6relseqcuetr

vI,{'uolduewroN T )n l
Surqsrlqn4 aruoJel 'tS
dosso141 uerrg
srolBlsuB.{f, roJ 8u4lpfl puB 8u1q,rag I
,l
i
Published by
Contenrs
St. Jerome Publishing
2 Maple Road West, Brooklands
Manchester, M23 gHH, United Kingdom Acknorl ledgen
Tel +44 161 913 9856
Fax +44 161 905 3498 Introduction fr,

stjerome @ compuserve.com \\-i.. ,. .,

http ://www. stjerome.co.uk Pn..,-:...

Oll:l -.
ISBN 1-900650-a5-2 (pbk)
IS SN 1 470-9 66X (Tr an s I at i ct n P roctic e s Erp laine fi Introduction f,:,

Insri-..: .:
O Brian Mossop 2001 Prcr:, .
Do -',. -::
A11 rights reserved, including those of translation into foreign languages. No part of Teri. . ,- :
this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in Lai: -.:.
any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or oth- Sr:_.: _. ..
erwise without either the prior written permission of the Publisher or a licence
Fu n:, .: :: ,
permitting restricted copying issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency (CLA), 90
Tottenham Court Road, London, WIP gHE. In North America, registered users may
1. Wh1 Edirine ;
contact the Copyright Clearance Center (CCC): 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers MA
The; _ .,-
01923, USA.
Enic:; r. :

Printed and bound in Great Britain by Bal;:,- -:

T. .1. International Ltd.. Cornwall. UK Qua_i.,
Limi_.: r_
Cover design by Sumn..-"
Steve Fieldhouse, Oldham, UK (+44 161 620 2263) Funhe :;.-
Typeset by 2.The Work r,f ar
Delta Typesetters, Cairo, Egypt Task\ ,- : _
Email: delttyp @ starnet.com.eg Edirins. :- ,

Mental .:: ,
British Library Catabguing in Publication Data
Degree. -
A catalogue record ofthis book is available from the British Library
Further::.:
Lib r a ry of C on g r e s.s C at al g in g - in - P ub I i c at i on D at ct
3. Copyediting
Mossop, Brian.
Revising and editing for translators / Brian Mossop. Rules
p. cm. -- (Translation practices explained, ISSN 1470-966X) House s,....
Includes bibliographical references. Spellin s .- :
ISBN 1-900650-45-2 (pbk. : alk. paper) Syntax a:,_ . _

l. Editing. 2. Translating and interpreting. I. Title. lI. Series. Punctuart :

PN162 .M64 2001 Usage
808'.02--dc21 Exercise: .: -
200 1 000404
Further re:: :
'seJrlJeJd uorsr^eJ lnoqs uorlseueJ pue uorssnssrp JoJ sr 1sI srql leq] Jeqruaruau
(uo4ezruu8ro) iole 'slueluoc Jo alqe1 'seloulooJ 'srepueq 'Suuequrnu e8ed
:pezrueS.ro sr eloq,ln, u su lueuncop eqt .{e,u eql ur suelqord ,(uu oJeql eJV .ZI
(,(qderSodfl) icle'ezrs 1uo3
'ed,{1 1uo; 'Suruqrepun '8urp1oq :Su4eruroy txat Jo sruelqo,rd fue ereql erv 'I I
(lno,(e1) ;c1e'sur8reu'uorluluepur
'Surcuds :e8ud eql uo pe8ue;re sr lxel aql ,{u,lrr eql ur sruelqord,(ue ereql eJV '0I
(uor1u1ueser4) uorlulueserd pcrs,{qd Jo suelqord - q dnorg
(scrueqceyq) ape^resqo ueeq e8esn
lcoJJoc puu e1.{1s esnoq 'uorlunlcund '8ug1eds '.rururuer8 Jo selru eql e^?H '6
(ruotpD ie8un8uul 1e8r4 eql Jo seJuereJord pcuolaqr
aql o.{Jasqo uollulsuuJl eql seoq 6Jrluuorpr suorlBurquoJ pJo.4A eql IIe eJV 'g
(e8en8uuy-qn5) llcelqns eruus
eq1 uo slxe1 a8en8uel-te8:u pur8rro ur pesn luql qcluur ,(Soloesurqd eqt
seoc ipesn ueeq ,(SolouruJol lJerroc se11 lerue3 eql o1 pelrns e1,(1s eq1 s1 'L
(3uuo1ru1) 1,lr Jo e>leru
gmr feql esn eql pue uoqelsuur1 eql Jo sJasn oql 01 palms e8en8uul eq1 s1 'g
(sseuqtoourg) lsacueluas p€er-ot-pr€q'pru1(
-ryvru fue aJeql eJV eJeelJ eJuelues qJue go sgud eql Suorue sdrqsuorluler
eql eJV LJuels sesuelues uee,4aleq suorlJeuuoJ aql aJu :,rou lxel eql sooc 'g
(a8en3ue1) a1,(1s pue e?en8uel Jo suelqord - 3 dnorg
(s1ceg) isroxe pcrlutueqleru ro pnldecuoJ 'lurureJ .(ue ereql ery 'V
(cr3o1) iuou
-JrpeJluoJ Jo esuesuou (ue e:eql sr :esues a>luru seoprJo ecuenbes eql seoq 'E
(tuetuo3; lueluoc Jo stuelqoJd - g dnorg
(sseuelaldruoJ) clno Ual uaoq e?essau aql Jo sluetuela ,(ue e.r,ug 'Z
(,(cernccy) 1,lxel ecJnos eql ;o e8esseru eql lJelJeJ uorlelsuuJl eql seoq 'I
(re;suer;) reJsuer1 Surueeru Jo sruelqoJd -y dnorg
:eJueJeJeJ
Jo ecuerualuoc JoJ pJo^\ paaleltdec e18urs e ,{q pe,lollog 'uor1u1suurl eql lnoqe
suorlsanb se pesse'tdxe 'are faql ere11 'sdno;8 rno; olul peprArp 'sraleruuled 't't Suollces,Lger-r*Js:
e^le,rl osn II.e^\ '>looq srql u1 'sed,fi Jorro Jo ls1 uoqs ,{lquuoseer u a,^.uq ol luer
-ueluoc sr lr 'uorsrleJ ssncsrp pue lnoqe {uID ol JepJo uI Jole,ttoH 'peepur Suoy QA-teil.gE raqurnu
.fte.r. eq plno,^d. 3ur1e1sue4ueq,l Buorlr oB uuc sSuqt;o 3ur1s11 e^rlsneqxe
1uq1 prepuPls ueuueD Jql-I
uV 'Joxa;o sed,fi eql - JoJ $lceqJ JesrAeJ e sSuql oql eJe sreleuru;ud uorsrled -upf, roJ,{lpcgneds
sr sprreletr l Burtsel -lot
qsplrg eql ruoJJ Ot-E S
sJaloruBJBd uolslAau oql '0I -uot (p661) ua{rH r6
dosso7,g uottg
t00 Brian Mossop Revising and Edi::,. i .'.

It is not for use as a checklist while actually revising. Obviously, you are not Accuracy can resul. ::
going to go through each sentence twelve times! As we'll see in Chapter 11, may have been .-r.r:,-
however, you may want to refer to the four groups of parameters before you jointed, in shon ha:l ,
begin, in order to decide the degree to which you will revise. may prefer such ;r.:,
You may want to read some of the earlier chapters of this book for more their jobs require n::
information on the parameters that are of concern not just to revisers but also to message by the le::*
editors (parameters 3 to 12). Chapter 3 looks in detail at the various aspects of More generairi. :
Mechanics as well as Idiom. Chapter 4 has sections on Tailoring and Smooth- or Language par:::Tr;.
ness. Chapter 6 covers Logic and Facts. translation can L'e :- :
If you are acting as a reviser-editor, then your check will include the matters levels of precisirrr. .
discussed in Chapter 9 under the heading 'Revision and editing'. You may also higher levels of re:::
find that some of the matters discussed under Sub-language and Idiom are more tify the right baLn;;
'editorial' than 'translational', but nowadays, this is a distinction many people The question '.i:,;.
find irrelevant.
Let us now look at the twelve parameters in detail. o Has the sour;; :;
o Does the trrr.,':.

1. Accuracy The most comm--l i'*

the source. But l:.:-
Accuracy is the most important feature of a translation. The first task of a pro- understood. The -:.:
fessional translator of non-literary texts is to guarantee that the translation means pressed in the tr:r":,"-
what the source means. The main task of the reviser is to ensure that there are the wording the -,', :, :
no major mistranslations - passages which could seriously mislead the reader tor has written ,r >'' ,:.
about an important feature of the source text's message. Finding such :.-,:;
Aside from major mistranslation, just how accurate does a translation have superiority of re" t.,,
to be? Not as accurate as possible, but as accurate as necessary, given the use to eyes is more lik:-"' .
be made of the translation. Ephemeral texts, which will be read and discarded, toward the corr:;. r:.
and not used to make important decisions, do not need to be as accurate as Sometimes l:-r-; -
publications, or documents which will be used for important decisions. There is reasons. Consi.:e: ::.
no point spending five minutes searching for the mot juste if the translation is 'Bibliothdque n:'.:, :,
going to be read quickly and tossed away. times just calle ; ::.:
Suppose the source text is the minutes of a meeting. It mentions that an called the '\ati,- r. -
official gave an interview to a journalist at lunch-time. The draft translation Canadians. the i::--:.
says 'spent his lunch hour giving an interview'. This is not quite accurate - it the National Li::::-"
implies that the entire lunch hour was spent giving the interview. But the key that of ensunr. :1-.-
point has been made: an interview was given. What percentage of the official's refened to. The:: : i
lunch hour this occupied is utterly iruelevant. It would simply be a waste of time ferent underSl;i.--ri
revising the draft. nation which h=:;r-
In written translation, unlike oral, it is possible to go over and over a text, flects the belie: :: .
making it more and more accurate, so that not only the main message but even provinces. one .,, ',; -
tiny details are reflected in the translation. But the fact that it is possible is not a the reviser ma\ :3.:
reason to do so. Not only may this be a waste of time, but overattention to outlook: 'Queir;- ::
iluc tqSru etuos 'uos oql Jo Suqleruos ro .,fturqr1 lurcur,to"rd ceqen|, :Ioollno ol uorluauBJJ_l{}
uelpeuuJ-qsq8ug eq1 slJeUeJ uorlelsuur1 eql leql JJnsuJ o] peeu furu resr,ter eql u lou SI alqrss,ed
'sdrqsrepeer pue sluerlJ etuos qllia1 'ceqen[ palleJ sr qcrr{,4A Jo euo 'secur,to.rd uele lnq a8esseru
uel pue serJolrxel oaJql Jo Surlsrsuoc uorluu uurpeuuJ E ur JerToq eql slceg '1x41 e Je,\o pcrs
-er qsq8ug eql :BpBueJ pelluJ uorleropal e Jo ged eq o1 suedduq qJIq^\ uortuu
ceqen| e ur Jerleq eql slJeUeJ qoueJd eql :.{r1unoo eql go sSurpuelsJopun }ueJeJ ellrrl Jo alse,rl ? eq
-JIp loeuer serueu eql esnu3eq 'ue1qo;d lect3oloepr ue osle s.ereqJ 'o1 pexaJar
s.lBrJUJo aq;o a
Sureq sr uorlnlrlsur r{JIq^\ lnoqe pesnJuoc lou sr Jep€eJ eql Suunsue Jo leql
,(e>1 eql lng ',trar-
fldrurs lou sr ererl Jesr^eJ er{l roJ uelqord oql 'epeueJ;o ,fterqr1 puorteN oq}
1r - ale.rncce elrnl
sl eluuu IerJrJJo esoq,r u^\ello pllduc IeJepeJ eql ur uorlnlqsw aql 'suerpeuuJ
uorlulsu€Jl {E'rP
-qs18ug JoJ 'se{ole erueu l€ql esneceq qsgSug ur ,, rerqr1 IEuorlEN, or{1 pelleo
uu luql suorluaur
aq touuur lf lnQ '(,{re;qrT Ieuort€u) .epuorluu enbgqlo11q1g, oqt pellec lsnl seu4
-euos sr tI '(oeqen} 3o ,fterq11 luuo4eu) ,ceq9n| np epuoneu enbQqtollqlg,
sr uo4ulsuErl e{p
-
eql sr e{ueu IursrJJo esoq^\ ,(tlJ ceqeno ur uorlnlrlsur eql JeprsuoJ 'suoseeJ
sr eJoqJ 'suorsrtJ
pcrSoloeprTlecrlrlod ;og',(russeceu,{11en1ce oJe serceJnJJuur seturleruos
su eluJnJJP S? 3q
'Surpue; lJerroo orll pm,^Aol
'peprecsrp puE try
serq ror.rd ou sr oJoql esnuJeq 'Surpea; lceJJocur eql ees o1 ,(1e111 e-loru sr ser(e
ol esn eql ua_rG '{
;o ;red puoJes V 'uorsrleJ-Jles JeAo esle ouoeuos fq uorsr're; go ,,$uouedns e^eq uorlelsuBJt ?
aqt ;o eldruuxe poo8 u sr se4rn8rqure snore8uep ,{11er1ue1od qcns Surpulg
'eJueluos snon8rqrue .(ypcrlcelufs e uellulvr s€r1 Jol
JepeeJ eql pBslslin
-ulsueJl oql esneceq sesrJp uego lsotu uelqoJd sl,It 'r{e,Lr 8uo.ltr eq1 Suprom eq1
oJE sJor{l lEql 3_ul}l
le.rdrelur o1 ,{1e>111 eJe sJopeeJ eqJ'}ou suq lr lcsJ ur }nq 'uortelsuuJl oq1 ur pesserd
suueru uort?ls{rPJ]:
-xo ueeq suq SurpuelsJepun srql leql e^eqeq ,,(uru ;olelsuuJl eqJ 'poolsJapun
,{llcerloc uoeq suq ecJnos eql ueq,r esrJe osle uec fcernccuur lng 'eoJnos eql
-o"rd u 3o {ssl t\r]
go Surpuulsropun loexoour ruo4 sesue ,(ce;ncJuur Jo puDI uoruruoc lsoru eqJ
iSurpuelsrepun leql ssa:dxe uor1ulsu€Jl eql seo( a
epoolsJepun .{pce;roc ueeq lxel ocJnos eql suH a
:suorlsenb orq ,{1pn1cu sr eleJncJe sr uorlulsu€Jl e Jeqleq.,!\ uorlsenb eq; eldoed fueu uorm
'pueq te qot eqt roJ erueluq tq8rr eq1 ,{;4
oJoru eJe r.uorpl p[
-uepr 01 sr lcrJl er{J 'JeJJns lsnu ,(cerncce 'ssaurlpueuJ-JepeeJ Jo sle^3l reqSrq osp,(eu noa '.inr
eql lu elrq^\ 'pecr;uces .{1qe1r.l,eur sr flqrqepuer go ear8ep e 'uorsrcerd Jo sle^el sJ311eu eql apntrxn
reqSq eql lV 'alurncce fleruarlxe pue elqupee-t fleue.qxe r{loq aq ueJ uorlelsueJl
u 1uq1 eur8erur o1 3ur4urq1 InJqsl,4A flquqo;d sl tI '6-9 sreleruurud e8en?uu1 ro -qloous pue Suunq
,(lrTrqepeer eql pu€ ,(curnccy uee,rleq JJo-opeJ] E sr eJeql ',(lpreue8 eroy41
3o slcedse snor-rst
'e8en8uel eqt .{q e8esseru Ol OSIS lnq SIeSI_lar
eqt uro4 palcsJlsrp eq III,!\ ,{eql (lueruncop eql pBer 01 rueql ermber sqol;reql eJotu JoJ looq srF
3r) ro Surpuer dols ,(ldurrs IIrl( sJoqlo 1nq ',(curncce eruelxo qcns regerd feru '
(slueurncop p8el uregec '3'e) s1xe1 eruos Jo srepeeU 'puer ot pJur{ iloqs ur 'pelurof no,( ero.yaq sJala{rru
-srp 'pre,rt1,tre eq ecuelues 8ur11nser eql lnq 'ur peruuru,rc ueeq e,,req ,,(uru '11;e1duq3 ur Jes
'(eur
Surueeru Jo ecuunu puu dercs f.re.r.g 'lxal alqepueJun u€ ur llnsal uuc ,(cernccy lou eJe no,{ ',(lsnonr
TOI sroiDlsuDrJ to{ Sutllpg puo Sursmay dossoy,y uottg
 T
102 Brian Mossop Revising and E;::;-.;

