Common People-Management Problems

Quick, What Do I Do?
SM series
Volume 1
“I’m Supposed to Supervise

These People!”
First Aid for Common People-Management Problems
Emily A. Sterrett, Ph.D.

www.quickwhatdoIdo.com ~ emily@perfworks.com
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Table of Contents
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1) I have to conduct an important meeting.

2) I’ve got to interview somebody.
3) I’m supposed to be in charge of a big project.
4) I need to make a really good decision.
5) I’ve got so many deadlines and time pressures.
6) I may need to let somebody go, and I’m not sure how to do it.
7) I’ve got to do employee performance reviews, and I don’t know how.
8) I may need some help with one part of my job, but I’m afraid to admit it.
9) I’ve got to make a presentation to the ‘big wigs.’
10) I know I need to delegate, but how?
11) One of my people is late all the time.
12) I’ve got two people fighting all the time.
13) I think two of my people are romantically involved.
14) I have an employee who I think is being unethical.
15) I’ve got an employee who tries hard and just can’t do the job.
16) I have to supervise somebody I don’t like.
17) One of the people I’m supervising is my best friend.
18) I’ve got an employee who just won’t do the work.
19) I’ve got someone who is negative all the time.
20) I’ve got a lazy employee who isn’t motivated at all.
21) How closely should I be checking up on my people?
22) We’re not much of a team…and we need to be.
23) My people just will not accept any kind of change.
24) There’s too much goofing off around here.
25) I don’t know what to say when they tell me their personal problems.
26) My people are all complainers.
27) I’m supervising people who can’t speak English.
28) I’ve got too many young kids working for me.
29) Every time I turn my back they stop working.
30) I’ve got problems with the boss.
31) How do I handle all the gossiping and rumors?
32) I have a bad temper I need to control.

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Emily A. Sterrett
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_____________________________________________________
What’s This Book All About, Anyway?

_____________________________________________________
When a person sustains an injury, a challenge to their body, we administer first aid
while we are taking them to the hospital. At the hospital they will get professional care.
The answers in this book are like first aid for common supervision problems. They
won’t substitute for professional care, i.e., training and business coaching, but they
provide ideas for what to do first. If you follow these tips, like first aid, they may “save
your life” as a supervisor or manager when you are in a pinch. They are guaranteed to
reduce your stress level and help you feel more confident in your management role.
Having a title—assistant manager, team leader, department supervisor—can make you

feel really proud. Doing the job associated with that title is tough, though! Most
companies promote you or hire you to supervise because you are good at doing the
kind of work you are now supervising or because you had been around for a long time,
so it was your turn. Unfortunately, relatively few organizations offer you much in the
way of training for your management role.
You have probably discovered that supervising the job and performing that job yourself
are two entirely different things! You have been doing the best you can; sometimes
what you do works and sometimes it doesn’t. Learning by trial and error like this can
be a long and frustrating road. You don’t have to learn your leadership skills the hard
way. There are simple things you can learn and put into practice right now—today!—to
help you through some of your toughest challenges. That’s why this book was
written—to serve as a straightforward reference guide for those times when you just
don’t know what to do. All that’s needed from you is an open attitude and willingness
to try some new things.
This book is written from a supervisor’s perspective. It’s presented as a series of

“challenges” you face. This book is not what your boss thinks you need to know or
what some college professor thinks managers should do. It’s filled with the things
YOU—the team leader, supervisor, or manager—know you need to know. It
addresses the people issues you don’t know how to handle very well—situations that
come up regularly. This book is not meant to replace good, solid leadership training,
coaching, or mentoring. Take advantage of all opportunities you have for things like
that to build your knowledge, skills, and confidence. But if you have limited
opportunities to get good training, this book can be your life preserver in a sea of
impossible decisions, little cooperation, few resources, and lots of pressure. Use it as
your reference book.
The truth is, despite the title of this series, being a good supervisor or manager (in
other words, being a true leader) is never a “quick” process. It takes a long-term
commitment to improving your knowledge and skills, and that can potentially take your
whole working life. What is quick about this is that you can begin this process right
away—with your very next shift on the job. Have you been feeling stressed out? Have
you been feeling hopeless about your job? Keep reading. This book has the
answers you can use right away.
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Challenge 1. “I have to conduct an important meeting.”

____________________________________________________________________
You might be tempted to:
o Get somebody to take your place and avoid chairing the meeting at all costs.
o Be totally casual about it and just wing it on meeting day.
You might be tempted…but don’t you do it! Leading a productive and organized
meeting is one of the most important things you can do to get the recognition and
respect that will build your career. Here’s how to lead a good one.
~~~~~~~~~~
There is more to a meeting than just the time you spend sitting in a room talking with
other people. There is work to be done both before and after the meeting if you want
to make it a complete success. Begin your work by deciding the purpose of your
meeting and what should be accomplished at the end of it. If you don’t have a clear
idea why you are meeting and what you want to achieve, then everyone will be
frustrated, and you will look disorganized. Is your purpose to share information,
brainstorm, solve a problem, make a decision, hear progress reports, assign
workloads, or what exactly?
You will also need to consider how much meeting time you need to accomplish your
purpose. Be realistic about this, and plan to use the minimum time you can get by
with. Select a date by checking with key people who need to be involved to find a
convenient day and time. Locate a place to have your meeting, and reserve the
room. Notify everyone who should attend as soon as practical – a week or two
ahead, perhaps more in some cases, is a good idea; if your situation is urgent you will
need to meet right away. When you notify them, let them know exactly what the
purpose is and how long the meeting will take.
Now that you have planned the basics, it’s time to plan your agenda. A good agenda
is simply an ordered listing of the items you will cover. This doesn’t have to include
every detail. Make a general list of items to be included; then list critical ones first so
you will have time for those if you get behind in the meeting. Who will present these
items? Will you do it? Will others present certain things? Make sure whoever is
scheduled to present knows what is expected of them and how much time they have
for their remarks. If you are making the presentation yourself in addition to chairing
the meeting, Challenge 9 on making presentations may be helpful.
One or two days before your meeting send an e-mail reminder to everyone with the
meeting purpose, time, and place. It’s a good idea to attach a copy of your agenda
so people can be prepared with needed information when they arrive. It also makes
you look good—like you are organized and that you mean business. Be sure that
anyone who has needed information will be in attendance or will provide ahead of
time what you need from them.
On the day of your meeting, arrive a few minutes ahead of the meeting time to be
sure the room is arranged the way you want it to be. Do not plan to wait until
everyone gets there before you begin your meeting. Begin on time or within 2-3
minutes of the published start time. This, again, shows your good leadership skills
and shows respect for the people who did arrive on time. Plan to have someone else
take notes so you can concentrate on leading the meeting. Notes should not be too
detailed. They should include a brief summary of information presented or progress
on projects, decisions made or actions taken, and assignments made. You should
also include who was present.
If the purpose of your meeting is to give information, such as informing your team of
some management actions or policy, you should be prepared with good notes to
speak from. Visuals—such as handouts, whiteboard diagrams, or electronic slides
may help you get your point across—but may be completely unnecessary in informal
meetings. Allow time for questions and relevant, focused discussion of your agenda
items. Keep people focused on the item under consideration so discussion does not
wander into unrelated territory.
If the purpose of your meeting is to involve your group in some kind of idea exchange,
such as solving a complex problem, then you should plan to introduce the issue or
the purpose of the meeting. After the introduction, let others do most of the talking.
In a case like this, you are not supposed to have all the answers. You should,
instead, be prepared to ask some challenging, open-ended questions about your
topic. Don’t tell them your opinion right away but instead listen carefully for awhile so
you can open your own thinking to the possibilities and ultimately make a better
decision.
If people get side-tracked into other issues, it’s your responsibility to keep them
focused on the issue at hand, so politely remind them of the topic. If you have people
who have not contributed during a meeting like this where you are developing ideas,
then you should ask them, by name, if they would like to voice their opinion or ask
any questions.
A cardinal rule of running a good meeting is to stick to the time you asked for and
don’t run overtime. A good strategy for keeping meetings short is to schedule them
for 11:00 or 11:30 a.m. By noon most people are starting to get hungry and anxious
to finish up, so they will be brief. If it’s clear that the business is taking longer than
you expected or one item was not fully discussed, decide before you adjourn if you
need to schedule another meeting, and if so, when. Do a quick verbal recap of what
was decided and who will need to take the actions that were agreed upon. Thank
people for their contributions. Pat yourself on the back for doing a good job with your
big meeting!
The one chairing the meeting nearly always has “homework,” so be sure you
complete yours. As follow-up, make sure the meeting summary gets distributed.

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Work to complete any actions you agreed to take, and check with others who agreed
to complete certain items. If people agree in a meeting that they will do something,
they need to be held accountable for that action. If you fail to be sure that the
promised or assigned actions are taken, you have wasted much of your time in
conducting the meeting. People are more likely to follow through if they know you will
definitely check back with them. Being thorough with meetings shows your good
leadership ability and builds your own confidence.
********
Karen was excited about her new job as the customer service manager at the
wireless division of a regional telecommunications company. Karen had only been in
her new job just over a month. She had been a customer service supervisor for a
manufacturer before that. Things at her previous job were pretty informal; she knew
each of her seven workers well. In her new job she was responsible for 30 full-time
and 5 part-time workers. The culture was much more formal and less of a family. In
her one month on the job so far, she had spent most of her time being trained in her
role, observing her workers, and learning the wireless business, which was pretty
complex. She had also met with each one of her 35 people individually and gotten
their opinions on what was working well and what could be improved in their
department.
Now it was time for Karen to meet with her group and report her findings. This would
be tricky and would have to occur in two groups so they could maintain a minimum
level of phone service for incoming calls. In Karen’s former job she had “learned”
about conducting meetings from her Sales and Customer Service Manager, her old
boss. This man had been terrible at meetings. He was so disorganized and unclear
that most of his meetings were a waste of time. Karen knew what she did not want to
do in her own meetings. She also knew she wanted to make a good impression on
the group for her first big meeting.
She had read some material on conducting a good meeting. She knew her purpose
was to inform her employees and solicit ideas for how to fix things. She started out
by listing her specific purpose: to summarize for her staff her findings on what they
had told her was working in the department and what still needed improvement.
Karen reviewed the notes and listed four points that most people seemed to think
were working. There were many small things that were mentioned by most people
that were not working but she selected seven things that had been mentioned by the
majority of people in one form or another, two of which seemed pressing because
people had complained so vigorously.
She had looked at her schedule and found that by holding two meetings next week,
she would be able to include all but three part-time workers, if she could have the
meetings on Thursday afternoon and Friday morning. She called the receptionist to
schedule a room for the meeting, according to in-house procedures. Karen sent out
an email notice to her workers right away to tell them who would be attending which
meeting, the purpose of the meeting, and the location. She had several ideas for how

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to address the two pressing problems—scheduling inequities and training on new
products. She continued to refine her notes in preparation for her meeting as she
had time.
When Thursday came, Karen was nervous but felt really prepared for her meeting.
She met with her first 17 people in the conference room and gave them a copy of her
summary of her interviews. She thanked them for their honesty with her and told
them she was committed to doing something about their most urgent needs right
away. Like a good meeting chairperson, Karen stuck to her notes as she
summarized her findings. After mentioning the two items that seemed to be most
pressing, she asked the group for their collective ideas on how to tackle each one.
She wanted to open the floor for suggestions before she told them what her own
ideas were, for fear of shutting down discussion if she began by telling them what she
thought.
At first everyone seemed hesitant to speak up. It was apparent they were not used to
being asked for their opinions. Karen had a moment of panic that she was bombing,
but she made herself be patient and wait for someone to speak up. Finally, one
person did, and that unleashed a floodgate of discussion. Karen listened closely and
took careful notes. She got some great ideas, and at the end everyone seemed
hopeful. She thanked them all for their participation and assured them that she would
begin to gradually tackle these problems and things would improve. She said she
would need some time, and she asked for their support in the meantime.
Karen thought she had done a good job with the meeting. She was especially
gratified when one of her workers who had been there for several years told her she
thought it was a good meeting and most people were starting to have faith in her.
That meant a lot! Karen looked forward eagerly to the second meeting with the rest
of her staff.
Points to remember:
1) Plan the purpose and agenda of your meeting ahead of time.

2) Send reminders to everyone that needs to be present.
3) Keep participants on track, and stick to your allotted time.
4) Follow up with brief minutes, including decisions made and actions to be
completed by participants.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 2. “I’ve got to interview somebody.”

____________________________________________________________________
o Panic and try to hand the task over to someone else.

o Treat it casually and do it “by the seat of the pants.”
Don’t do either of these things. Treat this like the important task that it is. Here is
what you should do.
~~~~~~~~~~
If you are inexperienced at interviewing, it’s normal to feel a little nervous. (You may
not have realized that it’s often not just the applicant who is nervous!) Interviewing is
an important duty, and if you are given the opportunity to select the next member of
your own team, rather than taking the person somebody else thought you needed, be
glad for the chance. You can learn to interview confidently. One of the secrets to
mastering interviewing is preparing for it.
Begin your preparation by asking your Human Resources Department for some
assistance. They can often provide you one-on-one coaching or loan you a good
book or video. You may even be able to attend a training seminar to learn this
important skill. Do not ever be embarrassed to ask for help with this; lack of
confidence and experience in interviewing is a common problem.
If you do not have a Human Resources Department, you will need to seek out this
information on your own. Go by the public library for a helpful current book or search
online for information on how to interview. Choose information that is recent, that is
written by an expert (check out the credentials of the author), or even information that
may have been published by a professional association like Society for Human
Resource Management or American Management Association.
The first thing you will need to consider is what kind of worker you are trying to hire. If
you have an accurate job description this is a good start; if not, make a list of major
duties the person will perform. This is only a start. You may also want to think about
the working environment and about what may have enabled others to be successful
in the past. Hiring experts generally agree that you should look not just for someone
who can perform the job duties. You should look for personal characteristics, too.
This means that as you think about your job vacancy you should consider what kind
of person you need. Do you need someone who is a good team player? Do you
need someone who goes out of their way for the customer and is especially friendly?
Are you looking for someone who is a quick learner? Someone who is just quick and
highly motivated? Someone who pays careful attention to details? In addition to
these personal qualities, look for a person whose personality and values will fit with

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your team and your company. It’s possible to hire for good fit while still valuing
diversity in experience, background, and personality. Hiring experts say selecting for
personal fit is number one—even if that person lacks somewhat in skill or experience.
In most cases, you can teach skills; it’s harder to teach somebody to be a “good
person.”
After you have made good notes on paper of what your ideal candidate would be,
you’ll need to prepare some questions. You will want your questions to be legal as
well as effective; in other words, you want each question to elicit valuable information
about the candidate, and you certainly want to stay within the law.
The “legal” part is really important, so be careful here. You may or may not be aware
that there are many kinds of information that you are prohibited by law from asking.
Volumes are written about this whole topic, so you are well-advised to stick to lists of
questions prepared by experts rather than making up your own. In a nutshell, you
must not ask any questions that even hint at eliciting information such as:
Age, race, gender, religion, national origin, or disability (with this last one you
can ask if they can perform the essential functions of the job).
If you are trying to be friendly and put the applicant at ease, you can get yourself in
trouble if you are not careful. For example, if you ask the person about their family or
where they are from, just to make friendly conversation, this is dangerous ground. It
may elicit some information you are not supposed to have in the hiring process. Talk
about the weather and whether they were able to miss the traffic; these are probably
safe subjects.
There are many lists of legal questions circulating out there on websites and in books.
“What are your three best strengths?” and “What do you hope to be doing in five
years?” are both examples of generic questions. While these are legal, they do not
enable you to really get to know the applicant. Use a couple of these if you need to,
but the very best questions will be those that are specific to your organization, your
department, and your job.
Behavioral interview questions and situational interview questions are both legal and
highly effective. A behavioral interview question goes something like this: Let’s say
you have determined that “teamwork” is one of the qualities you are looking for, then
you ask each applicant, “Tell me about a time that you were involved in teamwork,
what your role was, and how the team functioned.” The applicant will talk about their
experiences, and at the same time you are able to assess their values and their
personality by what they emphasize.
Situational questions are when you describe in your question a typical kind of
situation the applicant could expect to face on your job if hired and ask them how they
would handle it. For example: “We sometimes get very irate or difficult customers
who call us. What would you say or do if you got such a call?”

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Consider how you will decide who gets interviewed. Will you interview all that apply?
Does someone else screen the applications and give you the best ones to call for
interviews? Do you have to look through all the applications or resumes yourself and
pick out the best? If the latter, you will need to read carefully and sort applications
into stacks: A = best candidates (these are the ones that best match what you know
you are looking for); B = pretty good—may be suitable (these aren’t quite as close as
the first group but they could probably do the job); and C = don’t meet the minimum
requirements. Don’t interview your “C” candidates. Depending on how many A’s you
have, you will need to decide whether you will interview some or all of your B’s. You
want to have a little bit of choice to select from. “B” candidates often turn out to be
quite impressive when you meet them in person.
You need to treat all applicants the same—that is, treat them with respect. They are
the ones looking for a job, it’s true, but the good ones—the ones you may truly want
to hire—will be checking you and your company out pretty closely, too. You will have
to make a good impression on them, as you should try to do with all applicants. Be
careful not to come across arrogant, unprepared, or patronizing. Always be polite
and listen with interest to the answers each person gives.
Once you have drafted some questions ask your Human Resources Department or
your own manager to look them over, if possible, to be sure they are good ones.
Once you have prepared a good set of questions you may want to practice the
interview if you are a beginner. Ask a friend, your spouse, or a trusted co-worker to
role-play the part of the applicant, and go through your questions. This kind of
preparation will make you much more confident when doing the actual interview.
Ask all applicants the same base questions—as you have prepared them. It is
perfectly acceptable and even sensible to build on your base questions by asking
individualized follow-up questions for clarification of their answers. If you stick with
the same base questions, you will more easily be able to compare answers given by
each candidate.
When the interview time arrives, conduct your interview in a room that is quiet and
private. Be pleasant and welcoming to put your applicant at ease. Proceed through
your questions with them, as you had planned. Make a few notes but do not write
down every word. You need to make eye-contact with the applicant whenever
possible. You are representing your company now, and you want to make a good
impression on the applicant. You will want them to be convinced that they want to
work for you, just as they will want to convince you why they are right for the job.
When you have finished your questions, offer the candidate a chance to ask you a
few questions. Be cordial when they leave and tell them what they can expect next.
(“We’re interviewing this week and plan to make our decision by the end of next
week” or whatever.) While their answers are still fresh in your mind you may want to
make a few more notes and complete a rating scale to give you a rough gauge of
their answer to each of your questions. Rate them 1-5 on each question you asked
and assign an overall rating. This will help you later as you compare candidates or as

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you discuss the applicants with others who may also have interviewed them, such as
your HR representative.
Most of the time you will not have an “ideal” candidate. Usually one person will have
one skill or advantage that another does not have, while the other top person has a
different set of skills or characteristics that impressed you. Get feedback from others,
if you can, in order to make your decision. It’s even a good idea for the candidates to
be interviewed by more than just you. Is there someone else who can sit in the
interview with you? Or is there someone else who can interview the person right
before or after you do so? Having multiple perspectives on this decision can be
helpful in picking the best-suited person.
Even if the others have not interviewed your candidates, they may be able to help you
“talk it out” to determine who is best suited. Make your selection after careful
consideration, and then stick with it. Make the offer through your organization’s
proper channels. Select your candidate with a positive belief that he/she will be a
great employee. In most cases, that is exactly what will happen.
Be courteous to the other applicants who were not selected. Notify them with a letter,
and thank them for their interest. They deserve to know and will appreciate it.
Remember that they might be a potential customer or potential future employee for
your organization. Treat them that way.
********
Home Accents was a home furnishing store with five retail branches in western
Canada. Jessica, the new floor manager for the newest location, had just lost one
sales clerk and knew that another one was looking for a job. She had already
advertised for replacements, and would have to begin interviewing in a few days. But
she did not really know how to do that. She had interviewed people two times
previously and each time she was as nervous as her applicants, and she just knew
she had botched it.
While she hated to admit her weakness, Jessica hated the idea of another bad
interview even more. She decided to call the home office for help. The personnel
coordinator, Russ, was a man she knew only slightly, but she did not know where
else to turn. Russ was actually very pleasant and told her that’s what he was there
for. He spent a lot of time on the phone with her, training her and offering pointers for
a successful interview. Russ sent her a couple of reference guides he had in
electronic format, and he explained them while on the phone with her. One of them
included questions not to ask in an interview in order for the interview to be legally
correct. A second reference guide was a list of suggested interview questions. He
advised her to take a few notes on each applicant, and then try to use a rating scale
to evaluate how appropriate she thought they would be.
After talking with Russ, Jessica felt much better. Russ had said he would critique her
interview questions if she wanted to send them to him, so she worked on that,
choosing questions from the list he recommended and adding one of her own that

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she thought might be good. She emailed those to Russ. He responded right away
with a few suggestions, and some encouraging words: “You are well-prepared,
Jessica. I know you can do it. Believe in yourself, and you will do fine.” Good
advice, she decided.
Jessica interviewed a total of five people over the next three days. She was nervous
at first, but each one seemed to get easier as she built up her confidence in her ability
to interview. She followed Russ’ advice and made her selection. She called and
offered the job to the one she thought was best, and they agreed on a starting date.
The next week Russ called her to find out how it went. “I guess I should have gotten
back to you. I’m sorry that I let myself get busy. Everything you helped me with really
saved me. I’ve got a good person selected who will be starting tomorrow. I hope I’ve
chosen the right one. At least the interviewing part seemed to go much better.”
“Excellent,” said Russ. “Call me again if you need anything, I mean it. If you think of
it sometime, drop me a line and tell me how your new employee is working out. We
never know for sure we have selected the right person, but with experience you will
probably get better at knowing what to look for. Good luck.”
“Thanks for everything, Russ,” said Jessica. She laughed and added, “I’ve got
another employee looking for work, so I will probably get to try my interviewing skills
again real soon.”
Points to remember:
1) Carefully list qualities and qualifications you are looking for.

2) Compose and practice your good interview questions.
3) Rate the answers given by each applicant to the questions asked.
4) Treat all those you interview politely and with respect.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 3. “I’m supposed to be in charge of a big project.”

____________________________________________________________________
o Hand the job over to somebody else and stay in the background.
o Go in with all decisions made and just tell everybody what to do, so you
appear organized and can get on with it.
You might be tempted, but don’t do it this way. Instead, do it as follows.
~~~~~~~~~~
If you are asked to chair a committee, it’s because somebody thought you were good.
You have some talent, knowledge, and experience that are valuable. Even if you
think you don’t have time for yet another project, consider this a compliment.
Remember that every time you have the opportunity to take a leadership role, you
have a great chance to learn and to show others just how competent you are. And
that always looks good for raises and promotions. If you take on your committee
challenge with a positive and grateful attitude, you will gain experience, contacts, and
visibility.
If this is a newly-forming committee, you may have some choice in selecting

committee members. When you have a choice be sure to pick people with a wide
variety of talents and viewpoints. If you pick your best buddies or only people who
have the same skill set as your own, you are handicapping the committee.
It’s also wise to be sure you have representation from the full range of people or
areas that need to be involved. Consider all those who may be touched by your
project, and get a representative from each area if you can. You will also want to be
sure you have a subject-matter expert on the committee to give the group a more
thorough understanding of the process or topic you are working on. Ultimately, your
project’s acceptance and implementation will be more accepted when those affected
have been involved all along.
To fulfill its purpose a committee should be composed of diverse ideas, talents, and
backgrounds. This leads to better results, even if it also leads to more heated
discussions and conflict. Conflict can be a healthy thing. If you are taking over an
ongoing committee or if you have no choice about the membership, you can still work
within these bounds if you go into it with a positive attitude and as much confidence
as you can muster. If, in your view, some key people or groups have been left out,
you may be in a position to recommend they be added.
Set your first meeting time and notify the participants. Go to your first meeting with a
general plan or agenda but also with an open mind. Don’t decide all the issues

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before you get there. You need to approach your first meeting with a “what do you
think” mentality.
The reason you have a committee rather than just having one person make decisions
is that multiple heads are better than one. Several people can also break up a big
project into manageable tasks without being too much burden on just one or two.
People resent having someone come in and tell them what to do.
Begin your meeting on time or within a couple of minutes of the starting time. Don’t
wait for stragglers. It is inconsiderate to those people who are on time if you begin
late. If people are late, they will learn to arrive on time.
Whether this is a new group or an ongoing group with a new chairperson, one of the
first things you should do is discuss what your purpose as a committee really is. If the
group has been going on awhile, a change in leadership is a good time to remind
people why they are all there and to realign everyone’s goals. Get each person to
write their thoughts down without signing them and read these aloud. Come to some
kind of common statement of purpose for your work that you can all believe in and
support.
Discuss who you are accountable to and how you will let them know your progress.
How long do you have to complete your assigned work? How will you know when
you have succeeded? Spend time in your first meeting looking at the end result that
you intend to accomplish before you talk about how you will accomplish it and who
will do what.
Review the “meeting rules.” How often will you need to meet? Are cell phones and
pagers allowed in the meetings? How will decisions be made? By majority vote? By
consensus? (Consensus means everyone can live with this decision, even though it
may not have been the first choice for some of them.) Make sure you give everyone
a chance to participate. Get everyone’s opinion on why they are on the committee
and what they can help with. For those who are quiet, you may need to specifically
ask them by name for their ideas. Elect someone to take notes or adopt a rotating
system. You may wish to have someone who is responsible for timekeeping also;
this person can help you keep the group on track to pace yourself so you can cover
the agenda. Just because you are in charge of the project does not mean you have
to conduct every meeting.
The first meeting may be devoted to simply getting yourself organized. If you get no
further than building a framework for further work together, you have accomplished a
great deal. Assign them “homework” of thinking about what steps need to be taken to
achieve your purpose or complete your project as you have defined it together.
At least by the second meeting you should be able to prepare an agenda that focuses
on having the group discuss steps or actions that need to be completed. You may be
able to brainstorm ideas or consider various perspectives in your discussion. Allow
discussion to flow; if people get completely off the subject, remind them to focus on
the topic. When the group has decided on the actions that need to be taken next, get

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people to volunteer to complete those tasks and get a verbal commitment to a
completion date. If you are responsible for the committee’s work, let them know you’ll
be checking in with them on how they are doing.
Prepare a calendar or a spreadsheet for yourself with names, tasks, and dates. It’s a
good idea to also check with the person who’s responsible for an action ahead of the
due date for that item. It often helps them if you send an email reminder or give a
quick call to see how they are progressing on their action items.
Be sure you always have a date and time for your next meeting before you end your
current meeting. Set an ending time for your meetings as well as a start time. Then
stick to your ending time. You get more accomplished when you know your time is
limited, and people admire and appreciate a chairperson who is organized.
With a task force or project committee, one person’s work is often dependent on work
completed by another person. If you are having trouble getting the work out of one
person, sit down with them and have a frank discussion. Find out why they are
dragging their feet. If they can’t complete the work, discuss whether to ask another
committee member to take over. If you are getting pressure to get this committee to
produce, consider whether you need to replace the reluctant member.
In your meetings, make sure you publicly thank those who accomplish their agreed
actions. Be sure to hold everyone accountable for their work. As you get into the
business of your committee, your meetings will normally have one of two purposes:
1) to report progress or status of various items and bring everyone up to date—this
way there are fewer uncertainties; 2) to openly discuss ideas or problem-solve for
solutions when barriers have been encountered. You may wish to alternate the
purpose of your meetings between the two types or simply have a set length of time
in each meeting for both of these functions.
Being a good project manager simply means that you keep yourself organized and
stay on top of the various activities and completion dates. You need to do this
without micromanaging the people—let them do their assigned tasks their way.
Review Challenge 10 on delegating work. Conduct productive meetings by planning
ahead to know what you want to accomplish; then proceed to accomplish it within the
meeting. See Challenge 1 on conducting an effective meeting for additional tips. If
you conduct your meetings in an organized fashion and follow up appropriately on all
activities, you will accomplish your purpose; and you will even enjoy the process.
At the end, it’s usually helpful to have an organized debriefing of how the project
went. If some members of your management can attend this meeting, this is often
helpful, too. Ask everyone present for their input on what went well and what could
have been changed or improved to make things go even smoother next time.
Then, when all is said and done, celebrate your group’s accomplishment of
successfully completing your project! A celebration is not the time to solicit
complaints; save that for your debriefing meeting. Depending on the duration and
importance of the project, coke and popcorn and an hour of socializing may be

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sufficient. Or for a larger project, consider taking them out to eat or having a catered
meal. Make some positive comments about the group’s accomplishments and
publicly thank them for their hard work. Invite key managers to join you to also offer
their thanks. People will appreciate the celebration and appreciate you as the project
manager for recognizing their hard work.
********
Jody was the office manager in the county treasurer’s office. She had served on the
United Way campaign committee last year. It was a lot of work but she enjoyed it.
This year her boss and the local UW campaign director had come to her and asked
her to be chairman for the county employees’ campaign. Jody was flattered by being
asked, but she was concerned that she had never been in charge of a committee or a
project like this. Oh, she had run some informal meetings with her four staff members
and chaired a couple of small committees at church. But she had never been in
charge of such a big project or chaired a big committee composed partly of people
she didn’t know. Her boss agreed that if she would do it, he would help her get
organized and get started.
Jody got out her notes from last year. Her boss helped her lay out what had to be
done by when. She made up a chart that listed what kinds of things had to be done
by when. The boss helped her to consider the make-up of the committee and draft a
letter to prospective volunteers. Jody felt a little more confident as she got into it.
She spoke to her committee members on the phone and welcomed each one.
She set the first meeting date and time and prepared a basic agenda. She prepared
copies of her chart of what had to be done by when. She was a little nervous about
this first meeting, but she was confident that she had prepared well and she kept
telling herself that it would go just fine.
She began the meeting with having everyone introduce themselves since they were
from different offices in the county and not everyone knew each other. They
reviewed why they were there and briefly talked about their successes in the last few
years. Then they all reviewed Jody’s timeline of activities and made a few
modifications, based on the discussion. She then opened up the floor for discussion
of the specific projects or activities they would use to create awareness and interest
and get people to give. She had allowed an hour and 15 minutes for this first
meeting, and it was quickly over. But before everyone left, Jody quickly reviewed
what each person would be working on, what they would have to decide at the next
meeting and when the next meeting would be held—one week from today.
At each weekly meeting, Jody held people accountable. By the end of the four-month
project, they had done slightly better than last year. Jody was very proud of what she
had done, and she readily admitted that she could not have done it without her great
committee. When the campaign was over, Jody held a final meeting at which time
they spent thirty minutes making suggestions and notes for next year. Then, they
brought out the ice cream and everyone made their own ice cream sundaes. They
got to celebrate and enjoy each other’s company for the last thirty minutes. At her

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boss’ suggestion, Jody also arranged for the county administrator and several
department heads to join them for the celebration. The group received many
compliments on their work, and Jody even got applause.
Points to remember:
1) Plan carefully who will be on your committee – be inclusive.

2) Spend first meeting getting organized and reviewing your purpose and goals.
3) Assign activities and completion dates.
4) Follow up with people to remind them of their task and hear about their
progress.
5) Celebrate successful project completion.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 4. “I need to make a big decision.”

____________________________________________________________________
o Keep putting it off, because no matter what you decide somebody’s not going
to like it.
o Make your decision and let them know in no uncertain terms so people get the
idea who’s boss.
o Make a quick decision because of pressure you feel to get on with it.
Don’t follow temptation and make an important decision like any of the above. Here’s
what to do instead:
~~~~~~~~~~
Avoiding a decision simply allows things to get worse, and making a heavy-handed or
emotional decision often takes you in the wrong direction and may back you in a
corner.
The first thing to do is to clearly define the question or clarify the issue. That means
write it down as a question in words that make sense to you instead of a jumble of
uncertainty spinning around in your head. That’s right—write it down! Just defining
the problem in specific words may bring some clarity about the decision; if not it
certainly brings you one step closer to an answer.
Generally, try to write the question in its broadest form. Rather than “Which new
software –sharing package do we need?” think in terms of whether software is even
the solution and write your question like this, “What are the possible solutions to our
problem of data sharing between departments?” Write the question or issue in a way
that opens up your answers, not closes off possibilities. Here’s another example:
“What can I do about Pat?” is a better question than asking “How can I get rid of
Pat?” The first wording of the question opens up possibilities whereas the second
wording suggests that you already have made a decision; it’s just a matter of when
and how.
If you are looking at a choice between “Do I do this?” or “Do I do that?” you should try
to think whether there is a third possibility or a fourth. Rather than making your
decision more complicated, you may find you can combine the best features of all
your alternatives into one intelligent solution.
Whenever possible, let your team participate in making a decision with you.
Especially if it is something that is going to affect people on the job, they should have
some information ahead of time and be allowed to have input in the decision. You
may not let them make the final decision for you or even vote on their preference, but

