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T H E C O M M U N I T Y

LETTER
www.theletteronline.com VOLUME 22, ISSUE 5 • MAY 2011

Grateful Youth Group Alums Organize


by Dave VanderPol, Executive Editor, Matt Spencer & Raquelle Bradley

L
ouisville Youth Group (LYG), an organization that for over The adults who took the time out that Friday night to watch a movie
20 years has provided a safe, supportive space for GLBT and with a group of us kids changed my life. After a week of trying to blend
questioning youth, recently announced the establishment at home and school we love coming on Fridays and being able to be
of an alumni group. Open to former members age 21 and over, ourselves.
Louisville Youth Group Alumni was created with a vision to help Like many Louisville GLBT adults, LYG has been there to help me grow
alumni reconnect with one another and, in the process, invest time into the strong, outgoing person I am today. Our new alumni program
and resources to help LYG reach current and future generations of is an amazing opportunity for all of us to reunite and gather together on
queer and questioning youth. our journeys as GLBT and allied adults in our community. Just by being
Alumni Raquelle Bradley and Matt Spencer share about the yourself, you can change the live of a youth.” – Raquelle Bradley
Raquelle Bradley
positive impact LYG had on their coming out process and how it LYG Alumnae 2009 - 2011
continues to impact their lives as adults. Bradley and Spencer are Shortly before I came out to my parents, I attended my first meeting
staying busy as the work to establish their alumni organization. of the Louisville Youth Group, an organization dedicated to supporting
GLBT and questioning youth. My life would never be the same.
“Growing up as a lesbian in a conservative family was not easy. I Twelve years later, I can easily identify how my involvement in LYG
was depressed and embarrassed much of my childhood, knowing I was has shaped my life. The education and empowerment that I received from
different. High school included many trips to the hospital, getting on and LYG provided me with the strength to venture into political activism,
off medications, depression, a suicide attempt, cutting, and self-hatred. social change and workplace equality. LYG support of self-expression
The future was a very scary thing to even consider and I avoided thinking enabled me to embrace my individuality. Discovering that helped me to
about it at all costs. love myself, which in turn makes it easier for me to love the man whom I
I remember wanting to be around gay adults as much as possible to see call my partner.
what it was like, and if they were really as “evil” as I had been told. Before LYG is not solely responsible for my life today. But once upon a time,
Louisville Youth Group (LYG), the only examples of lesbian women I had, its leaders and mentors recognized that I, like most GLBT youth, needed
were ones on TV, and online. When I built up the courage to attend LYG, support. I was surrounded with encouragement, care and compassion at a
I was immediately encouraged as soon as I walked through the door. I felt time when I needed it the most.
comforted by how confident, happy, “normal” they were, and saw hope Matt Spencer
for the first time. (See Grateful Youth Group Alums Organize, continued on page 13) LYG Alumni 1998 - 2001

Daniel Mason
(502) 966-5178
4610 Outer Loop
Louisville
danielcmason@allstate.com
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MAY 2011 www.theletteronline.com The COMMUNITY Letter 3



THE COMMUNIT Y

www.theletteronline.com Federal Agency Proposes Steps


Post Office Box 7842 To Improve GLBT Health
Louisville, KY 40257
Last month the U.S. Department of Health and Human
(502) 419-2597 Services (HHS) committed to a course of action it will take
Founded in June 1990 by in order to improve the health and well-being of the GLBT
Jeffrey Goldsmith & community. Their recommendations were developed in
Humphrey Marshall response to the Presidential Memorandum on Hospital
Visitation, which, in addition to addressing the rights of
EXECUTIVE EDITOR/WEBMASTER
ADVERTISING & DISTRIBUTION:
patients to designate visitors regardless of sexual orientation
Dave VanderPol: (502) 419-2597 or gender identity, directed the HHS leadership to explore
editor@theletteronline.com additional steps it could take to improve the lives of GLBT
people.
With an estimated readership of over The agency issued a statement acknowledging that “For
10,000, THE COMMUNITY LETTER is
distributed throughout the six state too long, LGBT people have been denied the compassionate
region of Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio, services they deserve. That is now changing. HHS continues
Tennessee, Illinois, & Missouri to make significant progress toward protecting the rights
of every American to access quality care, recognizing that
REGULAR CONTRIBUTORS
Cubbie Britches diverse populations have distinctive needs. Safeguarding
Mike Buford the health and well-being of all Americans requires a
Marie Davis commitment to treating all people with respect while being
James Hensley sensitive to their differences.”
Margaret Hults
Eric Jost The federal agency recommended the following actions
Michael Kimmel be taken to help meet the community’s “distinctive needs”.
Holly Knight • Later this year, HealthCare.gov, HHS’s innovative
Bryn Marlow new on-line tool called for by the Affordable Care Act,
George Morrison
Beth Ann Rubin will provide additional information of specific relevance
Brian Rzepczynski to LGBT populations. In particular, the website will
Ren Scheuerman allow LGBT consumers to identify health insurance
David Williams policies available to them that include coverage of domestic partners.
DISTRIBUTION TEAM: • HHS will conduct outreach to organizations that serve LGBT communities to make them aware of available funding
Derrick, Cheese, Gerald, opportunities and, in Funding Opportunity Announcements, highlight programs that may particularly benefit LGBT
Hazel, Laura, Marie & James. populations.
Publication of the name, photograph • The Department will continue to work toward increasing the number of federally-funded health and demographic
or likeness of any person, organization, surveys that collect and report sexual orientation and gender identity data, consistent with the President’s support for
or business in articles or advertising evidence-based policies. In collaboration with other agencies throughout HHS, the Centers for Disease Control and
in THE COMMUNITY LETTER or on its
companion websites is not to be Prevention (CDC) is leading an effort to develop and test questions on sexual orientation and gender identity. The
construed as an indication of the Office of the Assistant Secretary for Health is also reviewing existing LGBT data and will generate baselines and targets
sexual orientation of such person, addressing LGBT health disparities through the Healthy People 2020 initiative. This process will include meetings with
organization or business. LGBT data experts and stakeholders to provide transparency and opportunities for input.
THE COMMUNITY LETTER assumes • HHS will continue to evaluate ways its programs can ensure equal treatment of LGBT families. For example, HHS
no responsibility for unsolicited will advise states and tribes that federal law allows them to treat LGBT couples similarly to non-LGBT couples with
materials submitted for publication. respect to human services benefit programs such as Temporary Assistance for Needy Families and child care. The Centers
for Medicare & Medicaid Services will also notify states of their ability to provide same-sex domestic partners of long-
THE COMMUNITY LETTER
reserves the right to edit or term care Medicaid beneficiaries the same treatment as opposite-sex spouses in the contexts of estate recovery, imposition
reject any advertisement. of liens, and transfer of assets. This includes not seizing or imposing a lien on the home of a deceased beneficiary if the
same-sex domestic partner still resides in the home. It also includes allowing Medicaid beneficiaries needing long-term
© 2011. The Community Letter. care to transfer the title of a home to a same-sex domestic partner, allowing the partner to remain in the home.
All rights reserved.
• HHS will encourage new and existing health profession training programs, including behavioral health (e.g. mental
health, substance abuse, and HIV) programs, to include LGBT cultural competency curricula. The lack of culturally
competent providers is a significant barrier to quality health care for many LGBT people, particularly those who
identify as transgender. HHS’s Health Resources and Services Administration will also convene professional groups
JUNE 2011 DEADLINES that represent LGBT health providers and students to identify challenges and opportunities for training LGBT providers
and to isolate strategies geared toward increasing culturally competent care for LGBT patients. In consultation with
Press releases and Regional LGBT communities, HHS will develop cultural competency goals and promote the use of cultural competency curricula
Calendar items must be inclusive of LGBT populations in future grants guidance. Moreover, to improve the capacity of practitioners in addressing
received no later than behavioral health needs, HHS’s Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration will utilize existing federal
and national training and technical assistance networks to support the adoption of behavioral health training materials.
Friday, May 13, 2011. • HHS will provide guidance on the array of training and technical assistance available to state child welfare agencies
to support LGBT youth, caregivers, and foster and adoptive parents.
Advertising reservations must be HHS further promised to will continue to address discrimination, harassment, and violence against all individuals,
received no later than including LGBT individuals, through domestic violence and other violence prevention programs. This includes
Friday, May 20, 2011. recognizing LGBT populations as underserved communities in 2011 and 2012 Funding Opportunity Announcements
under the Family Violence Prevention and Services Program and, where appropriate, identifying LGBT populations as
target populations for population-specific grants.
All items should be sent to HHS also promised to integrate an even stronger component focusing on LGBT youth in all anti-bullying initiatives and
editor@theletteronline.com. continue working with the White House, Departments of Education, Agriculture, Defense, Interior, and Justice to ensure that
states, schools, and the general public are aware of the resources available.

