that the Chibok girls were dead.

Twenty-one girls were freed in October last year. Sadly, nearly 200 of them still remain missing”

(Busari, 3:34). Busari provides more proof that the girls were alive and gives the audience more

statistics. Logic tells us the story that fake news delayed and lost the chance to rescue many of

the kidnapped girls. Busari states, “ If these were daughters of the rich and powerful, they would

have been found much earlier”(Busari, 4:00). The Chibok girls were not rich, but if they were

rich all the girls would have been freed sooner and back at home. It makes sense because many

kidnappers would release victims for money and the government would be forced to get
 Page 5

involved. Ever since the girls were kidnapped, everyone was talking about it. Some people

believe it was a hoax because of the news and others believe the girls were kidnapped. “This

story, quite rightly, caused ripples around the world. “People like Michelle Obama, Malala and

others let their voices in protest “(Busari, 1:07). Famous people protested to help to make

changes for the girls, also for their voice to be heard and free the girls from Boko Haram. After

all, Busari’s appeal to logic and reasoning which she provides in the speech proves her sources

are real.

Busari speech communicates with emotion which appeals to pathos. She expresses

feelings to both appeal and persuade. Also, she uses empathy for the girls. She responded to her

emotions toward the kidnapping by action and the audience is affected and responds emotionally

as well. In Stephanie Busari’s speech she uses many emotions to show how fake news can harm

the Chibok girls. She uses pathos effectively. She is trying to create an environment in which she

can connect with people. In the beginning of the video Busari states, “I want to tell you a story

about a girl. But I can’t tell you her real name. So let’s just call her Hadiza” (Busari, 0:09).

Replacing the girl’s real name with Hadiza protects her identity and shows Busari’s empathy.

During her speech Busari says, “for those of you who are parents like myself, you can only

imagine the anguish that mother felt” (Busari, 2:36). She uses emotions so people can

understand how it would feel to lose a child of their own as parents. As she was giving the

speech she uses a soft tone and pauses often so people could reflect on what she means. Then in

her speech she explains her frustration twice about the kidnapping. “I am furious when I think

about the waste of opportunities to rescue the girls. I am furious when I think about what the

parents have told me” (Busari, 4:00). She expresses her emotions that she does not feel good

about the kidnapping. Furthermore, she shows photos of the parents crying for the audience to
 Page 6

connect emotionally. As the kidnapping was in the news, everyone was talking about it including

leading public figures. She shows pictures of Michelle Obama, Malala and others with a

transcript of a slogan saying, “Bring back our girls.” It is an emotional appeal because it shows

caring and understanding about the girls.

In conclusion, Busari’s TED talk “How fake news does real harm” was clear and

educational of how dangerous fake news can be. Busari’s speech uses many rhetorical devices

such as ethos, logos, and pathos. Her speech is effective and successful in moving the audience

to action. As I watched the video, it made me realize how her video can expand and make

changes for people to be aware of fake news and how fake news can be reduced. I take personal

responsibility by believing everything the news has to say. Fake news can stop if we decrease it

and not harm people with unreal information. Today fake news is still spreading, but it is getting

less with the help of journalists, and we, the citizens of the world, should believe journalists who

verify sources. We should be responsible for what we share and sometimes we do not know the

consequences we might face when sharing news stories. In this case the government was saying

it was a hoax and Busari says the government was responsible. We are responsible for sharing

fake news. I can offer help with reducing fake news by not believing news from unreliable

sources.
 Page 7

Works Cited

Busari, Stephanie. “How fake news does real harm.” TED Talk, TEDLagos Ideas Search,

February 2017. Web.

https://www.ted.com/talks/stephanie_busari_how_fake_news_does_real_harm

History.com. “CNN Launches.” A&E Television Networks. June 2, 2020. Web.

https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/cnn-launches

Ted.com. “Our Organization.” TED Conferences. Web.

https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization
 Page 8

Your Assignment and Concerns:

I see your assignment is to write a rhetorical analysis of a Ted Talk about fake news. I am
familiar with this assignment and will look to see if you have completed it appropriately. In
terms of the writing process, you are still concerned about the introduction, body and conclusion.
Strengths of the Paper:
Your introduction and thesis are good and your coverage of the topic thorough. In addition, you
use numerous examples to support your assertions. Nice work.

