NCPA NHAeBook

E.P.I.C.
*
Tools
for
Families
*Educational Tips
*Preparation for College
*Insights for Parenting and Family Management
*Communication Tools
Educational Strategies for Families
Preparation for College
Insights for Parenting and Family Management
Communication Tips and Strategies for Families
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©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

& Camille S. Rodriquez , LLC
Table of Contents
Educational Strategies for Families
Cell Phones, Essays, and Reading Comprehension 6
Five Reasons People Homeschool Their children 8
Five Study Factors that Work 10
Homeschool Roadblocks – Four Traps to Avoid 12
How Homeschooling Afffects Children’s Social Skills 14
Osmosis Truly Works in Education 16
Taking Advantage of Summers – What Separates GREAT Students From 18

Good Students
Understanding the Accelerated Learning Myth 20
Preparation For College
College Planning – Have You Considered A Gap Year? 21
College Readiness – A New Definition and Perspective For Today’s 23

College-Bound Student
Community Colleges – An Option Worth Considering 25
Five Things You Need To Know About Long-Term PSAT, SAT, and ACT 27
Preparation
Money For College – 29

Did You Know Everybody is Entitled to Government Funding For College?

Four Critical Things You Need to Know About Filing the FAFSA
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Four Sources of College Funding in Plain English
Myths About the SAT and ACT – 35

Three Myths Perpetuated About the SAT and ACT You Probably Don’t
Know!
Skipping the Freshman Blues 37
Successful College 501 39
Which One Should I Take – SAT or ACT? 41

Millions of Students Ask This Question Each Year
Insights for Parenting and Family Management
Creating Family Time Through A Modified Picnic 43
The Four Critical Factors of Effective Discipline 45
Goal Setting – Fight the Fear and Get Smart 47
I Breathe, Therefore I Deserve – 49

Ending the Entitlementitis Epidemic
Increasing Self-Esteem to Stop Bullying 51
Learning to Be Everything You’re Not 52
Masterminding – Teamwork at Its Best! 54
Personal Growth and the Lemons to Lemonade Mindset 56
So, What Do You Want? 58
The Top Three Areas to Organize 59
What is the Correct Food For Your Ego? 61
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Communication Tips and Strategies for
Families
Are You Being Herded Into Complacency? 62
Effective or “Real” Communication 63
Parents Just Don’t Understand 65
Stop the Power Struggles with Your Child Today! 67
Three Questions Parents Should Never Ask 69
What Are You Giving Your Attention To? 71
You Need To Earn the Respect of Others – Even From Your Children! 72
About the Contributors 74
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Cell Phones, Essays, and Reading Comprehension
§Camille Rodriquez
Reading comprehension is a factor of several things, but one of the more frequently
overlooked aspects of understanding what we read has to do with our awareness of the
topic. We take on a reading assignment in order to learn more, but we forget to ask
questions about the information, pull in material that we already know on the topic, or
consider alternatives to the author's perspective. However, if we take the time to do
these things, our comprehension of the material will dramatically increase because we
will have considered the points from an informed perspective. Changing the habit of
reading to include these techniques will require some practice, but mindless reading of
material for study is not creating effective learning, so we must begin to read differently
if we want different results.
Awareness with our topic does not mean that we have to know everything on the
subject already. In fact, just the opposite. But, we must be willing to get familiar with the
topic. Any reader who sits down to read an author's perspective or their arguments will
have already lost comprehension ground if they approach the reading begrudgingly.
There must be a desired goal or a level of willingness to give the author time to present
a case.
Once a reader has agreed to give the author the time on any particular topic, then the
reader must be willing to learn. The assignment of any reading for school or work is to
gain information. Gaining information though, is not the same as learning. I can gain a
piece of data and promptly forget it. A better goal for reading is to learn new information
from an author - that involves being able to recall and apply data as necessary to new
and deeper subjects. A reader must be willing to expand their understanding for
comprehension to really take root.
Once the time is given over to the author to make a point, and the reader has agreed to
consider the points, the reader must take a step away from the author's perspective and
ask himself or herself to consider a different perspective. Change the logic on the topic.
Would you get the same perspective?
And finally, each reader must decide for themselves whether or not they actually agree
with the author, or can ascent to the opinions, and why - or why not. This is where real
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understanding and application can begin. Coming to an informed opinion on a topic will
take the reader well beyond basic comprehension and into applied comprehension.
No matter the age of the student, whether in middle school, high school, college, or an
adult learner, these principles can be applied with some practice. Here's an example
from my own family and how we applied this strategy in a very familiar situation. When
my oldest daughter was 13, she asked for a cell phone. We were hesitant and unsure
about her needs for one, so at her suggestion, we allowed her to write a formal essay
on the benefits, costs, long-term needs, and value of having a cell phone at her age.
She turned in to us a full page, hand-written essay. It was grammatically correct,
showed depth of research including fees that we would incur, how she would make that
valuable to us, etc. She also included the benefits for herself, but being the wise 13-
year-old, she focused more on the benefits for us, her readers of the essay.
We then turned the tables on her and asked her to write a full page essay on why we
should not allow her to have a cell phone and we explained that the reasons and details
should be as extensive. She was forced to change her logic and look at the issue from
the perspective of someone else. Suffice it to say that her essay for the reasons against
having an essay required her to engage with the topic, go beyond her own level of
understanding, and learn more. Her essay on the reasons against having a cell phone,
by the way, were better argued, more articulate, and more convincing. So, we got her
the cell phone!
This illustration may not apply to your level of needs, but the principles help to
demonstrate the value of becoming more aware of a topic when you read about it,
giving time to the perspectives involved, changing your logic, and ultimately coming to
an informed opinion - all part of true learning and comprehension for any reading
assignment.
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Five Reasons People Homeschool Their Children
§Camille Rodriquez
Homeschooling trends are changing. New reasons to homeschool are emerging, and
along with them, new faces and families that are influencing the shape of
homeschooling as we know it. If you are a business owner looking to capitalize on
products that will be beneficial and marketable to homeschool families, or just curious
about the motives, you need to understand the depth of reasons that families may
choose to homeschool. There are many, but the top five stand out above the others.
1. The "oldest" reason for homeschooling has been the idea that homeschoolers
are doing what they are doing in order to support and reinforce their religious
convictions or Judeo-Christian worldview. This still remains a primary reason for
motivating some families to homeschool, although it is clearly not the only reason
any longer. But, it is not possible to group the denomination or religious
perspective into any single category any longer. The beliefs and worldviews that
motivate homeschoolers are expanding all the time.
2. Another common reason for homeschooling is when families live the "wanderer"
lifestyle. This can be as a result of many things. For instance, some families have
chosen to homeschool because the primary breadwinner may have a job that
requires frequent relocations. That can be difficult to accommodate from public
school to public school, so families in this situation opt for homeschooling. This is
the case for missionary families, oil-industry families, military families, etc.
3. In many cases, families are led into homeschooling, not by choice, but by
necessity due to health issues or limitations that have made going to a traditional
brick and mortar public or private school impossible. Most traditional schools are
subject to attendance standards set by state or local governments. Therefore, a
student with too many absences will cost the school district a loss in tax
revenues, so they require minimum attendance days. If health issues cause a
student to miss too many days, they are resigned to repeating that grade level by
their district's standards. Homeschooling allows families to work around these
health restrictions and make forward progress academically at the same time.
4. Other families choose homeschooling because they would like to have a private
school type education - small classes, customized curricula, mastery learning,
etc. - but they cannot afford private school tuition. Homeschooling can be done
on a variety of budgets, but in most cases, a diligent, well-planned homeschool
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program can be done much cheaper than a private school, especially when you
also consider the costs of uniforms, travel expenses, sporting event fees,
fundraisers, and other fees that get added into a typical private school education.
5. Another primary reason for homeschooling is in the ability to approach the
curricula like a menu. If a student excels in English, but needs more work in
Algebra, a homeschool student can work above grade level in one subject, such
as English, but at or even below grade level in another area. This allows
homeschooling families to ensure that their children are getting a solid academic
foundation in all subjects by meeting the student where they are and working
forward from there. Many, many homeschool students find that they are in a
variety of "grades" based on the curricula being used, but they are growing in
knowledge, not frustration, because of their choice to homeschool.
Knowing their reasons for homeschooling will help to determine how and where to
interact with homeschoolers around you. If you sell curricula, know their motives. If you
offer athletic memberships, be sure to consider a variety of needs. Thinking about
offering classes in your area or niche? The homeschoolers in your area may need you,
but don't assume - do the research in your area. If you are considering homeschooling
yourself, be sure to understand your motivation. You will need to "hang on to it" when
those around you challenge your methods.
No matter how you interact with homeschooling families, it is safe to say that you can no
longer make any assumptions about their motives until you have gotten to know them
individually. Homeschoolers are an ever-growing component of the educational
marketplace, and knowing their needs will help you to better fit this market as a
conscientious business owner or homeschooler.
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Five Study Factors That Work!
§Camille Rodriquez
The turning from of the seasons brings about many changes - some in the weather,
some in the sports we play, and some in the frenzy with which school students and
teachers across the country find themselves operating. That frenzy is often related to a
realization that there are some final exams looming ahead, and even in the best of
situations, students may feel a need to so some extra studying or reviewing. Ideally they
will have been using effective study methods throughout the course, taking good notes,
organizing their content into systems of learning that work, etc., but often before a big
exam, that frenzy increases anyway. To decrease that frenzied feeling, begin using
these strategies now.
First of all, realize that cramming is never effective. Study consistently, study
methodically, but study! If you have three days before the exam, start now, not on the
last day. If you have three weeks, even better - begin now! Spreading out the
information into smaller pieces will be the most effective study habit you can use.
Secondly, many students find that soothing music in the background actually helps
them to study better. It will keep your mind more at ease and less distracted, increasing
your concentration on the matters at hand. So, consider using music in your study
habits - you can even sing the content of what you are learning while you learn it, which
is another proven memory tool.
Thirdly, don't lie down on your bed or recliner to study. It indicates to your brain that you
are about to rest or sleep, not think and learn. The most effective study position is the
same one in which you worked with the material on a daily basis. That will probably
mean sitting up, sitting on the edge of your chair, or even walking around, but in an
alert, "active" posture that tells your brain to pay attention, not shut down.
Fourth, learn to say no to outside distractions. You set your own schedule, so set a
schedule that will work for you to learn all that you need to learn. Fun things are fun, but
study needs should come first. Schedule your time that way, and then stick to your
schedule.
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And finally, use the "30-5-3" guideline for those extra study sessions. Study the material
for 30 minutes, take a five minute break where you think or do other things, and then get
back to studying with the first 3 minutes devoted to reviewing the last session's reading
and reviewing. This will reinforce and perpetuate your knowledge of the material,
keeping it in short spurts so as not to overwhelm you, and methodically chip away at the
content to be learned.
There are other strategies as well, but these five tips will be highly effective in managing
your time and your subject matter as you begin to wrap up the final weeks in your
semester. Final exams don't have to be intimidating when you have a plan. Apply these
tips now, and feel more confident as you move into those tests in a few weeks!
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Homeschool Roadblocks – Four Traps to Avoid
§Camille Rodriquez
Homeschool families love what they do. They love the freedoms that are afforded to
them. They love the fact that they can suit their homeschool program to fit their values
and objectives, and they love the flexibility to do so on their schedule. However, there
are some common traps that homeschool families need to be on the lookout for in order
to ensure that they meet their goals with integrity, value, and purpose and that their
students have an easy access to post-high school options. Several of these common
traps can easily be avoided with a little attention to scheduling and accountability.
1 - Often, homeschool families try too hard to make themselves look like the local public
school. They tend to run themselves from activity to activity and co-op class to co-op
class in an attempt to fit the model that other schools have. Another similar symptom of
this is in thinking that every subject must be taught from a text book with worksheets
and posters to create. The trap of trying to look like a public school at home prevents
many homeschoolers from utilizing fantastic resources and options that are available to
them in on-line courses, block schedules, and modified daily routines. In the long run,
trying to look like the local public school will dilute the freedoms that homeschoolers
have just by virtue of choosing to homeschool.
2 - One of the biggest mistakes that homeschoolers make is to spend too much time on
non-core subject activities with the hopes that their students will be noticed by
competitive college recruiters for such teams and organizations as Debate, Football,
Drama, or Choir and Band. When this happens, homeschool students are left with core
academic deficiencies. Students become compromised in their academic foundations
and find themselves unprepared for college work. Be sure that these activities are not
the foundation of your homeschool program. Academics must take priority!
3 - Not taking standardized tests seriously is another mistake that homeschool families
make in their homeschool programs. While some colleges will accept simple portfolios
as proof of the work that a student does while in a homeschool setting, nothing speaks
louder to the college admissions officers than a high score on an SAT or ACT test.
Taking the time to prepare for these tests appropriately, and earning high scores while
enjoying the flexibilities of homeschooling, will open many more doors to a homeschool
student than not doing so.
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4 - And finally, homeschool families often fall into the trap of thinking that they do not
need to be accountable to anyone when they plan and implement their homeschool
program. While each family should have the freedom to design their program to fit their
unique goals and objectives, assuming that they are meeting the state standards, it is
still always a good idea to have an accountability partner for your students. This can
take several forms, some of which might be an outside adult who works with your
student in a particular subject area and provides an objective assessment of their skills,
or a homeschool coach who you check in with on a regular basis. Get feedback from
others on how your homeschool program is doing and on any areas that need
strengthening for your student's sake.
As a homeschool parent, it is easy to get lost in the freedoms that you have in doing
school in this way. However, with freedom comes responsibility. Responsibility to your
program, your children, and to the community around you in which homeschooling is
still scrutinized. It is important to be a homeschool family with purpose, accountability,
and planning. These core values will allow you to equip students with solid academic
skills, and therefore train future leaders. No one intends to "water down" the academic
foundation when they begin to homeschool, and statistics will show that most do not,
but on occasion, it is good to review your homeschool program to ensure that you are
not falling into any of these traps.
A successful homeschooling program is not just about the options for college that your
student will have, but avoiding the pitfalls that drag your student's prospects down. You
can give your student many more choices when it comes time to leave for college if you
provide a thriving environment for your homeschool. With improved choices come
increased opportunities for their future, something that should be a part of a successful
homeschool program.
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How Homeschooling Affects Children’s Social Skills
§Camille Rodriquez
Hands down, one of the biggest concerns about homeschooling is the fear that
homeschool students are not learning effective social skills or are not being properly
socialized. The presumption is, the best way to socialize your child is to do it through
large gatherings of same-age peers, and without having those regular interactions,
children will somehow be missing out on important learning experiences. Where does
the truth meet the presumption, and how does homeschooling really impact a child's
social skills?
The answer lies in defining "social skills." If what you are seeking is an environment
where self-awareness and self-acceptance is determined for your child by an outside
set of teenagers, or if you are seeking the ability for your child to function well in an
artificial environment of only similar-aged people, then it's true. Homeschooling may
have a hindering effect on your child. Public and private schools can have many
advantages, but social skills development is not necessarily one of them unless you
seek the limited situations described above.
True social skills are the abilities to develop habits and tools that allow individuals to
function in the society around them for the betterment of the community and in
meaningful relationships with others. That definition has nothing to do with the confines
of a school setting. Rather, that definition is all about the character of the individual as
they live out their daily life, and as homeschoolers will tell you, character training
happens all day, every day in a homeschool environment. Thus, one of the primary
sources of true social skill development is the family itself.
Social skills are developed as students interact with others of a variety of ages in their
own families, and as they witness what goes on in their communities and where the
needs are around them. Homeschoolers see daily life every day as they work in a place
that has to also function as a home. Homeschoolers must get their work done while the
phone rings or the laundry gets done or the business is run, and most homeschoolers
also find themselves out in their communities during the week, too. This lets them
interact more regularly with business owners and civic leaders, so their understanding
of social responsibility can be more acutely in tune.
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But these are not the only areas where social skills are developed. Other sources of
influence include mentors with whom homeschoolers might work, or clubs that they
belong to. It can include churches or church groups that they participate in, scouting
organizations, or sports teams.
If the goal is to prepare students to become adults who function in a family, a