such deliberate inaccuracy a minor form of censorship. second occurre:a-

A final point on accuracy: numbers are often an important part of the mes- the first occurren;; :
sage. If the translator has turned an unemployment rate of 6.8Vo into a rate of to ensure no aa.-ria
8.67a,that is a major Transfer error if unemployment is an important topic in point-form list. r;::r:
the text. In any text where numbers are central to the message, it is a good idea If checkins " -::
to make a separate check for their accurate reproduction. source and transl:::
of omission. be;.,
paragraphs.
2. Completeness Completene.. :
cal of poorlr \,ir-i--:
Unless specifically asked to write a summary or gist, translators are usually
that repetitiven.)> :
expected to render the whole of the message in the source text - No Additions,
consuming task. r:r:
No Subtractions (NANS). Thus we will not be considering the revision of what
any repetitir en.:! .:
are traditionally called adaptations, where significant portions of the message
Completene.. ::,
may be deleted (not even left implicit in the translation), and new material
explicit in the .,-,*:,
(not even implicit in the source) may be added.
problem of ct :lr:.: -
Some 1900 years ago, in a letter to his friend Fuscus advising him to while
drawing either i:,-.:.
away his retirement translating Greek into Latin, the Roman writer Pliny the
text (not lateri \
Younger pointed out that "what might have eluded your notice while reading
recoverabilitl r. ::-t
cannot escape you when translating". Pliny presents this as an advantage (Fus-
is recoverable ''i:-: -
cus will be able to delve more deeply into the Greek text), but from another
The former errri :s
point of view, it is more a burden borne by translators: readers can skip over an
final translatirrr. T:,:
obscure passage, but translators cannot. Translators must try to come up with
wasting) revisi,-,:..
an interpretation of every expression, and, with few exceptions, this full inter- ",
you are in doubt. ., - .
pretation must be reflected in the translation.
Leavin-e me ssr::
The NANS principle should not be taken too literally. First, small additions
are especialll l:r:,:
and subtractions are inevitable; there is usually no point going through a trans-
space is availa'r,r : -:
lation with a fine-toothed comb searching for tiny nuances of meaning that have ing translations ,-. >
been added or subtracted. Second, the principle really only applies to relevant On the othei l:-,:
meaning. Some of the information in the translation will be very important to explanations. --\: --:r:
the readers, some less important. Thus if the text is a complaint containing a sages where In- :-r-
great many expressions of the complainant's emotional state, some of these can thattranslator: i .-'
be omitted if the point of the translation is simply to allow an official to deter- Marvell put ir >:,::,. .

mine the substance of the complaint. Or take a text on the causes of avalanches
which begins with a description of the researchers arriving in an alpine village He is Tran..'*,
and mentions some of the species of plants growing in the meadows. The whole As much r: :ra -*-
passage could be summarized or omitted. Of the trrs. .:---.
Completeness might be thought to be implicit in accuracy, but it is worth
mentioning separately because it is so easy to leave something out accidentally. Unwitting adir:i.:.
The eye can skip a point in a long list of bulleted points. Or a whole passage translator has .::, :--:
may be skipped when a phrase is repeated in successive sentences or para- his'confessior'
graphs: the eye, returning to the source text from the translation, goes to the A final poin: :. I
'f11ecruorlce1e pepr,l,o-rd sr lxel ooJnos eql JI :sseuelelduro3 uo lurod pug V eql o1 sao.:- '-:,:,,
'.uOISSOJUO3, SIq
-urud ro sa--u;::
seruocoq .luotualels, s.JoJepJnru plqc pe8elle ue :s8uqae3 Suorts spq JolelsueJl e8ussud 3ioL"-
eql qJrql( lnoqu crdol B uo sr lxel eql ueq,ln. JncJo ,(uru suorlrppe 3ur11rmun ',(lyelueprrrr :n,_
tluo,lA sr tr t:q
"' 'roq]n8 lsrrJ eqlJo
orols oq1 ruo4 qle{B} lEqt eq sB qcnu sv oloq,r Or.lf .. !".:N
eJou qleppE lBql.larql s.uort€lsuerJ sr oH -L;
e8eylr,r aurdtl
soqJuelE \E i _r s
:o8e sree,{ 0gg eruos t1 tnd 11ea.ruy41 -Jolep ot IErr:l-:,:
se JoJ 'lxel eql;o crdol aql uo seopr u,4lo Jrer{l ppe lou op sJolelsueJl l€ql
^reJpuv u€c Aseql -Jrr ?'I,-
'Je^e,roq 'eJnsue osp IIr,r JesrAeJ aql 'd1eq peeu IIr,^A JepBeJ eql e;eq,l se8es e Sututeluc.: t:;
-sed ro3 1no efe uu sdeel Josr,\eJ eq] 'eleJolpe s.JepueJ eql sV 'suorluuuldxe
ol lueuodrur ";;
Iecrur4Jel Jo pJnllno Surppu se.rrnber uouo sseuelelduro3 'pueq Jeqlo eql uO
tuD\ala_r ot se:i:
'selrsqe^\ JoJ suorlelsueJl pue oJe,^AUos yo suor1e1sue.r1 8ur
oleq leqt iur'.ir':'
-;ede;d ur ,tlluenbe,r; sesrJe uelqord srql 'uorlulsueJl aql JoJ olqelru^€ sr ecuds
-SUPJI e qinu.r!:
pcrs,(qd Jo lunotue peuruJoleperd '1erus e ,(1uo ueq,u, luegodur .(yprcedse e;e
suollrppB IIELji
'fcuepunper Jo uorl€unurla qtr,l.t, JoqleSol 'lrclldurr slueruele e8esseu 3ur.r,ue1
't1cr1dxe sr luoruale eql leql oJnsue 11r,r nof 1qnop ur are no,(
-Jolu IIn-l :t[ "s
yr ,{1snor,tq6 'lrcr1dxe Surueaur Jo luatuole eql o>leru nof se 'uorsr,Lel (3ur1se,u,
qlt,tr dn auro: ,- l
-erurt eJoJeJeql pue) sselpeeu u ol spuel .(lereur roxo Jeilel eql 'uon?lsueJl leurJ
ue JeAo dnls u:.:
aql ur uorssruro u€ oq ueql IIr,r eJeql eJurs 'snoues eJotu sr JoJJe JeruJoJ 3qJ
Joqloue tuo_rJ t:];
'sr lr uoq,^A elqeJelocoJ lou sr ll leql Suqurql Jo 'lou sr lr uoq,r elquJe^oceJ sr
-sn4) efetur',:i
lueruole eql leril Suqurql 'uorlceJrp Jeqlre ur rre ,{eru no1 '}eru sr ,(1rpqu-re.,lorer
Surpua; alrq.r! ;r
Jo uortrpuoJ srql reqleq.4A snor^qo s,{emp lou sr tl '.aro51 '(1re1e1 tou) lxet
eqt ,(ur14 r:tl:!-.
er4l ur raruoa pe,(ea.uoc e8pe1,trou4 uo ro e8pel,troul preue8 uo Jeqlre 3ur,Llu-rp
elq,r ot rutu i-r:s
,(q slueuele eseql JeAoJeJ uuJ JepueJ u su 3uo1 su sseueleldtuoJ Jo uelqo-rd
ou sr eJaqJ 'uorlelsueJl aql ur lrcqdrul Uel aq uec lxel oJJnos eql ur lrcqdxe
eJe qJrr{,r Surueeur go sluotuelg 'sseulrcrldxe e;rnbe"r lou seop sseueleldruo3 IerJoleu .\\au F;
e8essaur 3ql -lt \
'uorlelsuur1 eql ur Uel aq uec ssauenrlrlede; ,{ue
]eq,^a ,,;l
Jo uorsr
'puur{ l€ qof eql ur uorl€Jeprsuo3 e lou sr e1.Qs Jo ecuellecxe pue '{se1 Sununsuoc
'suoplppv o\ -:l
-eurl e eq o1 f1e111 sl slql JI JeAe,^AoH 'pel€ururTo ueeq seq sseue,trlrleder 1eq1
,(1pnsn 3JE S-rrtrtt.,
eJnsue ,{1p,reue8 plnoqs JesrAeJ oq1 'peopul 'slxel eoJnos uo}lrJ,r\ Kpood go pc
-rdfl sseue,r.ltltede.r eql .+o uorlJnporde; eq1 e;rnbe't lou seop sseuelelduro3
sqdurSured
1r1ds .ro aurquoJ ol peprJop e.tuq furu JolelsueJl eql esneceq 'uorssnuo Jo
esec e eq lou feu ro r(eur 1r 'qclurusnu e pulJ nof 11 'uorlelsu€Jl pu? ecJnos
ur sqdur8ered lunoc ol eepr poo8 e sr 1r '.,(lprder uorlelsusJl e Suqceqc g1 eepl poof e sr -: ';
;}sq ruo;-1urod
iste11nq.rno,{ }unor ol JequeueJ ur crdol tueuod;.
e ssoJJu aruoc no,{ Jeleuoq1\ 'lJos srql Jo suorssruo plueprcJe ou eJnsue ol Jo eluJ E olul 1{
sr JesrAeJ eql Jo uorloury ,{e1 V 'polelsueJt ueeq lef lou seq acuerrnJco lsJrJ eql -s3r.u or{l
-1o
ur; -
JeUe IerJeletu eq1 q8noql ue.te 'uo spueJ pue eserqd eql Jo eouexncco puoces
€0t srotDlsuotJ tot Suutpg puo Sutstrcy dossotr4J uottg
104 Brian Mossop Revising and Mia

bear in mind that there may be various forms of hidden writing which are not (2) The sourcE E
immediately displayed on the screen, and may not appear even on a print-out. If
the translator is not too familiar with the software, whole chunks of source text Among studem
may have been missed. A very simple example: the translator is looking at the language knorle
Normal view of the text in Word, and as a result does not see the headers and waning when ru
footers, which are visible only in Page Layout view. More complex forms of translation abd
hidden text occur with presentation software and in HTML files.
There q"as ft
tion of coffs
3. Logic
A gloss of the ss
While a translation may well express ideas you find silly or outrageous, there 'la peur a jowt- 1
should not be any nonsense, contradictions between sentences, impossible tem- (therefore)Arm
poral or causal sequences, or other logical effors. Each part of the translation Here is an ex:
must make sense to the reader in its context. Lack of Logic can take two forms:
We are m*
(1) The source text itself is illogical, and the translator has not done anything vances arB I
about it.
Now, if you cail
Generally speaking, one can assume that the author intended something which them? Here tbe s
makes sense, but poor expression resulted in nonsense or contradiction for the of technologies- t

reader. Sometimes the intention will be very clear from the context, as when an translator \*'as rgr
author accidentally contradicts himself by claiming that the unemployment 'technologies' in
rate has gone up from 9.8 to 8.9 percent. However care must be taken in such technologies'- \
cases: either'up' could be wrong or the figures may have become inverted. If
the figures are confirmed by an accompanying graph, or by a reference to a
smile on the face of the employment minister, then 'up' can confidently be
4. Facts
changed to 'down'.
Although checki!
Here's an example of a passage that will likely be read as contradictory:
a central task ofb

