4/15/2011 Getting to Know Americans

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Getting to Know Americans

Many observers from abroad have the impression that friendships among Americans tend to be shorter and less intense than those among people from other
cultures. Because Americans are taught to be self-reliant and live in a mobile society, many tend to avoid deep involvement with other people. Further,
Americans tend to "compartmentalize" their friendships, having their "friends at work," "friends at school," a "tennis friend," and so on. Americans often seem
very friendly even when you first meet them.

Following are some suggestions from other international students on how to make American friends:

Be patient if Americans are ignorant of some aspect about your home country. Use the opportunity to educate and share, just do so in a polite and
brief manner.
Seek out Americans w ho are at leisure, such as eating in a cafeteria or sitting in a lounge.
Consciously commit yourself to spending time away from your compatriots to be w ith Americans.
Be persistent. Persevere through the disappointments w ith superficial interactions.
Observe their focus on themselves, rather on than their families.
Know what topics Americans like to discuss. In a university setting, these usually include classes, professors, homew ork, music, clubs, movies, sports,
and vacation plans.
If an American invites you for a meal or snack in a restaurant, s/he might expect you to pay for your food. Do not assume that s/he will pay for you just
because s/he invited you.
Learn more about the United States and its culture. Read the follow ing section to get started.
Join one of the many clubs at NYU, or get involved in a volunteer project by contacting the NYU Office of Community Service at (212) 998-2329.

Cultural Characteristics of U.S. Americans

Some international students come from very homogenous societies in which most people have the same racial, linguistic, and religious background. The
United States, on the other hand, is extremely diverse, with large numbers of people from different racial, cultural, ethnic and religious backgrounds. Even
w ith this diversity, it is possible to identify certain characteristics, attitudes and practices common among Americans. The following observations are
generalizations of the dominant culture, and you will find many individuals who are exceptions to any or all of them. For simplicity, the word American is used
to mean a person residing permanently in the United States.

It is important that as a visitor to the United States you understand w hat the cultural customs and expectations are. This does not mean that they are the
best or that you should change your lifestyle. There may be some practices or ways of thinking that you will like and adopt. There will be others that you do
not wish to use. Knowledge of the unwritten rules that those in the United States live by will benefit you in everyday academic and social life.

New York City has a long and rich history as a port of entry to the United States. One out of every three residents of New York City is foreign born, compared
to ten percent of the population nationally that are foreign born. Also, a significant number of tho se born in the U.S. have moved to New York City from other
regions. Therefore, New York City represents a more diverse population and broader variations on cultural values. To experience U.S. culture in its full array,
international students are encouraged to travel to other regions of the United States.

Individualism
Americans generally believe the ideal person is self-reliant. Most Americans see themselves as separate individuals, not as representatives of a family,
community or other group. They dislike being dependent on other people, or having others depend on them. Some people define this trait as selfishness.
Others see it as a healthy freedom from the constraints of family or social class.

How is this value manifested into behavior? In individualist cultures, such as the U.S., it is assumed that people need to be alone some of the time and prefer
to take care of problems by themselves. Another expectation is that people are ready to "do business" very soon after meeting, without much time spent on
preliminary conversation. Also people act competitively, are proud of their accomplishments and expe ct others to be proud of their own accomplishments.

Equality and Informality

Americans are taught that "all men are created equal." While they continually violate that idea in some aspects of life, in others they adhere to it. They treat
each other in very informal ways, even in the presence of great differences in age or social standing. From the point of view of some people from other
cultures, this kind of behavior reflects lack of respect. From the point of view of others, it refle cts a healthy lack of concern for social ritual.

Examples:

People waiting a turn in line and not letting someone who just arrived take an earlier turn based on a higher status.
Adults in the majority culture routinely use each other's first names upon introduction.
A trend towards "dressing down," that is, informally, in the w orkplace on Fridays and for Christian church services during the summer.

Time Consciousness
Americans place considerable value on punctuality. They tend to organize their activities on a schedule. As a result, they may seem hurried, alw ays running
from one thing to the next, and unable to relax and enjoy themselves. Foreign observers sometimes see this as being ruled by the clock. Other times they
see it as a helpful way of assuring things get done.