4 The COMMUNITY Letter www.theletteronline.com MAY 2011


Kentucky HIV/AIDS Agency Seek Public Input
Lindsey Saling, a graduate student in the School of Public Health and Information
Sciences at the University of Louisville, is working in the HIV/AIDS division of the
Kentucky Department of Public Health. Her special focus is on the work being done by
the Kentucky HIV/AIDs Planning and Advisory Council (KHPAC). KHPAC provides
planning and advisement assistance to the Cabinet for Health and Family Services and
the Kentucky General Assembly regarding HIV/AIDS prevention, care and legislation.
KHPAC needs the voice of the communities infected and affected by HIV/AIDS to
help them fulfill their mission.
For more information visit http://chfs.ky.gov/dph/epi/HIVAIDS/KHPAC.htm
or contact Saling at (502) 494-3447 or write to lindseysaling@gmail.com.

Tennessee House Voids Nashville Non-Discrimination Ordinance


[Reprinted with permission of Out & About Newspaper]
On Monday, April 25 the Tennessee House approved a bill that would reverse a
Nashville city ordinance barring discrimination against GLBT employees. House
members voted 73-24 in favor of the proposed legislation. Sponsored by Republican
Glen Casada of Williamson County, it would nullify a Nashville ordinance prohibiting
companies that discriminate against gays and lesbians from doing business with the
city. THE COMMUNITY LETTER Salutes…
As of press time, a companion bill was awaiting a vote in the Tennessee Senate’s State
and Local Government committee.
Under existing state law it is illegal to discriminate against a person because of race, Carla Wallace
creed, color, religion, sex, age or national origin. On April 5, Metro extended those
for her visionary leadership on behalf of
protected classes to include sexual orientation and gender identity.
equality and other social issues. Your
[Copyright 2011, Out & About Newspaper. Reprinted with permission.]
service to our community is truly inspiring!

Navy Retains Suspected Gay Sailor


Targeted for "Unprofessional Conduct"
Servicemembers United, a national organization of gay and
lesbian troops and veterans, saluted last month’s decision by the
Navy to drop discharge proceedings against Petty Office Stephen
Jones. Jones, who is stationed at the Naval Nuclear Power Training
Command in Charleston, SC, was undergoing separation from
the Navy for what his civilian lawyer and Servicemembers
United strongly alleged were trumped up charges based on the
command's suspicion that Jones might be gay.
"The Navy undoubtedly did the right thing in reversing its
decision to discharge Petty Officer Stephen Jones," said Alexander
Nicholson, Executive Director of Servicemembers United. "We
strongly suspected that his command was trying to find a round Stephen Jones
about way to discharge Jones because it suspected him of being gay, and we simply were
not willing to stand by and watch a new version of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' emerge under
the new label of 'unprofessional conduct.'"
Petty Officer Jones was notified by the Navy in early March that he was going to be
discharged because he refused to accept a non-judicial punishment for "unprofessional
conduct" after dozing off beside another male sailor while watching television. Jones
retained civilian attorney Gary Myers - a former JAG officer who is one of the most
experienced civilian military defense attorneys in the country - to fight his discharge.
Servicemembers United worked closely with Jones and Myers to help publicize the case
and persuade Navy leaders to retain Petty Officer Jones.

BEST OF THE WEB


Website Encourages Straight Guys To Respect Gay Guys
The slogan “Straight But Not Narrow” has been around
for over a decade. These four words that have appeared on
countless posters, bumperstickers, t-shirts and buttons are a
way straight allies can succinctly announce to the world that
they support GLBT rights.
A 19 year old straight actor, Jogia Avan, recently started
a website (www.StraightButNotNarrow.org) that uses this
popular slogan – indeed a movement – focused on encouraging young straight men
to get over their prejudice against gay men and embrace equality for all persons.
Complete with videos and other resources, StraightButNotNarrow.org is providing a
forum for straight men to promote a message of equality aimed at their peers.
Have you come across a gay-affirming website that you would like us to tell our
readers about? Tell us all about it by writing to editor@theletteronline.com.