community, and in a career filled with people of many ages and skills, what better place
to develop those abilities than in the homeschool. All of these aspects of daily
interaction are afforded to the homeschooler. Positive social skills can be taught
responsibly by homeschoolers, and so like anything else, if done well, the affects of
homeschooling on social skills development can be hugely successful and rewarding.
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Osmosis Truly Works in Education
§Camille Rodriquez
Students are funny. Sometimes they grasp a concept but don't quite get it right. It
happens that way all the time. Take for example the scientific term, osmosis. Sometime
early in school, most students learn this word and take ownership of it, but the problem
is that they learn it incorrectly. How many times have you joked yourself, or heard one
of your children say something along the lines of, "I'm just going to put it under my pillow
and learn by osmosis," when they have a test or quiz coming up? We laugh about it,
and realize that of course we don't learn anything by sleeping on the material, but we've
missed the point of osmosis, haven't we. In a true sense, osmosis does work in
learning, but it's all about the movement!
You see, when students use osmosis this way, they are implying a lack of activity. They
are implying that it will "just happen" by having the information near to their brains. They
suggest that they don't have to "do" anything. Of course they know that it won't really
work, and they're just being silly, but they're focusing on inactivity, when in fact, osmosis
is all about the activity. In its most pure form, osmosis means movement across a
barrier. That is going to take some action. Movement is physical and active. It will
require some effort or a change in position. In order for osmosis to take place, from a
scientific perspective, something has to change and move from one side to another,
across a barrier.
So, too, we find that to be true in education. Whether you are a student or a teacher,
learning in a homeschool, a private school, or a public school, you must change your
relationship to the information you are learning by taking it in, processing it, and doing
the work involved to master its content. So often our students fail to learn because they
fail to "do." Learning will require some effort - more effort for some students in some
subject areas than others, but nonetheless, effort.
Does your student know how to study? How to learn? How to manipulate material into
learning systems that can be used for making the information meaningful, applicable,
and practical? Education must be about giving our students tools to use that will work
on any subject if we truly want to teach and educate our students. It is not always about
the content. Take the meaning of "osmosis" for example. The actual content of the term
has been lost for many, many students because they looked for a "practical" application
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to the term and misapplied it. While they joke about an application that isn't quite true,
they did learn a shade of the word because it mattered to them. It had relevance.
Be sure that your student is getting help in true learning, finding relevance, and
implementing methods that will help them achieve learning for any project or study that
they take on. With the right learning tools and appropriate learning activities, any subject
can be learned and information can be moved from the page, across the barrier of our
brains, and into significance - through the correct application of osmosis!
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Taking Advantage of Summers –
What Separates GREAT Students From Good Students
§Dr. Kuni Michael Beasley
One thing that clearly separates the GREAT students from GOOD students is how the
GREAT students strategically use their summers. Although some students have to
attend summer school and some get summer jobs, most students simply "goof off"
during the summer, as if summer is some sort government entitlement or constitutional
right.
In the educational system in the United States, we might have a good, solid six months
of actual educational advancement for each 9-10 month academic year. This is because
of summer vacations.
About the middle of April (around Tax Day), students get "Spring Fever" and begin to
shut down academically. It takes about six weeks to decline into total academic brain
death around Memorial Day. During this time the majority of students coast through the
last six weeks, doing the minimum. Come August or September, teachers have to
reteach most of the last year because the academic brains have been unplugged for the
summer months and have been operating on "dim" for the month and a half before that.
So with an extensive review, the school system manages to get the academic brain
back to its April 15th state in about six weeks - around Columbus Day. For the six
months between Tax Day and Columbus Day, the light is on, but no one is home...
academically.
As I look through the Valedictorian and Salutatorian lists in the newspaper, I notice a
significant number of children from what I assume to be first generation parents who
have come to the US. Many of these people bring with them a value for education and a
dedication to work that our population has seemed to have lost, not just in education. As
I observe many families new to the US send their children to special summer programs
and have their children fully engaged in advancing their education. This shows up in the
classroom, on tests, and ultimately on college admissions and scholarships.
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The choices, the options, and the opportunities are there for everyone. It just takes
those who have not had the privilege and luxury of the opportunities we have here in the
US to really appreciate and take advantage of what we have.
To be academically competitive, it takes about 4 hours a week in the summer to gain an

advantage. Indeed, a student who does anything academic in the summer will certainly
have an advantage over anyone who does not, the 4 hours may be an arbitrary figure. I
know from my own experience, a little application in the summer went a long way for
me.
I urge you as parents to not think about summer as "vacation" because it shouldn't be.
We have summers off schools because a hundred years ago we needed the kids to
work the farms. We don't have that need anymore, yet we still take three months off like
it was in the Ten Commandments or in the Constitution. The rest of civilized world
moved forward.
The United States is the only industrialized country that has to send its students to
college to finish high school. As we look at the number of students requiring remedial
courses in simple arithmetic and grammar while in college, we should wonder why
students have to do this. We can blame the school system, and they have a lot of blame
to bear. But we also have to blame ourselves because for 12 years we wasted one-
quarter of our year goofing off during the summer.
Do something with your students this summer that will move them ahead.
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Understanding the Accelerated Learning Myth
§Debbie Elder
Using the right tools can make any job easier, more efficient, and more enjoyable. We
all know this yet we tend to skip over this knowledge when we are trying to learn new
material. We continue to do the same slow, laborious reading of each word linearly from
front to back. We read without a purpose or at least without the right purpose and we
get frustrated because we can't retain what we have read. Isn't time to try something
new?
My good friend Dr. Beasley explains this very well with a great analogy. If you are
tasked with cutting the grass, you can cut it with a pair of scissors, you can use a push
lawnmower, or you can use a riding lawnmower. Each tool will complete the job but let's
face it; a riding lawnmower just makes more sense because it is the most efficient tool
for the job. Learning is the same way. Think about the last time you drove down the
highway. Did you need to pull over to the side of the road to read the billboards? Or,
were you able to read them at 70 mph, in addition to talking on your cell phone and
adjusting the radio?
So why not apply these same principles to your learning. I have been working with
students of all ages for years and, when the techniques are applied, the results are
consistently amazing! Learning was fun in elementary school. Remember? Why not
make it fun now? It doesn't need to be hard when it is done right. You can retool your
tool kit and add just a few very specific techniques and free up time for other things you
want and need to do.
Reading with a purpose is one of the first strategies you need to hone. Stop and take a
few minutes to determine what you are trying to learn from a specific book, article, or
even a website. Then ask yourself some questions. Think like a reporter. What are the
what's, how's, when's, where's, and who's of the material? Will you be asked to answer
questions on the chapter? If so, read the questions first, and then define the purpose of
the reading. Now you can act like a detective and uncover the facts to answer the
questions. When you do this first you save valuable time and increase the speed by
which you can finish the assignment. The best part is, by reading with a purpose, you
retain the information easier and longer. Give it a try. What have you got to lose?
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College Planning –
Have You Considered A Gap Year?
§Camille Rodriquez
Not every student will find that leaving for college right after high school is the path that
best suits them. Some students will find that taking a year off from their educational
pursuits, a "gap year," will be the best answer for them. This is not a time of sitting on
the couch and wasting away, but focused, intentional preparation that will lead to higher
degrees of success and advancement when students do enter college. A gap year will
address some of the concerns and issues that face high school students, and lay the
groundwork for a competent, independent learner for the future.
Many students struggle to know what they want to do for college - what they want to
study, what college they wish to attend, etc. Even with adequate discussion and
thought, some high school students are just not sure about these issues. Another
concern facing some high school students is that they may or may not have built the
solid academic footing that they need in order to be successful in college. Reading with
critical analysis, inferential learning, and application of data are tools that every student
will need in college. In addition, students will need to be able to quickly write papers and
essays, study for applied learning, not rote memorization, and be able to know the
varied levels of testing and how to prepare for each type. Lacking these skills and
abilities will compromise a student's overall progress in college. Sometimes, these skills
and abilities are slower to develop, regardless of biological age. Students may need
additional preparation. Similarly, financial considerations may be a reason for taking a
time out from educational studies. College can be a costly venture, and getting more so
every year. If students do not qualify for scholarships or have access to grants, many
will find the need to spend some time working prior to entering college. When these
factors are considered, they show some of the indicators that students might need to
enter a gap year.
A gap year is a reasonable option for students who need a little more time to develop a
plan for college and the skills necessary to be successful while there. During this time,
post-high school students should take advantage of this time to actively prepare
themselves for higher learning. Good courses in learning strategies are available and
should be pursued prior to entering college. Students who spend time focusing on
cognitive skills, speed reading, study habits, positive academic behaviors, and writing
techniques during a gap year, may also find the time to take on a job that will build their
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financial reserves in order to make college possible. This is an excellent time to take on
a job that will not only provide that financial resources, but teach students about
responsibility, reliability, and gain the recommendations of adult professionals who can
assist them with college references. Sometimes a student needs a little more time and
exposure to the opportunities before them in order to make thoughtful, wise decisions. A
gap year should never be considered a failure, but rather an investment in future
success. This option will work for many students and is a great alternative to rushing out
unprepared for college just because students have finished high school.
Strong students who have planned ahead in high school, built a solid academic
foundation, and taken advantage of learning and study courses may find that they too
would like to study abroad, travel, or take on other areas of interest (a mission field,
volunteer work, etc.), so a gap year may be a solution to those interests for them as
well. But certainly for students who find themselves unprepared, a gap year is worthy of
consideration. Nothing says that a student will miss their college opportunities if they
don't leave home at the age of 17. Taking the time to build strengths will save not only
time in college, but wasted money if a student does poorly and has to repeat college
work. Many opportunities are available for a gap year, including taking a few courses at
a local community college while building the strong skills for learning, so students may
want to consider this viable option in their college planning.
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College Readiness –
A New Definition and Perspective For Today’s College-
Bound Student
In a report prepared for the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation in 2007, David T. Conley
proposed an "operational definition college readiness of that differs from current
representations of this concept primarily in its scope." Conley states that "College
readiness continues to be defined primarily in terms of high school courses taken and
grades received along with scores on national tests as its primary metrics." Given the
current state of what I call the "college failure epidemic," where 60% of entering college
freshmen will not finish their degree in four years and almost half will not finish in 6
years, this fresh perspective not only has merit, but needs to be integrated into the
entire college bound process to insure our children are not only survive, but are
prepared to thrive in college. In this article I will address Conley's core definitions and
provide an operational outline to understand, interpret, and apply these valuable
perspectives.
Conley states:
"College readiness continues to be defined primarily in terms of high school courses