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it will help if you get their ideas. You not only get a better solution or decision when
you have many heads considering the problem, you also get better buy-in when it
comes time to implement any changes. There will probably be times, however, when
you have to make a decision on your own because it’s not advisable to tell others or
you are prohibited from doing so.
You can brainstorm possible answers to your question. Brainstorming works better
with a group but if you have to, do it with a partner or even alone. Again, write down
all ideas—on paper, on your computer, on a whiteboard. Write down as many ideas
as you can think of that might remotely solve your problem. Don’t say “Oh, that will
never work,” and leave it off the list. Write down every single thing you can think of at
this stage.
Once you have your list of ideas start going through each one and thinking of the pros
and cons of each. What good could come if you choose each of your alternatives
and what possible negatives might occur? Your brainstorming partner can help with
this analysis and evaluation. You can now begin to eliminate the choices that just
don’t seem feasible. Narrow it down to the idea that is probably the best choice,
based on your criteria or your evaluation. Don’t be afraid to make a preliminary
commitment to a solution. It’s just temporary right now while you try it on in your
head. You are not locked into this decision; just trust yourself that you have done
your best for now.
Before you pick this alternative as the final answer or solution that you will implement,
let it sit for a day or even several days—unless your situation is truly urgent. During
those days of taking a break from the decision, set it aside completely. Allow yourself
to sleep on it overnight. Make yourself let it go completely for a minimum of 24 hours,
and every time your mind wanders back to your problem, make yourself think about
something else instead.
The reason to get away from it is so your intuition or “gut feeling” can begin to
operate. You let your logical mind operate when you brainstormed, analyzed
possibilities, and selected a tentative solution. Now it’s time to let the other side of
your brain work, too. In order for intuition to become clear you have to allow
incubation time. That’s why you put it away for a short period of time.
Go back to your preliminary decision after a day or two. Most of the time your logic
and your “gut feeling” will both join forces and tell you the same thing. If intuition is
telling you one thing and logic something else, go with whichever is normally
strongest for you, although most people will admit that their gut feeling is seldom
wrong.
If you use a careful process like this, then being committed and unwavering in your
decision is much easier. Take a deep breath and state out loud and with confidence
what your decision is. You have made a good decision, so stick with it! We can
never be completely certain of the outcome in any situation, but the more committed
you are to your decision, the more likely your decision will turn out as you want it to.
Speak your decision, tell it to others, and act on it immediately, even with a small

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action in your chosen direction. If you start second guessing yourself, think about or
do something else entirely.
Recommit yourself to your decision daily and move confidently toward it. Give your
solution some time; give it a fair chance to work. You want to remain as flexible as
possible in case new information indicates your solution needs a little modification;
small adjustments are often needed. But do not change your decision completely
unless and until there is clear evidence that your alternative is not working. If this
occurs, begin your brainstorming process all over again with the new information you
have received. Proceed confidently that you will be able to make the adjustments
that will enable everything to work out this time.
********
Roy was facing a tough decision. As a small business owner, he had watched his
electrical contracting business grow. He had started out with only one employee
seven years ago, and now he had ten…and that was his dilemma. Business had
taken a downhill turn during the recent slump in the building industry, and he simply
could not afford to keep all his people on the payroll any longer. He hoped to weather
the slump by laying off only one person. He was torn and did not really want to lay off
anybody. But reality was reality, so who should it be?
Roy knew that a company probably “should” lay off the person who was hired last.
But Josh, his last hire, was a real find—a great electrician with just the kind of
experience that Roy had been looking for. Roy had two other possibilities. He could
lay off his office manager, Carolyn, and have his parts manager cover the phones
and walk-in traffic, too. Eddie, the parts manager, would complain bitterly about that.
Eddie worked pretty hard, but he made sure everybody knew it. Carolyn was such a
good worker, and he’d hate to lose her. Letting Carolyn go would also mean that Roy
would have to take over the books again himself, like he used to do when he started
out.
He could also lay off Eddie and have one of his electrician helpers cover the
warehouse and the re-ordering of parts. Nobody knew the parts like Eddie did
though, and it would take awhile for Russell, the helper, to learn the job.
There was just no easy answer here. He really needed everybody. He was just
concerned about how to pay them until business picked up again.
When Roy talked to his wife about his dilemma that evening, she suggested he make
a list of the pros and cons of laying off Carolyn and of laying off Eddie. She also
suggested he think about another possibility: cutting back on everyone. If he cut
back everyone’s hours to 35 instead of 40, he’d save some money and still not hurt
anyone too badly. Roy wasn’t sure about that idea because that would hurt
everybody and not just one or two, but he liked the suggestion of making a list of pros
and cons of the other possibilities. So he proceeded to do just that. He pondered
and worried, and was nearly convinced that it should be Eddie he let go. Just for the
heck of it, he decided to try his wife’s suggestion that he reduce hours for everyone.

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He did some figuring about how much money this would save him and was surprised
to learn that he would save just a bit more than if he laid off Eddie.
Because he just wasn’t sure what to do, Roy decided to let the decision wait a few
days. By the end of the week they should be finished with their current big job. With
that behind them and not enough new work in sight, he knew Friday would be a good
time to make a move. Tomorrow was Wednesday, and that meant he would have a
few more days to think about his decision.
During the rest of the week Roy got pretty busy with the big commercial job he and
his crew were doing. He thought about his problem a few times, but he was honestly
too preoccupied to fret about it much. Thursday night came, and he realized hadn’t
thought about it all day. Now he really needed to decide what he was going to do.
He was beginning to believe that the best idea would be to cut back everyone by five
hours a week rather than lay off one person. Something was telling him this was the
best answer. He was sure people would complain but maybe not so much that any of
them would leave. They all knew the reality that business was slow, so they couldn’t
blame him too much.
He decided he would call a meeting for tomorrow afternoon when he gave out
paychecks. Roy went to sleep that night believing he had made the best decision
possible under the circumstances.
Points to remember:
1) Clearly write out the decision or question in words that make sense to you.
2) Brainstorm alternatives and look at pros and cons of each.
3) Narrow the field to a preliminary answer.
4) Move away from your possible answer for a few days to get in touch with your
“gut feeling.”
5) Commit to your chosen alternative and make an immediate step in that
direction.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 5. “I’ve got so many deadlines and time pressures.”

____________________________________________________________________
If it feels like you are getting more and more dumped on your plate, you may be
tempted to:
o Lose your cool and take your stress out on your employees.
o Quit your job in hopeless frustration.
Before you do something you might regret, try this.
~~~~~~~~~~
If you are overloaded, there are three important things you should do: delegate some
tasks, if at all possible (see Challenge 10 on delegating); get your manager’s help
with setting your priorities; and learn to deal with your stress effectively.
Sit down at some peaceful time off the job (It will be worth it to use one of those rare
and precious hours!) to take stock. Have a pad and a pen with you. Relax and get
yourself comfortable and make sure there will be no interruptions. If you doze off,
you’ll have to come back and try this again.
When you are comfortable, think about this question: Based on what I know about
our work priorities, which of my activities is most important or should be completed
first?” Make yourself remain calm, not tense, as you ponder this. Begin calmly
making notes on your pad. Complete this sentence. (The numbers indicate the
priority number.)
1) “I think I should be doing…___________ because…

If you fail to stay calm you will be too anxious and confused to complete this task. If
you don’t write your ideas down in some kind of order, they will continue to float
around in your head and feel overwhelming. Writing them down and beginning to
organize them helps you feel like you are regaining your control.
Once you have your ideas jotted down, you now have a plan. When you return to
work, set up an appointment with your boss to talk about your priorities for the next
few weeks or months. Explain that you need your boss’ guidance on this matter so
you can be sure you are doing what is expected.
When you meet, let the boss know that you want to do a good job with your
assignments, and you’re feeling overwhelmed right now. Tell him or her you’d like
help in prioritizing all your responsibilities. Show the boss a list of your tasks and your

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estimate of how much time and intensity of effort will be required for each. Show the
boss the list you created in your relaxation exercise. Let him or her know you have
been doing your best to manage your time and responsibilities.
The boss may be genuinely unaware of how much you have going on, either because
of his or her own high level of stress or worries or because the boss is not a highly
skilled manager. Get him or her to verbally make a commitment to you about what
your priorities should be. It’s quite likely the boss will agree with your priorities,
especially when you offer reasons. If the boss does not agree, make good notes
about what your priorities should be and why. Be sure to let your boss know your
estimates of a reasonable goal for finishing all the items on your plate.
Keep your notes from this meeting, and be sure to let your boss know ahead of time if
it looks like you won’t be able to meet your projected target dates for completion.
Bosses generally do not like surprises. By having a meeting and keeping your notes
you will be protecting yourself in case the boss or someone else from your
organization later comes back to you upset because a certain task is not completed.
You will have documentation of your assigned priorities.
The other thing you must do to better handle the pressure is to learn to manage your
stress. None of us can completely eliminate all sources of stress; all of us can learn,
however, how to handle it more effectively so it has less of a negative impact on our
physical and mental health. Try these ideas.
1) Schedule free time and family time in your planner, and work other
commitments around these important activities. Your organization, if it is like
most, would gladly take all the time on the job you are willing to give. Set
some reasonable limits.
2) Give up all optional commitments that you can. Stop saying “yes” to every
request for your time and energy. Ask yourself this question: “Could
someone else do this obligation as well as I can?” It’s not possible for
someone else to be a substitute parent or spouse/significant other. Other
than those essential priorities, be willing to let things go.
3) Exercise. Engage in your favorite kind of workout. At the least, find a time
and place that you can take a brisk walk for 30 or 40 minutes three times a
week. Put this in your planner, and do it faithfully. Consider making it a family
activity.
4) Laugh. Do something daily to make yourself laugh. A good belly laugh will
relieve a lot of tension. “Play” of some kind is a very good thing. If you have
children, play with them and be silly. If you do not, then do something playful
on your own: run, yell, dance, be a clown, watch a cartoon. Get over the idea
that it’s not “adult” to play. You need to get your mind completely away from
your job and release the pressure.
5) Find a hobby that’s fun and relaxing. Do you read? Go to movies? Collect
antiques? Garden? Fish? Make time to regularly engage in a fun, enjoyable,
non-competitive (i.e., less stressful) hobby. If you have a family, you can even
make it a family activity you can all do together.

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You may have discovered other things you can do that bring your stress level down.
Something as simple as three deep breaths will help. Stress-reducers are somewhat
individual. Whatever works for you, do it regularly. The key is to get away from the
source of your stress and get your mind on something completely different.
Don’t kid yourself that because you are working all the time, you are productive all the
time. Research clearly shows that people accomplish more work and better quality
work when they take regular breaks. If you never think about or do anything except
the job, you become less effective when you are on the job. Keep your daily work
hours reasonable, take off at least one entire day weekly, and take vacations. No
matter what! Nobody wants to work for a cranky, overworked supervisor.
And if you think they can’t get by without you, you are definitely kidding yourself. One
mark of a good manager is how long he or she can be away from the job and the
team or department function pretty well. Train your people to cover the essential
functions, and delegate work appropriately (You’ve just got to read Challenge 10!).
Take the pressure off yourself by getting some help in carrying the load.
********
Ralph was the purchasing manager for the northwest region of an electronic
assembler. He and his staff were responsible for maintaining inventory for his
company’s three assembly plants that made various makes of car audio equipment.
He had been in his job four years, and in that time his company’s sales volume had
nearly doubled. When he started he had a staff of four purchasing agents. He had
gotten up to a staff of seven, but had lost one position several months back in a
downsizing. Now his resources were really stretched, and Ralph was working long
hours. Everything seemed to operate in crisis mode. Any change in shipment and
delivery of components would cost down time in productivity; any delay was cause for
immediate scrambling to find an alternate supplier, since his company operated on a
just-in-time inventory policy and maintained only limited in-house inventory of parts.
Ralph went to see his boss, the general manager, about feeling so overworked. The
boss helped him prioritize a few of his current obligations and then basically said to
him: there’s waste in the system; find it. The boss gave him a few examples of what
he meant, but he suggested that Ralph get input from all his employees about how to
streamline the processes and become more efficient. Ralph didn’t think there was
much hope of streamlining anything, but he figured he had little to lose by presenting
the idea to his staff.
In fact, when he first brought up the idea at the meeting about how they could all
become more efficient, one of his agents spoke up immediately and offered an idea.
She said, “If we could enter into some long-term partnerships with vendors we could
probably get better rates. We could use the money we save to buy a more functional
tracking system that we could integrate with the systems of each of our vendors. As it
is now, we can only track one vendor at a time, rather than being able to compare
them side by side. If the information from vendors was all in one place, it would make
us so much more efficient.” Other people chimed in registering their agreement. This

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issue had been raised once before about entering into long-term contracts with
vendors. Ralph had just never had a chance to pursue it before so, out of habit,
things continued as they had been. Ralph felt so overwhelmed that he hated the idea
of taking on another project. He asked Sally, the agent who presented the idea, if
she would help him work on it. It was obvious he didn’t have much enthusiasm for
the idea.
Someone else on his team sensed his hesitation. “I know you are already feeling
overworked, Ralph, but we’ll all pitch in and help you if you and Sally will just look into
this. Something like this has the potential for making all our lives easier, especially
since we are so understaffed.” A couple of the others agreed. Ralph realized that
this was important, and he was just going to have to find the time to do the research
and planning necessary to make it work out. He would have to be the one to offer
proposals to the vendors.
Ralph’s staff was as good as their word, and somehow the work got done, even
though he spent four to six hours a week working on the new project. Before he
proceeded too far, Ralph consulted with the boss again and told him about his
department’s recommendation, including the new tracking software. The boss was
delighted and especially happy that they had a way to pay for it. “This is exactly what
I meant. We should have done this before, and I’m glad you are making time for it
now. You know, sometimes it’s surprising how much you can get accomplished if you
start looking at things a little differently. It’s a matter of balancing the priorities and
reshuffling what has to be done. Let me know how it’s going. I guess I’ll have to be
the one to sign any new agreements with vendors.”
Ralph and Sally continued to work on the project and in four months they had new
agreements with two vendors and two others under consideration. Ralph was feeling
more hopeful again and acknowledged to himself that he was dealing a lot better with
the stress level now.
Points to remember:
1) Develop a draft list of priorities as you see them.

2) Discuss your draft list with your manager, including how long tasks will take,
and get the boss’s direction.
3) Involve your team and delegate where possible.
4) Learn to handle your stress more effectively by taking time off and proactively
using stress reducers that work for you.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 6. “I may need to let somebody go, and I’m not sure how to do it.”
____________________________________________________________________
Your first reaction may be to:
o Say it quickly and emphatically and be done with it as soon as possible.

o Beat around the bush for fear of upsetting them.
But don’t do it like this. There are some important things you need to do before you
fire someone, so use the following approach instead.
~~~~~~~~~~
Before you do the firing, you need to be sure you have tried every possible alternative
to avoid this outcome. Because replacing someone is expensive, termination should
be a real last resort.
If you have a human resources department, you should be working closely with them
by this time. Unless the offense was particularly severe or dangerous, you are
unlikely to be firing them without a series of progressive discipline steps. Be sure you
have carefully followed these steps and kept records of everything that took place in
your meetings with the employee.
If you are in a small company and neither you nor anyone else knows the correct
things to do in a progressive discipline or corrective action, you can try the following
discipline steps. First of all, be sure you have met with the person and counseled
with them on several occasions. Most companies give an employee a couple of
verbal warnings and, finally, a warning in writing before they consider firing. At each
of these verbal warning sessions you should discuss their unsatisfactory behavior,
and be sure they clearly know the standards or expectations for acceptable
performance. In other words, are you absolutely sure that you have explained to your
employee what they did wrong and what to do to improve the situation? After each
such discussion you should write down a summary of the meeting, describing what
was discussed. Be sure you date and sign it, give a copy to the employee, and keep
it on file. This is important for documentation purposes.
Assuming you have correctly following the above advice or your company’s own
specific discipline process, and firing them is the only choice, you need to ease up on
yourself. If you have honestly done your very best to help this employee be
successful, then firing is simply the natural consequences of their action or lack of
action. You have performed your supervisory responsibility well, so go into the
termination interview with confidence.
If your employee is doing poorly, he/she probably is not happy in the job either. The
job may not be well-suited to his or her interests or temperament. Not only does the

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employee not like it, but they certainly know that their performance has not lived up to
expectations. They know this because you have done your job and discussed this
with them on several occasions. So termination is not a surprise. If it is a surprise,
you haven’t done your job up to this point. Reread and follow the advice in this
section up to this paragraph.
When you bring someone in to terminate them, sit down with them privately and be
as cordial as you can. Nine times out of ten they know they aren’t doing well enough
to continue. You can say, “We gave this our best shot. You will be happier
somewhere else.” Leave them with some dignity and wish them the best. Be clear
that they need to clear out their personal items immediately or whatever you want
them to do.
If you have not counseled with the employee and documented these efforts, or if they
have received one or more satisfactory performance appraisals prior to termination,
then you are on shaky legal grounds if you fire them in some states. Many states
recognize wrongful discharge. Protect yourself by being sure you have followed all
the required steps. You may want to get your boss to check with a legal advisor to be
sure the organization is protected.
What you want to accomplish in a termination interview is an amicable separation

where you do not concentrate on blame but simply acknowledge that it’s not working.
This allows the employee and your organization to both move forward from here. An
employee that you terminate in a positive and respectful way may even come back to
you later and thank you for waking them up and forcing them to make a change.
********
Mary Beth was director of a day care center. She had been observing her new
employee, Rachel, closely over the last two months. She had several concerns about
Rachel. First she had been late for work on her early shift nearly once every week.
Their day care regulations required them to have a minimum number of staff present
at all times, so when Rachel was 15 minutes late, they were in violation of state
regulations. Mary Beth had talked to Rachel three times about this problem and each
time it improved—for a week or two. Then the same old thing started again.
Rachel spent too much time with two of the toddlers she loved and practically ignored
the three others in her group that she did not like. Mary Beth had talked to her about
this, too, and had kept careful records of these conversations with Rachel, as she had
been instructed to do in some training she attended last year. Again, things would
improve for a week or so, and then Rachel went back to the same patterns of
favoritism.
Yesterday when Rachel was supposed to be supervising the children on the

playground she was paying no attention, and one child got hit in the head by another
child with a plastic bat. Fortunately, the child was not seriously injured, but it was just
another example of Rachel’s poor performance. Other staff members were
complaining, and Mary Beth knew she had to let Rachel go. She was concerned

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about Rachel’s possible reaction, so she had enlisted Jeannie, her assistant director,
to help her. Mary Beth asked Rachel if she could see her in her office while the
children were napping in the afternoon. At the same time, Jeannie was gathering up
Rachel’s personal items and standing by in the next room to escort Rachel from the
premises.
When Rachel entered Mary Beth’s office, her first comment was, “If you’re going to
fuss at me about Cory getting hit on the playground, that wasn’t my fault, you know. I
was busy watching Kelly at the time, and it just happened so quick. It could have
happened to anybody.”
“I know it can happen quickly,” said Mary Beth, “but we have a responsibility to these
children and their parents for things like this not to happen. You and I have talked
before about your spending too much time with Kelly and ignoring the others. In fact,
this is the fifth time I’ve had to talk to you about some part of your job performance in
the three months you have been here, so you know I’ve had other concerns too, and
I’ve even put these things in writing for you. You’ve known you were on probationary
status.”
“You’re not going to fire me then, are you?” asked Rachel. “I love these children, and
I don’t want to leave.”
“Yes, I’m afraid I am going to have to ask you to leave. Each time I speak to you
about something you need to work on, it improves for a little while, and then you slip
back into the same bad habits. I’m sure there are things you do well, Rachel, but you
are just not a match for what we need here. I just have to have someone who will
follow instructions and someone I can absolutely depend on.”
Rachel started complaining loudly. “You can’t do this to me! I need this job, and I’m
not going to leave! I’ll sue you.” She started to cry.
Mary Beth remained calm. She let Rachel continue to vent, and when Rachel finally
took a breath, Mary Beth said very calmly, “Rachel, you will need to leave now. We
have gotten your things together, and we’ll escort you to your car. We really do wish
you the best, but you can’t be here any longer.”
She opened the door and Jeannie met them. Jeannie handed Rachel all her things,
and the two of them herded Rachel to the back door, being careful not to touch or
force her. They walked her to the parking lot and to her car.
Mary Beth told her good luck and that she hoped she’d find a job soon that really
suited her. Rachel had tears in her eyes, but she didn’t protest any longer. Mary
Beth felt a sense of relief, even though she would be stretched for coverage until she
could replace Rachel. But it had to be done, and she thought it had gone as well as
she could have expected. She was relieved there had been only a minor scene.
Now she could get on with running the center.

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Points to remember:
1) Counsel with the employee on several occasions.

2) Document all efforts you have made to help them improve.
3) The final discussion should be as amicable as possible and not focused on
blame. Stick to the facts.
4) Wish them well, and let them go with their— and your—dignity intact.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 7. “I’ve got to do employee performance reviews, and I don’t know

how.”
____________________________________________________________________
• Keep putting it off and hope this task will go away.

• Just do a quick job (copy last year’s answers?), sign it, and stick it in the
file…nobody cares about these things anyway, do they?
Even if you are tempted, don’t do this. To get the full advantage of your appraisals,
do them as described below.
~~~~~~~~~~
A performance review, performance appraisal, or performance evaluation (all these

terms mean the same thing) is such an important opportunity for a meaningful
discussion with your employees. If you hate reviews, rush through them, or are
dishonest rather than confronting an employee, you are missing a golden opportunity
to get in touch with and re-motivate your employees, or even get them back on track
if needed.
In the first place, remember that you should have been having informal conversations
about their performance all through the year. It’s called coaching, and it means that
you ask them periodically how they think they are doing. You share your own
observations, and you give compliments every time you can. When you do this
coaching, you help develop a stronger relationship and a better foundation on which
to have your performance review. This also assures that nothing in the performance
review will come as a surprise to your employee. This is really important. So you
have no reason to dread the review.
If you have not given them good coaching and mentoring with frequent feedback on
how they are doing during this year, resolve to do it the right way next year! In the
meantime—now—you’ll have to start with where you are and do the best you can.
Get a blank copy of the form and send a copy to your employee. Fill in your copy
with your ratings or observations. It’s especially helpful to write examples. Ask your
employee to fill in the form and rate himself or herself. Schedule an appointment as
soon as possible to meet and discuss this. Don’t let yourself put this off! Allow an
hour, if possible, so you have time to also hear what’s on your employee’s mind.
The purpose of your meeting—and of your rating—is not to do a “gotcha.” If what you
have in mind is to zap your employee, then shame on you! There are several
purposes a good appraisal process will accomplish. These are to…

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1) thank people for the good work they have done and acknowledge them.
2) encourage them to set goals for areas where they are challenged. You need
to inspire them to want to continue to grow personally and in their job. You
want to plan their development for the new year.
3) open a dialog and a chance for them to offer suggestions for the department
or discuss areas of concern.
Your aim in the performance appraisal interview is to have a positive and honest
experience. There is no reason to put it off. The actual numbers or words on the
form are less important than building enough trust with your employee that you can
both share your opinions freely.
Many performance review forms have predefined categories and a rating scale.
Since all people view scales differently it is vital that the reviewer disclose what the
scale means to them. For instance if the scale is 1-10 what does a 4 mean, what
does a 6 mean, what does a 10 really mean?
Scale Example:
1-2 3-4 5-6 7-8 9-10
Unacceptable. Below average. Average Above average Superstar

Corrective action Needs
plan required Improvement
If an employee receives a 1 or 2 (or the lowest rating on your form), you should also
develop a corrective action plan, since the rating is saying that the performance is
unacceptable. This means that you write down specifically what the person will need
to do differently, and by what date. Then schedule another meeting to review
whether they have made progress.
At the other end of the scale, most companies require that for “superstar” rating
(whatever your highest category is) you may need to justify this rating with one or
more specific examples to substantiate this rating.
When the time of your appraisal interview rolls around, close the door and give them
your undivided attention (ignore the phones, pages, and emails, except for true
emergencies). Be pleasant and make them feel welcome rather than thinking they
are about to be sentenced by the judge.
Begin looking at the form and ask your employee how they answered question one
on the form. Chances are very good that they have rated themselves or written a
comment similar to your own. Any time you can agree with them, do. “I agree, I think
that’s fair.” When their rating is lower than your own—which is actually fairly
common—be sure you explain why you rated them higher. Be complimentary! This
is a good opportunity to motivate and inspire them. Show them you appreciate their
good qualities.

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If the employee rated themselves higher than you rated them, say, “That’s interesting.
Can you explain why you chose that answer?” It’s actually possible that they will
point out some things you may have forgotten or may not have considered. Give
them a chance to explain. If you believe, on balance, that your answer is still the
more accurate one, tell them so and explain why. If you can reasonably agree with
their higher rating, do so. If not, then obviously you are the boss, so your answer
sticks. You may be quite right, too. But consider the possible after-effects of
trumping their answer, especially if they are adamant. Is it worth building up
resentment just so you can be “right”?
It is likely that the reason your two answers are different is that you have not
communicated frequently enough with them about their performance throughout the
year. They may not have understood fully what outstanding performance in a
particular category really means in your judgment. Tell them this, too: “I now realize
that I haven’t given you as much verbal feedback during the year as I could have. I
am definitely going to change that, and I want us to talk about these things more
often. That way you’ll know better what I expect. Next time we do a review I’d like for
us to be communicating enough that we come up with all the same answers.”
As you come to some kind of agreement on the rating, remember the second purpose
for a performance review—to think about future plans, i.e., what are the areas in
which they wish to grow? What professional opportunities, projects, or training are
they interested in for next year? Where do they hope to be career-wise in a few
years? Ask them how you can help them to grow in these areas. Be careful about
promises you make, and promise only things you can and will make good on.
The third thing you should do during an appraisal discussion is to ask them for their
suggestions on how to improve the team or department or what one thing they would
fix or improve. In fact, a great question you might want to ask is, “If you had my job,
what would you do differently?” Don’t dare ask this question unless you are prepared
to hear their answer, though. Do not get defensive when they make a suggestion.
You are not perfect! Take it as a compliment—as a sign of their trust in you—that
they’re willing to be honest with you. You might just get some very good suggestions
this way, too.
Always end your interview on a positive note. Thank them for their work in preparing
answers and for their honest discussion with you. Make sure they know that you
want them to come to you when they have questions or suggestions. Approach a
performance review with a good attitude, and your employee will follow your lead.
This process can be a wonderful motivational tool when used appropriately. You can
make the whole process of feedback and appraisal productive and painless and use it
as an opportunity to boost your relationship.
Begin your new appraisal year on a better note by giving all your employees frequent
informal feedback on their performance. Write it in your calendar for yourself if you
need to. Just saying something as simple as a, “Good job this month” as you pass in
the hall can do wonders for employee morale and performance. When they are

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genuine and heartfelt, simple words can be powerful motivators…and they cost
nothing.
********
Jeff was nervous about today. He had to do two performance reviews for his
salesmen. Last year, just after he took over as route sales manager, he had had to
do seven of the things, and he knew he had made a mess of it. Not only did he not
know his employees very well, but he had no clue how to do a performance appraisal.
He did them the way his manager used to do them—as quickly as possible. He had
complained to his regional manager, and the company finally had someone come in
from corporate HR to do a half-day of training for all the sales managers and the two
regional managers in the state about six months ago. He had learned about
everything he had done wrong last year, and he had resolved he would do a better
job of it this year.
Today Jeff was meeting with his best salesman and one of his average performers.
He had four more appraisals scheduled for next week. To prepare for these
meetings, Jeff had gotten out his notes from the training seminar he had back in the
winter. When Ed, his average employee, came to see him, he closed the door and
asked him if he had filled out the blank form Jeff had put in his box. Ed said, “Well, I
put something down, but I don’t know how good a job I did. I thought that’s what you
were supposed to do, Jeff, not me.”
“I had some training a few months back on how to do these things better, and that’s
what the guy recommended. Said it gives people more involvement in the process
and more ownership of the ratings. I think it makes sense, so I want to try it like this.
That’s why I’m asking all of you to rate yourselves at the same time I’m rating you,
too.”
They went through the form together, and sure enough, Ed’s answers matched Jeff’s
in all but one case, and in that case Jeff had rated him higher than Ed rated himself.
They discussed Ed’s plans for improvement, and he said he wanted to take
advantage of more of the training sessions offered by their vendors. Jeff agreed that
it was a good idea for him to go to a couple of these. He asked Ed for any ideas or
suggestions, and while Ed didn’t have any concrete ideas, they had a very nice
conversation, and he found an opportunity to let Ed know he appreciated his
dependability. Jeff told Ed that he would be trying to give him feedback on his work
performance more often throughout the year, not just at appraisal time.
After it was over Jeff realized that it hadn’t gone badly at all. Of course, he still had
his weakest employee to do next week. But he had gotten a good start and felt much
more confident in his ability to carry through this part of his management
responsibilities.

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Points to remember:
1) Have employee complete a copy of the appraisal form, and supervisor

completes a copy also before the appraisal interview.
2) Discuss the employee’s answers and agree when you can.
3) Devise a plan for continued development next year.
4) Ask for the employee’s suggestions for strengthening the department.
5) Resolve to do frequent informal feedback discussions with them throughout
the year, so you and the employee are both clear how they are doing.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 8. “I may need some help with one part of my job, but I’m afraid to
admit it.”
____________________________________________________________________
You may be tempted to:
o Grit your teeth and just push on through the problem.
But maybe you’d better not. Here’s why.
~~~~~~~~~~
It may surprise you to know that nobody expects you to know everything when you
become a manager or supervisor. Even the best manager does not have all the
answers. It’s okay not to have all the answers, and it’s normal to have a couple of
areas of your job where you feel challenged. Remember, you get yourself in trouble
when you pretend you know the answer and you really don’t know it.
Even your employees are not usually put off when you say “Gee, I’m not really sure
about that. What do you think?” or “I don’t know, but I can try to find out for you.”
They do get upset, however, if you say “Sure, I’ve got it. I’ll take care of it,” and you
make up some answer for them when you really had no idea. People don’t get upset
with someone who is honest and is definitely trying to learn. They do get upset with
know-it-alls! They also get upset when you promise something you can’t or don’t
deliver.
It’s really important that you ask for help when you need it. If you don’t, you may very
well end up making a huge mistake and costing your company money. If the mistake
is too serious it could even result in some disciplinary action or loss of your job.
Don’t take that kind of a chance! Even if this is not the best organization in the world
or your favorite job, hang in there with the supervision or management for awhile and
learn as much as you possibly can about how to do it. Then you become more
attractive to another employer.
So what should you do when you run into a question you can’t answer or an issue
that you cannot solve? First, you should buy yourself some time by saying something
like “Let me check on that and get back to you by Wednesday (or whenever).” This
will give you time to check some of your resources. Here are some ideas of where to
go for help.
The obvious first place to ask for help is in your own organization.
1) Go to your boss. That’s part of what he/she is there for. You say you don’t
want to seem stupid to the boss? You won’t seem incompetent if you go in
with as much information as possible and even have a best-guess answer to

