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Irshad Zahidi

Professor Beadle

ENGL 115

15 December 2020

Picking the Prolific Persuasion (Revised)

The concept of rhetorical persuasion is used in various settings, whether it is formal or

informal, written or spoken. In "Bridge the Gap from High School to College," author Hailey

Jones expresses the importance of preparing for college, as it is a brand-new, unfamiliar

environment for someone who has just graduated from high school. Throughout her essay, Jones

maintains a straightforward yet informative tone. This enlightening piece on the transition from

high school to college is important because it provides a guide for many people who would

otherwise be lost. Meanwhile, in “Safe Space or Wasted Space,” author Ranzen Pangilinan

communicates the significance of the Pride Center at the CSU Northridge Student Union. The

Pride Center is essential to ensure a safe space for members of the LGBTQ community. The tone

used by Pangilinan in his essay can be best described as persuasive with a few personal details.

Despite these respectable pieces of writing, the most promising and effective argument comes

from Mercedes Guevara’s “Online Lessons: Literal and Figurative,” in which she demonstrates

why online courses can serve as a benefit, rather than a hindrance, to students. Guevara’s essay

matters because it provides an optimistic view on the current challenges that students face.

Although all three essays utilize logos, Guevara’s essay ultimately forms the strongest claim

because of her more advanced use of ethos and pathos. In addition, she refutes a strong and valid

counterpoint and currently relates to a larger audience in comparison to the previous two essays.
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The first reason why Mercedes Guevara’s essay is the most persuasive is due to the

personal appeal to the reader. Many students, like the author, have felt that their “procrastination

was the cause” of a sleepless night or a poor grade on an assignment (Guevara 89). Because most

students have, at one point or another, procrastinated on an assignment or project, they can relate

to the author’s experience. Guevara does an exceptional job of shaping her essay’s hook with

pathos, establishing her purpose for writing the essay. This emotional connection between the

author and reader ignites a spark that makes the process of persuasion easier. This is what

separates “Online Lessons: Literal and Figurative” from “Bridge the Gap from High School to

College” and “Safe Space or Wasted Space.” The beginning of “Bridge the Gap from High

School to College” lacks an inviting hook, one that draws the reader in. The author, Hailey

Jones, uses a rather blunt and unenthusiastic approach by immediately getting to her claim.

Although it could be argued that the directness she uses is actually efficient for her writing

purposes, it is critical to get the reader’s attention before attempting to persuade them, especially

in an argumentative essay. By choosing to not ease into her argument, Jones risks the chance of

losing her audience. Although the introduction to “Safe Space or Wasted Space” is very

stimulating for the reader, it is not easy to decipher where it is headed. This is because the

author, Ranzen Pangilinan, spends too much time on illustrating the details of the situation, and

misses the opportunity to form a clear and concise connection between the hook and the claim.

Upon review of the other two essays’ introductions, it can be decided that Mercedes Guevara’s

essay, “Online Lessons: Literal and Figurative,” provides the reader with the ideal hook. Guevara

perfectly combines the aspects of personal appeal, author credibility, and a proper hook-to-claim

transition.
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The second reason why “Online Lessons: Literal and Figurative” is the most persuasive

piece is because of the author’s ability to present a strong counterargument; and even more so,

her ability to rebut said opposing point. Guevara notes that some people may “argue that

technology lessens our ability to write because of the slang” used by a lot of adolescents when

communicating with their peers online (Guevara 90). She then completely debunks this thought,

using a Stanford study to support her rebuttal. The study conducted by Dr. Andrea Lunsford

concluded that technology does not hinder a student’s ability to write well, “rather it increases

the exposure to various styles of writing” (Guevara 90). Lunsford’s results conclusively

determine that students have the common sense and awareness to differentiate between situations

where they should use academic and casual vocabulary. The strong destruction of the

counterclaim is a massive advantage for Guevara when comparing her essay to “Bridge the Gap

from High School to College.” Unlike Guevara’s essay, “Bridge the Gap from High School to