Suggestions for Improvement:

Although the overall organization is quite good, there are still a few issues with your paragraph
development. Part of the problem is that you confuse some of the devices, using examples that
do not appropriately apply. I have pointed out where this is so and have suggested moving the
examples elsewhere. Also, there is still quite a bit of repetition that could be eliminated. Finally,
keep in mind that a paragraph should average about 10 lines, because more than that and the
reader can lose track of the idea. When it doubt, it is usually better to start a new paragraph.

This leads to the need for good topic and transitional sentences. As you move from section to
section, you want to tie the main ideas together with transitional expressions. These emphasize
the connections between your points and improve the flow of the ideas
They can be simple words that link the ideas within a paragraph, or they can connect one
paragraph to the next. Different transition words serve different purposes. For example, words
like meanwhile, next, finally show time sequence. Words such as: both, like, and similar, show
comparison/contrast. Words such as first, second and last help to show order; while others such
as consequently and as a result show cause and effect. In short, transition words help us to show
the direction of our thoughts

You can transition between paragraphs by mentioning something from the previous paragraph
in the first sentence of the next. "Flowers are an important part of the ecosystem because they
provide food for other creatures. Some flowers provide nectar for insects. Bees, butterflies and
some beetles are all dependent on nectar production. Hummingbirds also drink flower nectar,
and many herbivores eat the flowering plants themselves.

Next paragraph:
In addition to providing food, flowers provide environmental decoration. The more colorful the
flower, the prettier the land it inhabits............................."
 Page 9

Finally, the sentences in each paragraph need to be arranged in some logical order that makes
sense. Some of your paragraphs ramble and the sentences do not connect logically. As you
revise, try to model your paragraphs as follows:

1. Topic sentence: This explains the focus of the paragraph.

2. Discussion: Explain the topic sentence. What does this mean?
3. Example: This can be where a quote is embedded.
4. Analysis: What does this example show? Add your voice and analysis.
5. Concluding Sentence: Summarize how the content explains the topic.

Awkward Sentences
As I mention above, the content of the paper covers the important points quite thoroughly.
However, as I note throughout your paper, some of your ideas would be more effective if your
sentences were a little clearer. There are a number of issues that cause sentences to be unclear.
For example, sometimes you may use too many words, misplace your phrases, or do not
punctuate the sentence correctly. After you review the examples below, reread your paper and try
to improve clarity by adding commas, eliminating unnecessary words, and breaking the thoughts
into smaller units.

Let’s look at some examples from your paper:

Busari is a journalist who verifies the facts and the information she gives to her audience allows
them to trust and respect her by applying the appeal of ethos.
Revised:
Busari appeals to ethos because she verifies the facts, and thus the information she gives to her
audience allows them to trust and respect her

She responded to her emotions toward the kidnapping by action and the audience is affected and
responds emotionally as well.
Revised:
Her emotional response to the kidnapping is action, and the audience is affected and responds
emotionally as well.

Also, as you read your paper for errors, please note many that have been pointed out appear
elsewhere, as this often is the case; and tutors generally do not point out an error every time it
occurs. I recommend reading drafts aloud because often people can hear mistakes that they do

At this point, please review the comments I have embedded in your essay. Then, refer to
the “Next Steps” for some helpful links pertinent to my comments.
 Page 10

Rhetorical Analysis of Stephanie Busari’s TED Talk

“In my job as a journalist, I check, I verify.” ( Can you connect these two sentences with some

sort of transitional phrase?) Stephanie Busari is from Nigeria and is a journalist and editor at

CNN International Digital. Busari’s speech was a TED talk. TED stands for Technology,

Entertainment and Design which is a nonprofit out of Silicon Valley, “devoted to spreading

ideas, usually in the form of short, powerful talks allowing the audience to gain knowledge.”