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your challenging question. Lay out the situation or question for the boss, and
then say “One of the things I thought about doing was __________.” I wasn’t
sure if that was right or not, so I wanted to get your opinion first.”
2) Go to a peer in another department. Ask a supervisor who has more
experience than you do. Ask for this person’s opinion on how to resolve your
challenge. There is no shame in being honest and asking for help when you
need it.
3) Ask your human resources department or other department. If you have an
HR representative, depending on the question, this person may have an
answer and give good advice. If your question involves some other
specialty—your computer system, an accounting or record-keeping issue, or
something else—ask the appropriate department in your organization; seek
out the right expertise.
4) Ask a mentor. Is there another manager besides your own who you admire
and could speak with about your issue? If so, make an appointment and
speak frankly with this person. Tell them you value their opinion and thank
them for their advice when they try to help.
Another suggestion for getting information when you have a question or concern is to
check the internet. Jot down some keywords or phrases related to your question or
issue and begin trying them in various search engines. There are many, many sites
out there that would offer information or advice on any supervisory or management
question you could possibly have. Educate yourself.
In addition, who do you know outside the organization that may offer advice or
direction with your current dilemma? Look around your circle of professional
acquaintances, your professional or trade organization, or other local business
people. Many of these people, even if you don’t know them well, will be very helpful
in providing guidance and can be quite generous with their time. Use your network—
ask the people you know who they know that might be able to answer your question
or give advice.
Often when we need a fresh perspective on a question, we can ask someone in our
personal support system—a family member or a friend. It’s true, they probably don’t
know the company or the people involved unless they have worked there, but an
outsider can often offer a very helpful perspective on a problem simply because they
are not involved. When you are caught up in an issue, you sometimes “can’t see the
forest for the trees.”
Just remember you don’t look foolish when you ask an honest question and are
obviously trying to learn. You only look foolish when you plow ahead and do
something unwise because you would not pause and ask for help.
********
Reba was the billing manager at the local electric co-operative. She had 12 people
working for her, including billing clerks and customer reps who handled telephone
and walk-in contacts. Reba tried to run a smooth office, sticking strictly to policy and

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procedures. Reba was very proud of what she had accomplished in her 18 years as
manager; she was proud of her department and her people. She reported to Dennis,
the administrative director. Reba was a workaholic and liked to be closely involved in
everything her staff did. She liked knowing what was going on in the office, and
ended each day with a five to ten minute staff meeting to get progress reports from
everyone and to be alerted of any problems that may come her way.
The electric co-op had recently developed and installed a new computer tracking
system that integrated all the functions of installations, repairs, billings and payments.
The previous system had been cumbersome, and the various functions were not
integrated, making coordination of services and sharing of information between
departments and between programs more difficult.
The customer service office had been the last of the departments in the electric co-op
to be changed over to the new system. The transition had not gone smoothly.
Although the people from the information systems department had been working as
hard as they could, the system still had some bugs in the applications most used by
the customer service department. This had resulted in double work and considerable
stress for everyone. They were still having to use the old system as a backup for the
new system which was not yet reliable enough. This often meant hand-comparisons
between billing lists. This had been going on almost daily for nearly two months.
Dennis was aware of Reba’s problems, and he had offered to send one of the people
who worked for him to help Reba out in the office during the transition. He had also
said he would arrange for her to borrow someone from the repair department or even
hire a temporary worker for her during this transition. Reba would not hear of it. She
was far too proud and too much “in control” to admit that there was anything they
could not handle. After all, her department had weathered difficult times before.
She remembered the first conversion from manual records to computers, and once
she had two people out with extended surgery leaves at the same time. So Reba
was confident that between them, she and her staff “could handle anything.” This
usually meant that she, and often several of her workers, worked long hours. Three
or four of her employees had complained that they needed more help, but Reba kept
assuring them that this was just temporary and they would soon be back to normal.
One day Dennis came to her office in the afternoon and told her that beginning
tomorrow, Martha from his office would be with her all but two hours a day until the
bugs were worked out of her system. Peggy from the repair department would also
be reporting to her after lunch for the afternoon. “I told you we are doing fine,” said
Reba. “I don’t need them.”
“That’s not what your staff tells me,” said Dennis. “Ten of them have either come to
see me or called me in the last two days to urge me to send some help over here until
the new system is up and running fully. They said that you were being a martyr, but
they were all really stressed out about it. I know you are independent and proud, and
I appreciate that about you, Reba, but I also don’t want to have wholesale walkout
over here. You’re got to be willing to accept help when you need it. I think we need

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to take care of our employees, and we can do this for them. IS tells me that the
situation will surely be straightened out in a couple more weeks.”
Reba was not happy about having two “outsiders” in her department. However, she
realized that her employees and her boss were really serious about this. So she
accepted the help that was offered. Three weeks later, when the system was finally
straightened out, Reba told Dennis she was glad he had insisted. “The atmosphere
around here changed from hopeless to hopeful just having those two additional
bodies here, and they really were a big help. This was a good lesson for me to
remember to ask for help when I really do need it or when I don’t have an answer. So
I guess, even at my age, I learned something.”
Points to remember:
1) No one expects you to have all the answers, so don’t be afraid to ask for help
when you are stuck!
2) First consider possible resources or mentors within your own company.
3) Seek out information from the internet that might shed light on your problem.
4) Get a fresh and objective perspective from an outsider.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 9. “I’ve got to make a presentation to the ‘big wigs.’”

____________________________________________________________________
o Panic.
o Worry yourself into some kind of illness.
o Turn the presentation over to somebody else.
But don’t. You can do it, if you approach it in the following way.
~~~~~~~~~~
You are in good company if you dislike public speaking or making presentations. If
you learn to master this common fear and do a reasonable job, you’ll impress your
bosses that you are professional and competent—and may be worthy of promotion.
You will also boost your own confidence beyond measure. Few things build self-
esteem faster than succeeding at a tough challenge. This section will help you
succeed.
First of all and most fundamental is to tell yourself over and over that you can do it.
Take a nice, deep breath and say, “I know I will make a great presentation.” Every
time you feel doubt, take that deep breath, smile to yourself, and say confidently, “I
know I will make a great presentation.” Adopting a positive attitude is one key; the
other key to success is preparation.
When you begin to prepare, keep the purpose of your presentation in mind from the
beginning. Is your purpose to inform? To give a status report on a project? To
present some new data for consideration by the group? Is your purpose to convince
them to adopt a certain policy or allocate resources for a project or product? Is your
purpose to influence them to adopt your proposed solution to a problem? Even if
your purpose is to influence or convince, you will still need to inform them, so let’s talk
first about presenting information.
Think ahead of time about what questions your audience may have about your topic.
You’ll need to answer most of the obvious who, what, when, where, and how kinds of
questions. Sit down sometime when you are relaxed and begin brainstorming the
topics that you’d like to include if you were speaking to someone who has little or no
knowledge of this subject. Include any suggestions given by your boss or someone
else in the know that should be covered. Remember, you are the expert or you
wouldn’t have been selected to present. Many of your top bosses won’t have the
content-area expertise or technical knowledge that you have, so keep your
information basic and not too detailed. Once you get all your possible subtopics
down, put them in some kind of logical order—develop a basic outline.

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If your purpose is to not only inform but to persuade them, you will want to build your
information into a series of arguments or reasons why they should “do this,” “approve
this,” or “change this.” Put some heart into your talk by using a convincing,
passionate tone of voice. If you show them you truly believe what you’re saying is
right, and you’ll be much more likely to convince them than if you are completely
matter-of-fact in your tone. Believe in what you say and others will believe in it too.
As you have time, try to fill in more details in the rough outline you are creating. What
information will you have to look up or seek out? Will you need to set up tables,
charts, diagrams, or present photographs? Remember that visual displays are often
very helpful for your audience. If you will use these kinds of things, make yourself a
list of this and other things you have to do to fully complete your outline. Set a
personal deadline for completing each of these pieces of information.
Remember that presentations consisting only of facts and charts may be informative
but they can also be quite boring. Liven up your presentation and make it memorable
by preparing at least one story, illustration, example, or specific instance you can
relate. No matter who your audience and what your purpose, this helps the facts and
figures to mean something. Even your top leaders appreciate hearing an example—
how does your material apply to the day-to-day activities? A specific example makes
any data you present more concrete and more real.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking your presentation will have to overwhelm them in
order to impress them. In fact, keeping it simpler is much better than making it too
complex or detailed. If you are using presentation software to create slides or if you
are using transparencies, flip charts, or written handouts, keep them uncluttered.
Don’t try to crowd too many details into these visuals. You can add more detail with
your spoken remarks when you present, but keep what’s written simple and clear.
If it helps, you can write yourself a script of your presentation, but use this only for
your practice, not for the actual event. Make good notes or write out what you will
say. Then practice delivering your presentation out loud with no audience. Speak it
to yourself as many times as you need to in order to feel confident that you know your
material.
Time yourself. How long should your presentation be? If the person who asked you
to present did not supply that information, then ask. It’s rare that you will need to
have more than 15 or 20 minutes worth of material. Always allow at least 20% of the
time for questions and comments. This means you shouldn’t spend all your allotted
time on your presentation.
When you practice, if you have too much material for your time frame, go back and
figure out what you can cut. If you don’t have nearly enough, what can you add?
You are usually better off having less material and more time for questions and
discussion than having too much to cover. If you can cover the material, answer
questions, and still finish a little early, this is usually appreciated.

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Practice your delivery again and again. Each time you do, you’ll feel more confident.
Throw away your script and speak only from an outline. You should practice it until
you can do that easily. Pay attention to your voice tone. Show a little interest and
excitement about your topic or you’ll bore them to death. If possible, have a co-
worker or your manager look over your outline and even practice delivering your talk
to them.
By doing careful preparation—research and writing—and by practicing a number of

times, you have every reason to feel confident that you will do well. Before your big
day, visualize yourself standing before the group, going through your material
confidently and successfully. In your mind’s eye, see it going positively, and see it in
as much detail as possible.
When your day arrives, instead of thinking, “Gosh, I’m so nervous,” start labeling the
jitters you feel as excitement. It’s the same emotion. Tell yourself, “I’m really excited
about today.” When your time arrives walk confidently into the room and get set up.
Allow plenty of time for the set up. In most cases, even with a small group, you are
advised to stand when you present. This generally appears more authoritative and
professional. Take a deep breath and smile when you begin. This helps you to relax.
Shine and enjoy your chance to show off what you know to “the big managers.”
Remember that your audience wants you to succeed. (Rarely would a beginning
presenter be expected to appear in front of a hostile audience.)
Go through your material just as you rehearsed. If you get mixed up, check your
notes and correct yourself. Take a deep breath and a short pause to recompose
yourself. After you get through the first minute or two, it will get easier! When you
finish, give yourself a pat on the back, even if you think you messed up a couple of
times. That’s normal, and other people seldom remember small mistakes or know
“what you should have said.”
Offer your audience the chance to ask you questions, offer comments, and discuss
your topic. It’s possible you will generate some very lively discussion. Don’t worry
that you won’t be able to answer their questions. Chances are very good that you will
or that some other member of your audience will know the answer. In the case of a
question no one knows the answer to, tell them you will try to find out and get them
the answer. Then follow up and do it! When it’s over, thank them for the chance to
present to them and for their interest and attention.
You did just fine! And it will get easier each time you do it. That’s a promise.
~~~~~~~~~~
Penny is an IT technician at a regional insurance company. Four months ago she

was assigned to a special project—research and evaluation of software systems that
could more fully integrate the company’s needs for data sharing. New policy-holders
entered by the sales department had to be re-entered with the software used by the
claims department when a claim was reported. Her manager had tried to write a

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program to take care of this. Some features of it worked, but it had just not been
reliable and comprehensive enough for them to depend on, so they had gone back to
the old cumbersome system. The company wanted a fully integrated system,
especially designed for the insurance industry.
Penny had narrowed her search down to two possible solutions, and today was her
day to present to the CEO and his seven direct reports. Her manager would also be
there. Penny had laid out her information carefully and practiced her presentation
quite a few times. She made up a simple ten-slide presentation using presentation
software to guide her talk and visually present her main points. She had made
several short informal presentations before in her career but not to the top brass.
She was a little nervous but made herself think positively about how excited she was
to have this opportunity. The fact that the company trusted her with this project was a
sign of their faith in her abilities.
When she first got in the room and stood up to present, Penny was nervous. Her first
words came out really quiet, and she realized she would have to speak up. She took
a deeper breath, and her words sounded more natural. Penny concentrated on the
information she knew so well by this time, and she gradually relaxed. Things started
flowing smoother. She was proud that she was able to answer their questions at the
end.
Penny came through with flying colors because she had prepared well and felt
confident. She got a lot of compliments on the thoroughness of her work, and the
CEO even sent her an email to thank her. Penny had made it clear that she preferred
her first option and why, even though it was more expensive. It turns out that the
executive team took her recommendation for the higher-priced solution. When the
new system was finally installed a few months later and everyone was trained, it
reduced everyone’s frustration and improved customer service. It also looked good
for Penny’s career, and she got an outstanding performance review that year.
Points to remember:
1) Adopt a positive and determined attitude – you can make a successful

presentation.
2) Determine what your purpose is and what your audience expects.
3) Build a rough outline of your information and gradually fill in details, including
examples.
4) Practice, practice, practice and approach your big day confidently.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 10. “I know I need to delegate better, but how?”

____________________________________________________________________
o Not bother delegating because it’s just easier to go ahead and get the work
done yourself.
o Quickly hand a project or task over to somebody else even if they’re not sure
they can handle it, because you’re feeling overloaded.
You may be tempted, but don’t. Here’s why delegating is important and how to do it
well.
~~~~~~~~~~
Your own stress level and productivity are too low when you are overloaded. In
addition, you are not developing the capacity of your people if you do not continue to
offer them new challenges. This means that not only now but in the future they will
be unable to perform. This may mean you are constantly feeling overloaded. This
also means the organization may not be getting the full benefit from all its workers.
Delegating appropriately is a crucial skill for all good leaders to master. It benefits
you, the leader, it benefits your employee, and it benefits your employer.
There are at least three important reasons why you would want to delegate. First,
many of your employees like new challenges and will appreciate gradual and
manageable chances to grow. Second, with good delegation you will improve your
standing with your employees and are more likely to be noticed favorably by higher
management. A third reason is that you will balance out the workload, reduce your
stress and allow yourself time to work on larger projects (such as investigating
potential improvements and moving your department ahead) when you spend less
time on the daily routine.
Take a good long look at yourself. Beginning supervisors sometimes assume that
they have to continue to do much of the work they had been doing before they
entered a management position, plus all the necessary administration, coordination,
and monitoring, too. Even seasoned supervisors often get in the habit of continuing
to do much of the work they did as a frontline worker. When you do this, you carve
out two jobs for yourself, perhaps because it makes you feel more “important” to be
so essential and overworked, or because you, wrongly, assume that’s what is
expected of a manager. Failure to delegate and to do so appropriately does not
make you look important. It makes you look unskilled as a manager, and it makes
you feel overworked and pressured.
The fundamental truth of supervision that many companies either don’t understand
themselves or fail to tell you, is that it’s not your job as a supervisor/manager to “do”

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the work on a daily basis (the work that your employees are doing). It’s your
responsibility to make sure it gets done. This does not mean that you are the harsh
overseer standing around and cracking the whip. Further, it does not mean that you
have to issue orders and have people scrambling. Far from it! It’s your responsibility
to motivate them to do the work willingly, with you occasionally pitching in during
tough times.
If you are now convinced that you need to delegate, or someone has told you to do
so, begin your process by making a careful list of the tasks you generally do in a
given period. A week is a good starting place. Once you have a list, put the tasks in
order according to their level of difficulty or complexity, starting your list with the
lowest difficulty item. Then ask yourself who on your team has some interest or
background in this task. Who is capable right now of doing it, or who would be able
to do it with a little coaching from you? Who is the logical person to do this task, as
you take a look at your direct reports?
You have now identified the item and identified the person who could do it. Your next
step is to have the delegating conversation with your employee. Schedule a time to
sit down privately with him or her. The best way to approach the issue of their new
task is to do it in a very positive way in the context of a feedback conversation. You
can tell them you have been observing them and have really appreciated such-and-
such about their work. Be specific about something good they have done. You are
so pleased, in fact, that you think they are ready to take the next step and learn
something new.
No employee wants to feel like they are being dumped on or given all the work the
boss doesn’t want, so be careful to explain what benefit they will get out of it: what
they will learn, how they will be recognized, how it will affect their status in the team,
how this will enhance their visibility, how they will be rewarded (don’t promise
monetary rewards if you can’t deliver!), or any advantage you can think of. When
they are more fully in charge of a project, task or area, they can develop expertise in
that area and additional pride in their accomplishments.
Be prepared for a give and take discussion, especially the concern your employee
might have of, “I’m already overloaded, so what can I give up?” Help them prioritize
the tasks they are responsible for, or consider giving one of their tasks to someone
else, for cross-training purposes.
You should be honest about what you are doing. Tell them you are working on
learning to delegate better. You want to develop better coverage in the department
by having others who can complete the essential tasks in case you aren’t available,
and your goal is to be teaching others and helping them develop skills. You may
want to assure them that other team members will be learning some new tasks too,
and your goal is to create additional expertise in the department.
If you and your employee agree they will take on a specific task that you had been
doing, be careful about your level of involvement in the task from this point forward.
Set a time when you will be training them in the new responsibility, and let them tell

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you how much monitoring and assistance they think they need from you. When you
instruct them, be sure that they clearly understand the expected outcomes and know
what the result is supposed to look like. Then, get out of their way.
Your delegating will fall flat on its face if you micromanage. That means, do not stand
over your employee every minute to see that they are doing the new task “right.”
Train them, and then let them do it themselves. Your employee is very likely to do the
job slightly differently than you did it. As long as it gets the results you are looking for,
that is perfectly acceptable. So don’t tell them how it “must” be done. Just be clear
about the end product, and praise them when they achieve it. Delegating efforts will
also fall flat if you completely disappear and never follow up to see how they are
doing. Be sure to remain available for questions they may have.
These extremes of micromanaging and unloading work and then disappearing are
both unacceptable. If you tell people exactly how everything has to be done and if
you insist they come back to you every time they turn around for approval or a
progress report, this is micromanaging. Don’t do it! This creates resentment because
it means you have not given up control of the task. On the other hand, if you remove
yourself completely in an effort to stay out of their way or to wipe your hands of
another task you didn’t want, this will create problems when you aren’t available as a
resource while they are learning. This is why you should always let your employee
say how much involvement or assistance they need. If the task is complex, and a
periodic progress check might be helpful to both of you, then ask for and schedule
this.
Gradually practice delegating with additional tasks and additional employees. Be

sure that you compliment their developing skills as they complete their new tasks, and
thank them for their willingness to grow.
Whether an employee looks at your delegating work to them as a punishment or as a

reward will be dependent largely on your own attitude about it. If you are glum,
matter-of-fact, or fail to acknowledge how great they are already, then they will
probably view it as punishment. But if you approach this hand-off with excitement,
and let them know how proud you are and how much faith you have in them (and
mean it!) and how you couldn’t give this work to just anybody, then they are more
likely to see it as a reward—as a symbol of your faith in them. When approached like
this, delegating will be more successful. Your employee is more likely to complete
the task successfully and maintain a positive attitude.
********
“I’m really upset about this,” Jack told his boss, Sharon, during his performance
appraisal interview. Jack worked as business office manager at a community college,
and Sharon was Dean of Administrative Services.
Sharon tried to reassure him. “Look, Jack, we know it’s because you are so
conscientious that you have been unable to delegate. Being particular is a good thing
to a point—details are important here. But you’re just carrying it a little too far. You

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get yourself stressed out, you always have a backload of work, and I think things
could flow better. I’d just like you to learn to delegate more, as I’ve told you before.
You’ve got at least two really competent people in your office. Jean and Brian are
both capable of taking on more responsibility, and I think we need to be training them,
too. What happens when you need to be out of the office?”
“That’s why I rarely take time off,” said Jack weakly.
“I know, and you need to use your annual leave—everyone deserves that.”
“But I really don’t know how to delegate,” protested Jack.
“That’s why I did an internet search to find some training opportunities for you that
we can afford. One is a four week teleclass that sounds pretty good. The other is a
one-day seminar that will be held at three locations around Washington during the
fall. I think we could afford the tuition and the lodging and expenses for one night.”
Jack still felt dazed later that day as he reflected more on Sharon’s comments. He
was upset about his mediocre appraisal results. He had to admit, though, that
Sharon had talked to him about this before, so it wasn’t really new, and she was
probably right. He did need to work on this. He just didn’t know where to begin.
Jack went ahead and signed up for the delegation workshop Sharon had told him
about, but it was six weeks down the road. He got on the internet and downloaded a
couple of articles on delegation, vowing to take them home and read them later.
Later never came and, despite Jack’s good intentions, the time passed quickly. He
finally realized that the workshop on delegation was scheduled for less than two
weeks. He quickly made his hotel reservations, and began making plans to be away.
When the time came, Jack went to the workshop with some dread for what was
coming. Maybe he was overworked, maybe he was behind, but at least he was
comfortable in his pattern. He just didn’t know whether he could learn a new way or
not. Then he remembered Sharon’s warning and how he needed to change. He was
motivated by wanting to avoid another mediocre performance appraisal.
Jack liked the workshop more than he expected. The two presenters were very
knowledgeable and not too pushy. They seemed to understand the reluctance many
of the attendees felt about delegating. Jack learned a few things. He learned that he
needed to start out small. The exercises and the small group discussions had helped
him to make a short list of the tasks he normally did that could possibly be done by
someone else in his office. He went back to the office with a commitment that he
could do it.
Over the next couple of months, Jack gradually began to give his capable staff
members more responsibility for certain aspects of the work he had traditionally done.
One day when he was in Sharon’s office on another matter, Sharon commented to
him that she was very proud of the way he was learning to share some of the
workload and to use his staff to their full capability.

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“You know,” replied Jack, “it really hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be. My
people have all been pretty good about accepting the changes in responsibility, and
some have actually expressed relief that we are becoming more efficient. I thought it
would be hard for me to give it up because I would feel like I wasn’t in control any
more. But I’ve actually enjoyed the new arrangements. I know I still have a way to
go but my backlog of work is smaller now, and I’ve really learned to trust my people
more now. I didn’t think I could change, but you forced me. And I am grateful for
that.”
Points to remember:
1) Make a list of possible tasks you do that could possibly be turned over to
someone.
2) Begin with one task and decide who the logical person is to have do this.
3) Have the delegating conversation with your employee—tell them you are
entrusting this work to them because they are capable; give good instructions.
4) Compliment and reinforce their efforts without micromanaging.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 11. “One of my people is late all the time.”

____________________________________________________________________
o Ignore it.
o Lay down the law in no uncertain terms.
o Fire them.
But don’t. Pretending like it’s no problem will only make it worse, and other
employees who arrive on time resent the offender and resent you, too, for doing
nothing. Giving them a lecture will often make the offender mad. Even though you
are within your right to enforce the rules, the offender may retaliate with marginal
performance or a poor attitude. Short of having to fire them, it is possible to correct
the negative behavior and still avoid building resentment. Here’s what you should do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You need to deal with the problem in the early stages. Don’t let it drag on and on.
When you first begin to notice the tardiness, sit the person down and have a private
conversation. Tell them, “I noticed you’ve been ten minutes late two days this week.
What’s going on?” Before you bring out the rulebook, always ask them what’s wrong
and then listen carefully to their explanation. Use your “business” tone of voice, not a
tone that is mean or angry, but don’t talk like a “wimp” either. Practice saying to
yourself until you have it right. By approaching the situation this way, you are letting
them know that you are on to them, but you are willing to listen and be reasonable.
If they have a legitimate and temporary problem (for example, their child was sick for
two days), then you do not need to make it a big deal. You can even say, “I
understand, and I hope it will improve because if I let you do it, then it’s really unfair to
the others.”
You should be especially concerned when the problem is not temporary (for example,
the traffic was bad) then you need to talk to them about alternatives. An example
might be they cannot take their child to school before a certain hour and this makes
them late. Help them to think of ideas about what to do. Can you work out a flexible
schedule? Some companies and work situations can accommodate this and others
can’t. Something as simple as “come in 15 minutes later and you can take 15
minutes off your lunch break or work 15 minutes later in the evening” could be all
that’s needed. Even if this has never been tried in your organization, you may want
to pose this to management, especially if it would give you some extra coverage and
the person is a good employee.
If flexible scheduling is simply not an option where you work, then get the employee
to create a specific plan with you about how they are going to get to work on time:

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set their alarm 15 minutes earlier, cut down morning prep time, and make other child
care arrangements, drive to work another way— whatever the solution may be. Get
them to clearly say it to you and verbally commit to do it. Shake hands with them and
tell them you know they can do it. They should understand that the next step may be
a written warning (a write-up), and they do not want that on their record.
One common situation is where the person is intermittently late, not often enough or
maybe not late enough to result in a written warning, but still bad for department
morale. It’s almost as if some of them know exactly how far to push this, stopping just
short of the limit. It’s a good idea to bring them in and talk to them about the pattern
you have observed. The pattern could be an indication of an attitude problem, and
that will take all the patience you can muster. Again, begin by asking them what’s
going on. Tell them you’re disappointed in them and that others are complaining. If
the offender won’t correct the problem, begin documenting every day that they are
late, and what time they arrived. If your company has a policy about how often a
person can be late within a certain time period and receive a written warning, then
follow the guidelines. Otherwise, consult with your manager or human resources
department. If necessary, the logical conclusion to this problem is termination. See
Challenge 6. Turnover always costs the company money, so use termination as a
last resort.
********
Mike owned a delicatessen. He had 12 full-time and four part-time employees. Mike
was an amiable guy, loved his work and his customers, and tried to treat his
employees like friends. June worked for Mike as a cashier. June was a single
mother who also worked another job too, to make ends meet. When June first
started coming in late, Mike didn’t do anything. He tried to cover for her, knowing she
was under a lot of pressure. Another employee finally said, “Mike, this is getting out
of hand; it’s affecting all of us when June isn’t here on time.” Mike agreed he would
have to talk to her. Still, he put it off next time she was there, rationalizing that they
were really busy, and June had only been five minutes late.
Next time she was scheduled June was 20 minutes late, and Mike realized he would
have to talk to her. So once they got over the lunch rush, Mike took June into his tiny
office and began. He asked why she was late, and she said she overslept because
she had worked at her other job until late last night. Mike told her he realized he had
let things go on too long—he should have talked to her earlier, but he had wanted to
be patient, knowing she had a lot of responsibilities. He also told her that other
employees were starting to complain, and that if she continued to be late, he would
have to let her go. June started to cry and told him that she just couldn’t lose this job
because it was her rent money. She promised to do better.
Mike felt really bad for June after it was over, but he realized it had to be done. It
evidently worked because June wasn’t late again—at least not for the next few
weeks. Now he would have to wait and see whether her improved timeliness would
continue.

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Points to remember:
1) Intervene early; talk to the employee informally just as soon as you notice the
tardiness.
2) Always listen to their explanation and help them problem solve if possible.
3) Be firm about enforcing the rules, and institute progressive discipline if the
problem continues.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 12. “I’ve got two people fighting.”

____________________________________________________________________
o Just settle it yourself by taking one side or the other.

o Ignore it and let them work it out—eventually.
You may be tempted…but you shouldn’t do either of these things. You need to think
“win-win” for both sides. Whenever you tell them what to do or choose one side over
the other, you automatically move to “win-lose.” Here’s what you can do to see to it
that everyone wins, including you.
~~~~~~~~~~
You can and you should ignore a little tiff that occurs among your staff. Most little
disagreements soon blow over. If that little conflict continues and begins to involve
others in the group, possibly making them walk on eggshells or take sides, then it’s
time for the supervisor to intervene. Rarely is a conflict the fault of just one party, so
there’s usually blame enough for both. It’s important to remember, however, that
solving the conflict means completely skipping over and ignoring whose “fault” it is, so
let go of the blame game. It really won’t matter who started it or who is more
deserving of blame when you move to resolution.
The first thing to do is meet with each one separately. Begin by stating that the
conflict between them and the other person has gotten out of hand and is beginning
to affect the whole department. Say this calmly, without expressing anger yourself.
Ask them to tell you the facts of what happened. Do not side with either person. You
should simply be a listener for each person. Take a few notes if you need to. You
can show concern and support by thanking each one for being honest. You can also
explain that, together, you are going to work on making things better for the sake of
the whole department as well as for each of them. Most people will acknowledge that
it’s not pleasant to come to work when they are fighting with someone all the time.
After speaking to both of them and gathering facts, you will get a sense of how ready
they are to stop feuding and get on with things. If one or both are quite willing you
might want to suggest they get together by themselves and come to some peaceful
agreement—no blame, just shake hands and let it go, resolving to treat each other
more respectfully in the future. Sometimes it may even help to put them in a room
alone and tell them to stay there until they work it out.
Many conflicts won’t be settled so peacefully, however. If this is the case, then as the
supervisor you need to remain firm that the conflict be resolved. It’s no longer just
their issue when it’s affecting morale and performance. The organization has a right
to expect proper work attitudes, so let them know their behavior must change.