Search the patent website to determine whether there are any inventions
tance, and clienn
similar to yours. If your preliminary search is negative, you can either These errors are r
drop your invention or make an improvement to it. introduced inadvr
you need to enil
Here the translator has not done anything about the source-text word rendered corrections in "'-
as 'negative'. It makes sense if 'negative' is taken to mean 'disappointing' (i.e. call the authm of
someone has beat you to this invention), but most readers will take it, on first In some cagr
reading, to mean a negative search outcome (i.e. no one has beat you to the significant: in '-
invention). But then, if no one has beat you, why should you drop the invention However it rnal'b
or make an improvement to it? author, not the trr
Finally, here's an example of a tautology which the translator blindly copied: Here's an €xt
reading a transla
Shorl-term consequences are temporary and do not usually last very long. across this senren
 :esueluos srql ssoJJu '3uo1 ,ftar s
eruoJ nof '1eunqu1 a.\rleJlsrurupu uu Jo s8urpug eql Jo uoqelsueJl e Surpuer
-eJ elrr{l['JoJJe Iunloq u Surcnpo.rlur JolulsuuJl e;o elduruxe ue s.eJeH :perdoc flpurlq -roi
'JolulsuuJ] eql lou 'Joqlne
eql o] enp sr Jorre eql luql ,(em eruos uI alBclpul o1 ,(.russeceu eq ,(uru lI JoAo,{AoH uorluelur eq do:p
'eleudorddu eq lou plno^\ uorlelsu€Jl Surrnp uorlJerroJ 'esec srql ur iluecrgru8rs eql o1 no,{ teaq s
eq feru slceJ erul eql Jo eouurou8r s.roqlnu ]xe] eJJnos eql 'sesuJ etuos uI ISJIJ uo 'lI 3{el lfl
'8urp.ro,tr s1r ur se8uuqc ol luerueeJ8u 1eB pue lxal ecJnos eql Jo Joqlne eqt IIeJ 'e'r) .Su4uloddesg
ileeqs eleredes u uo sJoxe eql oquJsep puu lsll luor1e1suu.t1 eql uI suollJeJJoc peJopueJ pto,r\ Lr
eluu :fue,r ,(eru qcrq.Lr 'seqsl A s.luerlt eql qll/t\ ecuerlduroc eJnsua o1 peeu no,(
'leur8uo eql ur lueseJd ere ,(eql JI 'JolulsueJl eq1 ,{q ,(llueuerrpeul paonporul
JOQITO rre-- rlL1,
eq seturleluos ,(uur ,(eql lnq '1uur3rro eql ur luoseJd uego lsolu em sJoxe eseqJ
suotlue-rur i
'ecuelrs ur JeAo peddqs ,{ldrurs lou eJu ,teqt JI }t eletcerddu slueIIJ pue 'ecuel
-rodurr elrluJrunruruoc;o ,(lsnorrr.qo eJe sJoJJe L{cns 'sJol€lsuuJl Jo {sul I?Jluoc e
:f"rolcrper]uit-.
lou sr sJoJJe Iecrleruaqleru puu pnldecuoc 'pnlJuJ JoJ txel e Suolceqc q8noqqy
eq fltuepgruor rn""
slrBd 't e ol acuoJe-Je: e i
JI 'peile^ul ?Irlr--\*1t
('.serSolouqcel eq1 Jo elrlulouul uolluzlllln, - .set8o1ouqce1 qcns ur ue{sl Jq t
sap eJrlulouur uorlusrlrln, sr qoueJd
eq;) ',esn, qllA Jo peelsul .ser8o1ouqce1, 1ueru,{olduraun aq
qlll( .e,{uulouur, peoJ puu 'e^Duepe Sureq }ou.ro ,(11cmb Surpue: sul\ Jolelsu€Jl uB ueq,r ss 't\:tuO:
eql ',(Fe.re1c eJoru ,(3o1ouqc4 Jeplo eql esn ol ,4Aoq 'sI leql 'serSolouqcel Jo eql JoJ uouJrpBn{k
esn e^rle^ouur e>lBru ol 1v\oq Surssncsrp ,(11en1cu sE,4A lxel eJJnos eql eJeH iueqt qcrq,Lr, Surqtaruos g
Jo asn eluur nof UBJ , Aot{ 'serSolouqcal lselel eq1 pJoJJu louu€c nof ;r ',Lro1q
'elqupJoJJs lou ere socuB^ Surqlfue euop trr-|u
-pB lselel er{l esneceq serSolouqcal eAIlBAouuI Jo esn Suuleur eJB e71[
:sruJoJ o,4A] e{sl {ru
:JolulsuuJl 3q1 ,(q pecnpoJlur Sureq uo4crpeJluoc;o eldruuxe uu sr eJeH uorlulsueJl srlt ,I0
'eeJJoJ ;o uorldurnsuoo Jrer{l petnpeJ suetlJeruv (e;ogereqt) -ue1 ayqrssodtm 's
puu ,{u1d olur etuur (secuenbasuoc 3o) ,rue; leql st ?urueeur eqJ '(gnot e rned e1, ereql'snoe3eJt['u--r
qcuerg) ,per(u1d JuoJ, oq p1no.lo. eouelues lsJrJ oq] JoJ lxel ecJnos eqt;o sso13 y
'eeJJoc
Jo uon
-durnsuoc rreql pecnpeJ sueolreruv 'euru8 eqt 3ur,{u1dyo JBoJ sul\ eroqJ
'salg
:3uqu!rp oeJJoJ elrssoJxe;o secuanbesuoc IBJIpeu aql lnoqu uollulsueJl Jo sruJoJ xaldrucr
e olur lde.rc luql esuosuou Jo ]lq slql JapISuoJ 'peJll Jo peqsru uaq,tr Suruun pue sJopseg arn 3a
uorluelle uroq sosue lr 'sJolulsu€Jl pecueuedxe Suoure ie8pelnoul e8un8uul eql tu Suuoo[ r! sj
-acJnos Jo >lc€l rrroq sesrJe uego esuosuou qJns 'seeurerl luapnls Suouty lxel ecJnos Jo s-Tilm
g '1no-1ugd u uo tre
'esuosuou pecnpolur suq Jolelsue4 erll lnq esuos se{utu lxel ecJnos aql (Z) lou eJE qcrq,r ;'uu
901 srololsuDq nl Suarpg puo Sutsmay dosso7tg uottg
106 Brian Mossop Rerisittg:;,., t-

The common law courts have already dealt with the charges of robbery Unsn, ' ::. ,

and extortion in the matter before us. lation. \

":....t
is deterrr...:: :
The intended readers will all be knowledgeable about the law, and will immedi- source Iei..
ately see that there is something very wrong here: robbery and extortion are One ::rr.- :.:
matters of criminal law, not common law. Furthermore, the reference is to a the n pi;.- :=.:
trial in Quebec, which does not use English common law but French civil law ence in lir -:.:
derived from the Napoleonic Code. A glance back at the French source text institutilr.. ..,:
reveals that there was no error in the original, which referred to 'les cours de source-l:--.: -: i
droit commun'. This means 'the regular law courts' or'the ordinary courts of reduce t:.;:. S
law'. (The French term for courts that deal with common law matters outside the rer i.:: " -
Quebec is 'cour de common law').
Note that this is not merely a mistranslation. There is an important differ- Te ,---.. "

ence between the Content parameters (errors in Fact and Logic) and the Transfer l!

parameters (Accuracy and Completeness). For someone comparing the transla- LLrsr, S.:
tion to its source, there may not seem to be much diff'erence, but the effect on :lu-i.
t-
--- :
the readers of the translation is not the same. Mistranslations will often pass fir'il - :.4 -
unnoticed, if they make sense, but the same is not true of Content errors. Logi- COIII: . :
cal errors and (for knowledgeable readers) f'actual errors are egregious: they ber',,:...:.,
immediately call into question the competence of either the source-text author
(if the reader does not know the text is a translation) or the translator.
6. Tailorin
A final point on this parameter: revisers generally come from a linguistic
rather than a scientific background. As a result, they often fail to be on the
The tran:r..- -
lookout for mathematical mistakes. It's ever so easy to let slip by a sentence
For eran.:.: .

which tells us that 68Vo of the respondents to a survey were men and 12Vo were
Computel. :, . -
women - an impossibility.
actions s-: -:
For more on Fact errors, see Chapter 6.
The ir.:,.:.
degree o: :,. . ',
5. Smoothness Iary mu.t :. '-
very nar:a ''i . :
This parameter and the next two (Tailoring and Sub-language) cover the area efs afe !::'::.-
commonly called 'style'. Smoothness is discussed in more detail in Chapter 4. used u h;i ',,, -
Generally speaking, the meaning should come across to the reader on first of bureuu--. -, -
reading at normal reading speed. If it does not, the problem will often be one of its inten;e : .--
poorly organized sentence structures or poor connections between sentences, While r:.. :
perhaps due to careless imitation of the word order or the connector words SOUTCe Ia:-.. .::
('this', 'therefore') of the source text. An example of a common problem is the use ..: ..-.= ..
poor sequencing of verb tenses from sentence to sentence, as well as improper oral prcr;:.:. - ,
selection of tense. In translation fiom French, for example, a common form of the tran!.,: -
another :r:;
-l
the verb can be rendered in English either by the simple past or the perfect (a
translator was hired / a translator has been hired); both will be perf'ectly gram- (false st.::..:-:
matical, but often only one will lit the flow of the argument. fusion or i , ',r. .-'
uorlJaftelur Jo uorlrledeJ Iuuolsetro aql lsnl 'Surpeer;o ssecord eql .lAols Jo uoISnJ
-uoc esnec 01 elqull e.re ,{eql ecurs 'pe,toruoJ uoeq e.teq (suorltleder 'sge1s asp.;) -uer8 ,{pr-.ul:
e8en8uel IBJo Jo seJnleeJ oql .]o lsoru 1l?rll )Joqo ol peau no1 'esEO Jeqloue u) ]cegrad :qr -,,
uo Suryo,tt s,{eurolle .{q ecue'te;a.r e se ,(11ue1IS pueJ oq l1llvr uollulsueJl oql JO TUJO.J UOLU,: , :
lnq - ilnoJ ur luerunS.re ue e{eru ol pasn eJo,l.r spJo.4l eql - s8urpeeco;d 1u.to rado;drur s! :':Y
go lducsuerl u eq .{eru lxel eoJnos eql 'eldruexe Jod 'lxat eJJnos eql lo esn eql sr urelqo.rd u,,:
ruoJJ JeJJrp .{eu
11e,r,r 1nd eq IIr^\ uorlelsueJl eql qJlqlY\ o1 esn eql 'lxe1 esJnos spJo,r Jolr;u: :
aqt ro drqsrepuer eql ol Jelrturs eq uego fre,r. 1p,u. dtqs:epuer eql allq1& 'seSueJuas u::1':
'eJuerpnP popuolu slr JO euo Jq u:L,- '-
ot pesseJppe eq o1 ;eedde lou ,{uru lxol eqt 'esl^\Jeqto 'e3un3ue1 JItEJcnl?eJnq.Jo ISJrJ uO r3pr;l ::
spBJ lselel eqt 'eldruexe;o; 'e8en8uul elqurlsepun eq ,(lprurou plno^\ tBI{,t\ pesn 'y ratdeq3 -;. ':r:
sBrl JolelsueJl eqt luql IJeqJ ol peeu ,{utu no,( '(sgedxa ra1eu-lrelqns eJe sJJ eeJE er{l J3"ir ;
-p€eJ pepuelur IIe 'sr luql) sdlqsJep€eJ ,lAoxeu qll16 'puotq fre,,r, .to ,no;-reu .{re,t
eq ,,(eur drqs;apeer eql 'sJapeeJ eqt.+o le^el uolleJnpe eql ol pellns eq lsnru frul
-nqeco^ eql pue 'euol e.trlorue lq8u oql pue .{lqucruqcel puu ,$rpruro;;o ee;8ep
tq8rr eql 'sr tuql'.e8en8uel Jo Ie^el, tq8u eqt e^uq tsnru uolt€lsuurl eI{J
'uorlelsueJl oql ur lno les suorlJ€
;o ecuenbes aql 8ur,Lro11o; resn relndruoc pcrd,(1 e eur8etut lsnu nof 'relndruoc eJeh\ ob..f plt '_:
€ ur pJEc oaprl B 3ur11u1sur roJ suollonrsur se,tt8 luorunJop eqt;t 'eldruuxo Jod
OCUaIUAS e ..; :-
'lr Jo o{eru p,u faql esn eql ol pue sJepBeJ sll ol petlns eq 01 seq uoll€lsuer eql
aql uo aq tr: i.l:
crlsrn8utl E ::-i-:-
3u1ro11u; '9 'lol:i: *-
Jor{lne lxat-:-'.I: -
'cr3o1 ro sseuqloous 01 sJeJel lr reqleq,^d req .{eql :snori:::-;
-tueureJ o1 .{4 pue dots ol ea,eq no,{ ',uolseqoJ, ,{es 'ueql;o euo o} eruoJ -r3o1 'srou; --:-
no,,( ueq,tl luqt sr llnser aql 'Jelrrurs os ere feql luq] sI 's3rlsrn8url uorg ssed uel-+o lir'!' :
po,^d.ouoq ueeq e^pq qcrg.^a 'sruJel o,4d,l eseql qtg.tt ruelqord oqJ 'seepl uo tceJJe eqr r:.
Jo 1(ou oql ecuereqoJ 'spJoly\ Jo eql sr uorseqos '1nd ,{1durr5 'cr3o1 -elsueJt aqr iu*-:,
^dou
01 reJer 01 .ocuereqoc, luJel ?q] pue ssouqloorus ol raJal ol .uolseqoc, JOJSU€JI aqr f'.
uuel aql sesn sourleuros uollBISuBJJ uo oJnleJellle\I'atou t(3o1ouuuta1 -leJllp lu€uLli::
'spJo,r e8en8uel-ecJnos peznururu suq Jolulsul?Jl eql luql {Jeqc ol JosIAaJ oql
epISlnO SJ?lll-L !
ro; lueuodur sr lr 'elulsuurl ol sI JolelsuuJl e;o .finp IsJIJ eql oJUIS 'ueql eJnpeJ .\Ji--:j
JO SUnOr
ol uelul eq plnoqs uorlce 'sJeqlo u1 'pertnber eq .{utu setuBu e8en8uel-ecrnos ep sJnoJ sal. :r
'sluetunrop p8el ,(lqetou 'se.rue8 etuos uI 'suoqectlqnd Jo sellll puu suollnlllsul q:,;
lxel eJJnos
Jo seruuu 'elduexe rog 'seserqd e8en8uul-ecrnos ,,{ueut Jo uollelsueJl eql ul eJue ,4AUI IrArJ qru;:j
-serd eql sr (e8en8uul ecJnos eql ,t.rou>I lou seop oq,4A euo 'e'r) repeer pord,{1 eqt e ol sI eJual:l:-
rog ecuerredxe Surpeer qloous B qll{\ oJeJJolul{1elrur;ep ueJ IBI{I Surqt eug eJe uoruol\e :'i;
'lxel esJnos
-rporulur III f, i-
er{l Jo ssauqlootus eql lou 'uollulsuur1 oq} Jo esn pue Jesn eql fq peultuJelep sI
eer8ep eleudordde eql lnq'elqeldeccu eJu sseuqlootu5 lo see:8ep 8ur,(ren 'uoqel
-su€r eql ur Surlr.r,Lr qloousun f;rlsnllouuuJ eJJnos eqt ut Sutltr,tr qlootusun .{reqqo: -,. .,
l0I sr otDlsuDiJ .tr{ 8u4tpV puo Sutstt ay dosso74 uoug
108 Brian Mossop Revising ari E,:

should be left to remind the reader of the oral nature of the source text ('he..he rect. The reri.'
said that, well, ...'). there is nLr : :
Tailoring is discussed in more detail in Chapter 4. Sub-lanru'-
of presentlni :'
gut:'
7. Sub-language source-lan

Each genre and each field of writing in the target language draws on a different 8. Idiom
selection of the lexical, syntactic and rhetorical resources of that language. A
syntactic example: minutes of meetings are normally presented in the past tense
In everr i;;t.:.
in English; French, on the other hand, uses the present. Thus minutes would be words are :;::-"
grammatical but inauthentic if they contained a sentence like 'Mary reports on
idiomaticit'. :.:
client complaints'.
in translatit,:" ::
Another syntactic matter is that where one genre will call for noun-based
ones - ar- rr,
structures ('the exigencies of penury'), another will prefer verb-based struc-
idiomatic ::':-:
tures ('the things that you have to do if you're poor'). The latter is more
is perfectli ,;"
speech-like, less formal.
English. -':;. .
The most obvious aspect of sub-language that requires checking is field-
idiomaticr:i. -,
specific terminology. In most translation jobs, the terminology has to be that
ones. Thi: :: :i
used by specialists who are native speakers of the target language, or else the
tors) shou-; :t
in-house terminology specified by the client. However, with texts being trans-
Some t:.-::
lated for information only, clients may accept wordings that convey the meaning
by natir e >:'a.:
even if they are not terminologically correct.
ever. this r.: .::
In some jobs, it is also important to use the typical phraseology of target-
humorou. p.:s'
language writers on that subject. The translator, if not familiar with field specific
phrasings, should have consulted parallel texts, that is, original writing in the
After '.;;'
whether a '::-j
field by native speakers of the target language. For example, in meteorology,
the sourc: -':-.
one does not speak of 'the winds at high altitudes' (French 'vents en altitude')
ple, 'set "::.,-
or 'high above the ground'. Instead one speaks of the 'upper winds' or the
en train' .
'winds aloft' - an expression which sounds faintly poetic/archaic in everyday
In an :,...:
English but is quite neutral and very common in meteorology journals. Another
checkins:-: -
example: in the part of Canada's government bureaucracy that deals with un-
this pas.".: -:
employment insurance, public servants in their internal writings speak of the
unemployed'applying for benefit', with'benefit'in the singular, whereas in
De .:'.. :
everyday English people talk about applying for 'benefits' (plural). A final ex- slisil: --'
ample: the translator has written 'population health' instead of 'public health' cl0u:-,: '-:
in a translation from French. Now, 'population' is indeed often a gallicism in a ne'.\ ::,:
translations from French, but as it happens, for certain specialized purposes, to e1:,,-::
Canada's health ministry does use'population health'.
In many translation jobs, revising to achieve authentic phraseology would In Frencl. :, .

be a waste of time. For example, if the authorities who decide on eligibility for populati,-':i: -,"
disability benefits have asked for translations of an immigrant's old medical is perfec:,'* .-.
reports, the important thing is to get the medical content and terminology cor- this uar. .: ,;
lq8nu 1r sduq.red) leunol fSoloqlruro uE uI eIJIuu uB uI lou lseal lE ',(e,tr srql -roc ,,(3o1ourm-r:
unouo:d leuosred eqt esn 1,uop lsnl e,r,r 'qsq8ug ur lng 'elqeldeccu ,{ltcegred sr Iusrperu plo s_lu
'(puel.rez1l.,trrg qcueJd 'esul slql ur) ppotr eql Jo BeJ€ .Jno, uI 3ut,Lt1 suoqelndod ro3 f1q1qf1a m
eurr8ered eq1 Surueeru '(,eurr8ered rno, .{11ure1r1) .uuelqd eJlou, 'qJueJd uI plno^\,Go1o:*r
'uorlcurlxe ol
'sasodrnd p€4lu
Surpeel ,(lqrssod 'eurr8ered rno Jo euIIJep snorlseslp e{ull slql puu ,4aeu u ur ursrcqp8 u ua
;o u8rs oql eq ol peJ?eJ s€,^A puu {oollno lngedoq,(lsnora,erd eql pepnolc .q1peq cqqnd. -1
srr{J 'eer€ eql ur uorlelndod eur.lSered aql uI eseeJcep peurcldxeun 1q8r1s
-xa purJ Y'f [eml
? s€,^A
oroql 'ue{u} ueeq puq leql seJnseoru e.tncelo.td snolrel eql e}rdseq
ur seereq.n 'ruJni
aql 3o leads si
:suocleJ auu8e;ed uo uollelsu?Jl E tuo4 e8ussed srql
-un qlr,r slsap w
JeprsuoJ 'e8en8uel 1a3r4 eqt ur ..{es l,uop lsnl e'lt, leql 3uqilue ro; Surlceqc
Jeqtouv'qeumof
sapnlJur osp .Qrcrleuolpl JoJ Suqceqc 'rurel aql Jo esuas pepualxe uu uI
'.uluJl ue ,(ep.,(raae ur Jrq
aql ro ,spur.r r:
oJlletu, qJueJd;o enblec u 1ou 'qsq8ug flelrur;ep sI .uIPJl ur sseoord e 1as, 'eyd
(.epn1q1e uJ qaa,i
-ruexo rog 'leql nof ernssuar ueql IIL4A ,{reuotlcrp poo8 y 'e8en8uel eJJnos oql
',{Soloroalau ur';
yo enblec u ueql JoqleJ'qsg8ug clletuolpl sr , 1eer uotssardxe uleuec e teqleq,4A
aql ur SuuFr Jeu
aJns lou e;e no,( leq] puIJ selullatuos fetu nof '3ur1e1suer1 ;o sree.,( regy
'suo4eurqruoc pJol( Iensnun JoJ slluo luql eSussud snoJorunq cryceds pleg qtltr
-le8rul 3o iFolot
E sr eJeql sselun 's:o1e1suur1 .,(rurelq-uou JoJ uolleJoplsuoc e ,{1eru.r st srql 're,te
-,li\o11 '(crleruorprun uolllulJep ,,(q sr eBenBuEI e^Ilu^ouur) sreleeds e.ttleu fq
Suruueru aqt ia.t
.&lr,r.to elrleeJc peJeprsuoJ eq feru e8un8uel clluruolplunJo secuelsul e{uos
-suer1 Suraq slrat
'e8un8uel le8rq eql;o sreleeds e,\Il€u eq ppoqs (srot
oql asle ro 'aFe'nfr
-elsueJl uBql eJotu ue,,le) sresr,.er fq,t uosseJ ul€tu eql sdeq;ed sI sIqJ 'souo
luql eq or seg .i6
crlBruorpr eql eJu suorleurquoc qclq^\ ./Y\ou)I ol e,ruq fldurs no,( ifltctluruotpt
-plelJ sl 3ur,1mql
ol uoseeJ ;o eur.{q: ou sr eJer{J 'qleal rno,( qsnJq Jo ueelc nof 'qst18ug
q 'pesn tou sr U lnq 'elqepuutsrepun puu 'qsq8ug uI luclt€tutuurS fllce;red st eJou sr J3rr3[ aq
spJo,r Jo uorlBurquoc srqJ '.qleot sq peqsua, s? qsns suolluulqluoc sllBluolpl
-Jru1s pssq-qra-\
-un 'lxol oJJnos oql Jo ecuengul oql Jopun 'Sutcnpord ol euord eJ€ - souo
pessq-unou Jo-I II
poo8 uea.e sJo1elsuer'.,(1snorro1o51 'lueJeJJIp f.re,r st uollenlls aql'uollelsueJl uI
-
JeAe,roH ';eleeds elrluu u lou sI JelIJl( eql sselun urelqord e lou sl(ltctluurorpt
uo suoder r.rel{-
'ryo,l 8u4rpe uI 'suorleurqtuoc JIlBruoIpI eqt em aseqJ 'posn ,(1pn1cu eJs spJo^\ eq plno^L satnurn,
Jo suorleurqruoJ elqrssod flpcrleruruer8 eql Jo aluos ,(po 'e8un8uul .fte.l,e u1
esuel lsed ae uI ps
y 'a8un8ue1 regr g
Iuolpl '8 IueJoJJrp E uo s,tr'[l
',{l runruuoc e8enBuel-ec;nos
eq] ur pesn sr l€q,r uro4 JaJJrp feru luql sluarun8re ro sedrcer Sutlueserd ;o
,(u.,t,r pcrdr! u sI oJoql :eJnlJnJls erue8 3o seJnleeJ sepnlJur osp e8un8uel-qng
'Jrluaqlne punos 01 JoJ peeu ou sI oJoql
1I
os 'uortelsuurl u Surpuer ere feql t€ql ile,rt .{1tce;.red .t.rou>I
srepuer eqJ 'lJoJ eq"eq,) txel ef,Jrxt$
60t srololsuDq tot Suatpg puo Sutsttay dosso7lg uo! tg
1t0 Brian Mossop Revisirts ,;,'.: !.

work in a birding column in a local newspaper). 'Our' needs to be replaced Glli.. i:-
with'the'. sure >a- -:
In this extended sense, checking fbr idiomaticity also includes keeping an
eye out for differential frequencies of linguistic features. For example, a sen- where the :,".
tence structure may be perfectly grammatical in the target language but not as sentence. I: :
frequent as in the source language. Generally speaking, the less frequent a fea- the-9uard:..,
cels. etc
' ',\':
ture, the more punch it has, so the effect in the target language will in such
'problen.'
cases be too strong. In translations from French, one often finds sentences like
the following (taken from an English-Canadian newspaper reporting. in trans-
If the i:-'
the sour;; .:r .
lation, what a Quebec judge had written in French):
source l;n_:-,.
ample. ir Fic:
It's notbecause you are in politics that you forsake the right to protect
your reputation. must be ':.i.
nated. ar:i tr t
This imitates the extremely common French structure 'ce n'est pas parce que x dozens t-. : -. i
que y' (it is not because x that y). French sentences with this structure should ing on rc::..-
usually be inverted: 'You do not forsake the right to protect your reputation C apr:. -, :. -

simply because you are in politics'. Or, if the word 'reputation' needs to be of proper :.::
stressed: 'The fact that you are in politics does not mean that you forsake the reader. F,-,: :i,.
right to protect your reputation.' the sour;: i;.'
The question of frequency also extends to checking matters that may be will leac : : :
ranged under the broad heading of comparative stylistics. For example, French English.
often uses rhetorical questions where English would not; it frequently repeats
noun phrases where English would use a pronoun; it has a tendency to express a 10. La1'or
point in the negative where English would use the positive ('The fact that he
controls less than 407o of the shares doesn't mean that he doesn't control the
Page lar,- -. ..
company' instead of 'He may still control the company even though he controls
hard to ::.:
less than 407o of the shares'.)
betueen ; ,---
Che.'!: , '
9. Mechanics or not ir::r::
headins. = .
Aside from finding any errors in grammar, spelling, punctuation and usage, you Che:r-,,.
must ensure that the text conforms to any style manual or house style sheet that Compare ,:: "

has been specified for the particular job you are revising. (See Chapter 3 for is to L'e :-:.,
more on style sheets.) In translation, unlike in original writing, syntactic errors visible. ':: .

