Complimentary to the bereaved

Issue 1

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY
MAGAZINE

Essential
COPING WITH LOSS
Helping you to understand
and deal with your emotions
at this difficult time

FINANCIAL MATTERS
Expert advice on legal issues,
including probate, intestacy
GUIDANCE
rules and Inheritance Tax FOR THE BEREAVED

FUNERAL OPTIONS

A complete guide to
organising the modern
memorial service

• Bespoke and eco-friendly coffins • Top tips on writing and delivering a memorable eulogy

BT1 01 Cover.indd 1 6/8/09 7:06:45 pm

BT1 IBC Rowlands Borthers Ad.indd 112 6/8/09 7:23:51 pm
 Introduction
INTRODUCTION

F irst and foremost, if you are

reading this magazine because
you have recently suffered a
loss, then I would like to take
this opportunity to offer my
condolences to you and your family.
It is a few years now since my father
passed away after suffering a short
battle with lung cancer. It was a painful
and difficult time and yet there were
many decisions that had to be made
as I had been entrusted with arranging
the funeral, dealing with the estate and
other duties that had to be carried out.
And, whilst our funeral director was a
great help, I felt that if I had been better
informed about the services, products
and assistance that was available, I
would have done things very differently.
The main purpose of Bereavement
Today Magazine is to provide a complete
overview of the services, products and as-
sistance that is available to you, enabling
you to make more informed decisions on
the choices you will have to make, and
hopefully this will lessen the burden on
you as you carry them out.
Whether it’s an eco-friendly or
customised coffin or a probate issue,
hopefully you will find the answers
within these pages.
Everything featured in the magazine is
available to you, but if you have any prob-
lem obtaining your choice of product or if
you need any further information please
email us at info@bereavementtoday.com

Daryl Gregory
Publisher

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 3

BT1 003 Introduction.indd 3 9/8/09 10:00:04 pm

 Funeral
Arrangements
B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY

S E RV I C E
Bereavement Today provides a unique service that will assist
you with the burden of tasks that have to be carried out at
this difficult time. With our extensive network of funeral
services throughout Greater London we are able to find you
the most suitable options in your local area, and often at
preferred rates. Our Specialist finding
service includes the following:

Funeral Directors
We will nominate a funeral director in
your local area that will give you the
guidance, support and reassurance
you need and ensure the day is as
memorable and meaningful as possible.
Coffins
The choice of coffins is huge. You may want
a traditional wooden coffin or you may
prefer a willow, seagrass, personalised or wool
one. We will make you aware of all the options
ensuring you make the perfect choice.
Funeral reception venues
We have a vast network of venues across Greater
London from football clubs to stately homes to
local function rooms and can get discounted rates
on your behalf.
Caterers
We can nominate excellent caterers in your area that
will ensure the wake/reception runs smoothly and the
event is a huge success.
Special requests
Whether you are planning a memorial service at Ascot
racecourse or wish to have some of your loved one’s
ashes turned into diamonds, we will do our utmost to
ensure your wishes are carried out.

Cost £95.00
For our Funeral Arrangements Service
contact Bereavement Today
Tel: 020 7467 4420
Email: info@bereavementtoday.com
www.bereavementtoday.com

BT1 004 Funeral Service Ad.indd 4 9/8/09 8:18:29 pm

 “tomatoes,
Growing

walking Remember
your loved
by the sea, one with an
catching In Memoriam gift
up with his
For nearly 90 years, the Legion has led the country
in remembering the courage of our Armed Forces.
These are men and women whose bravery has put

old regiment them in the firing line, from the trenches of World
War I to the front line in Afghanistan.

– that’s how We never forget the bravery

of the now frail D-Day hero,

I remember or the young man or woman

recently returned from a tour

dad”
of duty struggling to make
a new life on civvy street.
Credit: Imagewise.
Every gift left to us In
Memoriam, every gift left
to us as a Legacy in a Will,
helps us to provide the
“When Dad passed away, instead of practical and emotional
sending floral tributes, I asked Dad’s support so many ex-Service
men and women, and their
friends to make an In Memoriam gift
families need. It could help
to The Royal British Legion. It’s a install a stair lift for an elderly
special way of remembering him veteran and enable him to
and helping a cause close to his retain his independence or
heart. It’s a fitting tribute to him, ensure that a badly injured
soldier receives the disability
a last salute, if you like.”
pension he deserves. Just
by remembering, you
can do so much.

If you would like to know more about

how your In Memoriam gift or Legacy
could help, please call 0203 207 2255.

www.britishlegion.org.uk/inmemory
Registered Charity No: 219279

13456 InMem-ad 210x297 AW.indd 1 6/7/09 16:09:39

 Contents
CONTENTS

Coping with initial emotions...................................................................8 Complimentary to the bereaved Issue 1

What to do first ......................................................................................... 10 B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY

MAGAZINE
Registering a death .................................................................................. 16
Funeral options ......................................................................................... 18
A Natural Ending .................................................................................... 20

Essential
Woodland burial grounds ..................................................................... 22
COPING WITH LOSS
Helping you to understand
and deal with your emotions
at this difficult time

Planning the ceremony ........................................................................... 25 FINANCIAL MATTERS

Expert advice on legal issues, GUIDANCE
Memorial services .................................................................................... 26 including probate, intestacy
rules and Inheritance Tax FOR THE BEREAVED

Funeral transport ..................................................................................... 28

Repatriation ............................................................................................... 32
Choosing a funeral director .................................................................. 36 FUNERAL OPTIONS

How to arrange a funeral without a funeral director .................. 38 A complete guide to

Paying for the funeral.............................................................................. 40 organising the modern

memorial service

Directory – Funeral directors............................................................... 42 • Bespoke and eco-friendly coffins • Top tips on writing and delivering a memorable eulogy

Colourful coffins ....................................................................................... 48 BT1 01 Cover.indd 1 6/8/09 7:06:45 pm

Coffins showcase ....................................................................................... 52 CREDITS

Directory – Reception venues .............................................................. 62 Publisher Daryl Gregory
Editor Jacqui Hazell
Memorials and headstones ................................................................... 66 Features writers James Clark,
Gifts & keepsakes ..................................................................................... 68 Giles Crosse, John Hemmingway,
Larissa Khatchik, Madeline Thomas,
Funeral flowers .......................................................................................... 72 Louise Voss, Stephanie Zia.
A Year Ago Today .................................................................................... 76 Art director Matt Dettmar
Advertising manager Joe Fahy
Talking to children ................................................................................... 78 Sales executives James Hartley,
Lisa Thomas
Five stages of grief ..................................................................................... 80 Design & production
Remembrance jewellery ......................................................................... 82 Freelance Magazine Design
www.freelancemagazinedesign.co.uk
Donate in memory................................................................................... 84
Writing and delivering a eulogy .......................................................... 86 Bereavement Today Magazine is
Funeral plans ............................................................................................. 88 published by EPR Direct Ltd.
Choosing a probate solicitor ................................................................. 90 EPR Direct Ltd cannot accept
Understanding probate .......................................................................... 92 responsibility for the products or
services offered by the advertiser.
The probate process ................................................................................. 94
Copyright © EPR Direct Ltd,
Directory – Probate solicitors .............................................................. 96 37B New Cavendish Street, London
Intestacy rules ......................................................................................... 100 W1G 8JR, Tel: 0207 467 4420.
Legacy investing ..................................................................................... 104 No part of this magazine may be
reproduced without the prior
Inheritance tax ....................................................................................... 106 permission of the publishers.
Inheritance tax planning .................................................................... 108 The greatest care has been taken to
Making a will ......................................................................................... 110 ensure accuracy, but EPR Direct Ltd
cannot accept responsibility for
Caring for an aged family member................................................. 112 omissions or errors.
Useful contacts........................................................................................ 114
6

BT1 006 Contents.indd 6 10/8/09 1:26:12 am

 The lasting
alternative
to flowers
At Donate in memory you can set
up a tribute for a loved one online.
Share your memories with family and
friends as well as collecting messages
of condolence and donations for
Cancer Research UK’s life-saving work.
Donate in memory is a simple way to
build a personal memorial and help
more people beat cancer in the future.

Remember a loved one

www.donateinmemory.org

Registered charity number 1089464

36770_CR_ad_bereavement_today_A4_AW.indd 1 12/6/09 10:14:09

 Emotions
COPING WITH INITIAL EMOTIONS
COPING WITH
INITIAL
The loss of a loved one often comes as a huge shock. Louise Voss draws on her own
experience to offer practical advice on how best to cope with the initial feelings of grief.
L osing a loved one is probably
the most unpleasant, painful
experience that we as human
beings will ever suffer, and
these days, it’s far less frequent
than it ever was in previous generations.
Obviously this is a good thing – but it does
mean that when bereavement occurs, it
is seen much less as ‘a part of life’s rich
tapestry’, and much more of a frightening,
alien event. The reactions of others can
often make a bereaved person feel even
more alone and down, so it is important to
understand what could help someone cope
with a loss – and, if you are the one suffer-
ing the loss, how others might perceive it.
When I was 18, my beloved father died
after a short battle with cancer. It was
many years ago now, but certain things
still stick in my mind, both negative and
positive. I remember Mum crying because
people she knew well were crossing the
street to avoid her. I was furious at the
time, but both Mum and I eventually
came to understand that it wasn’t because
they were shunning her; it was simply that
they had no idea what to say that would
be in any way helpful. They were afraid
of saying the wrong thing. As a result, I
always now contact bereaved friends –
nothing over the top, but a simple ‘I’m so
sorry for your loss. Please let me know if
there’s anything at all I can do to help,’ or a
heartfelt, ‘I’m there for you whenever you
need me, day or night.’
A lady from church wrote such a mov-
ing letter to my mother that I can still
remember parts of it all these years later:
‘For you, my dear, and for the family,
there is no easy way…’ It was so honest
and caring, and it meant more to all of us
than she would ever know, even though
BT1 008-009 Coping with Initial Emotions.indd 8
she wasn’t even a particularly close
family friend. I know of others who say
they still cherish such supportive letters
from friends, and that they really do help
through the worst of times.
Bereavement itself is never just one
feeling, but a whole myriad of different
emotions that come at different times
with differing intensity and duration,
depending on the depth and closeness of
relationship with the deceased, and the
personality of the bereaved. The Kübler-
Ross model is commonly accepted as
the five most definitive stages of grief
(introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
in her 1969 book On Death and Dying):
from disbelief (shock and numbness)
into anger, then bargaining (‘if only I’d
said or done something different…’ or
even, ‘I wish I’d died instead’), into de-
pression – which can often be the longest
stage – and finally into acceptance.
You should not feel surprised, though,
if the grieving process is not what you
TOP TIPS
◆ If possible, have a friend or family
member with you to look after you for
the first few days.
◆ Go to see your GP. Get sleeping pills
for short-time relief if you aren’t sleeping.
◆ Accept practical help offered from
friends, neighbours or family – having
something to do for you will make them
feel better too.
◆ Talk to any of the organizations opposite.
◆ If the death is unexpected, give yourself
at least 24 hours before making any deci-
sions regarding funeral arrangements.
◆ Don’t drink to excess – it won’t help.
◆ Try not to take it personally if people
behave slightly oddly towards you.
might have expected, or have seen in
other people – everyone is different. The
key thing is to be kind to yourself, allow
yourself to grieve in your own time, and
don’t shut yourself off from the world.
When Dad died, I was astonished
that I did not cry, not for several days.
I felt completely numb. I remember
going for lengthy walks alone, around
town, at night. My mother, brother and
I seemed to disappear into our own
separate worlds, and I don’t recall really
communicating with either of them at
all, for a long time – which is awful to
look back on. I think we were afraid of
each other’s emotions. It would have
been healthier to sit together and cry,
but we couldn’t. In the end, about four
days later, a friend took me for a long
walk in the forest, and it was then that I
finally crumbled – and felt much better
for it afterwards. It’s not good to repress
the grief – it will always find some way
of coming out eventually and possibly in
a more damaging form, such as physical
illness or mental breakdown.
One of the myths about mourning is that
it has an ending point, that if you just wait
long enough, it suddenly stops hurting. It
doesn't. It requires work. More than time,
bereavement takes effort to heal. Mourning
is a natural and personal process that only
you can pace. It cannot be rushed and it
cannot happen without your participation.”
On Being Alone: A Guide for the
Newly Widowed (AARP leaflet)
It is equally important, though, to
know that you will get over it, in time,
and you will be able to lead a normal,
happy life once more. It’s a cliché, but
such a truism too: time is indeed a
great healer. •
9/8/09 8:19:45 pm
 CONTACTS FOR FURTHER
HELP AND INFORMATION
www.bereavementadvice.org
Bereavement Advice Centre offers advice
on all aspects of bereavement.
Helpline: 0800 634 9494
www.childbereavement.org.uk
Child Bereavement is a national charity to
help grieving families and the professionals
who care for them.
Support and Information: 01494 446648
www.tcf.org.uk
Compassionate Friends is an
organisation of bereaved parents
and their families offering sup-
port after the death of a child or
children. The helpline is always
answered by a bereaved parent
who is there to listen.
Helpline: 0845 123 2304
Email: info@tcf.org.uk
www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk
Cruse Bereavement Care provides
counselling and support, and
offers information, advice,
education and training services.
Helpline: 0844 477 9400
Email: helpline@cruse.org.uk
www.rd4u.org.uk
RD4U (Cruse Bereavement Care's
young persons services).
Helpline: 0808 808 1677
Email: info@rd4u.org.uk
www.nawidows.org.uk
National Association of Widows is
a self-help organisation, run by widows,
for widows, that offers comfort, friend-
ship and a listening ear to widows and
unmarried women who have lost a partner
through bereavement.
Tel: 0845 838 2261
Email: info@nawidows.org.uk
www.samaritans.org.uk
Samaritans Helpline: 08457 90 90 90
Email: jo@samaritans.org
www.uk-sands.org
Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society
(SANDS)
Helpline: 020 7436 5881
Email: helpline@uk-sands.org.
www.wayfoundation.org.uk
The Way Foundation is an organisation
for people who have become widows or
widowers at a young age.
Tel: 0870 011 3450
Email: info@wayfoundation.org.uk
“ B E R E AV E M E N T I T S E L F I S N E V E R
JUST ONE FEELING, BUT A WHOLE
MYRIAD OF DIFFERENT EMOTIONS”
B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 9

BT1 008-009 Coping with Initial Emotions.indd 9 9/8/09 8:19:59 pm

 What
W H AT T O D O F I R S T
TO DO FIRST…
When someone dies, there are legal
issues to attend to and decisions to be
made. Here, we present the essential
information you need to know.
W hen someone dies
there are various
official matters
to deal with and
arrangements to
make at what can be a difficult time of
great personal distress. In the first instance,
a Medical Certificate detailing the cause
of death must be obtained and the death
must be registered. Then there are other
decisions to make regarding funeral ar-
rangements and other matters. Our guide
will provide you with the information you
need to make informed decisions.
If the Death Occurs in Hospital
If the death occurs in hospital it is
usual for the hospital staff to contact
the person named by the deceased as
next of kin. This may be a relative or
a friend.
If you have been named as next
of kin, hospital staff will arrange a
convenient time for you to attend
the hospital where you will be asked
to formally identify the body. The
hospital will have its own mortuary
where the body will be kept until the
executor or someone acting on their
behalf arranges for it to be taken away.
You may, if you wish, request to see the
hospital chaplain.
Hospital staff will arrange for the
deceased’s possessions to be collected
by the nearest relative. The hospital will:
◆ Issue a Medical Certificate if the cause death was not due to natural causes, do
of death is quite clear
10
BT1 010-015 What to do First.indd 10
◆ Or, in a minority of cases, report
the death to the coroner and make
arrangements for a post mortem,
if required.
If the Death Occurs Elsewhere
Expected Death
Many people who die at home have been
ill for some time and therefore their
and contact the police immediately. The
death may be referred to the coroner.
If the Death Occurs Abroad or in
Scotland or Northern Ireland
When a death occurs abroad or on a foreign
ship or aircraft, you must register the death
according to the local regulations of that
country and get a Death Certificate. It is
death has been expected. In such a case, also advisable to register the death with the
contact the doctor who has attended the British Consul so that a record of the death
deceased during their final illness. The will be kept in England. You will then be
doctor may be able to certify the cause of able to get a copy of the Death Certificate
death and provide the following: from the consulate later or from the Foreign
and Commonwealth Office:
◆ A Medical Certificate showing the
cause of death (this is free and Foreign and Commonwealth Office
will be in a sealed envelope addressed Nationality and Passport Section
to the registrar). Room G/35
◆ A Formal Notice that states that the Old Admiralty Building
doctor has signed the Medical London SW1A 2PA
Certificate and tells you how to get the Telephone: 0207 008 1500
death registered. Email: BMDenquiries@fco.gov.uk
Website: www.fco.gov.uk
Unexpected Death
If someone dies unexpectedly, you There are certain circumstances whereby
should contact the following: you must also report a death that has
occurred abroad to a coroner (a doctor or
◆ The family doctor (if known) lawyer responsible for investigating deaths):
◆ The deceased’s nearest relative
◆ The deceased’s minister of religion (if ◆ If the deceased was not attended
appropriate) by a doctor during the last illness
◆ The police (who will help find the or the doctor treating the deceased
people above if necessary) had not seen him or her either after
death or within the 14 days before death.
If for any reason you suspect the ◆ If the death was violent or unnatural
or occurred under suspicious
not touch or move anything in the room circumstances.
9/8/09 8:20:29 pm
 ◆ If the cause of death is not known or Moving a Body Out of Scotland or Northern Ireland. These
is uncertain. England or Wales must show the cause of death and a Cer-
◆ If the death occurred while the patient Only the coroner can give tificate of No Liability to Register from
was undergoing an operation or did permission for a body to the registrar in England and Wales, in
not recover from the anaesthetic. be moved out of England or whose sub-district it is intended to bury
◆ If the death was caused by an Wales. This permission has to or cremate the body. This certificate is
industrial disease. be obtained at least four days not required if a coroner has issued a
◆ If the death occurred in prison or in before the body is to be moved Certificate form 6 for Cremation or an
police custody. (although the coroner may be Order for Burial.
◆ If the information about the death able to give permission sooner)
abroad is incomplete and the body is so that any necessary enquiries Arranging a Cremation
brought to England or Wales. may be carried out. Afterwards To arrange a cremation in England
you will be given a Removal or Wales, where the death occurred
Funeral Abroad Notice (form 104), part of abroad, you will need a cremation order
You can arrange a local burial or which is sent to the registrar from the Local Coroner or a form 6
cremation. This will avoid the expense after the funeral. Permission from the coroner. Their details will be
of bringing the body back. The British must be obtained whenever the available from any local funeral direc-
Consul in that country can register funeral is to take place outside tor. Either of these dispenses with the
the death and a record will be kept at England or Wales. need for forms 4 and 5 in England or
the Nationality and Passport Section This procedure applies in all Wales. In respect of deaths in Scotland,
(address as detailed above). cases where the body is to be Northern Ireland, the Channel Islands
moved out of England or Wales, and the Isle of Man, the equivalent of
Bringing a Body Back to not just where a death was re- forms 4 and 5 are acceptable in England
England or Wales ported to the coroner. There are and Wales.
You may be able to bring the body back several firms that specialise in If death was from natural causes, the
to England or Wales. Most funeral direc- repatriation of which Rowland Local Coroner will issue an order on
tors should be able to advise you on the Brothers have an outstanding the production of the application for
practicalities of the particular case and reputation in this sector, and cremation (form 1) and original docu-
the likely cost. There are several firms can be contacted direct on ments (which must clearly state the
that specialise in repatriation of which 0208 684 2324. cause of death) from the country where
Rowland Brothers have an outstanding death occurred. The Local Coroner
reputation in this sector, and can be Arranging the Funeral in may require authorised translations of
contacted direct on 020 8684 2324. England or Wales documents in some foreign languages.
You will need the Death Certificate To arrange a funeral in England You should send these forms to the
from the place the person died, or an or Wales you will need an Local Coroner. Mark your envelope
authorisation for the removal of the authenticated translation of a ‘Cremation Urgent’.
body from the country of death from foreign Death Certificate, or If the death is not due to natural
the coroner or relevant authority. a Death Certificate issued in causes is must be the subject of a

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 11

BT1 010-015 What to do First.indd 11 9/8/09 8:20:30 pm

 W H AT T O D O F I R S T
coroner’s inquest. In these cases the
coroner will issue form 6 for cremation
on opening the inquest.
Cause of Death
If the cause of death is quite clear
the doctor will give you a Medical
Certificate and a Formal Notice that the
Medical Certificate has been signed.
This is usually the case when
someone has been ill for some time
and therefore their death has been
expected. The doctor who has at-
tended the deceased during their final
illness will be able to certify the cause
of death and provide the Medical
Certificate and Formal Notice.
Post-mortems
If the death was known to be caused by
a natural illness but the doctors wish to
know more about the cause of death,
they may ask the relatives for permission
to carry out a post-mortem examina-
tion. This is a medical examination of
the body which can find out more about
the cause of death and should not delay
the funeral.
HIV AIDS
If death followed illness from HIV or
AIDS there may be special rules
about handling the body. The Ter-
ence Higgins Trust can advise on
funeral arrangements and offer
other practical support. Contact:
Terence Higgins Trust
52-54 Grays Inn Road
London WC1X 8JU
Helpline: 0845 1221 200
Email: info@tht.org.uk
Website: www.tht.org.uk
Reporting a Death to the Coroner
In any of the following circumstances
the doctor may report the death to
the coroner:
◆ An accident or injury
◆ An industrial disease
◆ During a surgical operation
before recovery from an anaesthetic
◆ If the cause of death is unknown
◆ The death was sudden and unex- will hold an inquest if the death:
plained, for instance, a sudden
infant death (cot death)
The coroner may be the only
person who can certify the cause
of death. The doctor will write on
the Formal Notice that the death has
been referred to the coroner.
12
BT1 010-015 What to do First.indd 12
If the doctor treating the deceased had Coroner’s Post-mortem
not seen him or her, either after death or The coroner may arrange for a post-
within 14 days before death, the death mortem examination of the body. The
must be reported to the coroner. consent of the relatives is not needed,
but they are entitled to be represented
The Coroner at the examination by a doctor. When
The coroner is a doctor of lawyer relatives have told the coroner they wish
responsible for investigating deaths in to be represented, the coroner will, if
the following situations: at all practicable, tell them when and
where the examination will take place.
◆ The deceased was not attended by a If the death occurs in hospital, the
doctor during the last illness or the coroner will arrange for the examination
doctor treating the deceased had to be carried out by a pathologist other
not seen him or her either after death or than one employed at or connected
within the 14 days before death with that hospital, if a relative asks the
◆ The death was violent or unnatural coroner to do so and if it does not cause
or occurred under suspicious an undue delay.
circumstances. The removal of a body from the
◆ The cause of death is not known or place of death to the mortuary for
is uncertain. post-mortem examination will usually
◆ The death occurred while the patient be paid for by the coroner. The rela-
was undergoing an operation or did tives may choose the funeral director.
not recover from the anaesthetic Consent will have to be given if any
◆ The death was caused by an organs or human tissue need to be kept
industrial disease. once the coroner no longer needs them
◆ The death occurred in prison or in for enquiries.
police custody. However, in some areas a fu-
neral director will be appointed by the
If you want information about a coroner to remove the body from the
death which has been reported to the place of death to the hospital mortuary.
coroner, contact the coroner’s office. The relatives can then choose a funeral
You can get the address director to carry out the funeral, once
from the police the coroner has released the body.
station or, if death If the post-mortem shows the death
was in hospital, was due to natural causes, the coroner
the hospital official may issue a notification known as Pink
dealing with deaths. Form B (form 100) which gives the
cause of death so that the death can be
registered. The coroner usually sends
the form direct to the registrar but may
give it to you to deliver.
If the body is to be cremated the
coroner will give you the Certificate
for Cremation (form 6) which allows
cremation to take place.
Inquest
An inquest is an enquiry into the
medical cause and circumstances of a
death. It is held in public, sometimes
with a jury. It is up to the coroner how
to organise the enquiry in a way to
best serve the public interest and the
interests of the relatives. The coroner
◆ Was violent or unnatural
◆ Was caused by a reportable industrial
disease
◆ Occurred in prison
◆ Remains uncertain after post-mortem
examination
9/8/09 8:20:32 pm
 Coroners hold an inquest in these
circumstances even if the death oc-
curred abroad (and the body is returned
to Britain). If the body is lost (usually
at sea) a coroner can hold an inquest by
order of the Secretary of State if death
is likely to have occurred in or near a
coroner’s jurisdiction.
If an inquest is held, the coroner must
inform the following people:
◆ The married or civil partner of the whose breathing, and hence heartbeat,
deceased
◆ The nearest relative (if different)
and the personal representative (if The body may then be accepted. Bod-
different from above).
Relatives can attend an inquest and
ask questions of witnesses but they may
only ask questions about the medical
cause and circumstances of the death.
It may be important to have a
lawyer to represent you if the death
was caused by a road accident, or an
accident at work, or other circum-
stances which could lead to a claim for
compensation. You cannot get legal aid
for this.
If the enquiries take some time,
ask the coroner to give you a letter
confirming the death. You can use this
letter for social security and National
Insurance purposes.
The coroner may give you an Order
for Burial (form 101) or a Certificate
for Cremation (form 6) so that the
funeral can take place. This may be
done before the inquest is completed,
provided the body is not required for
further examination.
The coroner will also send a Certifi-
cate After Inquest (form 99 (rev)), stat-
ing the cause of death to the registrar.
This allows the death to be registered.
If the Organs or Body are to
be Donated
You will have to act quickly if it
was the wish of the deceased or the
nearest relative to donate the organs
for transplant, or the whole body for
medical teaching purposes.
The usual procedure is to approach
the next of kin to make sure they do not
object to organ donation.
If the death was in a hospital or
similar institution, the head of that in-
stitution is lawfully in possession of the
body. They may honour the deceased’s
request, in writing or orally before two
witnesses, for the body to be given for
medical research, if there is no reason to
think the request withdrawn.
B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY
BT1 010-015 What to do First.indd 13
If the death has to be reported to If the whole body is to be donated
the coroner, the coroner’s consent please contact:
may be necessary before the organs
or body can be donated. A medical HM Inspector of Anatomy
certificate must be issued before Department of Health
any organs can be removed or the Room 630, Wellington House
body used. 133-155 Waterloo Road
It is usual for kidneys, and essential London SE1 8UG
for heart, lungs, liver and pancreas, to Telephone: 020 7972 4551/4342
be removed from donors who have
been certified to be brain stem dead and Consideration will be given to the
place and cause of death, the condi-
are maintained by a ventilator in a tion of the body at the time of death
hospital intensive care unit. and demand in the medical schools.
Kidneys can, very rarely, be removed ies may be refused if there has been a
up to an hour after heart death. Other post-mortem or if any major organs
organs can be removed up to the follow- except the cornea have been removed.
ing times after heart death:
If a Body is to be used for
◆ The corneas (from the eyes) – up to Teaching Purposes
24 hours A body may be kept for medical
◆ Skin – up to 24 hours teaching purposes for up to three
◆ Bone – up to 36 hours years. The medical schools will
◆ Heart valves – up to 72 hours. arrange and pay for a simple funeral,
or the relatives can do this themselves.
The doctor attending will advise on The medical school can advise
procedure. After organ donation, the relatives when the body is available
body is released to the relatives. for funeral. •
Summary of Forms and Certificates
When registering
a death You will usually get a From
If the death is not referred Medical Certificate The doctor
to a coroner
In all cases Formal Notice The doctor
If a baby is stillborn Medical Certificate The doctor of midwife
of Stillbirth
If the death is referred to a The coroner
Coroner but there is no Notification by the Coroner (this is usually sent direct to
Inquest (Pink Form B/form 100) the registrar, but you may
be asked to deliver it)
If there is an inquest and Order for Burial (form 101) The coroner
the body is to be buried
If there is a post-mortem
or an inquest and the body Certificate
(form 6)
for Cremation The coroner
is to be cremated
If the body is to be moved Removal Notice (form 104) The coroner
out of England or Wales
13
9/8/09 8:20:33 pm
 Checklist
W H AT T O D O F I R S T
W H AT T O D O F I R S T …
W e advise you to
not make final
funeral arrange-
ments until you
are sure that the
death does not have to be reported
to the Coroner. Since this may affect
the date when the funeral can be
held. Find out if there is a Will or
pre-paid funeral plan, since this may
give requests and funding for the
funeral arrangements.
If you are to arrange for the
funeral, you are responsible for
paying the bill so first check where
the money will come from and if
there is enough. When selecting
your funeral director make sure that
they can fulfil all your requirements
before making a final decision.
☐ Information
Gather the information needed
for the death certificate at the
funeral home. Parents’ names, social
security number and date of birth
of the deceased, their place of work
and occupation.
☐ Embalming
Consider embalming the body. This
decision will determine the timing of
many decisions you make, as bodies
that are not embalmed have to be
buried sooner.
☐ Clothing
Clothing and jewellery if it is a
traditional burial.
☐ Cremation or Burial
Consider cremation or burial.
☐ Type of burial
Consider the type of burial, if you
have already purchased a plot; bring
the deed with you to the funeral di-
rectors. If you know you have a plot
but do not have the deed in your
14
BT1 010-015 What to do First.indd 14
possession, the funeral director can
check with the cemetery overseer.
Otherwise, a plot will need to be
purchased. If you have chosen a
woodland burial give your funeral
director the details. If you prefer
a vault or mausoleum, a funeral
director will assist with the options
and costs.
☐ Coffin or Casket
Select the coffin or casket which can
be a personal design, wool, wood,
cardboard, metal, willow, bamboo,
banana leaf etc.
☐ Open or Closed casket
Open or closed casket – you can opt
to have the casket open during the
memorial service, in which case ensure
your clergy is aware of your wishes.
☐ Calling hours
Decide on calling hours at the funeral
home, which are normally between
2-4pm or 7-9pm.
☐ Funeral services
You need to consider where and
when the service will be conducted.
You can opt to have the service
before the burial or cremation, or
after the burial or cremation. You
can decide to have the service at
the funeral home, church/temple/
mosque, at the graveside or some
special venue of your choice, prior
to burial.
☐ Seating arrangements
You can decide the seating arrange-
ments and either let your funeral
director know, or get a friend or family
member to organise.
☐ Obituary
Compose the obituary and decide
which newspapers or other pub-
lications will be used to place the
obituary notice.
☐ Flowers
Decide on the type of flower
arrangements to be provided by the
family. You may want to speak to the
relatives about your chosen floral
arrangements, as you will need to
dispose of some of them after the
funeral. It is quite common for you
to nominate charities for donations
and we are pleased to nominate
Breakthrough Breast Cancer, The
Blue Cross and British Legion.
☐ Photographs
Consider setting up a photo album to
remind well wishers and family of the
life of the deceased.
☐ Memorabilia
You may wish to set up reminders that
reflect the interests of the deceased:
football, golf etc.
☐ Eulogies
Decide who will deliver the eulogy. It
can be clergy, a friend or relative or a
combination of both.
☐ Special recognition
Consider any accomplishments of the
deceased which might be political,
scientific, religious, charitable or
athletic.
☐ Memorial cards
These can be purchased from the
funeral home or you can have your
own printed. These memorial cards
normally include a favourite picture
of the deceased and a poem or mes-
sage they were particularly fond of.
These cards are often sent to friends
and family who could not attend
the funeral.
☐ Pall bearers
You normally need between four
to six men, and these can be family
and friends or the funeral home can
arrange people to carry out this duty.
9/8/09 8:20:34 pm
 ☐ Music
You can get generic funeral home
selections or bring favourite music of
the deceased. In some cases you can
organise for your own musicians to
attend and perform.