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If they are “moderately ready” to talk (i.e., they still feel hurt and anger but they will
listen to reason when you talk to them), this is probably a case where you should
meet with them together and be their third party mediator. That’s not as hard as it
may sound; the mediation procedure is explained below.
If one or both are extremely angry and completely unwilling to “let it go,” this is a
situation where you should ask for some help. Ask your manager for advice. Many
managers, however, have few conflict resolution skills themselves. They may offer
to, or tell you to, go to each person and issue a direct order for them to stop fighting
and work together. This is not the best way to handle it. If you do it this way, things
may improve on the surface, but resentment is still simmering. Eventually one of
them will probably quit or transfer. In the meantime, you are stuck with a poor attitude
and marginal performance.
If you have a Human Resources Department, then by all means, go to them for
advice. They may have someone on staff who can advise you or can be a third party
mediator. If the situation is thorny enough and the employees are valued enough,
they may want to bring in an outside mediator. The cost of turnover is high, and
many employees are worth saving. If all else fails, progressive discipline may be
needed, something like a written warning which states that the next incident of conflict
may result in termination. See Challenge 6 on discipline and termination. In only rare
cases should it ever need to get to the point of forced termination.
How to Mediate a Conflict
Schedule a time when you and the two employees in conflict can get together in the
same room. Allow plenty of time to work through the steps. It’s common for these
things to take at least two hours, but it will be two hours well-invested when you
resolve the issue—and you are very likely to resolve it with a mediation.
Welcome both of them and thank them for being willing to get together to make things
better, both for themselves and for the sake of everybody on the team. Make sure
the two people are seated in a position where they can look at each other. Explain
what’s going to happen in your discussion. The discussion must be conducted by the
rules.
First, each one of them will get a chance to tell their story, one at a time, without
interruption. They will speak with respect, telling only the facts and how they felt
about the situation, but without casting blame. You must interrupt them if they start to
become accusatory of the other person. There will be no name-calling and no
emotional outbursts. This is a work setting, and they are both adults. While Person X
is talking Person Y must simply listen. While Person Y is talking Person X must listen
carefully. They can take a few notes if they want but are not allowed to write the
whole time. Make sure each is agreeable to the rules.
Decide who speaks first by drawing straws, picking a number, or some other random
way, and let the first person tell their story fully. If one of them gets upset and

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interrupts the other, then make sure you enforce the rules fully by calmly and firmly
jumping in and saying, “Remember, we will not interrupt each other. You will have
your turn in a few minutes.”
When both have finished their first round, allow the first speaker to make a few more
remarks if he/she wishes. Keep it short in this second round. Then the second
speaker also gets a chance to add anything. The value of each person telling their
story is that by the time these two rounds are finished, they have each had a chance
to really listen to each other’s experiences and gain a better understanding of why the
other person behaved as he or she did. Even if they still do not agree, this increased
level of understanding forms the basis of a possible resolution.
You are now ready for the next step. This time it’s your turn, supervisor. Thank them
again for their honesty and their good listening. Summarize in a short sentence or
two what each of them said. Look for any points of agreement that you see, even if
it’s as simple as “I know you both want to get past this thing so you can get on with
your jobs and reduce your stress at work.” Tell them it really doesn’t matter who is to
blame. What you are going to do now is figure out how to resolve the conflict and
work together better in the future.
Get out a flip chart or go to the whiteboard and help them brainstorm answers to the
question “So what do we do now?” All three of you should think of ideas for how to
creatively solve the problem or compromise, correct any mistake that remains, and
work together respectfully in the future. Let them do as much of the talking as
possible, and encourage them to talk to each other, mainly, and not to you. Make as
big a list as possible before you start narrowing the ideas down. As you discuss
ideas, you now have the two of them working together to solve the problem—people
are together on one side, and the problem is on the other side, whereas before they
were each on their own “side.”
Decide together what action you will take and get them to verbally agree on this and
shake hands on it. You may want to consider letting them write down the agreement
and sign their name and date it.
When you close the session, do so by praising them for their hard work. Let them
know that you expect them to live up to the new standards and that it means a lot to
everyone that they get along better.
This kind of resolution, in contrast to issuing an order, does not build resentment but
clears the air for a better working relationship. It may still take time to build better
habits of thought and behavior. But the parties in conflict will often experience a
renewed sense of respect for you and for each other and build a satisfactory working
relationship.
Many times you can work things out with these steps, but not in all cases. If things
don’t move forward after your mediation, it may be time to be more insistent. You
may need to end your first session by saying to each person: “The expectation is that
you will put your differences aside and work together better. This conflict is disrupting

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the department. We will get together again in one week, during which time I want you
to think about what you are willing to do to move forward. Your performance will
partly be judged on your willingness to improve things between you.”
Another alternative, if things continue to go badly, is to consider getting a professional

mediator involved, or as a last resort, utilize your progressive discipline process
(Challenge 6).
********
Alex was the sales manager for a company that sold educational software to public
and private schools. His company recently acquired another company whose
software market was colleges and universities. Now he had three new employees to
integrate with his other seven sales reps. Things seemed to be going pretty well for
the first few months after the transition. Alex had worked hard to train the new sales
people and to make them feel welcome. Lately things seemed to fall apart.
He had been with this company for nine years, six as sales manager, and he had
seldom encountered a stickier problem than his current one. One of the new sales
reps and one of his original reps were having significant conflict. They now covered a
portion of the same geographic region, although they had different accounts. They
seemed to have completely different sales and personality styles, and they really
rubbed each other the wrong way. Jill, who had been with Alex for two years, was
quite a go-getter in her sales style. Bob was an older, more-seasoned sales person
who had worked for the company acquired by Alex’s company. His style was very
relaxed, and he considered Jill pushy and offensive. Bob and Jill were competing for
his attention, for marketing dollars, and were now asking other people to take sides.
The new reps were squarely on Bob’s “side,” and this rift was threatening to undo the
fragile unity he had begun to develop in the sales department.
Alex had spoken with each of them individually, and they were both convinced that
they were completely right and the other one was wrong. Bob thought Jill had singled
him out for mistreatment and was being completely unreasonable. Jill thought Bob
was incompetent and thought he should be replaced. This had to stop because it
was causing division and turmoil for others in the office, but Alex didn’t know what in
the world to do.
Alex talked to his manager about the situation. The manager advised him to contact
the local mediation service for advice on how to handle this conflict. Alex did and
talked to a very helpful woman who spent about an hour on the phone coaching him
on what to do. She sent him a publication listing the steps for a manager to use for
an office mediation between two employees. When Alex received the publication two
days later, he read it carefully and made notes for himself. He had already completed
the first step—meeting with each party individually. He was ready to set up a meeting
for the three of them.
He talked to both Jill and Bob and asked them to come to his office on Tuesday at
3:00 so they could all three discuss the situation. Bob arrived on time; he admitted he

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was nervous about talking to Jill. Jill was nearly ten minutes late. She greeted Alex,
and said a curt “hello” to Bob. Alex set the tone for a positive and calm meeting. He
explained the rules of being open and honest and truly listening, and of speaking
politely without name-calling. Each would take a turn explaining the situation from
their viewpoint while the other listened completely. They would, then, be asked to
summarize what the other person said. He asked Bob to go first.
At first Bob was reluctant, but Alex continued to prompt him, as the woman at the
mediation center had instructed him. He finally got Bob to come out with all his
frustrations of the last six months, the uncertainties of the buy-out, and how Jill’s lack
of acceptance had just been the final straw. Jill started to interrupt twice, and Alex
stepped in and told her that she would have her turn in a minute. Finally, when Bob
finished, Alex asked Jill to summarize briefly what he had said. She did, although
without enthusiasm.
Then it was Jill’s turn. She told her side of the story, and her voice gradually got
calmer. She actually said what she needed to say without completely blaming and
demeaning Bob. When she finished speaking Bob summarized nicely. Each was
given a chance to say anything else they wanted to say to the other one. Bob asked
Jill a question which she answered politely enough. Alex could tell that both seemed
calmer and had a better understanding and appreciation of the other. He decided to
add something here that the woman at the mediation center had not included but that
he thought was a nice idea. He spoke a couple of sentences to each one, telling
them the good things about their work that he had noticed. He wanted them both to
understand that he and others in the department could appreciate and support both of
them, even though they had different styles. Maybe there were even things they
could learn from each other. Both of them seemed pleased with his comments.
Alex then told them that he wanted their ideas on how to move forward from here.
What could they do to try to work together more cooperatively in the future? He
moved to his whiteboard, in position to write down their ideas. For a moment neither
of them spoke and Alex started to worry that it was all going to fall apart. Then Bob
spoke up and said that maybe they should have better communication to share
information on accounts and referrals, like a weekly phone call. From there they
listed several ideas. After listing them all, Alex asked each of them which of these
things they were willing to commit to. They each agreed to several things they would
do to try to improve relationships.
It didn’t happen overnight but it did happen. Bob and Jill gradually began to talk to
each other more and more, and the tension in the office lessened noticeably. Alex
felt very pleased that he had been able to be the catalyst for settling this conflict.

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Points to remember:
1) Get those who are fighting together face to face.

2) Insist they listen respectfully to each other’s perspective.
3) Problem-solve with them jointly to move forward.
4) Hold them accountable for new behavior standards.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 13. “I think two of my people are romantically involved.”

____________________________________________________________________
Your first reaction might be to:
• Pretend like it’s not happening and avoid the subject entirely.
• Put your foot down and order them to have no contact for fear of morale or
productivity loss.
Don’t go to either of these extremes in the case of a romance, and here’s why.
~~~~~~~~~~
Office romances are increasingly common. Workdays are often long and stressful.
People may become attracted to each other when they spend a lot of time together,
and there is little an organization can do to change that.
If you are a supervisor or manager, you should remain observant of a possible or

confirmed romance in your department. Some organizations frown on this kind of
thing or even have policies against such relationships. If so, you will need to enforce
your policy. Even if you are in a more tolerant organization it’s a good idea to bring it
to management’s attention and keep an eye on things. There are actually both some
good and some not-so-good things about office romances. Let’s begin with a few of
the negatives first.
There could be performance issues. If one or both of them is spending too much time
in the other’s office or work station, or if they are finding a place to hide together
during work time, then you potentially have a performance issue. It should be treated
like any other performance issue. See Challenge 18. Speak to them, and assume it
will be no further problem. It may surprise you to know that the research that’s been
done on this issue has found that productivity gains are a more likely outcome of a
romance than a productivity decrease. We’ll discuss this further in a minute.
Another negative is the office romance that turns sour. If a break-up occurs, then co-
workers may find themselves taking sides or walking on eggshells. If the animosity is
negatively impacting the morale or productivity of others, then you’ll need to speak
separately to the parties and possibly take some action, such as transferring one of
them to another department. Perhaps the worst fallout from a break-up is the
potential for charges of sexual harassment, especially if one of the parties is a
manager. You will certainly not want to put your company at risk. Such charges are
serious and should be handled like any other charge of harassment—take this to your
human resources department, and be ready to help them, if needed, in the
investigation.

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If you are concerned at all about your own career do not let yourself get involved
romantically with someone in your department or with your own manager. Even if you
are discrete, management will frown on this, and you will be the target of charges of
favoritism—whether or not favoritism really exists—and the butt of jokes, possibly
causing you to lose your workers’ respect.
If one or both parties are married, the organization could have an angry spouse or
two to contend with. However, there is relatively little the company can do about this
beyond a coaching session to help them consider the ethical implications of what they
are doing.
There are a few good—or at least neutral—aspects of a workplace romance. In the

first place, it’s really not the organization’s business, especially if job performance
continues to remain high. The largest percentage of both CEO’s and employees
surveyed in a recently-published study believe that a romance is a personal issue and
not a company issue.
With long and stressful hours common in many workplaces, love can be a great boost
for a couple’s morale. There is, in fact, evidence that romance may spur productivity.
Whether or not attraction leads to a relationship, the increased sexual energy often
leads to greater productivity as they channel the energy into their work. The
company benefits from this renewed energy or the couple’s desire to impress each
other by turning in superior performance.
In cases where the workers marry, they settle into a routine in which the company
plays an important role. They understand each other’s jobs better and know the
personalities of co-workers more than the typical married couple.
If your company has a “no fraternization” policy, you may be on shaky legal ground to
enforce this kind of a rule. You are within your rights to coach or counsel both parties
about the situation and to encourage them to keep all contact outside working hours.
If others are prone to gossip, do your best to give no credibility to the rumors; it is
none of their business, either. You may find additional pointers in Challenge 31 on
dealing with gossip and rumors. A good rule of thumb in most cases is probably to
keep an eye on the situation but don’t get overly concerned unless performance or
morale is clearly an issue.
If the relationship breaks up, be sure to monitor the aftermath. If the breakup is
hostile and other employees are expected to take sides, it’s time to meet with both
parties separately and let them know that this kind of behavior is unacceptable. Their
job performance is at stake, and a negative attitude could reflect badly on their
review.
********
“It kinda looks to me like there is something going on between Kate and Rob. And
that’s the scuttlebutt, too. Rob seems to be spending a lot more time over here these
days and always close to Kate,” Larry told his boss, Kelly.

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Kelly sighed. “I hate these things. There’s really not much anybody can do, unless it
starts to result in one or both of them not getting their jobs done. Then it becomes
our business. But it sure can complicate things if it goes bad between them. When I
worked at the university, we had a romance that went bad, and the administrative
offices were a mess for months afterward. The man finally got another job, and we
were all relieved. So just keep an eye on things, and keep me posted.”
“Kate’s still doing a good job. She’s one of the best clerks I’ve ever had.”
“I know,” said Kelly, “so we sure don’t want to lose her.”
Larry took Kelly’s advice, and over the next few weeks he just observed Kate, the
best clerk in his billing office. The relationship with the new computer network
technician down the hall continued. From time to time, he would hear the other clerks
making comments and laughing about Kate’s boyfriend and other similar things. But
he stayed out of it, and Kate didn’t say anything to him.
One day he saw Rob’s boss, the IT manager, in the hallway and he brought up the
situation. Art told him that Rob was a good worker, and he didn’t think it was a
problem because they were both unattached. Both of them seemed to get their work
done, so he wasn’t concerned.
Over the next few months Rob and Kate seemed to become even more of an item.
They ate lunch together every day and often left work together, presumably spending
time together after work. Kate still had not said anything to Larry, but he had heard
her tell her co-workers when she was teased that, “Rob was very special, and she
really liked him.”
One Monday morning Kate called in sick, and when she returned on Tuesday, she
was visibly depressed and quiet. Rob was nowhere to be seen, and Larry overheard
one of his other workers ask Kate about him. She said they had broken up over the
weekend, and that’s all she would say about it at first. She stuck very close to the
office and seemed to throw herself into her work. The next day, she began talking to
one of the other women in the office that she was friends with. She said Rob had
broken up with her, and she was devastated. She still hoped he would come to his
senses, but she wanted to avoid him for a little while until she could face seeing him
again. She had her pride and would not grovel to get him back.
Larry happened to walk in during this time, while she was crying and telling her friend
about her situation. Not knowing what had happened to make her cry, Larry asked
her what was wrong. Kate said, “Oh, it’s Rob…” Larry asked if she wanted to talk
about it. Kate hesitated and then nodded. She followed Larry into his office and
proceeded to tell him the whole story. She really loved Rob and was heartbroken
with the breakup. Larry tried to listen patiently. After she had said what she needed
to say, he encouraged her to throw herself into her work and to use it as therapy. He
told her about the situation that Kelly had had at the university where a romance had
turned really sour, and both parties had enlisted people to be on their “side” after the

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break-up. “I’d like for you to consider seeing an employee-assistance counselor to
get advice and support,” Larry said. “If possible, we don’t want yours or Rob’s career
or job performance to be tarnished by anything as sticky as what Kelly had at the
university. I think you are much more sensible than that, but I encourage you to get
some support to get through this time.” Kate agreed to look into some counseling.
Larry told her he appreciated her dedication to her work and her star performance.
He said he knew she could get through this.
When he told Kelly later about what had happened and what he had suggested, they
both expressed the hope that Kate could handle the break-up in a mature way that
did not involve the taking of sides. They would both need to keep a close eye on the
situation.
Points to remember:
1) Monitor the situation carefully to ascertain whether performance is being

negatively impacted.
2) Remind the parties of any company policy you may have, but be careful not to
infringe on their private matters.
3) If a hostile breakup occurs, counsel both parties that petty behavior and
asking employees to take sides is unacceptable and could impact negatively
on their performance appraisals or careers.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 14. “I have an employee who I think is being unethical.”

____________________________________________________________________
o Let it go because, after all, it’s hard to confront somebody if you’re not
absolutely certain they are doing what you suspect.
o Assume it’s none of your business and forget about it.
But don’t. This is very serious, so don’t let it go on. The paragraphs below give you
some guidance in how to handle this.
~~~~~~~~~~
If you are noticing a possible problem, then chances are good others are suspecting
something too. If you fail to take action against your one or two perpetrators, then
others will lose all respect for you. When you let one person continue to get away
with something questionable, this is likely to spread like a cancer and infect others.
The organization’s ability to carry on its mission is violated when even one or two are
engaging in behaviors that are illegal, immoral, dishonest, or would be judged by
most people as “shady.” If the violation or suspected violation is quite serious, you
should get the advice and participation of your Human Resources Department. If you
do not have a Human Resources Department, consult with your manager.
Whether the offense is about questionable use of funds or other resources, treatment
of customers or suppliers, falsification of data, or something else, you should not wait
until you have specific and overwhelming proof. Do an informal coaching inquiry as
soon as you suspect something is amiss.
Sit down with the employee privately. Do not be accusatory or threatening. At this
early stage you are simply trying to gain an understanding of what’s happening. After
all, it is possible your impression is wrong, and there is a good explanation of the
behavior in question. Maintain an open mind. Tell them the facts of what you saw,
read, or overheard without being judgmental. Practice ahead of time how you will say
this to the person until you can say it in a business-like, non-threatening tone. End
your story by throwing it back to them and saying, “What is all that about?” or “What’s
going on here?”
It’s their responsibility, then, to offer an explanation. Does their explanation seem
believable? Could you have misinterpreted what went on? If it does, give them the
benefit of the doubt this first time by assuming they are telling the truth, unless it is a
very big offense, a blatant lie, or they can offer no explanation. Remind them firmly
but kindly what kind of behavior is expected of someone in your department and your
organization. You can and should continue to observe what comes next. Have they

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reformed and mended their ways? Are they, in fact, continuing the questionable
behavior despite your warning? Be observant and gather new evidence, if needed.
If the offense is quite large, or if they admit to doing something unethical, you should
plan to institute some type of discipline, such as a written warning with the next step
being termination. If the offense is large in magnitude, you may place them on
suspension, with possible termination after you investigate more thoroughly. Of the
options available to you, consider what may be appropriate for the particular offense.
Rather than make this decision of the appropriate disciplinary step on your own, tell
your employee you will have to discuss this with some other people before you
decide what should be done in this case. Then consult with your own manager
and/or with your Human Resources Department. If the employee will not admit to any
wrongdoing, you will want to investigate much more closely in order to be sure you
have the evidence you need to legally terminate them.
While the incident should be kept as confidential as possible, it may even be

necessary to get other members of management in on the situation. By using
multiple decision-makers, you are likely to come out with the best decision possible
for the long-term good of the organization. Any organization that allows shady
practices is unlikely to be around long-term.
********
Ramon thought he had a problem. His newest employee, Phil, had come to him
about six months ago and had good lab research credentials. As the manager of
research and development for one division of a national poultry producer, Ramon
always tried to select employees with good research backgrounds. Phil had been a
good person to have on the team. At least he was when he first started. Now Ramon
was not so sure.
Phil and two other researchers had been running independent trials on a new
combination of ingredients for a turkey snack food. One of the other researchers on
the project had commented that Phil had seemed to be flying through his studies and
getting superior results in comparison to the other two. Ramon decided to look at the
data for himself, and, sure enough, Phil’s data deviated rather sharply from the
findings of the other researchers.
The only logical explanation for something like this was that some of the data was
being fabricated. The other two on the project had been with him for years, and he
had never known them to be anything other than scrupulously honest. He hated not
to trust Phil, but he simply could think of no other explanation. But that didn’t really
make sense either, because if he was “cheating,” surely he knew he would get caught
by being so far out of line with the others on the study. Ramon decided he had to talk
to Phil, so he asked Phil to come to his office.
He asked Phil to close the door, and Ramon presented him with the comparison of
the data. At first Phil denied that he had been doing anything wrong. He insisted that

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his methods and his results were “by the book,” and he did not have an explanation
for why two of his colleagues were getting more modest results. Finally Ramon said,
“I don’t like accusing people of something like this, Phil, but I just have no other
explanation of these results. Have you altered this data?” When confronted with a
direct accusation, Phil finally admitted his culpability. He said he was being
considered for a position as R & D Manager for a competitor, and he had wanted his
research records to look outstanding. He had just taken a little liberty with the data.
He begged Ramon not to tell anyone and not to get him in trouble so as to jeopardize
his possible employment with the new company.
Now Ramon had an ethical dilemma himself. His inclination was to fire Phil. After all,
this company’s future rested partly on the data collected in its research labs, and their
recommendations for new products were taken as significant drivers of the company’s
success. He was also inclined to call the other company and let them know about
Phil’s actions. After all, if he would cheat to get the job, he would probably cheat
while on the job. Just how far should Ramon go with this?
Ramon told Phil, “I want to think about this for a day or so. I may still let you go over
this incident, but frankly, I am going to consult with HR about this and get their advice.
I’ll talk to you as soon as I make my decision. In the meantime, I want you to go back
to helping with the regular sample testing where you started out when you came here.
I’ll move Jan to your project and let her work with Allan and Bill; she can start over
with it.”
When he consulted with the HR manager later that day about Phil, Ramon’s
impression was confirmed. Angela’s advice was that Phil should be fired for this.
This was a serious enough incident and one that he clearly knew was wrong; she did
not think they should keep him on the payroll. It would be awfully hard to trust him
after this. As for whether or not they would call the competitor and blow the whistle
on Phil, she decided to wait and make that decision when Phil came to her for his exit
interview tomorrow morning, right after Ramon terminated him. She would decide
whether there was any remorse and if he had learned his lesson. At that point, she
and Ramon would confer again about whether to call the competitor. Ramon thought
this was a good idea, and he made himself ready to carry out the plan first thing
tomorrow morning.
Points to remember:
1) If you suspect anything unethical, have an informal coaching inquiry session

with the employee immediately.
2) Ask for an explanation; give them the benefit of the doubt if you can but be
observant of their ongoing behavior.
3) Remind the employee of your expected standards of behavior.
4) If the offense is grave or they admit to wrongdoing, consider suspension while
you investigate further.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 15. “I’ve got an employee who tries hard and just can’t get it.”
____________________________________________________________________
o Let it slide because they try so hard, and you keep hoping they will catch on.
o Get rid of them right away because they are incompetent.
But don’t. Here is what you should do.
~~~~~~~~~~
Because it’s costly to lose an employee and have to rehire and retrain, don’t be too
hasty to fire them, but you can’t completely let it go, either. If you have an employee
who seems to be trying and wants to do a good job but can’t catch on to the work,
this is a real dilemma. On the one hand, you appreciate their enthusiasm and
commitment, and they are often very likeable members of the team. On the other
hand, you and others begin to get frustrated at having to do a share of this person’s
work, or correct mistakes they have made.
When you first notice deficient performance and slowness in catching on, ask yourself
whether they have had enough time to actually learn the job. Have they been
adequately trained? How long does it take other people in a similar position to learn
the job? It does take some people longer to learn something new than others, and
they may still be able to improve. Your first course of action is probably to retrain
them on all or part of their job tasks to see if that helps. Observe or ask them what
they are still having trouble with and focus training efforts on that.
If that doesn’t seem to work, talk to the employee privately. Ask them how they like
the job and especially ask how they think they are catching on. Listen carefully—is
there any sign of doubt or frustration for them, too? Most people have an idea when
something is difficult for them. They realize that others have to help them or that they
are slower than their co-workers. Whether they do or do not admit to having some
trouble with the job, you need to tell them, honestly, what you see. “Your positive
attitude is a great asset here, but I’ve noticed that it takes you a long time to complete
the data entry and generate the daily reports. I’m concerned about whether you’re
really catching on, and I want to take some steps to help you improve.” If you
approach the situation from a proactive and helpful position, this will promote a
continuation of their good attitude. If you take a lecturing approach with them, it will
not improve their performance, and it will almost certainly make their attitude worse
than it was.
Ask them for their suggestions as to what would help them. It could be they learn
more slowly or that they were not adequately prepared for the job; it may be different
than they expected. Will more training help? Can they shadow someone? Can they

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take on only one task or project at a time and learn that thoroughly before they move
to the next part of the job? Can they take a class? Can you work with them on an
instructional or coaching basis?
If your slow employee wants to continue in the job, the two of you should agree on a
plan of action to improve their performance. Agree that you two will confer again
privately on a certain date a few weeks in the future. You should make them aware
of the performance standards you are expecting. If a certain amount or quality of
output is expected of everyone, they need to be able to meet the same standards
after a generous trial period. Make sure they are clear about what you expect. Then
be diligent yourself in the follow-up with them, and check in frequently with your
employee to give them immediate and frequent feedback. Compliment them
profusely for any progress they are making. If their performance has not met your
standards by the date you have jointly set, you will need to decide if there is another
position or department which might be better suited to their interests or abilities. If
not, termination may be the only option. Otherwise, you run the risk of reducing the
entire team’s morale, if one person’s performance drags the group down.
Advice on terminating with dignity is in Challenge 6. If you have an employee who is

not catching on and also has a poor attitude, refer to Challenge 18 which discusses
how to deal with someone who refuses to perform.
********
Southern Security Insurance Company was an underwriter of home and business

insurance in the southeast U.S. Vicki, the claims manager, had eight claims adjustors
working for, her including her newest team member, Donnie. Donnie was a likeable
guy with twelve years of construction experience. Her claimants liked Donnie—at first
anyway. She had recently gotten a number of complaints about the information
Donnie had passed on; he was giving people erroneous information. Donnie had
worked for her for nearly four months, and he was just not catching on. At first he
had asked questions when he didn’t know something, but lately he seemed to think
he knew the answers…and he didn’t.
Vicki decided she had to sit down and talk with Donnie. The next day she got her
chance and called him into her office. She began by asking him how he thought he
was doing. Donnie was cheerful and said he really liked it and thought he was doing
a great job. He was very attentive to customers, just like he thought he was
supposed to be in a company that emphasized good customer service.
Vicki told him that she knew customers liked him, but she needed to tell him that she
had gotten some complaints lately about the information he had been giving out.
Donnie was upset that people would be critical of him. She proceeded to tell him
exactly which claims had been handled incorrectly and explained to him in each case
what was wrong. Vicki was patient but thorough. She did not let his emotion stop her
from saying what needed to be said.

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She asked Donnie what else they could do for him to help him catch on to the job.
They appreciated his enthusiasm and really needed him, but it was important to be
thorough and to ask for the answers if he didn’t know how to respond to a customer’s
question. In each case, it seemed, Donnie hadn’t really known the answer so he had
made up his best guess, based on his limited experience, rather than seem like he
didn’t know and make the customer have to wait for an answer. Vicki told him that he
absolutely could not continue to do that—accuracy was one of the keys to customer
service. Accuracy was even more important than promptness.
She asked if he would like to be assigned to a mentor in the department. She had
used Miguel once before in a mentoring role with a new adjustor and found him to be
helpful and a good trainer. She had asked Miguel whether he would be willing to do
this again, and he had agreed. Donnie also agreed to try this solution. Vicki told him
she was sure he could learn all the needed information, and his future progress in the
job was dependent on his progress in the next month. She and Donnie arranged to
get back together one month from today to review his progress. Privately, Vicki was
not at all sure Donnie was going to make it, but this would make or break his
employment. He was on notice now that his performance was not acceptable. The
next month would tell her whether or not Donnie would have to be terminated.
Points to remember:
1) Ask for their assistance on how you can help them improve; provide additional
training and instruction.
2) Set a plan and a deadline for improvement.
3) Compliment any and all progress you see in the right direction.
4) If all else fails, terminate them with dignity.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 16. “I have to supervise somebody I don’t like.”

____________________________________________________________________
You might want to:
o Look for ways to fire them.

o Tell them off.
o Avoid them completely.
But don’t. Here’s what to do instead.
~~~~~~~~~~
Admit to yourself that you have a bad attitude about this person. It may honestly feel
to you that your bad attitude is justified, based on what the person has done.
Whatever the reason and whenever it started, they push your buttons…and they
know it. They may seem to take delight at being able to get to you or throw you off.
When you let this happen, they are in control, and you are not. In order to regain
your sense of confidence and self-respect, you are going to have to come to some
kind of truce. You can’t do your job effectively under these conditions. You, as the
manager, will have to be the one to initiate a change.
Begin by making a list of three or four good qualities this irritating person has. Write
them down! There must be a few things the person does well. If not, they shouldn’t
be working for your organization. Because you dislike them, you have distorted your
thinking to believe that they are all bad. Be honest, now! This person, just like
everyone else, including you, has both good and bad qualities.
After you have made your list, look for the next possible opportunity to notice one of
these good things about your difficult employee. Take a deep breath and give them
an honest compliment. Just make yourself do this. “Thanks for helping clear up that
backlog, Pete. We all appreciate it.” Continue to find opportunities to say something
pleasant to this person. At first they may mistrust you, but keep it up anyway. Watch
their response over the next couple of weeks. They will nearly always begin to soften
their attitude toward you; this will help you begin to like them just a little bit better.
The idea here is not that you intend to make this difficult person into a good friend.
You are simply trying to move to a place where you can tolerate and accept each
other. Forget what they have done in the past. It’s over. You are trying to build a
better future. You must keep going out of your way to be nice to them. Gradually,
over time, you will be able to grow this to a mutual respect, and you are likely to find
this person turning into a supporter, if you remain positive with them. We can all learn
to respect even those people we strongly disagree with and those with whom we
have little in common.

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Turning the person you don’t like into someone you can tolerate is entirely in your
hands, and it will diminish your supervisory headaches tremendously. Your
employee will feel more a part of the team and is much less likely to be perceived as
a trouble-maker. It’s up to you to initiate the changes. If they are making your life
miserable, then swallow your pride and just do it. It will give you a tremendous
feeling of confidence and control.
********
Carlos was the first-shift line supervisor at an air conditioning manufacturer. Last
month he had lost a welder on his line and his boss, Gary, the production manager,
had moved a welder, Dave, from second shift to first. Dave had seniority and was a
good welder, so it was logical to move him to the preferred shift. The trouble was
that Carlos did not like him from the very first day. He considered Dave to be loud
and obnoxious. Dave did not take supervision or instruction well.
Dave’s attitude and comments also bordered on offensive. Carlos was proud of his
Puerto Rican heritage. He was aware that he had to continue to prove himself,
although his machine operating skill and mechanical ability and his quiet, but firm
style of leadership made him a natural choice for line supervisor. He knew that there
were a few people who thought he had gotten promoted just to make the company
look more diverse.
Try as he might, Carlos just could not stand being around Dave, so he began to avoid
him. Whereas before Dave came on board, Carlos had spent a considerable portion
of his day being visible and approachable to his employees, he now spent more time
in his office. His boss noticed the change in his behavior and questioned him about
it. Carlos admitted that he was having a hard time adjusting to the “new guy.” Gary
told him that he was too good a supervisor to let that get to him, and he would have to
find a way to get along better with Dave.
Carlos finally decided to approach his Human Resources office, and there he found
Polly, the HR Manager, who had been helpful to him once before. Polly listened
patiently to Carlos’ concerns and gave him some advice. She instructed him to
continue being present out on the production floor the way he had always been. He
couldn’t allow his feelings about Dave to compromise his relationships with the rest of
his workers. She also told him that in order to neutralize Dave’s attitude, he would
have to try a bold step: try complimenting Dave or praising him. Because Dave was
a good welder, he did good work, and Carlos should purposely begin noticing and
acknowledging that. Carlos reluctantly agreed to try this. Polly asked him to come
back to see her in two weeks to tell her how it was going.
He wanted to start immediately before he could talk himself out of it, so Carlos went
directly to the floor and began wandering around and speaking to people, the way he
always had. He made himself speak a pleasant word to Dave also. Dave grunted in
response, but he did not say anything offensive.