College” by Hailey Jones does not offer a substantial counterargument. Jones’ lack of an

adequate opposing viewpoint combined with an already weak claim immediately limits her

argument. Jones attempts to reveal the counterargument by claiming that “academics are not the

only” category that students should expect changes in when transitioning from high school to

college (Jones 25). However, she is still admitting that academics are indeed, part of the changes

that incoming college students should look out for. Her writing veers more towards the direction

of an informative essay rather than a persuasive piece. Overall, Jones accepts that the opposition

is partially correct, waiving the opportunity to revisit and refute it later in the essay. Meanwhile,

in Ranzen Pangilinan’s essay titled “Safe Space or Wasted Space,” a counterargument is

included and addressed, but the author is not able to develop his rebuttal to said opposing view.

Pangilinan is aware that these “safe spaces” can lead to “an environment that fears dissenting
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viewpoints” (Pangilinan 60). His response to this is that the Pride Center will not “totally shut

out… views of disagreement” (Pangilinan 61). While this is an adequate and relieving statement,

it is not backed by any specifics; thus, rendering it useless.

The third reason why Guevara’s essay is the most persuasive is because it appeals to a

larger audience than Jones’ and Pangilinan’s essays. Due to this year’s unfortunate pandemic,

more students are currently taking online classes than ever before. The message that Guevara’s

essay conveys can be used to uplift students and give them hope for the unprecedented

conditions of this school year and possibly beyond. She mentions that online school was

especially beneficial not only for the purpose of “learning to read and write academically,” but

also for her personal development as she tested her mental limits (Guevara 91). Guevara

enhances her essay’s level of persuasion by illustrating the areas in which online school left a

positive influence on her. Because she listed improvements that relate widely to her audience, the

reader feels more engaged and directly influenced by the author’s advice and personal

experience. Although it can be argued that there are plenty of incoming college students, the

audience for Hailey Jones’ essay, that number pales in comparison to the number of total

students enrolled in an online course. The smaller audience and lack of personalization in the

essay combines for an overall lower level of persuasion in “Bridge the Gap from High School to

College” Similarly, in “Safe Space or Wasted Space,” the author does not have a large target

audience for the essay’s topic, which is centered around the need for universities to value

LGBTQ pride centers. Another dilemma with Pangilinan’s essay is that the opposition to pride

centers is not as substantial as one may think. Their essay refers to a study that noticed “74% [of

the participants] reported that anti-LGBTQ attitudes existed to some extent” (Pangilinan). This

statistic leads the reader to believe that the majority of people do support the existence of
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LGBTQ pride centers. Therefore, the argument’s level of persuasion decreases, as it is not a

pressing controversy.

Following review of all three essays, the conclusion is that Guevara’s essay establishes

the strongest claim and presents the most relevant evidence for her argument. In her essay,

Guevara confirms that she is a student and relates to the reader by connecting through the

academic habits of students. She refutes a strong counterpoint with relevant research and proper

application, and currently relates to a larger audience in comparison to the previous two essays.

The comparison of these three essays emphasizes the need for a balanced intro topic sentence

that finds a way to include rhetorical persuasion. Despite the content of the other two essays,

Guevara’s piece ultimately triumphs based on her stronger rhetoric and concrete persuasion.
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Works Cited

Guevara, Mercedes. “Online Lessons: Literal and Figurative.” WAVES: A Collection of Student

Essays written by Amy Reynolds and Amber Norwood, Editors and Corin Marie

Alvarado and Joseph Jaffray, Assistant Editors. 2nd edition, Macmillan Learning, 2020,

pp. 89-91.

Jones, Hailey. “Bridge the Gap from High School to College.” WAVES: A Collection of Student

Essays written by Amy Reynolds and Amber Norwood, Editors and Corin Marie

Alvarado and Joseph Jaffray, Assistant Editors. 2nd edition, Macmillan Learning, 2020,

pp. 25-27.

Pangilinan, Ranzen. “Safe Space or Wasted Space?” WAVES: A Collection of Student Essays

written by Amy Reynolds and Amber Norwood, Editors and Corin Marie Alvarado and

Joseph Jaffray, Assistant Editors. 2nd edition, Macmillan Learning, 2020, pp. 60-62.