MAY 2011 www.theletteronline.com The COMMUNITY Letter 5


Divided Federal Court Denies Accurate Birth Certificate
In mid-April the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals reversed
two prior court rulings and denied an accurate birth
certificate to a Louisiana-born five year old boy who was
adopted at birth by a gay couple in New York.
"We expected that the State of Louisiana would respect
the court decrees of other states, just as states have done
for over 200 years—and as the trial court and the earlier
ruling of this court affirmed. But in today's ruling, this
court seems willing to turn away from the full faith and
credit clause of the Constitution just to deny an accurate
birth certificate to this child adopted by his two fathers,"
said Ken Upton, staff attorney for Lambda Legal. "We are
astonished that Oren and Mickey and their son have been
told by this court today that it is OK for the government to Ken Upton
discriminate against their family."
Lambda Legal represents Oren Adar and Mickey Smith in their case against
Louisiana State Registrar Darlene Smith. Adar and Smith are a gay couple who
adopted their Louisiana-born son in 2006 in New York, where a judge issued an
adoption decree. When the couple attempted to get a new birth certificate for their
child, in part so Smith could add his son to his health insurance, the registrar's office
told him that Louisiana does not recognize adoption by unmarried parents and so
Dave VanderPol Is Organizing Another could not issue it.
Lambda Legal filed suit on behalf of Adar and Smith in October 2007, saying that the
Single Gay Men’s Book Study registrar was violating the Full Faith and Credit Clause and Equal Protection Clause
of the U.S. Constitution by refusing to recognize the New York adoption judgment
Mondays @ 7:00pm | Northeast Louisville Location because the child's parents are unmarried. The Constitution requires that judgments
For More Details write: editor@theletteronline.com and orders issued by a court in one state be legally binding in other states. Further,
a state may not disadvantage some children over others simply because the child's
parents are unmarried. The Louisiana attorney general disagreed, and advised the
registrar that she did not have to honor an adoption from another state that would
not have been granted under Louisiana law had the couple lived and adopted there.
In 2009, U.S. District Judge Jay Zainey ruled against the registrar and issued a
summary judgment ordering her to issue a new birth certificate identifying both
Oren Adar and Mickey Smith as the boy's parents, saying her continued failure to do
so violated the U.S. Constitution.
In 2010, a three-judge panel of the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals agreed and
affirmed the judgment. The attorney general requested a rehearing by the full Court
of Appeals which was granted and resulted in the opinion released yesterday.

Law Firm Caves To Pressure From Marriage Equality


Supporters, Former Law Partner Will Handle DOMA Defense
The prestigious Atlanta-based law firm of King & Spalding was recently hired by
Republicans in the House of Representatives to defend the Defense of Marriage Act
(DOMA) in federal court. However late last month the firm withdrew from the case
under pressure from marriage equality supporters and in the face of sharp criticism
from the Human Rights Campaign and other pro-equality groups.
The firm’s action prompted the resignation of one of their senior attorneys, Paul
Clement, who vowed to go ahead with defending the anti-equality law. Clement was
Bryan Gatewood quoted by media sources as saying that he had “a duty to stand against the political
pressure” and see the anti-equality lawsuits through to completion.
Attorney In order to defend discrimination by any means necessary, House Republican
leaders agreed to pay the law firm King & Spalding at the rate of $520.00 per hour to
argue that they’re right to deny recognition to legally married couples. The document
caps the cost at $500,000.00, but can easily be increased upon further negotiations
with the firm. As of press time it was not known if Clementwill be compensated at
Attorneys and Counselors at Law the same rate that was offered to his former law firm.
“DOMA inflicts a great cost on same-sex couples but now its defense is burdening
PROUDLY SERVING OUR COMMUNITY FOR NEARLY A DECADE. taxpayers to the tune of $520 per hour,” said HRC President Joe Solmonese. “The
firm of King & Spalding and their attorney Paul Clement should be ashamed at every
502.584.3300 penny earned in trying to justify discrimination against American families.”
There are currently at least nine cases challenging the constitutionality of section 3
231 South Fifth Street, Suite 200 of DOMA which bars federal recognition of marriages between same-sex couples. If
the House were to intervene in all nine that would mean less than 100 billable hours
Family Law • Estate Planning • Professional Small Business would be spent per case in order to hit the $500,000.00 cap.
Charitable Planning • Debtor/Creditor “Clearly this fee cap is a lowball estimate that hides the true cost of that House’s
intervention,” said Solmonese. “But the fact that Speaker Boehner has hired such
www.johnsongatewood.com high priced attorneys clearly shows he’s willing to pull out all the stops to ensure
We are a debt relief agency. We help people file for bankruptcy under the bankruptcy law. second class citizenship for same-sex couples.”

6 The COMMUNITY Letter www.theletteronline.com MAY 2011


LETTER TO THE EDITOR & COMMUNITY
Dear Editor & Community: also ways we can plan and grow Director, has been a reason for the tradition, we have decided that keeping
The AIDS Service Center Coalition alternative third party fundraisers. current success. Brad was able to the current /route was our best choice.
(ASCC) recently selected Michael York as The ASCC welcomes and would keep expenses for the Walk at less The 2011 Louisville AIDS Walk will
Director of the 2011 Louisville AIDS Walk. like to foster such needed third than 10% of the total proceeds emphasize the celebration of life; therefore,
The Walk will again be held in September, party events which help assure by securing many in-kind our theme will be “Walk for Life.” We are
but work is already underway to ensure that more dollars can be raised donations and negotiating looking into providing more entertainment
that it is a huge success.This year’s Walk, to spend directly on client low-cost or no-cost contracts including putting together a flash mob
including the Pet Walk, will be held on services. with vendors, the media and along with other options in order to reflect
Sunday, September 25th. Despite the fact that there other providers. While Brad our theme.
ASCC is a non-profit corporation. Our are many more competing chose to take a break as Walk The ASCC invites anyone that would
primary purpose is organizing the Walk. fundraisers and an ongoing Director this year, he continues like to participate in our meetings to see
This year will mark its 19th anniversary. recession, the Walk has enjoyed to work behind the scenes. firsthand what we are about. Our Board
Our Board is made up of people that renewed support from The ASCC looked at using meets every third Wednesday of the month
provide many of the client services corporations and individual a different location to stage at 3:30 pm. You don’t have to join. You
available for those that are HIV positive donors in Kentuckiana. this year’s Walk. Last year, can come sit, watch, and ask questions. If
in Louisville and Southern Indiana. We In 2010, the Walk raised Louisville Metro waived their you want to join as an at-large member, we
also have at-large board members from the $187,000. The last two years bridge closure fee and their would be happy to have you. New voices
community. had two of the highest security fee. We did pay and new ideas are encouraged by our
When we started, the idea of a fund fundraising totals in the last $1,000.00 to Jeffersonville organization.
raising walk was fairly new. Today there seven years. We would look for a bridge closure and For more information please check out
are many such walks. Due to this change, forward to building upon security fee. However, after our website at www.louisvilleaidswalk.
ASCC has been studying ways to not only that success. looking at the possibilities org.
keep the Walk a viable fundraiser but Brad Hampton, our previous and balancing locations and ASCC Executive Committee