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Later that day when Carlos walked around again, he paid attention and noticed that at
some point Dave had cleared out the work area, and it was looking much cleaner and
more organized. So he commented on that. “You’ve got things looking a lot better
here. Thank you for that,” he said.
“Glad you finally noticed,” said Dave, but he was smiling, and he said it without
hostility.
Carlos smiled back and continued his rounds. He thought to himself, “Well, now we
have broken the ice, and I just have to keep at it. But I’m still not sure this will actually
work.”
Through the next couple of weeks he went out of his way to be nicer and more
complimentary to Dave. To his surprise, it really did seem to be working. Dave was a
bit less obnoxious and offensive. Maybe they were just coming to a point of truce
after learning to know more of what they could expect from each other.
When he went back to see Polly a couple of weeks later, he told her he thought it was
working, and he never really thought it would. He had really only tried it because he
had no other idea. Polly smiled and told him she thought Dave just needed some
attention and had been trying to get it in negative ways when he first came to the
department. “Dave also may have been testing you a little,” she said. “He wanted to
see if he could get to you and get the upper hand. When you didn’t let him do that,
he developed a new respect for you. Keep it up—you’re doing a good job,” Polly told
him as he left her office. Carlos felt pleased that he was succeeding where it had
seemed hopeless, and he gained a new sense of self-confidence in his own
supervisory ability.
Points to remember:
1) Work on your own attitude – keep an open mind that it is possible to improve.
2) Look for something the person does well.
3) Make yourself compliment them for anything they do well--even if it makes you
cringe.
4) Continue going out of your way to be respectful.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 17. “One of the people I’m supervising is my best friend.”

____________________________________________________________________
o Ignore them completely on the job so others won’t accuse you of favoritism.
o Continue your friendship exactly the same as it’s always been.
But you can’t really do this. Here’s what you should do.
~~~~~~~~~~
One case in which this situation can arise is where you have a good friend at your
job, and you get promoted, so you are now supervising your good friend. Another
example is if you are the supervisor and have worked a long time with a particular
person and really like them, you may think of them as a good friend, even though you
are their boss. For some supervisors it may be a situation where you were working at
the company and hire your well-qualified friend into your department. No matter how
it came about, supervising your friend can put you in a difficult position for these
reasons:
1) Other employees may resent you or resent your friend because these
employees perceive you as favoring your friend.
2) Your friend may, consciously or unconsciously, expect you to be easy on

them because they are your friend. They may even get upset with you if
you offer them any kind of corrective feedback, which is part of your job.
As soon as possible, you need to have a serious talk with your friend. Sit down with
them privately in your office or conference room. The setting needs to be business
and not personal. Tell them you are concerned about people’s perception of your
friendship with them, and you want to clarify how things are progressing, both as their
boss and as their friend. Tell them it puts you in a difficult supervisory position. If
they won’t listen and refuse to talk about it, you may need to re-examine whether they
are truly your friend. Tell them you have gotten some negative feedback about your
friendship, if you have.
Get them to discuss with you an acceptable description of how your friendship can
continue in a way that is more acceptable while you are at work. Some examples
would be:
1) Spend the same amount of chit-chat time or lunch break time with them as
you do with all your other employees. You can still spend time together off
the job if you intend to maintain the friendship, but not too much time while
at work.

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2) Go out of your way to include others who may have felt left out. See
Challenge 22 on building the team.
3) Tell your friend that you hold them, and will continue to hold them, to the
same standards as you hold everyone else. You have a responsibility to
the organization in your supervisory role, and you will fulfill it. Any true
friend will understand and respect you for this.
4) If the friendship is an important or long-standing one, plan special things

you can do outside of work hours, where you can catch up on your
personal lives.
5) Keep work at work. Keep personal separate from work.
Both you and your friend need to be able to clearly distinguish between those times
when you are acting in your supervisor role and those times when you are acting in
the friendship role. Work with them on some examples of situations that arise in your
specific workplace and the action you will need to take; tell them clearly what you
expect of them in return. When you are in management, managing workplace
friendships is important. It can, however, be done successfully if you and your friend
can both act in a mature and honest manner.
If you have the option and don’t already have a friend working for you, don’t develop
close personal relationships with your employees. Certainly, you should be “friendly”
and even socialize occasionally off the job. But the closer you get to an employee,
the more awkward it makes things for you as their supervisor. It will make your life
easier if you consider your employees “friends” and are friendly with them. But be
forewarned: to socialize with employees frequently or be good friends with them can
make your life very challenging indeed.
********
KB Construction is a small company with 12 employees on two crews. KB

specializes in building custom homes in the higher-end market. Sam had worked as
a frame carpenter for three years. Tim, his best friend from high school, began
working there when he got out of the Marines, not quite two years ago. The work was
hard but enjoyable. Their crew was very compatible. When Rodney, their crew chief,
left for a higher-paying job at a commercial construction company, Tim immediately
expressed interest in the job. Sam, whose style was much more reserved than Tim’s,
said he thought Tim would be great, especially after being a corporal in the Marines.
Tim got the job and began supervising Sam and the others. Tim tried to treat all of
them just like he had done before, but it soon became clear to him that he was no
longer “part of the gang,” as he had been before the promotion. On the weekends,
when he and Sam were going fishing or to a ballgame together, he thought he

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sensed that things weren’t quite like they were before. He decided to talk to Sam
about it.
Sam was reluctant to talk about work when they were off the job. He always wanted
to change the subject, and Tim really had to pin him down to get him to talk. When
he finally made Sam tell him what was going on with him and the others, Sam finally
told him they thought Tim was being too hard on them all. Sam had been getting
flack from the others because he was Tim’s friend, and the others wanted him to talk
to Tim and “calm him down” a little bit.
Sam gave him some examples of how he had been hard on them. At first Tim was
upset and barked back at Sam. “See,” said Sam, “That’s exactly why I didn’t want to
talk to you about work. I was afraid you’d get mad if we gave you any constructive
criticism at all.”
In a few minutes Tim had calmed down, and began to tell Sam how he hadn’t realized
there would be so much pressure on him from his superintendent. “I’ll tell you,” he
said, “things sure change once you get into supervision. I didn’t realize how much
different things would be. So what is it you and the guys want me to do or not do?”
Sam suggested he back off a little bit, give them more space, and less criticism; stop
looking over their shoulders every little bit. “Remember how Ed (their supervisor
before Rodney) used to do? He really gave us space, and we respected him and
worked our tails off for him. That’s what I’m talking about.” Tim agreed that he had
probably been a little too pushy in his effort to impress his superintendent and even to
impress the crew. He told Sam he’d try to balance things a little better.
“Do any of the guys resent our being friends, do you think? Do they think you get
special favors?” Tim asked. “No,” said Sam, “they even think you are probably
harder on me than on them. You are, you know.”
“It’s just I’ve been trying so hard not to show you any favoritism,” Tim replied. “I think
we just need to work it out better between you and me—what happens on the job and
what happens when we are hanging out together.”
“I’ve never expected any special favors,” said Sam, “but I also don’t want to have
more expected of me than the others.”
“You’re right,” said Tim. “Sometimes it is just hard to hit a happy medium.”
“Well, on the job why don’t you just treat me like we are not friends, just like I’m
another member of the crew, which I am,” said Sam. “Then when we’re off the job,
you can be my friend again.”
“It sounds simple, and I’m gonna try it. But, you know, you are going to have to help
me. Don’t be so close-mouthed. Give me some idea of how I’m doing with all this.
It’s pretty new to me. I promise not to jump down your throat. We’re too good o’
friends for that.”

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“Okay, buddy, you got it,” said Sam. They shook hands, and then got in the truck to
go down to the river for some good fishing.
Points to remember:
1) Have a serious conversation with your friend and clearly outline the rules for
working together.
2) A true friend will understand that you have a job to do and will respect that.
3) Don’t develop close friendships with those you supervise if you can help it.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 18. I’ve got an employee who just won’t do the work.”
____________________________________________________________________
o Put up with it, thinking this is the best you can do.
o Get angry with your employee and come down with an iron fist on them.
You might be tempted…but don’t. Here’s what to do instead.
~~~~~~~~~~
Generally, a person who takes every opportunity not to work is saying they have little
interest in you or your job. There may be a number of reasons—they don’t like you;
they don’t like the company; the job isn’t what they expected it to be; they have
personal or other distractions. That low-performing attitude may show itself in one of
several ways. The person may be fairly pleasant but let you know by word and deed
that, “I couldn’t care less.” At the other end of the scale, you may have the very
negative, “You just try and get a good day’s work out of me. I dare you.”
This type of employee is, fortunately, not the norm. Most people want to do a good
job at work. If you have too many employees with attitude problems, you should
consider looking at your own attitude first. Realize that the attitude you have toward
people is exactly the attitude you will bring forth from them. Try first being as
respectful, polite, and kind as you possibly can with your problem employee (even if
you know they don’t deserve it!)
Employees are seldom lazy or surly if they have a good relationship with their boss.
You can set the tone for a great deal of improvement in this area if you completely
change the way you relate to them. You can really disarm your negative employee if
you begin going out of your way to be nice to him or her. This may surprise them and
make them wonder what you are up to. Catch your employee at one of the (rare?)
times he or she is working well or has just turned in some good work, and thank them.
You have to do this, even if you don’t want to! Chat with them a minute. Observe
and listen carefully on the job to find out what does motivate them. What do they get
a spark from? Talk to them about whatever it is they love.
If the unmotivated person knows their job well and just won’t do it or won’t do it
consistently, then this is clearly not an ability problem. They know what to do and
how to do it. Therefore, giving them strict task-focused coaching (instructions,
clarification of goals or standards, practice, monitoring of performance, and the like) is
much less effective than getting them on your side. The real key to improving their
attitude and motivation is to improve your relationship with them. This may develop
slowly but continue making extra effort for a number of weeks to see if you can soften
them up. They may resist at first, thinking you are not genuine or that they cannot

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trust you. With patience, however, most will begin to come around. If this occurs,
chances are you have both learned to respect each other more. This employee may
very well begin to work for you willingly and even become an ally.
In most cases you owe it to yourself and your organization to try everything possible
before you give up on them and assume you will need to terminate them. Turnover
costs the organization money. Promise yourself that you will take sixty days to help
them turn their attitude and behavior around. Continue to be helpful and pleasant.
Show appreciation for any steps they make in the right direction. Consider the “surly”
employee a supervisory challenge that you can overcome.
If you have honestly tried being nice (be honest, now; have you really?), this is the
type of individual who probably likes to be in control. Once they know they have
gotten the better of you with their lack of motivation, they often enjoy this very much.
But letting yourself get bitter with resentment will not help at all. The truth is, it is the
supervisor’s responsibility to help provide and inspire much of the motivation. If you
have given up in frustration, then you are approaching this employee the wrong way.
Some employees need to feel important. They may have the perception—right or
wrong—that their particular talents or abilities are being ignored. See if you can find
a way to make them feel important. Compliment and recognize their best skills. Ask
them for advice on a problem. Or ask them to work with someone else who is less
skilled in their particular strength. Just this simple act of recognition and validation
may be all that’s needed.
Several other sections in this book may be helpful to you in dealing with this
employee. If your employee honestly can’t learn the job, read Challenge 15. If
wasting time is the problem, Challenge 24 may help you. If you have a whole group
that’s underperforming, then read Challenge 20. Challenge 16 on supervising
someone you don’t like may also contain ideas that will help you. When it becomes
a definite performance problem that you can document with your unmotivated
employee, you need to take specific action.
Challenge 19 on extreme negativity may help you. If and when you can honestly say
you’ve tried everything and their attitude or performance has not improved, you may
need to consider termination. If so, follow the advice on progressive discipline and
documentation in Challenge 6 for terminating someone. One person with a serious
bad attitude can bring down the morale of the whole team, and you want to avoid
that.
If the employee in question is a good performer but has a negative attitude, you will
have to make a judgment about whether they are negatively impacting the whole
team. Do not continue to tolerate substandard performance or a negative attitude
over an extended period of time from any one person. This will have a detrimental
affect on performance for the whole group. You owe it to yourself, to your
organization, and to the rest of your employees to dive in and help save the
unmotivated person…or let them go elsewhere.

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********
The accounts payable office of a major food processor was supervised by Julie. She
had been in her current position for nearly five years. In that time, they had had very
little turnover, and Julie was fortunate to have four dedicated workers. About six
months ago one had retired, and her position had been filled by Amanda who had
come to them without much experience but had a wonderful positive attitude and a
two-year degree. In the beginning, her attitude and work habits were fine, but all that
had changed.
Lately, Amanda had shown many signs of being disinterested in the work. She spent
time on the phone each day with her boyfriend. She would often pretend to be busy
so somebody else would answer the phone. Her output on the job was noticeably
less than the others. Julie had gotten complaints from her other workers. At first she
defended Amanda, saying she just needed more time to catch on. The work was
pretty complex, after all. It was finally becoming clear that Amanda was simply not
trying very hard, and Julie knew she would have to confront her.
Julie hated these kinds of situations. She had rarely had to do this because she had
such good workers. She called Amanda in and cheerfully asked her how everything
was going for her. Amanda was evidently very happy with her own performance.
Julie tried to be upbeat and tell her, nicely, that she needed Amanda to work a little
harder. Amanda told Julie that, of course, she would do everything she could to do
her best work because she really liked this job. Amanda left Julie’s office all smiles,
and Julie worried that she had not conveyed the point to Amanda at all. She was
afraid she had not been forceful or direct enough. Julie decided to watch for the next
week or two whether things improved. They did not.
Julie started making notes of the times when Amanda was on the phone with her
boyfriend or took too long coming back from breaks. She began noting how many
times Amanda would let the phone ring. She started getting daily figures on the
productivity of each of her clerks, although that was not an entirely accurate
comparison because some accounts were more involved than others. It gave her a
rough idea, though. After about three weeks, Julie knew she was going to have to
confront Amanda again. So this time, she prepared more carefully exactly what she
would say. She practiced how to speak up firmly and professionally. When she met
with Amanda this time, Julie was more direct.
She told Amanda that she was concerned about her level of performance. Amanda
seemed surprised, but Julie went on to outline the times when she had been on
personal calls during work hours, the dates when she was late from break, and the
concerns Julie had about the phone. Amanda tried hard to argue and defend herself
that she was working as hard as she could. So Julie told her firmly but kindly that
there were some new rules she would have to abide by: no personal calls on
company time; personal calls were for lunch time or break time. Amanda needed to
be sure that she returned from breaks and from lunch within the allotted time. Julie
also told Amanda she was assigning her the task of being the primary person to

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answer incoming calls. This meant that unless she was on the phone already or out
of the department, she would pick up the call by the second ring.
Amanda protested that she could not get her work done if she had to answer all the
calls during the day. Julie stood firm and told her that she wanted to see how it would
go with these new arrangements, and they would talk again at the end of next week,
seven workdays from now.
Amanda was obviously not happy when she left, but Julie realized that she had said
what needed to be said. She had gotten her point across, and she would see if
Amanda started doing better. If not, Julie would start to implement disciplinary action
with her. Julie made a careful note of her counseling session with Amanda and what
they agreed to do. This way she knew she could cover herself if she needed later
evidence of what she had done in this situation. This time, Julie knew she had
handled it well.
Points to remember:
1) Try to catch your employee doing something right and compliment them.
2) Work on your own attitude and try to build a stronger relationship with them.
3) Try to make them feel that their contribution is especially important to the
team.
4) If all else fails apply progressive discipline, the final step of which is
termination.

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________________________________________________ ___________________
Challenge 19. “I’ve got someone who is negative all the time.”
____________________________________________________________________
o Just let it go and assume that’s the way that person is.
o Sit them down and give them a lecture about being more positive.
Don’t do it. Do this instead.
~~~~~~~~~~
One serious whiner or cynic in a group can completely topple your team’s morale
and, consequently, its productivity. One person who always looks at the worst side of
everything can visibly slow down the energy of your department. It’s something you
need to deal with and not ignore, because a negative attitude can spread even more
quickly than a virus and may soon infect your whole group.
Most of the time these complainers have simply gotten into bad habits in their
thinking. They may not realize their sour attitude drains everyone else. Some,
however, do realize what they are doing and enjoy the fact that they can exert
enough control to make others as miserable as they are. See if you can try to make
them feel important. Notice whatever you can that is positive about their level of
performance and thank them. Perhaps feeling appreciated will help them to be less
negative. If you have tried this for a few weeks and it does not help, you need to sit
them down and have a talk with them, not a lecture but a discussion. First, however,
prepare yourself for that talk.
Observe for a few days and make a note of some specific instances and specific
comments that illustrate the problem—things that you find less than acceptable.
Write those down—when they occurred and what was said. Then tell the employee
you want to speak privately to him or her, and set a mutually convenient time. When
you get together make sure you will have no interruptions and sufficient time.
Tell the employee you’re concerned about all the negative comments because the
mood spreads to others and tends to lower morale. Give them the specific examples
you recorded. Just be factual, not accusing, and avoid making this into a “don’t do
that anymore!” lecture. Immediately open it up to them after you have spoken by
asking “What’s going on with you?” or “Is something bothering you?” They may or
may not be willing to share with you what they’re going through. Perhaps they have
been negative for so long that they don’t even know themselves why they are
negative. Try to get some dialogue going about this. Ask them, “Do you realize how
negatively you come across?”

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Listen carefully to whatever they say. This is a situation where you need to be a good
listener and a supportive boss. It could be they resent something you or the company
has done. If so, let them get it off their chest, and don’t get defensive! Just let them
say their piece. They may have personal problems and feel discouraged. If they try
to tell you that’s just their personality, then tell them that it doesn’t fit your
expectations for behavior and comments at work. Be clear about your expectations.
You can be understanding but whatever they are experiencing, they can’t let it spread
out to everyone at work. They may need a referral to an appropriate resource, or
they may need to better utilize their personal support system. If they will open up with
you at all, try to problem-solve to see if there is anything that can be done to make
the complainer’s situation less negative. They have got to be willing to work on the
problem, however; no one else can do it for them.
After you have talked about the “why” of their behavior, it’s time to talk about how to
fix it. Remind them again how everyone’s mood and motivation is affected by their
negative comments and actions and that you will need to see some improvement.
Open it up to them again by asking “What can you think of that you can do
differently?” Keep pressing them for ideas that are specific. This might be anything
from “saying ‘good morning’ to everyone” to “don’t talk so much in staff meetings.”
Let them know that you expect them to be much more aware of their behavior and
their comments. Don’t be rude or angry, but tell them that you now expect them to try
the new behaviors and attitude you have discussed.
Before your meeting closes, set another appointment for thirty days in the future. At
that time you will need to get together again and review their progress with them. Tell
them you will ask for their assessment of how it’s going and share your observations.
To help your employee succeed in developing a better attitude, be sure to notice

examples of any time they show a good attitude in the next few days after your
conference with them. Whenever you see them trying, compliment or thank them.
Do it privately, so that other employees do not overhear. This situation should be
between the two of you, and you must keep it that way. Your employee may or may
not tell others, but you must keep it confidential.
The final step in improving the person’s attitude is to definitely hold your follow-up
meeting. Keep your one-month appointment with the employee. If you fail to hold
them accountable, then you have negated the other efforts that you have made to
turn this situation around. Often, by this time, you have seen improvement, and you
should use this opportunity to compliment them. If the improvement is still sporadic,
set another thirty-day meeting. If you have not seen sufficient improvement at that
point, you may need to initiate progressive discipline. See Challenge 6 for the usual
steps in this kind of process.
Be prepared for the possibility that they may begin looking for other work. If they find
their cynicism is not appreciated and not getting them the attention they want, they
may look for another audience. If they leave you, this may be a blessing, especially if
you have not been able to turn their behavior around. No organization and no

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manager should put up with constant bad-mouthing from an employee, so stand your
ground. The rest of the team will thank you for it.
********
Curt was a manager of a private non-profit mediation center, one of six paid staff
members. His role was recruiting, training, and coordinating the vast number of
volunteers that his agency relied on to deliver mediation services in the community.
Curt was dedicated to his work and really loyal to his volunteers. He considered them
the backbone of the organization. He rarely had a volunteer he couldn’t get along
with. Jerry was one of those few. Jerry was overwhelmingly negative and cynical.
He would turn every situation into an opportunity to complain or pass negative
judgment. If something nice happened, Jerry would say, “Well, it’s about time” or
“Trust me; it won’t last,” and other similar comments.
Curt had noticed that when Jerry was on duty the mood in the building seemed more
somber. There were even some volunteers who work not sign up to work on nights
when Jerry was working and only two volunteers who would co-mediate with him.
Volunteer organizations often put up with a lot because they are thankful for what
they can get. However, Jerry’s negative attitude seemed to just spread and multiply
in the office. Interestingly, more of his mediations failed to come to successful
resolution, too, so even clients seemed to be infected by his sour attitude. Curt
decided it was time to have a talk with Jerry.
He met Jerry for lunch one day and just laid it out for him directly. “Jerry, I’ll just tell it
like it is. We’re getting complaints about you. Your attitude is so negative and
cynical, and people don’t want to work at the center when you are around. It’s like
this black cloud follows you, and I’ve noticed that the mood in the office gets more
somber when you come in. We certainly need our volunteers, so I’m really struggling
with what to do here.”
Jerry seemed offended and said, “Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m pretty cynical. That’s just the
way I am. I call it like it see it in life because I think honesty is important. So now
you’re telling me I need to be Jerry-sunshine, and I just don’t think I can do that.”
“Did you realize that fewer of your cases are resolved than for other teams of
mediators, and that Kevin and Georgette are the only ones who will co-mediate with
you?”
“I do the best that I can, and I didn’t know this was such a popularity contest,” Jerry
retorted. “After all, I’m donating my time.”
“I know you are. But I guess what I’m saying is that we really need you to clean up
your act. Look on the bright side of things, and stop being so critical. Mediation is all
about hope for positive outcomes for all the parties involved. If we don’t see a more
positive attitude, I think we’ll have to ask you to resign as a volunteer.”

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“Well, I like this work, and I used to think I was helping the community in some way. I
see now that my help is not wanted, and my style is not appreciated. I just don’t see
the need to change my personality for you guys. After all, I’m not getting paid for this,
so I think I’ll just resign right now and save us both the trouble.”
Curt tried to calm him down. “I wish you’d reconsider. I think you are really sharp,
and you have a lot to offer. I’m just asking you to think about the types of comments
you make when you are in the office, and if you’ll work with me on this I’d love to have
you continue.”
“Well,” said Jerry, “maybe this is just not the place for me. It’s been nice knowing you
Curt, and I won’t bother you any more.” He got up, took his lunch check, and headed
for the door.
Curt was left sitting and wondering if he had handled it correctly. He was pretty sure
he had done the only thing he could do. Jerry was a person you had to be direct with.
When he began this lunch, he had hoped for a different result; he had hoped that
Jerry would be open to feedback and would try to work with him. He realized now
that Jerry probably felt embarrassed and would have had a hard time overcoming his
pride enough to change his ways back at the center. Perhaps it was all for the best.
The productivity of his remaining volunteers might improve with Jerry gone, and he
had a new group of five volunteers he had recruited waiting for his next training
session. Curt decided that he would move forward from today. He was committed,
and the center would survive.
Points to remember:
1) First try to make your negative employee feel appreciated for anything good
you can find.
2) Counsel with them about how their comments are unacceptable, and try to
help them problem-solve.
3) Develop a plan for improvement with a deadline.
4) Hold a follow-up meeting on your deadline date and hold them accountable for
improvement.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 20. “My people are all lazy and unmotivated.”

____________________________________________________________________
o Put pressure on them the same way someone is putting pressure on you.
o Stand over your people all the time to be sure they are working as hard as
they can and not goofing off.
Maybe your team or department performance has been low, and you may be getting
pressure to push your people harder. Even if you are tempted, don’t you do it. To
get them to perform better, use the following guidelines.
~~~~~~~~~~
First, take a good, hard look in the mirror. You may not want to hear this, but people
nearly always work hard and perform well for any boss they respect. If you are not
getting the performance you need from your team, then you are part of the problem.
Nothing is going to change about their performance until you are willing to admit that.
Even when you admit you are probably making some mistakes, that doesn’t mean
you are a “bad person.” It’s just that you haven’t known the right things to do to get
performance out of your people. Keep reading and you will!
If you are part of the problem, the good news is that you are also part of the answer.
You have a lot of influence on the behavior of those around you if you are in a
supervisory role, whether you believe it or not. So begin by asking yourself these
hard questions, and answer them honestly!
1) Do you sometimes come down on them, collectively or individually, rather

harshly—losing your temper, correcting them angrily in front of others, or
being demanding in your requests?
2) Has it been quite a while since you have said individually to every member of
your team “thank you” or given them a compliment for a job well-done?
3) Do you fail to chat with them, at least occasionally, about things they are
interested in or enjoy (example: baseball, their kids)?
4) Are you usually too busy or too uninterested to hear about any of their
concerns or ideas about their jobs? Do you dread having to answer their
questions?
5) When an employee offers you a suggestion, do you often criticize it, tell them
why it definitely won’t work, or conveniently forget all about it?
6) Do you promote a sense of competition among people in your area in an
attempt to get them to work harder or faster?
7) Do you have the idea that the boss should never pitch in and do some of their
work, even during a busy period or crisis?

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If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, please keep reading
because we have some work to do! You certainly have a lot of company if you do
some or all of the above. These and related things are exactly why your employees
seem unmotivated. You can do better by tapping into their internal motivation by
changing your own style just a little.
Many organizations maintain a general sense of unease throughout, perhaps as a

result of some significant organizational change or uncertainty or pressure coming
from the top, or even from outside groups. Even in this case, however, you can do a
lot to insulate your team and keep their morale and performance high.
For one thing, you can refuse to let pressure from others make you a tyrant to your
group. You have a choice. If someone is watching you closely, then the worst thing
you can do to improve performance in your department is to pass this stress on to the
team. Stop dumping on them because you feel dumped on! You must decide to
have a positive and helpful attitude to all your employees, not just once in awhile but
all the time.
You can and should be honest with them. Call a group meeting or speak to them
individually and be honest. “We haven’t been doing so well lately, and they want us
to get our numbers up” or whatever. But do not lecture them or blame them. Simply
lay out the situation and ask for their help. “We’re all in this together, and I’m open to
your suggestions about how we can improve.” Then let them offer some ideas while
you listen carefully. People will rally around in a tough time if we give them the
opportunity to step forward and if the supervisor shows a genuine appreciation for
their efforts. Listen to their ideas.
They will most definitely not step forward if they are lectured to and ordered to
improve. You must avoid telling them exactly what they “have to” do. Encourage
them all to contribute their ideas, and do not criticize. Decide as a group which ideas
for improvement you can adopt. Tell them you appreciate their ideas.
When they start taking positive performance steps, then compliment them and thank
them for the extra effort. If a deadline is looming, pitch in yourself and help them!
Even if you don’t know exactly what to do, do what you can and let them “train” you.
Your employees are always impressed and appreciative when the boss pitches in to
help them in a pinch.
Here’s another strategy. Do this today—right now. Or if you are reading this off
work-time, do it in the first hour of your next shift. Find one of your employees and
speak to them privately. Tell them something you appreciate about them. “Cindy, I
realize I sometimes get too caught up to let you know this, but I want to tell you that I
really appreciate your attention to details. I know I can always count on you to catch
those little things.” Then watch Cindy beam, and watch how well she performs.
Now, don’t misunderstand this and assume that by giving false praise you can
manipulate people into working harder. If you are not genuine, people will always see
through that and know what’s going on; they will resent you for it. So look for

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something that they honestly and truly do well, then offer them a genuine compliment.
You can certainly think of one or two good things about each person that works for
you, or why are they still on your payroll? The person who receives the compliment
will be proud, and they will voluntarily, of their own free will, work much harder for
you—because you have made them want to do it. And a compliment has not cost
you one red cent of your budget.
It is possible to overdo compliments and sound like you are no longer genuine, so
build up to this over time. But you will need to offer genuine compliments and
appreciation a number of times to each and every employee. Continue to notice the
good things and thank them. Then continue to notice their improved performance.
A third strategy for improving motivation should be used in conjunction with the
above. Post some metrics to show how your team is doing. If you already do this,
then consider expanding it a bit. If you do not do this currently, then try to begin
making some posters or charts to visually display your work progress as a group.
What can you measure on your job that is an indicator of the group’s performance?
Calls made? Customers served? Units produced? On-time shipments?
Complaints? Anything that you can collect numbers on that shows “how many” or
“how much” of something was accomplished by your group is something that can
serve as a positive motivator.
If you begin posting numbers on some kind of visual chart, try to keep it as updated
as possible (daily, weekly?) so the group gets an accurate indication of their
progress. As the days and weeks go by, and you have new results to put up on the
wall, in virtually every case you will begin to see your numbers going in the direction
you want them to go. What you measure and reinforce gets better. Praise them for
their efforts. It works! Celebrate your progress with your team. Congratulate and
thank them. Remember, they are making you look good.
********
The state environmental protection agency is responsible for monitoring the quality of
state rivers and streams to be sure they are safe for fish, wildlife, recreation, and as
public water sources. Collin, a biologist by training, was the acting manager of his
department in this agency. His employees included seven technical and clerical
employees.
Collin recently had a semi-annual performance review where his boss criticized his
department’s productivity and told him he would not be made department manager
unless it improved. Collin had been as directive as possible with his people. He
issued clear orders and checked on their progress frequently. He thought that’s what
a manager was supposed to do. He had also noted their lack of productivity, but he
was not at all sure how to get them to do more.
Collin went to see his dad, a retired army officer. His dad asked him some questions,
and then said, “You know, I also started out telling people what to do when I first had

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responsibility for a unit. But I soon learned there was a more effective way. The
army provided me some great training and some good mentors and role models. I
started observing some of the officers around me who were getting good results. I
learned they used more of a style where they suggested what should be done; they
asked for people’s opinions; and they were quick to compliment and thank their
people. I decided to try managing people like that, and I learned that it worked so
much better. Why don’t you try backing off some, asking people’s opinions, getting
their ideas on how to improve their productivity, and so forth. I bet they will respond.”
As he thought about it Collin realized that his dad was probably right. He had thought
when he had the responsibility that he was really expected to have all the answers
and tell everyone else what to do. When he went back to the office on Monday, it
was a new Collin who called a staff meeting for the next afternoon. He had made a
pledge to himself to be more appreciative, and he made nice comments to two of his
staff that day. They seemed pleased, but surprised.
On Tuesday, the day of the staff meeting, Collin got everyone together and began by
telling them that his boss, Steve, was not happy about their department’s productivity.
Collin had given it some thought, and he really wanted to hear their opinions on what
should be done to improve their output. Then he stopped talking. Everyone was
silent, but Collin made himself not jump in and fill the silence. Finally, one person
spoke up and said something humorous, which broke the tension. Then people
started coming forward with their ideas. He could hardly get them to slow down
enough to write them all down. It was as if the floodgate was opened. Because they
were getting excited about ways to trim waste from the process and ways to move
cases through the system more quickly, Collin realized that they would probably
begin working harder. He was pleased to be generating excitement in his people.
As they continued the meeting, four immediate needs emerged for changes that
would unclog the system. Collin pledged to his staff that he would see to it that
something was done to correct these barriers. He ended the meeting by thanking
them for what they had been doing and for their great ideas. He said he hoped that
the department was turning an important corner, and he was depending on each of
them. He also told them he realized he had probably been too strict and that he was
trying to change all that.
His employees went out of the meeting scratching their heads and looking at each
other. “What’s happening to Collin? Is he actually becoming decent?” asked one.
Another said, “This is a good start but let’s wait and see whether he delivers on his
promises.” But Collin surprised some. He was determined and he did deliver on his
promises, and within two months department performance was considerably better
than at Collin’s review time. Collin called his father a few times to ask his advice; this
renewed his commitment to making positive changes. He was starting to get excited
himself because this stuff really seemed to be working. He was now convinced that
he could turn it around and get the manager position permanently.