☐ Transportation
Transportation of the deceased is
usually provided by the funeral direc-
tors, but if you require something
special as shown in this magazine
give the funeral director the contact
details, and he will include this
for you. You also need to consider
transport to the service for close
family and friends.

☐ Grave memorials
A temporary marker may be used
if a permanent one has not been
purchased or engraved yet.

☐ Party/wake
Decide whether there will be a
wake/party to celebrate the life
of the deceased. Consider where
and when to hold this celebration,
check our funeral reception venues
for ideas.

☐ Accommodation
Accommodating out of town
family and friends – you may wish
to assist with travel plans and
airport pick-ups and help with
hotels and lodgings.

Always remember it is you who is

arranging the funeral and ensuring
a fitting tribute to the memory of
someone deeply missed. If you have
any queries or concerns relating
to any services listed within this
magazine, or that a funeral director
is unwilling to provide the exact
products or services requested,
contact Bereavement Today on
Tel: 020 7467 4420. •

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 15

BT1 010-015 What to do First.indd 15 9/8/09 8:20:36 pm

 Registering
R E G I S T E R I N G A D E AT H
When a loved one dies, the death
must be registered. Here, we look
at what you need to know to
complete the task.
What to do first
The death must be registered by the
Registrar of Births, Marriages and
Deaths for the sub-district in which it
occurred. You can find the address in
the directory section of this magazine,
local council, post office or police
station. Check when the registrar will be
available and whether only you need to
go along. It may be that someone other
than you will be needed to give informa-
tion for the death to be registered.
◆ If the death has been referred to the
coroner, it cannot be registered until
the registrar has received
authority from the coroner to do so
(see the section on ‘the coroner’ for
more information).
◆ If the death has not been referred to
the coroner, go to the registrar as soon
as possible.
◆ The death must be registered within
five days (unless the registrar says this
period may be exceeded).
The information for registration may
be given to any registrar in England and
Wales. You will need to attend your cho-
sen registrar’s office to make a declaration
of the particulars of the deceased.
The declaration will then be forward-
ed to the registrar for the sub-district
where the death took place, where it
will be registered. There may be some
delay in certificates being issued as this
cannot be done until the death has
been registered.
16
BT1 016-017 Registering a Death.indd 16
A D E AT H
What happens at the Register Office
When you go to the registrar you should
take all these:
◆ The Medical Certificate of the cause
of death
◆ The deceased’s medical card, if possible
◆ The deceased’s birth and marriage or
civil partnership certificates, if available.
You should tell the registrar:
◆ The date and place of death
◆ The deceased’s last (usual) address
◆ The deceased’s first names and
surname (and the maiden name
where appropriate)
◆ The deceased’s date and place of birth
(town and county if born in the UK,
and country if born abroad)
◆ The deceased’s occupation and the
name and occupation of their spouse
or civil partner
◆ Whether the deceased was getting a
pension or allowance from public funds
◆ If the deceased was married or had
formed a civil partnership, the date of
birth of the surviving widow, widower
or surviving civil partner.
The registrar who registers the death
will give you:
◆ A Certificate for Burial or Cremation
(known as the Green Form) unless
the coroner has given you an Order
for Burial (form 101) or a Certificate
for Cremation (form 6). These give
permission for the body to be buried
or for an application for cremation
to be made. It should be taken to the
funeral director so that the funeral can
be held.
◆ A Certificate of Registration of Death
(form BD8). This is for social security
purposes only. Read the information
on the back of the certificate. If any
of it applies, fill in the certificate and
hand it to your Jobcentre, Jobcentre
Plus or social security office.
Leaflets about bereavement benefits and
income tax for widows/widowers/surviv-
ing civil partners, where appropriate.
If you go to a register office other than
the one for the sub-district where the
death took place, the above certificates
will be sent to you.
The Death Certificate
The Death Certificate is a certified
copy of the entry in the death register.
The registrar can let you have a Death
Certificate if you want one, but you will
have to pay a fee. You may need a Death
Certificate for the will and for any pen-
sion claims, insurance policies, savings
bank certificates and premium bonds.
You may wish to ask for several copies
of the Death Certificate straight away as
the price increases if you need one later
on. The registrar may not be able to give
you them all straight away and may ask
you to call back or ask for postage so
that they may be sent to you.
9/8/09 8:20:58 pm
 If you go to a register office other than
the one for sub-district where the death
took place the required certificates may
be ordered at the same time and will be
sent to you.
Stillborn Babies
Registration
If a baby is stillborn (born after the
24th week of pregnancy) you will
be given a Medical Certificate of
Stillbirth signed by the midwife or
doctor, which you should give to
the registrar. If no doctor or mid-
wife was present and no doctor or
midwife has examined the body, you
must sign form 35 which the registrar
will give you.
The registrar will give you a
Certificate for Burial or Cremation
and a Certificate of Registration of
Stillbirth. You can ask to have a first
name entered for a stillborn baby.
The registrar will write the baby’s
name on these certificates if the name
is recorded in the register. It is also
possible to get certified copies of the
entry of stillbirth.
The information for registration of a
stillbirth may be given to any registrar
in England and Wales. The procedure is
similar to that for deaths.
Funeral
The hospital may offer to arrange
a burial or cremation, free of charge,
for every stillborn baby, whether
born in hospital or at home. You
should discuss the funeral arrange-
ments with the hospital staff or
midwife. If you accept the offer,
the baby will be cremated or
buried after a simple ceremony.
The parents can, if they wish,
arrange the funeral themselves.
Maternity Benefits
If your baby was stillborn after 24
weeks of pregnancy you may still be
entitled to Statutory Maternity Pay
or Maternity Allowance. For more
information see leaflet BC1 Babies
and children or, for more detailed
information see NI17A A guide to
maternity benefits on the DWP website:
www.dwp.gov.uk/advisers/ni17a •

SUMMARY OF FORMS AND CERTIFICATES

When registering You will usually get a From
a death

If no coroner has issued a Certificate for Burial or

Certificate 6 for Crema- Cremation (the Green Form) The registrar
tion or a Burial Order

If Department for Work

and Pensions (this
includes Jobcentre, Certificate of Registration The registrar
Jobcentre Plus or social of Death (form BD8)
security) needs to know
about the death
If you need evidence
for obtaining probate,
pensions claims, insurance Death Certificate (s) The registrar
policies, savings certifi-
cates and premium bonds

If a baby is stillborn Certificate of Registration The registrar

of Stillbirth

If a baby is stillborn – Certificate for Burial or

for burial or cremation Cremation (the White form) The registrar

17

BT1 016-017 Registering a Death.indd 17 9/8/09 8:20:59 pm

 Options
Funeral Options
Funeral
E ver since John Peel’s
favourite punk song,
Teenage Kicks by The
Undertones, was heard
blasting out of St
Edmundsbury Cathedral on the TV
news back in 2004, the era of the
designer funeral has been creeping up
on us. The lyrics have since been carved
onto his tombstone. More recently we
saw George Melly’s cardboard coffin on
its final journey, covered in the graffiti
of his mourners’ final messages and
accompanied by a marching jazz band
made up of all of his old mates.
Increasingly, people are planning their
own ‘final party’ before they die, espe-
cially, in this iPod play-list-for-every-
occasion age, where music is concerned.
For me, last year was a particularly bad
one in terms of loss. I watched one
cousin go into the flames (at an Angli-
can ceremony) accompanied by Queen’s
Don’t Stop Me Now and heard another
cousin sing an Argentinian tango song
to us at her own funeral. This was a
non-religious service that she’d carefully
planned down to the nibbles and dips,
conducted in the crematorium chapel
by a family friend.
The Personal Touch
If there are no specific directions in the
will, arranging a suitable service may
at first feel like an additional pressure.
But according to The Natural Death
Centre, ‘Almost all those who have tried
it advocate looking after at least some
aspects of the funeral of a friend or
relative oneself, with the assistance of
family and friends, rather than depend-
ing entirely on funeral directors.’
18
BT1 018-019 Funeral Options.indd 18
From traditional ceremonies to jazz bands and
colourful coffins, the choice in funeral options has
grown enormously in the last few years.
Stephanie Zia takes a look at what is available.
Church funerals aren’t just for church goers
Church Services
Churches are a lot more flexible
than they used to be and most of the
information you need is freely available
online. ‘Not everyone knows that they
have the right to a funeral in their parish
church, even if they and the dead person
have not been churchgoers. Nor do
practising Christians always realise that
they can have a Communion service as
part of the funeral,’ says the Church of
England Anglican organisation. Guest
vicars who perhaps have known the
deceased at an earlier time in their lives
can be invited from other parishes and
live music and rock music can often be
incorporated. For what to expect at the
service, see www.cofe.anglican.org.
The Roman Catholic Rite of Christian
Burial is a mass. Only Catholics will
be able to take communion but all
mourners will be warmly welcomed and
invited to go up for a blessing. A sung
mass can be arranged for a later date.
Cremation Services
The Natural Death Centre
(www.naturaldeath.org.uk / 0871
288 2098) is well-known for advis-
ing on every aspect of planning an
environmentally-friendly funeral but
they also provide valuable information
on all types of funeral options.
At a time when local authorities are
beginning to sell their crematoriums
off to the larger funeral firms (nearly
9% are now in private hands) they
closely monitor the charges and services
provided. They list the crematoriums
that allow 45 minute services, rather
than the standard 30 minutes, and the
few that allow 60 minutes. Perhaps,
more importantly, they advise how to
purchase extra time at a reduced price to
avoid the ‘conveyor belt’, rushed feeling
that some crematorium services can
leave you with.
Simple Funerals
They also advise on how to keep the
costs down. ‘Funeral directors are often
not very keen to tell the public about
their low end funerals. You may have
to use the magic words ‘Simple funeral
as specified in your funeral code’ to be
told their no frills low price (which, for
example, probably includes a hearse, but
no following limousine).
You’ll also find advice on everything
from cardboard coffins (almost every
crematorium accepts them and there are
currently seven models to choose from)
to the legalities of burials in a woodland
or at home. Woodland burial parks now
have three locations close to the Greater
London region and can be contacted on
01992 523863.
9/8/09 8:21:20 pm
 Humanist Service
If you do choose to use a funeral direc-
tor, you’ll almost certainly be offered the
option of a Humanist celebrant instead
of a vicar or priest. ‘It’s simply more
appropriate for those who neither lived
according to religious principles, nor
accepted religious views of life or death,’
says the British Humanist Association
(www.humanism.org.uk / 020 7079 3580).
‘A Humanist funeral or memorial
ceremony recognises no ‘after-life’, but
instead uniquely and affectionately
celebrates the life of the person who has
died. Proper tribute is paid to them, to
the life they lived, the connections they
made and have left behind. Nothing in a
Humanist funeral or memorial ceremony
should be offensive to those who are
religious. It will focus sincerely and
affectionately on the person who has died.’
The celebrant will visit you at home to
discuss all the arrangements and will ask
about the life of the deceased so that a short
eulogy can be prepared. This can be written
and read by a relative or close friend, or
by the celebrant, if preferred. In place of
prayers, there may be a few minutes’ silence
and a poem, chosen by you, or they can
advise. They will ask for three pieces of
music to be provided on CD. One is to be
played as the mourners are assembling,
“ W o o d l a n d b u r i a l pa r k s n o w
h av e t h r e e l o c at i o n s c l o s e t o
t h e G r e at e r L o n d o n r e g i o n ”
one piece at the committal and one piece
(often livelier) as the mourners are leaving
the cemetery chapel. If you don’t know
anybody who can download to CD from
iTunes or are confused by the amount of
choice available, www.funeral-music.co.uk
sells a CD of appropriate music and has an
MP3 jukebox where you can listen online.
You can also get ideas here for readings and
book live musicians.
Woodland Burials
Although space in a local cemetery
should be available, it may be worth
considering a woodland burial as an
environmentally friendly alternative.
Woodland burials can work out
cheaper and there is a guarantee that the
woodland burial grounds will remain as
such in perpetuity, unlike most cemeteries
that may be reused or developed.
Woodland Burial Parks state that:
‘Our Woodland burial parks provide a
BEREAVE M ENT TODAY
BT1 018-019 Funeral Options.indd 19
very positive way in which to put
life back into the environment
following a death. The planet needs
more broadleaf trees to help stem the
deterioration of our atmosphere. It
also needs more habitats for our wild-
life and insects and more undisturbed
land for our rapidly disappearing flora
and fauna’.
Woodland Burial Parks offer both
full interment and the interment of
ashes after a cremation. Family and
friends can choose either a religious
or secular burial, making the service
as formal or informal as they wish. A
hardwood plaque inscribed with the
deceased’s name and lifespan will mark
the grave – this can be replaced when
it biodegrades – and a native broadleaf
tree will be planted.
‘Each part of the woodland is man-
aged in accordance with a management
scheme approved by Wildlife Trusts
and the local authority to ensure its
development for the benefit of all
wildlife and nature,’ says Woodland
Burial Parks. They also offer unrestricted
access for visitors so that loved ones can
visit the woodland whenever they wish.
Telephone 01992 523 863 or visit
www.woodlandburialparks.co.uk for
more information.
Woodland burials are environmentally-friendly
Scattering Ashes
Six out of ten funerals are cremations.
‘Ashes can generally be scattered
anywhere,’ says the Citizen’s Advice
Bureau, ‘but if you wish to scatter
ashes on private land, you should
get consent from the landowner.
Although UK law allows ashes to be
taken abroad, many countries have
strict rules on the importation of
ashes and it is important to check
before travelling.’
They can be scattered in gardens of
rest at the crematorium or buried in a
small plot on which you can place an
engraved stone. If the deceased has
a special connection with a village
or church from their past, you can
get permission for them to be buried
there. This could happen soon after
the funeral or months later. You may
need time to decide on what’s to be
put on the stone, or until distant
relatives and friends can schedule
attendance. The funeral director will
keep ashes for a certain time, but after
a month or so they may have to be
kept by the family.
The Citizen’s Advice Bureau says that,
‘Although there is no law preventing
burials on private land (including a
garden) anyone wishing to do this
should contact their local authority,
who may issue a certificate confirming
that the burial is lawful,’ Their
‘What To Do After A Death’ page
(www.adviceguide.org.uk) includes
advice on what to do in unusual circum-
stances, such as if somebody dies abroad
or without leaving enough funds to
pay for a funeral. It also covers miscar-
riages and stillbirths, organ donations,
coroners, inquests and other legalities.
Burial at Sea
Burial at sea can be arranged by the
family, though be aware there are only
two places in the UK where this can
be done: Newhaven, Sussex or The
Needles in the Isle of Wight. When the
death is registered, ask for a Coroner’s
Out of England form. You can then
get a free licence from DEFRA, the
Department for Environmental Food
and Rural Affairs (www.defra.gov.uk/
08459 33 55 77). The expansion of
funeral options may seem daunting,
but it’s best to keep in mind what
sort of person the deceased was and
what you think they would have liked,
ensuring whatever type of ceremony
you choose it will be a celebration of
your loved one’s life. •
19
9/8/09 8:21:23 pm
 Natural
A N AT U R A L E N D I N G
Wendy Richard in EastEnders © BBC
U ntil recently, few people
have been aware of how
unique and individual
they can make a funeral,
and some may even have
felt a little helpless or awkward asking
the question at all.
But better ways to organise a greener
burial are springing up every day, with
really meaningful and eco friendly oppor-
tunities at hand. And more and more of
us are taking note of how to go about it.
Perhaps part of the reason behind
this has been the recent publicity over
celebrities like EastEnders’ Wendy Rich-
ard. Wendy died following a long battle
with cancer, and revealed to the Sunday
Express in October 2008 that she was
already planning her own funeral.
Speaking about Wendy’s death, BBC
Director General, Mark Thompson,
said: "I am enormously saddened by the
news of Wendy's death. Her countless
BBC appearances across decades, espe-
cially as Miss Brahms in ‘Are You Being
Served?’ and then as Pauline Fowler in
EastEnders, lit up living rooms for mil-
lions of British families who regarded
her as a member of the family. That was
an enormous achievement.”
Maybe her connection with the British
public has led to the changes, with more
of us now considering similar options fol-
lowing her example. When the time came,
the actress chose to opt for an eco coffin,
and since then many are thinking about
improving ways to plan bereavement.
20
BT1 020-021 A Natural Ending.indd 20
ENDING
Every funeral is a tragic experience, but
environmentally-friendly options can add
both beauty and sincerity to the day.
Giles Crosse learns more.
There are different reasons why
different people look at the choices.
For lifelong environmentalists, this
can be the obvious way to maintain
and respect their deep held beliefs. For
others, just thinking about the environ-
ment in this most basic of ways adds
meaning to a service.
Hazel Selene is a Designer and Man-
aging Director for eco funeral company
Ecopod, so she has a good idea of why
greener burials are becoming a more
regular sight:
“ T h e N at u r a l D e at h C e nt r e w i l l
p o i nt a n y e n q u i r e r s i n t h e r i g h t
d i r e ct i o n t o f i nd a f r i e nd ly
g r e e n u nd e rta k e r ”
“There are probably several reasons
why people are wanting to do something
creative or to take more responsibility.”
she says.
“I think that people are only just recently
beginning to realise that in fact the whole
funeral situation is actually pretty much
wide open and one does not in fact have to
use the services of a funeral director.”
She thinks there are plenty of ways
people can gain more control over the
choices they make, and create a much
better and more touching service at the
same time.
“Hence the rise in woodland burials
and DIY funerals.” she explains.
“I suggest that anyone wanting to
plan in advance gets in touch with the
Natural Death Centre. They are a mine
of information in every aspect of eco
funerals and can also provide living wills.”
Hazel says she doesn’t know whether
people are choosing the options for
green or emotional reasons, or maybe a
combination of both.
“I don't really think you can sepa-
rate the two. Traditional chipboard
coffins are full of the most poisonous
substances. So as more of us become
aware of the fragility of our eco
systems, we certainly don't want to
bow out leaving a big carbon footprint
as our last act.”
Sadly, it’s not just coffins that can
harm the environment. Government of-
ficials have put rules in place to control
cremation too, as the process releases
harmful mercury into the atmosphere.
“The Natural Death Centre will point
any enquirers in the right direction
to find a friendly green undertaker.”
9/8/09 8:21:45 pm
 An Ecopod in white
continues Hazel. “They have lists for
undertakers throughout the U.K.”
There are other potential options like
woodland burials. These offer an alterna-
tive to traditional funerals, cemeteries and
graveyards. Woodlands of Remembrance
can be beautiful places to remember a
loved one, and also add positive ideas of
renewal of life. “Woodland burial sites are
springing up everywhere.” agrees Hazel.
Rosie Inman-Cook manages the
Natural Death Centre. She also reckons
there are lots of different sentiments
behind going green:
“Some consider the negative impact
of cremation: fossil fuels, or pollution
like mercury. Folk want to leave a living
memorial rather than a stone. I suppose
also it is just that now they can!
“The more people who attend an alterna-
tive funeral the more want it, and the more
who hear about it the more request it.
“There is no question that they are much
more positive, better send offs than conven-
tional choices. Most sites are reporting a 30
per cent growth per year, and that goes for
the green coffin producers too.”
Rosie thinks the most important
thing people can do is to talk about their
choices when they are fit and well; like
a secure plot in a green burial site. For
a family to approach the subject with a
loved one who is ill is so difficult.  of Natural Burial Grounds (ANBG).
“Unless they have been given a termi-
nal prognosis most family members are
busy encouraging the sick person to get
better.” she says.
B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY
BT1 020-021 A Natural Ending.indd 21
“When a death has happened our
advice is to seek a flexible funeral
director who doesn't want you to fit
neatly into his 'packages', sell you things
you don't want, for his convenience, and
will allow the family to take part in the
process and get involved.”
Most importantly, Rosie recom-
mends people decide as a family what
they do or don’t want, then get a friend
to phone around. This can ease the
load. Newly bereaved people tend to shut
down and not take things in; they are so
bombarded with decisions and new and
unfamiliar situations, let alone shock.
“There is the opportunity to be more
hands on.” she continues. “Most natural
burial sites allow families to do every-
thing themselves and will supervise and
instruct. This means that families can
be there doing the last things for their
loved one, not an anonymous team.  friendly to some extent within 20 years”
“This is still only taken up by a small
percentage, but those that do so are
always so glad that they did.”
For most families, the hope is for
an individual, unrushed, personal and
positive farewell. Associations like The
National Society of Allied & Indepen-
dent Funeral Directors (SAIF) can offer
advice on reputable green options. It’s
also worth contacting The Association
In practical terms, eco coffins tend to
be unvarnished and avoid hardwoods
from the rain forest. “The reason I
designed and eventually went into
manufacture with the Ecopod 15 years
ago was because when I investigated the
funeral industry I realised how toxic it
was.” explains Hazel.
“I wanted to offer something that was
different to the traditional coffin and
also to make it from a material where
trees would not have to be destroyed.
Hence the colourful paper pulp Ecopod.
“I have had to put it through all the
regulatory requirements for strength
and safety. It is suitable for burial and
also cremation.”
Overall Rosie thinks eco funerals will
only become more and more common:
“Well at 30 per cent growth per year,
with many municipals providing green
sections of cemeteries, even the most
resistant will join them.” she says. 
“It is not a fad and is here to stay.  I would
see a situation where the majority are eco
Describing Wendy Richard, John
Yorke, Head Of Drama Production &
New Talent, explained: “It is impossible
to overstate Wendy's contribution to
EastEnders, for 22 years, whether she
was bemoaning Arthur's bad luck,
cursing her children's wayward nature or
reminding us all once again that it was
'all about family'.
“It was impossible for anyone to
mention EastEnders without the iconic
image of Pauline coming to mind.”
As eco funerals too seem to be family
centred, perhaps one day they will be as
familiar as Wendy Richard was. •
21
9/8/09 8:21:49 pm
 WOODLAND BURIAL GROUNDS
Woodland
BURIAL GROUNDS
Plots in traditional graveyards are not to everyone’s taste and
can be hard to come by. Larissa Khatchik looks at the green
alternative provided by natural woodland burial grounds.
F or a natural alternative to the
traditional burial ceremony,
green funerals at woodland
sites are the way forward.
These eco-friendly grounds
are located in beautiful, natural English
woodlands. They not only provide a
unique and fitting way to commemo-
“ T h e s e e c o - f ri e ndly grounds
ar e lo c at e d in b e auti f ul ,
natural Englis h w oodlands ”
rate your loved one, but are also kind
to the environment.
A green funeral is a natural choice
where you can create a dignified and re-
spectful burial in a natural environment.
There are several natural burial grounds
in and around London, each offering a
beautiful site and stunning views.
22
BT1 022-023 Woodland Burial Grounds.indd 22
In order to uphold the concept of being
green, biodegradable materials must be
used for the coffin, such as willow or
bamboo. And as a replacement to the
traditional headstone you can mark your
loved one’s resting place with a wooden
plaque. All the materials used must be able
to be recycled to complete the circle of life.
To ensure that your woodland burial
meets the ecological requirements your
funeral director or the burial ground can ad-
vise you what clothes the deceased should
wear and what can be left around the grave
at the time of the funeral ceremony.
No chemicals are used on the ground.
Nature will be left to take its course, al-
lowing everything to return to the ground
naturally. This will promote plant growth
and encourage wildlife to develop.
The woodland or land that is used is
protected and can be visited by you, friends
and family, as well as generations to come.
Most natural burial sites allow you to
hold a ceremony or a memorial service and
either they or a funeral director can advise
you on how to create a meaningful and
personal day to honour your loved one.
You may want to consider using re-
cycled paper for the order of ceremony.
And for the refreshments you could opt
for organic, locally sourced food.
Another positive aspect is that these
woodland burial grounds can tailor to
different faiths and their religious needs.
Although you are not required to hold a
ceremony, the burial grounds are avail-
able to all faiths and can often be blessed
at the request of the family. This means
these beautiful, natural, woodland
grounds are available to all. •
9/8/09 8:22:15 pm
 CONTACT INFORMATION
Epping Forest Burial Park
Epping, Essex
Tel: 01992 523863
Email:
eppingenquiries@woodlandburialparks.co.uk
Website: www.woodlandburialparks.co.uk
Herongate Wood
Brentwood, Essex
Tel: 01245 284985
Email: enquiries@woodlandwildlife.co.uk
Website: www.green-burial.co.uk
Oakfield Wood
Manningtree, Essex
Tel: 01255 880040
Email: info@woodlandburials.co.uk
Website: www.woodlandburials.co.uk
Woodland Burial Ground,
West Drayton, Middlesex
Tel: 01895 250416
Email: dbryant@hillingdon.gov.uk
Website: www.hillingdon.gov.uk
Gaston Gate
Guildford, Surrey
Tel: 01255 880040
Email: info@woodlandburials.co.uk
Website: www.woodlandburials.co.uk
East Sheen Cemetery
Richmond, Surrey
Website: www.richmond.gov.uk
Tel: 020 8876 4511
Colney Woodland Burial Park
Norwich
Tel: 01603 811770
Chiltern Woodland Burial Park
Bucks
Tel: 01294 872158

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 23

BT1 022-023 Woodland Burial Grounds.indd 23 9/8/09 8:22:27 pm

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BT1 024 Stationery.indd 24 9/8/09 8:22:55 pm