As indicated by this letter from the ASCC Executive Committee, they have decided to spend at least $1,000 to include the Clark Memorial Bridge as part of the
route of the 2011 Louisville AIDS Walk. Given the dramatic increase in the demand for services by member agencies and current economic conditions, do you
think this is an appropriate expense? Send your comments to editor@theletteronline.com and they will appear in our June 2011 issue and presented to the ASCC
Executive Committee.

&M^LMA> IS EARTH AN ALIEN PLANET?


"QI>KB>G<> ¤

Louisvillian Kera McLain,


the lesbian heroine of George
3&."9 *OD Morrison’s critically acclaimed
7PJDF 
 first novel, Out From It All (www.
'"9 
 outfromitall.com), is back – on
XXX.BSL&OHMBOEDPN Mars in the 82-page novella
Worlds. She battles harassment,
homophobia and uncaring
bureaucracy to win a spot on this
historic journey, then shocks her
colleagues by uncharacteristically
breaking the rules, risking her
life to save a seemingly doomed
mission.
Life on the Red Planet gives the misfit Kera an
unfamiliar yearning for Earth and she heads home for
her greatest adventures yet.

WORLDS is on sale in Louisville at


both Carmichael's Bookstores & Day's
Expresso & Coffee Bar, 1420 Bardstown Road.
& Expressions Of You Coffee House & Gallery,
18th Street and Muhammad Ali Boulevard Or, to
-JDFOTFEJO,FOUVDLZBOE*OEJBOB order, call iUniverse at (800) 288-4677.
0ĊFSJOHXPSMEXJEFSFMPDBUJPOBTTJTUBODF

MAY 2011 www.theletteronline.com The COMMUNITY Letter 7


INCLUSIVE
RegionalCalendar sponsored by Mark England

FAITH
COMMUNITIES
Items of interest to the GLBT community are listed for FREE from non-profit community
organizations, support and social groups. We also publicize events sponsored by businesses and
professionals currently advertising in THE COMMUNITY LETTER.
Please send details at least four weeks in advance of your event. Contact: Dave VanderPol:
editor@TheLetterOnline.com. Be sure type “Regional Calendar” in the subject line of your
Christ Church Cathedral (Episcopal) message!
Journeying Together In Christ
421 South 2nd Street (Downtown) 3rd Sundays Sundays: May 1 & June 5
(502) 587-1354 3:00pm. Metro Louisville chapter of Parents, Family & 3:00pm. Monthly meeting of Owensboro chapter
Sundays: 8:15am (Rite I); 10:00am (Choral Rite II) Friends of Lesbians and Gays. First Lutheran Church, of Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays. Journey
Concert & Choral Evensong: 2nd Sundays at 5:00pm 417 East Broadway. For more information call (502) 233- Fellowship, located at the corner of Alexander Avenue &
www.christchurch.episcopalky.org 1323 or visit www.pflaglouisville.org. 18th Street. For information: pflagowensboro@hotmail.
Confidentiality respected. com or call (270) 929-1399.
Central Presbyterian Church
Celebrating God’s Wildly Inclusive Love Mondays: May 2 & June 6
Every Monday 7:00pm. Christian Men’s Fellowship Dinner. Organized
4th & Kentucky Streets (Old Louisville) 7:00pm. Movie Mania at Gay & Lesbian Community
Church School: 9:30am by New Beginnings Church. Location: KT’s Restaurant,
Center of Cincinnati, 4119 Hamilton Avenue. Free. For 2300 Lexington Road, Louisville. More information:
Sunday Worship: 11:00am (Nursery Provided) movie titles click on the icon for the GLBT Calendar (812) 595-0571.
Pastors: D. Mark Baridon & Ann J. Deibert page at www.glbtcentercincinnati.com.
(502) 587-6935 • www.CentralChurchKY.org Wednesdays: May 4 & June 1
Every Monday 7:00pm. Crossport Crossdresser Support Group,
Clifton Universalist Unitarian Church Cincinnati. (513) 919-4850.
We Need Not Think Alike To Love Alike 7:00;pm. Dayton Gay Men's Chorus practice at
2231 Payne Street, Louisville (40206) Eternal Joy Metropolitan Community Church,
2382 Kennedy Avenue. For more information write Tuesdays: May 9 & June 13
(502) 895-3189 | www.cliftonuu.org 7:00pm. Cincinnati PFLAG meeting. Mount Auburn
DtnGayMensChorus@aol.com.
Rev. Todd Eklof, Minister Presbyterian Church, 103 William Howard Taft Road.
Sunday Services: 11:00ish to 12:00ish, For more information call (513) 721-7900.
Social Hour, Vegetarian Lunch follows services Every Tuesday
2:45pm. GLBT Mental Health Issues Support Group at Tuesdays: May 9 & June 13
Metropolitan Community Church The Recovery Center, 2340 Auburn Avenue, Cincinnati. 7:30pm Dayton PFLAG Monthly Meeting. 667
ALL People Are Welcome at the Table (513) 241-1411. Miamisburg-Centerville Road (Centerville). For more
1432 Highland Avenue (Louisville) information call: (937) 640-3333.
(502) 587-6225 • www.mcclouisvilleky.org 6:00 - 8:00pm
Rev. Dee Dale, Pastor Louisville Fairness Campaign Volunteer Meet-Up at Wednesdays: May 18 & June 15
Sunday Morning Worship: 10:30am 2263 Frankfort Avenue. For more information call Kyle 6:30pm. Indy Bi-Versity, confidential discussion group.
(502) 893-0788 or write fairness@fairness.org. For more information, including the meeting location,
Wednesday Evening Worship: 6:00pm
write: indybiversity@yahoo.com.
New Beginnings Church 6:30pm. Triangle Martial Arts Association: Tae Kwon Do
Saturdays: May 21 & June 18
Defined By FAITH, Not Orientation! training for GLBT community. Beginners & experienced 7:30pm. Monthly meeting of Sienna, transgender
1710 East 10th Street, Jeffersonville, IN welcome. For location write: m_fearnow@yahoo.com. support group in Louisville. For location leave a
Pastor Tracy Patton/ (812) 595-0571 message: (502) 291-9220. For more information about the
Sunday Worship: 10:30am 7:30pm. Women's Tuesday Night Coming Out Group at group visit www.siennatg.org.
www.newbeginnings4u.net Off The Avenue, 1546 Knowlton Street, Cincinnati. (513)
535-2517. Saturday, May 14
Open Door Community Fellowship 9:00pm – 4:00am. Alternative Prom, sponsored by
Reaching Out to ALL People 1st & 3rd Thursdays Kentuckiana Pride Festival at Prime Lounge, 106 West
3938 Southern Parkway, Louisville 7:00pm. Gay Men’s Support Group meets at Main Street, Louisville. Tickets: $10.00 in advance
(502) 893-6323 / Pastor Sherry Roby Metropolitan Community Church of Louisville, 1432 (online) or $15.00 at the door. For more information visit
www.opendoorcommunityfellowship.com www.kypride.com.
Highland Avenue.
Sunday: 10:30am & Wednesday: 7:00pm
May 27 - 30
Every 3rd Friday Memorial Day Weekend Celebration at Timberfell
St. Andrew United Church of Christ
7:30pm. “Family-Friendly” Coffeehouse at Day’s Lodge, Greenville, TN. Book early for your room or RV
Wherever you are on life’s journey,
Coffee Shop, Bardstown Road at Edenside Avenue in site. For details or to make reservations for this or other
you are welcome here
Louisville. Music and readings, organized by Marie upcoming special events visit www.timberfell.com.
2608 Browns Lane; Louisville, KY 40220
Davis, cartoonist for THE COMMUNITY LETTER. Reservations: (800) 437-0118.
(502) 452-1777 / www.saintandrewucc.org
Sunday Service: 10:30 am
2nd Sunday Taize: 7:00 pm
SAVE THE DATE!!!
INCLUSIVE FAITH COMMUNITIES Kentuckiana Pride Festival: June 17 & 18
listings are welcome from congregations on the Belvedere in downtown Louisville
throughout the six state region served by For more information see page 2.
THE COMMUNITY LETTER. These
pre-paid listings are quite affordable!
The cost is $75.00 for six months or
$135.00 for one year. Information Mark England www.LouisvilleGayInfo.com
write editor@theletteronline.com
or call (502) 419-2597. Selling Louisville's Most DIVERSE Neighborhoods