taken and grades received along with scores on national tests as its primary metrics."
Simply put, the current college readiness perspective is a function of high school
courses, grade point average (GPA) and SAT/ACT scores. Indeed, in my experience, a
good SAT/ACT score alone can open many doors and draw significant attention, though
it may overstate the student's real readiness for college.
Conley presents four components of college readiness and defines them as follows:
Key Cognitive Strategies: Intellectual Openness, Inquisitiveness, Analysis, Reasoning-

Argumentation-Proof, Interpretation, Precision and Accuracy, Problem Solving.
Academic Knowledge and Skills: Overarching Academic Skills (Writing and Research)
and Core Academic Subject Knowledge and Skills (English, Math, Science, Social
Science, Language, the Arts).
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Academic Behaviors: Self-Awareness, Self-Monitoring, and Self-Control
Contextual Skills and Awareness: Privileged information necessary to understand how

college operates as a system and culture that includes the Interpersonal and Social
Skills to interact in a diverse environment, and "College Knowledge" - the information,
formal and informal, stated and unstated, necessary for gaining admissions to and
navigating within the postsecondary system.
To restate these in terms that a layman, a parent, a student, even a teacher or

administrator can understand and apply, here is my "hip pocket" version of the elements
of college preparation.
Key Cognitive Strategies - the intellectual ability to Access, Acquire, Analyze, and
Articulate Knowledge and Thoughts. To be able to Read, Organize, Analyze, and
Document (write) what was learned.
Academic Knowledge and Skill - content knowledge of core academic subjects and the
skill to Read, Study, Test, and Write to the speed and intensity required in the higher
education environment.
Academic Behaviors - Leadership of Self: assuming adult responsibilities and

accountabilities, exercising self-discipline, self-motivation, self-reliance, and self-
determination to read-study-test-write within expectations and time constraints. Simply -
growing up and acting grown up - long before you start college.
Contextual Skills and Awareness - "College Knowledge" - learning and understanding

the Selection, Application, Funding, and Enrollment process of admissions, and
developing the interpersonal, conflict resolution, and social skills required in a diverse
environment.
This will help set a framework on what to look for in the college bound process. I will
address these in detail in subsequent articles. (Editor’s note: For additional articles in
this series, please see Dr. Beasley’s full series on his Ezine Articles, Expert Author
pages.)
Citation:
Conley, D. T. (2007). Redefining College Readiness. Eugene, OR: Educational Policy
Improvement Center.
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Community Colleges –
An Option Worth Considering
§Camille Rodriquez
When high school students are considering college choices, it is becoming more and
more common to consider a community college as the starting point for their college
career. Called a "2 +2" approach, the two years spent in a community college prior to
completion of their degree at a four-year institution can be time well spent. This route
will save money, give students greater access to professors, and allows students to
focus on study habits, learning, and completion of basic course requirements while still
making progress towards their degree.
In the past, this route might have been considered less desirable or only for adults
returning to school, but community colleges offer an affordable route to college for all
students, regardless of age. Particularly for college bound high school students though,
there are significant financial savings when choosing a community college over a four-
year college. Class fees for the hourly rates are reduced, and there are likely not to be
as many supplemental fees. For instance, at most four-year state universities, the trend
is to require freshman to purchase a meal plan regardless of their intentions to eat at
the cafeteria. This can add several hundred dollars to the cost of that school. That is
before the library fees, gym fees, resource fees, buildings and grounds fees, etc. are
added into the bill. These fees are typically not a part of a community college tuition
package, thus making this option very appealing.
The National Center for Education Statistics estimates that the average cost of one year
of tuition, room, and board at a public four-year school is $13,424. Compare that to the
same reporting agency's estimation for a two-year school of only $6,966. If your student
lives at home for the first year of that two-year community college path, then that figure
will be even lower. That factor is one that is hitting college graduates hard in today's
economy as they graduate from college with significant debt related to expenses at
those four-year schools that could have been reduced. With facts such as this at your
disposal, considering a 2 + 2 approach is a wise consideration for your student. They
can still look forward to the college of their dreams when they transfer, but they can take
an alternate path to get there.
An additional benefit of community colleges is that classes are smaller and professors
are much more accessible to the student. This allows your student to have more
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opportunities to interact with their professor, get assistance as needed, and receive
more individualized instruction. Transitioning into college this way has been a very
successful route for many students. They can spend necessary time honing their study
skills and organizing their learning so that they earn higher grades and perform more
consistently. Students also have access to many extracurricular groups and
organizations, and at smaller community colleges, this becomes a wonderful resource
for making connections, both with the faculty and with other students. Faculty
connections are a priceless resource to develop during this time as those
recommendations and their impact can open many doors down the road.
Recently, an informal poll was taken among some college students on Facebook.
Students were asked what they wish they had known before attending college. Among
the answers that came up more than once is the hindsight realization that they wish
they had considered a community college option prior to leaving for their four-year
college. They agree that while there might seem to have been a stigma attached to this
option from high school students at the time they were in high school, once they were in
the college, this stigma disappeared. The realization that they could have gotten a solid
footing with fewer academic and social adjustments all at once has been one of the
lessons that they wish they had known earlier, not to mention the difference in expenses
that could have been saved.
Taking all of this into account, high school students would be wise to pursue this path to
a college degree and with adequate study skills, time to settle into a college routine at
the community college level, and an economical place to do so, they are much more
likely to be successful at a four-year school.
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Five Things You Need To Know About Long
Term PSAT-SAT-ACT Preparation
There are five things you need to know about long term PSAT-SAT-ACT preparation. It
is as easy as A-E-I-O-U: You need to have Awareness, start Early, make it an Iterative
process, take the tests Often, and Understand how the raising your scores can help you
get into the college of your choice and help you secure better college funding.
Awareness:
• PSAT is geared to 11th graders and offered in OCTOBER ONLY. Anyone can take it
and you register at your local school. The PSAT is used to qualify students for National
Merit Scholarship competition. 6th - 10th graders should take it for practice.
• There is a wealth of information on the CollegeBoard.com and ACT.org website.
Students and parents should sign up for the information they provide.
Early:
• Start in 6th grade for practice - take PSAT in October for practice and take 1 SAT and
1 ACT for practice per year through Middle School.
• The Duke Talent Identification Program is available for qualifying 7th graders. Check
with your school for information on this. They usually test for this in the 6th grade.
• In the 9th - 10th take the PSAT for practice in October for practice, and 2 SATs and 2
ACTs for practice per year.
• Take a heavy duty prep course the summer between grades 10 and 11.
• In the 11th grade, take the PSAT for record in October and 2 SATs and 2 ACTs for
record. The goal is wrap up a good score by the end of the junior year.
• In the 12th grade, take tests as needed.
Iterative:
• The more you take the tests, the more you gain Test Maturity - become more confident
and competent with the tests.
• Even the SAT people have said you could gain 50 points per SAT through experience.
• Gain experience first, and then gain expertise. We really want you to have a few tests
under your belt before you start any hard core prep.
• Training will be easier because you understand the test and it will be faster to focus on
improving instead of digging out the basics of each test.
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Often:
• Take the tests often.
• You can take the SAT and PSAT an unlimited number of times and take the ACT up to
12 times.
Understanding:
• Many colleges award scholarships for SAT/ACT scores alone.
• Higher scores can overcome mediocre grades.
• The best Diagnostic is to take the real test under real test conditions.
The best long term approach is to start early gaining experience and polish with
expertise later. The BEST DIAGNOSTIC is the REAL test taken in a REAL environment.
Take ALL the tests: PSAT, ACT, and SAT.
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Money For College –
Did You Know Everybody is Entitled to Government
Funding For College?
EVERYBODY (citizens and legal residents) in the US is entitled to some sort of federal
aid -- EVERYBODY! It doesn't matter how much you make or how poor you are, you are
entitled to some form of government aid. Many people feel they make too much money
to qualify for government aid and forgo their entitlements and spend way too much of
their own money for college.
Federal student aid comes in three forms: grants, loans, and work/study programs.
Most people have heard of the Pell Grant -- originally called the Basic Educational
Opportunity Grant (BEOG) and named after Senator Claiborne Pell of Rhode Island,
who passed away January 1, 2009 (bit of trivia here). The Pell is aimed at lower income
students. Statisticians use the Pell Grant as a marker to determine the economic
diversity of student at a particular college (a bit more trivia). Next in line is the Federal
Supplemental Educational Opportunity Grant (FSEOG), issued to students with extreme
financial need.
Three other lesser known grants are also available: the Academic Competitiveness
Grant (ACG), the National Science and Mathematics Access to Retain Talent Grant
a.k.a., the National SMART Grant, and a new one, the Teacher Education Assistance
for College and Higher Education or TEACH Grant. The ACG is for students who
completed a rigorous high school curriculum with distinction and is applied to the first
two years of college. The SMART grant targets math, science, technology, and
engineering students in their last two years (third year if in a five year program). Both of
these are awarded on top of the Pell Grant. The TEACH grant targets students who are
training to be teachers and are willing to work in a high-need field in low income areas.
These are grants and do not have to be repaid.
The Stafford Loan is the predominant loan program for students and the PLUS Loan for
parents and graduate students. These Federal loans are the confluence of two loan
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programs, the Federal Family Education Loan (FFEL) and the Ford Federal Direct Loan
Program.
Now, get ready for little shell game to help understand these loans. There is kind of a
matrix with the FFEL and Direct Loans across the top and Stafford and PLUS along the
side. The FFEL and Direct Loan programs are differentiated by where the loan is made.
Under the FFEL, the loan is made by a commercial lender (bank, credit union, etc.);
under the Direct Loan, the loan comes directly from the Federal government. The
Stafford and the PLUS can come from either the FFEL or the Direct Loan sources.
The Stafford is further divided into subsidized and unsubsidized loans. Subsidized loans
are awarded based on need and the government pays the interest while the student is
in school. The unsubsidized is not based on need and the interest accrues while the
student is in school.
PLUS loans are made based on the credit check of the parents. These can be paid
back 60 days after the loan is disbursed or 6 months after the student finishes or leaves
school.
Everybody is entitled to at least the unsubsidized Stafford Loan regardless of income.
You have to file a Free Application For Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) to apply for any
Federal grant or loan http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/.
Loans are a good thing if you cannot afford the cost of college. However, I am not a big
advocate of borrowing. The student could easily end up with a loan payment as big as a
mortgage payment and have no house to show for it. I don't think any school in the
country is worth that much. But, I have had parents disagree with me and borrow
upwards of $150,000 (combined parents and student) to put their kids through a high
priced college.
Wouldn't had been easier just to make better grades and higher SAT and ACT scores?
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Four Critical Things You Need to Know About Filing the
FAFSA
The Free Application for Federal Financial Aid or FAFSA is where most college funding
starts and here is what you need to know about it:
1 -- Who actually processes the FAFSA? The people who do the ACT process the
FAFSA. I guess some years ago when the SAT people and the ACT people decided to
divide the college testing universe, Advanced Placement (AP), College Level
Examination Program (CLEP), and a few other things were retained by the College
Board, which does the SAT. The ACT people got the NCAA qualification process and
the FAFSA. This is the simple version of how the universe was divided.
2 -- Who needs to file the FAFSA? The short answer -- EVERYBODY! I don't care if you
won the lottery or your grandfather donated the money for the science building, you still
need to file the FAFSA. Although the FAFSA results are used for Need-Based Aid,
those seeking Merit-Based Aid (i.e., "scholarships") usually have to pass through the
FAFSA process. Colleges have you do this even if you are getting an academic
scholarship because for each scholarship dollar they give you, that's money they forfeit.
To mitigate the money that are not getting from you because you are getting a
"scholarship," they will see if there are other sources of money that you would be
eligible for that could be applied towards the money they are forfeiting up to give you a
"scholarship."
3. When do you need to file the FAFSA? The short answer is -- right after ball drops in
Times Square. I tell the parents of my students to send in the FAFSA when they get
back from the New Year's Eve Party. Seriously, the sooner, the better. The FAFSA
requires tax information from the previous year, but I don't know anyone who has their
taxes ready when the ball drops. It is best to get your taxes done early and get that data
on the FAFSA. However, if you don't have the taxes done by, let's say, Valentine's Day,
you can submit the FAFSA with estimated information and send an update later.
4. Where do I get the FAFSA? Online at http://www.fafsa.ed.gov. The form is pretty

