FOR CUSTOMERS ONLY

Written by

Mim, Ian and Cody

codybrown@gmail.com
EXT.

A car pulls up to a rural gas station. A CUSTOMER hurriedly

enters gas station and heads to the restroom. She walks by
ATTENDANT as he is reading an old magazine. He does not
acknowledge her. She exits the restroom and walks to leave
the building. She is walking past the ATTENDANT when...

INT.

ATTENDANT
Excuse me, were you planning on
purchasing anything today?

CUSTOMER
Uhhh…no I just had to use the
bathroom quick.

ATTENDANT
Well, as you can see, our restrooms
are for customers only.

CUSTOMER
Oh. Well, I already went so…

ATTENDANT
Yes. I am aware. We prefer people
purchase something from our very fine
establishment or they retrieve what
they’ve left with us.

CUSTOMER
Oh Uh.. wait how would I?

ATTENDANT
Your process is not our concern
ma’am.

CUSTOMER
Well I’m obviously not gonna… get my
pee back so…

ATTENDANT
Great! We have a fine selection of
very useful products for a young
motorist on the road.

CUSTOMER
I’m not here to… I just kinda had to…

ATTENDANT
How about some motor oil. You’re
always gonna need motor oil. Or…
 2.

CUSTOMER
You're really suggesting I?...

ATTENDANT
Ice scraper's cheap right now,
winter's just around the corner
prices goin up.

CUSTOMER
You actually want me to?

ATTENDANT grabs a jar from below the counter and firmly

places it in front of her while he speaks.

ATTENDANT
My desires in the matter are not of
concern, ma’am. I am merely here to
communicate our policies and oversee
this spectacularly preserved
reflection of American post-war
homegrown rural family business.

CUSTOMER
You really want me to go get my pee
back right now?

ATTENDANT
You could just leave, I’m all the way
over here. But if ya did you’d be
breaking all sorts of societal
norms;.. not following rules,
disrespecting your elders,
disrespectin history!, Placing an
undue burden on a poor old fillin'
station owner.

CUSTOMER
Fine!

CUSTOMER grabs the jar and exits frame. ATTENDANT contently

sits idly by.

CUSTOMER frustratedly exits restroom with a full jar. Places

it on the counter.

CUSTOMER (cont'd)
Here.

ATTENDANT is pleasantly surprised.

ATTENDANT
Well ma'am! I am taken with your
decision.
 3.

CUSTOMER
Ugh!

INT./EXT.

CUSTOMER walks out of station.

CUSTOMER (cont'd)
You're out of toilet paper by the
way!

As CUSTOMER is seen returning to her car, ATTENDANT grabs a

roll of masking type, pulls a strip and writes "Disrespectin
City Woman #12" on the tape and applies it to the jar.

EXT.

CUSTOMER is in car ready to start it, she makes a frustrated

grunt and starts her car, car leaves frame.

INT.

ATTENDANT smiles, places jar below on shelf below frame

along with numerous jars with famous or notorious peoples
names. We cut back to him returning to his magazine as if
nothing of note has occurred. Another person walks past him
and straight towards the restroom. He smiles.

BLACK.