 Ceremony
PLAnning the
Words, music and pictures are all valuable
components when celebrating a life that has passed.
Jacqui Hazell looks at what to include
when planning the order of ceremony.
W hether or not
you’re a fan of
Michael Jackson,
it’s hard not to be
impressed by the
thought and detail that went into his
memorial service at the Staples Center
in LA. A two hour extravaganza beamed
live around the world to a billion people,
it included many personal anecdotes by
his famous friends, as well as live musical
performances and particularly moving
words from his young daughter, Paris.
Personal is best when it comes
to designing a special ceremony to
commemorate the loss of a loved one.
Friends and relatives want to remem-
ber the very essence of the person
they’ve lost and that takes some
careful thought and planning.
It may seem hard to have to think
about the ceremony and what you
want to include but it can also help.
Designing a special ceremony just
the way you want it is a good way to
connect with life and friends and family
at a time when your natural tendency
may be to isolate yourself.
The process of choosing the words,
a favourite poem, music and perhaps
some photographs may be daunting
but think of it as a chance to honour
the person you love. Your choice of
words and songs will help others and it
may very well help you start to face up
to your own loss. Acceptance of what
has happened is one of the stages of
grief and it can be hard to reach this in
the initial days after someone has died
when you may be feeling shocked and
numb. Planning the ceremony should
help you start to come to terms with
your loss.
B E R E AV E M ENT T O D AY
BT1 025 Planning the Ceremony.indd 25
Why not get children involved. They
can contribute to the choice of songs.
Have a discussion about your loved
one’s favourite music, and older children
may even want to write something
either for the ceremony itself or just to
be included in the ceremony sheet.
The Flow of the Ceremony
The funeral director will be responsible
for the pace of the ceremony. They will
be more than happy to follow your guid-
ance and will encourage as much input
from you as possible. The more they
know about the deceased the easier it is
for them to lead the music and tributes
and guide the mourners to celebrate
your loved one’s life.
PLANNING THE CEREMONY
A printed ceremony sheet will allow
mourners to follow the ceremony,
join in with any hymns and appreci-
ate any poems with more insight.
Include:
◆ Music to enter
◆ Opening words
◆ Words on life and death
◆ The eulogy
◆ The committal
◆ Closing words
◆ Music to leave
A ceremony sheet can be as person-
alised as you like. You may like to put a
photograph of the deceased on the front
cover or perhaps a reference to their
favourite hobby or a much loved garden.
Include any poems that are to be
recited so that mourners can follow the
words and reflect. And the words to
any hymns will allow people to join in.
A ceremony sheet is also a lovely
keepsake for people and it is worth
sending a copy to any friends or relatives
who are unable to attend..
Ceremony sheet suggestions
◆ Select a favourite photograph of the
deceased for the front cover – it can be
one from their younger days or involve
a favourite hobby.
◆ Include any poems that are to be
read out.
◆ Include hymns to be sung.
◆ Name musical pieces and who
is playing.
◆ Invite people to the gathering
afterwards and give details.
◆ Include contacts for any preferred
charities to whom donations can
be made. •
25
9/8/09 8:23:26 pm
 With a
FUNERAL VENUES
M E M O R I A L S E RV I C E S
While the traditional funeral held at a church or crematorium is still the most
popular choice of memorial service, the options have greatly increased with
everything from woodland burials to castle and country house celebrations.
Stephanie Zia looks at what is currently on offer.
A rranging a funeral in a
Christian community
used to be a matter of
your local funeral director
asking if the deceased was
Catholic or C of E and putting you in
touch with the relevant priest. Between
them they’d guide you through the long
but well-trodden list of arrangements.
This is still largely the case, with the
welcome addition of the Humanist,
non-religious, service now offered as
routine. And whilst there’s no obligation
at all to deviate from this undoubtedly
comforting pattern at such a distressing
time, there’s no getting away from the
fact that the choice of venues for funerals,
both secular and religious, is becoming as
diverse and creative as it is for weddings.
Anything goes
A building or piece of land does not
have to be especially consecrated or
licensed for a funeral and, in non-reli-
gious services; the celebrant does not
have to be registered. Apart from the
actual cremation, specifically relevant
or beautiful venues or locations can be
included at any stage of the proceedings.
Traditional
To clarify, the most traditional procedure
is for the chief mourners to meet at the
funeral director’s address. From there they
will travel in limousine procession behind
the hearse to the church. If burial is to be
in the churchyard it will take place as part
of the service. If it is to be in the municipal
graveyard or, as in most cases, the body is
26
BT1 026-027 Memorial Services.indd 26
to be cremated; mourners will drive in a
procession of cars behind the hearse to the
crematorium/graveyard. Here there will
be more prayers at the graveside or prayers
and music at the committal. Alternatively,
the whole religious service may be held in
the crematorium chapel.
Humanist
Humanist funerals or those arranged by
family and friends (of any denomination or
completely secular) usually take place in the
crematorium chapel. The ashes will go to
the funeral director and the mourners will
go to a wake, either a buffet or a sit-down
meal. At a later date, anything from a few
days to several months, even years, the
ashes will be buried or scattered in the gar-
den of remembrance, or taken by the family
to be scattered elsewhere, most commonly
at the deceased’s favourite beauty spot.
Eco-friendly
Green Endings (www.greenendings.co.uk
/ 020 7424 0345) is one of a growing
number of funeral directors specialising
in environmentally-friendly funerals.
‘Our aim is to ensure that each funeral
reflects your feelings as well as the life
of the person who has died, and their
culture, their personality and their
achievements. Arrangements can be
made for any style of funeral, from a
woodland burial using a cardboard cof-
fin to a more traditional religious service
and cremation. We can incorporate any
beliefs, whether religious or secular, into
a service of your choice. We have a wide
experience of all cultures and faiths.’
Clacton-on-Sea's Woodland Burials
(www.woodlandburials.co.uk / 01255
880040) plants a native, broadleaf tree
for every full or ashes internment and
supply a hardwood, inscribed plaque
to mark the grave (replaced when it
biodegrades). The choice of formal or
informal service, religious, secular or no
ceremony at all is left to the family. For
details of local woodland burial sites,
contact your local council or The Natural
Death Centre (www.naturaldeath.org.uk
/ 0871 288 2098).
Scattering Ashes
Ashes can be scattered anywhere, and
permission is only needed if the land
is private. Most national parks and
famous beauty spots have published
guidelines. The Woodland Trust
(www.woodland-trust.org.uk / 0800
0269650), for example, allows ashes
to be scattered in their woods but they
ask you not to hold any kind of formal
ceremony in the wood and not to dis-
turb the ground in any way. For as little
as £10 you can dedicate a tree in one of
their woods in memory of a loved one.
Unusual Requests
As more and more people are opting to
arrange their funeral ceremonies before
they die, funeral directors are becoming
increasingly used to hearing unusual
requests and some even specialise in them.
‘We have arranged so many funerals that
it is hard to say which is the most unusual,’
says Heaven on Earth (www.freespace.
virgin.net/heaven.earth / 01179 264999).
9/8/09 8:23:54 pm
 Difference
‘We have buried wizards with their
wands, spells and all and cremated
Buddhists with chanting, incense and
a strewing of flowers. On one occasion
the committal was timed to coincide
with an explosion of kazoos, whistles
and party poppers and the releasing of
hundreds of balloons. On another the
coffin disappeared to Welsh miners
singing 'The Red Flag'.’
You can now arrange anything from a
gentle woodland service to blasting the
ashes into space. We have negotiated
with hotels and venues for coffin access
so that the whole ceremony can be held
in a beautiful setting. ‘The proprietors of
“YOU CAN NOW ARRANGE ANYTHING
F R O M A G E N T L E W O O D L A N D S E RV I C E
TO B L A S T I N G T H E A S H E S I N TO S PA C E ”
all the venues we have listed agree that
the funeral celebration, including the
coffin, can be held at the locations we
describe. This means the celebration can
be highly individual, creative and per-
sonal, designed to a specific theme and
tailored accordingly. A civil celebrant
may conduct the funeral if you wish.’
Venues include the Eltham Palace,
Wellington Arch, Pewterers’ Hall, and
Old Hall – a 15th Century house at
Sausthorpe, Lincolnshire, where the
ceremony can be held either in the
beautiful gardens or in the Music Room.
For sports enthusiasts there’s the Dukes
B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY
BT1 026-027 Memorial Services.indd 27
Meadows Golf Club and Kent County
Cricket Club, where ashes can be
scattered in the grounds, Sandown Race
Course where a horse-drawn hearse can
be driven down the six furlongs to the
winning post and ashes scattered on the
course, or Chelsea football club with
ashes buried under the pitch.
If you are looking for a venue for a wake,
check the Bereavement Today funeral
reception venues’ directory where you
will find a diverse and interesting choice
of venues. You can select online from
a wide range of venues from art galler-
ies to zoos. As they are funded by the
hotel and corporate facility venues www.
jigsawconferences.co.uk (0800 158 4400)
offer their assistance to you at no cost.
Other agencies offering interesting venues
for hire include www.funkyvenues.com
(020 7735 9263) – the top of the Gherkin
office building for a London lover, or Tate
Modern for an art lover perhaps – and
www.click4venues.com (01580 715151).
Country house send offs
plus fireworks
It’s a sad fact that many families only
come together from great distances at the
time of death. A funeral will sometimes
be followed later by a memorial service
or dedicated mass. Those who don’t
belong to any religion who want to come
together to celebrate the life of a loved
one are increasingly choosing to make
up their own memorial events. One way
of doing this is to hire an exclusive-use
venue. www.historic-uk.com is just
one of the many online agencies who
provide private and corporate country
house hire, for a day or a weekend, with
or without catering.
A company who can perfectly
combine a memorial gathering like
this with a, literal, send-off for the
loved one is Heavens Above Fireworks
(www.heavensabovefireworks.com
/ 01992 578993) whose speciality is
incorporating the ashes into a firework
display. ‘Our aim is to match the event
and fireworks display as closely as
possible to the client’s personality and
wishes. Displays can be synchronized to
favourite music pieces and/or supported
by additional features.’ They can also
arrange for a number of rockets (or other
fireworks) to be modified to contain
ashes so that you can let them off yourself
at a location of your choosing. •
27
9/8/09 8:24:03 pm
 F U N E R A L T R A N S P O R TAT I O N

T hroughout the centuries,

the deceased person’s
journey to their resting
stretchers, and later, more sophisticated
wheeled versions. These gradually evolved
into horse-drawn hearses, often glass-
‘All our funerals include a hearse and one
limousine,’ says Robert Lodge of Lodge
Brothers, Funeral Directors in South West

Transport
place has always been an
important symbolic as well
as practical element of the process of the
final farewell. Methods of transporting a
body have evolved from the use of a basic
slab of wood, the shrouded corpse bal-
anced on top, in times before even coffins
were utilized; through to hand-drawn
biers, the early models like simple wooden
sided and ornate, with black velvet
curtains and polished brass fittings – for
those families rich enough to afford such
opulence for their dearly departed.
These days, the luxury limousine
hearse is the most common method
of transport for the coffin in a funeral
procession, regardless of the social
status of the deceased.
London, Middlesex and Surrey for over
200 years. ‘Barrow boy or barrister, we treat
everyone the same. We always try to give
the family exactly what they want.’
This includes doing their utmost,
as all good funeral directors will, to
accommodate more unusual requests
for funeral transport. ‘Once we did a
funeral where the family wanted the

From hearses to motorbikes with side-cars, Louise Voss

looks at the current options in funeral transport.

ARRANGEMENTS

Daimler hearse in ‘bubble gum’ pink contact

Greens Carriage Master on Tel: 020 8695 9585
or give details to your funeral director

28

BT1 028-030 Funeral Transportation.indd 28 9/8/09 8:24:27 pm

 coffin brought to the cemetery in a tiny
six-seater boat down the Thames from
Sunbury to Mortlake – just myself, the
deceased, and his close family,’ recalls
Mr. Lodge. ‘It was beautiful: really
restful and calm, and so much nicer than
having to go through heavy traffic.’
Respect
The cortege itself is the public face of the
funeral, and of course is most often seen
on the road rather than the river. In our
fast-paced road-rage-prone society, motor-
ists and pedestrians alike will still usually
treat a funeral procession with appropriate
amounts of respect and patience….
Usually, but not always: many funeral
directors have wry stories to tell of being
sworn at, cut up by other motorists, not
let out at junctions – even getting parking
tickets on their hearses or limousines
when they stop to collect the family! it only costs about £30 less not to take
Hearses can also occasionally be used
to pick up the remains of the deceased
upon notification by the family of a death
– known in the trade as the ‘First Call’
vehicle. However, this is less common
these days, as funeral directors prefer to
keep the hearses for use at funerals only,
Horse-drawn carriages available in black and
white from T Cribb & Sons ◆ Tel 020 7476 1855
or give details to your funeral director
B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY
BT1 028-030 Funeral Transportation.indd 29
Beetle Drive Uk Ltd's VW air-cooled hearse
and funeral car fleet ◆ Tel: 01827 709067 or give
details to your funeral director
Alpha 4x4 Funerals Land Rover Hearse and
Limousine service ◆ Tel: 01234 720936 or give
details to your funeral director
and it is now more common to use a
minivan or private black ambulance as
their First Call vehicle (the cost of this
too is fully included in the funeral price).
What to expect
On the day of the funeral, the hearse
containing the deceased, plus the empty
limousine, arrives at the family’s house to
collect close family and transport them to
the cemetery or church. This used to be
for the practical reason that most people
didn’t own their own car, but these days
it has become a preference rather than
a necessity. About eighty per cent of
people choose to travel to the cemetery
by limousine – although there is abso-
lutely no stigma attached to mourners
arriving at the funeral venue under their
own steam should they so wish. It’s not a
huge money saver to do this either, since
advantage of the limo (to put this into
context, the average cost of a funeral in
the UK in 2009 is around £2000).
The drive itself can also provide a few
moments of calm preparation for the
emotion of the imminent funeral, and
a chance for close family to have a little
29
9/8/09 8:24:37 pm
 F U N E R A L T R A N S P O R TAT I O N
time together on what is likely to be a
very hectic and tiring day. Although,
if a family do choose to be picked up
by limousine, it is important for them
to carefully consider the logistics and
‘politics’ of the journey – in the case of
a large extended family, will Uncle Jim
be offended if he doesn’t get to travel in
the first car when Uncle Pete has been
invited to do so?
Traditionally the hierarchy of the
cortege goes as follows: the hearse
containing the coffin, with the flowers
transported on the hearse roof (a ‘floral
car’ used to follow behind, but these days
these are rare, reserved usually just for a
celebrity or a traveller funeral); then the
limousine transporting close family, and,
finally, another two or three cars’ worth
of other relatives and friends.
Unusual Transport
There are other funeral transport
options available, for those to whom
the idea of the standard black hearse
does not appeal; and in these days
of more personalised funerals, this is
increasingly common. You could hire
a Land Rover to transport the coffin, a
Motorcycle Funerals Ltd provide professional
motorcycle and sidecar hearses, purpose built
to protect the coffin from rain. Perfect for
motorcycle enthusiasts ◆ Tel: 0845 375 2106 or
give details to your funeral director
30
BT1 028-030 Funeral Transportation.indd 30
1988 Cadillac Eureka Hearse
Contact Cadillac Hearse Hire ◆ Tel 01249
658987 or give details to your funeral director
white Rolls Royce, a Cadillac, or even a
white camper van or Volkswagen Beetle,
for enthusiasts of the VW classics. If
the deceased was a keen motorcyclist,
a funereal motorbike with sidecar
transporting the coffin is a choice grow-
ing in popularity. A good funeral director
will always be more than willing to help
research and organise unusual funeral
transport. Their purpose is to try to best
accommodate whatever the family wants
to do, to make the funeral as personal and
meaningful as possible, in as positive a
way as possible. That said, however, they
certainly would not object if the family
decided to arrange the transport element
of the funeral themselves. We have
included some interesting alternatives
who work closely with funeral directors
to provide something different.
Whether it is a horse-drawn carriage, an
American flatbed pick-up truck or a boat
up the river, this final journey can always
be planned to best suit the character of
the deceased. But whatever the method of
transport, it is of course always going to be
a difficult time for family and friends of the
deceased – so, next time you see a cortege
pass through your high street or down
the dual carriageway you’re on, spare a
thought for the family in the limousine.
You being held up by a few minutes is
not exactly on the same emotional scale
as what they’re going through – so help
them make the day go as smoothly as
possible by not indulging in any road
rage. For more information visit
www.bereavementtoday.com. All vehicles
shown in this feature are available for
hire, and can be booked by your funeral
director, if you have any queries please
contact Bereavement Today Magazine on
Telephone: 020 7467 4420. •
9/8/09 8:24:50 pm
GL Funeral Guide Adv 300dp #41 11/5/09 17:49 Page 3

s p e c i a l i s t s i n

Worldwide Repatriation
With an International Reputation

The acknowledged experts in the field of

international repatriations with a reputation
built on 38 years of care.

• Full repatriation services to and from all countries

• Collection and delivery throughout the UK
• Discounted freight fares and tickets for accompanying families
• Legal documentation service for Embassy and Consular
regulations
• Multi lingual & friendly staff to attend to your requests
• Translation service available
• Dignified and professional funeral service managed totally on
your behalf
• Care service available at airport of arrival
• Bereavement counsellor service to help with probate, forms
and expenses
• Care of personal effects

For further information call

020 8684 2324

Email: info@rowlandbrothersinternational.co.uk
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Rowland Brothers Approved International

I N T E R N A T I O N A L repatriation service provider
for the NAFD
 Repatriation
R E PAT R I AT I O N
The loss of a loved one can sometimes occur whilst abroad.
Here, we look at the legal issues that must be addressed in
order to bring the body of the deceased back home.
D ealing with the death
of a loved one is hard
enough without the
added pressure of having
to organise the transport
of the deceased’s body back home. There
will be quite a few forms that have to be
obtained whether repatriation is to the
UK or from the UK to elsewhere. But
what needs to be done?
Repatriation to the UK
Repatriation following a death is the
process of returning the deceased’s body
to the UK after he or she has died in a
foreign country.
“ T h e d e at h w i l l h av e t o b e
r e g i s t e r e d i n t h e c o u n t ry
where your loved one died”
It will involve whatever legislature
applies to the particular country where
the death has occurred as well as the legal
requirements applicable for a body to
be brought back to the UK. The Foreign
and Commonwealth Office in the UK
and the British Consul in the area where
the death has occurred will advise the
bereaved on what needs to be done.
Dealing with a Death Abroad
If the death occurred whilst on a tour
or package holiday, a representative
of the company will more than likely
contact the relevant authorities, in-
cluding the British Consulate, for you.
If you are travelling independently,
you will need to contact the British
Consulate yourself.
The British Consulate will advise on all
the practical aspects of repatriation, as well
32
BT1 032-033 Repatriation.indd 32
as help you work with the local authorities.
They will also be able to offer guidance
on booking transportation home for both
you and the body of the deceased.
The death will have to be registered in
the country where your loved one died.
A death certificate will be issued and may
need to be translated into English.
You may also be able to register the
cost yourself although
this may be reimbursed
from the deceased’s estate.
To arrange a funeral back in the
UK, you will need to take the certi-
fied English translation of the death
certificate to the register office in the area
in which you hope to hold the funeral.
Formal certificates will then be issued and
death with the British Consulate in order the funeral will be able to proceed.
to have a UK death certificate issued as
well. The death will be recorded in the Repatriation Overseas
General Registry Office (GRO) Over- Recent economic migration from
seas Registration section. You will need countries such as Poland has meant an
the deceased’s full name, date of birth, increase in requests for repatriation for a
passport information (including when funeral overseas. There are certain legal
requirements that need to be fulfilled
for a body to be moved from
England or Wales to abroad, and
also to Scotland, Northern
Ireland, the Isle of Man and
the Channel Islands.
You will need to notify
the coroner for the
and where it was issued and the passport district in which
number), and next of kin. It is only the deceased
possible to do this in certain countries. is lying and
complete a
Returning Home
There are certain rules that must be
adhered to in order to transport a
body back to the UK. The deceased
will have to be embalmed and then
secured in a zinc-lined coffin. You
will need to carry a certified English
translation of your loved one’s
death certificate, written autho-
risation from local authorities
to remove the body and a
certificate of embalming.
The cost of repatriation
may be covered by your
travel insurance;
otherwise you will
have to cover the
9/8/09 8:25:23 pm

Removal Notice (form 104). The
funeral director will usually deal with
this form on your behalf. Often this
authorisation has to be requested at least
four days before the person is to be
moved to give time for any enquiries.
Repatriating someone who has
died from Scotland to elsewhere
may not need the authority of the
Procurator Fiscal – please check with
your funeral director who can advise on
your specific circumstances.
B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY
BT1 032-033 Repatriation.indd 33
The Added Cost of
Repatriation
Repatriation may mean additional
costs, for example caskets and embalming
for repatriation have to conform to high
specifications as well as the cost of the flight
itself and costs in the destination country.
A less expensive alternative is to have the
cremation in this country with repatriation
of the ashes/cremated remains. The funeral
director will be able to advise and help with
the necessary documentation.
Cremated remains may be carried to
some countries in hand luggage (with
a death certificate and a certificate
from the crematorium and sometimes
a consular seal). But do check with the
funeral director or consulate as each
nation has its own regulations.
Many countries require signed
documents from an appropriate doctor
that the deceased was not suffering from
any condition that might pose a public
health risk.
Experts in Repatriation
Any funeral director can organise
repatriation but some specialise in this
type of work and have expertise in the
field with detailed knowledge of the
legal requirements for each country
and a strong working relationship with
particular airlines. At Bereavement
Today we are pleased to recommend
Rowland Brothers who are specialists
in worldwide repatriation with multi-
lingual staff. They can be contacted on
Tel: 020 8684 2324. •
33
9/8/09 8:25:38 pm
 Single
T H E W H I T E D O V E C O M PA N Y

WHITE DOVE
A memorial dove release is peaceful,
healing and inspirational.

Y ou may not have heard

of memorial white
dove release, but most
people that experience this
simple, but beautiful visual
spectacle find it an incredibly moving
and memorable tribute to the life they
are celebrating.
The release of a single white dove
at the funeral of a loved one can bring
comfort as you watch the symbol of
your loved one’s spirit fly off and up
into the sky.
A typical dove release at a
funeral involves a single white

After that Hour

dove placed in a beautiful cage.
At the end of the service
the family steps forward
to gather round the
single dove. All family
members place a hand
on the lid and as
a group lift the lid
and liberate the pure
white dove to fly up
and away.
Immediately afterwards, a flock of
doves is released symbolizing God’s
angels. The angel doves fly up and sur-
round the single spirit dove, and then
all the doves fly safely home together.
This can be a wonderfully spiritual
event, providing those present with a
beautiful and everlasting memory of
the occasion.
With over 40 years experience in
this field, Bereavement Today Magazine
are pleased to recommend The White
Dove Company who can be contacted
directly on Tel: 0208 508 1414 or email:
thewhitedovecompany@yahoo.co.uk •
After that hour of sleep, you woke, and made
a little sound, between a cough and sigh.
The breathless nights were over: unafraid
after that hour of sleep, you woke, and made
no gesture of distress, but simply laid
your hands in mine. It seemed easy to die
after that hour of sleep: you woke, and made
a little sound, between a cough and sigh.
 
Revisiting that hour, as every day
I do, I find you waking from your sleep.
You never speak, but always look away:
revisiting that hour, as every day
lengthens your absence, I pretend you'll stay,
look at me, answer. Else why should I keep
revisiting that hour, as every day
I do, to find you waking from your sleep?
Christine Webb
Christine Webb’s collection After Babel is
published by Peterloo Poets. It is available
directly from Christine. For further details
email: christinemwebb@waitrose.com

34

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A2E_adv0709:210x297 10/07/2009 14:58 Page 1

BESPOKE SCATTERING SERVICE

Ashes to Earth is a family run company specialising in the scattering

of cremated remains. Its founding was prompted by our personal
experience of scattering in wild and natural surroundings as opposed
to those at a crematorium or public burial ground.
Ashes to Earth offers a tailor made service for those who cannot or
do not want to scatter the ashes themselves either because of ill
health, time pressure or remoteness of location.
The site may have been specified by the deceased, or family and
friends may have their own ideas. If required Ashes to Earth can
help with the decision suggesting beautiful locations throughout
the country.
With experienced mountaineers on the staff we able to scatter at
any location at home or abroad. Friends or relatives can take part in
the scattering if so desired.
Ashes to Earth is mindful of the affect ashes have on local flora and
recommends scattering off the beaten track where minimal damage
is done to the local ecosystem and where the remains can return to
the earth undisturbed. One of our founding principles is the leaving of
no memorial, believing that the beauty of site and surrounding area
is memorial enough.
The details of the service are agreed in advance, including location,
time and any prayers, poems or words of remembrance for recital
during the proceedings.
A commemorative folder is sent to the family containing a certificate
of scattering, photographic record, description of the day together
with grid and GPS references and a map of the site.
Ashes to Earth are also able to arrange scatterings at sea.
Ashes to Earth is a supplier member of the National Association of
Funeral Directors.
For further information please contact
Ashes to Earth
PO Box 520
Chorley PR6 6EQ
01257 260 931
info@ashestoearth.co.uk
Or visit our website at www.ashestoearth.co.uk

BT1 024 Stationery.indd 35 10/8/09 2:01:43 am

 Choosing
CHOOSING A FUNERAL DIRECTOR

A FUNERAL DIRECTOR
Like all businesses, the products
that funeral directors offer and
the costs involved will vary.
What do you need to know to
make the right choice?

A fter the loss of a loved

one it can seem difficult
to make any decisions let
alone deal with pressing
matters such as the choice
of a funeral director. But the sooner you
do, the sooner you can obtain help and
guidance about what needs to be done.
Many people assume you can only
qualified and makes an annual declaration
to abide by a strict code of conduct.
The National Association of Funeral
Directors (NAFD), the Society of Allied
and Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF)
and the Funeral Standards Council all have
exemplary codes of practice, premises that
are routinely monitored and schemes for
remedying any grievances should they arise.
A
C
is for agent. They employ the services
of such people as gravediggers, clergy
and florists and pay the fees on behalf of
the family.

is for carer. They help the bereaved

contact a funeral director once the
death has been registered but this is not
the case. The sooner a funeral director
becomes involved, the sooner they will
be able to help. For instance, you can
appoint a funeral director while you are
awaiting a post-mortem’s completion.
They will be able to discuss your require-
ments and act on your behalf so that the
funeral will not be delayed unnecessarily
once the post-mortem is complete and
the death has been registered.
Although you may be familiar with
a local funeral director, it is advisable
to get more than one quote before you
decide. (Use the Bereavement Today
Independent funeral Directors’ Direc-
tory to find the best in your region.) If
you find it difficult to phone, get a friend
or relative to help. You are entitled to
ask for a breakdown of the charges and
it’s best to get any quotes put in writing.
Funeral directors in the UK are not
legally required to have any formal training.
However all members of the British Insti-
tute of Funeral Directors do have to hold
an annual licence to practice. This licence
confirms that the holder is professionally
There is also a code known as the
MCTAC code, this is an abbreviation used
by people in the funeral profession to sum-
marise the role of a good funeral provider.
“ T h e s ooner a funeral director
b eco m e s in v olv ed , t h e s ooner
t h e y w ill b e a b le to h el p ”
M stands for master of ceremonies.
The funeral director’s job is to see
everyone is in the right place at the right
time and that the funeral flows without
any unnecessary distress.
C is for custodian. They treat the
deceased with respect, caring for
them in a safe, hygienic environment
and providing a coffin that conforms to
burial and cremation regulations.
T is for technical adviser. They guide you
through the many technical aspects
such as disposal of cremated remains,
import or export of the deceased etc.
to be ‘heard, held and honoured’.
This involves putting them in touch with
everyone who can help with that aim.
Bear in mind that you do not have to
accept all the options that are presented
to you. For example, if you are opting
for a cremation you may want to spend
less on the coffin. A funeral director
only gets one chance to get it right so
make sure you use their knowledge and
help to arrange the funeral service you
have in mind.
Useful contacts
National Association of Funeral Directors
Telephone: 01217 111343
Website: www.nafd.org.uk
Funeral Standards Council
Telephone: 029 2038 2046
Website:
www.funeral-standards-council.co.uk •

36

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 B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 37

BT1 036-037 Choosing a Funeral Director.indd 37 9/8/09 10:03:34 pm

 funeral
ARRANGING A FUNERAL WITHOUT A FUNERAL DIRECTOR
ARRANGING A
M ost funerals in the
UK are organised
by funeral directors
but they don’t have
to be. Some people
choose to do the hard work themselves,
getting involved with every aspect of
a loved one’s final send off. This very
personal approach is referred to as an
independent funeral.
Why do it yourself?
There are various reasons why people
decide on an independent funeral. It
could be because they feel uncomfort-
able passing the responsibility of a loved
one’s body over to strangers, or that they
would like to dedicate their time and
energy to creating a more personalised
tribute. It could also come down to
money. Funeral directors have to operate
commercially and so can be expensive.
However, doing-it-yourself is quite
complicated and it’s worth considering
what the funeral process is likely to entail
before you make any decisions.
A funeral director will usually collect
and move the body, arrange embalming
and viewing of the deceased, provide a
coffin and hearse and guidance throughout
the ceremony wherever it takes place. If
undertaken independently such tasks may
prove unpleasant as well as difficult. The
average coffin will not fit in most cars and
will need four people to lift it. The deceased
will also need to be kept somewhere cool
leading up to the service. It is not a decision
to be taken lightly and it is advisable to
discuss the options with family and close
friends before making any final decisions.
38
BT1 038-039 Arranging a Funeral without a Funeral Director.indd 38
WITHOUT A FUNERAL DIRECTOR
An independent funeral may involve a lot of work and
organisation, but it also provides an opportunity for a
highly personalised tribute and could save you money.
Although there will be a lot of work to
do with an independent funeral you will
have complete control over content giving
you the chance to create a very personal
goodbye and costs can be kept low.
Legal issues
You will need to register the death
(see our Registering a Death feature),
obtaining several copies of the death
certificate. And if the body is to be
cremated you will need to get three
forms from the crematorium. You will
also need two doctor’s certificates. If the
death occurred in hospital, the hospital
will provide a release form and you
may then make arrangements with the
hospital mortuary to collect the body.
What needs to be done?
You will need to decide whether the service
is to be held at a cemetery, crematorium
chapel, other religious building or alterna-
tive venue (see our feature on venues).
Make a booking as soon as possible.
Decide who you would like to offici-
ate at the ceremony. Appoint a priest
of a particular religion or a humanist
celebrant. Alternatively, you can ask
someone who knew your loved one well
to conduct the ceremony. They do not
need any qualifications but they do need
to be confident.
Music is a particularly good way to
personalise a service. From traditional
hymns to Sinatra’s ‘I Did It My Way’ –
anything goes.
Decide what you’d like to do regarding
flowers (see our feature on floral tributes),
and organise grave-digging if necessary.
You can get friends or relatives to act
as pallbearers. You will need at least four
people to carry an average coffin. And
you will also need to organise transport
for the coffin (see our feature on funeral
transport for ideas).
Providing your own transport, coffin
and pallbearers will save money but you
will have to pay for the cremation or
burial, the grave and memorial.
Looking after the body
In the past it was quite common for various
members of the community to help prepare
a body for funeral but now it is rare.
Some undertakers will look after the
body until the funeral or if the deceased
died in hospital it might be possible to
store the body in the hospital mortuary
until the day of the funeral. If you are
keeping the body at home, the deceased
needs to be kept in a cool room. In sum-
mer, you may need to have the deceased
embalmed by a professional.
The coffin
The choice in coffins has greatly increased
in the last few years (see our feature on
coffins). You can choose to make your
own but do check with your local crema-
torium, Woodland burial park or cemetery
to ensure you use acceptable materials.
If you would rather bury your loved
one in a shroud check with your local
crematorium or cemetery to find out if
this is acceptable.
The day of the ceremony
Check traffic reports and make sure you
leave in good time for the venue. •
9/8/09 10:04:48 pm
 B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 39

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 Money
PAY I N G F O R T H E F U N E R A L
Even a simple funeral costs a fair amount.
Here, we look at what help is available when
paying for a funeral.
F unerals can be very expensive,
and it is important to know
how the costs are going to
be met, and whether you are
entitled to any help. Firstly
check the Will to see who the executor
is and if any financial provision has been
made for the funeral. Then check if there
were any pre-paid funeral plans, insur-
ance policies, pension schemes or bank/
building society accounts. Banks and
building society accounts will be frozen,
but may release up to £5000 to cover
the cost of a funeral on production of a
death certificate, although they are not
obliged to.
Some employers pension schemes
pay a lump sum to help with the funeral
costs. If money is not available until
probate is granted, you or the executor
may need to pay and then recover the
money from the estate later.
Benefits that may be available
Funeral Payment
If you are finding it difficult to pay for a
funeral, you may be able to get a Social
Fund Funeral Payment from the Ben-
efits Agency, if you or your partner
receives one of the following:
◆ Income Support
◆ Housing Benefit
◆ Council Tax Benefit
◆ Job Seekers’ Allowance other help
(income based)
◆ Disabled Person’s Tax Credit
Working Family’s Tax Credit
If you get a funeral payment, it will
have to be paid back from any estate
of the deceased person. The ‘estate’
means any money, property and other
things like insurance policies that the
40
BT1 040 Paying for the Funeral.indd 40
FINDING THE
deceased owned. A house or personal
possessions that are left to a widow,
widower or surviving civil partner are
not counted as part of the estate.
How much do you get?
A Funeral Payment includes necessary
burial or cremation fees, certain other
specified expenses and up to £700 for
any other funeral expenses, such as
the funeral director’s fees, the coffin
or flowers. If the person who died had
a pre-paid funeral plan you’ll only get
help for items not covered by the plan.
Bereavement Payment
If your husband, wife or civil partner
has died you may be able to get a
Bereavement Payment, a one off lump
sum payment of £2000 that is tax-free.
A claim can be made if your husband,
wife, or civil partner had paid their
National Insurance contributions or
their death was caused by their job and
either: you were under state pension
age when they died or your husband,
wife or civil partner was not entitled
to category A state retirement benefit
when they died.
When you fill in the claim form you
will be asked to give your late husband,
wife or civil partner’s National Insur-
ance number and details of their recent
employment history. You will not get
a Bereavement Payment if you were
divorced or living with another person
at the time of your husband, wife or
civil partner’s death. You can order a
Bereavement Benefits Pack over the
telephone from your nearest Job Centre
or Social Security office.
Funeral Costs
Funeral costs as with most things in the
UK vary quite considerably depending
on where you live. It costs an average
of £2500 for a cremation and basic
funeral service in the UK. But if you
want to be buried, for example, the
costs are much higher. We recom-
mend that you get more than one
quote to compare the funeral
costs and services.
If you can’t get any
If no one is able or willing
to arrange and pay for the
funeral the local council (or in
some cases the health authority)
may do so, but only where the
funeral has not already been arranged.
The local council may also make a
claim on the deceased’s estate to pay
for the funeral. •
9/8/09 10:05:31 pm
 Bereavement
T H E B E R E AV E M E N T R E G I S T E R

THE

REGISTER
Helping to stop junk mail being sent to the deceased.