8 The COMMUNITY Letter www.theletteronline.com MAY 2011


OUT  SPOKEN

The Love of Hate by Ren Scheuerman


Recently, a good friend, asked me be confused. Both hate and love can be
laughingly, "Why you hatin'?, while we motivating factors that create division and
discussed a very sensitive issue. That separation in a way that is unproductive
comment stayed with me for days. Was I and unloving.
hating? Actually, yes I was. As we know, With that said, I have now realized
everyone loves to talk about love. Love, that hate often motivates me as much as
love, love. Everybody is loving. But what love. I hate the way gay people, African
about hate? Everybody is not hating? American people, women, and most every
Let's get a few things on the table first. minority are treated in this country. It is
Hate, any hate, can be a very dangerous the feeling of hate for how they are treated,
feeling. But this article does not focus on and the feeling of love for the people in
that aspect of hate. I am going to highlight these groups, that constantly drives me to
the positive side of hate. Yes, there is a help change their living conditions. I use
positive side to hate. that inspiration to help create change that
For many decades now, it seems we promotes less discrimination and more
have tried to focus on love and ignore hate. inclusiveness.
Love conquers all. Love is great. Without So, what is my message? I propose
love, there is nothing. Nice phrases we that hate can motivate you. It can drive
often hear. People even say, "I don't hate, I you to change the things that you
dislike very strongly, but no, I don't hate." know are unequal, unfair, and morally
Seriously? No one believes you. Hate is a objectionable. But, do not let it consume
feeling, equal to love, in many ways. And you. Let it motivate you. Hate what is
humans naturally possess the ability to happening. Love to change it. In the
express both, in equal parts. In fact, both end, you will find that hate and love
hate and love can encourage you to do mingle dangerously together. Just know
and say things that might not be in your, that both can create positive change, if
used correctly. So yeah, go on hating.
or the person or thing on the receiving
Sometimes the greatest productive change
end's, best interest. But what is it about
can be fueled by hate.
hate that remains an almost taboo subject
in our culture?
Did we fight and conquer the Nazis Ren Scheuerman and
because we loved and cared about the his partner, Travis Lay,
Jewish people? Yes, but we also hated enjoy living in the luxury
of Indian Hills (Northeast
Hitler, and rightly so. Did we fight a Civil above, were motivated by love, but also have for a condition that is unacceptable Louisville). where they
War because we loved African American by hate. Hate encouraged, fueled, and to them. And remember, the groups we enjoy building bridges
people? Or because we hated the idea of drove people to act in a way to change a identify as hate groups, often identify love of understanding with
slavery? Did we love gay people who situation that was not acceptable. as their motivating factor. Their love of a their neighbors (the vast
were affected by HIV in the early 1980s But, let’s be clear. The difference pure white society, or their love of a pure majority of which are
or hated the way they were being treated? between a lunatic and an activist is the Christian nation. They use love, in a way rumored to heterosexual).
Yes, most of the positive actions noted way in which they filter the hate that they that we clearly identify as hate. So do not