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Points to remember:
1) Check your own attitude and be more helpful and respectful, rather than
treating them like unruly children.
2) Ask for the team’s help in improving performance and utilize some of their
ideas.
3) Offer people genuine compliments on their work.
4) Post some numbers that show your team’s performance and let those help to
motivate them; celebrate when the numbers move in the right direction.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 21. “How closely should I be checking up on my people?”

____________________________________________________________________
o Hover over them to be sure they are working because you believe that’s what
a supervisor is “supposed to do.”
But don’t. Do this instead.
~~~~~~~~~~
It’s not possible to make a blanket statement about how often you should be
physically present with your employees because they are all different, and each
organization is different. You need to be flexible enough to give each person what he
or she needs. We can give some general guidelines, however.
When you have a new employee you may want to check in with the new person
frequently at first. You may even be spending time with them yourself to train them in
various procedures and working along side them. Being trained by the supervisor
can make people nervous, so be aware of this fact, and be especially patient and
pleasant with new people. If the new employee senses criticism from you at the
beginning, they may find it much more difficult to trust or respect you. If you have
another employee doing some or all of the training, check in with the trainer and the
trainee regularly to see how it’s going and if they need anything. Keep this in
balance, however. Even with a new employee you do not need to hover over them all
the time. If you do, they are likely to resent this and come to the conclusion you do
not trust them.
When you are physically present with your employees—new or seasoned—do so

with an attitude of being helpful and noticing things they do well in order to give them
compliments and build their confidence. Don’t hang around them with the intent of
trying to observe them doing something wrong. Only poor managers do it this
way…and most of us have had one or two like this!
What about the employees who have been with you for awhile and generally are
competent in their positions? They are trained in how to do the work in most
instances, so you should give them space to perform without watching over their
shoulders. These are the people that you should be careful to notice on a regular
basis with some kind of appreciation, though. They are, after all, the backbone of
your department. If they are producing a sufficient quantity and quality of work, there
is no need to hover. Let them do the job their way, even if their way isn’t exactly like
you would do it.

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For those supervisors who believe you should not have to thank or praise someone
just for doing what is expected of them anyway, here’s a word of advice. Be very
careful of that kind of attitude! Yes, it’s true they’ll work a moderate amount, maybe
even “hard enough,” without praise, but if you truly want to generate maximum
performance, you absolutely must notice the positive and freely pass out compliments
and “thank yous.” The choice is yours, but remember that praise costs you nothing,
and it makes a dramatic positive difference on your employees’ attitudes and
performance. This way they make you look good.
With your experienced people, the best approach is to be around and be visible a few
times a day. One effective strategy is often referred to as “management by walking
around.” This means to get out of your office at least once a day and walk through
the area where your employees work, simply for the purpose of being available to
them. This is not the time for critique or discipline but the time to speak a pleasant
word to each person and to give them the opportunity to voice any concerns or
suggestions they may have. Instead of being perceived negatively, this “walking
around” will be something employees generally look forward to. Respect your
employees’ time; make sure your visits are short.
Make sure they see you and know that you are available, but they also know that you
are not watching their every move; you trust them, after all, because they have
proven themselves. Watching them would be a waste of your time. Remaining
available builds solid relationships in your department. Using this approach will give
you the opportunity to know what’s going on without standing over everyone all the
time, and it is much more effective than hovering and micromanaging.
What do you do if you are supervising people who work at a different physical
location? If you have field staff who are often away from the office or if you manage
people who are scattered throughout a geographic region, this is challenging. You
need to make extra effort to be available to them. Try to establish once a week when
you can have a short meeting with your field staff, just to keep the lines of
communication open. If your people are too spread out to get them together, have
regularly-scheduled telephone conferences with them, both one-on-one and with the
whole dispersed team. Mistrust comes from too little contact, so avoid that problem
with regular contact. Let them know you are available to them anytime they call in.
Some supervisors err on the side of never being around or never being available,
leaving their employees to simply do the best they can when questions arise.
Leaving them to fend for themselves on a regular basis will create little trust or
respect for you as a supervisor. Having a true open-door policy helps. This means
that you are in your office regularly, and when they have something they want to
discuss you drop what you are doing, if at all possible, and listen. This is a good
companion approach to management by walking around.
For your top performers, the ones that you truly could leave on their own with
complete confidence that all work would be completed and good decisions made
about any problems, you will want to appropriately delegate certain authority to them.
This is good for your employee and may free you from some of the routine activities

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so that you can concentrate on larger or more long-term issues. Delegating is good
for the organization too, because you are developing additional talent for the future.
There is an art to delegating well, so read Challenge 10 on how to delegate
appropriately.
********
Sarah was the newly-appointed nursing supervisor on Ward 6-B of City Hospital. She
was very excited about her new job and anxious to get off on the right foot. She
believed in making sure people knew the rules and letting them know who was in
control. Her first day on the job she sat her employees down and explained that she
liked to run a tight ship because she was now responsible for everything that went on
in the department on her shift. She wanted everything to fall into place, even during
peak times. Her new staff just looked at her with blank faces when she asked if there
were any questions.
Sarah followed them around and observed carefully. She watched them from her
office. Sarah figured that if she provided close supervision there was less of a
chance for something to go wrong. She had gotten a few mistrusting looks, and
some people had grumbled that they knew their jobs and could do them just fine. But
Sarah remained firm. Supervision was not a personality contest, she reasoned.
City Hospital had a good in-service training program. Each quarter they had offered a
supervisory training program which was required of all new supervisors. It consisted
of five half-day sessions. Sarah attended these after about six weeks on the job and
really liked them. The final session was on employee relations and communications.
The trainer presented some information and had them work in small groups on case
studies.
Based on that information and discussion with her fellow supervisors, Sarah began to
rethink her approach. The trainer maintained that employees who are very
competent at their jobs benefit more from loose supervision. They like getting things
done on their own and take pride in having their own area of responsibility. For those
who are less confident or less experienced, closer supervision and support are
helpful—until the time when they develop a higher level of competency. Perhaps she
had been supervising too closely. Sarah thought about this for several days until she
decided she needed to talk to her staff.
She called another meeting and explained to them that she was sorry she had
watched them so closely during her first weeks. Through the training she had she
was now convinced that she needed to back off a little bit, and she wanted them to
know what she was up to. Several of her workers commented positively and praised
her for being honest with them. “We won’t let you down, Sarah,” said one of her
experienced nurses. Sarah thought about how different this meeting had been from
her first one in the department when she had laid out her plans to them. Already
there seemed to be a more positive feeling in the department. Now she’d just have to
see if people really did do their assigned work.

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Points to remember:
1) Make sure all your personal contact with employees is aimed at being helpful
and available rather than finding fault.
2) With new employees, check in frequently at first, and then ask them how often
they want you to check in with them.
3) With average performers, be regularly available and present daily; for field
staff have regular telephone contact.
4) With your most competent people, delegate authority and responsibility to
them and stay out of their way.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 22: “We’re not much of a team… and we need to be.”

____________________________________________________________________
Your first reaction might be to:
o Assume marginal teamwork is the best any team can do and just let it go.
o Give them strict orders to start working together better.
But don’t. You can learn to build better teamwork. Try the following ideas.
~~~~~~~~~~
Teamwork is built primarily from two conditions that are somewhat related. First,
teamwork comes from working toward a goal together that would be impossible to
achieve separately. Think about a sports team that achieves only with the
contributions and participation of all. Second, teamwork comes from developing
mutual trust and respect among members. People collaborate (work together) more
readily when they know and appreciate each other as friends.
You should also know that teamwork will largely be built on what you recognize,
reward, and model. Better working relationships flow from your lead. Be generous
with praise for their efforts. Stop being a grump or losing your temper at work! Don’t
promote competition but instead be complimentary when they work together. In
much the same ways that a coach must train a sports team to work together by
learning the moves, it’s your responsibility to encourage your people to work together
on their tasks—and then to recognize them when they do.
An increased level of teamwork can definitely be built among any group over the
space of a few months, and you can be the catalyst. You will want to try to take the
first step right away. As you continue to build on this over the coming months,
teamwork will greatly enhance everyone’s ability to work together and achieve more.
They will probably work better with you, too! Some specific actions you can take to
begin building better teamwork are explained below.
Begin with some kind of special event that gets everyone together in a relaxed, not-
all-business setting. It could be a pizza lunch that you bring in. It could be a Friday
afternoon ice cream party. It could even be a training session on teambuilding that
incorporates many fun activities; if you have the budget for it, these kinds of things
can be a great kick-off for your other teambuilding activities. Whatever the event, tell
your people it’s a reward for something (be specific) that your group has
accomplished. It definitely doesn’t have to be a big thing. Why not have a monthly
event? It could be a carry-in breakfast that costs your department nothing. It could
be an inexpensive item like popcorn or ice cream that you take out of the budget. It
could even be a Dutch-treat meal at a nearby restaurant.

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Whatever your event, make it festive and fun. Give out some funny awards or
encourage a round-robin sharing from people on whatever they want to say about the
goal you accomplished. You can also say something nice or complimentary about
each person on the team. The object of your first event is to have some fun and
make everybody feel good afterwards. This will promote more of a feeling of good
relationships and begin to build trust, one of the two essential conditions that must be
present for true teamwork. Giving people the opportunity to get to know each other
better is essential to building teamwork. We seldom trust people we don’t know well.
Have a regular time for face-to-face interaction. Encourage people to share with and
assist each other, and compliment or thank them when they do so. Set aside a few
minutes for fun at each staff meeting; people who laugh together work better as a
team. Consider appointing a “humor coordinator” and either begin or end each
meeting with a tasteful joke or anecdote.
If your group is widely scattered and face-to-face meeting is difficult, try a weekly
conference call. Keep it short and focused. After you share any necessary
information and updates, ask each person to share their most important
accomplishment of the week and the most important thing they plan to accomplish
next week. Never criticize them publicly but always show appreciation for whatever
they say. This exercise also works for face-to-face settings.
There are also things you can do to achieve goals together. One thing is to
encourage some kind of group project. This could be anything from supporting a
team in some fundraiser event or community league to working on some kind of
project together at break time, like fixing up or painting the break room.
Start noticing when your employees are helping each other out. If they almost never
do so, begin by assigning two of them to work together on something. Thank them
for working together, whether you assigned it or it was voluntary. If you reinforce
working together they will begin to do more of it. “We’re all in this together” should be
a frequent and repeated theme in your interactions.
Another fantastic way to encourage the attainment of group goals is to post some
numbers that you measure and track about your group’s performance. Make up a
poster or visual and let everyone know where the team or department stands on the
work they are doing. Even if you are used to telling them the numbers or sending out
an email with the weekly/monthly totals, go ahead and try a visual format that
everyone will see. Keep the numbers updated as you get new ones. The numbers
will improve when you continue posting them! Limit the numbers you post to no more
than three.
Any time your group has accomplished any kind of goal together, try putting up a nice
big sign of congratulations. You should also think about posting things like this on the
company bulletin board or putting it in the company newsletter so everyone knows
how great your group is.

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At your next staff meeting review a recently-completed project. Tell the group how
well they did and recognize each person’s contribution to the total effort by saying
exactly what they did well. End your comments by stating how the finished product or
project would not have been possible without each one of them.
You can also take this one step further. When you have a success that took multiple
hands and heads to accomplish, talk about that item and discuss it at your next staff
meeting. You can analyze the steps of how it turned out successfully, thanking each
person who was involved. You should also ask them if they can think of anything
they would do differently next time to make it even better and let people share ideas
about this. This kind of debriefing focuses on the attainment of a mutual goal and
greatly enhances the feeling of teamwork.
Be patient. If you follow this advice for a few months, you will see a noticeable
increase in teamwork.
********
Richard was the new manager of the water and sewer department of his small
county. He had twelve people working for him, four in the office who handled
customer calls and billing and eight field services workers on four crews.
Richard knew he was hand-picked for this job. He had learned the value of teams
while working for Mitch at the electric commission. Mitch had been a great model for
how to get a team to pull together. For a few months, Richard had served as interim
department manager in his old job, when his supervisor was out with surgery, and he
had loved it. He thought he was ready for the new challenge of managing a
department. Mitch had given him some pointers when he left—start slow, learn to
know everyone, introduce some fun activities, praise them for working together, and a
few things like that.
The water and sewer department was not much of a team and everyone knew it. The
director who had just retired was very old-school and authoritarian in his management
style. When Richard began his new job, he followed Mitch’s advice and sat down
with every one of his employees to get their input on what could be improved in the
department. He went out on installations and service calls with his field staff; he took
his turn on the phone after being trained by one of his customer services reps; and he
even learned as much as he could about billing and collections. One of the things he
discovered was that his field teams of two were generally working well together but
there was some friction and competition between the teams. Relationships among
his office staff were also strained, as one person was often left out and felt alienated.
After this first month on the job, Richard called them together and told them what he
had heard from them, in general. Most of them had told him that the group did not
work well together as a team. He had gathered several suggestions from them, and
Richard had some ideas of his own. He told them what he had learned: that teams
are mostly built over time by people getting to know each other better and by working
together on some common goals and common problems. Richard wanted them to

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start small—by having bagels and coffee together each Friday morning before the
workday began. He agreed to bring the bagels. He also told them that some weeks
he might surprise them with Friday afternoon popcorn when they had had a good
week. These events would be occasions for socializing.
Richard also wanted to begin some cross-training. He started this in the office,
knowing that it would create better coverage when people had to be out of work. He
also wanted to begin each week with a Monday morning staff meeting for about 45
minutes to begin the week on a positive note and to promote communication.
As Richard implemented this plan, there were a few glitches. His first Friday-
morning- bagels event was awkward since there was little mingling or conversation,
except among the ones that already liked each other. The second Friday morning,
Richard introduced a game he had seen done at a training seminar to introduce
people to each other. This seemed to work better and got people laughing and
warmed up. He also began having a joke-of-the-week. During the week, he began
giving out assignments that would require two or more people to complete, and he
acknowledged their good work when he saw them working as a unit. Richard used
his staff meetings as a chance to recognize and praise any of the acts of teamwork
he had observed the previous week. He kept telling the group they were doing better,
and he was proud of them.
Very gradually, members of the department began to get on board with the changes.
There were a few that were still reluctant to participate and thought there was too
much foolishness. Within three months of the time Richard began working, there was
a perceptible change in the office atmosphere. People were starting to trust and
respect each other a little more. They were cooperating more, and the office
productivity began to go up. Richard realized there was still a lot more to do,
especially with his field crews, but he was confident that he was well on his way to
creating teamwork in his department.
Points to remember:
1) Clearly define and talk about the goal you are all working on together.
2) Make opportunities to have fun together and learn to know each other better.
3) Acknowledge and compliment all examples of working together.
4) Celebrate accomplishment of any goal achieved by the team.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 23. “My people just will not accept any kind of change.”
____________________________________________________________________
o Lay down the law, and order them to do what’s needed.

o Just accept the fact that changes take a very long time in your workplace and
you have to live with it.
Don’t do either of these things. There is a better way.
~~~~~~~~~~
The reason most employees resist change is because it has been implemented
badly. Most companies do not understand the change process well enough and,
therefore, tend to make many mistakes when implementing a change. Two of the
biggest mistakes most organizations make are: 1) providing too little warning or
information on an upcoming change or why a change is even needed at all; and 2)
not soliciting employee ideas and allowing them input into the form the change will
take.
If you are in an organization that simply announces a change and expects you to
comply, you are in a tough spot—caught in the middle between your responsibility to
do your job for the company and trying to support your employees. You are the one
who gets all the employee complaints. You may even think your employees are right
to complain! To survive in this kind of organization as a supervisor there are two
things you should plan to do:
1) Just because you were “ordered” to do something, ask yourself if it is really

necessary for you to “order” your employees to do it. If you felt resentful, so
will they. You may have considerable control over exactly how you present
the change and how you will comply with the change order. Your people will
embrace the change much more readily if you allow them some small
opportunity to shape how the change is actually done, even if none of you
have a choice about the change itself.
To let them help shape the change, call them together for a meeting and lay
out honestly what you have been told to do. Be very careful here not to
criticize the organizational decision-makers, regardless of your personal
feelings about the decision. Your attitude needs to be: we have to make this
work, so let’s give it our best shot. Explain to your employees the reason why
the change is being made—whatever you have been told or can logically
conclude. If you have reservations yourself about the change you can be
honest but always add, “We have to try to make this work out.” If they
complain loudly, be careful to tread on neutral ground and don’t just agree

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with them. Tell them you understand their concerns. But do not criticize the
company. Your criticism and suggestions should be saved for your boss’
ears.
After a short time of allowing your people to adjust to the idea of the change,
bring the focus of the meeting back to your main purpose; that is, getting their
input on how the change can be implemented to be as beneficial as possible
with as little disruption as possible. Ask for their suggestions about this. Keep
reminding them of the potential good that may come from the change. Thank
anyone who offers ideas. Gradually get them thinking more positively.
Decide together on a timeline of actions you will take to meet the mandate you
were given.
2) The second thing you should do when change orders come down to you is
lobby with your own managers and other management levels you may have
access to. Ask them to seek your team’s input ahead of time on these kinds
of issues. Be very careful that you approach this in a positive way that
expresses your genuine concern to do your best for the organization; don’t
approach them in a complaining manner.
Tell them you understand what problem they are attempting to solve and the
change might even be beneficial in some ways. Your people, however, are
much more likely to embrace any change if they have had a chance to offer
their ideas for addressing the problem. Brag on your people. Tell your
managers that you’ve got experienced people (if you do) who are actually
doing the work every day. They can offer good advice, and they are less
reluctant to try something new when they know their ideas were considered
and incorporated in the solution, if possible.
If you are fortunate, you work in an organization that already knows the importance of
keeping employees informed and of soliciting their ideas to solve challenging
problems. Your situation may look like the paragraph below. If this is the case, your
employees will be less resistant to change than if the organization does not believe in
sharing information and soliciting participation in decision-making.
If company decision-makers are good at providing information on their priorities and

their areas of concern, you are fortunate. When a problem arises they put the word
out that they are taking a look at a certain issue and will welcome employee ideas.
As a supervisor, this is the perfect time to go to your employees and ask for their
input. The more closely the potential change will affect them, the more crucial this is.
Get their ideas and be sure to pass these on to your decision makers. Keep your
employees closely informed of all progress on the issue and any decisions that have
been made about a change.
Remember that people mainly resist when they are blind-sided by a change they
didn’t expect. They don’t know why it’s necessary, and nobody cared enough to ask
their opinion. You can eliminate much of their resistance by keeping them informed

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and by seeking their input. Introduce more information and opportunities for their
comments prior to your next change, and putting the change into effect is guaranteed
to go much more smoothly.
********
First National Bank wanted to cut down on bank fraud and increase security in all
areas of the bank. The managers knew that this would probably involve a number of
major changes. Their bank was an established one. Many of their employees—and
customers, too—had been with the bank for a long time.
They brought in a consultant who worked with them over the course of several
months to assess their needs, define their vision, develop a preliminary action plan,
and advise them how to involve the employees. The consultant had strongly urged
the bank’s leaders to involve the employees in designing the changes. He had
trained all the managers in how to implement change in ways that minimized
resistance.
Esther was the head teller at the bank, and after the training and a number of
meetings with the other department managers, she thought she knew what she
needed to do. She was beginning to feel good about the positive changes the bank
was making and the ways in which the bank’s leaders were trying to involve all levels
of employees. Esther had already met with her staff a few weeks ago, as she had
been encouraged to do, to educate them on the problems the bank was having with
fraud and how much money it was costing them. She ended that first meeting by
telling them that the bank was open to ideas for how to reduce the problem. They
were seeking ideas from all employees and from all departments. She asked her
group to mull this over and think about offering input to management for consideration
in the enhanced security program.
When Esther met again with her staff about two weeks later, she learned that several
of them had spent considerable time looking for security measures designed for teller
stations. Some of this time had been off the job, too. Esther, herself, had found
some of the same security devices and strategies, so she was especially delighted
when her staff showed her what they had found. They were excited and proud to be
contributing. One idea clearly stood out from the others: fingerprint scanning
identification capability. Everyone agreed that this would be a good idea, although
some had reservations that certain customers might be reluctant to go to these
extremes. Between Esther and her two tellers, they had found a total of three
different sources from which this technology was available. Each had slightly
different features and advantages and each was priced differently. Esther thanked
her group profusely, and told them she would submit a formal recommendation to the
bank vice-president who was coordinating the security enhancement project and
would give credit to her whole department for the idea.
It took several months but the idea was approved, and Esther proudly announced this
decision to her staff. The top management group had selected one of the vendors

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they had originally submitted, and the order would be placed immediately, with
installation and training on its use expected in just over one month.
When the new system was installed and was in use, Esther observed that her tellers
embraced it fairly readily, even introducing it proudly to their customers. As she
thought back over the process of introducing this change, Esther realized that she
had encountered less resistance with this change than with any of the other major
changes she had been involved in because the bank’s leaders had taken a different
approach. Instead of simply announcing what they would be doing, they offered
information about the need and sought everyone’s input. They used that input to
enhance the bank’s security. The consultant had been right to urge them to involve
the employees. Esther resolved to remember this method in the future whenever she
had a change to introduce—people accept change more readily when they have
participated in creating it.
Points to remember:
1) Announce a mandatory change as positively as possible and solicit employee

ideas on exactly how to do it.
2) When change is desired but not ordered, inform your employees and seek
their opinions.
3) Explain why change is necessary and what good may come out of it.
4) Compliment and reinforce efforts on behalf of the change.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 24. “There’s too much goofing off around here.”

____________________________________________________________________
o Give the group a lecture.

o Try to ignore it and tell yourself it’s alright.
But don’t. You’d be better off to do it like this instead.
~~~~~~~~~~
Before you do anything else, ask yourself if your team or the offending employees are
completing an acceptable quantity and quality of work. Be honest here. How
disruptive is having some fun at work? If there is some laughter and socializing, this
is a very good thing. It probably means that people are comfortable there, they enjoy
their jobs enough not to quit on you, and they probably trust each other enough to
work together reasonably well as a team. Whoever said that work had to be dull and
grueling? People generally perform better when they are in a light-hearted mood,
and having fun together is a good way to do it.
Now that we’ve said that, there are certainly times when this situation may get out of
hand, and you are the best judge of whether that’s the case in your situation. Here
are some things to look for that will indicate that the play and goofing off have gone
too far:
1) Have you gotten complaints from some of your employees that they are not
able to get their work done because of joking or noise? Or because certain
people come around too frequently to visit with them?
2) Are some people or all of your people failing to meet performance standards
because of the excessive socializing?
3) Are you getting negative comments from other departments or your own
manager?
4) Have you participated quite a bit in the playing around and, thereby, given
employees the indication that it’s okay to goof off?
If the answer to any of these questions is “yes,” then it’s time to do something. If the
situation involves everyone or nearly everyone in the group, then have a meeting to
discuss it. Just don’t let it become a lecture. If you have only one or two offenders
meet with them privately. If you have been a contributor to the problem, admit it to
your team and apologize for letting it go too far. Let people know that you like the
relaxed atmosphere among the team and the fact that everyone works well with each
other. Tell them you have gotten some negative comments from “others” (don’t say
who) about the amount of joking or goofing off that’s going on. Open the floor up for
discussions on how you can all continue to have a relaxed atmosphere where people

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like to come to work and still make sure you’re getting all the work done and not
annoying other people. Let them think about this, even if they sit in surprised silence
for a minute.
Eventually someone will speak up with an idea. They may express some anger and
some hurt. Make it clear that you are in the middle here—you’re trying to support
good teamwork while at the same time you want to be sure other people aren’t
looking at them with a critical eye. Tell them you need their help. Ask for specific
suggestions for how to keep things friendly yet still stick to business. When they offer
a few ideas, build a few of the good ones into an acceptable plan that everyone can
basically agree to. When they have suggested the solution, they will be much more
likely to comply without resentment than if you had set them all down and told them
what to do. Once you get the team to agree to the new standards, tell them you’re
counting on them to live up to their word. This is the new standard for acceptable
behavior. Thank them for helping you resolve this issue.
You may also need to set a good example. Try sharing a short joke or laugh but
without letting it drag on into a long period of play. Try pitching in and working with
them at peak times. Try praising them during the times when they are busy and not
fooling around.
If your “goofing off” situation really only involves one or two people, meet individually
with the offenders and share your concerns. Begin by giving them some feedback on
their work—starting with something that’s good. Then proceed to say in a very
confident (not forceful or angry) way that you’ve noticed they seem to have a lot of
time to visit or they do a lot of goofing off or clowning around. You should be
prepared to give a specific example. Ask them what’s going on with that. Listen
closely to their explanation.
There could be a number of reasons for wasting time. One of those may be that they
need more challenging work. Another reason may be that they don’t enjoy the work
and rush through it or do the bare minimum. Make sure they are clear about the
standards for quantity and quality of work. If you have a performance issue (See
Challenge 18), address it. Clearly define the expectations and hold them accountable
for the quantity and quality of work you need. Even in this case, however, avoid
lecturing to your employee.
Even if work quantity and work quality are not an issue, tell them that you just can’t let
them socialize more than others do because this will create hard feelings, and other
members of the team could end up resenting them and resenting you. Ask for their
help. Most people are more willing to “help” than they are to “obey.” Come to a
mutual agreement of what they will do and what you can expect from them.
Monitor their performance and don’t let things slide backwards. When they are
starting to do better, be sure to comment positively on this. If they do not do better,
see Challenge 6 on progressive discipline, the final step of which is termination.
********

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“There’s too much fooling around going on here,” Gordon complained to Paul, one of
his workers. Gordon was the warehouse supervisor at an auto parts distributorship.
Paul was the only one of his five employees who worked steadily and didn’t
participate much in the fooling around.
Paul was older than Gordon and had seen a lot in his working years. “Gordon, I don’t
mean to be telling you what to do,” he said, “but if you want my ideas, I’ll give ‘em to
you.”
Gordon was feeling pretty discouraged, so he said, “Sure, I’d be glad for some
suggestions because whatever I’m doing is sure not working.”
“Why don’t you try pitching in and working with them?” asked Paul. “You know when
those trucks come in and we are all just as busy as we can be for a few hours or
more, the guys complain about you sitting up here in the office ‘doing nothing.’ I told
‘em you’re doing you job—you’re the boss. But I just think they’d respect you more if
you showed ‘em you are willing to roll up your sleeves and get dirty. Not every time,
of course, but some days when we’re really backed up on orders for the drivers, too,
there’s a lot of pressure. I think the goofing off is just for the guys to let off pressure
by taking it easy when they can. They usually get the work done, and there’s no real
harm.”
Gordon thought about it. “So you think something that simple could make the
difference? Well, maybe you’re right. I guess I could try it.”
He had his chance the next week. A delivery truck rolled up at a time when they were
really busy already. Gordon went back to the loading dock and offered to help. The
guys looked surprised, but handed him a hand truck. For the next hour and a half
Gordon helped his warehouse crew unload the boxes of items and put them away. It
was dirty, tiring work, but the guys seemed to appreciate his presence. When they
got through the initial rush, a couple of them thanked him for his help.
At Paul’s suggestion Gordon also began taking more interest in what was going on
out on the warehouse floor. He started making rounds a couple of times during the
day, and not for the purpose of finding fault but just to ask his people how it was
going and to see if they had any problems or ideas. If he found them goofing off, he
smiled and ignored it. He was trying to look for the things people did well. He
complimented them when he saw them really working. He told the guys that when
they were really getting behind to let him know, and he would try to come out and
help if he possibly could. He usually spent an hour or two a week helping to unload
trucks or fill orders if there was a sizeable backlog.
Little by little, Gordon began to sense a new respect for him from his workers. He
even overheard one of them commenting to another how he seemed to have
changed. He smiled and made a mental note to thank Paul again for his advice.
Gordon also observed that while the horseplay had not entirely stopped, there was a
little less of it. More work, in general, seemed to be getting done so the goofing off