straight forward and simple. However, millions of parents get "FAFSA Phobia," and
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seek assistance. There are many people out there who are willing to treat the "phobia,"
but be careful. A lot of these people can scam you. There is also a site to help you
estimate your FAFSA results at http://www.fafsa4caster.ed.gov. I recommend you try
the sites yourself first and if you still have the "phobia," get some reputable help.
The FAFSA, Need-Based Aid, and the entire maze of college funding can be both
confusing and intimidating. I hope this eased some of that for you.
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Four Sources of College Funding in Plain English
Here are my four sources of college funding:
1 -- Merit Aid is "money" the college awards you based on your academic, athletic, or
artistic abilities. There is really no such thing as a football scholarship. These are
officially grants-in-aid where a dollar figure is credited to the students' account. Merit Aid
is simply the college waiving normal costs to the college in exchange for the student's
attendance or participation in college activities.
2 -- Need-Based Aid -- This is calculated based on the information submitted using the
Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA). The Need is defined as the
difference between what the FAFSA people determine what your Effective Family
Contribution (EFC) should be and the total annual cost for the college. The difference
between the two is the Need and you can access federal, state, and college based
programs to fulfill the Need amount.
3 -- Entitlement Aid -- This is often missed because many people -- including those who
are supposed to know -- don't know. You may have entitlements based on your
geographical location (in-state tuition vs. out of state), past military service (like the GI
Bill), special category (like the blind, hearing impaired, foster children or children of
deceased fire, police, or military members), and special status (mothers going back to
college, Native Americans, people training to be teachers). Beyond these categories lie
the vast gamut of government loans that virtually anyone in the United States (citizens
and legal residents) qualify to receive.
4 -- Private Source Aid -- One of the big tools scholarship scammers use is the
abundance of private scholarships that "go unused" every year. There are many
thousands of private scholarships awarded each year. Many are made through a
particular college, or, like the National Merit Scholarship, awarded to the student, but
dispersed through the college, or, in several cases, a check from the private provider is
simply presented to the student. Most of these are tied to academic performance, but
many are targeted to specific groups -- ethnic, gender, national origin, activity, etc. For
example, the National Achievement Scholarship parallels the National Merit
Scholarship, but targets African-American students.
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Conceptually, we seek multiple methods of college funding to reduce the amount of
your money that comes out of your pocket in order to pay for college. We seek more
ways to pay less through grants and scholarships, to defer for payment later (loans), or
to get costs discounted or waived, in order to keep more of your money in your pocket.
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Myths About the SAT and ACT –
Three Myths Perpetuated About the SAT and ACT You
Probably Don’t Know!
College bound students are inundated with a lot of false information about college, and
in particular, the SAT. Students are told "You can only take it during your senior year,"
"You can only take it once," and "Colleges average your scores" - NOT!
Myth #1 - You can only take it during your senior year. NOT!
You can take the SAT as early as you want. We have 6th graders take it at my school
and Duke University has thousands of 7th graders take it every year as part of their
Talent Identification Program. For those who are serious about Admissions to top
schools and scholarships, we recommend you take the, PSAT, SAT and ACT once a
year in junior high for the experience. Take the PSAT each year and the SAT and ACT
once each semester during the 9th and 10th grade years. Take a prep course in the
summer between your sophomore and junior year. Take the PSAT for record in October
(only time it is offered) of the junior year, and an SAT and ACT each semester, taking a
continuing prep course or under the guidance of a college coach.
Myth #2 - You can only take it once. NOT!
You can take it as many times as you want. Although the ACT sets a limit of TWELVE
times, the SAT has no limits. Like I mentioned above, start early and take the tests often
to get the best results long term. After all, the people you are going to be competing
against to get into those top schools and get those scholarships are doing the same
thing.
Horror Story - I encountered an SAT prep coach in the Houston area who used this
myth to scare parents in to taking his prep course. He said that top schools like Harvard
and Rice will only accept ONE score and that if they see you took the test more than
once, they automatically disqualified you. NOT! Just to satisfy the fears of one parent
who heard this, I personally called the admissions offices of Harvard and Rice and
asked the question directly. The guy at Harvard was nice and diplomatic about it. He
stated that Harvard would accept the student's highest score regardless of the number
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of times the student took the test. The guy at Rice was more direct. His comment
included the term "Bull****," but he wanted to make sure we were off the record.
Myth #3 - Colleges average your scores. NOT!
Colleges only get the scores you send them. They CANNOT go online to the College
Board site and peruse your SAT file. Colleges will let you send them scores from
multiple tests and they will use only the best scores. Indeed, when a student is on the
cusp for admissions or a bigger scholarship, the admissions people will often
recommend the student take the test again to raise their score. Also, because the SAT
people "center" the score from test to test, some colleges will take what is called a
Super Score - taking the highest component (Math-Reading-Writing) scores from
multiple tests. These "centering" the SAT does for each test could actually make your
score lower on a test that you got more questions correct just because they adjusted the
scores. Hence the reason colleges try to find a way to help you look your best.
When you fill out the scoring sheet during the test, there are places you can enter
college codes to have your scores sent to them. We tell our students not to have their
scores sent to any colleges until you get them back. It costs and extra $10, but it better
to know your scores before you send them off sight unseen.
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Skipping the Freshman Blues
§Debbie Elder
One of the things that many college freshmen suffer from is a lack of happiness. You
may not think that others can see it, but it shows. I work with young adults all of the time
who are, in some way, feeling that something is lacking or that they wish they had other
skills, traits, abilities, things... Is this you?
I have learned that the answer to this problem is to handle the situations in your life as
the person that you want to be would handle them. If you acted like that person, you will
be able to concentrate on your strengths and focus on those. Then you will be able to
compensate for the weakness you feel that you have. When you do this, it will be easier
to see those areas that you want to develop in your own character and take the action
steps necessary to make those changes.
Do you question your decisions, making it difficult to be truly "happy?" Let the "me in the
present" be validated in the decision you have made. Decide you will not be
disappointed in your current choices, knowing that you have made the best possible
choices at this time with the information that you have. Act like the person you want to
be - confident of your choices and without regret.
Part of being happy is to like yourself and your decisions. Your self-esteem will increase
and you will find that it is easier to set and achieve realistic goals when you trust
yourself and like who you are enough to move forward.
Be optimistic. It isn't always easy, but it makes a difference in your body awareness,
your actions, your energy for taking on new tasks, and the limitations that you do or do
not set for yourself. Pay attention to the types of music you listen to, the books you
read, the movies you watch. Choose things that will build you up and encourage the
optimism that you are seeking so that you can become the person you envision.
Another tool for happiness is to be active. When you are actively involved in things that
you enjoy, time has no limitations - you are in FLOW! Flow is the things that you do that
when you do them time just seems to pass, hours feel like minutes. You could enjoy
that activity endlessly. Look for ways to add these activities into your day.
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Also, stay in control. When you stay in control, there is a balance to your life. You are
better equipped to respond to events as opposed to react. A response involves
maintaining control and is usually a planned and timely action. A reaction is unplanned
and unpredictable, and usually sets off a chain reaction that has consequences that are
regrettable and out of control.
Volunteering is an excellent way to increase happiness and almost always benefits the
volunteer as well as the recipient. Get involved at school, pitch in and help, join
committees and make a difference!
Lastly, resolve those inner conflicts. For example, either lose those last ten pounds or,
be happy and content with the body and weight that you have. Wasting time on the
struggle is counterproductive to the changes you are making in other areas.
College life can be over whelming and confusing the first few months, make sure your
teen is equipped to sustain their feelings of joy and confidence. Don't leave this to
chance, work with them now to develop their sense of personal awareness and help
them to foster these attitudes and behaviors.
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Successful College 501
§Camille Rodriquez
I am a few years past college. Okay, maybe more than a few. But I work with
homeschool students every day who are planning to go to college or already taking
college courses through dual enrollment, and like me, there are some items that they all
wish they had known before attending college. So based on my daily experiences, here
are my personal top five items that I feel students should take with them as they enter
college. Five principles driving towards one end result - a successful college experience
in every way. This is true for all students, but particularly for homeschool students who
may or may not have put their educational and personal success into the hands of
others before.
First of all, and this will seem obvious, but read the syllabus that you are given. Read it
again and again! Professors will include highly relevant information in the syllabus
including dates and necessary reference materials. Far too many students disregard
this piece of paper only to realize later that they needed it for staying on track or they
omitted something that affects their grade. The syllabus should be like your class "bible"
in some ways - be sure to follow it, check it, review it, and do it all over again throughout
the semester! Along with this rule, be sure to keep a calendar in which you note tests,
assignments, etc. and the preparation steps that you will need to take to be ready.
Actually block out study time, reading time, etc. throughout the semester so that you are
well-prepared, and not left to cram.
Next, get to know the professor. If you are a homeschool student particularly, you will
realize that the adult in charge of your class while in high school was an adult, your
parent, who knew you and could tailor their instruction to fit your learning needs.
College professors won't tailor their teaching to fit you, but if they know who you are,
and how you think, and can relate to you, they are much more likely to watch your face
for visual cues during the lectures to be sure that you understand the content. If they
see a puzzled look, they will be inclined to elaborate until they see you "connect" with
the information. Never discount how valuable it will be to have an open-door with your
professor for getting clarification and insight into his or her class content.
Third, take an interest in the material you are studying. Approaching the class with the
mindset of "What is this all about?" will be much more helpful than a, "When can I get
out of here?" mindset. If you look for the things that are interesting or unique, different or
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unusual, most likely you will find them. This will make learning more enjoyable, and
easier, too. If you just think you are going to be bored, you probably will be. An engaged
mind will always learn more than a bored one!
Fourth, take opportunities to regularly visit with your college's graduation advisor. There
is nothing more frustrating than realizing that you needed a particular class in a
particular semester and because you didn't take it at the right time, you will have to
postpone graduation by a semester in order to sequence your prerequisites correctly.
This happens all the time because students fail to seek degree planning help early in
their college careers. Don't omit this part of your college work, and be sure that you
know your advisor by name, just as you do your professors. Getting the right courses in
the right order is much like finishing a puzzle. You will have to connect some pieces first
in order for the others to fall into place.
And finally, remember that many of the lessons you learn in college will not be
academic in nature. There will be some that will develop your character, or prepare you
to manage your own finances and personal life. Some of your college experiences will
be positive and some will be negative. But as you are walking out your days in college,
try to keep a "litmus test" in place for your social and recreational activities, as well as
for your academic efforts. Unfortunately, many college students make decisions in
college that they come to regret or wish they could redo. That's true for all people, but
for some reason, the self-checking step seems to be skipped during college. Don't do
that. Continue to ask yourself if what you are doing is building a successful person who
can be proud of what they are doing in the years to come. Stick to those things that give
you a resounding "yes" answer - both for your social life, and for your academic life!
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Which One Should I Take – SAT or ACT?
Millions of Students Ask This Question Each Year
Every year, millions of high school students ask this question and few actually get a
definitive answer. There are differences between the two tests and if you know what
makes them different, you can plan a better college testing strategy to best position you
for admissions and scholarships.
The ACT - for American College Testing - is in Iowa City, Iowa. The ACT consists of
four sections - English (45 minutes), Math (60 minutes), Reading (35 minutes), and
Science (35 minutes), with an optional Writing section (30 minutes). ACT scores are
calculated for each section (English, Math, Reading, and Science) then a composite
score is derived from those section scores.
The SAT comes from the College Board - technically, the College Entrance Examination
Board (CEEB), in New York City. SAT used to stand for Scholastic Aptitude Test, but
doesn't stand for anything anymore. The actual test questions are developed by the
Educational Testing Service (ETS) in Princeton, New Jersey - that's where the
Princeton Review gets its name - because it was started in Princeton, NJ, not because it
has any relationship with Princeton University.
The SAT has three components: Reading, Math, and Writing. These are spread out in
ten test sections.
Now - for the differences:
Difference Number 1:
Do you know what SOHCAHTOA is? No, this not a Native American tribe from upper
New York state. If you know what this means, then you are probably better prepared to
take the ACT than someone who does not. The answer is at the bottom of this article.
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The ACT is a curriculum based test, which means that questions are based on what
students are supposed to have learned in high school English, Math, and Science. This
can be good or bad, depending on your perspective. If you didn't learn much in high
school, it will probably show on your ACT score. If you learned what you were supposed
to, that, too, will probably reflect on your score.
The SAT is supposed to be an aptitude test, which means it is supposed to test your
ability to think or analyze, or something like that. This means (theoretically) that if you
didn't learn much in high school because you were bored out of your gourd because you
are actually some sort of latent underachieving genius, it will show up on this test. This
perspective has some validity, because there are many underachieving otherwise
intelligent kids who make terrible grades yet score high on the SAT. The opposite is
also true. There are many hard-working high school students who make good grades,
but score poorly on the SAT.
The Essay. Back in 2005 the SAT made massive changes and one of those was to
include an Essay. ACT followed up with an optional essay. The reality is that after four
years, many colleges completely discount the SAT Writing component, including the
Essay because of problems with grading consistency. These colleges usually use the
Math and Reading scores.
This is where you need to do your homework. Find out if the colleges you are
considering actually use the SAT Essay or require the ACT essay. You have to watch
out. Although many colleges "officially" do not consider the SAT Writing and Essay, they
still get the scores with those components, and... with those scores right there in front of
them, may influence their perspective even though they are not "officially" considered.
My recommendation is that you take both - preferably in your junior year - and see how
you do on them. Don't send your scores to any colleges until you have scores you want
to send.
Oh - SOHCAHTOA is the acronym for the Trig functions: Sin = Opposite/Hypotenuse;