(ted.com) In her 2017 TED talk speech, “How fake news does real harm," she explains how fake

news is harmful. In her speech she tells of an incident in 2014 at a boarding school in Nigeria

when a terrorist organization kidnapped 200 or more schoolgirls. After the kidnapping by Boko

Haram terrorists she discusses the consequences of the spreading of fake news and how it

affected the Chibok girls. Busari’s audience are the ones who are listening to the speech which

was held at TEDLagos Ideas Search, as well as the larger audience of the internet. Busari urges

the audience to ask questions and dig deeper into issues, and if we do not the consequences may

be deeply serious. Busari successfully uses each strategy applied rhertoic: ethos (credibility),

logos (logic), and pathos (emotions) in her speech. Busari effectively persuades her audience

with emotions, statistics and facts to prove how harmful fake news is and convey the importance

of her message. (The introduction sets the context nicely and the thesis is expresses the

purpose and theme quite well.)

(Transitional expression.) Busari is a journalist who verifies the facts and the information she

gives to her audience allows them to trust and respect her by applying the appeal of ethos.

(Although this sentence states the main idea, the construction is a little awkward. Please see

my suggestions on sentence construction.) In her journalistic sources she shows credibility and

experience. As a journalist, Nigerian, woman and parent Busari’s credibility is strong. At the
 Page 11

beginning of her speech Busari tells us that she was attending the World Economic Forum in

Abuja, Nigeria when she heard of the kidnapping case of the girls. Nigerian officials told her and

her team that the story of the girls was not real. Stephanie worked very hard to find evidence of

the girls’ abduction. She found a video that proved the Chibok girls were taken. Busari states,

“Everyone presumed they were dead. But in April last year, I was able to obtain this video. This

is a still from the video that Boko Haram filmed as proof of life, and through a source”(Busari,

2:36). (Transitional word.) She shows her credibility by including the video she obtained from

her own sources that brings attention to the issue she wants to address. Also, she found the girls’

parents in southeast Nigeria and confirmed that the girls were missing, so the audience can

believe and trust her. ( Beginning here, you are actually talking more about logos and how

she convinces the audience about fake news rather than her own credibility.) Till the present

day, Busari says: “Sadly, this hoax narrative has persisted, and there are still people in Nigeria

today who believe that the Chibok girls were never kidnapped” (Busari, 1:50). This reaffirms her

point of how “fake news” and a “hoax” can have a dangerous and lasting impact. Busari asks the

audience,“Research shows that some of us don't even read beyond headlines before we share

stories. Who here has done that? I know I have”(Busari, 5:33). Her question allows the audience

to think about what and how they view news stories, and by including herself, she gives the

audience an opportunity to improve their ability to ask questions and not believe everything they

read and hear.

Furthermore, ( Good transitional expression.)Stephanie Busari’s experience and appearance

shows the audience she is This is more realted ( spellcheck) to by implementing the rhetorical

appeal of ethos. She is an editer at CNN International Digital which informs the audience of her

credentials and experience. CNN has earned great credibility in the last few decades. CNN was
 Page 12

established in 1980, 40 years ago. CNN has 90.1 million television households as subscribers

(97.7% of households with cable) in the United States (history.com). Busari is also Nigerian and

as she mentions in her speech, a parent. ( This is repetitive.) ( Here you should transition to a

new paragraph since it is a new idea. You might begin by moving to the next device, which

is pathos because her casual dress helps the audience relate to her. Also, this helps her

convince them to believe her.) For her speech, Stephaine Busari wears casual but appropriate

clothing. She wears a striped blue and black blouse with jeans and a red necklace. Her blouse

and necklace represent her Nigerian culture and heritage. Her clothing tells more about her and

sends the message to the audience that she is talking from personal experience and that this issue

has personal meaning to her. In her speech she urges the audience to do more. Also, she wants to

inform the audience how fake news can be difficult to know if it is real or not. She asks the

audience, “...what if we stopped taking information that we discover at face value? What if we

stop to think about the consequence of the information that we pass on and its potential to incite

violence or hatred?” (Busari, 5:38). Throughout she urges us to examine our values and

behaviors and the impact they have. Busari’s qualifications help the audience believe her by

using ethos. She encourages people not to believe unreliable sources Overall, Busari’s speech

shows a lot of ethos which catches the audience's attention about the news which does not always

stick with the real facts. ( You could use this at the end of the last paragraph.)