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that still occurred was not too offensive and even, as Paul suggested, might be
serving an important purpose.
Points to remember:
1) Be present with your employees. Joke with them but don’t model extended
“goofing off” sessions for them; have fun but keep it manageable.
2) Help your employees out during peak times.
3) Look for the things they are doing well and comment on these.
4) Hold everyone accountable for standards of quantity and quality of work.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 25. “I don’t know what to say when they tell me their personal
problems.”
____________________________________________________________________
o Make it clear that they shouldn’t bring their personal problems to you.
o Tell them what they should do to solve their problem so they will get back to
work.
Don’t handle it like this. Instead, try the ideas below.
~~~~~~~~~~
Listening to an employee’s health, family, financial, or general life problems seems

like it should be out of the scope of your duties as a supervisor. Ideally, they should
leave their personal problems at home and concentrate on work while they are at
work. In real life, it doesn’t work that way, and personal issues and worries frequently
impact an employee’s ability to fully complete his or her work.
There are at least two reasons why you should allow employees to come to you with
their personal problems:
1) When you allow them to “vent” their concerns, this often lets off the
pressure just enough for them so they can concentrate more fully on the
tasks at hand and pull their weight on the work that must be done.
2) They will appreciate the fact that you cared enough to listen, and once
they are back “together,” you will have gained considerable loyalty and
respect. This means they will go out of their way to perform for you when
the chips are down.
It’s hard to buy this kind of loyalty and support, so it’s a good investment on your part
as a supervisor. There are, however, several things you should remember in order to
be an effective sounding board for employees, and so you do not get sucked into
their problems and get in over your head.
First, keep the interactions as manageable as possible, allowing the amount of time
you can and no more. For most issues, thirty minutes should be sufficient for an
employee to lay out the problem and for you to demonstrate compassion, unless they
are extremely upset. Use your judgment, depending on how much time you can
spare and how distraught the person is. If you have commitments and you don’t have
time to hear them out at one sitting, offer to reschedule a time later to get together.
For many people, one heart-to-heart session is all they will need. Now someone
knows their situation, and they have gotten it off their chest! Occasionally, though,

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you will have an employee who wants to keep coming back. Do not allow them to
keep coming back over and over again and rehashing their problem. You are not
their counselor, nor should you be. They may want to talk to you again because you
were nice to them and showed concern, and maybe they don’t get this from anyone in
their circle. If this is not too disruptive for you, you may want to hear them out one
more time. By the third time a red flag should go up in your mind. You will have to be
assertive and get them to take some positive steps to solve their own problems. If
you feel unsure of what to say or do when they are in your office, all upset, the
following paragraphs will give you suggestions.
In the first place, you don’t need to talk; you should simply listen. Just be quiet and
let them talk. Remember that when you listen it is not necessary for you to solve the
problem or give them answers. In fact, it’s not a good idea to tell them what to do.
You don’t need to say anything, just give the person your attention and nod from time
to time. The only “advice” you should give is to suggest people or groups who may
be able to help them, for example your Human Resources Manager or your
Employee Assistance Program. If you do not have either of these, you may want to
suggest a local alternative—a mental health counselor, minister, financial advisor, or
whatever is appropriate. Remember, too, that good listening does not necessarily
mean you agree with them, with their assessment or their handling of the situation.
Good listening does not imply judgment, either good or bad. Try not to evaluate or
judge. You can simply be present with them.
Be sure you let your employee know that, while you are concerned about their
situation, you cannot solve their problem, and you recommend they seek help from
the appropriate source. When they have confided their problem to you, let them
know you will be as understanding as possible, but they will want to work to get things
under control. Your department or team still has to get the work out, and you need
them. Work can, in fact, be good therapy for many people with personal problems.
You may be able to suggest this.
When someone confides their problems to you, there is one cardinal rule you must
not break. That is confidentiality. If you break this rule, any possible gains in trust
and improvement in the relationship with the employee will be lost, and you will be
further in the hole with them than when you started. If they are talking suicide or
homicide, then you have a responsibility to break their confidence. Otherwise, keep
quiet!
Occasionally, any of your employees, who are normally good workers, may go
through a difficult time. They may require more patience and understanding than
usual for a period of time, but they will generally bounce back in a reasonable time
after the crisis passes.
You have probably observed, however, that some people have chronic life problems.
Their lives are chaotic, and they go from one problem to the next. This person can be
a challenging employee because they are often reluctant to take responsibility for
their situation and make the needed changes. They may spend much of their day
talking to anyone in the department who will listen about their terrible problems.

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Because of that, they may get little work done. If you see this kind of pattern
developing, nip it in the bud.
Meet with the person and explain that you are concerned about how their problems
may be affecting their job performance. Ask them how they are doing with getting
their work done. Give them a little leeway if you can and if their problems are
legitimate. But let them know they need to continue to perform up to minimum
standards. If they start to get emotional and remind you how bad their life is, remain
calm and do not let yourself feel guilty or get drawn into their situation. Firmly and
kindly explain that they will need to take definite steps to get their life under control
since it is affecting their productivity and, therefore, that of the whole department.
See Challenge 18 which addresses poor job performance. If they don’t perform, and
if they continue to be a drag on departmental performance, see Challenge 6 which
talks about progressive discipline, the last step of which is termination.
Whether you have the person with chronic problems or the one who has a temporary
episode of problems, set reasonable limits on how much listening time you can give
them. Refer them to the appropriate sources. Convey all this to the employee
compassionately, but they do need to hear it.
********
Housing Services Unlimited is a private, non-profit organization in a large city. Its

mission is to locate housing for handicapped individuals who are considered ready to
be out on their own. They also provide limited monitoring services up to one year for
residents they have placed. There are two divisions, services and development, both
of whose directors report to Stuart, the agency director. Beverly, the services
manager, had five case managers in her division. Doug, one of her case managers,
had worked for the agency for three years and was good at his job.
Doug walked into Beverly’s office one Monday morning, clearly upset and asked if he
could talk to her. He said his wife had left him over the weekend and taken their
infant son with her. Doug was clearly devastated and said he had no idea that the
break-up was coming. Beverly listened to his story and tried to be supportive. She
felt somewhat uncomfortable, mainly because there was so little she could do, and
she hated to see Doug so devastated. She encouraged him to get involved with his
work because it would help take his mind off his problems. She also encouraged him
to talk to his co-workers so they would know and could be as supportive as possible
and help him out with work when needed. She also urged him to see a counselor.
Doug dragged through the week, obviously not himself. The following Monday, he
walked happily into Beverly’s office and said he had persuaded his wife to come back
and try to work things out. So things seemed to be going better for a few weeks.
Doug was back to his old self.
Then one day, Doug walked into Beverly’s office and sat down dejectedly. He said
he and his wife had been seeing a marriage counselor but they were evidently not

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making progress, so his wife had left him again. He went on and on with his
depressing tale. He was angry that she hadn’t given the counseling a fair chance; he
was angry that she had taken their son; and he felt like a victim. Beverly was
beginning to feel like she was in a soap opera. She wanted to be supportive, but she
had work to do and so did Doug. How much time could she devote to this problem?
What could she do for Doug?
Beverly decided to call up a friend of hers who did some business coaching and treat
her to lunch. She was looking for some advice, and private non-profits don’t
generally have the budget for consultants and coaches. Rhonda agreed to meet her
for lunch and help her out if she could. When they met, Rhonda told Beverly she was
going to have to start setting limits for Doug. She should advise him that he continue
to see the counselor himself, even if his wife was no longer going with him, because
he needed help to redefine his life. He could only have one brief appointment each
week with Beverly. Rhonda advised her to tell Doug 15 minutes was the amount of
time she could spend. She could phrase it positively, emphasizing what she could
do, rather than speaking of it in terms of “limits.” Then she could let it stretch to 20
minutes or so, but she needed to be firm with him. Beverly wasn’t at all sure she
could do it, but she practiced with Rhonda what she could say to him.
The next day, she had her chance to use her new script when Doug was waiting at
her office as she got back from an appointment. He walked in quickly and closed the
door. He was clearly agitated, and Beverly couldn’t make herself say her script quite
like she had rehearsed it. However, she did say, “Doug, I’ve tried to be a listening ear
for your problems because you are a good worker, and I know you are having a
rough time. But it’s beginning to infringe on my own work time. I want to be
supportive, but I’m going to have to spend a little less time on this so we can both get
our work done.”
Doug looked like he was going to cry and said, “Well, I just found out that Becky is
seeing someone else. She had staunchly denied that all along. Now I’ve learned the
truth, and I just can’t believe it!”
Beverly wasn’t sure he had heard her and realized she might have to take a little
longer with him this time than she had planned. This was pretty bad news. She took
a few deep breaths and did some supportive listening as Doug told her his story.
After about 20 minutes, Beverly started winding things up with Doug. She stood up
and said, “I know you are really in pain, Doug, and I’m sorry you’re having to go
through all this. I’ve got the Board meeting tonight, though, so I hope you understand
that I have to get back to work now.” He seemed dazed but he walked out of her
office. Maybe limiting him would work after all. She’d just have to keep at it, knowing
Doug would be back again, and she’d probably have to give him the speech about
the 15 minute limit when he was a little calmer. It was hard to be firm, but she had
made a start. Beverly felt proud of herself for being more of a manager and less of a
social worker. She felt like she was more in control.

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Points to remember:
1) Just listen to their problems; you don’t have to have the solution.
2) Help the employee find the kind of help they may need for their problem.
3) Be as kind and as patient as you can.
4) Gently remind them of their responsibilities and how work may be a form of
therapy for them.
5) Set limits on the amount of time you spend listening to a particular employee
so they do not get dependent on you.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 26. “My people are all complainers.”

____________________________________________________________________
• Ignore all their complaints because you’ve heard it all before.

• Lose your temper and give them a good lecture to quit complaining.
But don’t do either of these things. The following approach will work much better.
~~~~~~~~~~
People who complain a lot may be experiencing general low morale and feel like they
have too much pressure and no control. Some of the things they whine about are not
things that you have any control over either. So you may get tired of hearing it and
begin to turn a deaf ear to everything they say. If you do that, you will run the risk of
being perceived as “just another bad boss.” And you will run the risk of missing those
occasional complaints that contain good ideas—things you really could make use of
to improve your department.
When you notice most everyone is complaining about a lot of things, it’s time to look
at yourself. People usually mirror what they see around and above them. Are you
contributing to the poor morale by doing a lot of complaining and griping yourself? A
negative attitude spreads quickly in an organization; it needs prompt attention before
it gets out of hand and performance decreases noticeably. Resolve to change your
own attitude and be more positive. The change will begin with you.
When you begin to change your own attitude, it’s time to call a meeting with your
employees. Begin the meeting by saying that you are concerned about the team’s
morale. Then sit back and listen and let them vent their frustrations for a limited
period of time. Write down their complaints on a whiteboard or flipchart and put every
single complaint in one of two categories: “Things we can do nothing about” and
“Things we have some control over.” If you are in a small or flat organization you may
have some say-so in many issues, and there may be things you can do about a good
portion of the complaints. But larger organizations often set policies or make
changes in procedure without asking anyone’s opinions; these issues can be
particularly unpopular, and you may all simply have to accept them.
Let the group complain about their issues for a little while in order to know they were
heard. As the supervisor you will need to be sympathetic to their concerns without
specifically agreeing with them and bad-mouthing the company yourself. Remind
them that, while you understand and even sympathize with some of their concerns,
there is nothing you or they can do about these things, and you’ll all have to accept
them and make the best of the situation. There is nothing to be gained by continuing

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to complain about these items. All that comes out of extended complaining is that
everybody feels worse.
After a limited gripe time, turn the group’s attention to the list of things they can
control. If there is little or nothing on that list, then put a few things on this list. What
things, specifically, do you and they have control over, and how can these things be
improved? If nothing else, they have control over their attitude, and the team should
think of ways in which they can make the workday more pleasant at their own level,
despite the things they don’t like. Plan a team celebration or “appreciation day,” like a
Friday afternoon popcorn party or going out to dinner together after work. Any
special event like this will help build positive bonds and contribute to a better attitude.
As their supervisor or manager you need to be especially mindful of how to praise,

support, and cheer them if things have been particularly stressful. Notice the positive
things that are happening, and be generous with thanking people for everything they
do. Remind them that you will listen to ideas, and they can always bring you their
suggestions. All complaints must be brought in the form of ideas for how to correct
the problem. Then, when someone comes to you with a complaint, listen briefly and
ask “What do you suggest we do?” This will train them not to come to you and whine,
but to come with solutions.
When everyone starts noticing only the bad things, it’s essential that you refocus their
attention on what’s going right. Consider the simple solution of making a “What we’re
doing right” board. Take multiple pieces of newsprint or butcher paper and post this
in a visible spot. Write in big letters at the top, “Good things” or “What we’re doing
right” or some appropriate label. Tape a marker nearby on a long string and add a
recent “victory” or two yourself to get the list started. It can be something small, but
something that clearly went well in your department. At least once a day begin
adding items or examples to your board of things that went well that day. Invite
others to participate. Add to it faithfully, and within 2-3 weeks you will see a visible
shift in the morale. People will be more positive and more cheerful. They are now
looking for good things rather than noticing only the bad. The whole team can
celebrate the positive things that are happening through the visible and daily
reminders.
Keep your own attitude especially positive and helpful during this time. Even if you
have a lot of stress or your boss is on your back, make sure you are treating your
people better than you are being treated or better than you feel. The morale change
you will be able to initiate is very much worth it. When you can reduce the level of
stress and negativity in your department, this not only benefits the department but it
benefits you as well.
********
The food stamps division of the local social services agency consisted of one
secretary, three intake specialists, six case managers, and the food stamp director,
Penny Holmes. She had held her position for seven years. Penny had been sensing
low morale and unrest for some months now. Since her department had lost two

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employees in a recent reorganization, morale had steadily gone downhill and
complaints had gone up. Penny, herself an easy-going person, did not like working in
the department with its current mood. It was certainly getting her down, and she was
concerned that the low morale was showing to clients. She finally decided something
must be done.
Penny got her team together for a meeting and laid out her concerns. Immediately
everyone started voicing all the terrible things that had been going on recently.
Everyone’s energy was focused on the negative. Penny listened patiently for about
twenty minutes. Finally she stood up and moved over to the whiteboard. She had an
idea and asked everyone to rate their morale level on a one-to-ten scale. She
recorded their answers as they told her their number. After everyone had given an
answer, Penny did some quick math and figured that the average morale level was
5.2 out of 10, not where she or they would like it to be.
“Okay, everybody, I’ve been hearing everything bad that’s been going on in this
department. I agree that some things are not ideal, and we would change them if we
could. But when we keep focusing on all the bad, when we keep voicing complaints,
all we do is get ourselves deeper into a black hole. Everything looks bleak, and we
feel hopeless. My intention is to get us out of this rut. Right now, this minute, I want
every one of you to take a piece of paper and write down your top two or three
concerns. Do it.”
When they completed their lists, Penny asked them to wad up their paper and she
took a trashcan around and let every person present throw their lists of “what’s
wrong” in the trashcan. “We have now symbolically gotten rid of some of the bad.
From this point forward,” Penny declared, “I want us to focus more of our energy on
what’s right, or on what we can fix and make right. So now I want your ideas on how
to deal with problems. I want solutions, not more restatement of problems.” She
stood, marker in hand, patiently at the whiteboard. Her staff was quiet. Finally Penny
tried again, “What are we doing right? I know there are a few things.” Maria said,
“Well, we all pretty much like each other and that’s a blessing.” Penny said, “Yes.
That’s it!” and started her list. Gradually others chimed in with a few things that were
good.
So then Penny asked them another question. “Given that much of what we dislike,
we cannot control, what can we do to keep our spirits up around here? I want to have
some ideas that we can implement.” So they created another list, which began with
having bagels for breakfast every Friday morning. They would take turns bringing
them in. They continued to list things that would help them remain more positively
focused. One important idea that emerged from their meeting was a “buddy
program.” In this program, each staff person was assigned a partner, and they were
instructed to get together once a week for at least 30 minutes. They were to bring
their hardest case or biggest challenge they had encountered that week and let their
partner help them consider solutions.
Penny continued to monitor her team’s progress over the next three months. She did
not tell them, but she had set a personal deadline of improving morale in that period

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of time. It seemed to her like things were slowly improving. They had more positive
interaction time. Each month she found something to celebrate—someone’s
birthday, a “national holiday,” or a departmental victory. Several people had told her
they thought things were improving. Staff meetings started to go a little better. At the
end of three months, Penny passed out a half-sheet of paper to everyone at a
meeting on which people could rate their morale level, just as they had done before
verbally. When she collected these and tabulated them, Penny found that the
average had gone up to 6.6. She announced to everyone, “It looks like we are
moving in the right direction, and there continues to be more we can do. Let’s have
your comments on how you think things are going.”
Because of Penny’s patience and her perseverance in holding her staff to a higher
standard the department morale continued to improve, little by little. Employees were
happier, and Penny felt that the clients were getting better service when people were
more satisfied. She resolved to do a client satisfaction survey to gather data on how
her staff were doing and gather ideas for improvement. This would be her next
project.
Points to remember:
1) Make your own attitude positive by looking for small successes.

2) Prompt the group to look for positives; stop allowing them to focus only on the
negative.
3) Regularly recognize and celebrate your collective accomplishments.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 27. “I’m supervising people who can’t speak English.”

____________________________________________________________________
o Assume this is impossible and try to avoid your workers as much as possible.
o Work entirely through a translator.
But don’t. You can do much better than this. Here’s what you should try.
~~~~~~~~~~
Communicating well is usually a challenge for most of us, even when we speak the
same language. When we have the added difficulty of different languages,
supervision can be especially hard. You can make it more manageable by accepting
the fact that you will have to make an effort to meet your employees where they are.
Showing interest in them and kindness to them are two things that play well,
regardless of where they came from or what language they speak. A smile and a
handshake or a bow are recognized signs of friendliness and respect in virtually all
cultures. Use those universal gestures frequently.
Learn to know all their names. Even if you can’t spell their names the right way, write
them down the way you would pronounce them. Make a diagram of their work area
for yourself and put each name in the diagram in their work station, or according to
some identifying feature if they move around. That way you can learn to call them by
name. This is an important first step in supervision. They will have more respect for
you, even if you occasionally mix them up or pronounce their names poorly, than if
you simply don’t try and essentially treat them all impersonally.
You will need to work through a translator but translators have varying degrees of
competency in either language. Keep your instructions as simple as possible. Many
foreign workers want to impress you, and they may say they understand what you
have said to save face when, in fact, they really did not understand. If possible, show
them or have another skilled employee demonstrate. Check back in with them shortly
after any new instruction to be sure they have gotten started correctly and are doing
what you expected. If not, clarify.
Be present with these employees just like you would with any others: don’t look over
their shoulders every minute, but don’t neglect them either. Be sure to give them a
frequent smile or nod or “thank you” or “good work” whenever you catch them doing
something good. Everyone understands the English words, “Thank you.”
In addition, you must make an effort to learn more about their country or culture.
Seek out information on the internet, read a book, or ask your translator questions.

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Take an interest in learning their traditions, their holidays, and their values. You must
also learn a few key phrases in their language. Write these out for yourself
phonetically, as you would say them, and use them with your employees. Don’t worry
too much about the exact pronunciation, just make an effort to get close. Learn
words and phrases in their language like:
o How are you today? (And learn what their usual response means.)
o Thank you and please.
o You’re doing a good job.
o I need your help.
o See you tomorrow.
You will also want to learn their word for some of your important equipment,
processes, or projects. You can also teach them a few words of English that will be
helpful to them or will get your attention when they need it:
o Excuse me.
o Can you help me?
o I don’t understand.
Perhaps there is a way to also help them learn additional English. If your company is
big enough and has enough foreign employees, you can ask your manager whether
the company will pay for English as a Second Language (ESL) classes. If not, find
out where in your community non-English speakers can receive English instruction.
Most communities offer free classes. Encourage employees to take advantage of
these, for their own ease in living in the U.S.
Treat your non-English-speaking employees the way you should be treating everyone
else who works for you. When they have done well, make sure they know how proud
you are and how much you appreciate it. When they have broken a rule, speak with
them privately to correct them, using a translator who can be trusted to keep it
confidential.
If you follow this advice you will develop a mutual respect, and your foreign workers
may very well become some of your best. The potential gains are definitely worth
enough for you to make the extra effort.
********
Jim knew only a few words of Spanish but he knew citrus farming very well. He had
farmed the neighboring farm himself for twelve years before a large conglomerate
had bought him out. He went to work for another large grower as field supervisor.
Depending on the time of the year, he would be responsible for between eight and 35
workers.
Jim knew two other supervisors, both of whom spoke more Spanish than he did. One
of them got good results from his people. He observed their styles and realized that
the one who got better results was simply more approachable. He spent more time

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talking to his people, even when he had to use an interpreter. He tried to get to know
them. Jim began to realize there was probably more to being successful with his
workers than just the language. So with the busy season just ahead, he thought he
knew what to do.
Jim had a year-round worker who he usually used as an interpreter. He went to the
man and asked him to teach him a few more phrases in Spanish. Jim wrote them
down, spelling them the way they sounded to him. He would try to memorize these
phrases. He also asked the man if he would be willing to take him around and
introduce him to each person who worked for him by name, so he could write their
names down and learn who they were. As new workers were brought on board, Jim
then learned to know the names of each one. He tried to remember his workers, but
he kept his little notebook handy. He apologized for his limited Spanish and for not
pronouncing their names very well, but they seemed to be impressed that he was
trying.
For that first picking season, Jim was as busy as he could be. He still made time
each day to get out in the fields and check in with each person. He took his
interpreter along with him when he could spare him, and otherwise he went by
himself. His communication was limited at these times, but he wanted to be seen as
available.
Jim thought he was getting good results from the workers. As the weeks went on,
this was confirmed. It was hard to find the time to take an interest in his workers, but
it really seemed like the results were worth it, so he kept it up through the entire
season. When the results were in, Jim, the newest supervisor, had outperformed all
but one of the other five supervisors. His boss, the manager, was pleased and asked
him for his secret, especially since he had almost not hired him because of his limited
Spanish. “I think it’s because I tried to learn a little of their language and I learned
their names. I went out in the fields with them once a day. So I think it was just
because I showed some interest in them.”
Points to remember:
1) Learn the names of your foreign workers, call them by name, and show
respect.
2) Learn a few key words and phrases in their language; don’t rely entirely on a
translator.
3) Learn about their culture and traditions.
4) Teach them a few key phrases and words in English that are relevant to their
jobs.
5) Praise them for their work.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 28. “I’ve got too many young kids working for me.”
____________________________________________________________________
o Write off Generation X or Y as “no good.”

o Try indirectly to get rid of young workers who don’t live up to your notions of a
good employee.
Every group and every individual can be motivated. With some people you may have
to try different approaches. So before you write off a whole generation, consider this
instead.
~~~~~~~~~~
Do you think your father or grandfather may have said the same thing about you
when you were young? Now it’s your turn to be the one who complains about the
“young people of today.” Some things haven’t changed that much, have they?
Younger workers bring many talents and advantages. You need to think about your
own attitude and be more open; learn to harness the advantages of younger workers
while minimizing the differences between them and yourself.
It will probably help reduce your frustration with your younger workers if you have a
little better understanding of the things that have shaped their work-related values.
Workers under the age of 35 have been shaped by a very different set of world and
societal events than previous generations. For one thing, they are generally more
flexible; they have had to be because of the pace of the changes they have lived
through. That means you should: Make great use of their adaptability, especially
when a change is imminent.
Younger workers are also generally quite independent. As children, many of them
were latch-key kids, and many are from single-parent households. That’s a societal
shift that affects their values. They can take care of themselves. That means you
should: Acknowledge the talents they have and readily delegate tasks and projects
to them to show you have confidence in them. Sit down and think about one specific
talent each of your young workers has. Write it down! See if you can incorporate that
talent into a job assignment.
They are, as a whole, much less committed to the “unspoken contract” that used to
exist between employer and employee. It used to be that nearly all workers had a
feeling of long-term commitment and interest in the company and the job. The
matching commitment made by the organization was “we will keep taking care of you
as long as you keep working here.” But the younger workers saw this contract

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eroded completely. They saw grown-ups around them getting downsized in the late
1980’s and early 90’s. They saw this again after 2001. They have no feeling of trust
in the organization, and why would they?! In their experiences organizations have
been anything but stable and have often been unfair in their treatment of workers.
Even the organization’s ethics may be questionable.
These younger workers are loyal and committed to the extent they are getting
something in return over and above the salary. That means you should: Allow them
opportunities to continue to learn and grow. If you’re worried they will just move on
after you have trained and helped them, you need to rethink this. Younger workers
stay with you when they are given reason to want to stay. Allow them to use the
things they have learned—maybe by teaching others at your workplace. Don’t
hesitate to train them. They are more likely to be committed when you give them
opportunities.
They have little fear of technology and are often quite savvy with computers, printers,
telephones, mobile phones, VCR’s and DVD’s. This means you should:
Acknowledge and show them you appreciate this skill and make them, formally or
informally, in charge of or “technical consultant” for some aspect of your technology, if
they have the skill and interest in this. Their pride in “owning” this responsibility will
be a powerful motivator.
Watch your own attitude and behavior toward this group, and be sure to look for good
qualities, rather than just finding fault. It’s true that we usually get what we expect to
get in life. That means we get what we expect out of people, too. If you assume
“young workers are impossible,” then they will be. Remember that people of any age
respond to being appreciated, so be generous in thanking your workers for their work.
If you think there’s no need to thank anyone for doing what they should be doing
anyway, you will always have a hard time attracting and retaining workers in your
department or company. There is definitely a need and an important reason to say
“thank you” frequently to your employees. Do it. Younger workers, especially, do not
tolerate being taken for granted.
Young workers are especially concerned about relationships on the job. In general,
they will not put up with being treated poorly. If you want their respect and loyalty,
you have to earn it by showing them respect and appreciation first. Offer them
explanations rather than orders. Be open to their suggestions. They will respond and
reward you with hard work.
********
Lynn was the supervisor for a company that performed inventories for many large
retail stores. He would take his crew of five to twenty-five employees into the store at
the customer’s preferred time, so they could complete inventory in one visit.
Sometimes the work was at night, sometimes during the day. He had several
workers who were over 30 and liked the flexibility of the job. He considered these his
star employees. But most of his workers were 18-30 years old. Lynn thought that
was his problem. He just couldn’t get these kids motivated.

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Lynn did not like his boss, Shirley. He thought Shirley was entirely too lenient, and
Shirley did not like Lynn’s attitude. She had talked to him before about the way he
treated his younger workers. Turnover in their business was high anyway, but with
Lynn’s attitude toward many in the crew, she knew he was responsible for more
turnover than was necessary. She did most of the exit interviewing, and lately there
had been a rash of resignations. She decided it was time to talk to Lynn for the last
time.
Shirley had coached Lynn before on being more patient and respectful to everyone
on the job. It did little good. This time she laid it on the line with him. “We keep
losing people, and they say you are impossible to work with,” Lynn said. “I know that
some of those people probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway. But it’s the way
you treat them, Lynn. You treat them like they are beneath you. Find something
about each one of them that you like. Speak to them and show some interest in each
one. If this attitude doesn’t turn around, I’m going to have to let you go. You’re just
costing us too much in turnover.”
Lynn was not at all happy, but the boss had spoken. His job was on the line. He
would “try” to be a little nicer. The next day Lynn “tried” being nicer to his younger
workers, but even he thought it came across as fake. The truth was, he just didn’t like
the young kids. It was hard to pretend, although he did make a few stabs over the
next couple of weeks. Nothing really changed significantly, and he lost two more
people off his crew.
When Shirley called him into her office the next time, he knew what was coming.
Sure enough, Shirley gave him the news. “I asked both the people who left these last
few weeks how they had gotten along with you. They both said you treated them like
they weren’t human. This is just not working, Lynn. I think you will be a good worker
in the right spot, but this is not the job for you. I’m letting you go.” Lynn thought
about it for a minute. “Maybe I’ll go back to construction,” he said. Shirley wished
him good luck, and that was the end of Lynn’s career in inventory supervision. Now
Shirley was going to have to supervise the crew herself until she could replace Lynn.
She had her eye on Suzanne, who had been with the company for about a year and
seemed to get along well with most people on the jobs Shirley had been on. Maybe
Suzanne would do a better job supervising the younger workers. Shirley really hoped
so.
Points to remember:
1) Work on your own attitude first; understand why young workers may be
different from you.
2) Capitalize on the strengths they have.
3) Give them reasons why things are being done, not just orders; offer
challenges, respect, and training.
4) They will be as loyal to you as you are to them.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 29. “Every time I turn my back, they stop working.”

