How to Be Single and Happy

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PARTS

1Considering the Benefits of Single Life

2Enjoying the Benefits of Single Life

OTHER SECTIONS

Questions & Answers

Tips and Warnings

Related Articles

References

Article Summary
Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Last Updated: February 28, 2021 References Approved

Have you recently broken up with a significant other and find yourself struggling to be happy?
Or maybe you’ve been single too long and feel like you’ll never be happy until you find your
soulmate? It might seem like you’ll never be able to be happy and single, but it’s really not so
different than being happy under any other conditions. By finding out exactly what you’re
passionate about and cultivating its presence in your life as much as possible, you can learn to be
happy in a way that doesn’t depend on your relationship status. Keep reading to learn more about
how to be happy and single.
Part 1
Considering the Benefits of Single Life
1.

1
Consider the health benefits of being single. Being single is associated with a
decreased risk of adverse health effects from dysfunctional marriages or intimate
relationships. Some studies have shown that bad relationships can actually make you
physically unhealthy. But singles are more likely to be fit and healthy. Singles also tend
to go to the gym more, eat better, and have lower stress levels.[1]
  Single people tend to be thinner than people who are in a relationship.
One study found that people gain an average of 14 or more pounds after
starting a relationship.[2]
 Single people also get more, good quality sleep than people who share a
bed with a partner.[3]
 Single women have better mental health than married women,
especially married women who have children.[4]

2.

2
Appreciate your freedom to spend your time how you want. When you are in a
relationship, you can’t disregard the needs and desires of your partner. Sometimes you
have to do things that you don’t want to do in order to keep your partner happy. But
when you are single, you can spend your time how you want. You don’t need to worry
about pleasing anyone but yourself. That means that you have more time for your
hobbies, personal interests, career, and overall well-being. Enjoy this freedom while
you are single![5]
 Spend extra time on your hobbies. Did you want to write a song? Climb
a mountain? Finish that big history book? Now is your chance! Make
goals for yourself, and feel proud of your new accomplishments. Do
something fun for yourself.
 Work hard at your school or career. When you're single, it's easier to
put in more work, because no significant other needs your attention. Try
taking on an extra project, or putting additional effort into a difficult
part. Enjoy the raised eyebrows as you impress people with what a hard
worker you are.
 Pamper yourself. Give yourself some extra care, and set aside time just
for you. Read a good book, take a long hot bath, put on your fuzziest
bathrobe, and listen to your favorite music. Now you can take extra
good care of yourself.

3.
3
Consider the financial benefits of being single. When you are in a relationship, you
may have to deal with a spouse who is irresponsible with his or her money. This can
cause financial problems for you as well. But when you are single, you don’t have to
worry about anyone else’s spending and saving habits. You can use the money you earn
how you want to use it.[6]

4.

4
Enjoy the ability to maintain friendships and create new ones. When you are in a
relationship, it is much harder to maintain relationships with friends and make new
friends because your partner consumes most of your time and affection. But when you
are single, you have more time to devote to your friends and to go out and meet new
people. Remind yourself of this when you are feeling down for being single. Consider
the relationships that would suffer if you had a significant other who occupied most of
your time and energy.[7]
 Work on the relationships you care most about, and build yourself a
strong support network. Spend time with your loved ones, talk about
your life and your fears, and you will feel more and more loved.

5.

5
Savor the less frequent, but more enjoyable sex. When you are in a relationship, you
may have sex every day or at least a few times a week. When you are single, your sex
life may be much less active than that. But studies have shown that although singles
tend to have less sex, they enjoy it more than people who are in a relationship.[8]
 6.

6
Know that you have the ability to seek out romantic relationships if you want to. If
you are still having a hard time seeing all of the benefits of being single, keep in mind
that you can always seek out a romantic relationship if you are truly unhappy. Being
single is not for everyone and some people thrive when they have the love and
companionship of one person. Remind yourself that you can always seek out a
relationship if you prefer.
 Consider an online dating site to find people who are also looking for a
committed relationship. Seeking out others who are interested in a
relationship and not just casual dating may save you from some
heartbreak later down the road.
Part 2
Enjoying the Benefits of Single Life
1.

1
Ignore media depictions of happy couples. Part of the reason why some people may
feel unhappy when they are single is because of media depictions that reinforce the idea
that we need to be in a relationship to be happy. Try your best to ignore this message
because it is not true. Avoid romantic comedies and magazines that reinforce the idea
that being single is bleak and being in a relationship is bliss.
 Depictions of being a single woman may be just as troubling because
they are often idealized (a superwoman who has it all) or villainous (a
sad lonely woman who has nothing). Neither of these depictions are
realistic, so do your best to recognize them as false representations of
what it’s like to be single.[9]

2.
2
Focus on becoming the best person you can be. Being single is an opportunity to
focus on yourself and work towards your ideal vision of who you want to be. Take
classes, work out, grow a garden, do volunteer work, go to therapy, or do whatever your
heart desires. Just remember that everything you do should be for you!
 Concentrate on yourself while you are single and figure out what you
like and don't like. Developing a stronger sense of who you are will
help you as you go through life and it will also help you to identify
people who you would be truly compatible with(if you ever choose to
enter into a relationship again).[10]
 Take up a new hobby! Learn guitar, join a tap class, grow a garden,
write a novel, cook some gourmet meals! Whatever you've ever wanted
to do, do it now. Trying something new can lead to new skills,
friendships, and increased self-esteem.

3.

3
Treat yourself. It is important to maintain a positive self-image while you are single.
Buy yourself a new outfit, get your nails done, treat yourself to a spa day, or get a
massage. Just because you don't have someone to impress or please doesn't mean you
should stop doing nice things for yourself. You are a strong, independent person who
deserves the best. So give it to yourself!

4.

4
Surround yourself with supportive people. Whether you’ve found yourself in the
middle of a dating cold streak or recently gotten out of a serious relationship, spending
too much time alone has the potential to make you feel even worse.[11] Try to make
plans with people as much as possible. If you don’t feel like any of your friends are
supportive, consider joining a club or a gym to make some new friends.
 While being supported by others might seem like a luxury that not
everyone needs or can afford, psychologists now know that strong
social relationships are actually essential to emotional well-being and
physical health.[12] So while you don’t necessarily need to be in an
intimate relationship with another person to be happy, feeling supported
by a group of people who you trust can be an essential part of being
single and happy.

5.

5
Encourage yourself. Say things that you like about yourself to help yourself feel
happy. Positive daily affirmations can help you to feel happier day by day. Take a few
moments every day to look at yourself in the mirror and say something encouraging to
yourself. You can either say something that you believe about yourself or something
that you would like to believe about yourself.[13] Some examples of positive
affirmations include:
 “I am intelligent.”
 “I am a caring friend.”
 “People enjoy spending time with me.”

6.

6
Become an optimist. Being optimistic can help you to feel happier whether you are
single, married, divorced, or widowed. Practicing optimism will help you to stay
focused on the things that you like about yourself and your situation and stop dwelling
on things you don’t like about yourself or your situation.[14]
 For example, instead of dwelling on something you dislike about being
single, remind yourself of all the things you do like about being single,
such as being able to flirt without feeling guilty and being able to do
what you want with your free time.
 Try keeping a gratitude diary. Every night, think of three things you are
grateful for and write them down. Doing this every day will help you to
develop a more positive outlook over time and it can even help you to
sleep better and enjoy better health.[15]