often arise from the influence of the source text. So one may find, in a transla- elemeni. -: :
tion from French, a completely ungrammatical sentence such as 'He accepts to device: -i...
comply with all regulations'. Unlike the French verb'accepter', the English (for erir.:..
verb 'accept' cannot appear in this syntactic structure; it needs to be changed to ter te\L
'agree'. French syntactic structures involving parenthetical expression also dif- Chei...:,
fer liom English, and if the French use is uncritically copied the result could be the sour;: -; i
a sentence like: ruies ol .:- -'
 '(3urlu,rt-re11e1 ur se) 1nofu1 luoJeJJIp e el€lclp e8en8uel 1e3.rq eql Jo selnJ
erue8 eqt sselun'euop uaeq s€q sql teql >lJeqc plnoqs sJeslled'lxel oJJnos eql aq plnor liri::j
Io luql ,4AolloJ
plnoqs 1no,(e1 eql lEql Jeuq eql;o ged su .{;tceds ,{eut s1uaq3 -JIp OSF UL-r-' -
'(lxe1 Jel ol peSuEq: :,- ,
-Joqs eql JoJ utunloJ Je.4AoJJeu e esn 'epts-,(q-epls eJe slxe] eql;r 'eldruuxe ,ro3) qsq8uS :1,- -
e8en8uel q3eo ol petolep Suteq ecuds lenba;o uolsnlll eql e.tr8 luql seJl^ep o1sjderrr :--r.
1no,(e1 Sursn .(q slql pIoAE ol lue,tA .,(eu noa 'Sursstru eru Surueau Jo slueruels
'*i -:-
-EISUEJI E
sJepeeJ etuos 'Jeqlo eqt ueql Jeuoqs ,(lquecqou sI auo pue 'elqlsl^ s:o.ue frl-.it*',.
lurql futu
,{lsnoeuellnurs qloq ore slxet eql g1 '(lueuncop e18uts e se peqsllqnd eq o1 st ;o; g r:td:---r ;
se8en8uel qloq ur lxol aqt 'elduexe ro;) uorlelsu€Jl eql puu eJJnos eql aredruol leql laaqs ;- .--
o1 f1ery1 eJe sJepuoJ eruos JI lueuodrut .,(pelncrged st 1no.,(e1 aqt SuQceUJ no,{'aiesr-. r'-
'3'e) s8utpeeq
;(perluec '3'e) e8ed eqt uo peceld,{1re1nuts (s8urpueq uollces
1e11urud arv Zpeuoltlsod ,,(1:epurs s8ur1s11 ruro;-lutod lle arv apoluapul lou ro
peluepur reqle sqde.r8ured 11u oJe :luelslsuoo sululual 1no,(e1 leql ool {JeqJ
'(sa1qa punoJu 'surunloJ ueo,no.loq
'suorlces uee,tleq) Sutceds puu sur8reur alenbepe JoJ {ceqo os 'pEoJ ol pJeq sloJluos :L- _:- ,
sr edfl qll.4A
perxruu;c e8ed y ',{lrpqepeeJ uI Jolce.+ luelrodurr ue st 1no.{e1 e8e4 eql loJlurr.':.*:.;
3q ]uq] tlEl ;_*L
lnofB-I '0I e ssaJdr: c,- "i:-
sleedar .i,r;:-:;
'qsqBug qcuaJl ':',j'-,': r
ur elqelre^E sr {ooq eqt }eql 'f18uor,u flqrssod 'lulql ol ropueJ eql puel IILI eq ,{eru lf---- .-:
]Bql 'uorlelsuerl qsrlSug eql uI pezqultdec uaqt sI ellp sql pue 'lxel eoJnos eql
eQl a)iES,:i-r . ,.
ur o] peJJeJeJ sr luelunJop e8en8uel-acJnos e Jo ellll eqt;t 'elduexo Jod 'JopeeJ
aq ol sP3:L .i:l
eql Surpuelsrur pro^E 01 rapJo ut 'uo os puu selJlue .to sollll 'setueu rado:d ;o
uorlelsueJl eql ol seruoc lI uoq,t tq8noql ptceds e.rrnber .{eut uotleztlelrde3
uorleind:: :. , ',
'ned e8en8uul .rno,{ uo 8ur plnoqs al:1rr:;:
x enb a,'r::i r::
-puedep 'pa{reqo eq ot poeu ,{eut leqt sllulep IecruuqJetu lletus qrns Jo suezop
'fleleungo;un 'e.re e;eql 'I Z'000't$ qtr.r,r peculder oq tsntu $ t Z'000 t pu€ 'poleu
-rurle eq lsntu uoloc e eJoJeq ecuds eql ' .,"',, ol <""> uIoU pe8uuqc eq lsnru
l-.ati-; - -,
sryeru uorlulonb;o eduqs eql 'epuueJ uI uollelsueJl qsrlSug-o1-qJueJd uI 'eldure
-xe Jod 'suorluoluoc e8en8uel-le8Jel qlIA\ pecelde; ueeq e^Bq e8un8uul ecJnos
eql Jo suoquea,uoc Surlu,Lr-Joqunu pue uollenlsund eqt sJns eq 'lxel eJJnos eql
-suPJl Ur ';--r-.; '
Jo uorsJel oluo4Jele ue Je.l'o 8urd,& ,(q petude,rd uaeq seq uoIlBISueJl eql JI e{rl ssJu:-i;) !:
.sura1qo;d,
!. :::'
I{Jns uI {ll
ol uorlsoddu ur eJe ,slocrud lcedsns, pue .slou, 'e8ueqc sgl qll,41'.(c1a's1a:
-€e3l e lueni::,- .
-red lcedsns 's1orr) surelqord ,{lrrnces elpu€q uuo JJels leql os lsod p"ren8 eql
Se lou lnq;.--r-:-:
ruor;"', :e>p1 Surqlaruos alIJ^\ ol fresseceu aq plno,4A t1 'qsr18ug uI'oJuelues '.'',;
-ues e 'a1d'
eql Jo tseJ eqt ol {uII crlcelu.{s ou sBI{ stseqlue;ud eq1 ul leuolutu aql eJeq,4 uu Suida:) .;:-'
'(c1e 'slecred lcedsns 's1ou) .(ltrnces erns
-ue ol Jepro ur lsod pren8 eql IUoq ,^[eL\ pooS e JoJJo lsntu slle,^A sselg peceid:r ru - :l
srolDlsuDtJ to{ 3ut11pg puo Sutsraay dossolS'tt:':.";
tIt
u2 Brian Mossop Revising art E

11. Typography Further rr

The main things to check for here are moderation and consistency in the use Error classrlL:;
of fonts. It will be hard to read a text in which too many words are bolded, et al. tlvYlY
italicized, capitalized, underlined or coloured. Also, be sure each device is con-
sistently used for the same purpose (e.g. bolding to pick out special terminology;
italicization for any source-language words retained in the translation).
Where the source text uses bolding, italicization or underlining for empha-
sis, make sure this has not been mechanically repeated in the translation. The
emphasis must make sense in the target language.
Check that all headings of the same depth (e.g. subsections) have the same
typographic treatment: are they all bolded? Are they all the same font size? If
font size changes for indented material, does it change back to the original size
after the indent ends?

12. Organization

The organization of the translation as a whole is important in enabling readers

to navigate through the text and perceive its structure.
Check, for example, that page references in the body of the text are correct:
the passage referred to may well be on page 26 of the source-language docu-
ment, but it may be on page 24 of the translation.
Also make sure that the numbering or lettering of headings, subheadings,
chapter/section titles, figures and tables, as well as their wording, exactly match
that found in the Table of Contents. Sometimes translators (or revisers !) change
a section heading in the body of the text but forget to make the same change in
the Table of Contents. Word processors do contain a feature for automatically
creating and revising a Table of Contents, but many people find it hard to use.
If there is an error in numbering in the source text (e.g. section '6' is fol-
lowed by another section '6'), make sure this is reproduced in the translation
unless the client approves a correction. Signal the error in a note.
Finally, don't forget to check isolated bits of prose such as headers and
footers, and captions.
Revisers sometimes do not pay sufficient attention to the Presentation pa-
rameters. This may be a holdover from the days of typewriters, when revisers
attended to Transfer, Content and Language, and left Presentation to typists.
editors and printers. After the appearance of word processors in the 1980s, how-
ever, an expectation arose that translators would themselves produce a neat,
attractive document. Poor presentation creates a very bad impression and may
encourage clients to go elsewhere. Revisers must therefore ensure a certain
minimum 'beauty' even when the brief does not call for 'camera-ready' copy.
 ',(doc .ip::--.-,
UIBUOJ ! a*:!-:
feru pue uc.::;-
'leeu € err.:--:
-,roq's086r;j,
'stsrd,(t ol '- - l-'-,
SJOSIAaJ Ui'- :'. :
-ed uorletu:r:-:
pue sJepE:,r ):
:-
UOIIEISUEJI :::- -
-loJ sr .9. i,_ ._r:
'esn ol pJ!-- -: :
,{llectieurt::r : .
ur e8ueqr ?'-L::
e8ueqc (; sr;::' :
qrleru ip:::,.: :
's8urpuaqqr=.-
-ncop airn-:-: -
:IJOIIOJ Jli r''.;:
sJepeeJ iu.-:, -;
ezrs leurSu: ::-
JI 6azls lu.r- : *i
eules aql 4".:-j :
aqJ 'uorlEi> -n*
-uqdruaro-,.--
'1 Lt'
-l' :
i,(3o1ounu,:- ';.
-uoc sr 3:r".:l -:
'G66r)'p p 'peploq a:r ::-
elsr1eq :,{So8eped uoIlEISuEJl go sasodrnd ro3 ,(SolouruJel pue uoIleJIJISSl?lJ JoJJA esn eql "-
ut I -;,:t
Sulpear raqpnf,
ETt srotDIsUDU .tol 7uttlpg puo 8utstt ay dossol tit-:,c
 Revising ond Et

11. Degrees of Revision 1. Shalllch

2. Shall I chs
Imagine that you are taking a final glance through a lengthy English translation.
3. Within ead
Thus rlidi
To your horror, you notice that some subheadings have all words capitalized
Langlagr.
while some have only the first word capitalized. Does this mean that quality
4. What &gn
control has failed, and that you should immediately set about making the capi-
text? (On c
talization consistent? No. The question is: just how important was it to catch
this problem? With one text, it may be very important; with another, not impor-
Full or pania
tant at all. Many readers may not notice, and even if some do, it may not create
a bad impression in the case of a relatively ephemeral text, one which will be
read by only a few people within the organization for information purposes, and
Regarding Qa
then discarded. Tolerance for errors, awkward writing, even minor mistransla-
A. Full readi4
tion, varies with the type of text. It may also vary with urgency: the client will trad
Read the
prefer to have an awkwardly worded document before the meeting at which it
ness, compalE
will be used than a beautifully worded document after the meeting. re-reading. r'-l
As we saw in Chapter 1, there are a great many things that can go wrong (you suspect e'
when writing or translating, and consequently there is a very long list of things
to see what the
you might check - or not. In this chapter, we'll look at how to determine the
a full unilingua
degree to which you will revise a text, and the consequences of less-than-full
revision. B. Scanning
Read the title r
Factors in determining degree of revision or paragraphs :
the last sentflr
In professional work, one does not have all the time in the world. And it is not so many p4ges
just that the client is expecting the revised text by a particular, not far-off date. questionable.
Economic considerations come into play as well: the more translations you com-
plete in a given amount of time, the better off you or your employer will be. C. Spot-chdi
You must therefore consider whether you are going to do a time-consuming full Read the titk r
revision of the text, checking for problems in all four groups of parameters selected parasl
discussed in Chapter 10 (Transfer, Content, Language and presentation). selected passag
questionable-
lf you have severaljobs going at once, you must also consider whether they
all merit equal attention. Better to devote the available hours to texts which
D. Glnnce
merit more work. There is not much point in spending vast amounts of time on
Read the tide o
the stylistic editing of a text which is relatively ephemeral. If you do a less than
full revision of these texts, you will have more time for a full revision of texts Reading the tid
that merit it (those which will be read by many people over a long period of
are any fyp%n
time, or by people outside the organization, or possibly by a few highly placed will immediard
people who may get an unfavourable impression of the translation service if
When a ten
they find errors). time for seH-rsr
Here are the choices available to you, expressed in the form of questions: So scanning ar
'lxe] oqt Jo relr€nb lsEI eql uo pesncoJ eq tqSru Suqceqc-lods puu Sutuuecs o5 :suotlsant -- --
'lxel eql ro pue oql pJe,4Aor sJorle eJoru oq IIa,IA feur a;eql 6uoISI^3J-JIes JoJ oIrIIl
qcnu e^€q lou plp JolelsueJl eqt pu€ '.("trnq u uI pol€lsueJl s€,4 lxel u ueq6 JI eOIAleS Ul.-!':.
']uerlJ Jo JepBeJ eql uo uorsse;drur peq u oleeJs ,(lelerpeurur p,rl peceld ,(1qi:: r.=-
tur{l 'txel aql Jo utls ,{:err eq} ]e spJo,^A Sursstut Jo sJorlo luctqde;3od.{l .,(ue e;e go pouad irl' r
eJeql JI esnecog ;r{q6 'runulullu eJEq e st qdurSered lsrr; pue epll aq} Surpees Slxel Jo uol: -",;-
uBql ssal e c': : .
'qdur8ered lsrrJ eqt puu e8ed JO^oJ eqt ro ellll eqt peod UO OUIII ,Itl S:r-- , :
nuDI9'Q qJrqA\ st\:t -_ :-
.{eq1 .reqtrq- .'". :::,
'elqeuottsenb
'( uolt:-L;'::.
sr e8essed € ueq^\ put8uo eq] ol Je-+eJ tsnl ro 'leut8t.ro eql o1 se8essed palceles
SreleUe:eC - .:'
,(luropuu.r e.redruo3 'lxel oJllue eq] Je,\o puerds se8ed ;o sqdurSerud pelsoles
11ng 3urun. - - :-:
(luropuur puel uaq]'qdu:3ered tsJIJ oqt puu e8ed re^oJ eql ro elUl eql p€o5
'eQ :: "' ':::
Suplcaqc-1odg'3 llllr
-ruoc no.i::,-.-:':
'elepJJo-lr-l--_
'elquuotlsanb
lou sr lr puY :,j.
sr e8essed E uoq^\ put8t;o aql ol JeJeJ lsnf -ro 'luut8uo eql ol se8ed .(ueru os
,{ra,r.e e8essed e e;udruo3 'e8ed qcee uo "ro qdurSured qcee Jo eJueluas lsel eql
ro 'e8ed ;eqto ,fuele uo qderSe:ed 1s,rr; aqt :sl€AJelul ;uln8er lu sqder8ered ro
socuelues peer ueqt 'qdu-r8e"red lsrlJ eqt puu e8ud re^oc eql ro ellll eqt pEaU
Suruuncg'g
IInJ-u?q]-ss:' _. :
'Surpee; len8uqrun 1n; u eql aur[u;-;: ,,-
'(s.{us ecrnos aql leq,4A ees ol s8urqt-lol:.':-,'
lseel t€ op s,(emp plnogs no,( 'Sutsr,ter-Jlos ueqlA
peeu no.( pue JoJJe ct3o1 e punoJ elsq no.(.ro 'ue1qo-rd JeJSus.IJ e lcedsns no,() Suor.tr oS *:: -r
elqeuorlsenb sr a8essud € ueq,^A fluo 1xe1 eoJnos eql ol JeJeJ 'sI luql 'Sutpeel-er : -:-+
pn8uqlun e op esr,4AJeqlo 'lxel leut8t.to eql o] eJuelues qcee el€duroc 'sseu 1l qllq n r? :,--:,;-.
-e1e1duro3 pue .(cernccy ,ro1 Suqceqc oJs no,( ;1 'llnJ ul uollslsueJl eql pueg III^\ lu3lI-^:;: ':
Surpnat nni 'V -UISUEJI:Ir.- -: ,.:
pue'sasod-r::-:
:setlqtqtssod eql Jo eluos eJe eJeI{'1 uorlsen} Surpre8aS eq III\\ U-.:! :" ;_:
OJEOJJ luri- "-:: -
i\raq) IDurqd ro IUc -rodrur ttr-- "-!-r 'j
qJIEJ ol ll :!'r .-
1'1 retduUJ aes 'fcuetsrsuoo u6) ilxel -rdur aqt il..:'-:'-' -
eql ;o slcedsE l{ctq,^A JoJ pue 'ecJo;ue I IIEqs fcue}srsuol;o eer8ep leq11 'V ,{1r1enb tELl- r:.'l
'ssouqlootus uo snJoJ ol aplsep lq8rur no.,( 'e8en8uel peztlelrde: s::- ",,.
urqlr^\ isseueleyduoJ uo snJoJ 01eploap lq8rur no,( 'JoJSu€JJ ulqtl^\ snqJ 'uOIl€lSuEll -'r 'i:'
qcee uqtll11 'c
arueqt Jo euos lsnl ro sreteluerud IIu auruuxe I ileqs 'dnor8
,z
lsreleuaed;o sdnor8 JnoJ IIU Jo eeJql 'o,lrt] 'auo JoJ {JeqJ I IIeqS
.I
itr 3o gud lsnl ro 'lxel arllue eql >lJaqr I IIUqS
9It s.totolsuDrJ to[ 3ut11pg putt Sutsttt ay
il6 Brian Mossop Reylsllig .;':; 5,