( Transition.) Busari proves to her audience the fact that she has knowledge about what she was

talking about because she provides evidence with the appeal of logos. In her speech she uses

logic and rationale. (Place the example after this statement.) During the course of her speech

she proves the false information in fake news. Logos is an appeal to the audience's logic and

rationality. (This explains the topic sentence so should be the second sentence.) The use of
 Page 13

logos was one of her powerful points. Stephanie Busari's speech begins with a story about a

young girl named Hadiza. She addresses the issue of the kidnapping and Hadiza’s injury. In the

first couple of seconds in her speech she tells us the date of kidnapping by Boko Haram

terrorists. “On April 14, 2014, she was kidnapped by Boko Haram terrorists.” Furthermore, she

tells us statistics of the girls who were kidnapped. Busari says, “She was one of 57 girls who

could escape by jumping off the truck that day.”(Busari, 0.:33) She uses logic by connecting the

audience with a logical message that one of those girls can be one of anyone's daughters. (This

appeals to pathos, so you might save this example for when you discuss that.) The audience

sees in the background of the stage there is an image of a school bus marked CMS - OSHODI.

The school bus represents how education is important for those Chibok girls. Busari uses logic

here by giving the audience a logical message that their daughters can be one of those 57 school

girls attacked by the Boko Haram terrorists.( This may be pathos also.) As Busari was

investigating the girls’ kidnapping and asking questions, she obtained facts. “I was able to obtain

this video. I had to travel to the northeast of Nigeria to talk to the parents, and to verify it. I didn't

have to wait too long for confirmation” (Busari, 2:36). As she is a journalist her job is to uncover

real sources. Busari said, “In my job as a journalist, I check, I verify. ( This is repetitive also.)

Why is this person telling me this story? What do they have to gain by sharing this information?

I really believe that we must all start to ask together questions of information that we discover

online” (Busari, 5:09). She provides evidence of how her sources are real and not like fake news

which do not provide accurate sources. “Devastated parents who told us on the day Boko Haram

kidnapped their daughters, they ran into the Sambisa forest after the trucks carrying their

daughter” (Busari, 1:50). She revealed the facts that the story was in fact real because she talked

to the devastated parents who saw Boko Haram run to kidnap the girls.
 Page 14

In Busari’s speech appeals to logos by providing reasonable information. In her speech Busari

shows the audience a picture of one of the girls which is proof to the devastated parents who saw

the video of their daughters. The video of the Chibok girl proves that the girls were kidnaped.

The release of the video started negotiations with Boko Haram and it was used as proof that the

girls were alive. “A Nigerian senator told me that because of this video they entered into those

talks, because they had long presumed that the Chibok girls were dead. ( New paragraph?)

Twenty-one girls were freed in October last year. Sadly, nearly 200 of them still remain missing”

(Busari, 3:34). Busari provides more proof that the girls were alive and gives the audience more

statistics. Logic tells us the story that fake news delayed and lost the chance to rescue many of

the kidnapped girls. Busari states, “ If these were daughters of the rich and powerful, they would

have been found much earlier”(Busari, 4:00). The Chibok girls were not rich, but if they were

rich all the girls would have been freed sooner and back at home. It makes sense because many

kidnappers would release victims for money and the government would be forced to get

involved. Ever since the girls were kidnapped, everyone was talking about it. Some people

believe it was a hoax because of the news and others believe the girls were kidnapped. “This

story, quite rightly, caused ripples around the world. “People like Michelle Obama, Malala and

others let their voices in protest “(Busari, 1:07). Famous people protested to help to make

changes for the girls, also for their voice to be heard and free the girls from Boko Haram. After

all, Busari’s appeal to logic and reasoning which she provides in the speech proves her sources

are real.

