The Pioneer Log, April 8, 2011 Opinions 5

Separate church & commencement Fix Microsoft

BY DYLAN DISALVIO
Staff Writer
Every year at Lewis &
Clark’s official Commence-
ment and Convocation cere-
monies, Dean of the Chapel
Mark Duntley leads grad-
uating seniors, incoming
freshmen and their families
in prayer.
Though this Invocation
is, in Duntley’s words, “the
shortest thing on the pro-
gram,” it has no place at any
official function of LC and is
a wholly inappropriate show
of backwards, bigheaded re-
ligious arrogance.
LC is a secular institution
with no religious affiliation.
Our chapel is a relic, a hold-
over from LC’s Calvinist ori-
gins.
The Dean of the Chapel
has spoken in an official ca-
pacity at the Commence-
ment and Convocation cer-
emonies since the founding
of the College, and the Invo-
cation, according to Dunt-
ley, used to be much more
religious, with overt refer-
ences to Christian theology.
Duntley tries to make the
service religious but non-
Christian, and nowadays,
instead of thanking Jesus,
the Dean thanks “Gracious
God”—but the effect is the
same as if he had thanked
the Virgin Mary, the Pope
or another Christian icon.
While his removal of blatant
references to Jesus is appre-
ciated, everyone knows that
Mark Duntley is a Christian
Reverend and the Chapel is
a Christian church. When
the Dean of the Chapel in-
vokes “Gracious God,” he
invokes a Christian God.
Such speech is offensive
because of its condescend-
ing nature and intent. The
officials in charge of Com-
mencement and Convoca-
tion know that a majority
of students at LC are not
Christian. They presume
that, even to those who are
not Christian or religious,
the kind words will be ap-
preciated.
In 2010, the
Princeton Review
ranked LC as the
17th least reli-
gious college in
the United States.
While it certainly is ap-
preciated by some, many
students at LC are not re-
ligious. In 2010, the Princ-
eton Review ranked LC as
the 17th least religious col-
lege in the United States. On
stage, the Dean speaks for all
of us, and presumes that we
all would like to thank his
“Gracious God.”
But what about the part
of the student body that is
non-religious? How are they
to feel when their thanks are
given without their consent?
Like many of my peers, I was
raised as an Atheist and reli-
gion is foreign to me; being
forcefully included makes
me feel uncomfortable and
preached to.
The worst part is that,
because it’s presented by a
college official at the pivotal
points of all of our under-
graduate careers (both as we
enter and leave college), the
words are given the weight
and gravity of four full years
of attendance.
The ceremony is momen-
tarily hijacked by the reli-
gious ideas of a minority. My
inclusion is not voluntary,
and the assumption that it
will be appreciated makes it
all the more insulting and
outrageous.
Essential to tolerance,
which all modern secular
institutions purport to prac-
tice, is respect for others’
views: the religious beliefs of
one group should never be
forced upon another. What
about all of the religious
non-Christians at the cer-
emony? No thanks are given
to Buddha or Vishnu; in-
stead, we are presented with
a Christian prayer from a
Christian man.
Complaints about re-
ligion in Commencement
Word on the Macs
and Convocation that have
been made before have fall- BY FIONA CORNER considered using a PC com-
en on deaf ears. I spoke with Sports Editor puter, but also creates an-
Associate Professor Juan other barrier in my already
Carlos Toledano Redondo, Every single time I close rushed sprint down to my
Director of Latin American Microsoft Word in the Du- next class.
Studies, who formally com- bach Mac Lab in Temple- Unfortunately, because
plained to the Dean several ton, it tells me that Micro- I know nothing about IT
years ago. Religious involve- soft is reporting an error. and I tend to be quite busy,
ment in these functions is This incredibly annoying I have not had the time to
particularly hard on non- message happens whether look into the error more.
Christian faculty members, or not I save a document or Perhaps my angry rant-
Redondo explained, as they print a document. No ex- ing opinion is more of a cry
feel morally obligated to stu- planation is given, and there of desperation to those who
dents to attend these events is no way to find out what know more than I do.
despite being put off by the type of error has occurred. Please, someone, either
Invocation. I’m sure you all know explain to me how I can fix
It’s easy to see why reli- what I’m talking about if this Microsoft error so that
gious college officials don’t you have ever used Micro- I do not have to wait the 25
understand how proud and soft Word in the Dubach extra seconds to push two
hurtful such a presumptive Macintosh Computer Lab. more buttons on my way to
intent can be. Prayer is in- This error-reporting mes- class, or fix the error so that
cluded in the ceremony by
well-intentioned people who
sage not only annoys me it doesn’t happen anymore,
to the point where I have to anyone, ever again.
figure it can’t hurt because
it consists of well wishes for
the graduates and their fami-
lies.
Regardless of good inten-
tions, it is absurd that such
traditions persist in this
modern day at the official
functions of secular institu-
tions.
There is no good rea-
son for prayer during com-
mencement. Please, pray
privately—do what you
need to make yourself hap-
py—just don’t force others ILLUSTRATION BY
NATALIE EAGAN
to come along with you.