If time permits, it is a good idea to make a separate check for accurate repro- 4. Wh1" x'i// rftt
duction of numbers in any text where numbers are impofiant to the message. If some oi .*-t
The choice of scanning or spot-checking is only a starting point. If you are the conte:i , -

using one of these methods and discover several language errors, or several Lan,euage :-:
cases where a check with the original reveals mistranslation, then you will want of a single :e:,
to revert to method A, or even return the iob to the translator for further self- ther docu:.;::
revision. the readei ','' i-,
Unilingual re-reading (i.e. without looking at the source text unless a pas- conveved.
sage seems suspicious) can be very effective. At workshops, participants who
have never tried it are often surprised at how many errors can be detected in this
5. Hov'v'ill rhn
way. In particular, one can get quite good not only at spotting probable Will the :;'-::
fulll'. 2na a"- ..-
mistranslations in the draft but also at avoiding the introduction of mistrans-
in the sen.t :
lations while correcting. You may at first worry, while making a change, that
signpost.. [.::
you have departed from the meaning of the source. However if you regularly
obvious cr. : ;
check the source to avoid this, and keep track of your findings, in all likelihood
tences: e i:- -
you will discover after a while that almost all your changes reflect the source.
manual i.,: :
You will develop a sixth sense about when you really do need to check the
must ensLr- ::
source.
quire a kr:'';,;
Unilingual re-reading may well produce a translation that is not quite as
close in meaning to the source as a comparative re-reading will produce. On the
6. Where u"i[[ i
other hand, it will often read better because the reviser has been attending more
Will it apr,.;: :

to the flow and logic of the translation. Depending on the brief, this may be be circul::=: .:
more important than super-accuracy. Appendix 4 contains a sample unilingual
quietll es r:.:r
re-reading with commentary. with man', ::::
a publicai: n -
Which parameters? quicklr Lr: a;j;

Now what about Questions 2 and 3? How will you decide which parameters to 7. Was the urt
check? Here are some of the factors, again expressed as questions: Generallr .:e'
works. th; :, r
1. Am I familinr with the work of this translator? very tigh:. -.:
Ifyou have looked at the translator's work before, you know the kinds oferror less quallii : ::
they are prone to.
Determirrn: ,;

2. Who will be reading the text? and cornr:.:

'
If the readers are people who are not very familiar with the subject matter, then system b;Si.l -

tailoring the text to this type of reader will be especially important. would telr -,
'-

answer Ia, ::: :

3. For how long will the text be read? questions. i:.

If the text will probably still have readers years hence, then it is worth looking Presenta:r,- r :'-
at all four groups ofparameters, and being fussy about consistency. Ifthe text is that a gir; - i:
ephemeral, there is no point in fussing over physical presentation. questions.:-;:
 ssallurod stuees qceoJdde pelucqdtuoc E qJns 'suorlsenb *.'.-
sr lxel eqt .': *
ueles eql o] Je,4ASuB relncrgud u ol pelrns lseq sr uorsrleJ;o eer8ep ue,tr8 e leql -i1
acueprle pcurdue ,{uu ;o eJuesqe er{l ur 'Jele,trroH 'sJelotuured uorleluaser4 3ur1oo1 qu. !'. :.
puu e8un8uel ro; Suruuers Jo lsrsuoJ plnoqs IoJtuoJ flqenb ueql 'suo4senb
uoles eql q8norql uo os pue 'qcns-pue-qcns sr uorlsenb puocas eql ol Je,lASue
eql puu 'qJns-pu€-r.lJns sr uorlsonb lsrrg eql ol Je,rsus eql Jr leql no,( 11e1 plno^\ 1*-nJ
uals.{s u qJnS 'esn pue Jesn lnoqe suorlsenb ueles eloqu eql uo peseq rue1s,(s ueql':allru -r;
pelecqduroc e dn las ol ]duene plnoJ euo '.(llecqeroeqJ 'osues uoruruoJ puu
ecuauadxe Jo Jellerrt € sr asn ol uorsrleJ go eer8ep ctytceds luqm Surunureleq
'popeeu sr loJluoc f11enb ssel Joxe.Jo SPul].'' :r-
u€ql JeqluJ a.tow ueLIT'.(11crnb f;e,t >po,Lr 01 peq Jol?lsuer eql pue 'lq8r1 .{.re,r.
sr eurlpuap eqt;r 'e{eur 01 ,{1e>1t1 st euo selulsru oJoru oql 's{Jo,tr
euo JOlsuJ er{I
"(ltuanbasuo3
'{Jo.r\ f1p;euag : tl. -
Jo peeds o1 peluleJ .{1eue.tur sr ,(lrTenb '8ut1eeds
;futnq D w patDlsuDrt txat aqt sDful'l o1 s:aleruul: ;:
'cle ',(1n;erec ro fpprnb
peeJ oq 11r,Lr 'drqs.repeal Jo puDI uregeo B e^Bq grzn edfl ue,,lr8 u yo uo4ecqqnd e
:e^oq€ pelsrT sJoqlo eql sessedurocue leql JotJBJ B sl sHI isuorlJ€Jlsrp,(ueur qlr.a,r
lueuruorrluo ,{snq e ur lxal eql Surllnsuoc eq .{eql Illl.r Jo 'puer .{aql se .,(llarnb len8urpun;1j--i
Surllrs aq srepuar eql IIL41;peqsqqnd Suraq ueql reql€J esnoq-ur patelnJJrJ eq aq ,,{eru siL'- ,-:
tl 11116 ie8eu8rs ug ie8edqe.lt u u6 iuoder lunuue uV alooq e ut readdu 1l IIL4 eroru Surpu:--.
ipoat
aq txat aql n|$ araqA '9 eql uo':,'l-:,,-:
se altnb raL :: -
'suorlcos Surpecerd aqt 3o e8pe1,rl,ou1 e errnb
-eJ lou seop puu 'u^\o slr uo elqepuulsJopun sr uorlses r{3Be l?qt eJnsue lsnlu
aql {leq-' ,- - :;;
no.{ ueqt '(qslu$ ot uuls ruoq peor oq tou III,\\ tl 'e'I) uortutlnsuoc JoJ lenuuru 'ACJnOS eU: il;L-:
e sr lxal a4 g 'Qcage-pue-esnso ou sr eJeql eJeq,tr .oJoJeJoql, Jo esn e :seoual
pooqrl:jl' '-r -
-ues elrssecJns olu uooluoq uorlJrpeJluoJ e) Surpuer lsrg 4crnb e uo snorlqo
.{pelnia: n:", ,:;
eq lou furu leql suolqoJd 1ect3o1 ,{q paqrnlstp eq il1,!\ srepuer InJoJeJ 'slsodu8rs
luqt'a8ul;:::.
IeJnlJn-tls go ,(1ue1d pu€ 'suorlrouuoc acuatues-re1ur poo8 8ur,r.eq 3o esues eql ur
-su?JlsItul-:-:
elqupuer ,(tq8tq sr lxet eqt Jr rarsee eq 1l,Lr Sunuurr>ls apeor-eJ pue 'f1nJ
'(lqrssod elqeqo:i :u:-::'
-eruc ,{,ren pueJ rueql Jo eruos IIr,r Jo ',(qcrnb 1r q8norql tuDIS sJepeeJ aql IIL N
srql uI p:rr;.;:
ipnat aq $al aqt n!/|t ntoH '9
oq,tr sturdt::;,:
'pe.(eluoc -sud e ss: u: -'t
.{llcerroc ueeq e^uq ssepr eql su 3uo1 su 'srurel lq8tr eql , Aou>I IILu JepeeJ eql
-JI3s Jaqi-:'- j--
i,(3o1ounu;e] Iceqo o1 ,{;ussecau eq lou .(eru il ueql 'plelJ luql uI tuounJop Jeql
-.rn; u Surlrur JoJ uorlsruJoJur Jo acJnos u s€ 1I asn ilL4A oq,4l 'uos-red e13uls e go lue,\\ III r! i: -' ", ;:'
ja - "::
Surlsrsuoc drqsrapear E e,\uq ilr,rl uorlelsueJl oql JI 'uollelueseJd pup a8enSuel IUJe,\aS -
e,re noi-Il :-i-r*
ueql lueuodrur eJoru eJe lueluoJ pue JoJSUeJJ ueql 'lxel eql Jo tuoluoc aql
'aiesser- ;:- -
uo .,{lerque ;o ,(1ued pesuq suorsrJep e{Eru ol Suto8 aJB sJepEoJ oql Jo etuos JI
aq tt7,14.2 -ordar etr;:::l ,
ipDar $at aql ltu
srotDlsuDrJ to{ 3ur11pg puo Sutsrt ay dossolS '.i1'';' ';
It I
118 Brian Mossctp Revising c,:; E