As a general rule, for professional appointments such as your class, a meeting with your professor or an NYU administrator (such as an OISS advisor)
arrive within 5 minutes of the time you agreed to meet.
There is more flexibility in social life, especially w ith the challenges of transportation in a densely populated area such as New York/New Jersey. Some
invitations are based on a set start time such as dinner being served, a movie or play beginning, and people are expected to arrive within 10 minutes
of the specified time.
Invitations to a party or gallery opening are more casual. To such events Americans often arrive "fashionably late," up to an hour after the event has
started. When in doubt, ask the person who is issuing the invitation in order to avoid confusion or hurt feelings.

Materialism
Success in the U.S. is often marked by the amount of money or the quantity of material goods a perso n is able to accumulate. If a person accumulated money
and goods by means of hard work, cleverness, and persistence, s/he is admired. Some foreigners see this as a lack of appreciation for the spiritual or human
things in life. Others recognize it as a way of assuring a comparatively high standard of living. Not only is the amount or w orth of the material items valued,
but there is often a priority on obtaining the latest version. The United States is a culture that tends to view change as good, as an improvement.

Examples of this include:

purchasing a new car, not because the old one is in disrepair, but in order to have the latest model
the constant "upgrade" of electronic equipment.
the vast array of even "basic" products such as aspirin, paper towels, or bread

Other U.S. values you are likely to encounter include:

Control of Nature and the Environment

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Americans usually think of nature as something that can be altered, conquered, and controlled for pe ople's comfort and use and in order to minimize the
effects of fierce weather conditions. In contrast, many cultures accept nature as something they can change or control.

Progress and Change

Most people in this country accept change as an inevitable part of life. Americans are inclined to make decisions based on the anticipated or desired future,
and they tend to view change and material progress as good and desirable.

Moralistic Orientation
Americans tend to have a missionary spirit to win other people over to their way of thinking and are likely to judge other societies in terms of the United
States. Americans often think that other countries should use their example and adopt their ways of doing things. Other cultures are often evaluated as
better or worse than this one rather than simply being seen as different. Americans tend to think that theirs is the best w ay to do things, in spite of many
serious social and environmental problems in this country.

Doing Rather Than Being

Americans consider activity to be a good thing; thus reflected in expressions such as "keeping busy" "getting things done " "on the move." Rather than simply
getting together with friends to spend time together, Americans w ill frequently plan an activity - a ny activity - and will tend not to get together without some
focus to the time spent with friends. People in other cultures often comment on this emphasis on "do ing" rather than being.

Egalitarianism
Although there are many differences in social, economic, and educational levels in the United States, there is a theme of equality that runs through social
relationships. In part because Americans do not accept a fixed position in society and believe that they can achieve and succeed in life, they tend not to
recognize social differences in dealing with other people. There is generally an attempt in the U.S. to equalize the relationship betw een two people and to
avoid calling attention to rank and authority as a way of exercising power over someone. People in U.S. society are seen as having equal rights, equal social
obligations and equal opportunities to develop their ow n potential, even though in reality things are not alw ays so equal.

Role of Women
There is a strong feminist movement in the United States that aims to insure that w omen have responsibilities and opportunities equal to those of men.
Although there are still many aspects of society in which women have not yet achieved this equality, women play a fairly public and visible role in this country
and have more responsibility and authority than in many other countries. At the same time, some people may find that American society is more sexist than
their ow n in certain respects.

Examples of the role of women:

Many women hold positions of leadership, w hether at the national level in elected and appointed positions or here at NYU where women not only direct
offices and academic programs, but also serve as deans and vice presidents.
More and more w omen in the U.S. w ork outside the home, even if they are married. Based on the most recent U.S. census, almost 60% of U.S. women
are in the w ork force. It should also be noted, how ever, that women on average still earn less than men, approximately $0.73 for every $1.00 a man
earns.
Fields and professions that were unwelcoming to women in the past have seen remarkable growth of women in their ranks, including areas such as
medicine, police, law, and engineering.

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