O n any given day,

approximately 1,575
people die in the UK,
according to ONS
figures. As if this
reminder of our own mortality wasn’t
sobering enough, this same 1,575
deceased will cumulatively receive over
126,000 pieces of unsolicited mail in the
twelve months following their deaths.
The result? Undue distress to grieving
family members and friends as well
as adverse environmental impacts at a
time when we’re all striving to be more
eco-friendly.
This ‘dead post’ problem is part of a
veritable junk mail tsunami of 4.2 billion
items sweeping across Britain annually.
Often containing valuable personal
details such as name, address and date of
birth, an ever-increasing amount of post mailing lists against the service’s extensive and is the deceased mail service of choice
is being illegally intercepted by identity database before removing all deceaseds’ amongst the majority of Britain’s funeral
thieves. According to CIFAS, the UK’s details. You can expect to see a significant homes and police constabularies.
fraud prevention service, Impersonation reduction in the amount of mail received Using The Bereavement Register is
of the Dead (IOD) is now Britain’s in approximately six weeks (while noting easy and can be completed:
fastest-growing identity crime, with there will, unfortunately, always be some
upwards of 70,000 families likely to companies that do not clean their lists as ◆ Online at:
experience the pain of discovering their regularly as they should). If mail is still be- www.the-bereavement-register.org.uk
deceased loved one has become a victim ing received after this time, The Bereave- ◆ Telephone 0800 082 1230 to use our
of IOD fraud this year alone. ment Register invites you to forward these automated service
At the end of the day, home shouldn’t items to the service’s FREEPOST address, ◆ Complete a printed registration form
be where the heartbreak is. So to stop where companies will be contacted on and return to us by post:
the rising tide of junk mail afflicting UK your behalf.
households, The Bereavement Register Donna Marshall and Victoria Maskell The Bereavement Register
was established in 2000 as a free public (pictured) are the public faces of The St George’s House
service with the specific aim of stopping Bereavement Register. Donna and 15 Pembroke Road
post being sent to people who have died Victoria personally field dozens of calls Sevenoaks
– thus protecting sensitive personal data each day from family members and friends Kent
and the environment. wanting to register deceaseds’ details. That TN13 1XR
The process is simple: Name and The Bereavement Register’s database now
address details for the deceased can be contains over 3 million name and address The Bereavement
registered via telephone, online or by records is testament to their personalized Register looks forward
mail onto the Register’s central database. and professional service – as is the fact that to helping you at what is
Marketers subscribing to The Bereave- the Register is now used to screen over often a very emotional
ment Register then name-check their 72 per cent of all direct mail in the UK and difficult time. •

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 41

BT1 041 The Bereavement Register.indd 41 9/8/09 10:06:07 pm

 DIRECTORY FUNERAL DIRECTORS

F U NERA L D IRE C T O R S
A t BereavementToday we
feel that it is essential
for a great send-off
that your Funeral
Director provides a
personal service focusing on your own
individual needs. We have carefully
selected from each London borough
Funeral Directors that have excellent
reputations and strong links within
their local community that can assist
you with all your requirements.
For further information about the
funeral directors listed in our directory,
please visit www.bereavementtoday.
com where you can view their profiles.
For any queries please email: advice@
bereavementtoday.com

Barking & Dagenham BARNET BARNET

West & Coe Funeral Directors A France & Son Leverton & Sons
620 Rainham Road South 14 Watford Way 624 Finchley Road
Dagenham Hendon London
Essex London NW11 7RR
RM10 8YP NW4 3DA Tel: 020 8455 4992
Tel: 020 8592 0164 (24 hrs) Tel: 020 8202 6868 Email: richard@levertons.co.uk
Email: mailbox@westcoe.co.uk Email: afranceandsonhendon@tiscali.co.uk Website: www.levertons.co.uk
Website: www.westcoe.co.uk

BARNET BARNET BEXLEY

Leverton & Sons WH Putnam Ltd Bexley Funeral Service
1 Denmark Street 6 Holmstall Parade 165 Blendon Road
Fortis Green Burnt Oak Bexley
London Edgeware Kent
N2 9HG Middlesex HA8 5HX DA5 1BT
Tel: 020 8444 5753 Tel: 020 8205 6620 Tel: 020 8303 1274
Email: richard@levertons.co.uk Email: alana@whputnamltd.com Email: bexleyfunerals@aol.com
Website: www.levertons.co.uk Website: www.bexleyfuneralservice.co.uk

BRENT BROMLEY BROMLEY

HJ Bent & Co James Harper Albert Parr & Sons
10 Sidmouth Road 9 Plaistow Lane 117 Croyden Road
London Bromley Beckenham
NW2 5JX Kent Kent
Tel: 020 8459 5848 BR1 4DS BR3 3RA
Email: hjbentandco@yahoo.co.uk Tel: 020 8464 0080 Tel: 020 8650 2141
Email: enquiries@james-harper.co.uk Email: dawn@aparr.force9.co.uk
Website: www.james-harper.co.uk Website: www.albertparrandsons.com

42

BT1 042-047 Directory - Funeral Directors.indd 42 9/8/09 10:06:46 pm

 CAMDEN CAMDEN CAMDEN
Green Endings A France & Son Leverton & Sons
141 Fortress Road 45 Lambs Conduit Street 164 Malden Road
London London London
NW5 2HR WC1N 3NH NW5 4BS
Tel: 020 7424 0345 Tel: 020 7405 4901 Tel: 020 7485 1969
Email: info@greenendings.co.uk Email: france@ukonline.co.uk Email: richard@levertons.co.uk
Website: www.greenendings.co.uk Website: www.levertons.co.uk

CAMDEN CROYDON CROYDON

Leverton & Sons Cliff Hollett DA Lyndsay & Sons
Kentish Town Road 30 Station Road 111 Lower Addiscombe Road
London London Croydon
NW1 8PD SE25 5AG Surrey
Tel: 020 7485 1266 Tel: 020 8653 3366 CR0 6PU
Email: richard@levertons.co.uk Email: joyce.roach@yahoo.co.uk Tel: 020 8654 4466
Website: www.levertons.co.uk Website: www.smithyeatman.co.uk Email: david@dalindsayandsons.co.uk
Website: www.dalindsayandsons.co.uk

CROYDON CROYDON CROYDON

A & J Morriss & Sons A&J Morriss & Sons Rowland Brothers
343 Lower Addiscombe Road 15 The Broadway 299-305 Whitehorse Road
Addiscombe Plough Lane West Croydon
Croydon Beddington London
CR0 6RG CR0 4QR CR0 2HR
Tel: 020 8654 0090 Tel: 020 8681 2001 Tel: 020 8684 1667
Web: www.ajmorriss.com Email: info@ajmorriss.com Email: info@rowlandbrothers.com
Email: info@ajmorriss.com Website: www.ajmorriss.com Website: www.rowlandbrothers.com

CROYDON CROYDON CROYDON

Rowland Brothers Rowland Brothers Rowland Brothers
44 High Street 9 The Parade 434 Limpsfield Road
Purley Old Coulsdon Warlingham
CR8 2AA CR5 1EH CR6 9L
Tel: 020 8660 5547 Tel: 01737 555 202 Tel: 01883 623 067
Email: info@rowlandbrothers.com Email: info@rowlandbrothers.com Email: info@rowlandbrothers.com
Website: www.rowlandbrothers.com Website: www.rowlandbrothers.com Website: www.rowlandbrothers.com

CROYDON CROYDON EALING

Rowland Brothers WA Truelove & Son Ltd Southall Funeral Service
32 Central Parade 55 Chipstead Valley Road 70 Western Road
New Addington Coulsdon Southall
CR0 0LD Surrey Middlesex
Tel: 01689 842 046 CR5 2RB UB2 5DZ
Email: info@rowlandbrothers.com Tel: 020 8660 2620 Tel: 020 8571 0621
Website: www.rowlandbrothers.com Email: info@watltd.co.uk Email: michaeltiney@hotmail.com
Website: www.wa-truelove-and-son.ltd.uk

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 43

BT1 042-047 Directory - Funeral Directors.indd 43 9/8/09 10:06:47 pm

 DIRECTORY FUNERAL DIRECTORS

ENFIELD ENFIELD GREENWICH

African Caribbean Mary Collins W Uden & Sons
Funeral Services 182 Stoke Newington High Street 51-53 Passey Place
99 Stoke Newington Church Street London Eltham
London N16 7SD London
N16 0UD Tel: 020 7249 5740 SE9 5DA
Tel 020 7275 0175 Tel: 020 8850 2868
Email caribbeanfuneral@btconnect.com Email: matt@wuden.com
Website: www.wuden.com

HACKNEY HACKNEY HACKNEY

African Caribbean Mary Collins CR Wigley & Sons
Funeral Services 182 Stoke Newington High Street 44 Kynaston Road
99 Stoke Newington Church Street London Hackney
London N16 7SD London
N16 0UD Tel: 020 7249 5740 N16 0EU
Tel 020 7275 0175 Tel 020 7226 1956
Email caribbeanfuneral@btconnect.com Email crwigley@hotmail.com

HAMMERSMITH HARRINGEY HARRINGEY

Chelsea Funerals African Caribbean Funeral Mary Collins
235 Munster Road Services 182 Stoke Newington High Street
Fulham 99 Stoke Newington Church Street London
London London N16 7SD
SW6 6BT N16 0UD Tel: 020 7249 5740
Tel: 020 7385 0866 Tel 020 7275 0175
Email: funerals@chelseafunerals.co.uk Email caribbeanfuneral@btconnect.com
Website: www.chelseafunerals.co.uk

HARRINGEY HARRINGEY HARROW

Demetriou & English F Upson & Sons WH Putnam Ltd
131-133 Myddleton Road 655 High Road 185 Streatfield Road
Wood Green Tottenham Harrow
London London Middlesex
N22 8NG N17 8AA HA3 9DA
Tel 020 8889 9888 Tel: 020 8808 1475 Tel: 020 8204 3252
Email info@d-e.co.uk Email: f.upson@tiscali.co.uk Email: alana@whputnamltd.com
Website www.d-e.co.uk

HAVERING HAVERING HAVERING

BF Mulley & Sons BF Mulley & Sons Frank Rivett
254 St Mary’s Lane 28 High Street 10 Willow Parade
Upminster Hornchurch Moor Lane
Essex RM14 3DH London RM12 4UN Cranham
Tel: 01708 220 330 Tel: 01708 442 145 Essex
Email: funerals@bfmulleyson.com Email: funerals@bfmulleyson.com RM14 1DZ
Website: www.bfmulleyson.com Tel: 01708 259 097
Email: tonyfrankrivett@btconnect.com

44

BT1 042-047 Directory - Funeral Directors.indd 44 9/8/09 10:06:49 pm

 HAVERING HILLINGDON HOUNSLOW
West & Coe Funeral Directors A Cain Funeral Services Holmes & Daughters
125 Hornchurch Road 38 Coldharbour Lane 7 Cavendish Terrace
Hornchurch Hayes High Street
Essex RM12 4SY Middlesex UB3 3EP Feltham
Tel: 01708 448 434 Tel: 020 8573 0664 Middlesex
Email: mailbox@westcoe.co.uk Email: info@acainfuneralservices.co.uk TW13 4HE
Website: www.westcoe.co.uk Tel: 020 8893 1860

ISLINGTON ISLINGTON ISLINGTON

African Caribbean Funeral Mary Collins WG Miller
Services 182 Stoke Newington High Street 93-95 Essex Road
99 Stoke Newington Church Street London Islington
London N16 7SD London
N16 0UD Tel: 020 7249 5740 N1 2SJ
Tel 020 7275 0175 Tel: 020 7226 3886
Email caribbeanfuneral@btconnect.com

KENSINGTON & CHELSEA KENSINGTON & CHELSEA KINGSTON UPON THAMES

HJ Bent & Co Chelsea Funeral Directors Alan Greenwood & Sons
343 Ladbroke Grove 260B Fulham Road 119 London Road
Notting Hill London Kingston-upon-Thames
London SW10 9EL Surrey
W10 6HA Tel: 020 7352 0008 KT2 6NH
Tel: 020 8969 1170 Email: funerals@chelseafunerals.co.uk Tel: 020 8546 3960
Email: hjbentandco@yahoo.co.uk Website: www.chelseafunerals.co.uk Email: alangreenwoodandsons@tiscali.co.uk
Website: alangreenwoodfunerals.com

LAMBETH LAMBETH MERTON

Stanley Clare A Yeatman & Sons WA Truelove & Son Ltd
254 Brixton Hill 384 Norwood Road 49-51 Upper Green Street
Brixton London Mitcham
London SE27 9AA Surrey
SW2 1HF Tel: 020 8670 1127 CR5 2PF
Tel: 020 8674 5764 Email: claire@smithyeatman.com Tel: 020 8648 2905
Email: wfcobbett@yahoo.co.uk Website: www.smithyeatman.com Email: info@watltd.co.uk
Website: www.wa-truelove-and-son.ltd.uk

MERTON NEWHAM NEWHAM

WA Truelove & Son Ltd T Cribb & Sons Frank Rivett & Sons
254 Martin Way Victoria House 15 Plaistow Road
Morden 10 Woolwich Manor Way Stratford
Surrey Beckton London
SM4 1AW London E15 3ET
Tel: 020 8540 6667 E6 5PA Tel 020 8519 7235
Email: info@watltd.co.uk Tel: 020 7476 1855
Website: www.wa-truelove-and-son.ltd.uk Email: info@tcribb.co.uk
Website: www.tcribb.co.uk

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 45

BT1 042-047 Directory - Funeral Directors.indd 45 9/8/09 10:06:51 pm

 DIRECTORY FUNERAL DIRECTORS

REDBRIDGE RICHMOND UPON THAMES SOUTHWARK

Sikh Heritage Funeral Directors Holmes and Daughters AG Smith
363 High Road 461 Upper Richmond Road West 103 Great Suffolk Street
Ilford East Sheen London
Essex London SE1 1PQ
IG1 1TF SW14 7PU Tel: 020 7928 5377
Tel: 020 8514 8861 Tel: 020 8392 1012 Email: tracy@smithyeatman.com
Website: www.smithyeatman.com

SOUTHWARK SUTTON SUTTON

AG Smith John Knox WA Truelove & Son
18 Camberwell Road 34 Stonecot hill 118 Carshalton Road
London Sutto Sutton
SE5 0EN Surrey Surrey
Tel: 020 7708 2689 SM3 9HE SM1 4RL
Email: asmithcam@wintechsurf.com Tel 020 8337 2626 Tel: 020 8642 8211
Website: www.smithyeatman.com Email wfcobbett@yahoo.co.uk Email: info@watltd.co.uk
Website: www.wa-truelove-and-son.ltd.uk

SUTTON SUTTON SUTTON

WA Truelove & Son WA Truelove & Son WA Truelove & Son
20 Mulgrave Road 31 High Street 278 High Street
Sutton Cheam Sutton
Surrey Surrey Surrey
SM2 6LE SM3 8RE SM1 1PG
Tel: 0208 642 0089 Tel: 020 Tel: 020 8642 0327
8 642 3300 Email: info@watltd.co.uk
Email: info@watltd.co.uk Website: www.wa-truelove-and-son.ltd.uk
Website: www.wa-truelove-and-son.ltd.uk

SUTTON TOWER HAMLETS TOWER HAMLETS

WA Truelove & Son AC Tadman AC Tadman
109 Stafford Road 116 Jubilee Street 452 Bethnal Green Road
Wallington London London
Surrey E1 3EB E2 0EA
SM6 9AP Tel: 020 7790 4097 Tel: 020 7739 5182
Tel: 020 8647 1032 Email: info@actadman.co.uk Email: info@actadman.co.uk
Email: info@watltd.co.uk Website: www.actadman.co.uk Website: www.actadman.co.uk
Website: www.wa-truelove-and-son.ltd.uk

WALTHAM FOREST WALTHAM FOREST WALTHAM FOREST

African Caribbean Funeral Mary Collins HL Hawes & Sons
Services 182 Stoke Newington High Street 106 Tanners Lane
99 Stoke Newington Church Street London Ilford
London N16 7SD Essex
N16 0UD Tel: 020 7249 5740 EN9 1DL
Tel 020 7275 0175 Tel: 020 8550 4047
Email caribbeanfuneral@btconnect.com Email: karl@hlhawes.co.uk
Website: www.hlhawes.co.uk

46

BT1 042-047 Directory - Funeral Directors.indd 46 9/8/09 10:06:53 pm

 WANDSWORTH WANDSWORTH WANDSWORTH
Evershed Brothers Evershed Brothers Evershed Brothers
180 Battersea Park Road 120 Wandsworth High Street 501 Garratt Lane
London London Earlsfield
SW11 4ND SW18 4JP London
Tel: 020 7622 4935 Tel: 020 8874 1781 SW18 4SW
Email: wfcobbett@yahoo.co.uk Email: wfcobbett@yahoo.co.uk Tel: 020 8874 1490
Email: wfcobbett@yahoo.co.uk

WESTMINSTER WESTMINSTER
Chelsea Funerals Leverton & Sons
91 Rochester Row 212 Eversholt Street
Westminster London
London NW1 1BD
SW1P 1JL Tel: 020 7387 6075
Tel: 020 7834 3281 Email: richard@levertons.co.uk
Email: funerals@chelseafunerals.co.uk Website: www.levertons.co.uk
Website: www.chelseafunerals.co.uk

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 47

BT1 042-047 Directory - Funeral Directors.indd 47 9/8/09 10:06:54 pm

 Making
COLOURFUL COFFINS
A V E RY P E R S O N A L C H O I C E
Colourful Coffins pioneered bespoke and customised picture coffins in the UK.
Managing director Mary Tomes explains what makes them special.
T he ability to offer families a
very personal choice when
it comes to choosing a
coffin for their loved one is
what drives Mary Tomes,
managing director of Colourful Coffins.
The Oxford-based company, which
was launched in 2005, pioneered
bespoke and customised picture coffins
in the UK market and today it has built
an enviable reputation for quality and
service, both within the funeral industry
and with bereaved families.
Its coffins are sold exclusively through
funeral directors and each month more
and more families are choosing to
mark the loss of a special individual by
requesting a Colourful Coffin.
Some 90% of coffin requests are cust-
omised, with family photographs, holiday
pictures and favourite hobbies or sports
often integrated into bespoke designs.
“Many people tell us that having a
Colourful Coffin is seen as celebrat-
ing the life of the person they have
A variety
of designs are
available for both
ashes caskets and
coffins
48
BT1 048-049 Colourful Coffins.indd 48
lost. Our service is about people – it’s
providing those who are left behind
with the comfort that they have marked
the life of their loved one with a unique
and distinctive tribute,” said Mary.
“We’re often told that having a
Colourful Coffin helped bring a smile
to a very sad occasion and if we can play
a very small part in that day, then we’re
proud to do so.”
Continuing to bring innovation into
the industry, last year the company
launched a new service, giving people
the chance to pre-design their own
Colourful Coffin.
“Customers often asked us if it’s
possible to order a design in advance
and, although no-one really likes to have
to think about these things, it’s a very
practical approach,” continued Mary.
“In many ways, it’s a very special gift to
leave behind for your family because they
know they are fulfilling your last wishes.”
The pre-design package costs just £99
and enables people to send through
In 2008, Colourful Coffins launched its range of 100% recycled cardboard coffins
ideas and themes and to work with one
of the company’s designers to agree
their design. This is supplied on an
encrypted CD for safe keeping.
The growing trend towards more
environmentally-friendly funerals is also
supported by Colourful Coffins, which
already uses biodegradable paper or cotton
wraps and environmentally friendly inks.
In 2008, it launched the UK’s first
100% recycled cardboard picture coffins
and, in the first six months, saw sales rise
by around 400% as increasing numbers
of people chose cardboard as a more
sustainable option.
In addition, thanks to an agreement
with carbon offsetting organisation Cli-
mate Care, greenhouse gases are offset
each time one of its coffins is cremated.
And, when a Colourful Coffin is buried,
a tree is planted in the company’s own
six acre memorial woodland.
For more details, please visit
www.colourfulcoffins.com or telephone
01865 779172. •
9/8/09 10:07:23 pm
 Police Box
ashes casket

“ M A N Y P E O P L E T E L L U S T H AT
H AV I N G A C O L O U R F U L C O F F I N I S
S E E N A S C E L E B R AT I N G T H E L I F E
O F T H E P E R S O N T H E Y H AV E L O S T ”
B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 49

BT1 048-049 Colourful Coffins.indd 49 9/8/09 10:07:47 pm

 Coffins
tailored
for the
individual
Funerals are personal. And to help you
plan, we’ve extended our Reflections®
picture coffins range and introduced the
innovative wool coffin. Whether you
need a pastoral scene with fields of
sheep or a coffin made from British
wool, we’ve got the answer.

For more information call 0191 415 1516 J C Atkinson

Sedling Road, Wear Industrial Estate (East),
or log on to www.coffins.co.uk Washington, Tyne & Wear, NE38 9BZ

BT1 090 Choosing a Probate Solicitor.indd 50 9/8/09 1:38:31 pm

 We have introduced a new wool coffin range, a natural contemporary coffin with
a difference. We have also expanded our Reflections® picture coffins range for
adults and children. Customers can choose from a variety of designs or provide
their own imagery for the ultimate expression of personality.
Log onto www.coffins.co.uk for more information about our new ranges.

The mark of responsible forestry

Certified by SmartWood SW-COC-536
BEST GREEN
FSC Trademark COMPANIES
Certified ©1996 Forest Stewardship Council A.C.

BT1 090 Choosing a Probate Solicitor.indd 51 9/8/09

BEST GREEN 1:39:20 pm
COMPANIES
 Showcase
COFFINS SHOWCASE

COFFINS

From personalised coffins featuring the deceased’s favourite

things to wool and cotton caskets, coffins are changing.
Stephanie Zia looks at the wide choice now available.

T he coffin is the central

focus of the funeral
service. It represents the
dignity of the deceased on
their final journey to the
grave in both an intensely symbolic and
highly practical way. In Victorian times
the well to do were buried in solid oak
or elm coffins with heavy brass fittings
and ornamentations whilst the poor
were carried to their graves in a parish
coffin, shared among the community and
reused over many years. In these times of
environmental and monetary concerns,
the latter may well sound more attractive
to many. Indeed, as 70 per cent of funer-
als are now cremations, the burning of a
solid oak or a tropical hardwood coffin is
more likely to be seen as a waste of wood.

Ecopods in white and gold
Available from Ecopod
To view the full range, visit www.ecopod.co.uk
Order through your funeral director
or purchase directly on 01273 746011
Environmental Issues
Whilst nothing but the best is still often
felt to be the least a grieving relative
can provide, the most basic chipboard,
or even cardboard (from Greenfield
Creations), coffin is also now widely
acceptable and very few crematoriums
reject them. If environmental issues are
a major concern, though, it should be
noted that cardboard does use up more
fossil fuels than slow-burning wood and
that formaldehyde is used in the manu-
facture of chipboard. If a more substantial
wood is preferred or needed (to cover
the regulations for transportation abroad,
for instance), many coffins are now made
with sustainable timber certified by the
FSC (Forest Stewardship Council).
The most environmentally friendly are
local woods – cherry, oak or pine. One
of the most economical green choices is
untreated sustainable pine.

52

BT1 052-061 Coffins Showcase.indd 52 9/8/09 10:08:21 pm

 Cane coffin with matching ashes casket
Aavailable from Natural Woven Products
To view the full range, visit www.naturalwovencoffins.co.uk
Order through your funeral director

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 53

BT1 052-061 Coffins Showcase.indd 53 9/8/09 10:08:34 pm

 COFFINS SHOWCASE
Popular Choices
The coffin most commonly offered is
chipboard veneered in oak or mahogany
with handles, a nameplate and, perhaps,
a crucifix. These look like brass but are in
fact made of a type of easily combustible
plastic material. Plain chipboard, without
veneer, can actually be cheaper than
cardboard. Many funeral directors can
provide a coffin in plain sustainable
chipboard or cardboard, which you
collect and then decorate yourself (by
painting, for instance, with water based
paints). A simpler personalisation is for a
favourite scarf, piece of batik or sports/
college flag to be draped over the coffin.
Alternatively, the funeral director can
supply a rich velvet pall cover to hang
over the coffin during the service.
Whilst many funeral directors, espe-
cially the old, long-established family
firms, do sell coffins without the funer-
als, the usual practice is for the coffin to
be priced with their services − advice,
care of deceased, transportation, staff,
and retrieval of the ashes, but excluding
disbursements (flowers, crematorium,
church fees etc.).
“CASKETS ARE THE AMERICAN
S T Y L E O F C O F F I N , R E C TA N G U L A R
R AT H E R T H A N TA P E R E D ”
Willow rainbow coffin available from Somerset Willow Company
To view the full range, visit www.somersetwillow.co.uk
Manila cardboard coffin
Available from Eco Coffins
Order through your funeral director
To view the full range, visit www.eco-coffins.com
or purchase directly on 01223 655403
54
BT1 052-061 Coffins Showcase.indd 54
Seagrass coffin
Available from Fine Timber Products
To view the full range, visit
www.finetimberproducts.co.uk
Order through your funeral director
Ivy coffin from
Greenfield Creations
To view the full range,
visit www.greenfieldcreations.co.uk
Order through your funeral director
or purchase directly on 01440 788886
Order through your funeral director
Caskets
Caskets are the American style of coffin,
rectangular rather than tapered, with spe-
cial lining and a split lid for viewing. They
can be made of wood, steel, solid bronze
or finished in white enamel. Wooden
caskets are usually made of oak or poplar.
Wicker and Willow Coffins
An increasingly popular choice are
wicker or willow coffins. They look
great and are very eco-friendly as they
are both carbon neutral and easily
sustainable. They are now offered in a
wide range of styles and colours, wicker
coffins can be purchased through your
funeral director or sometimes you can
buy direct from the makers and have
it delivered to the funeral director’s.
This style also comes in bamboo, cane,
seagrass, water hyacinth and cocostick.
Homemade Coffins
As environmental concerns and
individuality are becoming more visible at
funeral services, some people are choos-
ing to make their own coffin. ‘Funeral
directors are increasingly likely to accept
a homemade coffin from you as long as
it meets the anti-pollution requirements,’
says the Natural Death Centre. Musgrove
Willows of Somerset even offer a weekend
course where you weave your own willow
coffin, which, they suggest, can be used as
a storage unit until required.
Personalised Coffins
Colourful Coffins offer families a very
personal choice when it comes to
choosing a coffin for their loved ones.
The company pioneered bespoke and
customised picture coffins. Some 90 per
cent of the requests they handle involve
customising coffins. This can involve the
addition of family photographs, holiday
pictures or even favourite hobbies or
sport can be integrated into the design.
9/8/09 10:08:47 pm
 Helping people preserve and
protect the environment

Greenfield Creations

Brown Economy Woodgrain

Woodland Green

Hip-Hop Spring
Ivy

This market leading, environmentally friendly, cardboard coffin has been manufactured
by Greenfield Creations since 1990. Made from 100% biodegradable cardboard.
The idea was Greenfield Creations response to an ever increasing number of people
wanting to reduce their impact on the environment when purchasing a coffin.
Our cleverly constructed, traditionally shaped designs, are stronger than other eco-friendly
cardboard coffins, holding up to 23 stone (150kg).
Available in a range of standard stock colours, we also offer a bespoke design service, both at a
very reasonable cost.
Our coffins are accepted at cemeteries, crematoriums and woodland burial sites across the UK.

Large range of stock colours; Woodgrain, woodland green, white, grey marble, green marble,
and brown economy. In addition, Greenfield Creations offer a bespoke design service.

A personal pictorial tribute.

