Obama to Switch Party

Michael Collins
(Satire)

The Money Party November 14, 2010

http://www.themoneyparty.org/main/?p=166

(Washington) President Barack Obama has confided his plans to become a registered
Republican some time before the end of the lame-duck
session of the 111th Congress. Speaking to his inner circle,
he lamented failing to bring the two major parties together.
One of his confidants reported Obama saying, "It's really just
one party anyway and clearly the Republicans have the
confidence of the people. I can finish my original mission
much easier within the GOP." Sources wouldn't elaborate on
what that mission is. (Image: juvetson)

Obama clearly signaled his intentions through two recent

tactical moves. He relented on ending the Bush-era tax
breaks for the top 1% of income earners. The 3% reduction
in the top rate accounts for over $1.0 trillion in lost revenues. Prior to the 2010 midterm
elections, Obama hinted that he opposed a renewal of the tax breaks. It looked like the
president might win this one with speculation that the tax breaks would likely die due to
the post midterm atmosphere.
Obama also tipped his hand by backing away from his mid 2011 date to begin the
withdrawal of United States forces from Afghanistan. His Secretary of Defense and
NATO officials indicated that 2014 was a more likely date. On December 1, 2009, the
president said, "… these additional American and international troops will …allow us to
begin the transfer of our forces out of Afghanistan in July of 2011."

A military insider said, "You never win an endless war, but you can certainly lose one.
Premature withdrawal is a guaranteed way of assuring a clear loss."

In addition to these recent moves, the co-chairmen of the president's hand picked
Commission on Fiscal Responsibility just announced a proposal for "deep cuts" to Social
Security benefits and increase payroll taxes. The co-chairmen were appointed by the
president and their recommendations were no surprise to him. Started by President
Franklin Roosevelt in 1935, Social Security has been a pillar of the Democrat Party ever
since. One analyst said, "It's no surprise that Social Security was barely mentioned in
the midterm campaigns. The Democrats knew the commission would attack the current
program."
Democratic Party insiders reacted with shock and dismay. "He's left us high and dry just
two years after the biggest victory in recent history," said one. "How could he do this?"
Another inside source was more direct, "It will be easy to change the name of the
controlling interest - the Democratic Leadership Conference. Just plug in Republican and
you now have truth in advertising."

Obama had gone through a several month period of gloom and despondency starting
shortly after the BP oil spill. He felt as though he was forced to attack the hapless,
accident prone oil giant in public just to appease popular sentiment. He reportedly told a
close adviser, "Don't the people realize that big business is the engine of the world
economy. The gulf will be OK, but will BP survive?"

It was all too much and the president chose to make history, once again; this time as the
first president ever to switch parties while in the White House.

What Does this Mean for the United States?

The recent emergence of the once reviled former president, George W. Bush, indicates
the preparations to complete the unfinished Republican agenda. "Free" trade and
outsourcing are coming back as soon as possible according to a knowledgeable source.
There will be a new campaign for more visas for science and high tech workers. The new
Obama Republican administration will argue that good jobs go wanting due to a labor
shortage. We'll be told that importing foreign high tech workers and scientists will create
a rising tide for domestic employment.

There will be more bailouts, specifically for the legally strapped mortgage giants who
find they lack sufficient legal standing to foreclose on the homes they mortgaged. The
Department of Justice is preparing a presidential memo that will argue that the centuries
of contract law are antiquated. This will be followed by a national law that will
retroactively make legal all the bad paper the banks now hold.

Rather than blush about US military actions overseas, a new Obama doctrine called Full
Spectrum Dominance will be unveiled. We'll no longer apologize for preemptive
invasions and other military actions, said a senior official. "The rest of the world can just
get used to it," he said.

One Washington insider summed it all up: "What do you expect when you elect a guy
who praises Ronald Reagan and stops his campaign in early October 2008 to return to the
Capitol to make sure the Wall Street bailout gets passed? Have you been paying
attention?"

END

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