____________________________________________________________________
o Decide they can’t be trusted and watch them like a hawk.

o Lose your temper and tell them in no uncertain terms exactly what you expect.
But don’t. Try this instead.
~~~~~~~~
Are you completely sure that when you are out of sight nothing is truly getting done?
They may socialize more than if you are present, but some socializing is exactly what
you want. It means the group is more of a team. It probably means they work
together satisfactorily, share information, and help each other with the workload. If
so, they are providing good customer service to each other.
There has to be at least a little socializing for team work to be effective, because
people have to know and trust each other. Ask yourself whether you may be running
a very tight department when you are present, to the point that no one says a word
except when they must. If so, this might be like when you were in fifth grade, and you
had a stern teacher. Be honest here: how quiet and task-focused is your department
when you’re around? If they never talk about anything other than work, this is a
danger signal that there is too little relationship-building going on. You are being too
repressive and probably intimidating many of them, like your stern teacher was with
you. This is no way to get good steady performance out of your employees.
Looking over people’s shoulders all the time and being critical or judgmental is
micromanaging. That means you are being too controlling. When people get the
idea that you do not trust them or respect their ability enough to believe they can do
the job without your constant input, they lose respect for you. People work hard for a
boss they respect, and respect is a two-way street.
The only reason they do not socialize when you are present is that they are afraid of
you and afraid of being criticized. Fear is a motivator for work, but not a very good
one! People will do only what they absolutely must for a supervisor they fear. When
that supervisor isn’t present, they really break free, now that the pressure is off a little.
You need to back off a little bit. You will be more effective if you relax your control a
little. There are much better ways to get your employees motivated so that they will
continue to work whether you are present or not.
The best way to set a new positive tone for your team or department is to meet with
your people individually or as a group and be honest with them about trying to
change. But don’t ever have a meeting like this and say you are going to change,

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and then not follow through on what you said! People will see through this
immediately, and you will be much worse off than if you had not said you wanted to
change. No matter how much of a tyrant or how cool and reserved you have been,
your team will rally around and support you if you honestly open up with them and
take some of the pressure off yourself and them.
Take a deep breath in your meeting, and tell them that you’ve been learning some
things about being a better supervisor. You realize that you may have been a little
too strict at times or been too closed-mouth or lost your temper—or whatever the
situation is. Tell them you’d like to try to develop better working relationships so that
people feel more comfortable at work. Tell them you’ll need their help. Yes, you
really must do this! Nothing will change about their work behavior until you change
first. It is your responsibility to do so. In addition, see Challenges 20 and 22 on
getting your team to work harder with positive motivators and Challenge 24 on
horseplay.
If you need more convincing about your approach, seek out somebody at work or
elsewhere who is a good manager—one that you admire—and ask them for their
opinion. Get them to tell you what they do to get a good balance between keeping
people working and letting them socialize and bond as a team. It’s important to
establish a balance between getting work done and promoting good relationships.
If you want them to work harder when you’re not there, then you have to lighten up a
little when you are there. Instead of reprimanding them when you see them gathered
or giving them an evil look, you need to smile and go on about your own work. Better
yet, join them for a minute or two in whatever they are discussing. Show some
interest. This will probably take less than two minutes of your time. If people know
that a little socializing is allowed they appreciate it, and the majority of them do not
abuse it. If they do abuse it and truly goof off more than they work, it may become a
performance issue. See Challenge 6 on discipline.
If you can begin to set a pleasant climate in the workplace, then they will truly begin
to work harder, not less. They will be more motivated. Now they want to complete
the work for you because you’re really trying, and you’ve turned out to be a pretty
good boss after all. They will work because they want to. When you get to this point,
the same amount of work will take place whether you are present or not. Harsh
controls are not only unnecessary; they are actually counterproductive in today’s
organization.
Change yourself first. Keep up your new habits, and don’t let yourself slip back into
your old behavior. It may take a couple of months for things to really turn around but
keep it up. Once you have initiated changes, their behavior will change too.
Guaranteed.
********
The housekeeping supervisor at a large hotel was extremely frustrated. When Evelyn
took over this job nearly a year ago, things were not quite so bad. She had been

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pleased to finally get a promotion after five years of service, but the new job had not
gone well. There were morale issues and turnover had increased. She knew
someone had complained to her new boss, the hotel services manager, about her.
She had asked Evelyn to come to her office this afternoon for a meeting, and Evelyn
was worried. She knew her review was coming up, and the new boss would probably
be certain to judge her badly.
At the appointed time, Evelyn knocked on Linda Keller’s door, and Linda greeted her
pleasantly. Evelyn prepared herself for a lecture, but Linda surprised her by asking
her for her assessment of how things in her department were going. Evelyn told her,
“Not that good. I know you got that complaint about me, and I think I know who it
came from.”
Linda stopped her by saying, “I’m not interested in that right now. I want to hear from
you.”
Evelyn was surprised by this but with Linda listening carefully and occasionally
prompting her, Evelyn told the whole story… how she had lost a couple of her best
workers when she began in her position, how she had tried to run a tight department,
and how the harder she tried, the worse things seemed to get. “I have to stand over
them all the time, because if I don’t, they don’t get anything done.”
Linda told Evelyn about how she had had a similar problem when she started out in
supervision a few years back. She had been fortunate to be working at a larger
company that offered good training. She had completed basic management training,
and one of the things she had learned was that trusting employees, rather than
standing over them, was a better way to get the work done. Linda had tried it herself
and was pleased when she discovered that she really did get more out of her
employees that way. “I think you are making some of the same mistakes I did,” said
Linda. “Unfortunately, we don’t have much training around here for new supervisors.
So I’m going to let you borrow some of my material. I would really like for you to
spend thirty minutes or so each day studying some of this stuff. We can get together
about once a week to talk about what you are learning and how you can try out these
ideas. What do you think?”
Evelyn was relieved that she did not get a reprimand or a lecture. She said brightly
that she would try it. “Okay,” said Linda, “Let’s meet next week at this time, and we’ll
talk about everything.”
Among other things, one thing that Evelyn learned is that it’s a good idea to establish
an individual connection with each of her employees. She consulted with Linda
before she actually did this, and Linda encouraged her. So one-by-one she began
having private meetings with each of her employees. She asked for their ideas on
how to improve the department. She admitted to them that she was learning more
about how to better manage the department and assured them she would be open to
their ideas. This was a change! Her employees began talking among themselves,
wondering if the changes in Evelyn were real and lasting or if she was just faking it.

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When Evelyn had her second session with Linda two weeks later, she reported what
she had done by meeting with each employee individually. One-on-one, her
employees acted like they were on board and supportive. She was feeling
discouraged, though, because things really hadn’t changed much yet. Yesterday,
she had been very tempted to go back to her old ways of making the rounds to check
up on them. Linda cautioned her that these kinds of changes take time to have an
effect and urged her not to revert to her old ways. “You have to plant the seeds and
water them. Your employees probably don’t fully trust yet that you are really trying to
change your methods. They think the old Evelyn could pop up at any time to scare
them into looking busy. But keep learning this material, and keep up the good
changes you are making. I know you can do it. Call me about this any time you are
feeling stuck, okay? It’s important not to backslide or you will destroy the goodwill
you have started to build.”
Evelyn did resume making rounds once a day again, at different times, but she tried
to compliment or speak to everyone instead of inspecting their work like she used to
do. With Linda’s coaching, Evelyn’s department gradually began to turn around.
Turnover went down and productivity went up somewhat. Linda stopped getting
complaints, and Evelyn began to enjoy her job more. She felt more in control and
was proud of what she had learned and what her department was accomplishing.
Points to remember:
1) Give them respect by not micromanaging and being constantly present.

2) Trust them to do the work and don’t be so critical.
3) Meet with them individually or as a team and ask for their help to do better.
4) Look for things that they do well and show appreciation.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 30. “I’ve got problems with the boss.”

____________________________________________________________________
o Quit your job.

o Avoid the boss.
o Lose your temper and tell the boss what you really think.
But don’t. Try the following ideas first, before you lose your cool.
~~~~~~~~~~
First, you will need to admit to yourself that something you are doing is not working.
Go ahead and do it right now: say it to yourself. “I admit I’m part of the problem with
the boss, and I will have to change.” Even if it makes you cringe to think about it,
there is simply no other way. You are the one with the problem. The boss may think
things are going just fine and may be completely unaware that you don’t like him or
her. And if you have the problem, you also have the solution.
Decide in your mind that you will learn to get along better with the boss, and commit
yourself to this new challenge. Set aside your anger, your intimidation, your
frustration, because those emotions will get in your way. Whenever you feel yourself
getting upset about your boss, take a deep breath, and tell yourself that you are now
in control. Instead of anger or stress, adopt an attitude of curiosity: What makes the
boss act this way? Can some little changes that you adopt make a difference in the
boss?
Start being very observant and even asking questions. There are many reasons why
someone may be difficult to work with. Is the boss getting pressure from his or her
own manager to produce or perform? Is the boss possibly having personal problems,
like a health or a family issue that is causing considerable stress? Could it be that
he/she, much like you, is feeling inadequate and uncertain in many of the challenges
he/she faces but would never want anyone to know that? Is the boss just a very
reserved person and hard to get to know or moody and unpredictable? Maybe the
boss’ personality or style is very different from your own.
It helps your understanding and your level of patience to develop some theory about
the boss’ behavior. However, no matter what the reason is, you must make yourself
communicate with him or her. Go out of your way to speak to the boss and to offer a
kind word. That’s right—even if the boss is, in your mind, unkind. Be kind anyway!
Bosses are human too, and all human beings will eventually respond to kindness and
someone showing an interest in them. Look for opportunities to be helpful. Don’t
overdo it here; you don’t want to make it look like you are being manipulative. But be

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consistently nice. Find out what the boss’ priorities are and do anything you can to
help him or her meet those goals and priorities.
When you have the opportunity to speak to the boss privately, ask how he or she is
doing. If there has been an obvious change in behavior, tell the boss in a caring way,
“I’ve noticed that you really seem to be under a lot of stress in the last few weeks.”
Then listen carefully to see if the boss will be honest with you. Most bosses are
somewhat reserved in how much they will admit to their subordinates, and that is
probably wise. If their behavior is affecting you and your team, it could be helpful to
know what’s going on. The boss may give you some general hints about what is
troubling her. If she does, remain supportive and open to the ways in which you can
help her.
It’s probably unlikely the boss will tell you about personal problems but he or she may
share enough general information that will shed light on the current negative
behavior. If so, be patient. All of us go through bad periods, and you would want the
same patience and support if you were the one having problems.
I hear your mental protest here: “You keep telling me to help him! No way! You
don’t know the awful things he’s done. He’s impossible to get along with, and I’m
overworked anyway. Why should I help him?” There is a very good reason why you
need to take this advice seriously: because it will make your own life much easier if
you do! Make yourself have more positive thoughts. If you remain angry, resentful,
or fearful of the boss’ behavior, then things will never get any better for you. Even if
you have decided that you want to look for another job, it will make your life easier in
the meantime, until you find another position, if you can get along better on your
current job.
You can’t change someone else’s attitude directly but you unquestionably can
change your own attitude and your own behavior. When you relate to the boss in a
different way, he or she will begin to change too, very slightly at first. By controlling
yourself, you will have an indirect but important impact on the boss’ behavior. By
showing some interest and some compassion, the boss is very likely to start being
easier for you to work with. The boss thinks you seem a little nicer, so he/she will
want to be just a little nicer to you, too. Going out of your way is in your own long-
term best interest; your work life will be improved and stress reduced.
You can find something to like or appreciate about anyone, so concentrate on

whatever good qualities the boss has. There must be something that led him or her
into the present management job. Continue to remind yourself of what the boss does
well.
Invite your boss to a meeting you are having with your team and invite the boss to
speak on a particular issue. Offer your team’s assistance or support in the boss’
projects. Allow yourself and your team to become more visible to the boss.
Especially emphasize recent accomplishments that you know are important to the
boss.

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If other people around you start to become suspicious of your changed attitude of
supporting the boss or at least refusing to complain about her, tell them about your
“kill her with kindness” approach. It’s a project you will succeed in. And it doesn’t
have to be like you are now taking sides against the others and are on your boss’
“side.” You can still support your team, but you are just trying to make yours and
everyone’s life easier. Be a model for helping your team appreciate the manager. If
your boss should question your motives or your change of attitude, just say, “Well,
when I can keep you happy it makes my life easier too.”
If the boss never seems to want to listen, this is another instance where you should
take that as your cue to try a different approach. The way you approach an issue and
your timing are two things you can improve.
Let’s say, for example, that you have a genuine concern about a work process and an
idea of how you’d like to change it to make things easier, faster, cheaper, or more
effective. But the boss dismisses your concerns or never seems to have time to hear
your ideas. Take a different approach. Clearly identify the problem, and write it
down. Write down the negative things that are occurring with the current process.
Gather at least two or three specific instances or examples of what the problem is and
how it is negatively affecting others in the organization (too slow, costs too much, an
unnecessary step, does not serve the customer, etc.) Write all this down concisely
and write your recommendation as to what should be done. Explain how your
recommendation would solve the problem. If possible give an estimate of how much
it would cost and how long it might take to make the change, as well as who would be
responsible and other pertinent information.
Make an appointment with your boss and let him/her know how much time you will
need when you schedule the appointment. Be careful to select a time that is truly
convenient for your boss, too. Approach this meeting confidently with your
information fully prepared. Go to the meeting with a positive and helpful attitude, and
not an attitude of criticism. One of the fastest ways you can get your boss to shut
down is by being critical of the organization or of the boss’ management. Maybe your
approach has not been professional enough before to impress the boss. This time
it’s different.
Begin your conversation by openly stating that you want to do the best job possible
and that you want the boss to look good in the eyes of his/her superiors. Be sure you
emphasize how this idea of yours will solve some problem for the boss or tie it to
something that you know is quite important to the boss. Give her your written
summary and offer to take the next action step towards your solution. When you
present solutions rather than complaints, you will often get what you need. The key is
to be assertive in a positive and respectful way.
You have quite a bit of control in making the relationship with the boss more tolerable.
It’s up to you. Take a deep breath, and just do it!
********

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Jennifer was a shift supervisor at a national restaurant chain. Her boss, Carlton, was
the restaurant manager. Carlton had always been aloof and business-like. Lately, he
had started to become explosive. Jennifer’s own style was in marked contrast to this.
She loved meeting the public and felt close to those she supervised; she really
enjoyed her work and was nearly always in a good mood.
Jennifer witnessed Carlton’s temper twice last week, once when he lectured the grill
cook publicly and once when she overheard him yelling at a waitress and had the girl
in tears. At least Carlton was careful not to lose his temper in front of customers.
Then Jennifer herself had been the victim of his rage yesterday when he lost his
temper with her over her scheduling coverage while she had one person on vacation
and two others sick. At first Jennifer was angry herself at the way Carlton had acted.
Then she decided she would use a system that an older friend had taught her once
before on a previous job with a difficult boss. She thought about it overnight. Next
day, she went to work with a new resolve, determined to make working with Carlton
more bearable for herself and others.
Before he could seek her out with a complaint, Jennifer went and found Carlton, and
greeted him cheerfully. She said she just wanted to find out what he needed
specifically from her today. When Carlton grumbled, “You know what you’re
supposed to do. Why are you asking me?” Jennifer replied very cheerfully that
because he had been upset with her yesterday she just wanted to make sure whether
he had any special instructions for the scheduling she was going to work on today or
if there was anything else she could do to help him do his job better. Carlton said no
and dismissed her. Jennifer continued to go out of her way to be nice to Carlton for
the remainder of that day and that week. She always went and greeted him first thing
when she arrived and asked what she could do for him. One day he actually
mentioned something about some of the pressure he had been under from the
regional director, his boss. Jennifer started coaching the staff on her shift to be extra
nice to Carlton. A few of them agreed to try it.
Finally one day Carlton asked her why she seemed to be acting extra nice to him.
Jennifer told him she wanted to get along better with him. Things had seemed to be
deteriorating and she just didn’t like to work in a place where she could not get along
with the boss. “I really want things to be more of a team around here, more like a
family, you know,” said Jennifer. “I want to like you, Carlton.”
Carlton seemed amused and asked her whether he had really been that difficult.
“Yes,” said Jennifer. “You’ve been pretty bad, especially when you lose your temper.”
She hesitated and then smiled so her response might be met with humor. Sure
enough, Carlton seemed to loosen up a little. It took time and patience on Jennifer’s
part. She began to see that Carlton treated her and her employees who were trying
her methods more favorably than he treated the others. This was all the proof she
needed that her tactics were working. Things were already a little better. She would
have to try harder to persuade the others who hadn’t gotten on board with being extra
nice to Carlton. She smiled to herself as she realized, “Bosses really are partly under
our control.”

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Points to remember:
1) Change your own attitude and realize that you have some control over the
situation.
2) Go out of your way to be nice and to be understanding of the boss.
3) Find out the boss’ most important priorities and work to assist with those; try to
make the boss look good.
4) Be careful and organized about your approach with any issue or suggestion;
go to the boss with solutions, not complaints.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 31. “How do I handle all the gossiping and rumors?”

____________________________________________________________________
o Listen to and pass on those juicy secrets yourself because you love that kind
of thing or because you want your employees to think of you as part of the
gang.
o Give them a severe lecture about gossiping and come down hard on violators.
But don’t. Try this instead.
~~~~~~~~~~
As a leader you positively must adhere to the rule of “no gossiping or spreading hear-
say, and no divulging confidential information.” If you can’t do this, you simply are not
ready for a leadership position. Period. Gossip and rumor is usually very hurtful to
the victim of the gossip and rarely bears much resemblance to the truth. When you
listen to, tolerate, or pass on this kind of information you are hurting those around you
and diminishing your own level of professionalism and the respect others have for
you. If you have been accustomed to being part of the gossip circle, resolve to
change that immediately. Next time someone comes to you with this sort of thing,
simply wave them away and tell them you do not want to hear it. By virtue of being a
supervisor now, you are not part of “the gang” anymore. There are certain things you
must set aside when you accept a leadership role; it comes with the territory. So stop
participating right now.
Your very best ammunition as a supervisor is to build people up with praise and
appreciation for their good qualities. When you gossip you are tearing people down.
Even if the gossiping is with a peer or a very good friend, it always comes back to
haunt you. Good leaders do not repeat misinformation, half-truths, and speculation,
and they never repeat any information told to them in confidence.
If you are unwilling to listen or give any credibility to the gossip you hear, chances are
it will become less of an issue in your team. Your modeling of good behavior is
another reason why you must never participate. People look to you as an example of
the way they should conduct themselves. If you are not part of the gossip and rumor
mill and regularly suggest to other people that they should also not pass on this
information, the level of gossip will diminish. If you still find that there is too much of
this going on, have a team meeting and discuss the problem collectively with your
group.
Without naming names, begin the discussion by saying that you are concerned about
something and you need their help. Tell them you’ve been trying to encourage more
teamwork, and you have been seeing some positive signs that people are working

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together better. But you are concerned about the amount of gossip that is occurring
because it hurts individuals and hurts teamwork. Pose this question to the whole
group: “ What ideas do you have for how we can work together to develop better
teamwork habits and reduce hurtful information?”
Asking them for their ideas on how to solve this kind of a problem may sound like it is
exactly the wrong approach. On the surface you may think this makes it seem like
you are not in control. The truth is, however, that if you come to them and tell them
what is going to be done, like you are giving them a lecture, they are unlikely to pay
much attention. They may be careful the first few days, but resentment will build, and
they will revert to their old habits. They will just be more careful that they don’t let you
hear them when they gossip.
Teams solve problems better than any one person working alone can. When you are
a big enough person to let your team in on helping to develop a positive solution, they
will be grateful to you for respecting them enough to ask. They will respect you more
in return. When they participate in the solution they will get on board and support it.
Deep inside they know gossiping is not a good thing, anyway. A joint solution is the
best solution.
The solution may be something like: 1) Everyone votes at the end of the day for who
did the best that day to stay positive and not talk about others and why they voted for
that person. At the end of the week the person with the most votes wins a small prize
for “most improved.” 2) People caught gossiping will be asked to put $1 in a jar each
time and the proceeds will be given weekly to some charity cause. 3) Anyone caught
gossiping about “Person A” has to write a really nice note to “Person A” telling them
something they appreciate about them or some good quality they have noticed.
These are just a few examples. Your group will come up with other solutions, no
doubt, and you should use what they suggest. You can also offer the group ideas if
you have them. Always be prepared for your solution to be outvoted, however, as
another idea may be preferred by your group. Let them know you will accept their
solution if it works. If not, you will have to institute stricter measures.
Once everyone has agreed on a plan, be sure to comment positively on the good
changes that are being made within your team as they implement the solution. Thank
them regularly. Comment often on how much better things are going, if they do begin
going better. If and when gossip still rears its ugly head, remind them again of your
expectations and what they all agreed on. If it continues, especially with one or two
serious offenders, talk to them privately by using a positive confrontation technique as
described in Challenge 18 on dealing with the employee who won’t perform.
********
Ajai was concerned about the proliferation of gossip in his department. Ajai was the
new supervisor of the bindery department for a large printing operation. He had
previously worked in the set-up department as the lead operator, and this was a
promotion for him. When he had become supervisor he had been required to watch a

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series of training videos. Some of the information on the videos was pretty good and
would be helpful, but nothing he had learned had addressed the issue of what to do
about rumors and gossip.
Ajai was set to have the third of his monthly staff meetings with his eleven operators
next week. He decided he would just tell them there was too much gossip and that it
was hurting morale, and they should stop. He did, just like he planned. The trouble
was, this only seemed to work for a few days. Soon everything was back just like
before his little speech.
He went to his old boss who had been his mentor and was now his peer. Betty
suggested that he call the group together and, rather than telling them what to do, ask
them for their ideas. He needed to emphasize how hurtful gossip was and that
everyone was going to be held to a new standard. Then let the group offer ideas. So
at his next staff meeting Ajai tried it that way. The first person who spoke up made a
humorous comment, and then several others cracked jokes. Ajai waited patiently,
just as Betty had suggested. Then someone finally spoke up and made a suggestion
that anyone caught gossiping by anyone else in the department had to pay a fine.
Ajai looked around and asked people if they thought this would work. Most people
were nodding their heads. “Does that include breaks?” someone asked. Several
people started to argue about this, and it was clear that there was no agreement.
Finally Ajai stepped in and said, “For the first two weeks, let’s say you only have to
pay the fine if you are caught gossiping in the department. After that time, we should
be getting in better habits. Then the fine will be for any time you are on the property
and are caught gossiping. Will that work?” Several people were reluctant to agree
because they thought what they did and said on their own time, like breaks, was no
one else’s business. “But you are still on work property and what you say and do
does affect other people here. I think you can all do this, and I think our trust and
morale level will be higher. Are you willing to do this with me?” Everyone agreed,
although some less eagerly than others.
After the first two weeks, they had collected a total of $12. People were really being
on their best behavior. At the end of that time, Ajai sent everyone a memo reminding
them that beginning the first of next week, the fine applied to gossiping anywhere at
work. He thanked them for their participation so far and said he thought the plan was
working and that they were all benefiting.
Sure enough within one month, gossiping had been reduced considerably. At his
next staff meeting Ajai asked people whether they liked the new atmosphere where
they did not have to worry about who might be spreading rumors about them. Most
people agreed and thought they should continue the plan.

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Points to remember:
1) Call a group meeting to discuss morale issues and get ideas for reducing
gossip.
2) Implement the best ideas(s) suggested by your group.
3) Hold the group absolutely accountable for new and higher behavior standards.

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____________________________________________________________________
Challenge 32. “I have a bad temper I need to control.”

____________________________________________________________________
You might tempted to:
o Assume that’s just the way you are, and other people will have to accept you
that way.
o Think you can simply apologize each time after you explode and that will take
care of it.
But don’t you believe either of these things! You need a new way to handle your
temper. You may not be in control of a situation, and you will never be in control of
another person’s behavior. But everyone can learn to stay in control of their own
behavior. Try the following ideas.
~~~~~~~~~~
Sometime very soon when you are feeling fairly calm, take a nice walk alone
outdoors or get yourself seated in a comfortable place where you are by yourself.
You need to have a little heart-to-heart talk with yourself.
The first question to ask yourself is “Do I really and truly want to change?” Think
about your answer carefully. If you can’t answer an enthusiastic “yes,” then there is
no sense in going any further in this section. Chances are good that you will not be
going any further in your career, either. Some people pick up bad habits through their
life experiences in managing their anger or negative emotions and explode without
thinking. On some level, this explosiveness makes them feel in control of others; it
gives them a false sense of power. A bad temper is a serious liability in
management, however. You may even face demotion or have difficulty holding a job.
If you are serious about changing and controlling your outbursts, give careful thought
to why you want to change. Build yourself a list of compelling reasons. Write them
down. Has the boss said you must change or your job may be in jeopardy? Do you
fully understand that your career potential will be limited until you gain more self-
control? Is your temper causing strained relationships and stress at work? Is it
negatively impacting your personal and family life? Force yourself to remember the
times when you have hurt others with your outbursts or demanding approach.
Visualize their faces and how you have caused them pain. No one likes a bully for
very long—and an apology afterwards will never erase what you said or did in anger.
People may try to “forgive” but they don’t quite trust you; they live in fear of the next
hurt you will dish out. Force yourself to remember times when you may have been
embarrassed after you lost your temper. Are there times when you have backed
yourself in a corner and had a temper-tantrum instead of admitting you were wrong?

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You will need to create this kind of powerful motivation for yourself in order to change.
For any of us to change an ingrained habit, we must have powerful reasons for doing
so. Your motivation must be based on your beliefs, your thoughts, your feelings,
your visualizing, and your actions. To create a new habit will involve all of those
aspects, not just one part of you. Instead of holding on to the belief about yourself
that you have a bad temper, change your belief and your thoughts to: “Even though I
used to have temper, I am a person who has learned to control it, and my life works
much better now.” You have to begin thinking of yourself in a new way if you, in fact,
want to be a new person. If you continue in your negative belief about yourself, this is
just a cop-out and a justification for your continued bad behavior.
Anger management programs are common. Seek one out and enroll. You will be
with others who are having the same struggle. It will be inspiring to hear of their
successes. Check with your local hospital or doctor. A temper has many negative
health consequences. Check, too, with your county recreation office, community
mental health center, or a local college or university continuing education program;
any of these may be sources of potential help.
In addition to a class, there are a number of anger-control techniques you can try on
your own or with the help of a friend.
1) Think of a model—a person you admire who remains level-headed in difficult

situations. Observe this person carefully and see if you can develop some of
their behavioral style. If you can have contact with them, ask them how they
do it. Ask for their advice on how they stay calm in tense times.
2) Use distraction to your advantage. Develop a plan for something funny or
kooky you can do when you get tense. Doing something unusual to disrupt
your anger pattern will often help break the pattern. For example, pull out
your joke book quickly and read several jokes until you feel yourself becoming
less tense.
3) You can also have a friend/partner who is with you a lot and is working with
you to improve your anger management. The friend could provide the
distraction. Call or go see them right away. It may be especially helpful if they
can make you laugh.
4) Use a timeout process for yourself. If you are in a situation where you feel
your temper rising, immediately excuse yourself and move to another physical
location. Take some deep breaths. Remain out of the situation for a few
minutes in order to calm down.
5) Rehearse a positive script or scene in your mind ahead of time for whenever
you believe you may have a difficult situation or confrontation coming up.
Visualize the situation and the potential conflict. Practice saying your
comments calmly. See yourself remaining calm. Think about how that
calmness feels in your body so you can remember and recreate it later when
the situation is tense. Visualize yourself being successful in controlling anger
as often as you can. Play make-believe often and imagine yourself in a tough
interaction where you successfully control your temper. See it in as much
detail as possible.

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132
6) Keep a journal. Writing down the behaviors and feelings is a great way to
increase your own awareness and to become more analytical and committed
to change. Write down your successes as well as your challenges. With your
challenges, write what you could have done differently.
7) Work with a coach, someone who is committed to your self-improvement
project. This could be someone who is with you a lot and can point out when
things are going well and can even give you subtle prompts when they see
you beginning to lose your cool. Your coach could be a professional that you
have periodic contact with, in person or by phone. They can talk over
situations with you after they occur, making suggestions and reinforcing your
improvements; they can help you plan and practice a more appropriate
response.
8) Whenever you are successful, give yourself praise and congratulations.
Confide your success and pride to anyone else who knows what you are
trying to do about controlling your temper. Celebrate small victories and they
will become bigger ones. At the same time, don’t beat yourself up over an
occasional slip. Continue to be committed to your goal, and over time
mistakes will get less serious and less frequent.
As you continue to improve in this area, you will see others responding to you much
more positively. You will greatly enhance your relationships and your leadership
effectiveness.
********
Anthony called Ricardo and Chip over to Bay 3 of the loading dock. He had told them
before that items must not be left out in the staging area. It was a safety hazard, and
Anthony intended to run his department by the books. In his seven years as
transportation supervisor at Hawthorne’s he had had only one minor accident. Some
of the production areas had much worse records. Anthony really let Chip and
Ricardo have it. He just lost his temper and even said a few choice words. Well,
damn it, they knew better so they deserved it.
In the middle of his outburst Anthony noticed that Mark had walked around the
corner, looking for him. Mark was operations manager and his boss. Mark was also
the son of the owner and founder of this cabinet-making operation which sold
products to a number of large home improvement stores. Mark overheard the last
few sentences. He didn’t say anything right away, but he walked into Anthony’s
office. Anthony followed. He was still hot from his tirade to his workers.
Mark said, “Anthony, you have got to get control of your temper. We have talked
about this before, because you’ve chased off good employees with your hot-
headedness. I thought you were improving but not if this is any indication.”
Anthony protested, “Yeah, but it was a safety hazard, and they knew it.”
“Well, they should be written up for a safety violation. But you don’t get people to
improve their behavior by yelling at them.”

Volume 1
Copyright 2003
Emily A. Sterrett
133
“It always worked for my father,” said Anthony quietly.
“Well, it’s not how we do it here,” said Mark. “I want you to take a class in anger
management. Find a class and we’ll pay for it. You do good work, Anthony, but,
honestly, you have really got to get a handle on this.”
Anthony was not pleased that he had gotten caught, but his job was clearly on the
line. An anger management class!! What a waste of time. Well, the boss had told
him to do it, so he had better make it look like he was doing something about it. Next
time, he’d just be more careful about who was around to overhear him. Anthony
called the local community college looking for a class, and they referred him to the
community mental health center. Mental health?! He wasn’t crazy, and he almost
didn’t call. But something made him follow through.
The woman that answered the phone was very pleasant and engaged Anthony in
conversation. She said that, indeed, they offered such classes and that one series
had just started two nights ago; it was scheduled to last for six weeks. She said the
instructor might still let him into the class if Anthony would contact him and would
agree to do the reading and the homework practice. Homework?! Anthony was not
pleased about being “in school” again. But the woman reassured him that it would be
a lot more interesting and that the other people in the class were all adults and the
instructor treated them with respect and helpfulness. She told him how to pay for the
class and that they would have to receive his payment before the second class.
He decided to go ahead and call the instructor. He returned Anthony’s call and told
Anthony that, yes, he would let him into the class if he agreed to do the first session’s
work. The instructor sent him the reading material as an email attachment and even
sent his own notes. Anthony got the material within two hours of his recent temper
outburst. That ought to make Mark happy, he thought.
Anthony started reading the material later that day. He had to agree that a lot of what
he was reading made sense and sounded like it could have been written about him.
When class night arrived, though, he was nervous. There were seven other people in
the class, and the instructor was actually very nice. He welcomed Anthony and
everyone introduced themselves briefly.
Over the next five weeks Anthony did learn some things about why he felt angry. He
learned about the negative impacts on his own health and how anger was so
detrimental to relationships, both business and personal. His wife had told him some
of these things too, before she left him several years ago. He had refused to go to
counseling with her. The stories of others in his class were similar, in some cases, to
his own. This time he was finally getting the message. There was homework each
week, both reading and some activity he was supposed to do. Anthony began to
realize that maybe there was something to all this stuff after all as he tried out some
of the activities at work.

Volume 1
Copyright 2003
Emily A. Sterrett
134
One day at work Mark asked him how the anger management classes were going.
He told him he thought Anthony seemed a little calmer and that he must be learning
some things, because he didn’t think Anthony had lost his temper at all lately. “Well, I
have come close—twice. But I caught myself in time. So I guess I am learning a few
things. And the odd thing is that I feel a little less stress at work. I really have started
feeling a little calmer now that I am not letting myself get upset about so many
things.”
“I see the improvement, and I’m proud of you,” said Mark. “I hope you will continue to
make progress.”
“We only have one more class,” said Anthony, “but the instructor has offered us an
optional session in three weeks if we want to come back in and get any advice or
anything. I’ll see how I do, but I may go back and just check in with him.”
“I knew you could do it,” said Mark. Anthony beamed, proud of his newly-developing
self-control. Who knew? Maybe there was even a chance for him and his wife…
Points to remember:
1) Resolve that you can and will improve.

2) Adopt one or more anger control techniques.
3) Get help from someone who is interested in your success.
4) Continue to practice and acknowledge your own positive steps.

Volume 1
Copyright 2003
Emily A. Sterrett
135

Common People-Management Problems

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Common People-Management Problems

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Quick, What Do I Do?

“I’m Supposed to Supervise

First Aid for Common People-Management Problems

Emily A. Sterrett, Ph.D.

1) I have to conduct an important meeting.

Quick, What Do I Do?

What’s This Book All About, Anyway?

Having a title—assistant manager, team leader, department supervisor—can make you

This book is written from a supervisor’s perspective. It’s presented as a series of

Challenge 1. “I have to conduct an important meeting.”

You might be tempted to:

Quick, What Do I Do?

Quick, What Do I Do?

1) Plan the purpose and agenda of your meeting ahead of time.

Quick, What Do I Do?

Challenge 2. “I’ve got to interview somebody.”

You might be tempted to:

o Panic and try to hand the task over to someone else.

Quick, What Do I Do?

Quick, What Do I Do?

Quick, What Do I Do?

Quick, What Do I Do?

1) Carefully list qualities and qualifications you are looking for.

Quick, What Do I Do?

Challenge 3. “I’m supposed to be in charge of a big project.”

You might be tempted to:

You might be tempted, but don’t do it this way. Instead, do it as follows.

If this is a newly-forming committee, you may have some choice in selecting

Quick, What Do I Do?

Quick, What Do I Do?

Quick, What Do I Do?

Quick, What Do I Do?

1) Plan carefully who will be on your committee – be inclusive.

Quick, What Do I Do?

Challenge 4. “I need to make a big decision.”

You might be tempted to:

Quick, What Do I Do?

Quick, What Do I Do?

Quick, What Do I Do?

Quick, What Do I Do?

Challenge 5. “I’ve got so many deadlines and time pressures.”

Before you do something you might regret, try this.

1) “I think I should be doing…___________ because…

Quick, What Do I Do?

Quick, What Do I Do?

Quick, What Do I Do?

1) Develop a draft list of priorities as you see them.

Quick, What Do I Do?

Your first reaction may be to:

o Say it quickly and emphatically and be done with it as soon as possible.

Quick, What Do I Do?

What you want to accomplish in a termination interview is an amicable separation

Yesterday when Rachel was supposed to be supervising the children on the

Quick, What Do I Do?

Quick, What Do I Do?

1) Counsel with the employee on several occasions.

Quick, What Do I Do?

Challenge 7. “I’ve got to do employee performance reviews, and I don’t know

You might be tempted to:

• Keep putting it off and hope this task will go away.

A performance review, performance appraisal, or performance evaluation (all these

Quick, What Do I Do?

1-2 3-4 5-6 7-8 9-10

Unacceptable. Below average. Average Above average Superstar