Busari speech communicates with emotion which appeals to pathos. She expresses feelings to

both appeal and persuade. Also, she uses empathy for the girls. She responded to her emotions

toward the kidnapping by action and the audience is affected and responds emotionally as well.
 Page 15

In Stephanie Busari’s speech she uses many emotions to show how fake news can harm the

Chibok girls. She uses pathos effectively. (All of this is true and important, but needs to be

interspersed with examples. You could simply keep the topic sentence and then present the

rest of the paragraph as it begins here. then, it is more concrete and less repetitive.) She is

trying to create an environment in which she can connect with people. In the beginning of the

video Busari states, “I want to tell you a story about a girl. But I can’t tell you her real name. So

let’s just call her Hadiza” (Busari, 0:09). Replacing the girl’s real name with Hadiza protects her

identity and shows Busari’s empathy. During her speech Busari says, “for those of you who are

parents like myself, you can only imagine the anguish that mother felt” (Busari, 2:36). She uses

emotions so people can understand how it would feel to lose a child of their own as parents. As

she was giving the speech she uses a soft tone and pauses often so people could reflect on what

she means. Then in her speech she explains her frustration twice about the kidnapping. “I am

furious when I think about the waste of opportunities to rescue the girls. I am furious when I

think about what the parents have told me” (Busari, 4:00). She expresses her emotions that she

does not feel good about the kidnapping. Furthermore, she shows photos of the parents crying for

the audience to connect emotionally. As the kidnapping was in the news, everyone was talking

about it including leading public figures. She shows pictures of Michelle Obama, Malala and

others with a transcript of a slogan saying, “Bring back our girls.” It is an emotional appeal

because it shows caring and understanding about the girls.

In conclusion, Busari’s TED talk “How fake news does real harm” was clear and educational of

how dangerous fake news can be. Busari’s speech uses many rhetorical devices such as ethos,

logos, and pathos. Her speech is effective and successful in moving the audience to action. As I

watched the video, it made me realize how her video can expand and make changes for people to
 Page 16

be aware of fake news and how fake news can be reduced. I take personal responsibility by

believing everything the news has to say. Fake news can stop if we decrease it and not harm

people with unreal information. Today fake news is still spreading, but it is getting less with the

help of journalists, and we, the citizens of the world, should believe journalists who verify

sources. We should be responsible for what we share and sometimes we do not know the

consequences we might face when sharing news stories. In this case the government was saying

it was a hoax and Busari says the government was responsible. We are responsible for sharing

fake news. I can offer help with reducing fake news by not believing news from unreliable

sources. Works Cited

Busari, Stephanie. “How fake news does real harm.” TED Talk, TEDLagos Ideas Search,

February 2017. Web.

https://www.ted.com/talks/stephanie_busari_how_fake_news_does_real_harm

History.com. “CNN Launches.” A&E Television Networks. June 2, 2020. Web.

https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/cnn-launches

Ted.com. “Our Organization.” TED Conferences. Web.

https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization

Next Steps:
Now that you have reviewed my comments,

1. Make sure examples apply to the appropriate rhetorical device.

2. Separate paragraphs into smaller units.
3. Use transitional expressions to connect ideas.
4. Eliminate repetition.
5. Revise sentences to combine ideas and clarify thought.
 Page 17

A few links that will help you write more focused paragraphs.
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/606/1
http://www.indiana.edu/~wt/pamphlets/paragraphs.shtml

For more help with transitions see the link below.

http://www.virtualsalt.com/transits.htm

A link to help you with sentence structure, please see the following link.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/runons.htm
http://web.uvic.ca/wguide/Pages/SentComSplice.html