Some Tips for Crafting Stylish Sentences
The Tips The Tips (expanded with examples)
1. Don’t double complexity.
2. Use sentence variety intentionally, to
enhance meaning and create emphasis.
3. Let endings point forward.
4. Let beginnings point back.
5. Where appropriate, match subjects and agents.
6. Put your verbs to work: use concrete, vivid verbs,
and don’t overwork your adverbs
7. Reduce wordiness. Be concise.
Some Tips for Crafting Stylish Sentences
Remember: Grammar is about rules, but style is about
choices. These style tips aren’t ironclad, grammatical,
you-must-obey-them laws; They’re tools intended to help
you, the writer, make good decisions when trying to
revise a chunk of writing to be clearer and more graceful.
1. Don’t double complexity.
If your sentences feel tangled, observe this rule: The more
complex the thought is, the simpler the syntax* ought to be.
Compare A (overly complex grammar) and B (clearer
because grammatically simpler):
A. Democracy has been around since the time of
Socrates and has continued into the present day, in countries
such as the United States, where the citizens hold power
under a free electoral system. Even though democracy
operates differently in different places, all democracies have
two characteristic features, which are that all citizens have
equal access to power, and that all citizens enjoy universally
recognized liberties, including freedom of thought, freedom
of expression, and freedom of speech.
B. Democracy has been around since Socrates’s day. It
continues to thrive today. Democracy operates differently in
different places. However, all democracies share two
characteristic features. First, all citizens have equal access to
power. Second, all citizens enjoy universally recognized
liberties. These liberties include freedom of thought, of
expression, and of speech.
*syntax: the arrangement of words and phrases in order.
2. Use sentence variety intentionally, to enhance meaning 3. Let endings point forward.
and create emphasis. Put your most important idea at the end of your sentence,
Compare A (which lacks sentence variety) and B (clearer as well as the information you intend to develop in the
because grammatically simpler): next sentence.

A. When she was twenty, her father died. She heard of a Example: I crashed the car last Saturday afternoon, on my
job at the Tupelo Garment Plant. It paid two dollars a day for way home from a trip to the supermarket and the
a twelve-hour workday. There was a bus to pick up the girls Laundromat. I escaped without a scratch, though the car was
who lived out in the country. But not long after starting work, totaled.
she decided to move to town. She settled herself and her Revised: Last Saturday afternoon, on my way home from a
family on Kelly Street in the little community above the trip to the supermarket and the Laundromat, I crashed the car.
highway, in East Tupelo. Her uncles Sims and Gains Mansell The car was totaled, but I escaped without a scratch.
already lived there. Gains co-pastored the tiny new First
Assembly of God Church that had sprung up in a tent on a Example: President Abraham Lincoln was assassinated on
vacant lot. That was where she met Vernon Presley. April 14, 1865, while watching a play at Ford’s Theater. The
nation was shocked by this act of violence.
B. When she was twenty, her father died, and she heard
of a job at the Tupelo Garment Plant that paid two dollars a Revised: On April 14, 1865, while watching a play at Ford’s
day for a twelve-hour workday. There was a bus to pick up Theater, President Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. This
the girls who lived out in the country, but, not long after act of violence shocked the nation.
starting work, she decided to move to town, and she settled
herself and her family on Kelly Street in the little community
above the highway, in East Tupelo, where her uncles Sims
and Gains Mansell already lived and Gains co-pastored the
tiny new First Assembly of God Church that had sprung up in
a tent on a vacant lot. That was where she met Vernon
Presley.
4. Let beginnings point back.
Use the beginning of your sentences to refer to (a) what
you’ve already mentioned or (b) knowledge that you can
assume you and your reader readily share.
Example: John Oliver is perhaps the most accomplished satirist
working today. Satire, as mentioned previously, attacks those in
power in the name of truth.
Revised: Satire attacks those in power in the name of truth. Perhaps
the most accomplished satirist working today is John Oliver.
Example: The number of wounded and dead in World War I
exceeded all the other wars in European history. One of the reasons
for the lingering animosity between some nations today is the
memory of this terrible carnage.
Revised: Of all the wars in European history up to that point, none
exceeded World War I in the number of wounded and dead. The
memory of this terrible carnage is one of the reasons for the
animosity between some European nations today.