Cosin = Adjacent/Hypotenuse; Tangent = Opposite/Adjacent. The SAT only goes
through Algebra II. Trig is on the ACT.
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Creating Family Time Through a Modified Picnic
§Camille Rodriquez
One of the hardest things to do as your children grow older is to find and create times to
be relaxed and engaged with one another while doing things that everyone in the family
likes to do. Our family has a few family traditions that we use to create this fun time
together with little stress and everyone enjoys the time that we spend together. One of
those is the "family picnic," or so we call it. Many follow up conversations and teachable
moments come from this time spent together and it's one of our favorite things to do.
We've modified the format of a picnic for an indoor picnic which I'll say more about, but I
think you'll be able to see how this allows everyone to have a good time, and as a
result, family bonds are built and strengthened along the way.
The first element of a family picnic in our home is food. Every picnic should have food,
even if you are picnicking indoors. What we do is to create finger foods of everyone's
favorite things and put them out on platters and trays in our family room. You can do
anything that is easy and fun, but be sure that everyone has favorites. In our home,
typically that includes crackers, cheese, fruit, hummus, veggie sticks, and dip. The idea
is not to stress over the food, but to have enough "nibbles" to turn them into your meal.
Next, we pick out a movie on DVD. We have done animated movies, spy thrillers,
comedies, black and white classics, "chick flicks," and even a series of musicals. Any
one of those is likely to have some members of the family more engaged than others for
a given movie, but overall, everyone is willing to enjoy the movie together, and we are
sure to vary the genre from picnic to picnic. Keep the movie appropriate for the age of
your children, but on occasion, stretch the topic just a bit to allow for family-friendly
discussion on that topic. This creates a perfect and safe environment to discuss life
issues, faith, politics, civic responsibility, etc. And don't be fooled that the "younger"
animated films don't allow for these discussions, too - they do!
Then, everyone joins in, watches the movie, and nibbles our way through a meal while
watching the movie. When it's done, while we are cleaning up our picnic, or even
finishing it up sometimes, we talk about the movie. We pick out clever or witty movie
lines, and we've even turned that into a family game, too, but we enjoy the process of
seeing what everyone thought about the movie and why. Who did they connect with?
What did the movie remind them of? Could the actor have played the part differently? Is
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the movie like real life? What can we learn? All of these questions and more lead into
some fascinating conversations that have been incredible sources of delight and growth
for our family. No matter how young or old, all children will have an opinion on a movie -
I promise!
So, pick up a movie, grab some healthy snacks, and enjoy time with the people in your
life who matter most. This family-friendly activity is sure to become a favorite of yours,
too.
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The Four Critical Factors of Effective Discipline
§Debbie Elder
There are four guidelines to keep in mind when you are applying logical consequences
to correct misbehavior. The most effective consequences are applied immediately,
related to the behavior, controllable, and predictable. The goal of discipline is to teach.
We want to encourage the replacement of inappropriate behavior with appropriate
behavior. We also want to equip our children with decision making opportunities so they
can choose the right path.
The most effective consequences are those which immediately follow the behavior. The
longer the period between the behavior and the consequences for it, the less effective
the subsequent learning will be. This urge for immediacy is most important with younger
children, as your child grows the time between the misbehavior and the consequence is
not as crucial. In fact, I have had great success with teens when I have let them 'stew'
for a while and then tasked them with determining their own consequence. As the
parent, we do not need to stop everything we are doing to hurry up and determine a
suitable consequence for inappropriate behavior. Sometimes a lot can be gained by
allowing a child to spend some quiet time reflecting.
Consequences whenever possible should be related to the behavior. This is where the
learning comes in. For example, if your child is not using proper table manners. As the
adult you might say "You don't seem to be able to handle the responsibility of eating
properly at the table. If you can use appropriate table manners you can stay, but if you
can't, you can eat in another room until you feel you can eat correctly." The logical
consequence lets the child make the choice and it holds them responsible for their
behavior. Illogical consequences tend to resemble punishment. If the consequence
does not relate to the 'crime' the teaching is often lost.
Stated consequences should not be extreme and should be controllable and

enforceable. Also, consequences should not be open-ended, but time framed with clear
expectation as to when they are completed. For example, "Your chore is completed
properly when the trash is bagged and taken to the end of the driveway for pick up." The
use of enforceable statements is also very important, try and use wording that describes
what you are going to do instead of what the child is expected to do. "I will be leaving for
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school at 7:30, everyone who is in the car with their back pack and lunch is welcome to
ride along."
Since the main goal of a consequence is to teach appropriate behavior, effective