A coffin designed to your bespoke requirement, your favourite colour, hobbies, or a place of interest

Visit our website to view recent

personalised pictorial tributes

Pink
Black Egyptian

Tel: 01440 788866 Fax: 01440 788877

www.greenfieldcreations.co.uk
E-mail: info@greenfieldcreations.co.uk
Address: Chapel Road, Ridgewell, Essex, CO9 4RU
 COFFINS SHOWCASE
Managing director, Mary Tomes says,
‘Many people tell us having a Colourful
Coffin is seen as celebrating the life of
the person they have lost’.
The company also provide a service
allowing people to pre-design their own
Colourful Coffin if they so wish.
Greenfield Creations offer a vast
range of colours from plain white,
black, wood grain to the highly popular
marble effect finishes although, by using
digital print technology, they also offer
an extensive pictorial range including
flowers, fireworks or their truly original
Egyptian design. They can also cater for
personalised designs; all you need is a
personal photograph or idea and they
do the rest.
Body Shop founder Anita Roddick
was buried in a recycled paper coffin
called the Ecopod. Designed by
Hazel Selina, a natural birth special-
56
BT1 052-061 Coffins Showcase.indd 56
ist who has turned her attentions
to natural death, these futuristic-
looking 100 per cent biodegradable
coffins are shaped like a seed pod and
come in a variety of colours includ-
ing silver or gold leaf.
Wool Swaledale coffin
Available fom JC Atkinson
To view the full range, visit www.coffins.co.uk
Order through your funeral director
Reflections
Summer and Nations coffins
Available from JC Atkinson
To view the full range, visit www.coffins.co.uk
Order through your funeral director
JC Atkinson’s Reflections® range
of picture coffins offer a wide choice
of designs that they hope will evoke
happy memories of your loved one. Their
creative team have worked rigorously on
producing a wide range of coffins that
cover many themes in a variety of different
styles. Within these various themes
(Floral, Landscape, Sporting, Pastimes &
Passions, Poetry & Quotations) they offer
ways in which to personalise the coffins
further, with variations on certain designs
and the option to include meaningful text.
Wool and Cotton Coffins
The Natural Legacy Range by JC At-
kinson, in partnership with Hainsworth
Coffins, offers a unique design combin-
ing the highest environmental standards
with an attractive and soft feel.
Casket available from Wells Caskets
Order through your funeral director
Earthsleeper available from Andrew Vaccari Ltd
To view the full range, visit www.vaccari.co.uk
Order through your funeral director
or purchase directly on 01363 777746
9/8/09 10:09:08 pm
 Manufacturers • We grow our own willow • Willow is an ideal renewable
of the most in Somerset.
• Our coffins are hand-
crop, harvested annually from
the same crown lasting up to
environmentally woven in our workshops sixty years. Tel : 01278 424003
Fax: 01278 446415
friendly coffins in Somerset.
• Willow is a carbon neutral
• Helping to encourage and
promote traditional English enquiries@somersetwillow.co.uk
in the UK. material. craftsmen. www.willowcoffins.co.uk

Cane and Seagrass Coffins

PA RT OF THE S O MERS ET W I L L OW C O MPAN Y

in both traditional and curved end styles

24 hour (next day)

delivery service
within mainland UK. 

In addition we offer baby

crib caskets, each one
complete with cotton lining. 

Matching ashes caskets

and nameplates are
also available.

Tel: 01278 588011 Fax: 01278 588183 E-mail: contact@naturalwovenproducts.co.uk

www.naturalwovencoffins.co.uk

SWC - Bereavment magazine A4 Advert 2009 (PRINT).indd 1 3/6/09 17:32:28

 COFFINS SHOWCASE
Made in Yorkshire, the Wharfedale
is made using heavy organic cotton
supported by a strong recycled card-
board frame and edged in jute, while the
Swaledale is similar but uses soft wool.
Both have a clean, soft, contemporary
look and are biodegradable.
Eco Coffins
Another revolution in coffin design is the
Coffin Cover, a high quality wooden shell
that covers the actual simple, biodegrad-
able coffin for the duration of the service.
There’s no charge for this because, like
the parish coffin of Victorian times, it’s
used over and over again. ‘Over 75 per
cent of eco and green funerals that we
arrange for our clients use the Coffin
Cover. Trees, environment, carbon
emissions, bank accounts – they are all
winners,’ says south London funeral
director Steven Mears. ‘Other Funeral
Various coffins from Colourful Coffins. To view
the full range, visit www.colourfulcoffins.co.uk
Order through your funeral director
58
BT1 052-061 Coffins Showcase.indd 58
CONTACTS
Colourful Coffins
www.colourfulcoffins.com
Tel: 01865 779172
Traditional
Willow coffin Eco Coffins
available from www.eco-coffins.com
Fine Timber Products. Tel: 07931 792947
To view the full range, visit
www.finetimberproducts.co.uk Ecopods
Order through your funeral director www.ecopod.co.uk
Tel: 01273 746011
Directors do not offer this as they want to
sell coffins − not give a service.’ Earthsleeper
Daisy Coffins have incorporated recy- www.vaccari.co.uk
Tel: 01363 777746
cling into their unique eco-coffins made
from fast-growing banana leaves and water English Willow Coffins
hyacinth, ‘Harvesting water hyacinth for www.englishwillowbaskets.co.uk
constructing Daisy Coffins has great local Tel: 01823 490249
benefits, in clearing water courses, provid-
ing irrigation etc. The resulting materials, Fibrous Funeral Supplies
www.fibrous.com
when woven, produce a beautiful looking Tel: 0845 450 8935
coffin.’ They also make biodegradable leaf
urns for the burial of ashes. Fine Timber Products
www.finetimberproducts.co.uk
Urns and Keepsakes Tel: 01584 819981
If ashes are to be buried or kept at home, Greenfield Creations
the choice of urn will be an important one. www.greenfieldcreations.co.uk
‘A cremation-memorial urn is not only to Tel: 01440 788886
keep ashes, it can hold a personal object,
photograph, lock of hair, anything that is a JC Atkinson
www.coffins.co.uk
personal reminder,’ says Cremation Urns Tel: 0191 4151516
and Keepsakes, the UK’s largest suppliers
of urns and memorial products. ‘There Musgrove Willows
are many urn styles, shapes and materials www.musgrovewillows.co.uk
available but the main ones are marble, Tel: 01278 691105
bronze, brass, wood and glass.’ Natural Death Centre
The Bio-fiber urn by Fibrous is 100% www.naturaldeath.org.uk
bio-degradable, 60% plant fibre and starts Tel: 0871 2882098
to degrade within one year. The Bio-
fiber urn is manufactured on the same Natural Endings
www.naturalendings.co.uk
principle as the Ecopod. Fibrous has a Tel: 01619 696690
large selection of biodegradable urns.
Passages Ltd make the Shell Deep Natural Woven Products
Water Bio Urn, especially for the burial of www.naturalwovencoffins.co.uk
ashes in water. Hand made from recycled Tel: 01278 588011
paper, it is designed to float momentarily Passages UK Ltd
before sinking and degrading naturally. www.earthurn.co.uk
Urns do not have to be purchased Tel: 01628 633730
especially. A favourite item closely
connected with the loved one’s life, a Somerset Willow Company
treasured wooden box, perhaps, or even www.somersetwillow.co.uk
Tel: 01278 424003
a favourite teapot, may feel more apt. •
English Willow Coffin available from PH Coate and Son. To view the full range, visit
www.englishwillowbaskets.co.uk Order through your funeral director or purchase on 01823 490249
9/8/09 10:09:22 pm
 COFFINS SHOWCASE

Coco stick coffin

Aavailable from Natural Woven Products
To view the full range, visit www.naturalwovencoffins.co.uk
Order through your funeral director

Tram coffin available from Colourful Coffins

To view the full range, visit www.colourfulcoffins.co.uk
Order through your funeral director

Traditional Buff Willow coffin available from Somerset Willow Company.

To view the full range, visit www.somersetwillow.co.uk
Order through your funeral director

Turquoise Willow coffin available from Somerset Willow Company

To view the full range, visit www.somersetwillow.co.uk
Order through your funeral director

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 Various patterned coffins
Available from Greenfield Creations
To view the full range, visit www.greenfieldcreations.co.uk
Order through your funeral director
or purchase directly on 01440 788886

Top right: English Willow Rounded coffin available from PH Coate and Son.
To view the full range, visit www.englishwillowbaskets.co.uk Order through
your funeral director or purchase directly on 01823 490249 and Waterhyacinth
coffin available from Fine Timber Products. To view the full range, visit www.
finetimberproducts.co.uk Order through your funeral director

Wool Swaledale coffin

Available fom JC Atkinson
To view the full range, visit www.coffins.co.uk
Order through your funeral director

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 61

BT1 052-061 Coffins Showcase.indd 61 9/8/09 10:10:14 pm

 DIRECTORY RECEPTION VENUES
RECEPTION VENUES
I t is common practice to host a
funeral reception for family and
friends after the funeral or crema-
tion. The event can be as simple or
fancy as you like. These events are
often arranged at short notice and there
are several options to consider. Firstly,
consider the number of people you wish
to invite, as this will influence the size of
venue required. Will you require catering,
a bar or accommodation for relatives
who have travelled a long way?
Hotels and function venues can
usually accommodate all of these
requirements and will have the staff and
BRENT
Wembley Stadium
Wembley
London
HA9 0WS
Tel: 0844 980 8001
Email: specialevents@wembleystadium.com
Website: www.wembleystadium.com
BROMLEY
Kent County Cricket Club
Sports Club
Worsley Bridge Road
Beckenham
Kent
BR3 1RL
Tel: 020 8650 8444
Email: kccc.beckenham@btconnect.com
Website: www.kentccc.com
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BT1 062-065 Directory - Reception Venues.indd 62
facilities to ensure a more relaxed and
dignified time for you and your guests
attending the event.
If you are having a reception, ask the
funeral director, family member or friend
to make an announcement letting people
know where and when the event is taking
place. This can be done at the funeral
home or at the end of a memorial service.
deceased, or a memorial DVD and
playing it in the background. You may
wish to have an open-mic session
where loved ones can share memories
of the deceased, or to have someone
say a few words about the deceased.
The event is a send-off for someone
very close to you, and you have total
freedom to include whatever feels
If it is a family-only reception, tell the right for you and your family. At
appropriate family members to pass the Bereavement Today we are pleased to
word among family and let them know showcase some great venues that offer
it is a family-only event. an excellent service and will ensure
You can personalize the event your funeral reception is a successful
by bringing a favourite CD of the and memorable event.
A truly state of the art iconic venue, Wem-
bley Stadium is one of the world’s leading
sports and entertainment venues. In the
shadow of the imposing Arch, one of
London’s most famous landmarks, enter
a vast array of conference and banqueting
spaces, each unique in design and décor,
and each offering a superb choice of
flexible and inspirational function areas.
Kent County Cricket Club is a unique
venue with a function room that is ideal for
a funeral reception or wake. We provide a
professional service with a personal touch
and can offer full catering and bar facilities.
There are good transport links and parking
for 70 cars.
9/8/09 10:17:17 pm
 CITY OF LONDON
Pewterers' Hall The first Pewterers' Hall dates back to 1496.
Oat Lane The current Hall was built in 1960 and
London houses a fine collection of both antique
EC2V 7DE and modern British pewter. You will
Tel: 020 7397 8190 receive total privacy for your event with our
Email: sales@pewterers.org.uk exclusive venue hire. Richmond Creative
Website: www.pewterers.org.uk Event Caterers handle the catering, on-site
sales and management to ensure the success
and smooth running of your event.

CROYDON
Crystal Palace FC We pride ourselves on being able to
Selhurst Park Stadium deliver the finest catering and the most
Whitehorse Lane comprehensive range of Conference
London and Banqueting facilities available. The
SE25 6PU flexibility of our suites, dining rooms
Tel: 020 8768 6000 and executive boxes allow us to tailor
Email: kevin.miller@cpfc.co.uk the requirements of your event to your
Website: www.cpfc.co.uk precise instructions..

GREENWICH
Eltham Palace (English Heritage) This millionaire’s mansion offers a superb
Court Yard, mix of sophisticated art deco interiors
off Court Road and medieval grandeur, set in stunning
Eltham moated gardens. The 1930s house
London adjoins a magnificent 15th century Great
SE9 5QE Hall. It is available to hire during the day
Tel: 0844 824 6729 on an exclusive basis, for lunches and
Website: receptions for 10-300 people. Eltham
www.english-heritage.org.uk/hospitality Palace is easy to reach by rail and road.

HARROW
Broadfields Country Club Broadfields Country Club offers the ideal
Broadfields venue for Funeral Teas. We have handled
Headstone Lane many wakes in recent years each time accom-
Harrow modating the family’s personal require-
Middlesex ments.  Dependent upon the time of day we
HA2 6NN can offer exclusive use of the venue to enable
Tel: 020 8421 5260 the family to have its own privacy. We offer a
Email: info@broadfieldscountryclub.com selection of finger and fork buffet menus and
Website: www.broadfieldscountryclub.com we also cater for special requirements.

HARROW
Premier House Banqueting The complete solution: banquets,
Premier House receptions, conferences, exhibitions and
1 Canning Road corporate events. Licensed until 2am.
Harrow Wealdstone Capacity for up to 500 people.
Middlesex
HA3 7TS
Tel: 020 8427 4237
Email: nickparma@googlemail.com
Website: www.premierhousebanqueting.com

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 63

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 DIRECTORY RECEPTION VENUES

HILLINGDON
Ruislip Manor Sports & Social Club Situated on 12 acres of green space in
Grosvenor Vale the heart of Ruislip, our venue offers a
Ruislip friendly, relaxed and idyllic setting. The
London club has three separate bar areas. The
HA4 6JQ main hall can hold up to 200 people, and
Tel: 01895 637487 the Lounge bar up to 70 people. Either
Email: ruislipmanorssc@aol.com freshly cooked food or a finger buffet can
Website: www.ruislipsocialclub.co.uk be arranged.

HILLINGDON
The Emerald Rooms Function room 1 – capacity 100 people,
The GAA Club Function room 2 – capacity 200 people.
Ruislip We can cater for two functions daily.
Middlesex Car park to hold up to 100 cars. Catering
HA4 6QX can be arranged from a finger buffet to
Tel: 020 8841 2468 a sit down meal. Friendly staff, always
Email: emeraldrooms@btconnect.com willing to help.

HOUNSLOW
Dukes Meadows Golf Club Our elegant and luxurious Promenade
Dukes Meadow Suite is available for private booking.
Dan Mason Drive Catering is provided for up to 170 silver
London service. Receptions are available for up to
W4 2SH 200 guests, as well as smaller parties from
Tel: 020 8994 3314 12 to 80. Ancillary rooms available.
Email: seb.adams@dukesmeadows.com
Website: www.golflessons.co.uk

RICHMOND
Bank of England Sports Centre The Bank of England Sports Centre has
Priory Lane considerable experience in sympatheti-
Roehampton cally attending to your requirements at this
London difficult time. Up to 250 guests in various
SW15 5JQ function spaces Choice of menus and
Tel: 020 8876 8417 refreshments. Complimentary parking.
Email: events@bankofengland.co.uk Direct access for elderly/disabled guests.
Website:
www.bankofenglandsportscentre.co.uk

WIMBLEDON
London Scottish Golf Club The London Scottish Golf Club offers the
Windmill Enclosure historic Victorian Club House, which is
Windmill Road available for funeral receptions and other
Wimbledon Common private functions. A warm and  friendly
London. service awaits, with catering and Bar
SW19 5NQ facilities to suit your requirements.
Tel: 020 8789 7517
Email: secretary.lsgc@btconnect.com
Website: www.londonscottishgolfclub.co.uk

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 WESTMINSTER
The Waldorf Hilton At Hilton, we have a range of banqueting
Aldwych rooms you can choose from for any
London special occasion. It’s the individual
WC2B 4DD touches that make the difference, so if
020 7759 4029 there are particular dishes preferred or
Email: events.waldorf@hilton.com table fireworks at midnight, let us arrange
Website: www.hilton.co.uk/waldorf those details for you.

WESTMINSTER
Wellington Arch (English Heritage) With transport links on the doorstep,
Hyde Park Corner this iconic English Heritage landmark at
London Hyde Park Corner offers a unique appeal
W1J 7JZ for those looking for a very special venue
Tel: 0844 824 6731 to say farewell. Two rooms at the top of
Email:  Wellington Arch, reached by a lift, can
Website: host seated lunches for up to 36 people or
www.english-heritage.org.uk/hospitality buffet receptions for up to 80 – top quality
caterers can meet every requirement.

CATERER Kingston, Fulham and Islington

SCOFF: Funeral Catering Service
Tel: 020 8547 0447
Email: steve@scoff.co.uk
Website: www.scoffdelivers.com
SCOFF offers a discrete, professional ser-
vice to look after all your catering require-
ments at this difficult time. We specialise in
delicious, homemade food prepared from
the best ingredients to suit all numbers and
budgets. We provide a flexible service at
short notice and would be very happy to
discuss your individual requirements to
help you choose the best option.

CATERER MIDDLESEX
A Bit of A Do Catering We are a long established catering com-
47 Cardinals Walk pany serving Richmond and Kinston
Hampton areas, offering sympathetic bereavement
Middlesex receptions. Fork and finger buffet,
TW12 2TT Funeral tea receptions. Menus tailored
Tel: 020 8941 7640 to any requirements. Discreet and
Email: alison@abitofadocatering.com reliable service.
Website: www. abitofadocatering.com

If you require a specific venue, email venues@bereavementtoday.com

and one of our friendly staff will be happy to assist you

B E R E AV E M E N T T OD AY 65

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 Memorials
MEMORIALS & HEADSTONES
& HEADSTONES
A memorial is a lasting monument and a tribute to a person’s life,
and can be an important focal point when coping with grief.
A t some stage in our
lives we will endure the
painful task of having
to choose a memo-
rial or headstone for a
loved one. Before commencing your
search for a memorial/headstone, it is
advisable to check with the cemetery/
churchyard as they often have rules
governing and regulating which kind
of memorials can be erected. These
regulations can vary from place to
place and it is best to seek advice from
your chosen memorial stonemason
who will be able to assist you. You
should also be aware that before a me-
morial may be erected in a churchyard
or cemetery written permission has
to be obtained from it’s management,
The Memorial Group
Tel: 0845 367 0007
www.memorialgroup.com
66
BT1 066-067 Memorials & Headstones.indd 66
again if you have any problems with
this; your chosen stonemason will be
able to assist you.
When selecting a monumental
stonemason for your memorial, we
would advise using a member of the
National Association of Memorial
Masons (NAMM), who are bound by
strict codes of business and working
practice. At Bereavement Today we are
pleased to nominate Rowland Brothers
Tel: 020 8684 1667, and the Memorial
Group Tel: 0845 367 0007.
It is important to obtain a written
estimate clearly setting out full details
of the memorial you are considering
and all the costs involved. The estimate
should include the memorial itself (de-
tails on size and materials), the lettering,
Rowland Brothers
Tel: 020 8684 1667
www.rowlandbrothers.com
any ornamentation and finishes, the
secure installation of the memorial on a
proper foundation and the cemetery or
churchyard fees and VAT.
Responsibility for Memorials
It is important to remember that it is
you and not the cemetery or churchyard
management who is responsible for the
maintenance of your memorial. If the
memorial becomes dilapidated or unsafe,
then certain steps may be taken to lay it
down or remove it. It is therefore wise to
arrange for it to be regularly maintained
and insured. Most memorial masons of-
fer maintenance schemes, usually payable
on an annual basis. Terms will vary but
will generally include regular cleaning
and checking. •
9/8/09 10:59:52 pm
 B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 67

BT1 066-067 Memorials & Headstones.indd 67 9/8/09 10:42:40 pm

 &
MEMORIAL GIFTS & KEEPSAKES

MEMORIAL GIFTS
KEEPSAKES
A selection of unique memorial gifts in memory
of family and friends. These special gifts offer
a way of expressing your love and helping the
bereaved through their time of grief.

Fibrous
Indian Summer are coated with a protective lacquer to
Ceramic urn also available in a ensure durability against the elements. A
sunflower design. range of fixings are available which include
drilled holes, vertical spurs or two threaded
Heart of Gold studs fitted to the rear.
Green and grey glazed ceramic urn.
All our products can be viewed at
Bio-fibre urn www.fibrous.com or contact your local
100% bio degradable, 60% plant fiber. funeral director for our new catalogue.
Starts to degrade within one year. Tested
at the Danish Technological Institute.
Cast Bronze Memorial Plaques
Manufactured using the very best
accredited bronze available. Designed
and produced using the latest technology
combined with traditional casting methods
by highly skilled craftsmen with over 100
years experience in the trade. All plaques

68

BT1 068-070 Gifts & Keepsakes.indd 68 9/8/09 10:24:00 pm

 Shape 2

Shape 5 Shape 4

Sarah Walton
These birdbaths can serve two roles.
Firstly as a Memorial and secondly as
a Cremation urn for human ashes. The
top ceramic section is a  hollow form.
Hidden in its under surface may be fitted
a stopper on which an individual's name
and dates may be inscribed.
The physical scale of the pieces is
massive. Not only are the solid oak bases
very heavy but the birdbaths are 'chunky'
in construction. Norman and Saxon
fonts have played a part in their concep-
tion. Their power as Monuments comes
from their dual qualities of tenderness
and austerity.
Initially we can send you reliable digital
images of current stock by email to help
you to an informed choice. Depending
on where you live you may instead
decide to visit the workshop to see
pieces for yourself.
 Prices include the pedestal wood base.
 As a Memorial, shapes 1, 2, 3 and 5 are
£997, while shape 4. is £1225.
 When modified to also serve as a
Cremation urn each is £100 more.
Packing and delivery within mainland
United Kingdom is a further £100 per piece.
Sarah Walton
Keepers, Bo-peep Lane, Alciston,
Nr. Polegate, East Sussex, BN26 6UH.
Tel/Fax: 01323 811517
Shape 4 Email: sarah.s.walton@btinternet.com

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 69

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 MEMORIAL GIFTS & KEEPSAKES

Andrew Vaccari
Amplifier Urn
When Andrew Vaccari was asked to make something
befitting for a friend’s cremation ashes he came up with this.
His friend was a guitarist and a great lover of music so what
could be more appropriate than a Marshall styled amplifier.
Andrew Vaccari has been making a name for himself over
the years in bespoke funeral ware. He has specialised in the
medium of paper pulp and as well as making architectural
features, functional design products and sculpture or
pulpture, he has also found a niche in fulfilling the desires of
relatives of the dead or the dying wishes of individuals.
Tel: 01363 777746
Email: info@vaccari.co.uk
www.vaccari.co.uk

Sentimental Connections
Sentimental Connections has brought an age-old
tradition up to date by fi xing a lock of hair in a clear, hard
polymer, surrounded by a gold or silver setting.
Sentimental Connections is a
leading supplier of hand crafted
memorial jewellery.
For further information:
Tel: 01159 172979
Fax: 01159 163109
Email:
info@sentimentalconnections.com
www.sentimentalconnections.com

Memorial benches by 4MemorialBench provide a unique way to preserve memories for over 40 years. Prices start from £249 including carved inscription.
For further information call 01564 784852. Website: www.4memorialbench.co.uk

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 Memory
F R O M FA D I N G
Amongst the special things we keep are our photographs.
I MMORTILE share the love that
cherished photographs hold for
most families and recognise, in par-
ticular, how certain images of loved
ones hold precious memories.
The IMMORTILE offers more than the
photograph. An old process − as old as
photography itself − has been harnessed
now by today’s technology to show a way
in which we can take pride in a picture
and the memory that the image reflects.
From simply clay and glaze, the
extraordinary IMMORTILE faithfully
creates a beautiful and permanent
sculpture from a photograph. The
image is transformed into a ceramic
relief. A tactile surface that is both
rewarding to feel and reassuring to
view. It elevates the picture, as if you
are touching its memory.
The enduring IMMORTILE is a
Ceramic Photograph. Each commission
is registered, stamped and archived as a
numbered edition. Years later, the ceramic
can be recreated for each future genera-
tion of the family. IMMORTILE have
established an archive which in time will
“I KEEP SOME SPECIAL THINGS
T H AT R E M I N D M E O F T H E G O O D
TIMES WE SPENT TOGETHER”
The IMMORTILE
ceramic photograph
can be wall-mounted
IMMORTILE − to give, to have and to hold.
B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY
BT1 071 Immortile.indd 71
IMMORTILE
S AV E A
allow for family trees to be researched and
collected, many years after their start.
Sometimes with original photographs,
only one remains − often in poor condi-
tion − to which whole families wish to
lay claim; and photographic copies never
measure up to the intrinsic value of the
original. IMMORTILE presents a new and
wonderful way to recreate and re-celebrate
family picture portraits that generation
upon generation can cherish and admire.
Mount or display wherever you wish,
at home, on the wall in the garden; for
enduring interment or headstone; a IMMORTILE Limited
marker to tree; a keepsake or touch- Unit 4 Salisbury House, Salisbury Road
stone; or by the hearth at the fireside. Newton Abbot, Devon, TQ12 2DF
Any place where you have time to spend Tel: 01626 366330
and remember. They are vitrified and Email: enquiries@immortile.com
guaranteed to last both inside and out; www.immortile.com
all weathers, wherever and forever.
Excellent customer service is offered
with full image support; through
edit and restoration to enhancement
and completion.
Available in a range of monochrome
colours, two plaques are always supplied
and additional are cost reduced.
The IMMORTILE Ceramic
Photograph is formed through the
Patented Process No. GB 2404610. It is
an English made, hand finished product;
manufactured with the skill and tradi-
tion of the English potteries.
To view detail of all that is offered,
please contact IMMORTILE by
visiting the website, sending enquiry
or discussing it over the telephone. •
71
9/8/09 10:41:51 pm
 Flowers
FUNERAL FLOWERS
& FLORAL TRIBUTES
Flowers are synonymous with funerals
and yet, increasingly, families are requesting
donations to chosen charities instead.
Louise Voss looks at the options.
A wreath or floral tribute of
some description is prob-
ably one of the first things
anyone associates with a
funeral. Indeed, flowers
have always been a major part of the
burial traditions of most cultures (with
the notable exception of Judaism – it is
not traditional to send flowers to a Jew-
ish funeral, but baskets of fruit or food
instead). Their widespread popularity is
not only due to their visual beauty, but
because herbal and floral essences were
also once used to anoint the deceased,
and their scents used for practical as
well as aesthetic purposes.
Flowers laid on the John Lennon Memorial in Central Park, New York
72
BT1 072-074 Funeral Flowers.indd 72
There is no denying the emotive impact
of flowers at a funeral. Many people still
remember the three simple white wreaths
on Princess Diana’s flag-draped coffin; or
the stunning blanket of five hundred blue
irises on singer Michael Hutchence’s, with
one poignant tiger-lily in their midst as his
daughter’s namesake. Wreaths from rela-
tives describing the deceased’s relationship
to them – ‘MUM’, ‘DAD’, ‘SON’, etc. – are
still popular. These can be expensive
though: on Interflora’s website the price
listed for a ‘Dad’ floral tribute is £120, and
for ‘Mum’, interestingly, an additional £15,
at £135 – small wonder, then, that you
rarely see one reading ‘DAUGHTER’.
Wreaths and family flowers
There are a bewilderingly large number
of options open to anybody wanting
to pay their respects to the deceased,
or as a gesture of support for their
families. As the website Aboutflowers.
com suggests, floral tributes often vary
stylistically from region to region, so
it is best to take advice from a local
florist on what is appropriate for a
particular funeral, and any restrictions
the cemetery or funeral home may
have. The undertaker may have taken
specific instructions from the next of
kin, so it is also worth checking with
them. Wreaths for the casket itself tend
to be reserved for family members or
particularly close friends, and it would
be considered insensitive to order some-
thing for the casket without consulting
the family first.
Standard wreaths, sprays of flowers, and
posies remain the most popular options,
and range in average price from £30-£80
depending on size or colour. Florists are
happy to work in colours of the customer’s
choice, or, if local, they may well know in
advance the colour schemes already speci-
fied by the family for the funeral. Were a
customer to request unusual flowers or
tributes, the florist would need as much
notice as possible.
Unusual floral tributes
These days it is possible to ask for
pretty much anything in the way of a
9/8/09 10:25:14 pm
 B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 73

BT1 072-074 Funeral Flowers.indd 73 9/8/09 10:25:26 pm

 FUNERAL FLOWERS

tribute, and there is a growing trend in

requesting something that reflects the
personality or hobbies of the deceased;
often something fairly outlandish.
Alison Picknell, who has been a florist
in Surrey for 20 years, says: “You can
make most things if you use chicken
wire and moss, with a ‘basing’ of double
chrysanthemums. I’ve done all sorts of
things: a ladder and bucket for a win-
dow cleaner; an angel; horses’ heads;
glasses of brandy; a football shirt in the
deceased’s favourite team’s colours. I
once made a whole pub, down to the
little window boxes!”
It is a nice idea, but the more unusual
tributes don’t come cheap – upwards of
£80 depending on size and complexity.
For example, Interflora charge £85
for a little blue and white teddy bear,
£150 for a football, and £200 for a
motor car made out of double spray
chrysanthemums and carnations. It is
a good idea for groups known to the
deceased, ie. work colleagues, or fellow
club members, to pool their resources to
buy one impressive tribute, rather than
many smaller ones. There may well not For readers who would like donations
be enough room on the accompanying made to a charity in lieu of flowers
card to write all the individual names, in we have nominated a few of the UK’s
which case it is more appropriate to put: favourite charities:
‘From your friends at the gym’ or ‘From
the whole department’ (make sure that The Blue Cross
www.bluecross.org.uk
there is at least one name and contact Tel: 01993 822 651
address, so the family can write a letter
of thanks afterwards). Breakthrough Breast Cancer
There are other options, though. If www.breakthrough.org.uk/donate
the deceased has been in a nursing or old Tel: 08080 100 200
people’s home, a nice idea is to buy flowers
in small bunches which can later be dis- The Royal British Legion
www.britishlegion.org.uk
tributed amongst the other residents of the Tel: 0845 845 1945
home. And it is always important to check
the announcement of the death, or ask
the family as, increasingly these days, only
‘private’ flowers are requested, – i.e. flowers “ S TA N D A R D W R E AT H S , S P R AY S O F
just from close family – and a charitable
donation is preferred in lieu of other floral FLOWERS, AND POSIES REMAIN
tributes. If so, it is still acceptable to send a
bunch or posy of flowers to the next of kin’s
THE MOST POPULAR OPTIONS”
home as a declaration of love and support
for them in their time of trial, but just not could always buy a tree from a garden tributes at the funeral itself. Differing
wreaths to the actual funeral. centre and plant it yourself, with prior preferences for the two options tend to
Another perfectly acceptable alterna- permission from the local authority if in be regional: inner city florists receive far
tive might be to send a pot plant of a public place. Even if there is no plaque fewer requests for elaborate tributes/
some description to the undertakers, attached to it, family and friends can still wreaths than do suburban florists, and
to be delivered to the family after the be made aware of the significance of it as the general consensus of opinion is that
funeral. Or something entirely different a gesture, and as something by which to younger city-dwellers spend far less on
and non-organic: naming a star after remember the deceased. flowers when they do request them. It
the deceased; buying a seat in their is the more elderly suburban or country
name at their favourite theatre or sports Donations to charity demographic that spend the most
ground; or a bench in a park they used On the whole, however, the trend is money, as the traditional notion still
to love (although all of those options are still towards giving money to a char- holds firm that flowers are synonymous
considerably pricier than flowers). You ity of choice, as well as some floral with funerals. •

74

BT1 072-074 Funeral Flowers.indd 74 9/8/09 10:25:31 pm

 Have you left anyone out of your Will?
Since 1897 The Blue Cross has been
at the forefront in animal welfare.
Every year our animal hospitals provide
thousands of free veterinary treatments
for pets whose owners cannot afford
private vets’ bills. And our adoption
centres take in thousands of homeless
and unwanted pets. We look after them
until loving new homes can be found,
no matter how long it takes – The Blue
Cross will never put a healthy animal to
sleep just because it has no home.

