Multimodal Artifact Peer Review from Group 3 to Group 2

Rhetorical Awareness ​– Developing

● You may want to give some context for the cause of environmental injustice. For example, is it a result
of long-repealed racist practices such as Jim Crow Laws or redlining, or is it the result of something
going on today?
● Who specifically are you targeting the website at? From the map and the website title, it is clear that the
content is about Atlanta and visitors will probably be from Atlanta, but that still does seem a bit broad.
The specific audience is pretty important, as the way the information is presented will be different.
Academics would be ok with longer paragraphs, but casual readers will probably prefer bullet points,
and making this clear would help with framing the rest of the website.
Stance ​– Developing
● I think the so-what part is a little bit weak. Instead of just listing companies that help fight
environmental racism, explain what fighting against environmental racism looks like.
● One argument about why environmental racism exists is that ​somebody has to live next to incinerators,
power plants, pollution centers, etc. Is there any fair way to ensure that minorities aren’t
disproportionately impacted by this?
● The call to action is pretty weak. There needs to be a point where the argument is summarized and the
visitor is persuaded to act. The “What can be done?” page does have an example or two of what visitors
can do, but it is not very persuasive.
Development of Ideas ​– Developing
● The text on the map is very detailed and focused. Every box focuses on the topic at hand. There are clear
examples of environmental justice issues, as well as data showing how those issues are mostly focused
around minority and poor areas.
● Based on the map, the correlation between wealth and water/air quality isn’t obvious or consistent. For
example, Carroll and Fayette counties have similar pollution levels, but the median income level in
Fayette county is $15,000 more.
● The background information is quite thorough, providing enough background context about what
environmental injustices are. The page also communicates clearly what environmental injustice is, and
shows clear evidence pointing to how it is an issue.
● The “What can be done?” page is quite short and not very well focused. The argument is pretty short,
that the only thing that can be done is to raise awareness and combat the root causes. The following
examples focus almost completely on raising awareness, and do not talk about how to combat the root
causes. The following paragraphs detail a number of nonprofits and have a little blurb about what they
can do. However, this does not really help the core argument. I think it would make more sense if the
page went more into combating the root issues, or at least detailed some of the root issues. The list of
nonprofits to donate to is useful, but does not need to make up the bulk of the page.
Organization ​– Developing
● The pages of the website are organized in a competent fashion that are pretty clear to navigate. The
navigation bar and labels make it obvious where to look for specific information.
● Could you specify whether high numbers or low numbers are better for air/water quality?
 ● County specific information is very easy to find by using the interactive map. In each county box,
relevant information is provided. Additionally, the visualization of things like water and air quality make
it easy to find the numbers for them.
● However, the information could probably be provided in a little better way. All the information is
provided in a single paragraph, however, this isn’t the best way to present the information on a website.
Splitting it into more blocks or even more pages might be beneficial, with different levels of
information. Not all visitors are going to want a deep dive, so having an abstract at the top of the page,
with more information underneath may be a way to ensure that readers can easily get the level of
information they are looking for.
Conventions ​– Competent
● Articles and paragraphs only have minor grammatical errors.
● The tone of the website matches the intended audience, as it is not too academic. The Website makes
great use of the tabs at the top which allows the user to traverse the website and choose which section
they would like to read. The integration of the map on the Map tab is especially well done as it
incorporates a color overlay to give more visual help to the reader. However, adding a side tab section
for some social links to some related pages for support groups etc would be helpful and add some
increased flow through the site.
● A references page is provided with citations to all the works used. However, it seems like specific
citations might be missing, making it hard to line up the information with its sources. When doing
citations, consider using footnotes or links instead of parenthetical citations, as casual visitors may not
be able to understand parenthetical citations.
Design for Medium ​– Developing
● The website is clean, easy to navigate, and loads fast. The visual design is pretty decent and user
friendly.
● Think about changing to a sans-serif font as it is easier to read on websites. Additionally, think about
increasing the font size and increasing line spacing as it will make text easier to read.
● The interactive map is a very cool feature. It is a very creative way to use the medium and adds an
element of interactivity that is engaging. The ability to change modes is also very interesting, adding the
ability to view a lot more information, and the shading and coloring helps convey the information well.
● I wish there were a way to view multiple characteristics of a county at once. For example, being able to
turn on race and water quality at the same time, just to make the impact of environmental racism even
more obvious.
● This hardly matters at all, but on the top right corner of the map there is a check box that says “Air
Quality.” When you check it, it appears to show clouds at random points of interest nearby. Did you
know this feature was in there?
● If there are any specific numbers that might fit into the “Race/Ethnicity” section, adding them would be
beneficial, as right now, it does not convey any other information. Maybe also think about changing the
default to one of the modes, as the default also does not convey any extra information. Also, is the
county based breakdown the best way to present the information? Smaller divisions could be beneficial.
● The text-based information is not presented very well. The text is presented in paragraphs and large
blocks of text. This would be fine for a research paper, however, it does not really work in a web based
medium, as most visitors will not be willing to read the entire page. Think about breaking the paragraphs
into smaller chunks, adding section headers, and potentially some bullet points, so that a reader who is
just skimming is still able to easily find the information they are searching for.