Some consequences of less-than-full revision there is the pr

There is a ry:.
Levels of risk time to lo,oh:
to have tt,l:;
letter of a :e:
Obviously, any quality control system which allows for less than full revision
Perhaps it ,;
contains a risk of letting errors pass uncorrected. Your system may assume that ':'.
What is t},.
ifthere are no effors on pages 1,5, 10, 15 and20, then there are no errors else-
'I've been .r:
where. Of course, this is just a probability; in reality, there could be a serious
pay if I _ius: ie,i
error. The translator' s attention may have lapsed on page 1 3, with the result that
I'11 look lor ti-
a whole paragraph was omitted. Furthermore, this can happen to anyone: even
If vou ,it- s;
an experienced translator working on an easy text of a familiar type can make
chanics. th;n i
such mistakes. To err is human.
done br a c,:'r
It is true that if the translator is experienced and working under the best
yours. \-l; ."
possible conditions, the likelihood of error is reduced. But ultimately, the only
one of: -\;;ur,
way to be sure that the whole of a translation is good is to give it a full compara-
or Idiom.
tive re-reading. Unilingual re-reading carries the risk that you will not find
omissions and mistranslations. The text may read smoothly even though a sen-
tence or paragraph has been omitted, and it may make perfect sense - but not be The relafi
at all what the source-text author intended.
There is no way of getting around this problem once an organization decides This chap:;: i
that quality control need not take the form of a full comparative re-reading. The tion job cet:-
organization has to define an acceptable level of risk. This may be done on that goes bci:
economic grounds: are clients coming back or going elsewhere? Or it may be as being ;,-'r;,
done on professional grounds: what will the impact of an error be on the trans- target langu,:
lation's user? The worse the potential impact, the higher the degree of quality unidiomrt:: :,
vary nol _iljii "*
control you should apply. An error in a document that will be used as evidence
in court is more likely to have negative consequences than an effor in the min- tion in rihr;:-
utes of a routine meeting. An error in a document that will be used by many
histon rrh;l
been impr::-":
people over a long period of time is more likely to have negative consequences
than a document used only once by a single person.
The sil:."
Generally speaking, unilingual re-reading can be justified as a time-saver
whether c:; -

tion. thinrt ''

unless the longer comparative procedure is dictated by a combination of serious -li
paran-retero
consequences and a greater likelihood of mistranslation or omission being pre-
French- ;r:: ir
sent (the text was a difficult one, the translator's ability is unknown, the text
relaxed r,-,::-,-
was translated very quickly).
gua-ue is r;;:
Some translating services explicitly offer two or three different levels of
French-sie .r-
quality. They explain to clients that service will be faster and cheaper with the
say it hr-. :.ct
lower levels, but that there is a greater risk of error.
chan-eing :r -'
partial revision In Qulbe;.
Types of error sought during
what. re" i.. - r:
In addition to the problem of errors subsisting in passages that are not checked, with the c-i-:.
srelceqen} teq^\ Jo e8etuecred a8nq u L{Jns osnuJeq qcuerd;o ,Qqenb eql qlI^A
pourecuoJ lsotueJoJ pue IsJIJ ueeq flpuorllp€I seq ceqen| ut uotst,r'al '1eq,u
-eruos ,{;gdrurs oI '{Jo^\ le JolJeJ leuolllppu uu sI eJeql 'JaAa,4Aoq 'ceqen} u1
'lerluengur eJotu JeAe eruocaq sluJou leJnllno 'S'O sB Sut8ueqc
,^Aou sr srql q8noqt '(re,r,o pessn; ,{le,trssesqo puu ,(le.ttssecxo ueaq seq lt ,{es
oql qll.\\ ::J:: '':
plno,l.r. auros);1es1r roJ
erou penp^ ueeq seq e8en8uel 'plro,l.r Suqueds-qcue-rg
eql uI 'Jleslr ur luul.rodur Surqleruos lou 'pue ue ol sueelu e se uees st e8en8 Jo sla.\al lij:-:--
-uEI eJeq,r '3utlu,r,r .{;ure1t1-uou ut qceotddu (,(ddo1s ,(us p1no,u, euros) pexule-t
eroru e peldeccu 3uo1 e,r.eq em 'qsq8ug uI 'splro,{\ Suqeeds-qsr13ug pue -qcuard
lxel eql'u!"',-'-t--
-e-rd Surpc ..-.:i'-
aql ur e8en8uul Jailetu e f1lred sl slqJ 'sreleruered
pJe,4Aol sepnllnr? tueJeJJIp Jo
SnOIIOS lLr U', :r:-.
e8un8uel eql .+o ecueuodtut aq] ol setuoJ 1I ueq,{ lueJoJJIp ere s8urql 'uot}
JEABS-3IUI] ; :1 ::
-cerrp elrsoddo eqt uI Jo tlcuoJd o1 qsrlSug urorS SutlulsueJ] sI euo Jeqteq,.tA
luuilodrur sr {ce;nccy elq,l.r leql ut Sutlsarelul sI EpEuuJ ul uonuruIs oqJ
'e8en8uel 1e3-r4 eql uI lxel uolllJlvr ,{11n;uneeq e elBeJO ol st luul;odutr ueeq secuanba.u: : ; i:
,{ueu .iqF;':: r;
s€q lBq,4A iluelodtut ,{lprcedse potuoep ueeq tou suq ,{cernccy ueq,l ,{rolstq
-urur eqt u. r ;
ur seurrl ueeq e^eq ereql 'alduuxe Jod 'auop Suraq sI uollelsueJl qcq,tl. uI uoll
eJUepl.\e !l ll:-
-Enlrs lr?crJolsrq-luroos leraue8 eql qlI. A tnq lxel ;elnctged eql qllt.r lsnl lou f;u,r
,{uu aseql;o ecuegodrul enlleleJ eql ',4AoN 'e8en8uel lssxoJul Jo clleruolplun '(11enb 1o
a:-::-
-susJl eqt ua :': :
Io pue uorlelsuuJlsnx Jo uolleultulTe eq1 ',(le.tqe8au 1l lnd ol ;g 'e8un8uel te8ml
eql ur Surlun pooS pue JeJSueJl oleJncJ€ :s8urql o,ltl qlIA\ pouJocuoJ Suteq su eq ,,(eru tr { .;-;
'pueq te lxel Jelncluud eqt puo'(eq
seoS leql uo euop :; ",. ;
3o lqSnoql '(11uuor1rpe4 sr uoISIAed
JoloeJ e sr aJeql Je^e,^AoH 'uorsIAOJ Jo ee;8ep eleudo:dde eq1 eulruJelep qol uou
eql'3utpr;:-;: ;
qlL^A pouJeJuoc ueeq seq.reldeqc srq; SOpIJap uO.lr r ,-- ,
-ulsuuJl;e1ncq;ud u Jo seJnlueJ eW
^\oq
eq lou lnq - :: -:"!
a8un8uul puu JaJsuB{ Jo aJuepodurl aAI}BIar aql
-ues e q.inc -: -:
puIJ lou l:l'r - '
'uorpl Jo
-e.reduro: l'i; , -'
a8en8uel-qng '8ur,ro1ru1 'sseuqloours 'cr3o1 'ssauelelduro3 ',(cernccy :Jo euo
,{1uo aqt'i1;-,: -
lsuel le sopnlcur IoJluoc flrTenb eqt 3r ,(po pertnber eJ€ sesllJes rnol 'srno,{
lsaq eql r:: *: :
ueql a,rrsuedxo ssol qcnu sI elull esoq,^A 'rapee;;oord;o roltpe.{doc e ,(q euop
eq uuo luql {Jo,ra sl sHJ ',.,(ed .rno,( Suturue, \ou K1e11ut1ep eru no,{ ueql 'sJluutlJ
eleUl uer a;'.- -,
-3W puu uorlulueseJd ur sJorle ro3 '(1uo Sutqc;ues erurl;no,{ pueds op no,(;1
UoAO iOUtr "i -; - - -
'.tods ol ,(sua eru ]uq1 s8urql JoJ >lool il.I
leqlllnsal:J. r- '
os 'elqupe^e erurl Jo lol € lou s.oJoqt tng 'sl tt .,(e,u eqt txel eql e^uel lsni 1;t .{ed
snorJasE;q:--:
,{u Sururue }ou tu,I 'etuos puIJ lsntu I os 'se>lulsru pulJ ol peu8rsse ueaq e^,L
-esl3slorJ:--:;i
:3ur1urqt sr euo ,(lsnorcsuoJun sduq;e4 islqt pulqeq ,{3o1oqc,(sd aql sI lEqI&
'ecuelues 1eq}euns:: ''r:
luql ur uoIlBISueJlsIu eql eJllou ol Jelloq ueeq e,\eq plnol\ 1r sduq-re4
UOISL\aJ IIn: J:-
isrql se,r puIJ u lueuodut moq lsnl 1ng lpor"red eql pue e3uelues u Jo Jellel
lsBI eql uee,l.rleq eceds e Ual JolelsueJt eql eJoq,u esuJ Jeqloue punoJ e^uq ol
3ur.{;sl1es ,roH 'sJoJJe lods-o} .{sue 'lutcgredns fle.ltleleJ JoJ 3uqoo1 ol etull
s.euo ololep 01 'uoISIAoJ IInJ ueql ssel Surop ueq,tr 'uorleldruel lue:8 e sI aJeqJ
'pe>IJaqJ arD lerql se8ussed ur punoJ sJoJre Jo ed,(1 eqt ;o rualqord eql sI eJol{l
s.t o tDl suo.tJ .t o{ 3 uulp E puo 3 uts may dosso4- iit':'t:
6TI
120 Brian Mossop

read has been translation rather than original French, and also because the writ-
ing of Francophones (including junior translators) has been laden with 12. Reri
Anglicisms to an extent unknown in Europe. Defence of the quality of French
has therefore been the central concern of revisers with all texts, not just the Almost all ,h-i
more important ones. should look f,
The situation in English-speaking Canada is completely different: only a need to lulu-rn
very small percentage of the things people read are translations, and (with the obvious. ,,, or;i l
exception of the English minority in Quebec) people's speech and writing are to knou tha.t i
not much influenced by French. So revisers of French-to-English translations ers. The que>i
need only be concerned with eliminating those Gallicisms that arise from the level of lare*E-li
influence of the source text. They can therefore focus on Accuracy, on Lan- that you urln I
guage, or on both, as the brief dictates. that vou think
principles r.o b

Discussion and exercises

Order of r
1. If you currently use varying degrees of revision, try to formulate the factors
you consider. Let's begin n
sume thal. if l''
2. Ignoring problems. Take a draft translation and identify one or two param- who the u:ers
eters to check. As you revise, make a special attempt to avoid stopping and and you hlr r
correcting when you spot problems regarding other parameters. have giren e
have sele;ml
3. The relative importance of the Language parameters has an interesting questions:
consequence for the organization of revision work. With any text where
language quality does not need to be checked (or can be checked by a proof- o Am I gor,
reader), revision for Accuracy could be done by a native speaker of the o Wiuch of
source language. That is, if an organization has translators working in both am I guni
the A-B and B-A direction, a translation done in the A-B unit can be re- CLP i para
vised for Accuracy in the B-A unit, by a reviser who will probably be a
native speaker of A. However this approach is rarely used by translating Suppose 1 '
organizations. Do you think it should be tried out, or do you see problems Completenest
with it? make a comp,[
The question:
More specii,;i
Further reading
r Shall I che
Quality in relation to purpose: Samuelsson-Brown (1996) and (1998: ch. 9). tive che;k
o IfImte,
CLP checi
o If I m;lkr
read the e
graph L-id Ii
160 Brian Mossop Revising and F&r

Appendix 4. Sample Unilingual Re-reading

In a static object like a book, it's impractical to illustrate the actual process of qmlt m
revision; what can be shown is a sample outcome. The following illustration a5lliVtof,r*
concerns unilingual re-reading, since a sample comparative re-reading would
require reference to a text in a language which many readers of this book would eceectfgm
not know. A draft translation with a fairly large number of defects is used so
that several problems can be illustrated in a short space. thebaniemai
The example is a segment of a draft English translation of a French text that
introduces a series of articles on environmental ethics. It was prepared by a However, reb
student trainee on a work placement. The brief was to prepare a translation for
publication in a ministry magazine that would be distributed mainly within the a closed ffi
public service. One of the magazine's functions is to make employees aware of
the ministry's outlook on various issues; the editor of the magazine has there-
each ofterttrw
fore emphasized, in the brief, the importance of readability. In order to focus on
language and style matters, the reviser began with a unilingual re-reading, that
distanced qrd
is, checked the translation without looking at the source text unless a passage
seemed odd.
supportfr ird
The revisions can be seen in handwriting. The number next to each revision
refers to the commentary which follows the passage.

Commentart
.. .l would like at this time to share with you a few thoughts on the future of
1. Deletion of 'a
enviro4mental management. ter what the su

HS z(flr
Optimisb in eur societyrsucceeded in ldeall;ing lhe promis
with other smi
in fact this is n
,l WnUtr;
l*lheyear2000.'t(laspirations, both individualand societal,6suld
an&'
be realized-
2. The perfectir-e
is present reletl
languages- It u
a't?
technological innovationrl, economic groudh, social equality ard environmental glance at the $o
ri'F) 'i&t;t *"'a, dfl,rt#
objective@
the optimiss <tr
q uality.\ut flected in 'sre
t #,i
ra\*:t w 3. The style shec
*e*eet the'expectations of the past
ings are possiH
ffi
inequalities and dissidbfice glnong Fopleir are omnipresenl, world population
4. The draft is vcr
have been left
. **d*&,AkAW
ar'.1,.l*ffu*tevs *ha*& eqeil . .*f..f ....1
growth seems insruasiirg+y rrnharaHq and Fallut*n is increasinglt'dbttrrbing level of writing
e