The Blue Cross gets no Government

funding and relies instead on the generosity
of its supporters. By leaving a gift to The
Blue Cross in your Will you can help to
secure the future for thousands of animals.
And of course, if you need us to, we will be
there for your special companion too.

Return the coupon or write to the address below to receive

our FREE Will-writing and information pack.

❏ Please send me your FREE advice & information pack on making or amending a Will and
leaving a gift to The Blue Cross.

Name (Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms)

Address

Postcode

Telephone No.

Send to: Catherine Wallis, The Blue Cross,

Freepost OF224, Room L364,
Shilton Road, Burford, Oxon OX18 4BR
Or please call 01993 825594 and quote L364
www.bluecross.org.uk
The Blue Cross is a charity registered in England
and Wales (224392) and in Scotland (SC040154).
 Today
A Y E A R A G O T O D AY

A YEAR AGO

James Clark reflects on love, loss and life

without his beloved wife, Edwina.

T oday is the first anniver-

sary of my wife’s death.
Edwina’s headstone was
finally installed at the
grave last Friday and today
I took our daughter, Sophie, down to the
grave for a service; the Anglican priest
who buried her a year ago was there to
bless the memorial for us. It was just the
three of us, in the rain, under umbrellas.
Sophie rose to the occasion. She
seemed to understand, in her own four-
year-old fashion, that you had to be quiet
while the priest said the prayers. On one
occasion she started talking and I put my
finger to my lips − she understood. So
By the time I got upstairs to make sure
that the outfit would be warm enough
for a winter afternoon outdoors, the
entire contents of her dressing up boxes
(times two) were emptied onto the floor.
She was in a fairy-queen hat; princess-
ballerina dress, polka-dot shocking-pink
tights, purple heart-shaped shades and
pinky-purple floral wellies. I can just
imagine the smile on my wife's face.
We stopped for flowers and the two
hour drive went well thanks to a Disney
cassette and some sweets. The prayers
are still resonating: In the faith of Christ
we dedicate this Memorial Stone to the
glory of God and in memory of Edwina;

“ T h e A n g l i c a n f u n era l l i t u rgy
i s b ea u t i f u l . T h ere ' s s i m p l i c i ty
a n d h u m i l i ty to i t ”
much so that whenever I intoned any of
the responses (the Thanks Be To Gods,
as well as the Lord, Have Mercies and the
Amens) she looked at me sternly, put her
own finger to her own lips and hissed out
a long "Sshhhhhhh!” at me. Every time.
There were 13 responses in all!
I had in mind that I was going to dress
us both in a plain and dignified kind of
sombre-chic for the occasion. I wore
black trousers and a smart shirt under
my overcoat. Sophie had other ideas: "I
want to wear some dressing up clothes;
my Princess Ballerina dress, because
Mummy will love that won't she Daddy?"
in the name of the Father and of the Son
and of the Holy Spirit.
The Anglican funeral liturgy is beauti-
ful. There's simplicity and humility to
it: Heavenly Father, we thank you for all
those whom we love but see no longer.
As we remember Edwina in this place,
hold before us our beginning and our
ending, the dust from which we come
and the death to which we move, with
a firm hope in your eternal love and
purposes for us, in Jesus Christ our Lord.
A cup of tea in the beautiful, warm
church followed. I gave the priest a card
with a small gift inside. I wrote: Thanks
In February 2006 James Clark lost his
wife, Edwina, to Cystic Fibrosis after 13
years of marriage. She was 43 years old.
Edwina lived a very full life as a de-
voted mother to their daughter Sophie
(who was aged three and a half when
her mother died). Edwina was also a
busy chartered counselling and forensic
psychologist in private practice.
James Clark is a teacher and chaplain at
a boys’ school in rural Dorset.
Sophie is now a lively, inquisitive seven-
year-old. She talks about her mum a lot
and knows that she’s a lot like her. That
makes her proud because her mum was
beautiful, clever and funny!
If you would like to get in touch
with James, you can email him on:
jrqclark@yahoo.co.uk

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BT1 076-077 A Year Ago Today.indd 76 9/8/09 10:26:04 pm

 for being such a good priest to us, and to
Edwina. We talked a little theology and
he wished us well.
Sophie and I then laid flowers − the first
in the new flower container in the base of
the Portland stone. I chose red roses and
Sophie chose daffodils. They looked stun-
ning with the inscription from the Song of
Solomon showing through behind them:
'Place me like a seal over your heart, like
a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as
death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.'
And so it is.
Sophie told me she wanted to die for
love of her Mummy on the way back
in the car. I have taught her how to say
Cystic Fibrosis and she knows it's a very
bad sickness that her Mummy died from.
"I want to get Cystic Fibrosis, with
you, Daddy − when I am older. Then we
can all die and see Mummy and live in
our house again."
She repeats herself, over and over, for
at least the last half hour of our journey;
as we get closer to our lonely house that is
crying out for her mother's warmth and
joy. She wants me to understand and I do.
I remember the Anglican prayers
again and pray them, silently, for my
wounded, grieving daughter: 'May the
love of God and the peace of the Lord
Jesus Christ bless and console you, and
all those who have known and loved
Edwina, this day and for evermore.'
I have never prayed a prayer as ear-
nestly as I prayed that one. I also have to
tell her that her Mummy wants her to live
and to love and learn and laugh. I tell her
that Mummy does not want Sophie to
get sick and hurt too much. Her Mummy
wants Sophie to make her a Granny.
Sophie, however, doesn't really want
to hear that today. She has found a way
to tell me that a part of her wants to die
because her mother has died. For the first
time in a year she has found a way to put
her ache and her loss into words: "I want
to be sick with Cystic Fibrosis and to die
too Daddy − so I can be with Mummy -
then she will be happy, won't she daddy?"
I say: "Your Mummy will be very
happy when she sees you again, my love;
but I hope that won't be for a long time.
When we are old we will both die and
then we will see her again."
"Will we get Cystic Fibrosis?"
"No, sweet-pea. We won't get it."
"Oh!" Her disappointment is real.
"But we might die of something a bit
like that when we are very old."
"Okay, then."
Love is as strong as death, its jealousy
unyielding as the grave. •

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 Talking
TA L K I N G T O C H I L D R E N A B O U T L O S S
TO CHILDREN ABOUT
You may think there’s never a good time to talk to children about
death, but they will benefit from the chance to ask questions.
Larissa Khatchik has some helpful suggestions.
D eath is a certainty in life
and children need to
understand this. Talking
to children about this
will prepare them for
something that is inevitable and it will
allow them to develop an understanding
of life. Teaching them about this topic
is a difficult task but it is an important
responsibility for every parent or guardian.
The age to talk to your children about
death is down to you. It is best to discuss
what it is before it is experienced so that
you have a clear mind and you can ensure
“CHILDREN WILL ASK QUESTIONS,
T H E Y A R E C U R I O U S . I T I S I M P O RTA N T
TO B E A S H O N E S T A S P O S S I B L E ”
that your children gain some sort of
understanding. Discussing death when
it has already occurred may confuse
your children, they will have to deal with
emotion and at the same time develop an
understanding of the situation. Preparing
them may appear to taint their inno-
cence, but children do have a basic view
of death before you have brought it to
their attention. They play games at school
or in the home, and may play dead in
games, also some children have consoles
and they will kill the bad guy. From this
78
BT1 078-079 Talking to Children.indd 78
Loss
experience they need to
develop a mature and
realistic understanding.
If you are going to
discuss death with
young children you
should avoid using
euphemisms such as
‘gone to a better place,’
so they understand
what you are saying,
it might be best to
speak plainly by using words such as
‘dead’ and ‘death’ so that they are not
confused and have a clear picture. You
should tailor your explanation to their
age, it might be helpful to describe
the life cycle of a plant and then apply
that explanation to all other living
things. Children will ask questions,
they are curious. It is important to be
as honest as possible, you should not
be afraid to answer their questions
as they may ask where loved ones go
after they have died, and depending
on your beliefs this may lead to deeper
and religious questions.
As well as explaining
death it is also important
to tell your children about
the emotions they may
feel when a death occurs.
You need to reiterate
that sadness and hurt are
natural feelings and that
they can turn to others for
support. A child’s response
to death may be similar
to an adult’s as they might
blame themselves and ask for their
loved ones to return. You need to make
sure they understand that their loved
one will not be coming back and they
cannot wish them back, this is essential
as your children may hold some hope
for their loved ones return, and this
will be followed by disappointment
and more upset. Remember to tell your
children that although death does occur
it does not mean that they will forget
about their loved ones, memories will
stay with them.
You may find that your child is fixated
about death, if this happens you need to
tackle the situation by explaining again
that it is a part of life. You will need to
create a balance for them by talking to
them about life, or giving them some-
thing to look forward to by planning a
family day out. This balance is essential
so they are not obsessed and become
fearful of death. •
9/8/09 10:26:46 pm
 TALKING TO TEENAGERS ABOUT LOSS
Teenagers will be aware of the concept of death from music, movies and books or
perhaps the loss of a much loved pet.
When a death occurs, they will not need the same basic discussions as younger
children but it will help to talk.
Teenagers, however, can be uncommunicative at the best of times, so adults need to
remain vigilant about any changes in behaviour, such as sleeping habits, eating habits,
study habits or changes in the levels of socialising.
Anti-social behaviour can also be a teenager’s way of acting out his or her emotions. So,
regularly approach your teenage child with an opportunity to talk about how they are
feeling. If they are not willing to open up or are uncomfortable about doing so they may
benefit from seeing a grief counsellor to help them deal with their bereavement.
Teenagers need help to work through their grief and to remember the deceased in
some special way, say by writing a poem or planting a tree. But if they will not open up to
someone close, do consider getting professional help.

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 79

BT1 078-079 Talking to Children.indd 79 9/8/09 10:26:56 pm

 Stages
F I V E S TA G E S O F G R I E F

FIVE

OF GRIEF
There are five stages of grief
that most people go through
after losing a loved one.
Larissa Khatchik looks at
what to expect and where
you can go for help.

80

BT1 080-081 Five Stages of Grief.indd 80 11/8/09 12:41:47 pm

 G rief is a natural reaction
to losing a loved one and
how you deal with it is
a personal experience.
There are stages of grief
that are commonly experienced, the
Kubler-Ross Cycle explains each stage
and how people can cope with each one
but as Paul Williams of Cruse Bereave-
ment Care, says, ‘every bereavement
is unique’, so it could help to talk to an
expert about your particular circum-
stances for more detailed advice.
Grief is a difficult, healing process that
will take time. You may not experience
each of these stages or even in this
order but it may help identify different
emotions and how to come to terms
with your loss.
When a death of a loved one occurs
there could be an immediate shock and
numbing feeling. This is natural and
could lead to denial. Initially, you may
find you cannot accept that they are
actually gone. You might question why
this is happening to you. This denial
can lead to the belief that a loved one
has left you. Some believe that they will
still come home. Accepting your loss
could take some time, this depends
on the individual but it could become
more apparent when you are faced with
attending the funeral or their cremation.
Once you have experienced this stage it
is then followed by anger.
Dealing with overwhelming anger
is a normal part of dealing with the
loss of a loved one. Anger is a consum-
ing emotion, where your anger is
targeted is down to the individual.
You may find yourself lashing out at
the medical staff that supported your
loved one, co-workers, other family
members or even yourself. Your life
will be disrupted by this loss and
your anger could be about how you
are dealing with the situation. Once
you have dealt with this stage you will
then move onto bargaining.
This stage can occur before and
after death. If someone has been
diagnosed with a terminal illness,
loved ones may turn to their religious
beliefs and attempt to make a deal, “I
will...if you let them live.” After death
you could still be in this stage by
making a bargain to take the pain of
grief away, or to bring your loved one
back. When you realise that this stage
B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY
BT1 080-081 Five Stages of Grief.indd 81
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Cruse Bereavement Care’s national
helpline manager Paul Williams answers
some frequently asked questions:
I know that my loved one has died,
but I can't accept it. What advice
can you give to someone who is
experiencing this stage?
It is not unusual for it to take time to sink
in that a loved one has died. We can often
be in shock or numb in the early days.
However we will gradually realise that the
person has died and will begin to cope
and adapt without our loved one. In our
experience it is not unusual for someone
who is bereaved to expect someone to still
be there for some time after they have died.
You may find it helpful to talk to a friend or
a bereavement support organisation about
how you are feeling.
Who can the person turn to if they
are alone, or feel that they can't rely
on others?
If we are bereaved and have no-one to talk
to or we have family and friends but we
cannot turn to them or rely on them it can
be very helpful to speak to Cruse Bereave-
ment Care who have a National Helpline
and branches of bereavement support
workers. It can be so helpful to talk to
someone outside the situation on a face to
face basis. It enables us to explore our grief
and offers ways that might help us cope a
little more.
What advice would you give to
someone who is dealing with over-
whelming anger?
For many people who are bereaved anger
can be one of the most difficult emotions.
Anger may be directed at various people
such as the person who has died (eg for
leaving them), other people (eg relatives
who let the bereaved person or us down
does not work you may move on the
next stage which is depression.
Whether you are expecting or
dealing with the death of a loved one,
the most common stage of grief is
depression. Depression can last for
a long time. You may find that you
cannot cope with your daily routine,
and this could lead to you eating and
sleeping less. Sadness can take many
forms and it can affect you mentally
and physically. If you find that depres-
sion is making life seem worthless and
you cannot cope with these emotions,
you should contact your GP for advice,
counselling and possible medication.
before the death or professionals who
were not caring enough). We might also be
angry with ourselves. Anger can sometimes
be related to regret or guilt.
It is important if we can recognise our
anger and if possible diffuse it. Talking
to a friend or a bereavement support
organisation could be very helpful if the
anger persists. Some people find walking
or writing down how they are feeling to
be helpful. You may be able to direct your
anger into something constructive, for
some people it can motivate them to do
things.
I have accepted the loss of my loved
one, but I am afraid to move on with my
life because I feel guilty, what can I do?
There is a very delicate balance between
the pain of the loss of a loved one and
beginning to adjust to life without them.
In the early days the pain may be all
consuming and we feel we can not cope
or even begin to look to the future. It is
not unusual to feel guilty later when we
begin to have that new and changed life
We might feel that if we begin to look to
the future that we are being disrespectful
to the person who has died. Gradually we
will give ourselves permission to look to
the future.
Some people find it helpful to ask
themselves the questions “What would my
loved one have wanted?” and “Would they
have wanted me to begin to look to the
future whilst also remembering them?”
Cruse Bereavement Care is a charity offering
free help and advice to bereaved people. This
year they are celebrating 50 years of ‘restoring
hope’ to those who have suffered loss.
National helpline: 0844 477 9400
Young person’s freephone helpline:
0808 808 1677
Website: www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk
Whether it takes weeks, months or
years to battle through depression the
final stage is acceptance.
This is the stage when you come to
terms with your loss, this may take time
but you will eventually come to accept
that your loved one is no longer with
you. This does not mean that you will
forget about them. You may find your-
self emotional again and reliving some
of the previous stages, but this is normal
and can be triggered by a photograph,
birthday, anniversary or family gather-
ings. It is important that you deal with
each emotion you experience so you are
able to move on. •
81
11/8/09 12:42:07 pm
 Jewellery
REMEMBRANCE JEWELLERY
REMEMBRANCE
There’s long been a tradition of remembering loved ones
with a treasured keepsake. John Hemmingway looks at the
latest developments in remembrance jewellery.
P eople have always looked for
special ways to remember
lost loved ones. Today, there
is a refreshing change in
attitudes to the once taboo
subject of death. Developments in new
technology are revolutionising the way
we celebrate the lives of loved ones.
The cultural origins of this could lie
in the fact that the baby-boomers are
starting to face up to their own mortal-
ity – and the generation which changed
the way we look at life is now changing
the way we deal with death.
Using cremated ashes or locks of
hair to create items of jewellery is
“ T h i s ba s i c h u man i n s t i nct i s
f i n d i n g a ne w e x p re s s i o n i n a
var i et y o f attract i v e way s ”
something that is gaining popular-
ity and it has its roots in a strong
human tradition of wanting to keep
something tangible of the departed in
everyday life.
This basic human instinct is finding a
new expression in a variety of attractive
ways, thanks to the inventiveness
of a number of forward-looking
companies, which offer
choices to create memorial
jewellery, which can be worn
with pride.
I was recently looking
through mementos left by a
favourite aunt, who died a few
months short of her hundredth birthday.
82
BT1 082-083 Remembrance Jewellery.indd 82
There, in a tiny box, was a lock of hair
which belonged to her beloved fiancé,
who was killed in the First World War. It
had probably never seen the light of day
since 1918.
Earlier generations never had
the choices available today. Now a
treasured lock of hair can be mounted
in a beautiful piece of jewellery, to be
worn daily as a highly individual and
unique memento.
Cremated ashes would once have been
viewed as a highly unlikely ingredient of
memorial jewellery. But these days there
is a variety of attractive ways to incorpo-
rate cremated ashes into jewellery.
Ashes or hair can be turned into
diamonds – with the very appropriate
message “Diamonds are Forever”. It
is an expensive process, but for those
who choose to remember loved ones
this way, it is a timeless expression of
everlasting love and remembrance.
Adding cremated ashes to glass is
another established way of creating a
lasting memorial from mortal remains,
as part of a pendant or a ring.
One of the newest companies to emerge
recently sets the ashes or hair in a clear, hard
polymer, which then forms the centrepiece
of an item of gold or silver jewellery.
This non-destructive process doesn’t
involve high degrees of heat and leaves
the ashes and hair intact.
There is a new openness in the way in
which we confront the issues and prac-
ticalities of death. Funeral professionals
now offer clients the opportunity to
discuss wider options about what to do
with cremated ashes.
This is something that benefits both
the professionals and the bereaved. Many
funeral directors are left with unclaimed
ashes from hundreds of funerals – simply
because the question of what to do with
them hasn’t been resolved.
Agreeing to turn a portion of
cremated ashes into jewellery
at the funeral planning
stage raises awareness
of the issue. It leaves
the client free to keep
or scatter ashes in the
traditional way, while at
the same time preserving
a small portion to form part
of a very special memento. •
9/8/09 10:28:42 pm
 ETERNITY CRYSTAL
From left to right:
Scattered Ashes in crystal glass pendant
with freshwater pearl on 45cm chain.
Approx 20x20mm. Available in clear, pink,
aqua & green. Silver £320; 9ct Gold £440
Scattered Ashes in crystal glass charm.
Approx 10x10mm. Available in clear, pink,
aqua & green. Silver £199; 9ct Gold £285
Embossed Heart Ashes in crystal glass charm.
Approx 10x10mm. Available in clear with
freshwater pearls. Silver £225; 9ct Gold £315
For further information Tel: 01458 210830
www.eternitycrystal.com

SENTIMENTAL CONNECTIONS
Hair
Sentimental Connections has brought
an age-old tradition up to date by fixing
a lock of hair in a clear, hard polymer,
surrounded by a gold or silver setting.
Pendant and Cuff Links
Cremated ashes set in polymer create
the attractive gem-like centrepiece for
pendants, brooches or cuff links in a gold
or silver surround.
For further information Tel: 01159 172979
www.sentimentalconnections.com

LIFEGEM
LifeGem has been around for 9 years,
they invented this process. Since launch
we have served over 2,000 families and
delivered over 3,500 LifeGem diamonds
across the world. Diamonds can be cre-
ated from Ashes or hair. There are several
sizes and colours to choose from.
LifeGem has already created three
diamonds from a museum sample of hair
of Beethoven. They are currently creating
a diamond from the Ashes of a pre
historic polar bear for a university. They
have been asked by the same museum if
they will create a diamond from a lock of
Michael Jackson's hair.
LifeGem uses the most up-to-date
laboratories in the world to create the
highest quality of diamonds available.
Each one is individually created for you
to your specifications. LifeGem is the
ultimate memorial available in the world.
For further information Tel 0845 230 4962
www.lifegem.com

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 83

BT1 082-083 Remembrance Jewellery.indd 83 9/8/09 10:29:19 pm

 Donate
D O N AT E I N M E M O R Y
Flowers at a funeral are a beautiful tribute, but too many can
seem a waste. Why not follow the trend and instead request
donations be given to a charity in memory of your loved one.
A wreath or floral tribute
is one of the first things
anyone associates with a
funeral. Indeed flowers
have always been a major
part of the burial traditions of most
cultures. However it is becoming in-
creasingly popular for floral tributes and
flowers to be sent by the close family,
and for charitable donations preferred
in lieu of other floral tributes.
Donating in memory of a loved one
is a positive and rewarding way of cel-
ebrating the life of someone important
to you. If your loved one was concerned
about particular worthwhile causes
during their lifetime, it will be especially
appropriate and meaningful.
The team at Bereavement Today
are pleased to nominate some of the
UK's favourite charities that can offer
84
BT1 084 Donate in Memory.indd 84
I N M E M O RY
a personal memorial, where you can
invite your family and friends to join
you in donating in memory of a loved
one dearly missed. Alternatively you
can instruct those who would like
to give in memory to send cheques
directly to the charity.
Once a gift has been donated in
memory of someone, the charity will send
The Blue Cross
Freepost OF224
Room L364
Shilton Road
Burford
OX18 4BR
Tel: 01993 825594
www.bluecross.org.uk
an acknowledgement to you. They will The Royal British Legion
also send a letter or card to the family or 199 Borough High Street
London
next of kin, unless you advise otherwise. SE1 1AA
At Bereavement Today Magazine we Tel: 0203 207 2255
are pleased to nominate a few of the www.britishlegion.org.uk/inmemory
UK’s favourite charities that do fantastic
work for the community and can put Breakthrough Breast Cancer
to good use any donations in lieu of 246 High Holburn
flowers or legacy. To know more about London
how your gift or legacy could help or WC1 7EX
Call 0207 025 2444
to send a donation, please find contact www.breakthrough.org.uk
details listed. •
9/8/09 10:29:53 pm
BT1 024 Stationery.indd 85 10/8/09 2:04:03 am
 Writing
WRITING & DELIVERING A EULOGY
& DELIVERING
A EULOG Y
Delivering a eulogy may not be easy, but it is a great
opportunity to celebrate a loved one’s life.
G reat eulogies make
funerals even more
memorable and can be
remarkable, moving
experiences for both
the speaker and the audience. For
instance, most people remember the
powerful eulogy Charles Spencer
gave at his sister Princess Diana’s
funeral. It is a misconception that
eulogies are delivered at most
funerals, unfortunately this is not so,
as quite often families are not able to
find someone who is willing and able
to write and deliver a eulogy. Some
families go without, and others ask
“Your affection and love for
the deceased person must be
f e lt b y e v e ry o n e l i s t e n i n g ”
clergy to undertake the task, even
though they may not have known
the deceased. The results are usually
much better if the task is carried
out by a family member or friend
of the deceased.
If you have been asked to write and
deliver a eulogy, you should accept
this invitation as an honour knowing
that your eulogy will touch and live
long in the memory of all those who
hear it. Bereavement Today offers a
few ideas and tips that will give you
extra confidence when sharing your
thoughts and memories of a loved one
with your audience.
86
BT1 086-087 Writing and Delivering a Eulogy.indd 86
How to write a eulogy
A truly memorable eulogy takes careful
preparation and should contain the
many reasons why the deceased was
well loved and will be missed by the
people around him.
Eulogies may be written in various
ways, some people come up with
serious speeches honoring the
deceased person, while others show
the humorous side of the deceased
person. The most well received eulogy
is a combination of both since death
should not be a reason to be sad, but
a celebration of a life well lived. A
sprinkling of funny anecdotes may
be included to lighten the mood of
the gathering.
One should devote some time with
the deceased person's other family
members to gather biographical facts
and other personal data you need to
include in the eulogy.
We recommend that you give
a theme to your speech, you may
choose to focus on a particular aspect
of life of the deceased. For example,
if you were best friends since school
or college, then talk about all the
good times you had together and
how you helped each other during
those years. If you worked together,
9/8/09 10:31:04 pm
 then talk about how good they were
at their job, their ambition to do
well, along with some humorous
work-related moments that you both
shared. Speak from the heart and do
not embellish your story with half
truths so that your sincerity will be
reflected in your eulogy. Your affec-
tion and love for the deceased person
must be felt by everyone listening to
your speech.
Once you have gathered all the data
needed for your eulogy, then prepare
an outline. This will enable you to
understand how your eulogy should
flow, then write your eulogy and keep
re-writing it until your work is exactly
as you want it. Then practice in front
of a friend or relative so that you can
see if improvements or additional
editing needs to be made.

Delivering a eulogy
Delivering a eulogy you have written
is a task that most people will find
extremely difficult. Public speaking
is not easy at the best of times, but to
stand up in front of a group of people
that you may or may not know and to
share your emotions with them whilst,
at the same time, grieving yourself takes
considerable courage.
Whether you deliver serious or
funny anecdotes, write notes to help
you remember, as it can be a struggle
to keep your composure, making notes
will help you focus.
Sometimes you can have too much
material on this person who touched
your life, try and keep relatively short,
this way your message will be precise,
clear and stick in the minds of your
audience. It is a good idea to practice
your eulogy in front of a friend or
relative, if this makes you nervous
practice in front of a mirror. If you
feel you may not be able to carry it
through due to emotions, put some-
one on standby as this will put your
mind at ease.
Finally take a deep breath and
just be yourself, however much you
feel you cannot do it, we all have an
unlimited source of strength to call
upon. While the eulogy is about your
memories and love for the deceased,
keep in mind your eulogy is a tribute
to the person who has passed on, and
if all your practice fails and you cry,
that is alright too. Remember if you
feel yourself struggling with grief,
take a moment, compose yourself and
continue with the speech. •

87

BT1 086-087 Writing and Delivering a Eulogy.indd 87 9/8/09 10:31:16 pm

 Funeral
FUNERAL PLANS

P urchasing a pre-paid funeral

plan now ensures your fam-
ily is relieved of the many
arrangements and costs that
have to be made, and also
allows you to make any special requests.
The Funeral Plan is a straightforward

PLANS
way of continuing to look after your
family and make sure your own personal
wishes are carried out when you are
gone. By taking a pre-paid funeral plan
now you can take advantage of today’s
prices and avoid soaring funeral costs
in the future. Planning for your funeral Why not take the burden of cost and decision
in advance ensures your funeral will
happen exactly as you intended and making away from close family by organising
at the same time make the funeral
arrangements for your family far easier your own final send off.
to deal with.
When making your funeral plan there
are many options open to you, you may
choose a conventional hearse, a horse-
drawn carriage or even a VW Camper
(see our feature on funeral transport), a
willow or mahogany coffin or many other
options (see our feature on coffins), a
churchyard burial or a woodland burial
or a special place to scatter your ashes.
A funeral plan provides you with an op-
portunity to decide on every detail and
personalise the day as you would want it.
At Bereavement Today Magazine we
are pleased to recommend Golden
Leaves Funeral Plans as an excellent
product, which provides great value
combined with flexibility to
make changes at any time.
For further information
contact Golden Leaves
Funeral Plans on Tel
0800 85 44 48 or email:
info@goldenleaves.co.uk •

TOP TIPS
◆ Make sure you have a written record
of the arrangements and keep it safe,
you should receive a funeral plan
confirmation.
◆ It is a good idea to ensure that your
next of kin knows you have already
paid for your funeral and what the
details are.
◆ Check to see that the plan provider has
a clear complaints procedure, and is a
member of the Funeral Planning Author-
ity, the industry’s professional body.
◆ Shop around for the plan that best suits
you, as there are many to choose from
and some can have restrictions on which
funeral directors can be used, and some
plans do not include disbursement costs
(doctor’s fees, clergy and crematoria).

88

BT1 088 Funeral Plans.indd 88 9/8/09 10:32:03 pm

Bereave Today Mag A4 cmyk 7/8/09 09:25 Page 1

Pre-Payment Funeral Plans - the thoughtful and responsible approach

Peace of
mind for
you and
your
family
£100 discount by
applying today
quote Bereavement Today

Pre-planning your funeral right now can take away the financial ● Complies with FSA regulations
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you’re still around means you’re sure to get the funeral you’d like ● No hidden costs
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In short, with a Golden Leaves funeral plan, absolutely nothing is

left to chance. You’re 100% guaranteed the funeral you want and
your family will have no further funeral directors fee to pay and
little to organise when the time comes.