5. Match subjects and agents.
When it’s appropriate, make the subject of your verb the
agent of the action the verb describes.
VERB: A word that describes an action or condition.
SUBJECT: The word or phrase in the sentence that
names who or what is doing/being what the verb
describes.
AGENT: The actual who or what is performing the action
or in the condition that the verb describes.
In 2020, The Weeknd recorded “Blinding Lights.”
Subject = the words “The Weeknd.” Agent =
SUBJECT and AGENT MATCH J
In 2020, recorded “Blinding Lights” was recorded by The Weeknd.
Subject = the words “Blinding Lights.” Agent =
SUBJECT and AGENT MISMATCH L
6. Put your verbs to work.
6A. Use concrete, vivid verbs
To express actions and conditions, use specific verbs,
adverbs, or adjectives rather than abstract nouns.
The term action here includes physical actions (e.g.,
walking, talking, raining) as well as non-physical ones
(believing, caring, analyzing). The term condition refers
to a “state of being:” e.g., “The sun is larger than the
moon,” or “My brother stands at 6 feet, 2 inches”
Abstract nouns are verbs that have been turned into
nouns: e.g., investment, a noun that comes from the verb
to invest; or interpretation, which comes from the verb to
interpret; or sight, from to see.
There’s nothing “wrong” with abstract nouns, per se.
However, because a verb is where a sentence truly does
its work, sentences that are loaded up with abstract
nouns and that expect the verb to be or to have to do all
the work tend to be a lot less lively and difficult to parse,
especially when several are strung together.
Abstract: We had a discussion of the matter.
Concrete: We discussed the matter.
Abstract: A review was done of the relevant regulations.
Concrete: The team reviewed the relevant regulations.
Abstract: The intention of the committee is the improvement of
the company morale.
Concrete: The committee intends to improve company morale.
6. Put your verbs to work.
6B. Don’t overwork your adverbs
Use adverbs, if at all, to change the meaning of verbs,
rather than to amplify or intensify them.
Amplifying or intensifying (i.e., redundant) adverbs
The blast completely destroyed the church office.
Elvis gyrated wildly before his fans.
Maria ran quickly to class.
The spy peered furtively through the bushes.
Adverbs that helpfully change the meaning of the verbs
The blast nearly destroyed the church office.
Elvis gyrated listlessly before his fans.
Maria ran reluctantly to class.
The spy peered blindly through the bushes.
A mediocre paragraph (with redundant adverbs included)
Black-clad and white-clad nuns silently prayed. They choked up
tearfully. The long years on the Bowery had not nearly stolen
Laurence Stroetz’s touch. Blindness made his fingers stumble
clumsily down to the violin bridge, but they recovered. The
music died quietly and the audience applauded politely. The old
violinist bowed deeply and his sunken cheeks smiled happily.
The same paragraph but stronger, because the redundant
adverbs are and the verbs are more concrete
Black-clad and white-clad nuns moved lips in silent prayer. They
choked up. The long years on the Bowery had not stolen
Laurence Stroetz’s touch. Blindness made his fingers stumble
down to the violin bridge, but they recovered. The music died
and the audience pattered applause. The old violinist bowed and
his sunken cheeks creased in a smile.
~ Meyer Berger, New York Times
7. Reduce wordiness. Be concise. Again, remember that grammar is about rules, but style is
about choices. These tips aren’t ironclad, grammatical,
WORDINESS: When there are words in your sentences you-must-obey-them laws; They’re stylistic tips, intended
that don’t add anything to the sentences’ meaning. The to help you make good decisions when you’re trying to
opposite of “wordy” is concise. revise a chunk of writing to be clearer and more graceful.
Wordy: The dogs who were barking outside in the alley next to
my house kept me up and awake all night long.
Concise: The dogs barking in the alley kept me up all night.
Wordy: My sister is a nice, kind person who cannot understand
or comprehend how other people in our town can be so mean and
cruel to people.
Concise: My sister is a nice person who cannot understand how
others can be so mean.
Wordy: The struggle for liberty and freedom is a struggle that
has gone on for a very long time indeed.
Concise: The struggle for liberty has gone on for a long time.