consequences are predictable. Predictability in terms of being logical and of similar
intensity increases as parent's consistency and credibility. As parents we all know the
first rule of good parenting is being consistent, logical consequences allow for
consistency, punishment does not. By keeping these four guidelines in mind you will
quickly increase your child's ability to begin his or her journey toward self regulated
behavior.
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Goal Setting – Fight the Fear and Get Smart
§Debbie Elder
When I hit my 30s, I had a "revelation," for lack of a better word. I realized that there is
incredible value in setting goals and actually sticking to them.
What is the #1 thing that keeps us from achieving the goals we set for ourselves? FEAR
FEAR is "False Evidence Appearing as Real" and many times that is all that it takes to
halt our actions before we even get started.
Because of my beliefs on fitness and health, I have also worked with others in helping
them to set physical goals. I can remember one situation where a friend of mine was
trying to lose weight for a wedding. The basic reason that they had not been successful
in the past is that the supporting family and friends did not believe that they could do it,
and they told this friend so, trying to protect her from her failure. This fear (and their lack
of support) had been stopping her from even trying.
After studying the works of Napoleon Hill, it has become increasingly obvious to me that
to accomplish what I want, I need to focus on it, commit it to memory, and act upon it
immediately. One of the terms that Hill uses is Definiteness of Purpose. This term refers
to the total commitment to a goal, daily thought and action given over to an attainable
end result. Definiteness of Purpose describes how I want your students to approach
college.
To begin this process, you need to decide on your specific goals and write them down.
Commit them to memory, and then decide how you plan to achieve them. But most
importantly, take action.
Remember my friend who was hindered in her efforts to lose weight? Parents do not
stop your students from dreaming BIG. Let their goals reflect what is truly in their heart
and passions to achieve. If they do not reach those goals immediately, you might be
surprised to know that they do one day down the road, but it is important not to put limits
on the goal setting, for your teens or yourselves.
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Let's talk about "smart" goals. First, they must be specific. This means you must detail
exactly what you want. For example, it is not enough to say, "I want to lose weight." You
must state exactly how much weight you want to lose.
Goals must be measurable. In order to determine success, you need to measure where
you start and where you end.
All successful goals require action. If you do not change the behavior, the odds that you
are going to attain your goal are pretty slim. So, if you continue to eat the same kinds of
food and do not exercise, the chance that you will lose weight is not good.
Goals also need to be relevant and realistic. A goal of 50 lbs. in a week is obviously
not very realistic, but on the other hand, you must push yourself within limits.
And lastly, they must be time specific. This helps to set the parameters within which to
focus your energies on this goal. You may have long-term and short-term goals that you
are working at the same time, but always give yourself a date or deadline for each goal.
Here is your challenge. Ten is a good number, so sit down and write out 10 goals for
yourself, and help your teen to do the same. College bound students have several
things that need to be accomplished before they 'leave the nest', help them prioritize
and take action. Hand write the goals out every day, and practice the habit of
committing them to memory and taking action. It has been said that you must do
something faithfully for 21 days to make it a habit, so I challenge you and your teen to
do this for one month, every day, even on weekends. Who knows, you might be
surprised where you both are in one month!
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I Breathe, Therefore I Deserve –
Ending the Entitlementitis Epidemic
§Debbie Elder
I breathe therefore I deserve - seems to be the mantra of our kids these days. What
happened to appreciation, gratitude, or even a simple thank you? Well, I can tell you
from experience that unappreciative kids are not very happy children. It is miserable to
live always wanting more and not enjoying what you have. When the cup is always half
empty, day to day existence is not very pleasant. When your feelings of happiness is
always dependent upon someone else's actions and behaviors it can be very
discouraging.
So how do we help our kids? There are specific tools and strategies, which when
implemented and practiced regularly can stop the feelings of Entitlementitis in its tracks.
First I'd like to share with you two basic principles parents need to keep in mind when
parenting. One, every child wants to succeed and two, every child wants to please you,
the parent. Now I know on some days it doesn't feel this way but it is the truth. As their
parent you are the most important person in their world. So our job is to make it easy for
them to give us what we want, so they get what they need.
The first tool I want to share with you is S.M.A.R.T. goal setting. Teach your children the
how and why of goal setting. Explain to them the importance of setting goals and writing
them out each day. When you get in the habit of handwriting your goals each morning it
forces you to really target on what is important to you. S.M.A.R.T. goals are specific,
measurable, action orientated, relevant and realistic, and lastly time specific. When this
formula is followed the end result is the successful accomplishment of what you desire.
Remember, success breeds success and is a very empowering tool. When a child starts
to make things happen their world, the process of taking responsibility and ownership
for their behavior follows naturally.
The second tool is really a recipe. That's right, a recipe for happiness, because when
you and your child have your needs met - you are happy. We are all aware of the
physical needs we have shelter, food, and water but did you realize we also have
physiological needs too? Well we do and these need to be met daily.
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The first is love, not romantic love, although that is nice, the need for love is fulfilled
when we feel a sense of belonging. Often this need is fulfilled through our family. We
need people that love us, care for us, and contribute to our sense of belonging. This
type of love comes from involvement and a commitment of time and energy. We need to
know this kind of love every day.
Power is another of the four needs, this is not power over someone, and that can be
difficult for some to comprehend, but it is a sense of competence. Power is knowing that
there are things that you do well. You need to feel good about what you do and to have
those skills acknowledged every day.
The third need is fun. We know that kids are really good at this, but family members of
all ages need to meet this need. Fun involves pleasure, enjoyment, learning, and
laughter. Things that refresh and renew our energies are fun. Having taught these
concepts at conferences for many years, I have seen that this area is difficult for adults.
However, our children need to see us having fun as well. If "being grown up" isn't fun,
why will they want to do it? Look for ways to have fun and be seen having fun so that
this need is met for all of the family.
And finally, freedom - Freedom is a big issue for kids. They need to know that they have
the ability to choose how they meet their fun, love, and power needs for the day and we
all need to remember that we can do anything we need to meet our needs provided it
doesn't prevent another from meeting theirs. One thing I encourage you and your
children to do is to run through a mental checklist at the end of each day. Did my needs
get met? If not - why not? What can I do differently tomorrow? Again, we are
empowering our children to take ownership of their circumstances.
Positive self talk is another tool in the fight against Entitlementitis. One effective method
of keeping a handle on our self talk is to help it along with daily affirmations. When we
think positive thoughts we are far better equipped on so many levels to deal with
anything 'life' throws our way. Equip your kids with this great 'armor of affirmation' by
joining our daily affirmation list. Email me and I will add you to the list so you can
receive your positive self talk boost.
Lastly, I encourage you and all the members of your family to start a gratitude journal.
This simple exercise can have the largest and most lasting effect on character
development. The process is simple, at the end of each day reflect and record five
things you are grateful for. The magic that follows a grateful heart is truly your biggest
ally in the fight to end the Entitlementitis Epidemic.
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Increasing Self-Esteem to Stop Bullying
§Debbie Elder
When we feel good about ourselves we are less likely to lash out at others. Just think
back to your last 'good hair day'. On a good hair day, everyone and everything seems
great, people are easy to get along with, parking spaces appear out of nowhere - life is
good. An anti-bullying program needs to include a component that deals directly with
self esteem and feelings of self worth. Because how we treat others is directly related to
how we are treating ourselves.
The way a child sees themselves is translated into their behavior. If their self talk is that
of the 'critical parent' they will speak to others in that same critical tone. If they are angry
at themselves they are more likely to be angry and intolerable of others. However,
children who are pleased with themselves tend to be pleasant and compassionate to
others. Abraham Lincoln summed this concept up best. "When I do good, I feel good.
When I do bad, I feel bad."
Howard C. Culter quoted his holiness the Dalai Lama who expanded on Lincoln's
words. "Survey after survey has shown that it is unhappy people who tend to be most
self-focused and are often socially withdrawn, brooding, and even antagonistic. Happy
people, in contrast, are generally found to be more sociable, flexible, and creative and
are able to tolerate life's daily frustrations more easily than unhappy people. And most
important, they are found to be more loving and forgiving than unhappy people."
So, we need to focus our efforts on helping our children to be happier. One technique
you can try this evening is to start a compliment circle. Gather the family and have each
person take a turn at turning to the person on their left and giving them a compliment.
Encourage others to deliver compliments that are specific to the individual they are
addressing. I have had success using this technique with children as young as four
years old. Give it a try; you may be surprised at how effective this technique is and how
quickly the mood in your home will shift.
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Learning to Be Everything You’re Not
§Camille Rodriquez
Think of your career, job, home organization, or something that you do each day that
takes up the bulk of your "working" hours. Got it? Okay, now I want you to imagine what
you would do differently if you were to completely start over in that arena. I am not
suggesting that you give up on that thing - definitely not. What I am suggesting is that
you look for ways to recreate that same thing, better. We hear an expression pretty
frequently, and it's used in all sorts of contexts. The expression is "quality of life."
Depending upon the environment, that expression can mean a lot of different things,
however, one thing is certain. When used, that expression is calling you to consider
important aspects of your life and look at them with an objective eye.
Change is never easy. It always requires some level of adjustment, but sometimes if we
are seeking to better our situation or that "thing," then we have to be willing to change.
However, we don't really have control of others who happen to be in our lives, not
ultimately, so the change that is required is change of ourselves, our habits, our
passions, our diligence, our priorities, etc. I tell my children often, 'the only thing you
truly control is your own response,' and sometimes that means that we have to respond
with action. If you were to change your career, job, home organization, etc. for the
better, what change would you need to make to be better at that thing? God gives us
many talents, but sometimes we are called to learn new ones, too. Look for ways that a
change in yourself could be the answer to increasing the quality of your life.
Another factor to consider in this arena is that our time on earth is limited. No one lives
forever in this body, and frankly, we wouldn't want to. God gives us a certain number of
days and for each of us, that number varies. But if you were able to live your life from
the perspective of good stewardship of your time, what would you be doing? Long-
range plans are good. Goals are very productive and critical for your dreams and
visions. But, remember to enjoy the process of getting to those goals because our use
of time is one of the only non-reproducible things we have. It is completely and totally
exhausted once we use it - never to return to us again. Is this moment being spent in
the way you want to spend it? You may not be called to change the world, and then
again you might, but each moment counts. Use them wisely. They are a gift to you.
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So, I challenge you to take one "thing" that you would like to change. Write out a
description of what it could look like if you were to start over with it. What would you do
differently? What would you change? How would you apply your valuable time to it more
productively? Pick three things that you can control in response to that situation and
begin to change those three things. Start small, but work consistently and purposefully
on those three things and see if you don't find that area of your life more fulfilling and
productive.
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Masterminding – Teamwork at Its Best!
§Debbie Elder
We want to encourage methods for our children to increase their feelings of self worth.
Keep in mind a healthy self esteem comes from what you do; it does not come from
what others say about you. Success breeds success. When you are successful - you
know it and this allows you the courage to tackle other projects and new experiences.
The identification of strengths' is another great tool for your children to adapt. When you
can identify your strengths you can build on them - concentrate on your strengths and
compensate for your weaknesses. One of the ways I helped my daughters and my
students with this idea was to host regular mastermind meetings. For those of you who
are not familiar with this concept, it was developed by Napoleon Hill at the turn of the
century, and his thought was that two heads are better than one - even if one is a
cabbage!
Each week the students were encouraged to bring to the meeting anything he or she
wanted help on. It could be anything from help on how to convince their parents to raise
their allowance to help with a particular course in school. Each student had a set
amount of time for their issue. They would explain to the group what the concern was
and ask for the groups input. All members of a Mastermind agree to work as hard on the
issues of others as they would on their own. This synergy and willingness to think
outside of the box has really helped to generate some amazing solutions. Often when
we have a problem we can't see the forest for the trees. But bringing in a fresh set of
eyes from a different perspective can allow very creative options to be introduced.
I implemented this forum for two very distinct reasons. First I wanted my students to
realize that you don't get it all in life, and the sooner you realize you need others to help
you achieve what you want, the quicker you will have success. The first step is to take
inventory, what are your strengths and weaknesses? In essence, what do you 'bring to
the table'? Before your teen heads off to college, you want to equip them with the tools
they need to determine their answers to these very important questions. Secondly, I
needed my students to be able to share their strengths with others, because if you help
enough people get what they want you will always get what you need.
By combining forces with others, your children can achieve amazing things in life.
Learning how to do this when you are young is priceless! When our children grasp this
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concept and are taught how to implement it, their entire experience shift to the next
level. Take a moment now to carve out time each week for your Mastermind meeting
and watch the magic unfold.
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Personal Growth
and the Lemons to Lemonade Mindset
§Camille Rodriquez
Have you considered the fact that some of the things that are most likely to help you to
grow personally will be those things that are the most difficult to experience? We've all
heard the butterfly analogy - The butterfly has to die to self as a caterpillar, and struggle
to push through the cocoon in order to be transformed into the beautiful butterfly that we
see. But when we are in the midst of the struggle, we would prefer to be the caterpillar
again, wouldn't we? If we stop to reflect on our lives, however, we will find that some of
the biggest challenges to our personal growth resulted in the biggest improvements
along the way. From time to time, it's helpful to reflect on past challenges, be cognizant
of their benefits, and allow them to help us move forward.
The first of these benefits in considering our past struggles is to learn to avoid those
situations in the future. Sometimes that's not possible, particularly when the
circumstances are out of our control, but often it is possible. For instance, if you are
finding your greatest struggle right now to be financial and you know that taking on
credit debt in the past was a problem, then avoid taking out any additional debt, no
matter how much you think you need a particular item. Cut up the credit cards.
Eliminate unnecessary purchases in order to free up cash for essentials. Avoid things
that have been past problems.
Sometimes, though, you are unable to avoid an issue. So another way in which to
reflect is to be aware of the responses we have made to previous struggles and
determine which have been the most successful. Continuing on with the financial
example, if you find that you are beginning to have these same types of struggles,
reflect and consider the times when previous decisions have worked out well, and do
those types of things again. Do you need to change careers, shop at a different grocery
store, sell property, etc.? Which methods have previously worked? Once you determine
which responses have been positive, you can learn from those solutions and implement
similar response techniques.
And finally, we can be grateful for our past challenges because they can change our
mindset. If we can look back over past struggles and realize that we have come through
them successfully, then we can have the assurance that no matter how difficult any
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present situation is, it will be something that we will be able to overcome through time,
help, and support. Look to your past experiences to add value to your future
expectations in this way and to seek out those persons or groups who have helped offer
the support that has most benefited you in the past.
Rather than dwell in our past mistakes or blunders and allow them to hinder our
progress, we can turn things around by taking joy in knowing that from our past, we
have learned some valuable tools that will help us continue to grow. We can avoid those
areas where we know we are more likely to stumble, we can focus on the methods that
have been successful for us in the past, and we can look to the future with the
expectation that "this too, shall pass." Don't let current struggles get you down - make
positive changes to your actions and attentions based on life lessons that have been
learned along the way.
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So, What Do You Want?
§Debbie Elder
Have you ever noticed that the majority of people you know only know what they don't
want? You hear it all the time "I don't want to be late, fat, tired, sick", and the list goes
on and on! So, if you are tired of being with people who don't know what they want -
read on! As with any change, it must start with you. You need to decide to step out of
the 'I don't know zone' and determine what it is you want.
There are several ways to figure out what you want, but the most effective is to create a
wish list. This exercise takes a little time to complete but the results are well worth it!
Imagine that Aladdin has just walked through the door with his lamp. You rub the lamp
and out pops the genie - the real genie, not Robin Williams! This genie is special though
and instead of offering you three wishes he gives you 101! That's right, you get 101
wishes.
Well, let's get started. Grab a journal (you are going to want to record your lists and
have them available to review from time to time - the results will amaze you!). At the top
of the page write "I wish for..." and then number down the margin from 1 to 101. Start to
write down what your wishes are, and if you are like most people the first 30 - 35 will be
pretty easy. Then the magic happens. You will start to run out of material things and
start to really ponder what it is that you want. Take your time with this and really think
about what it is you want in your life.
Upon completion of your list, file your journal and go on about your life. In two weeks,
pick it back up and read through your list. Check off everything that has transpired in the
last fourteen days. The mass majority of people who take the time to go through this
exercise receive ten items within two weeks. Now the items may not always be material
things, a friend you want to talk with might call, the boss might actually acknowledge
your contribution to the team, a trip you have been dreaming about may come to
fruition, etc. So what have you got to lose, take the challenge and make your list - the
results will amaze you!
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The Top 3 Areas to Organize
§Camille Rodriquez
There are three primary areas in which you need to keep yourself organized, and each
will impact the productivity of the others in one way or another. These include your time,
your space, and your activities. While there is some overlap, a little attention to each
area individually will help to keep you feeling prepared, in control of those things in your
care, and better able to respond to new opportunities as they present themselves. While
there are many ways in which to address each specific area, let's look at a few
examples for kicking off the three organizational challenge zones and some solutions to
them.
The first area to begin organizing is your time. Time management strategies abound,
but most of us fail to implement these techniques or we would be in better control of our
days. It's true that there are always exceptions or unexpected events that interrupt our
good plans, but one of the easiest tools to begin using is a family calendar. Many of us
keep personal calendars, but we need to think in larger terms in today's very busy
world. A simple on-line calendar will allow multiple users to keep a calendar that can
then be viewed by others to avoid conflicts. One of my favorites is a Google calendar, a
free application. The only requirement is a "Gmail" email account, again free, and each
member can access the calendar independently. When you set up your calendar, you
can assign color coding to each family member and access can be shared amongst the
family so that at any point, and from any computer location - home or away, all family
members can update and view each other's calendar effortlessly. Knowing what's on
the schedule for the entire family will go a long way to help keeping your time organized
and far less frantic or over-scheduled.
Another area to organize is your space - living space, office space, or both. If there is
less clutter and mess surrounding you, you will be far more productive. Having a good
system for filing or sorting things will help, but in order to put that system into effect,
often you have to do something drastic. Here is my trick for jump-starting your space
organization. Pretend you are moving. When we move, we spend considerable time
going through our closets, drawers, shelves, etc. and typically throw away quite a bit of
"junk." As we go through these items, we realize that we don't have the time to use
them as we had thought, or they are really not functional anymore. If you have a
"pretend move" event for your home, there's a good chance that you will be able to
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make some reductions in the amount of clutter that surrounds you. Ask yourself, "Would
I take this with me if I were to move?" or in other words, "Is this worth paying a moving
company to move for me?" If the items are that valuable or important, keep them. But if
you know that in reality, you would throw them away if you were actually moving, then
throw them away now!
Finally, another major area of organizational challenge is your activities. Similar to both
of the other areas but slightly different, is the need to keep your activities organized and
streamlined so that you can be effective at whatever you are doing. Both of the other
standards apply here, though. First of all, if you have a family calendar going and an
activity presents itself that is beneficial to the entire family, but there's a conflict, then
you can have an honest conversation with the appropriate family members to prioritize
your activities to the betterment of all. This may involve some philosophical decisions
about family goals and values, but this will help to set the tone for suitable and
acceptable activities. And, in helping to make those decisions, ask yourself the "moving"
question here, too. "If I were moving, would I want to create this type of activity in a new
home, new town, etc.?" If the activity is that important or beneficial, then perhaps
something else, a conflicting activity, would not survive the "moving" standard and could
be eliminated to make room for the new hobby, passion, or activity.
Spending some time looking at these three areas with a critical eye and plan for not only
yourself, but your family as well, will help you to make wise decisions about being
organized. The more time you can put into systems that keep you on top of organizing
your time, space and activities, the better off you will feel and perform in all of your
efforts.
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What is the Correct Food For Your Ego?
§Debbie Elder
How you present yourself to the world is extremely important. Others judge us by our
words, actions, how we dress, and who we associate with. Presenting your best at all
times is trying to say the least, but many have figured out how to do just that. The
internal dialogue you carry on with yourself allows you to make sense of the world
around you. However, if not tamed, this inner self talk can become negative and self
defeating.
A friend of mine carries around a very expensive set of golf clubs in his car, but here's
the catch, he doesn't golf. In fact he has never shot a stroke of golf in his life. But that
set of clubs continues to remove obstacles for him on a daily basis. Not literally, but
through his self talk. Without ever saying so, he gives the impression of being so
successful that he can spend many hours playing golf. When invited to play he gently
declines stating another previous appointment with some rich and impressive
businessman.
So why does he do this? Well, it bolsters his ego to the point that he is at the top of his
game and continues to ranks as one of the highest producers in his company. The
human ego is a very tricky thing that often needs to be managed. Those who have
determined how to 'keep it in line' are often the industry leaders. If you haven't had the
opportunity to do so, take some time to assess where your ego is at and if it is not
where you need it to be - self adjust.
Another very effective method for boosting your ego is to find your 'pacesetter'. A
pacesetter is a person whose achievements you would like to equal or exceed. Use that
person as a benchmark against which to measure your own accomplishments. Study
how they carry out their life and emulate what you see and discover. Continue to grow
and learn, stretch a bit daily. Once you set your sights on the goal, nothing can get in
your way, not even your own ego!
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Are You Being Herded Into Complacency?
§Debbie Elder
Let's face it the only thing we have complete control over is our mind. Our thoughts are
ours completely. It follows that we must be encouraged to live our own lives without
interference from others. By focusing on the power of your own mind you can lift
yourself to great heights of achievement in any area you choose. A genius is someone
who has taken full possession of his own mind and directed it with laser focus on an
objective without letting outside influences discourage or mislead him.
History confirms for us the truth in this theory. There are several successful people who
have overcome incredible obstacles to become rich and famous; Henry Ford, the Wright
Brothers, Thomas Edison, Andrew Carnegie, and Colonel Sanders, just to name a few.
What these men had in common was an unwavering definiteness of purpose. Each of
these men turned adversity into advantage. All of them were told by their peers that they
were on the wrong track and that they should stop their pursuit.
Imagine if they had listened to all the 'naysayers'? What if they took counsel from their
contemporaries? We might still be in the dark, on the ground, and missing out on some
amazing chicken. To be great you need to believe in yourself and trust your inner
wisdom. You have incredible abilities that we need you to tap into. Each of us has a
purpose and the ability to bring forth greatness from within.
Take some time today to stop and listen. Slow down and contemplate, are you moving
in the direction of your greatness or are you being diverted down the wrong path? Are
you simply going through the motions in life and being herded into complacency? Make
a commitment to yourself to determine your gifts and passions. Decide to pursue these
and share with the world your greatness, we are all waiting!
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Effective or “Real” Communication
§Debbie Elder
"Real communication is meaning transferred from one mind to another - not simply the
exchange of words."
You have probably seen the cell phone commercials portraying what happens a phone
call is dropped at the precise time the caller has shared some monumental life changing
experience and is waiting for approval or returned excitement, only to be left holding a
'dead phone.'
What happens next? The caller starts to assume what the other person is thinking and
feeling. Always, they assume incorrectly that the other person does not share their
enthusiasm for the situation or their idea.
What happens when you assume what your child is thinking or feeling because you
have "dropped" communication?
I want to share with you some proven strategies that can help you to have effective
communication with your family.
When you use effective communication, you reserve judgment. How many of you have
been involved in a dialogue only to realize that you are formulating your response as the
person is talking? We are always interpreting what is being said, and judging everything
that is being said. That hinders true communication.
I also encourage you to pay attention to body language when you are communicating,
both yours and theirs. It has been said that 55 percent of all communication is done
through body language. Have you ever noticed that when the words and the person's
body language don't match we tend to believe the body language? That little voice
inside you says: "Something doesn't add up here."
Use your 'I' statements. Effective communication cannot happen when someone feels
defensive or backed into a corner.
How do the following statements make you feel?