Contact us today about our common sense, no hassle, no fuss plans

Call Golden Leaves on
0800 85 44 48
Email: info@goldenleaves.co.uk

FPA
FUNERAL
PLANNING
Golden Leaves
F u n e r a l P l a n s
www.goldenleaves.co.uk AUTHORITY
REGISTERED
 Choosing
C H O O S I N G A P R O B AT E S O L I C I T O R
A P R O B AT E S O L I C I T O R
It’s best to get probate, the official proving of a
will, under way as soon as possible. Here, we look
at the options available.
P robate is a legal way of
distributing a person’s assets
after their death. Even in
the simplest estates there
is a surprising amount of
paperwork involved and consequently
about two thirds of people decide to
seek professional help.
The fees charged by Probate providers
and the level of service offered differ
significantly. The most expensive can be
four or five times more than the cheapest
so it is important to get more than one
quotation before you decide which firm
to use. So what are the options and how
do you decide which one is best for you?
The first option is to use a high street
solicitor. It is essential to pick a firm
with a specialist Probate department
rather than a general practice firm. The
Law Society should be able to give you a
list of suitably qualified firms.
The second option is to use a
bank. Banks tend to be much
more expensive than solici-
tors and most calculate
their fees wholly as
a percentage of the
Estate. A fee of 4%
of the value of the Estate is
typical. Due to these high charges
Banks usually undertake Probate
work only when they have been
named as an executor in the Will.
The third option is to use a
specialist Probate company. A
couple of dozen firms advertise
regularly on the internet. Fees
tend to be significantly lower
90
BT1 090 Choosing a Probate Solicitor.indd 90
than solicitors. However, you need
to check who will actually carry out
the work. If a high percentage of the
work is carried out by clerical staff
rather then qualified solicitors there
is a risk that mistakes will be made
which could be difficult and expensive
to rectify later.
The final option is to use an indepen-
dent Probate Broker. A Probate Broker
will shop around on your behalf in order
to get the most competitive quotation
from a fully qualified Probate Solicitor.
Quotations are confirmed in writing
and are guaranteed not to change
provided that the details of the Estate
are as originally described. Bereavement
Today is pleased to recommend Final
Duties as a specialist in this area and
can be contacted on Tel 0800 731
8722, or you can visit their website at
www.finalduties.co.uk.
When comparing quotes it is very
important to consider factors other than
price. For example you need to ask for a
list of exactly what services are included.
If quote A includes preparing a tax
return for the last year of the deceased’s
life and Quote B does not then you need
to ensure that you are not comparing
apples with pears.
If the Estate is large or complex it is
important to ensure that you choose a
firm with a depth of expertise in related
areas such as inheritance tax mitigation
setting up trusts and dealing with lasting
powers of attorney. It is so much easier
if everything can be dealt with under
one roof.
Finally, you need to check that
the firm that you have chosen
will be able to start work for
you immediately rather
than having to first work
through a backlog of
other work.
Nothing can lessen the pain of
bereavement but a good Probate
solicitor can play a very important
role in ensuring that the Estate
is administered quickly and
efficiently so that the beneficiaries
can move on with their lives.
If you need any advice or guidance
contact Bereavement Today Magazine
on Tel: 020 7467 4420 or email
advice@bereavementtoday.com •
9/8/09 10:32:32 pm
FD027 BereavementToday A4 4/6/09 5:18 pm Page 1

Significant savings on Probate

You can now save a great deal of money by using
Final Duties’ unique new Probate broking service
● We are the UK’s only independent Probate broker,
so we work to get the most competitive quote for you
● We give guaranteed fixed-fee written quotations,
while others offer vague estimates that increase later
● Work is handled by fully qualified Probate solicitors,
selected experienced specialists – not unqualified clerks
● We also offer a wide range of other services, to
assist you with every aspect of administering the Estate

Call us for a fixed-fee Probate quotation

0800 731 8722

www.finalduties.co.uk
 Probate
U N D E R S TA N D I N G P R O B AT E

U N D E R S TA N D I N G

The Law Society offer advice and guidance

to assist you through the probate process.

W hen a person dies,

their affairs must
be managed. This is
called 'administer-
ing the estate'.
If the person who has died leaves a will,
it will usually name one or more people
to act as the executors of the will – that
is, to administer their estate. If you are
Grants of representation
This includes grants of probate (when
there is a will) and grants of letters of
administration (when there is no will).
Often people just refer to probate even if
there is no will.

When a grant of representation

is needed
◆ Has left less than £5000 in total or
◆ Owned everything jointly with
someone else.

In other cases, some financial

organisations, such as banks, may agree
to pay funds to a personal representative
without a grant of representation – it is
always worth asking. Usually, a grant of
named as an executor of a will you may A grant of representation is not always representation will be needed when the
need to apply for a grant of probate. needed, for example, if the deceased: person who has died left:
A grant of probate is an official
document which the executors may
need to administer the estate. It is issued
by a section of the court known as the
probate registry.
If there is no will (known as dying
intestate) the process is more complicated.
The Administration of Estates Act 1925
sets out who can act as administrator –
that is, who has the legal right to deal with
the affairs of the person who has died. The
administrator will usually be a close rela-
tive of the person who has died, if there is
one. There may be more than one person
who has an equal right to do this.
Anyone who has this right can apply to
the probate registry for a grant of letters
of administration. This is an official docu-
ment, issued by the court, which allows
administrators to administer the estate.
In some cases, for example, when the
person who benefits is a child, the law
says that more than one person must act
as administrator.

Legal terms you may come across

Personal representatives (PRs)
This means executors or administrators.
If there is more than one personal rep-
resentative they must work together to
decide matters between them. Disagree-
ments between personal representatives
can cause expensive delays.

92

BT1 092-093 Understanding Probate.indd 92 9/8/09 10:32:58 pm

 ◆ More than £5000;
◆ Stocks or shares;
◆ A house or land; or
◆ Certain insurance policies
How to get a grant
You can ask a solicitor to apply for the
grant of representation on your behalf.
You can also apply for a grant in
person at:
The Principal Registry (Family Division)
First Avenue House
42-49
High Holborn
London
WC1 6NP.
Tel: 0845 302 0900
For a district probate registry in
cities and many large towns (ring
0845 302 0900 to find your nearest
probate registry and to get an
information pack).
If you apply in person, you will
have to go for an interview at the
registry and fill in an application form
and a tax form. There is a fee for this.
Staff at the registry can help you fill
in the forms.
BEREAV E M ENT TODAY
BT1 092-093 Understanding Probate.indd 93
Responsibilities of personal Other things that may affect the time
representatives taken are:
Personal representatives are respon-
sible for making sure that the estate is ◆ Whether the financial affairs of the
administered correctly. If there is a will, person who died were in order
the personal representative must make ◆ What the person who died owned and
sure that the wishes of the person who where it is
has died, as set out in their will, are ◆ Whether the person who died had an
followed. If there is no will, you must interest in a business or a farm
follow the rules of intestacy (set out ◆ What the will or the rules of intestacy say
in the Administration of Estates Act ◆ Whether there are any legal disputes
1925). You should ask your solicitor to (claims against the estate or claims by
explain these. the estate)
“ Y o u r s o l i c i to r s h o u l d t e l l y o u
w h at t h e c o s t s a r e l i k e ly to b e
b e f o r e c a r ry i n g o u t a n y w o r k ”
Inheritance tax ◆ Whether inheritance tax needs to
Personal representatives are also be paid
responsible for finding out if inheritance ◆ Making sure that all HM Revenue
tax is due as a result of a person's death. & Customs files are closed and that
If it is, the personal representative has to matters relating to income tax, benefits
make sure that it is paid. agencies and pensions have been
Whether inheritance tax needs to be sorted out.
paid can depend on:
Arguments between family
◆ How much the property and belongings members, beneficiaries or personal
of the dead person were worth when representatives can also delay matters.
they died Any disagreements must be sorted out
◆ The value of any gifts that they gave before the affairs of the person who
before they died, and who they gave died can be settled.
these gifts to
◆ The value of certain trusts from which Costs
the dead person benefited; or Charges can vary between solicitors
which people benefit under the will and depend on what is involved in
or under the rules of intestacy administering the estate. It is often not
(the beneficiaries). possible to know immediately what may
be involved and how much advice and
You can find out more by looking help is needed.
at the HM Revenue & Customs Your solicitor should tell you what
website at www.hmrc.gov.uk or by the costs are likely to be before car-
asking a solicitor. rying out any work. You can compare
costs by contacting more than one
Likely timescales solicitor. Remember that the cost of
Handling the affairs of someone who dealing with the estate is usually paid
has died can take a long time. It is not from the estate.
unusual for proceedings to take up to a However, cost is not the only
year, perhaps even longer if things are consideration. It is equally important
not straightforward. Many organisations to find a solicitor who is approachable
may also be involved in the process, and sympathetic, and whose advice you
for example, banks, building societies, understand. For a probate specialist near
insurance companies, as well as HM you refer to the Bereavement Today
Revenue & Customs, and dealing with Wills and Probate Specialists Directory.
them all can be time-consuming. For further information, please
The estate cannot be dealt with contact Bereavement Today
until all claims to it have been received. Magazine on Tel: 020 7467
Individuals have six months from the 4420 or email:
date when probate was granted to make advice@bereavement
claims against the estate. today.com •
93
9/8/09 10:33:02 pm
 94
Death of the deceased

Registration of death formalities

The deceased is Intestate.

BT1 094-095 The Probate Process.indd 94

Are you the Executor? YES Is there a Will? NO Are you the NOK
or Administrator?

NO YES
T H E P R O B AT E P R O C E S S

Deal with funeral and burial formalities YES NO

No action possible Can you or do you want to administer the No action possible
Estate yourself without professional advice?
YES NO

Obtain claim forms from Do you need a Grant of Probate (or letters of administration)?
banks, building societies etc. NO YES
Check if there is any liability
to the Benefits Agency
THE

Obtain necessary forms from the Personal

Application Department of Probate Registry

Collect details of all assets and liabilities in the Estate

Place statutory advert for

creditors and other claimants Is the Estate solvent?
against the Estate (may need YES NO
professional advice for this)
Is there sufficient to meet all legacies in full?
YES NO
PROCESS

Was the deceased entitled to any trusts/life interests or

have any gifts/PETS been made over the past seven years?
Probate

Distribute the Estate

according to the Will or NO Is IHT payable? YES Seek professional advice
intestacy provisions

Complete and return all Complete and return all Probate Registry
Probate Registry forms forms and arrange funds or loan and pay IHT

Attend interview at Probate Registry to swear forms and pay Probate fees when
requested. Wait for and then receive Grant of Probate (or letters of administration)

9/8/09 10:33:22 pm
 Place statutory advertisement for creditors and other claimants
against the Estate; notify the Benefits Agency if necessary

Have there been any claims against the Estate due to the advertisement?
NO YES

BT1 094-095 The Probate Process.indd 95

Send office copy Grant to all appropriate bodies

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY
Collect all assets

Negotiate new valuation Has district valuer declared value of house?

with district valuer and
pay extra IHT or claim NO YES
refund if house sells for
less than the valuation Deal with all CGT and income tax for period prior to death
and for the administration period

Is a Deed of Variation needed?

NO YES

Realise sufficient cash to pay all debts: pay and transfer all legacies (with interest or
legacies, stock transfer forms, assent for house, where relevant); obtain receipts

Has there been any claim to the Estate within six months of the date of the Grant
under the inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975?
NO YES

Prepare Estate accounts and tax deduction certificates

R185: submit application for IHT clearance

Does the Will or intestacy provide

for any trusts or life interests?
NO YES

Obtain approval of Estate accounts and

receipts for inheritance from beneficiaries

Distribute residue to beneficiaries

95

9/8/09 10:33:23 pm
 D I R E C T O R Y P R O B AT E S O L I C I T O R S

P R O B AT E S O L I C I T O R S
W hen dealing with
the deceased's
estate you will
be subject to
certain duties
and responsibilities that have to be
carried out. These decisions could
have long and short term effects on
you and your family, and therefore it
may be beneficial to take advice before
finalising any commitments.
We have carefully selected from each
London Borough law firms that have
excellent reputations and strong links
within their local communities to assist
you at this difficult time.For further
information about each law firm visit
www.bereavementtoday.com.

Barking & Dagenham BARNET BARNET

Final Duties Final Duties HLA Solicitors
St Georges House St Georges House 56 East View
Knoll Road Knoll Road Barnet
Camberley Camberley Herts
GU15 3SY GU15 3SY EN5 5TN
Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 020 8441 1856
Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@hlasolicitors.com
Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.hlasolicitors.com

BARNET BEXLEY BRENT

Macrory Ward Solicitors Final Duties Final Duties
27 Station Road St Georges House St Georges House
New Barnet Knoll Road Knoll Road
London Camberley Camberley
EN5 1PW GU15 3SY GU15 3SY
Tel: 020 8440 3258 Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 0800 731 8722
Email: margaret@macroryward.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk
Website: www.macroryward.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk

BRENT BROMLEY BROMLEY

Gillhams Solicitors LLP Batchelors Solicitors Final Duties
3 Rowan House Charles House St Georges House
9-31 Victoria Road 35 Widmore Road Knoll Road
Park Royal Bromley Camberley
London Kent GU15 3SY
NW10 6DP BR1 1RW Tel: 0800 731 8722
Tel: 020 8965 4266 Tel: 020 8768 7000 Email: info@finalduties.co.uk
Email: solicitors@gillhams.com Email: batchelors@batchelors.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk
Website: www.gillhams.com Website: www.batchelors.co.uk

96

BT1 096-099 Directory - Probate Solicitors.indd 96 9/8/09 10:33:47 pm

 BROMLEY CAMDEN CITY OF LONDON
Judge & Priestley LLP Final Duties Final Duties
Justin House St Georges House St Georges House
6 West Street Knoll Road Knoll Road
Bromley Camberley Camberley
Kent GU15 3SY GU15 3SY
BR1 1JN Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 0800 731 8722
Tel: 020 8290 0333 Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk
Email: rstranger@judge-priestley.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk
Website: www.judge-priestley.co.uk

CROYDON CROYDON CROYDON

Alan Blok Solicitor Final Duties Gowens Solicitors
10 Godstone Road St Georges House 69-73 High Street
Purley Knoll Road Croydon
Surrey Camberley Surrey
CR8 2DA GU15 3SY CR0 1QE
Tel: 020 8668 0662 Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 020 8680 2200
Email: alan@bloklaw.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@gowens.co.uk
Website: www.bloklaw.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.gowens.co.uk

EALING EALING ENFIELD

Final Duties Gillhams Solicitors LLP Final Duties
St Georges House 3 Rowan House St Georges House
Knoll Road 9-31 Victoria Road Knoll Road
Camberley Park Royal Camberley
GU15 3SY London GU15 3SY
Tel: 0800 731 8722 NW10 6DP Tel: 0800 731 8722
Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Tel: 020 8965 4266 Email: info@finalduties.co.uk
Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Email: solicitors@gillhams.com Website: www.finalduties.co.uk
Website: www.gillhams.com

GREENWICH HACKNEY HAMMERSMITH

Final Duties Final Duties Final Duties
St Georges House St Georges House St Georges House
Knoll Road Knoll Road Knoll Road
Camberley Camberley Camberley
GU15 3SY GU15 3SY GU15 3SY
Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 0800 731 8722
Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk
Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk

HARrINGEY HARROW HARROW

Final Duties Camerons Jones Solicitors Curry Popeck
St Georges House 200 Northolt Road 380 Kenton Road
Knoll Road South Harrow Harrow
Camberley Middx Middx
GU15 3SY HA2 0EN HA3 8DP
Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 020 8423 6666/1616 Tel: 020 8907 2000
Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: admin@cameronsjones.co.uk Email: cpinfo@currypopeck.com
Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.cameronsjones.co.uk Website: www.currypopeck.com

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 D I R E C T O R Y P R O B AT E S O L I C I T O R S

HARROW HAVERING HILLINGDON

Final Duties Final Duties Final Duties
St Georges House St Georges House St Georges House
Knoll Road Knoll Road Knoll Road
Camberley Camberley Camberley
GU15 3SY GU15 3SY GU15 3SY
Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 0800 731 8722
Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk
Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk

HOUNSLOW ISLINGTON ISLINGTON

Final Duties Colman Coyle LLP Final Duties
St Georges House Wells House St Georges House
Knoll Road 80 Upper Street Knoll Road
Camberley London Camberley
GU15 3SY N1 0NU GU15 3SY
Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 020 7354 3000 Tel: 0800 731 8722
Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: marshamcleananderson@colman- Email: info@finalduties.co.uk
Website: www.finalduties.co.uk coyle.com Website: www.finalduties.co.uk
Website: www.colmancoyle.com

ISLINGTON KENSINGTON & CHELSEA KINGSTON UPON THAMES

Gelbergs LLP Final Duties Final Duties
188 Upper Street St Georges House St Georges House
Islington Knoll Road Knoll Road
London Camberley Camberley
N1 1RQ GU15 3SY GU15 3SY
Tel: 020 7226 0570 Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 0800 731 8722
Email: graeme@gelbergs.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk
Website: www.gelbergs.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk

LAMBETH LEWISHAM MERTON

Final Duties Final Duties Final Duties
St Georges House St Georges House St Georges House
Knoll Road Knoll Road Knoll Road
Camberley Camberley Camberley
GU15 3SY GU15 3SY GU15 3SY
Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 0800 731 8722
Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk
Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk

NEWHAM REDBRIDGE RICHMOND UPON THAMES

Final Duties Final Duties Final Duties
St Georges House St Georges House St Georges House
Knoll Road Knoll Road Knoll Road
Camberley Camberley Camberley
GU15 3SY GU15 3SY GU15 3SY
Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 0800 731 8722
Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk
Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk

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 SOUTHWARK SUTTON TOWER HAMLETS
Final Duties Final Duties Final Duties
St Georges House St Georges House St Georges House
Knoll Road Knoll Road Knoll Road
Camberley Camberley Camberley
GU15 3SY GU15 3SY GU15 3SY
Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 0800 731 8722
Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk
Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk

TOWER HAMLETS WALTHAM FOREST WANDSWORTH

Miller Evans & Co Solicitors Final Duties Murray Hay & Co
1st Floor St Georges House 159 High Street
19 Pepper Street Knoll Road Putney
London Camberley London
E14 9RP GU15 3SY SW15 1RT
Tel: 020 8987 2515 Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 020 8780 1225
Email: askus@me-solicitors.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: sue@murrayhay.co.uk
Website: www.me-solicitors.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.murrayhay.co.uk

WANDSWORTH WESTMINSTER
Final Duties Final Duties
St Georges House St Georges House
Knoll Road Knoll Road
Camberley Camberley
GU15 3SY GU15 3SY
Tel: 0800 731 8722 Tel: 0800 731 8722
Email: info@finalduties.co.uk Email: info@finalduties.co.uk
Website: www.finalduties.co.uk Website: www.finalduties.co.uk

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 99

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 Intestacy
I N T E S TA C Y R U L E S
RULES
When someone dies without leaving a will there are
strict rules in place to distribute the estate.
A person who dies without
making a Will or without
making a valid Will, dies
intestate. The property
belonging to such a per-
son is inherited according to a strict set of
rules commonly known as the intestacy
rules. Instead of the property going to the
deceased's chosen beneficiaries, it is left
to other relatives in a particular order.
Total Intestacy
If a person dies without leaving a valid
Will, they are said to die intestate. This
occurs when the deceased never made a
Will at all, cancelled their Will and did
not make a new Will or because the Will
that was made is invalid.
Partial intestacy
A person dies partially intestate if they
leave a valid Will, but the Will fails to
dispose of all the assets. If, as is usual,
the Will contains a valid residuary gift, a
partial intestacy is avoided. A residual gift
is one which ensures that all the property
which has not been specifically dealt with
in the Will (the residue) passes to chosen
beneficiaries nominated by the person
making the Will (the testator). Make
sure your Will prevents partial intestacy
by automatically gifting your residuary
estate in accordance with your wishes.
Effect of Intestacy Rules
The effect of the intestacy rules is that
they impose a trust over all the property
in respect of which a person dies having
provided for them in their Will.
This trust imposes duties and gives
certain powers to the PRs (personal rep-
resentatives, those appointed to manage
the estate when someone dies intestate).
100
BT1 100-103 Intestacy Rules.indd 100
The PRs must pay the funeral and admin-
istration expenses and any debts of the
deceased. The balance remaining (after
setting aside a fund to meet any cash gift
left by the deceased in the Will) is the
residuary estate to be shared amongst the
family under the rules of distribution.
The PRs have the power to use assets
towards satisfaction of a beneficiary's
to the property being placed in trust,
but if none
◆ Their grandparents equally if more
than one, but if none to
◆ Their uncles and aunts subject to the
property being placed in trust, but if
none to
◆ Their half uncles and aunts subject to
the property being placed in trust, but
share with the beneficiary’s consent. if none to
Personal assets must not be sold ◆ The Crown
without special reason. In other words,
where money is required to pay debts
or expenses and there is a shortage of
funds in the estate, the PRs would be
entitled to sell personal assets.
What happens to the estate if
someone did not make a Will
The right of a person to benefit on intestacy
depends on their relationship with the
deceased and whether any closer relatives
have survived. The general principle is
that the estate is shared by the relatives in
the highest category, to the exclusion of
relatives in a later category but it is more
complicated if there is a surviving spouse.
The spouse has priority over all other
categories of beneficiaries, but may
have to share the residuary estate with
other beneficiaries. If the person who
dies intestate has no surviving spouse
or civil partner, their estate passes to the
following in order:
◆ Their children, subject to the property
being placed in trust but if none, to
◆ Their parents, equally if both alive, but
if none to
◆ Their brothers and sisters subject to
the property being placed in trust but
if none to
◆ Their half brothers and sisters subject
9/8/09 10:34:17 pm
 The statutory trusts
Apart from the spouse, parents and
grandparents, each category of relatives
takes subject to the trust being created.
The purpose of the trust is to establish
membership of the class of beneficiaries
and the terms on which they take, in
much the same way as would normally
be provided in a Will. The trusts contain
three main provisions:
The class of beneficiaries
The residuary estate is held on trust
in equal shares for those relatives in
the relevant category who are living
at intestate's death. The term living
includes a person who is conceived but
not born at the intestate's death.
The contingency
The interest of the beneficiaries are
subject to reaching the age of 18 or
getting married whichever is earlier.
The substitution
If a member of the category has died before
the intestate leaving a child or children,
the child or children take their deceased
parent's share, if more than one in equal
shares, subject to reaching the age of 18 or
getting married whichever is earlier.
BEREAV E M EN T T ODAY
BT1 100-103 Intestacy Rules.indd 101
“The right of a person to
b e n e f i t o n i n t e s ta c y d e p e n d s
o n t h e i r r e l at i o n s h i p w i t h
the deceased”
Spouse/civil partner only
Where the intestate (someone who dies
without having made a valid Will) leaves
a surviving spouse or civil partner but
no children, parent, brother or sister, or
children of a deceased's brother or sister,
the whole estate, however large, passes
to the spouse or civil partner absolutely.
More distant relatives such as half
brothers and sisters, grandparents and
cousins are not entitled to any part of
the estate.
If, however, the spouse or civil
partner dies within a period of 28 days
of the death of the intestate, the estate
is distributed as if the spouse or civil
partner had not survived the intestate.
Spouses and civil partners
Under the intestacy rules, a spouse
is the person to whom the deceased
was married at their death whether
101
9/8/09 10:34:24 pm
 I N T E S TA C Y R U L E S
or not they were living together, or in
the case of civil partners, were joined
in a civil partnership under the Civil
Partnership Act 2004. Where the par-
ties were divorced or are traditionally
separated the spouse will not benefit
under the rules.
Children
Children who benefit under the rules
include all direct descendants of the
deceased. That is children, grandchil-
dren, great grandchildren etc. Adopted
children are also included as are those
whose parents were not married at the
time of their birth.
Distribution
Where both spouse/civil partner and
children survive the intestate, their
estate is distributed as follows:
The spouse/civil partner receives
the personal assets absolutely. Personal
assets are also called personal chattels
and include carriages, horses, stable
furniture and effects, motor cars and
accessories, garden effects, domestic
animals, plate, plated articles, linen,
china glass, books, pictures, prints,
furniture, jewellery, articles of house-
hold or personal use or ornaments,
musical and scientific instruments and
apparatus, wines, liqueurs and consum-
able stores. They do not include any
chattels used at the death of the intestate
for business purposes nor money or
securities for money.
In addition to the personal assets, the
spouse/civil partner receives a specific
gift of £125,000 free of tax and cost plus
interest at a prescribed rate from the date
of death until payment. If the residuary
estate apart from the personal assets is
worth less than £125,000, the spouse/
civil partner receives the whole amount
and the children receive nothing.
If there is more than £125,000, the
first £125,000 will go to the spouse/
102
BT1 100-103 Intestacy Rules.indd 102
civil partner and the rest of the estate
is divided into two equal funds. One
fund is held on trust for the spouse/
civil partner for life with remainder to
the children also to be held on trust.
In other words, the PRs will invest
50% of the rest of the estate in a fund
and pay the interest to the surviving
spouse/civil partner for life and
thereafter it will be paid in accordance
with the trust. The other 50% will be
invested by the PRs for the benefit
of the children who will ultimately
receive that portion of the estate.
The spouse/civil partner's entitle-
ment to the benefits under the intestacy
rules is conditional on the spouse/
civil partner surviving the intestate for
28 days. Where the intestate's spouse/
civil partner dies within 28 days of
the intestate, the estate is distributed
as if the spouse/civil partner had not
survived the intestate.
Living together but not married
So far as intestacy is concerned there
is no such thing as a ‘common law
wife’ or husband. If you are not legally
married, you get nothing. However
anyone who was financially depen-
dant on the deceased may be able to
make an Application for provision
from the estate.
Application for provision
(Inheritance Act)
By way of the Inheritance Act 1975
certain family members and other
dependants can make a claim against
the estate if no provisions are made for
them in the Will. A ‘common law wife’
or husband – defined as living together
as husband and wife for two years or
more at the time of death, are able to
make a claim under the Act. In this
case they need not have been strictly
dependant on the deceased in order to
receive provision.
Other members of the family who
were dependant on the deceased, e.g.
children may claim a share of the estate
if the Will does not give them one, but
are likely to receive no more than a
‘maintenance’ sum.
The main purpose of making a Will
is to ensure your wishes are carried out
after your death. If there is a possibility
that the provisions in your Will may fall
foul of the Inheritance Act, yet you have
reasons for what you do, you can set
the reasons out in a special document
called an Inheritance Act Statement. For
example, if you have given their ‘inheri-
tance’ to one of your children during
your lifetime and want to exclude that
child from your Will, you can say so in
the Statement.
While Inheritance Act Statements are
not binding on the court in the event
that your Will is disputed, the court is
more likely to rule in favour of uphold-
ing the provisions of the Will if it can
see that you have a reasonable motive
for what you do.
Applying Trusts for descendants
The primary beneficiaries are the
children of the intestate who are living
at the death of the testator. Grandchil-
dren are included only by substitution,
which is where a child has died before
the intestate.
The interests of the children are sub-
ject to them reaching the age of 18 or
marrying under that age. If a child dies
after the intestate, but before they reach
18 or marry, their share is distributed as
if they had pre-deceased the intestate.
Any children of the deceased child (i.e.
grandchildren of the deceased) who are
living at the intestate's death take their
deceased parents share equally between
them, subject to them reaching the age of
18 or earlier marriage. Great grandchil-
dren will be included only if their parent
had also pre-deceased the intestate.
9/8/09 10:34:29 pm
 Whilst money is being held for
children before they reach 18, the
trustees have powers to advance income
and capital to the children.
Spouse/civil partner's right to
cash in
The surviving spouse/civil partner
may elect to take a lump sum pay-
ment in place of a life interest. This
means that the half of the residue (i.e.
amount over £125,000) which would,
under the provisions outlined above,
be held on a trust for the spouse/
civil partner for life with remainder
to the children will instead be divided
between the spouse/civil partner and
the children. The spouse/civil partner
receives a cash payment immedi-
ately and the balance is held for the
children on trust.
“CHILDREN WHO BENEFIT UNDER
THE RULES INCLUDE ALL DIRECT
DESCENDANTS OF THE DECEASED”
If all the children entitled to share
in the intestate's estate are of full age
and capacity, they can agree the capital
value of cashing in the life interest with
the surviving spouse/civil partner. In
the absence of agreement, or if any
beneficiary is not yet 18, the amount
which the surviving spouse/civil
partner receives is calculated according
to certain prescribed guidelines. The
effect is that the younger the spouse/
civil partner the greater the lump sum
will be, although it will never be full
capital value of the life interest.
If the spouse/civil partner prefers to
take a lump sum payment they must give
written notice of their decision to the
PRs within 12 months of the PRs receiv-
ing their authority to act in the manage-
B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY
BT1 100-103 Intestacy Rules.indd 103
ment of the estate. Where the spouse/
civil partner decides to take a lump sum
in place of a life interest, this will have
the effect of increasing Inheritance Tax
payable by the estate. The reason for this
is that when a person leaves assets to
their spouse/civil partner, those assets
are exempt from Inheritance Tax. If the
spouse/civil partner takes a lump sum
payment instead of a life interest, the
value of the lump sum will be less than
the life interest and therefore the estate
will be left with a larger amount, which
will be taxable.
The matrimonial home
If there is a matrimonial home, which
forms part of the estate, the surviving
spouse/civil partner can retain the
matrimonial home in full or partial
satisfaction of their interest in the estate.
If the property is worth more than
the spouse/civil partner's entitlement,
the spouse/civil partner may still retain
the matrimonial home provided they
pay the difference to the estate. This is
called equality money. For example,
according to the intestacy rules the
surviving spouse/civil partner is en-
titled to £125,000 and the matrimonial
home is worth £150,000. The surviving
spouse/civil partner may therefore
receive the matrimonial home but will
have to pay to the PRs an amount of
£25,000 being the difference between
the value of the house and the amount
to which the spouse/civil partner is
entitled. The amount of £25,000 will
then form part of the rest of the estate
to be divided into the two equal funds
as discussed above.
The spouse/civil partner will receive
the home at its open market value at
the time it is decided to keep the home.
In times of rising house prices, the
surviving spouse/civil partner should
exercise the right as soon as possible
after the death.
In view of the right to retain the
matrimonial home, the PRs should not
sell or otherwise dispose of the matri-
monial home during the twelve months
from the date they receive the authority
to act without the written consent of
the surviving spouse/civil partner.
However, if there are insufficient funds
to cover the debts and estate expenses,
the PRs will be entitled to sell the
home with the consent of the surviving
spouse/civil partner.
Spouse/civil partner & parents,
brothers or sisters
Where the intestate (someone who
dies without having made a valid Will)
leaves a surviving spouse/civil partner
but no children, the distribution of the
estate depends on whether any other
close relatives survive. If the intestate
is survived by either or both parents,
by brothers or sisters or by children of
the deceased brothers and sisters, the
spouse/civil partner will receive:
All of the personal assets absolutely
A specific gift of £200,000 free of tax
and costs plus interest from the date of
death until payment. If the rest of the
estate apart from the personal assets is
worth less than £200,000 the spouse/
civil partner will receive the entire
amount tax free.
Half of the rest of the estate abso-
lutely. In other words, no life interest is
created and assets placed on trust.
The spouse/civil partner's entitlement
is subject to surviving the intestate for
28 days. If the spouse/civil partner dies
within 28 days of the intestate, the intes-
tate's estate is distributed as if the spouse/
civil partner had not survived them.
If either parent survives the
intestate, that parent receives the
remaining half of the rest of the estate
absolutely. If both parents survive,
that half is shared equally between
them. If both parents have died before
the intestate, the remaining half is
divided between the intestate's broth-
ers and sisters subject to the property
being placed on trust. The terms of
the trusts are the same as those for
children. If a brother or sister of the
intestate dies before the intestate
leaving children, the children (i.e.
nephews and nieces of the intestate)
take their parent's shares.
The surviving spouse/civil partner
once again has the right to take the
matrimonial home in full or partial
satisfaction of their interest in the estate.
If you would like to make a Will or
need assistance with any probate matters
refer to our Wills and Probate Solicitors
Directory on pages 92/93, where you
will find a recommended specialist in
your area. For further information email:
info@bereavementtoday.com •
103
9/8/09 10:34:32 pm
 Legacy
LEGACY INVESTING

WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR

It is a touching honour to be left a legacy, but it can also

present a quandary. Madeline Thomas explains the tax
implications and makes some investment suggestions.