TRANS FATTY

Met Any REALLY Crazy “CrazyMakers” Lately? I Have! by Dave VamderPol, Executive Editor
I don’t know about you, but my “Co- called me five times in one afternoon My caller proceeded to tell me that he The ones who self-identify as GLBT are
Dependent Within” usually goes out of (three times in less than 30 minutes!) had already called all of the attorneys out and proud. The straight allies are
his way to avoid confronting others at all asking for a referral to a gay attorney. I whose names I’d offered him, but none also out and proud – in their support of
costs. Can’t we all just love one another provided him with names of attorneys of them would return his call. The he equality. When you contact them, please
and get along with each other? Pretty who were “gay-friendly” (as opposed to repeatedly asked me for more names of do not assume anything other than they
please! being “gay”) since I don’t discriminate attorneys who could help him. Each time are committed to supporting equality and
To heal my “Inner Co-Dependent” of his against straights and I value straight allies I responded, “I’ve given you all the names are glad to do so publicly through placing
tendency to avoid angry people, I’ve spent – thankfully many straight attorneys do that I have to offer”. an ad in this publication.
many years in therapy and am a member support our rights. As always, I provided This circular discussion went on for DISCLAIMER: The gentleman who
of Al-Anon, the 12 Step fellowship for him with the names of individuals about five minutes (it seemed more like called asking for a referral to an attorney
family and friends of alcoholics. How do who support this newspaper with their five hours!). Eventually the gentleman also admitted that he had never read
you know when an Al-Anon member is advertising dollars. from rural Kentucky agreed to call back THE COMMUNITY LETTER. One of
in relapse from their issues? They have The gentleman caller told me that the attorneys he had already called – and our readers had referred him to me.
a moment of compassion! Yes, Al-Anon he needed an attorney because his late that he would do so after he got sober! Our readers are (mostly) sane and well
(and therapy) are great places to learn mother’s attorney was “stealing” money Wow. What a great idea! He further behaved, don’t ya’ know!
how to appropriate confront alcoholics, from him and was part of the “corrupt admitted that he was drunk at the time
abusive individuals and the other types legal system” in Metro Louisville. He also he was talking to me. Who would have
of “crazymakers” most of us encounter told me that he had a frontal lobotomy thought? Agree or disagree, Dave VanderPol
all-too-frequently. when he was four years old and that the I share this story about the drunken would love to know your thoughts!
One of the crazymakers I’ve dealt with government had placed a piece of metal caller to point out that you need not Write to him at editor@theletteronline.
recently, related to my newspaper work, inside his head so they could keep track assume that all of our advertisers are G, L, com or call (502) 419-2597.
is a gentleman from rural Kentucky who of his thoughts. Seriously. B or T. Indeed many of them are straight.

MAY 2011 www.theletteronline.com The COMMUNITY Letter 9


GAY LOVE DOCTOR

When Sexual Needs Clash In A Relationship by Dr. Brian Rzepczynski, D.H.S., M.S.W.
Q: I have been in a relationship with my partner for
12 years and over this period of time, we have both been
unfaithful. My partner is very well-endowed and an
exhibitionist and enjoys showing off his penis to others.
Last week we were driving home from visiting friends
when he suggested we stop off at a local cruising area. I
agreed, but deep down I felt really sick about it. He ended
up getting a couple guys to give him oral sex and I was
very hurt and upset by this. Sex with him has become
boring and it’s very much one-sided and he has no sense
of adventure with me. I’m becoming more and more
frustrated and am beginning to feel like the relationship
may not last much longer. What do you suggest? Help!

A: This situation sounds very hurtful to you and I can


appreciate your pain; intervention is necessary as soon as
possible to avoid any further damage. Scenarios like this
come down to an understanding of your sexual values
and boundaries; that is, what sexual behaviors and
activities you are comfortable vs. uncomfortable with as
well as those that you are willing vs. unwilling to tolerate.
Based on your describing a physical feeling of “sickness”

(See GAY LOVE DOCTOR,


continued on pg 13)

GAY & FEMINIST

Don’t Call It A "Comeback" by Eric Jost


Britney Spears made history last month when her without a gimmick. Critics and fans began to expect
latest album, “Femme Fatale,” dropped and shot to #1 this constant musical and image shift, and 25 years into
on charts around the world. She has now become one of her career and Madonna's image is rarely stagnant and
a handful of artists to achieve six number one albums. never neutral.
In anticipation of Britney's latest release, the music The constant pressure to reinvent oneself is, itself,
critics and gossipmongers spoke optimistically of inherently sexist; as it assumes that female pop singers
Britney's "comeback," anticipating another electro-pop have such little musical value that they have to perform
masterpiece from the sometimes vapid singer. Many behind smoke and mirrors in order to get noticed. It
also pitted the icon against pop's latest queen, Lady has also produced media-created rivalries. Why does
Gaga, who release her new single, "Born This Way," in it have to be a competition between Gaga and Britney?
February with the album of the same title coming out Journalists also treat Black performers in a similar
in May. manner, cultivating feuds among male and female hip
Although many of the writers speak of Britney hop artists that frequently have no basis in reality.
and Gaga in flattering terms, most of the articles and I'm sure critics would point toward album sales as
reviews have an underpinning of sexism that I suspect indication of success of these perpetual comebacks
many journalists are unaware they're promoting, yet and reinventions, but few artists (including Madonna)
has become standard when speaking about female would label such efforts as never-ending comebacks.
singers. That's why we follow singers and bands, really.
By my count, this is Britney's third "official" Something about their musical evolution rings true for
comeback. 2007's Blackout was her comeback from us and so we silently agree to go on this journey with
the failed marriage to Kevin Federline, only to be them.
overshadowed by her apparent psychotic breakdown She may not be Paul McCartney, but Britney's been
and court-ordered conservatorship. Then 2008's Circus ten hit since 2001's "Hero" -- but you'd never know it steadily releasing pop music for thirteen years now so I
was a return to sanity for Britney, who embarked on a from reading album reviews, many of which merely think we can safely say she's established and no longer
successful world tour. And now, her 2011 album is a compared the two singles as though they existed in the "coming back" from anything.
comeback from -- vacation? same time and place.
Yet, the terminology surrounding male performers Although women continue to dominate the pop
is less grandiose. Coldplay releases albums far less music industry, the level of respect and acceptance
frequently than the aforementioned pop princesses, remains at an all time low. Sadly, Madonna is probably Eric Jost is a freelance writer living in California.
His work ranges from first-person narratives to
but critics don't hail each album release as a musical to blame for this ongoing devaluing of musically-
commentaries on pop culture and politics. You can
resurrection. Usher is simply praised for his ongoing inclined women. With every album, she reinvented check out more of his work at www.eric-jost.com.
contribution to pop music. And Enrique Iglesias, who her image -- unintentionally shooting herself in the
scored big in 2010 with "I Like It," hadn't seen a top foot and hindering her ability to simply produce music

10 The COMMUNITY Letter www.theletteronline.com MAY 2011


LIFE BEYOND THERAPY

Our Happy Homes by Michael Kimmel, M.A., M.S.W., L.C.S.W.