5. Without this ir
allnli"" ffi ing, the authrr
b\6+iospfir;re.
ll sV) '1(old eoueluesJelur Jo ruolqoJd V ',sls[urldo, egl Jo Joqlnu eql '8ur
-)Eads sr oq,4A rceIO {lelurperuur lou sr lr seseJqd f;olcnpo.r1ul sql lnoqlrl& 'S
'pe^ouoJ eq pFoqs ,(lrsoqrerr eql Jo aluos 1nq ',{1qenb 3urlrr,tr Jo IoAeI
lseq8rq or{t e^Bq ol dresseceu lou sr U ?elrq aql uelrg 'sr se Uel ueeq a^€q
F*Hf
uopqndod g,n
plnoJ UuJp aqt '.{po uorl€ruJoJur JoJ uorlulsuer1 u uI 'esoqJe^ sr IJBJp oql ',
'elqrssod ere s8ur
'rerra ua4q
-11eds qtoq eJer{.r\ spJolr 11e ur esr- u?ql JeqluJ ezr- selrnber laeqs e1f1s eq; 'E
'.pepeac3ns, ur pel3eu
e'{
eFlB€q€+rrF
-eJ sr srql puu 'uorlrsoddo auros oruocJe.,t,o 01 el,uq louJ ul prp slslurldo eql {S.'r*
leql slseSSns Surprorrr aql :uorleldruol oql solorual lxol ecJnos eql lu ecue13 |elueuiuo.?u.r}
u lnq'.pezquapr eABq, ol esrleJ JequnJ ol Surldruel eq plno^\ 11 'se8en8uel
ecuuruol{ {uor; 3ur1e1suur1 ur e{€ls1ur uoruruor B sr srql 'eJuBAaleJ lueserd sr -pa4p3r aq PF
ereql'(rue1c se{uru 1xe1 luenbasqns eq1 se) esrcJeq pepaeu sr a,tqce;red aq; 'Z e*r
'osuc aql tou sr sql lc?J ul ceffiq|asoC-€qFr
^2
!+)
1nq 'uorssruro Jourtu € elueJc plnolr ,rno, Surluuru{e 'serlertos Jeqlo qlrl\
,fiercos .Jno, lsuJluoJ ol uo lue,{\ e8essud oql JI 's.{es lxel eJJnos eql leqr'r Jol
-leru qcnru l.useop ll leql aloN'eSueqc r(msseceuun uu sr .Jno, Jo uoqeleq 'I
lo a.rwtel
,truluaururo3
uorsr^eJ qJEe ol
'surro, sll ile ul e$ pddns e8essud s ssepm
1uq1 'Sutpear-al
ol qqJB3 orll :Joleululouep uoutruoJ auo rno uro4 $o lsslno p€ouBlqp
uo sncoJ ol tep.D
^illlqe '\l# -eJeql seq aurzef
B aq e^^ uoflecunuluroc lo su'aur iueut eql q6norql reqp qcae
Jo eJBA\e saaiol&
_dpit"-arc eql ulqll$ iprm
ol Jsrolc urvr?Jp a 3q si sE us^o '{lerporl '$€cln3p€ilulil qu$ uels,(s p6sop a
JOJ uollElsuen q
e ,{q peredard snr
q Fuqd elt$ l?r4 pE eql uoqenbe q* u, popal6au a^eq ar'^ la^ffvroH
"Onff-, lBql 1x31 qJueq f,
dp
'aoed apuer; e 1u salFopuqcal t1ffiffi pelerada$ qclltmsroueq eqt
os pesn sI slJsJie
rlnoFu€{ei4 e^eq efi @'qslJpur &alflrrrr@{o€c€es plno^{ Iooq sr-q}
/rsq\l,r'1f,
(Yjt .&{\ ..{;l
t:j}" plno,tr Sutpear-er
L1*/
ol pue JeqlouE auo qU^ elBqunuuoc o1 'uolleurqu! qpsql o1rQ6u uoqursngt 6ur-rn
,*egJapg
nn@ &J*d r{*2 .1o sseoord prnr
snopuauo4 E pglEas' e Bq an $spBcap mel lsE aql gqrttP 'r{pailupV
"'?1\'J
ii-i w
,#j)
srololsuD"tJ to{ Sut4tpg puo Sutsu.ay dossoy41 uoug
t9I
r62 Brian Mossop Revising and Ed

happens, there is no such phrase in the French, but the grammatical struc- gumentinF
ture makes it clear that it is the optimists who are speaking.) tive fea!.ner
6. Sequence of tense problem here: the present is required to match the per- picture has
fective in the previous sentence. This type of change is easily missed if you tence of tb;
are focusing entirely on the current sentence. takes us bad
7. The aspiration would be to innovation in general, not specific innovations. if i1 searaiil
8. This is the key point of the paragraph, so it merits a sentence of its own delete ir fu
(regardless of what the source text has). tural sigla}
9. 'Is far from being able to' is unidiomatic. Revision to 'the reality of the negatives. T
present cannot meet' seems close enough to the same meaning. This fails to paragraph in
capture 'far from' but that is a minor omission of no importance. single paragl
10. 'Reality...cannot meet' is obscure. One possibility would have been for the a paragraph I
reviser to guess that this sentence simply contradicts the view of the opti- having to uu
mists as stated in the previous sentence; this could be expressed by 18. Changing'd
'objectively speaking, the present cannot meet the expectations of the past'. 19. Changing'd
In fact, the reviser looked at the source text and decided on something more fit better r.it
elaborate, which unfortunately required structural change of the sentence. change. giva
However, looking at the source text was a good idea because the point be- 20. 'Widen the s
ing made in it is not that the present cannot meet the expectations of the (scope of a I
past, but that it is not meeting them. Whereas 'cannot' suggests that if we worthwhile c
made changes we might be able to meet the expectations, 'is' better suits 21. 'Thus':apoi
the argument which will be made, namely that there is something wrong the source trs
with the expectations themselves. (A literal translation of the source text: lish to sent€n
'in all objectivity, the balance-sheet one can draw from the present is far 22. 'Amongst od
from meeting these expectations of the past'.) mentioned d(
I 1. Changing 'the' to 'these' creates a better link to the previous sentence, mak- common:6c
ing it clear that the expectations are for innovation, growth and so on. It 23. Changing 'u
doesn't matter whether the source text has such a linking word. pointless. A 1
12. 'Fragile economy' is an odd word combination to express what the reviser accuracv of d
correctly guessed is just a clich6 in the source text. 24.'V,l}:'atequaria
13. The reviser missed 'dissidence'. Once again, a more ordinary word combi- buzzword- n'l
nation (perhaps 'conflicts among peoples') is required, because the thought 25. 'Sources': far
is a commonplace. in the draft- S
14. Perhaps after reading 'increasingly' in the next phrase, the reviser decided 26. The reviser s
to eliminate the repetition. Is this a needed improvement? One could argue translator pe
that the repetition of the word is effective. If in doubt, don't make a change. tence. The rer
15. 'Unbearable' does not go with 'population growth'. immediate o
16. The reviser has placed the key word 'pollution' in focus position, but the [and...]' is a p
effort required does not seem worth it. The draft was readable. And un- 27. This writer rr
fortunately, after moving 'pollution', the reviser forgot to put 'by' in front support life a
of it. is the conre
17. Is 'admittedly' really the right word to introduce this paragraph? The ar- source text d
.(irood se lsnl sr 'sr tl Je^eleq,4A 'lq8noqt eql :d1eq lou soop txel eJrnos -Ju eqJ lqdei5l:r
aqt le {ool y ;,,{uorr, eql;o slcedse oA\1 eql uoa,4Aleq uollJeuuoc oql sI
tuq.r :tuelqord ra38rq u sr eJeql lng a(Joluultuouep uotutuoo, e oJII uoddns luo4 ui ..iq. l:J :
o1 ,(1r1rqe s.WJeg s1 'sroqdeleu leJrl€tueqleru o{ll ol sruees JeIIJ/v\ IILIL'LZ -un puv '3lqE:?;.
'euo poo8 ,{1tce;.led u sr ,["'pue] oql lnq 'uotlls.,,J
"'paJustsrp e^€q 'p3]€eJc a,\Bq e,4A, eJnlJnJls 3ql JJUIS 'lxJluoJ slulpetulul
Jqt ot uortueue-Jelo q8no.rqt lI pessltu e,Leq .(1tsea plnoJ JesI^eJ eqJ 'eJuel 'eSuuqc p 3TEui :-
-uas aqt Sur8uurre-er ellq^\ uego ool eouo (e1 e1e1ep eql pesse;d JolelsueJl en8;e plno::ug .
aqt uaq,\\ pereeddusry eluq.{uru lI',e^\, Surssnu eqt pellods JesIAaJ eql'92 peplsep Jasl.\:i ;,t
'1r qJtec tou plno,{\
lceqclledg 'UBrp egl ur
p:o,tr 3uor,nn € ur pellnsoJ uolluellu ut esdel JeIJq e ro 8urdfl lsuJ :.seo;nos, 'SZ lq8noqt aqr p!l:E:tr
'pe^oueJ eq plnoqs qJIq,4A 'pJo1v\zznq -Iquo3 pJo \\ 'rll:
.,{tdure uE sr srql 'peuorlueru ueeq seq eltT-uor1unbe Surqlop iuoqunbe wrIM'VZ
'uorlulsueJl eql .;o fce:ncce JesIAeJ eql tErL{ Y. !i
aql e,to;dur lou seop ll luql s{uJIJuoJ lxel eJJnos eqt le acue18 y 'ssellutod 'nr-.
F-' '-
sr ,u,4dop >l€aJq"'uees eleq e,44, ol ."'ul\op ue{oJq el€q e,lt, 3ur3ueq3'97 1I 'uo os puE rirr''.
'llcrldrur ge1 ,(lyensn sI slsll 3o f1t,r.4snuqxe-uou eql :uotuuroo -1eur'ecualues sn,
ssel gJntu sr srql 'qsr13ug q 'lsll e^Ilsnuqxo uE elnlllsuoc lou op pauol1uetu
Sureq suelr eql t€qt sar;rcads fltuenbe;; qcuard :.s8urql;eqlo ls8uouy,'ZZ JUJ sr luesaJd en
'p:o,l Burlurl ou qlr^\ socuoluos ol qsll :lxel arJnos :, Jr--t
-3ug ueql ,{1puerr; ssel gJnru sI qcuaJd 'pro,a,r Sutlutl e s€q lxel eJJnos eq} Suor,Lr Suiqtau-'--':
esneceq,{po gu-rp eql uI lueseJd,(lqeqord'pro,Lr 3ut1ut1 ssellurod E :.snql 'lZ SIInS J311aq .:rl. '!:
'aBueqc elrq,4Aquo,^a e,^A Jr teqt srsaii:.
y '(lelJeu prcraruruoc) ,{cuepunper B sululuoc pue (4levuu e 3o edocs) eql 3o suonet:il;
Jrl€{uorprun ,{pq311s 'esoqJe^ sI .sle>lJulu IeIJJeuIuoc;o edocs eql uepli.1, '02 -eq lurod eql ::r'ii
'Jelrq eqt ue.rr8'e8ueqc 'eJuelues aql I.. ::
.(russeceu e Sureq Jo eurlJepJoq oql uo s,ll ',uoIluIuJoJuI, qlL4A Jelloq llJ e;oru 3urqleu..: t
qcrq, A spJol\ seonpoJlur .ssecord o1 ,(lrcedec, ol .elpuuq o1 ,(1111qu, 3ur3uuq3 '61 ',1sed eqt;o sur-rrr
'lueue.tordrur,,{russeceuun uu sI .JeAo, ol .3uunp, Sur8ueq3 '91 ,(q pessardr: ;q
'pJo,r .lnq, e esn ol 3ur.r,eq -r1do eqt Jo \1J:'.
pro^p ol JepJo ur flesrce"rd '1urod sql 1€ uollelsueJl eql uI leerq qder8u;ed u el{l JoJ ueeq e.\iu :
oluoJc ol uepr pooS e ueoq e^el{ plno,4A 1l 'lxol ecJnos eql ur qder8e"red a18urs '3lUtrlir-rj
u ueeq peq ereq u1(oqs lueru8es ellue eqt JI 'peepul 'qsq8ug ur qder8e;ed ot slleJ sqf iu:-;
e go Suruut8eq oql le uotsse;dxa 3ur1ur1 e JoJ peau ou sI sJoql 'se.ttle8eu eq1 go ,{1r1ea: ;n
- Jele,l.t.oq
se,trltsod ise,r.rlu8eu - Jele,lloq - se,trlrsod :sluu8ts 1u;n1
-
-rn-rts IolleJud puu eldruts a^Bq III^\ sqde;8erud o.4At tsrlJ el{l ueqt'U etelep u,^AO Slr JO 3tu:tr:'
e,{\ JI 'pJo.^a e qcns sr .f1pe11lupe, pue 'spJo^\ .1nq, ,(ueu ool surcluoo 1I JI 'suolle^ouul rI-in -1
,4dolloJ ot pJ€q eq wc lxet u Jo luerun8re eq1 'se.t4e8eu eql ot {ceq sn se{et
eouatuos pnql eql'soJnleeJ e,trltsod eql qlIA\ senulluoJ qder8u"tud eqlJo eJuel nor( 3r pessttu .,-r:-i;
-ues puoces eql ellq,tA 'tea.eztto11 'llel\ s€ seJnleeJ entltsod seq e;n1ctd -rad aqt qoletu :t i
eql leqt .8ut11nupe, A\ou sI Jelul\ eql pue 'euecs luoJJnc eql Jo seJnlseJ e^11 i;:
-e3au euros poqrJosep eJuelues snor.,rerd eql leql sduq;ed sI JnoAEJ ur ]uerun8 -cn,4s lecrleuru-m:i
€91 srotDlsuDq nl Suutpg puo Sursttay dossoT4 uot.rg
164 Brian Mossop Revisittg an; E:

expressed in French. There seem to be three ideas: (a) we are now more
Appendk :
closely linked than ever with each other, but (b) we have lost touch with the
one thing we were all previously close to, namely the planet which (c) sup-
The follo* irs -
ports life in all its forms. Should the reviser have intervened to help the
on the meJlr,.
writer? Probably not, since it might take quite a while to rewrite the sen-
meanings are :'.
tence, and anyway these are only opening remarks. Readers will be more
a copious irt::'
interested in the next part of the text (which specifically concerns the min-
terms like i ij--':
istry they work for).
or contradi;t:,q,
Engiish. bui :r-r'
ity controi. 7,,:,,
Words ii i :

adapting
Compc,::r.
tent o: :r :,
from :hl r:
amendin-s. ane:
Rerr oid-:l
authenticitr
Qualit." -:
onlr ia i:: ,
ing anJ ::.;
ma\ oi n::;
brief
The ctrier::';
times c-ll:;
check
(1) Re" r;r
(2) Ide::::-.
clarity
Charac:e ::.
client
The insi:-*:
that ins--:'::
sioner.
comparati\ e r;-l
T1'pe c- -:
S€I]tets'ii -

and orl;o; :
of one ir ::r,:
bilin-su.r ::
content editi:_r
ChecHr: .