L osing a loved one is traumatic.

Sometimes, knowing you
have been left an inheritance
can help ease the burden.
Sometimes, quite frankly, it
adds to the trauma as it throws up yet an-
other set of decisions that need to be taken
at a time of extreme grief and uncertainty.
Of course, determining what to do with a
legacy depends on your age, family circum-
stances, the amount of the inheritance and
in what form is has been bequeathed.
The big issue of tax
The first thing to remember is that
a property is considered part of the
overall estate and will be liable to
inheritance tax if the value of the overall
estate exceeds £312,000. It is a flat rate
tax charged at 40% on all assets over
the threshold. Sometimes, those who
have bequeathed a property may also
House prices have slumped over the
last year but there are plenty of houses
that are valued at considerably more
than £312,000. Let’s talk numbers. An
IHT bill on a house valued at £500,000
would be £75,200: an enormous sum
for anyone to pluck out of thin air.
One’s first reaction might be to say,
“That’s easy, I’ll sell the house to raise the
have left a life insurance policy in trust money to pay the tax.” If only life were
to you that would help pay the tax bill. that simple. HM Revenue & Customs
However, that’s rare. (HMRC) takes the value of the property

Inheriting a house
For many people, inheriting a house “ t h i s l e g a c y wa s t h e i r c h a n c e t o
would be both a blessing and a curse.
Yes, there are undoubted financial gains. d o s o m e t h i n g t h at w o u l d b e o f
The money could be realised to pay for
school fees, university education, long-
l a s t i n g b e n e f i t t o t h e i r fa m i lY ”
term care for surviving relatives, repay
the mortgage on an existing property,
and indeed provide an asset that could
be used as a pension in future years.
However, inheriting a house can mean
inheriting a mausoleum of memories.
It also means inheriting a potential
decision making curse: whatever action
you take over the property will rarely be
universally liked by surviving family and
friends and there could be squabbles
aplenty over every item of furniture and
knick-knack within the place.
As impersonal as it sounds − and
regardless of how close you were to the
person who’s died, by far the best course
of action is to not think of it as a property
at all; merely as an investment vehicle.

104

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 on the day someone dies, and expects
the inheritance tax to be paid within
six months. Luckily, we are no longer at
the bottom of the housing slump where
nothing is moving but, for those who are
banking on selling the house to pay the
tax bill, speed is of the essence.
Looking beyond the issue of the tax
bill for a moment there are a few ques-
tions that it is worth considering.
Does the inherited property provide
better accommodation for you and/or
your family?
If so, a logical course of action could be
to swap houses – move into and keep
the one you’ve inherited; rent out or sell
your existing home to either pay the tax
bill or realise any investment income.
Is the inherited property on a good
commuter route or in a university town?
If you wish to consider maintaining the
property as a rental unit to cover costs,
realise a little income and maintain an
asset for a later date, it is essential to
know that it is situated within a buoy-
ant market location where it will be
relatively easy to replace tenants when
they move on.
It is important however, to ensure that
no rental is undertaken in a half-hearted
manner. Recent legislative changes
mean all private landlords now have to
be registered. There is no ducking the
new red tape.
Are there major financial commit-
ments for which selling the property
makes sense?
If you have a family, there are a million
commitments on your strained income
for which selling an inherited property
would make sense. However, before
the For Sale Board goes up outside
B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY
BT1 104-105 Legacy Investing.indd 105
the property, weight up the relative
merits of providing your family with
an immediate lump sum, to providing
enough monthly rental income to cover
costs and maintain an asset which may
yet appreciate between now and when
you finally sell.
Of course plenty of people inherit
sums of money – big or small – rather
than property.
The sizeable sum
Those who inherit £100,000 or above
should obviously first seek indepen-
dent financial advice. The best place
to find a good local IFA is on the
www.unbiased.co.uk website, where
you can seek advisers close to your
postcode that have specific advanced
investment qualifications.
What you do with the funds depends
upon your needs and those of your family
Looking for income
Parents looking to pay school fees or
university costs or those looking to
use an investment to supplement their
retirement income could do worse than
investing a significant portion of their
lump sum into Guaranteed income or
high income bonds.
This is because, depending upon
your age and situation, you could
withdraw up to 5% per year of the
original investment without an
immediate tax charge.
Going for growth
Those in their 20s, 30s or 40s who have
no such income requirements would
most likely be seeking growth, as this
could provide their quit-work-early fund
or their pension. Investing in a pension,
as such, is not necessary. The adviser
would probably recommend that the
assets are split between cash, equities,
and growth bonds – guaranteed or
otherwise. Yes, equities, or shares, have
performed badly recently but, histori-
cally, they remain the asset class with
the best returns over time.
Lesser sums
In today’s climate it seems puerile to
associate any sum of less than £50,000
as “lesser” but, in investment terms, it is.
Sums of this magnitude also provide the
most freedom. They provide the scope
to repay debts, take a holiday, perhaps
update the family car and possibly put a
little something aside.
Friends recently inherited £10,000.
They had no rainy day money: no
three-month emergency fund, so they
had originally intended to save the lot.
However, they changed their minds.
Why? Reflecting on the decision
prompted them to realise that the gift of
money – this legacy – was their chance
to do something that would be of lasting
benefit to their family. So, they will save
some of the money and have bought a
small runaround with the rest. They can
turn around and say “Grandma enabled
us to do that” and they’ve chosen it in
her favourite colour. (It’s just as well she
wasn’t too hot on pink or yellow).
This also serves as a timely reminder to
anyone who inherits some money, whether
it’s a lot or a little. If possible, do justice to
the approach to life of the donor as well as
meet the needs of the recipient. •
105
9/8/09 10:35:06 pm
 I N H E R I TA N C E TA X
Inheritance
TA X
N ot everyone is liable
for inheritance tax
(IHT). It is only due if
your estate including
property, possessions,
money and investments, together with
any assets held in trust and gifts made
within seven years of death, is valued
over the current IHT threshold of
£312,000. The tax payable is 40 per
cent on the amount over the threshold.
The executor or personal representative
usually pays the tax from the deceased’s
estate. Trustees usually pay the tax on
trust assets.
Exemptions
There are a number of exemptions
which allow you to pass on amounts
(during your lifetime or in your will)
without any inheritance tax being due,
for example:
If your estate passes to your husband,
wife or civil partner and you both have a
permanent home in the UK there is no
106
BT1 106-107 Inheritance Tax.indd 106
What are the rules and what are the exemptions
when it comes to inheritance tax?
inheritance tax to pay even if it is above
the inheritance tax threshold.
Most gifts made more than seven
years before your death are exempt.
Other gifts, such as wedding gifts
and gifts in anticipation of a civil
partnership up to £5000 (depending on
the relationship between the giver and
recipient), gifts to charity and £3000 given
Annual Exemptions
You are allowed to give away £3000
in each tax year without paying
inheritance tax. You can carry forward
all or any part of the £3000 exemption
you do not use to the next year but no
further. For example, you could give
away up to £6000 in any one year if you
had not used any of your exemption
away each year are also exempt. Parents from the year before.
“The executor or personal
r e p r e s e n tat i v e u s u a l ly pay s t h e
tax f r o m t h e d e c e a s e d ’ s e s tat e ”
can each give £5000. Grandparents and Normal Expenditure Gifts
other relatives can each give £2,500; Any gifts that are made from your
anyone else can give £1000. after-tax income (but not your capital)
Importantly, gifts made to your are exempt from Inheritance Tax,
unmarried partner or a partner with that is if they are part of your normal
whom you’ve not formed a civil expenditure.
partnership are not exempt. These include:
9/8/09 10:35:35 pm

◆ Monthly or regular payments to to death. The valuation must reflect
someone or anniversary, birthday or accurately what those assets would fetch
Christmas gifts.
◆ Life insurance premiums for you or 1. Take the value of all the assets that
someone else.
Maintenance Gifts
You can make inheritance tax-free
maintenance payments to:
◆ Your husband, wife or civil partner.
◆ Your ex-spouse or former civil partner.
◆ Relatives who are dependent on you but in which they kept an interest.
due to old age or infirmity.
◆ Your children (including adopted and
step-children who are under 18 or in
full-time education.
Potentially Exempt Transfers
(PET)
If you as an individual make a gift in
any of the situations listed below and
it is not covered by one of the exemp-
tions already described, it is known as
B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY
BT1 106-107 Inheritance Tax.indd 107
a ‘potentially exempt transfer’ (PET).
A PET is only free of inheritance tax if
you live for seven years after you make
the gift.
Gifts that count as a PET are gifts that
you as an individual make to:
◆ Another individual
◆ A trust for someone who is disabled.
◆ A bereaved minor’s trust where, as the
beneficiary of an Interest In Posses-
sion (IIP) trust (with an immediate
entitlement following the death of
the person who set up the trust), you
decide to give up the right to receive
anything from that trust or that right
comes to an end for any other reason
during your lifetime.
Inheritance Tax on Transfers into
Trusts and Companies
Transfers into most types of existing or
newly created trusts above the IHT nil
rate band will be charged 20 per cent
inheritance tax on the amount exceed-
ing that band. The tax is payable by the
person making the transfer. There are
certain trusts that are exempt from these
rules. Please use our Solicitors Directory
on pages 92/93 to find an inheritance
tax expert within your region.
Valuing an Estate for
Inheritance Tax
When valuing a deceased person’s estate
you need to include all the property,
possessions and money they owned at
the time of their death, and assets they
gave away during the seven years prior
on the open market at the date of death.
they own in their own right, together
with the value of:
◆ Their share of any assets that they own ◆ Resident in Northern Ireland −
jointly with someone else.
◆ Any assets held in a trust from which
they had the right to benefit.
◆ Any assets which they had given away, to Inheritance Tax, You will need to
◆ Certain assets which they gave away
within the last seven years (check ◆ IHT 400 plus any relevant
which assets are exempt from supplementary forms
inheritance tax).
2. From the above deduct everything that
the deceased person owed, for example:
◆ Outstanding mortgages and other loans
◆ All unpaid bills
◆ Funeral expenses
If the debts exceed the value of the
assets owned by the person who has
died, the difference cannot be set
against the value of trust property
included in the estate.
3. The value of all assets, less the deduct-
ible debts, is their estate. An inheritance
tax rate of 40 per cent will be due on any
amount over the threshold of £312,000.
Assistance when Valuing the Estate
Valuing most of the estate assets should
be quite easy, for example, money in
bank and building society accounts,
stocks and shares. In other instances,
you may need the help of a profes-
sional valuer (or chartered surveyor
for valuing property). If you choose to
utilise a valuer make sure you ask them
for the ‘open market value’ of the asset.
This represents a realistic selling price
of an asset. If the affairs of the estate
are complicated, it may be advisable
to instruct a solicitor to help you value
the estate, pay the tax, and administer
the estate.
Deadlines for Paying
Inheritance Tax
In most cases, Inheritance Tax must be
paid within six months from the end of the
month in which death occurred, otherwise
interest is charged on the amount due.
Tax on some assets including land and
buildings can be deferred and paid in
instalments over 10 years.
Forms you need to Complete
If the estate is unlikely to be subject to
Inheritance Tax (an ‘excepted estate’):
◆ Resident in England and Wales −
Forms IHT 205 and PAI (application
for probate)
Form IHT 205
If the estate is likely to be subject
complete the following forms:
◆ IHT 421
◆ PAI and PAIA guide notes
You can contact the Probate and
Inheritance Tax helpline on 0845 302 0900.
For an Inheritance Tax specialist in
your area refer to our Probate Specialists
Directory on pages 96-99. •
107
9/8/09 10:35:39 pm
 Inheritance
I N H E R I TA N C E TA X P L A N N I N G
TA X P L A n N I N G
Whatever stage of life you are at, there are steps you
can take to plan for inheritance tax
W hen it comes to
Inheritance Tax
planning, much
depends on your
circumstances
and at what stage of life you are at,
therefore we would like to offer the
following examples on how best to
deal with varying situations.
Young Professional with family
and high overheads
The main concerns for this individual
are likely to be paying off the mortgage,
planning school fees and perhaps paying
into a pension for retirement.
Possible Inheritance Tax Plan
Concerns about a liability that is a long
way off would normally lead to the
person putting in place two elements.
The first would be to perhaps put in
place an Inheritance Tax protection
policy, written in Trust for beneficiaries
other than the surviving spouse. This
will provide a tax- free lump sum to
cover any eventual Inheritance Tax
liability. This is a good option for a
young person as the monthly premiums
are likely to be low.
The second element would be a tax
effective and flexible Will, allowing
for the use of the tax- free threshold
for Inheritance Tax purposes on the
death of the first spouse. This would
be relatively inexpensive and a simple
response to a potential tax problem.
The way the estates are held between
the husband and wife or civil partners
would also need looking at.
108
BT1 108 Inheritance Tax Planning.indd 108
Middle aged high net worth
individual
The main priorities in this situation
might be reducing the value of the
estate, whilst keeping enough capital
and income to fund a required lifestyle.
Possible Inheritance Tax Plan
In this situation the use of a Life-time
Discretionary Trust might be an ef-
fective form of Tax Planning. Putting
the assets such as Company shares
into a Discretionary Trust, allows
the settlor to keep control of the
assets that are being gifted, by being
a trustee of the Trust. This would
also allow the person to ‘lock in’ the
Business Property Relief available on
the transfer of Company shares and
give them the ability to ‘drip-feed’
shares to beneficiaries who work for
the Company, providing incentives for
those who will be taking the Company
forward in the future.
There are numerous options involv-
ing the family home, which would
enable the potential tax-payer to
remain living in the property, whilst
at the same time
removing a large
proportion of
the value of the
property from
their taxable estate.
The options here are
too numerous to list, but you can use
our Specialist Search Facility to find an
expert in your region.
You may also consider investing
into assets which qualify for Business
Property Relief, which are exempt from
Inheritance Tax after two years owner-
ship, subject to meeting various asset
dependant criteria.
Not long to live
This situation is where an individual
does not have long to live, and has no
tax planning in place. Therefore the
most common tax planning solutions
are inappropriate. In this instance a tax
effective and flexible Will is extremely
important, and investment in assets
which qualify for Business Property
Relief may be a sensible way of achiev-
ing Inheritance tax exemptions and
reducing the taxable value of the estate.
For further information or a specialist
in your area contact Bereavement Today
on Tel 020 7467 4420 or email:
advice@bereavementtoday.com •
9/8/09 10:36:11 pm
 At this most difficult time,
the burden of arrangements
and duties that have to be
carried out can seem daunting and
emotionally draining. Our friendly team
at Bereavement Today Magazine can help you
by finding leading specialists in your region, and at the
same time save you money by providing you with the best
quotes available. We can find you a specialist in your area
who can assist you with any of the following services:
Financial and Legal Matters Care Services
Inheritance tax advice and planning Day care
Probate matters & valuations Live-in care
Wills, trusts & investment advice Care homes

For quotes on any of the services listed call the Bereavement Today Specialist Services Team
on: 0207 467 4420 or email: specialists@bereavementtoday.com
www.bereavementtoday.com

Quotefinder
B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY
S P E C I A L I S T S E RV I C E S

BT1 109 Quotefinder Service Ad.indd 109 9/8/09 10:36:44 pm

 MAKING A WILL

I t is very important for you to make

a will whether or not you consider
you have many possessions or much
money. It is important to make a
will for the following reasons:

◆ If you die without a will there are

certain rules which dictate how the
money, property or possessions should
Circumstances when it is extremely
important to use a solicitor.

◆ When you share a property with

someone who is not your husband,
wife or civil partner.
◆ Making provisions for a dependant
who is unable to care for themselves.
◆ When there is a business involved.
If an executor dies, the other
executor(s) can deal with the estate. If
there are no surviving executors legal
advice should be sought.

Rules for a Valid Will

For a will to be valid it must be:

◆ Made by someone who is aged 18 or

be allocated. This may not be the way ◆ UK resident, but have property over, and
that you would have wished your money overseas. ◆ Made voluntarily and without pressure
and possessions to be distributed. ◆ Your permanent home is not in the UK. from any other person, and
◆ Unmarried partners and partners ◆ You are not a British citizen. ◆ Made by a person of sound mind.
who have not registered a civil ◆ If there is a danger of family members This person must be fully aware of the
partnership cannot inherit from each making a claim on the will. nature of the document being written
other unless there is a will, so the or signed and aware of the property
death of one partner may create What should the will include? and identities of the people who may
serious financial problems for the To save time and money when visiting inherit, and
remaining partner. your solicitor, give some thought to ◆ In writing; and
◆ If you have children, you will need to what major parts you want to put into ◆ Signed by the person making the will
make a will so that arrangements for your will. in the presence of two witnesses; and
the children can be made if either one ◆ Signed by the two witnesses, in
or both parents die. ◆ How much money and what property the presence of the person making
◆ It may be possible to reduce the and possessions you have, e.g. savings, the will, after if has been signed. A
amount of tax payable on the inheri- property, pensions, insurance policies, witness or the married partner of a
tance if advice is taken in advance and bank and building society accounts witness cannot benefit from the will.
a will is made. and shares. If a witness is a beneficiary (or the
◆ If your circumstances have changed ◆ Make a list of people to whom you married partner or civil partner of a
it is important that you make a will to wish to leave your money and beneficiary), the will is still valid but
ensure that your estate is distributed ac- possessions. These people are known the beneficiary will not be able to
cording to your wishes. For example, if as beneficiaries. inherit under the will.
you have separated and your ex-partner ◆ Who should look after any children
now lives with someone else, you may under 18? Make sure the will is dated. As soon
want to change your will. If you are ◆ Who are going to carry out your as the will is signed and witnessed
married or enter into a registered civil wishes as set out in the will (known it is complete. If a will is not legally
partnership, this will make any previous as executors). valid, on their death their estate will
will you have made invalid. be shared out under certain rules and
Executors not according to the wishes expressed
If you are in any doubt as to whether Executors are the people responsible in the will.
or not you should make a will you for carrying out your wishes and for It is advisable to keep your will
should consult a solicitor. organising the estate. They have to at home in a safe place or with your
collect all the assets of the estate, deal solicitor or bank. You can also deposit
Common mistakes in making a will with all the paperwork and pay all the your will at the Principal Registry of the
yourself are: debts, taxes and funeral costs out of Family Division at the High Court or a
money in the estate. They will need district registry for safe keeping.
◆ Not knowing the formal requirements to pay all the gifts and transfer any
needed to make a will legally valid. property to the beneficiaries. The Probate Dept
◆ Failing to take account of all the You can appoint one executor, though The Principal Registry of the
money and property available. it is normal to appoint two, but up to four Family Division
◆ Not taking into account the possibility executors can take on the responsibility First Avenue House
of a beneficiary dying before the person for administering the will after a death. 42-49 High Holborn
making the will. Listed below are the people most London
◆ Changing a will. If the changes are not commonly appointed as executors: WC1V 6NP
signed and witnessed, they are invalid. Tel: 020 7947 6000
◆ Being unaware of the fact of marriage, ◆ Relatives or friends
a registered civil partnership, divorce or ◆ Solicitors or accountants Searching for Copies of a Will
dissolution of a civil partnership in a will. ◆ Banks Personal Application
◆ Being unaware of existing rules that You can make a search free of charge
enable dependants to claim from It is important to approach anyone by going to the Principal Registry, First
the estate if they believe they are not you are thinking of appointing as an Avenue House, 42-49 High Holborn,
sufficiently provided for. These rules executor to see if they will agree to take London WC1V 6NP. Tel: 0207 947
mean that the provisions in the will on the responsibility. They have every 6000. There is a fee of £5 for a copy of
could be overturned. right to refuse if they so wish. the will.

11 0

BT1 110-111 Making a Will.indd 110 11/8/09 12:43:19 pm

 Postal Application
When writing to request a copy of a will
by post, the full name, date of birth and
last known address of the deceased must
be listed in the letter.
The York Probate Sub-division
registry will deal with
your enquiry and
organise for
the requested
copies to be

W
sent to you.

MAK

ill
Change of
Circumstances
ING When a will has

A
been made, it is
important to keep it
up to date to take into
account any changing
circumstances. It is advis-
It is a able to review the contents

ensur lways wo
of a will regularly to make
sure that it still reflects your
r
after e your wi th makin wishes. The most common
changes of circumstances
you’v sh g
e gon es are ca a will to which affect a will are:
e. rried
out ◆ Getting married, remarried or
registering a civil partnership
◆ Getting divorced, separating or
dissolving a civil partnership
◆ The birth or adoption of children if
you wish to add them as beneficiaries
in a will.

Changing a Will
Because of changing circumstances you
may want to make alterations to your
original will. The only way you can
change a will is by making a codicil to
the will or making a new will.
A codicil is a supplement to a will
which makes some alterations, but
leaves the rest of it intact. This might be
done to increase a cash legacy or change
an executor or add a beneficiary.
A codicil must be signed by the per-
son who made the will and be witnessed
in the same way. However you can
change the witnesses if you wish.
There is no limit on how many codicils
can be added to a will, but they are only
suitable for very straightforward changes.
If more complicated changes are required,
then it is advisable to make a new will.
The new will should begin with a
clause stating that it revokes all previous
wills and codicils should be destroyed.
For a specialist wills and probate
solicitor in your area, refer to the
Bereavement Today Wills and Probate
Directory on pages 96-99. •

B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 111

BT1 110-111 Making a Will.indd 111 11/8/09 12:43:39 pm

 Caring
C A R I N G F O R A N A G E D FA M I LY M E M B E R
F O R A N A G E D FA M I LY M E M B E R
It’s never an easy decision to make, but at some point many families have to
face up to the fact that an elderly relative can no longer care for his or herself
and needs extra help. But what are the options?
C aring for an aging
family member is a
concern that faces more
and more families. As
parents and grandpar-
ents reach the stage in their lives
when they cannot completely care
for themselves decisions must be
made that can affect not only the
elderly in need of care but also other
family members as well as relatives
and friends.
There are several guidelines to
assess how capable an elderly or
disabled person is at performing the
activities involved in everyday life.
“ D ay c are c o u ld be t h e mo s t
a p p ro p riat e and c o s t- effe c t i v e
o p t ion if t h e le v el of c are
needed i s minimal ”
These include:
◆ Getting around the home
◆ Getting in or out of bed or a chair
◆ Taking a bath or shower
◆ Dressing
◆ Eating and using the toilet
◆ Going outside the home
◆ Taking medications
◆ Keeping track of money and bills
◆ Preparing meals
◆ Doing light housework
◆ Using the telephone
Increasingly people want to remain
at home, living independently for as
11 2
BT1 112-113 Caring for an Aged Family Member.indd 112
long as possible, but at some stage they
will require assistance whether it is
occasional day care or full-time help
with a live-in carer 24/7, care home or
care village.
How to get started
Start with a care assessment. Everyone
is entitled to be assessed by the local
authority. The assessment is done to
work out the care needs of older people,
measure their financial resources and
get the process started. This assessment
will help most people considering care,
even if the local authority is not funding
the care.
Even if the local authority is
funding the care, you have the right
to choose the care home as long as
it meets your assessed needs and
does not cost more than they would
usually pay. If your preferred accom-
modation does cost more, you can
top up the fees.
Care at home undertake the research for you,
Day care could be the most appropriate
and cost-effective option if the level of care
needed is minimal. However if you need
to arrange 24 hour assistance, a live-in
carer or nurse this can work out expensive.
Sheltered housing
This can be a good choice for those
who are still fairly mobile but like
the security of being able to call for
help if needed. Sheltered housing
usually takes the form of private
purpose-built accommodation which
you can buy or rent. Prices can vary
quite significantly depending on the
location and level of service.
Care villages
These purpose built sites provide the
independence of sheltered housing
and also offer other on-site services
such as medical support and social
activities.
Residential homes
For greater day-to-day care these
homes provide accommodation,
meals and extra help such as
assistance with bathing and dressing.
These establishments have care
assistants and do not generally
provide nursing care.
Nursing homes
If there is a particular medical condition
that needs specialist care then a home
with registered nurses on site may be
the best option.
At Bereavement Today Magazine
our friendly care services team can
providing a shortlist of options at
preferred rates that you can review
or consider. Call 020 7467 4420 or
email: care@bereavementtoday.com
for more information. •
10/8/09 12:33:23 am
 B E R E AV E M E N T T O D AY 11 3

BT1 112-113 Caring for an Aged Family Member.indd 113 10/8/09 12:33:31 am
 Useful
U S E F U L C O N TA C T S

contacts
Association of Independent Cruse
Celebrants Bereavement Care
Funeral celebrants who will create and A charity that exists to
conduct a funeral ceremony of your choosing. promote the well-
Tel: 01323 815 746 being of bereaved
www.lightonlife.co.uk people and enable them to understand
their grief and cope with their loss. National Society of Allied and
The Bereavement Register Helpline: 0844 477 9400 Independent Funeral Directors
A service designed to remove from Young persons freephone: 0808 808 1677 Tel: 0845 230 6777
databases and mailing files the names and Email: helpline@crusebereavementcare.org.uk www.saif.org.uk
addresses of people who have died. www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk
Tel: 0870 600 7222
The Natural Death Centre
Tel: 0871 288 2098
www.the-bereavement-register.org.uk Branches in London: www.naturaldeath.org.uk
Bexley: 0208 304 5245
The British Association of Cancer Croydon: 0208 916 0855 Probate & Inheritance Tax
United Patients (Cancer BACUP) Greenwich: 0208 850 0505
Provides information, practical advice Hillingdon: 01895 811 330 Bereavement Today
and emotional support to patients, their Kensington & Chelsea: 0208 964 3455 Tel: 0207 467 4420
families and friends. North London: 0208 340 1716 www.bereavementtoday.com
Tel: 0808 800 1234 Richmond: 0208 876 0417
www.cancerbacup.org.uk Probate valuers and House
Department of Work & Pensions Clearances
The British organ Donor Society They produce excellent information on Central London House Clearance
(BODY) 'what to do after someone dies'. Tel: 0845 603 8133
A support group for familes of organ donors www.dwp.gov.uk
and for those who have received organs. Samaritans
Tel: 01223 893 636 HMRC Tel: 0845 790 9090
www.bodyuk.org.uk Information explaining inheritance tax
and 'what to do about tax when someone Stillbirth & Neonatal
British Humanist Association: dies' available at: Death Society
Tel: 0207 079 3580 www.hmrc.gov.uk/leaflets/iht.htm Offers support when a baby dies.
www.humanism.org.uk Tel: 0207 436 5881
Local Register office www.uk-sands.org
Child Bereavement Trust: Visit www.direct.gov.uk/dscript which
Information and support line: 0845 357 1000 will give you details of your nearest Survivors of Bereavement by
www.childbereavement.org.uk register office. Suicide (SOBS)
Tel: 0870 241 3337
Citizens Advice Bureau National Association of Funeral www.uk-sobs.org.uk
www.citizensadvice.org.uk Directors
Tel: 0845 230 1343 War Widows Association of
Community Legal Service Direct www.nafd.org.uk Great Britain
Advice on benefits, debts and legal support. Tel: 0870 2411 305
Helpline: 0845 345 4345 (9-5pm) National Association of Widows www.warwidowsassociation.org.uk
www.clsdirect.org.uk Tel: 0247 663 4848
Winston's Wish
The Compassionate Friends NHS Choices Provides support for bereaved children
Provides support for bereaved families. Find hospitals and local doctors and and teenagers up to the age of eighteen.
Helpline: 08451 232 304 helpful information on a huge variety of Tel: 0845 203 0405
www.tcf.org.uk health related products. www.winstonswish.org.uk

11 4

BT1 114 Useful Contacts.indd 114 9/8/09 10:38:16 pm

 Celebrate a Life with
a Tribute Fund
Would you like to set up a tribute fund
to celebrate the life of your loved one?
Often families choose to collect donations
in memory of their loved one and then
donate these collections to charity.
The British Lung Foundation
enable you to use these or other
donations to set up a
Breath of Life Tribute Fund
in your loved one’s name.

Breath of Life Tribute Funds remain open for as long as The proceeds of the fund go towards the work of the
you wish and anyone can donate or raise funds at any British Lung Foundation who support people in the
time especially anniversaries, birthdays and Christmas. UK living with lung disease by providing and funding:
We can give you help to raise money for your fund • nurses
by supplying raffle tickets, fundraising materials and • a helpline
advice. You could also do a challenge event - like a run
• support groups
or a marathon - in memory of your loved one.
All the money raised could be attributed to your loved • easy to understand information
one’s Breath of Life Tribute Fund. • world class research into lung disease
To say thank you, when the Breath of Life Tribute Fund reaches £2,000, we will dedicate a tree in a
Woodland Trust site in memory of your loved one. You will receive a certificate and a map of where
the tree is.
If you would like more information on the Breath of Life Tribute Funds please complete the form below
and send it back to:
Charlotte Dunlavey, British Lung Foundation, 73-75 Goswell Road, London EC1V 7ER
or contact: charlotte.dunlavey@blf-uk.org Tel: 020 7688 5617

Yes I would like more information on the Breath of Life Tribute Funds
Name

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If you are happy for us to contact you by email, please tick

Protecting your personal information. We promise that any information you give us will be used only by the British Lung Foundation (BLF)
and its subsidiary companies. We’d like to keep in touch (including telephone) to let you know about the BLF’s activities, including fundraising,
and how your support is making a difference. If you would rather not hear from us then please let us know.
Registered charity of England and Wales - no. 326730 Charity registered in Scotland - no. SC 038415 Company limited by Guarantee - no. 1863614
(Ref: BOLBT)

t: 020 7688 5555

w: www.lunguk.org
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