They say that we LGBTers just LOVE our homes. Is available, how do we know when to buy and when to
this true? Well, whether we love our home or hate it, I chill?
would like to share some ideas with you about how to Homes can be places of great amusement, comfort
create a home that brings you happiness. For most of us, and inspiration. Or they can be "STATUS TRAPS" with
we spend more time and money on our home than we do all the pressures of "never quite good enough". Many
on anything else; but do we end up with homes we really a client has lamented to me that they and their partner
love? Here are some ideas for your consideration: spent thousands of dollars on a home renovation project
On some level, our homes reflect who we are and who because of a seemingly harmless conversation that went
we want to be: Ask yourself: what kind of environment something like this: “You know, ------- and ------‘s house
do you want to live in? What sorts of “things” do you like looks so good. They just redid their kitchen/bathroom/
around you? Do you want something chic and sleek or doghouse and it looks fabulous...we should do something
comfortable and low maintenance? Your home is a place like that too. Our place is a dump compared to theirs."
where you get to “play” with stuff like paint, furniture A nice home reminds me of that line from the L’Oreal
and accessories. Give yourself permission to get creative commercial: “Because I’m worth it!” Of course you
with it. If you like to mix mid-century modern with deserve a nice home filled with beautiful objects…but
Italian baroque, why not? Why not decorate and design racking up a debt that will cause you months (or years) of
your home to express, amuse and please yourself? worry isn’t what you deserve, is it? Many relationships
Is your house never good enough? Are you constantly are pushed to the edge over home remodeling projects;
spending money on it? Decorating or remodeling your it’s a huge relationship stressor. Money plays a big part
home when you’re unhappy is like standing in front of the in this.
refrigerator, opening the door and saying, “Okay food, Many people think that you need to have a lot of
make me feel better.” Neither food nor home decorating money to be creative in your home. Sure, money helps
can make us happy. Plus, if you watch all those home if you want a new kitchen, but if you’re simply bored
decorating/remodeling shows, you’ve probably noticed or want to change things around, moving the furniture,
that the media’s image of the “ideal” home changes.
(See LIFE BEYOND THERAPY,
Continually. Since there is always cool new home décor continued on pg 13)

LOUIS PHILPOTT
4033 Taylorsville Road
Louisville, KY 40220

Mobile: (502) 836-1255 Century 21 Joe Guy Hagan


FAX: (502) 400-2796
louissellslouisville@gmail.com
Each Office Is Independently Owned & Operated

CHUBS & CHASERS GROUP


CLASSIFIED ADS Now forming a social group for
big men and their admirers. 1st & 3rd
Tuesday evenings at 7:30pm. Crescent
Classified Advertising in THE Hill location. For more information
COMMUNITY LETTER is affordable write flamboyantbohemian@gmail.
and presented with a type font that is com.
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advertising@theletteronline.com or call (502) 419-2597

MAY 2011 www.theletteronline.com The COMMUNITY Letter 11


OUTLOOK WITHIN

Captain Jell-O Rides Again by Bryn Marlow


I don't think I was born to my parents at all. I think they Captain Jell-O rides again!
opened a box of lime-flavored Jell-O, ripped the top off I wish I could say coming out changed all this. My
the brown packet inside, poured the powdery contents mother would probably say so. She experienced my
into a bowl, stirred in boiling water and ice cubes, and- coming out as a slap in her face. To me, in coming out
-voila!--there I was. Ready to be poured into a waiting I signaled I would no longer kowtow to what and who
mold. All my life I've let others define my boundaries; others wanted me to be. At least in this one area I would
decide what shape I am to fill. claim my right to exist. I would claim my own life. I would
On the other hand, I'm convinced my friend Bill began live into it. My announcement met with something less
life as a hawthorn tree. His parents planted him in the than widespread acclaim.
good earth, watched their sapling son grow tall, strong "Bastard," said family. "Not here you won't."
and iron-willed. Like the sharp-spiked hawthorn, Bill can "Fired," said employer. "Not here you won't."
be worse than prickly if you get too close. Grab him the "Reprobate," said church. "Not here you won't."
wrong way and you'll be sorry. "Betrayer," said wife. "Not here you won't."
Bill seems to have an inborn ability to summon Suddenly I was running naked through a forest of
boundaries. Something comes up automatically in him, hawthorn trees. Bloody business, that. Some of the
some self-protective mechanism which I totally lack. puncture wounds are still tender, 16 years later.
He swells up like the puff adder who when threatened I have not altogether broken with the past; coming out
pretends to be a cobra. Mess with him or those he loves did not reshape me into an entirely new person. I'm still
and you're in for a world of trouble. beset with Jell-O-like tendencies. What's changed for me
Mess with me and I probably won't even notice. Or if I is that I now ride though life with greater awareness of
do, I'll tell myself I deserve whatever ill treatment comes when and how I'm shaping myself into another's mold.
my way. I am the puffball. Threaten me and I just sit religious teaching, to the extent I paid attention in school Sometimes I make conscious choices to shape myself
there. Step on me and I emit a little gasp and spew green and followed the rules. this way or that; sometimes I refuse to bend and flex.
spores into the air. I grew adept at molding myself into the exact shape Sometimes only afterwards do I say, "Gosh, how very
Growing up, I didn't know I was gay. Didn't know the of others' expectations. My parents wanted an obedient Captain Jell-O of me!" I then resolve to be on the alert,
meaning of the word. Didn't know there was a word to cheerful child. Voila. The church wanted a good boy, one watch for it the next time. I forgive myself and move on.
describe who I was inside. Knew I was different; couldn't who told his friends about Jesus, who memorized Bible I'll never be a hawthorn tree. It's not my nature. And
tell you how. Knew that difference was wrong. Knew I verses and volunteered time and energy. Voila. Teacher why be something I'm not? I'm proud of myself those
was somehow flawed, disordered down deep inside, wanted answers, homework done, legible handwriting, times I ask this same question when I feel the urge to take
sinful, wrong. All this without ever learning there was a no lip. Voila. up my Captain Jell-O cape and ooze to the rescue.
term to describe me, without learning there were others Later I met the demands of professor, employer,
like me, that who I was had validity in and of itself. girlfriend, fiancée, wife with similar aplomb. I look back
now and shudder to remember my boss praise me with, Bryn Marlow (gayfeather.blogspot.com) lives with his
Instead, I picked up on the message that who I was "You have a real knack for knowing what I want." Voila. husband Dave on a 1930s Indiana farmstead where
inside was worthless. That if I were to find acceptance That's how I survived in a world where I felt nobody
they raise chickens and flowers.
and place in the world, it would be granted me to the would want me if they really knew who I am. Given a
extent I made my mother happy, to the extent I followed whiff of your expectations, I'd mold myself to them.