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"You never do what you say you will do; you are lazy and refuse to pull your weight. You
are never home on time and leave me here to do all the housework. You take me for
granted."
If this was being said to you, chances are you would have shut down and stopped
listening or you are so angry that you have stopped listening, or you have heard this so
often that you never started to listen! What if the sender of this message had said this
instead?
"I feel frustrated when you don't follow through on your promises. I sometimes feel like I
am the only one pulling my weight. When you don't come home on time, I worry and
don't feel validated that I am important to you. I love you, but sometimes I need more
from you, do you think we could talk about this?"
What would your response be now? I am guessing, though you may not agree with
what was said, you would be willing to discuss this situation in an attempt to clear the air
and resume the relationship.
This leads into one of the foundational skills required in effective communication. That
is, good listening skills. Too often, we charge off to "fix" the problem when we have
missed some of these cues because we did not listen. As a listener, you must also
empathize with the other person. Empathy is not agreement, but it acknowledges that
there is some reason that this person is sharing with you. It shows that you are capable
of understanding the depth of emotion they are sharing. When you can do this, you are
able to validate the person's position. Sometimes they just need to know that their
comments are being heard, and considered, regardless of whether you can "fix" their
issue.
And finally, good listeners are willing to suspend their judgments. This allows you to
hear all that is being said honestly. I once heard someone say that feelings have no
right or wrong to them. They are just feelings. It is how you act upon these feelings that
make a difference. This may be the most difficult step for a good listener, that of not
assigning a "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong" to the statements being shared.
People only care what you think if they think you care! If you are constantly giving
advice, children will see your statements as judgments not as caring remarks. Use your
times of advice sparingly and preferably when requested, especially as they get older.
Thanks for listening!
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Parents Just Don’t Understand
§Camille Rodriquez
If you were a fly on the wall in any school cafeteria, study group of students, mall
hangout, or other place where teenagers gather collectively, you might hear this
statement, "My parents just don't understand." It's true. There's really no sense in
debating its accuracy. But it also is true to say amongst groups of parents, "My kids just
don't understand." Both are valid, truthful, and honest assessments of the parent-child
condition. So what's a family to do? In discussing this with an expert in the field, my 15-
year old daughter, whom I am delighted to say I get along with beautifully, we came up
with some common issues worthy of being addressed if you want to "understand" one
another.
First, there is the issue of reasoning that must be addressed. Parents, I have news for
you. You are older. Emphasize the word "older" when you say that. That means that
you have outdated your ability to "get it," whatever "it" is for your teenager. On the one
hand, you could see yourself as spoiled milk. From the perspective of the average
teenager, you are past your date. So, from the viewpoint of your teenager, no matter
how smart you are, or how incredible you might have once been at a time long ago in a
galaxy far away, you are now unable to reason with a young mind. That's true.
But on the other hand, from the perspective of a parent, why would we want to reason
with a young mind? A young mind has not yet seen what there is to see, or done what
there is to do, or known what there is to know, so we are unable to go back and reason
with less experiential knowledge than we possess. We cannot undo what we have
learned and experienced. So reasoning without experience makes no sense to us.
That is where the second issue comes in. It's an issue of relating to one another.
Because we cannot reason the same way, parents and teenagers often struggle to
relate to each other. Face it, as parents, you are dealing with mortgages, taxes, putting
food on the table, and the like, and that's a pretty time consuming job. Teenagers are
dealing with school work, what kind of person they are going to be, how they are going
to fit in, and how far away their college can be.... Our viewpoints are different, so we
struggle to connect.
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This leads into the third issue - relativity. You see, parents, you have no past history
with your kids. Did you know that? They have no background on what experiential
knowledge you have and how that might have formed and shaped you; they only have
this current and relative time to "see" you. Remember the game where you spelled out
words on the calculator by typing in numbers that when flipped, spelled words? The
most famous one was, "7734." On a calculator, to the one person it's a number, but flip
it, and it spells, "hell." The relative position is what makes the difference, and that's true
for your children.
They don't want you to tell them what you used to be like, and they definitely don't want
you to recreate it by acting like a teenager again. They need to see the impact in your
life. The authenticity of why you do what you do, and how you do it, need to be evident
in the "flip" side of your life. But, and here's the catch, parents, if you want to understand
them, you will need to see the flip side of them too. You will need to see the why and
how of what they do, and ask about their reasoning - not with judgment, but with
genuine curiosity.
So, do you understand your kids? They might have a different answer than you do. Do
they understand you? Maybe. Maybe not. But, if you want to change this, you will need
to actively and intentionally approach your children with reason, relationships, and
relative living in ways that are demonstrated, not just talked about, taken into
perspective with their understanding, and frequently looked at from the flip side.
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Stop the Power Struggles With Your Child Today!
§Debbie Elder
Anyone who has tried to feed a baby something they don't want to eat knows the truth
behind these words - you can't change anyone else's behavior. So stop trying! Here is
the answer to stopping all future power struggles between you and your child. This is
important - read on!
Stop telling them what to do and start stating what YOU are going to do. Let me give
you some examples.
Instead of "Please sit down. We are going to eat now." Try, "I will serve dinner as soon
as you are seated."
Instead of "Clean your room so we can go shopping." Try, "I'll be happy to take you
shopping as soon as your room is clean."
Instead of "Don't you dare shout at me!” Try, "I listen to people who are not yelling at
me."
Instead of "You can't go play until you have finished your homework." Try, "Feel free to
play as soon as you have finished your homework."
Instead of "Don't be late coming home from school." Try, "I drive those to practice who
arrive home on time."
Instead of "I am sick and tired of picking up your dirty clothes." Try, "I'll be glad to wash
the clothes that are put in the laundry room."
Instead of "Get this room cleaned up right now and I mean it!" Try, "You are welcome to
join us for __________ as soon as your room is clean."
Instead of "Don't talk to me in that tone of voice!" Try, "I'll listen as soon as your voice is
as calm as mine."
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Instead of "Do your chores on time or you will be grounded!" Try, "I'll be happy to let you
go with your friends as soon as your chores are finished."
When you are clear on what you are going to do you send a very clear message to your
child. Using 'I statements' removes the defensive reaction you have probably
experienced in the past when you have insisted that your child obey your commands.
By inverting the conversation you will elicit cooperation. Be patient with yourself as you
start to use this new language, it takes some getting used to and it is probably not your
'mother tongue'. The results you will experience will be amazing, just remember to hold
up your end of the bargain - stick to your guns and follow through. Your child deserves
it!
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Three Questions Parents Should Never Ask
§Camille Rodriquez
As parents, we often seek countless sources for help in raising our children, but those
sources, no matter how profound their advice, will never be there to walk out our daily
lives with us. They won't see how we act and interact with our kids each moment of
every day. They offer fantastic starting points, and getting outside counsel in child-
rearing can be a valuable tool, but you might also consider asking your own children,
too! However, there are risks involved in doing that, and there are a few questions that
parents should never ask their teens unless they are willing to consider the advice.
Children do not "rule the roost," so to speak, but they do have very unique needs, very
different learning styles, different challenges, etc., and therefore, valuable insight into
how they personally could be parented well or "better." So if you can't handle it, don't
ask, but if you can, consider these three questions.
1. "What could I do to be a better parent?" -If you only have one child, it may be
harder to get an in-depth answer to this one, as they will have only seen one type
of interaction. With multiple children, however, you will have expressed a full
range of parenting actions, and so the combined answers may surprise you.
Each of your children will have a unique perspective on this one, but remember
you are ultimately accountable for your own actions and decisions as a parent.
Considering what your children think you could be doing "better" is an interesting
and challenging starting point to get the big picture on your parenting.
2. "How have I limited you?" -This question may take a little give and take to get at
an answer, but it will speak directly to your children's individual points of
frustration. If you desire to build up each child and support them in becoming fully
productive, living into their potential, etc., you will need to get out of the way as
they begin to do so. Parenting is not doing it for them, and training is not about
holding them back or letting them avoid learning opportunities. Sometimes as a
parent, you will need to release them to grow or stumble, on their own!
3. "What will you do differently with your own children?" -This question will bring the
focus back around to the future. If you want to know what your children envision
for their future, start getting them to talk about it. If you want to know what they
value in a parent, this question will take you there. This question will move the
focus off of you, as the parent, to your child, as a future parent. What they
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treasure and hold in high esteem will be the parent that they emphasize
becoming. Who is that, and how can you help them get there?
So if you have dared to ask these questions, you must then take the next step. Ponder
their answers, but also take action. Do what it takes to parent more effectively, without
hindering the growth of your children, and yet strengthening their own skills and gifts as
future parents. They will reflect back on your example one day, and the steps and
choices you make now will affect them later.
If you don't want to know, don't ever ask, but if you dare....
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What Are You Giving Your Attention To?
§Debbie Elder
What messages are you sending to your children? If you are giving them lots of
attention when they misbehave you may want to rethink this strategy. The best way to
raise a chronically unhappy and poorly behaved kid is to make a habit of giving a lot of
attention to them when they act out. Instead, take action, walk away, and have a plan.
Less talk more action is the key. When your child acts badly remove them or take away
the offending object immediately. Save the lecture. Whatever you do, stay calm. The
message is 'you are such a great kid and I can handle you without breaking a sweat."
No yelling or frowning, remain stress free. When dealing with young children, remove
them from the area and walk or carry them to their room. Tell them when they are ready
to act nicely and behave, they are welcome to come out and join the family. If they
return to the group and are not ready yet, simply return them to their room for more
thinking time.
The goal here is to teach the child that misbehavior doesn't pay. You will need to be
consistent and attentive to this strategy in the beginning. Generally when parents first
use this technique children need considerable time in their room, but this time shortens
very quickly. One key to the effectiveness of this technique is to not interact with the
child when they are in their room. The fastest way to blow this behavior management
method is to use too many words.
When your child emerges from their room don't lecture or remind them. Simply give
them a big hug and move on with your day. If your child acts up again in a few minutes
repeat the techniques. Some children require two or three trips to their room when they
are first learning this practice. Don't worry, this is normal.
Have lots of fun with your kids when they are behaving. Your actions speak louder than
your words. Being with you and interacting is very important to your children. They want
to spend time with you. You want them to miss you when they go to their room for
misbehaving. Be silly have fun, enjoy them. When they act out the fun shuts down
immediately and you remain calm but turn very boring when they misbehave. The
message should be loud and clear, misbehavior is no fun!
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You Need to Earn the Respect of Others – Even
From Your Children!
§Debbie Elder
Every child is an individual who deserves to be treated with respect. Respect is earned!
As parents, we need to respect their ideas, opinions, and time. Your children have
incredible ideas -listen to them. Their creative juices need to be fostered, not squelched.
Also, respect their opinions, very few of us are blessed with children who share every
one of our opinions. And, thank goodness, that would get very boring - very quickly. So,
the way your children will learn to respect the opinions of others is from you and by your
example.
Respect their time; I really see this abused often by parents of younger children. I have
had guests in my home who are 'door hanger outers'. You know the people who say
they are leaving and then stay and talk at the front door for 20 minutes. Well, here is
what I have witnessed. The parents call the kids and tell them to get ready to go. The
kids, being obedient, quickly assemble at the front door. But, low and behold - no one is
leaving. So, eventually the kids drift back to the toys and start playing. Well, guess how
this ends, and who is yelled at for not being ready to leave - right, the kids!
Another example of parents not respecting their children's time that I have seen over
and over again takes place at the grocery store. OK, admit it - no one likes to grocery
shop and least of all small children. So picture this scene: mother and children are
shopping, the kids have been really great - holding it together throughout the entire
grocery store and they are just about to leave when... Mom bumps into a neighbor and
stops to chat. The kids are restless and start fussing, only to be chastised and
disciplined for 'acting up'! Well, chatting and being friendly is great, but we need to be
respectful of our three year old who has held it together for the past hour and whose
limit is up. A quick wave and a smile can suffice - call your friend when your child is
napping quietly at home.
Parents are also guilty of expecting specific chores to be done right in the middle of their
child's favorite TV show. This has power struggle written all over it, and it robs the child
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of a great teachable moment. Let me explain. Instead of micromanaging your household
and telling everyone what to do and when, try assigning tasks with an end-time this
offers an opportunity for the child to manage their time.
For example:
"The laundry is folded and needs to be put away before dinner."
"The trash needs to be taken out before you leave for Joey's house."
"The table needs to be set before we can eat dinner.'
All of these offer the child the opportunity to learn to manage their time. The
'When...Then' rule is a great one to use in these situations. When "X" is completed then
you can do "Y". Your job as the adult is to hold up your end of the bargain. If the laundry
isn't put away, don't serve dinner. If the trash is not taken out, your child doesn't leave to
see Joey and if the table isn't set no one eats!
Respecting your child's ideas, opinions, and time is so important because it lays the
foundation for their self respect.
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About the Contributors
Dr. Kuni Michael Beasley
Dr. Kuni Beasley has a BS from Texas Christian University, an MBA