Wrongful representation during campus tours

have to think that this very news-
paper consists of nothing but the
Backdoor, or as she described it,
“the funny joke page in the back.”
I’m glad the funnies are getting
some love, but when you’re try-
ing to sell this college to folks who
know nothing about it, is it real-
ly the best strategy to skip past a
dozen pages of investigative jour-
nalism and campus event previews
for a section filled with inside
jokes?
Then there’s the classic line
about the Womyn’s Center.
A few of us got so sick of re-
peatedly hearing “this is the
Womyn’s center... [awk-
ward pause] ...they give out
free chocolate!” that we re-
sorted to posting a notice
outside the office that was
explicitly addressed to tour
guides with helpful, rarely
mentioned facts, like how
it’s a feminist student orga-
takings going on for prospies and
their families to be fed boring or
untrue information.
If I were a tour guide, I’d sing
authentic praise to this institu-
tion.
I’d tell people about how the
Womyn’s Center donated over
1,000 dollars in proceeds from
their annual Vagina Monologues
performance to a local charity. I’d
tell people how OMA brought
radio goddess Michele Norris to
campus. I’d tell them how our
ADVERTISEMENT
~ sign up NOW for ~
ALUMNI
women’s basketball team kicked
ass this year, how students helped
build the pathway through Pac-
man lawn over the summer, how
we were the first American college
to meet Kyoto protocol on green-
house gas emissions and how our
professors research spider venom
and write nationally lauded poetry
in their spare time. I wouldn’t tell
them about chocolate and ATMs.
I’m not saying being a tour
guide is easy; I’m saying our
school deserves better.

CAREER
nization.
The funny thing is that
it worked.
The sad thing is that on
bad days the ATM around

CORPS
the corner still gets more
PHOTO BY GRACE GUENTHER
Prospective students admire the nation’s second most beautiful campus on a tour. attention than any particu-
lar student organization.
While writing this opin-
BY NATALIE BAKER Multicultural Affairs is not—in ions piece— I shit you
Editor-in-Chief contrast to what one enthusiastic, not—a tour guide led a YES,  there  is  life  "off  the  hill"!  Why  not  
young tour guide told a handful group of doe-eyed visitors
I’ll just cut to the chase: some of families as I sat nearby—just a past the Multicultural Re- prepare  for  it  and  learn  how  to  thrive?  
of the things our campus tour place to go if you are from another
country or “feel like you identify
source Center and SEED
office (naturally without
Meet  with  Alumni  in  the  evenings  for  30  
guides say are patently untrue.
While I can appreciate the dif- with another country.” mentioning either) and minute  slots,  M–  TH  (6:30  -­‐  8:30  pm).    
ficulty of regurgitating a long list I don’t necessarily know what proceeded to point out the
of facts in an attempt to make one that last statement is supposed to two lone ATMs on cam- Get  career  advice,  resume  help  and  even  
pus, explaining the unfor-
institution appealing to a wide mean, but I’ll assume it has little
to do with OMA’s actual work tunate fee incurred if one
do  mock  interviews!  Sign  up  for    
variety of folks—all while walk-
ing backwards—some of the ir- surrounding inclusivity, diversi- does not have a U.S. Bank 1-­‐on-­‐1  sessions  at  3CE  or  email    
relevant and even fictitious sound ty and understanding within the account.
bites of certain tour guides are just community. Why is this happening? Rebeca  Beeman  (rbeeman@lclark.edu).  
 
plain insulting. And if I took one particular There are way too many
For example, the Office of tour guide’s quips to heart, I’d badass community under- www.lclark.edu/college/offices/alumni/corps/