from Oklahoma City University, a Doctor of Ministries from Tyndale
Seminary, and a Ph.D. from the University of Texas. He attended the
Marine Military Academy in Harlingen, Texas, graduating at 16 with a
full college scholarship.
Dr. Beasley was a college professor for 16 years and has served on
the faculty of Northwood University (Business & Government),
LeTourneau University (Business Management), University of Texas-
Arlington (Public Administration), and Dallas Baptist University (Political Science).
Dr. Beasley's company operates 13 college preparatory academies/schools across the US, the
National Homeschool Academy, and provides success programs for college bound students in
the US and abroad.
He is a recognized authority on college success - preparing, packaging, and positioning

students for greater opportunities and tracking them through the Selection - Application -
Funding - Enrollment process. In 2008, 100% of Dr. Beasley's students received college
scholarships and all but three received full scholarships to the college of their choice.
The pillars of his college success process are his SAT and ACT preparation programs. Where
most prep programs attempt to reteach high school in 6 weeks, Dr. Beasley focuses on "beating
the test." In 2 hours, Dr. Beasley shows students test-taking techniques that have helped bump
SAT scores 100 points and ACT scores 5 points. He has similar programs for AP, GMAT, GRE,
LSAT, and CLEP.
Dr. Beasley has helped students gain admission and receive scholarships to some of the top
colleges and universities in the country to include Harvard, Notre Dame, Georgia Tech,
Pepperdine, Colorado, Texas, Texas A&M, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State, West Point, Annapolis,
Air Force Academy, Texas Christian, Lehigh, Dartmouth, and the list goes on.
In addition, Dr. Beasley is a recognized expert on accelerated learning. He teamed with Howard
Stephen Berg, "the World's Fastest Reader," to transform the Speed Reading program into a
comprehensive learning system training people to Read-Study-Test-Write better and faster. Dr.
Beasley has helped students graduate from high school ahead of their class, start college early,
and graduate from college as young as 16 (with a 4.0!).
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Dr. Beasley is a retired Army officer who commanded combat troops overseas, did strategic
planning for the Federal Reserve, international management with Caltex Petroleum, and even
coached high school football - winning the 1994 Texas State Championship - before entering
education fulltime.
Debbie Elder
Mrs. Debbie Elder, Owner of Set Them Up For Success and the
Executive Director of the New American School, is a graduate of
Carleton University, Ottawa, Canada and a former police officer with
the Ottawa City Police Force. She then moved to Calgary, Alberta
where she was a youth worker in charge of the disciplinary unit of a
secure custody facility for young offenders. Within this organization she
was promoted to the position of Labor Relations Coordinator
responsible for mediating between staff, management, and the Union.
Mrs. Elder left this position to work as an educator with the John Howard Society, teaching high
school law and Introduction to Canadian Law at the University of Calgary. After the birth of her
first child, she decided to open her home to troubled teens and was voted the Therapeutic
Foster Parent of the year in 1993. Upon her arrival in Houston, Mrs. Elder worked as a
preschool teacher and ran her own Behavior Management Consultant business helping teens,
families, and Corporate America by providing training in Leadership and Interpersonal
Communication skills.
As a professional educator and speaker, Mrs. Elder traveled the nation training teachers and
parents in motivation techniques and success strategies. She remained a tutor and Success
Coach for elementary through college age students until January 2004 when she joined the
New American School team.
Camille S. Rodriquez
Mrs. Camille Rodriquez, Owner of Joy Abides and Executive Director

and Co-Founder of National Homeschool Academy, is a graduate of
the University of Texas where she attended on a full scholarship. After
receiving her bachelor's degree, she worked in radio, writing
commercials and public service announcements, as well as in
television in Austin, Texas.
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In 1989, she and her husband moved to the Houston area where she became a substitute
teacher in the public schools. Familiar with the strengths and weaknesses of the public schools
and originally "just an experiment," Mrs. Rodriquez became involved in homeschooling when
her first child was three years old. This involvement developed into a passion for seeing the
"light bulb turn on" as her children learned and grew in their studies. She continued
homeschooling all four of her children and successfully graduated her oldest child from high
school at sixteen. She served on the steering committee, including the office of President, of
local homeschooling support groups in both the Houston area and in Sewanee, Tennessee
while living there during her husband's seminary training. She has served as Christian
Education Director and Children's Ministries Coordinator in her churches and facilitates
women's Bible studies.
Mrs. Rodriquez also spent two years in private school instruction, but left that work in 2005 to
become a member of the NEW American School staff, now operating as New College
Preparatory Academy. Currently, in addition to her role as Executive Director for National
Homeschool Academy, Mrs. Rodriquez is the Associate Dean for Academics in the NEW
College Prep program.
She has also taken up blogging and writing, particularly in the area of Christian living. Her first
novel is being published by Tate Publishing, Inc., and is due out sometime in the winter of
2010/2011.
More Information
Web: www.newcollegeprep.com
www.nationalhomeschoolacademy.com
Email: docbeasley@gmail.com
delder@newcollegeprep.com
camille@nationalhomeschoolacademy.com
Phone: 1-866-429-5951
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*Preparation for College

*Insights for Parenting and Family Management

Preparation for College

Insights for Parenting and Family Management

Communication Tips and Strategies for Families

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

Educational Strategies for Families

Cell Phones, Essays, and Reading Comprehension 6

Five Reasons People Homeschool Their children 8

Five Study Factors that Work 10

Homeschool Roadblocks – Four Traps to Avoid 12

How Homeschooling Afffects Children’s Social Skills 14

Osmosis Truly Works in Education 16

Taking Advantage of Summers – What Separates GREAT Students From 18

Understanding the Accelerated Learning Myth 20

Preparation For College

College Planning – Have You Considered A Gap Year? 21

College Readiness – A New Definition and Perspective For Today’s 23

Community Colleges – An Option Worth Considering 25

Money For College – 29

Money For College – 31

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

Myths About the SAT and ACT – 35

Skipping the Freshman Blues 37

Successful College 501 39

Which One Should I Take – SAT or ACT? 41

Insights for Parenting and Family Management

Creating Family Time Through A Modified Picnic 43

The Four Critical Factors of Effective Discipline 45

Goal Setting – Fight the Fear and Get Smart 47

I Breathe, Therefore I Deserve – 49

Increasing Self-Esteem to Stop Bullying 51

Learning to Be Everything You’re Not 52

Masterminding – Teamwork at Its Best! 54

Personal Growth and the Lemons to Lemonade Mindset 56

So, What Do You Want? 58

The Top Three Areas to Organize 59

What is the Correct Food For Your Ego? 61

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

Effective or “Real” Communication 63

Parents Just Don’t Understand 65

Stop the Power Struggles with Your Child Today! 67

Three Questions Parents Should Never Ask 69

What Are You Giving Your Attention To? 71

About the Contributors 74

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

If the goal is to prepare students to become adults who function in a family, a

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

©2010 Dr. Kuni M . Beasley, LLC, Debbie Elder, LLC,

To be academically competitive, it takes about 4 hours a week in the summer to gain an