BI THE WAY

Bullying: A Real Life Incident by George Morrison


The anti-bullying bill which stalled in April in the heterosexist dimensions of that revolution were yet to hatred. Would the pain I inflicted be too deep and old to
Kentucky General Assembly – after arguments that reach us. heal?
it could infringe on homophobes’ free speech rights There was another reason, however, why my “Oh, everybody was bad to everybody,” a puzzled
– is geared to help the victims of verbal, physical and resentment of this young man – I’ll call him Mike – was 47-year-old Mike said. Continuing in a confident, dulcet
emotional abuse. so virulent. I did protest too much. tone, he preferred talking about his family, beautiful
An example from my high school years in the 1970s, I had grown up fatherless and physically slight, then house, literature collection, love of chess and lucrative
however, shows that House Bill 370, which would prohibit soared about a foot in height at age 13 and developed a sales manager job than some fuzzy ancient recollections
bullying because of a student's sexual orientation, race or deep voice so suddenly that some of my mom’s friends of irrelevant teens-will-be-teens misdeeds.
religion, could protect the perpetrators, too. wondered if she had remarried when I answered the Research into the effects of bullying indicated that this
And I base that finding on a study conducted over phone. My same-sex attraction, I decided, was part of the call was supposed to begin rehabilitation from wounds.
33 years. That’s how long after a bullying incident – a pre-macho me and when it refused to cease, I took it out As I heard Mike describe his abundant life -- while I sat
homophobic slur in the ninth grade – it took the bully to on Mike – and on the world’s LGBT population. in the drafty kitchen of my two-room efficiency, where I
attempt to apologize. It wasn’t just a single word in 1972 About a year after I left my educationally and slept on a mattress 12 feet from a mousetrap – I realized
that prompted this phone call on a winter night in 2005 architecturally mediocre high school, I began the process that it was indeed time to start the rehab.
resulting from an arduous pre-Facebook era search. of graduating from homophobia, calling a radio talk The first step toward my healing was to let go of a past
It was four years of mean-spirited exclusion in high show in 1977 to say that Anita Bryant was all wrong during which I scarred myself by being a bully. Tell that
school because of the perception that a classmate was (I’ll never forget how happy my mom listening in to your state legislators when they suggest the rights of
gay. another room was after that call), joining the National bullies may be infringed by House Bill 370.
You may be picturing my role in this story from that Organization for Women and People for the American
cold night beginning when I picked up the phone to hear Way, becoming a crusading journalist for human rights,
from my tormenter, but here’s a shock: I was the caller. gloriously embracing my own bisexual orientation and George Morrison, of Louisville, stepped down in
Yes, despite my having worn a McGovern badge and writing lesbian feminist science fiction novels. March as editor of the Fellowship of Reconciliation’s
leading a debate team against the war, I had harbored This would seem more than adequate atonement for a
newspaper FORsooth and is the author of the novels
and unleashed anti-gay bigotry. It was the 1970s, and slur, or even four years of callous exclusion so long ago
Out From It All and Worlds.
while the sexual revolution had full access to our minds, that the dust from Stonewall hadn’t completely settled.
the feminist and fairness ideals needed to counter the Still, I needed to reach out to the specific target of my
12 The COMMUNITY Letter www.theletteronline.com MAY 2011
GAY LOVE DOCTOR, cont’d from pg 10 message that you’re OK with the fact that LIFE BEYOND THERAPY, cont’d from pg 11 for your home, your clothes or yourself:
your needs don’t matter. Stop! Please don’t you can be super butch and decorate with
toward your partner’s preferences, it do this to yourself. Your needs matter and the pictures, the lamps or your “objets leather and denim or you can fill your
would appear that your value system count and you deserve to have a sexual d’arte” around is free and can be a lot of home with challis (look it up) and fluffy
likely opposes such activities and your relationship with a partner in which you fun. Don’t depend on bags of money to pillows. The most important thing about
inclinations probably lean more toward feel safe and respected and who wants make your home the way you want it. designing and decorating your home is
monogamy and a sexually adventurous to work together as a team to cultivate a We all know people with tons of money to be in touch with your motivation for
lifestyle predominantly as a couple. The pleasing erotic life in which you are both whose homes are no fun to hang out in changing things. For example, if you’re
distress you’re feeling is originating from satisfied. (no names, please). clear that you want to change your home to
the fact that you’re giving your partner If neither one of you are willing to Is your house depressed? An always- achieve a certain result, then go for it. But,
permission to do something that goes compromise, this may potentially be a messy house may reflect depression. “I your home is fine and you’re comparing
against your grain and value system. The situation of incompatible sexual values just don’t care” can be about casual living your home with other people’s places and
associated pain is a natural consequence and you will have to determine if the or about giving up because it all seems finding yours lacking, then maybe your
of allowing this behavior to continue and relationship is viable under this type of too much. If you can’t find things and lesson is to trust yourself, your taste and
it would be important for you to examine pressure. Value differences tend to be don’t have clean clothes or a pleasant your preferences. The only RIGHT way to
the reasons behind your accommodating leading cause of breakups because values place to eat, sleep or hang out, then your decorate is to do what makes you happy…
your partner’s behavior when it seems to are so core to who we are and what we home isn’t working for you, it’s working regardless of what the magazines say. Try
hurt you so badly. stand for; when we compromise them, it against you. This isn’t about having a this on as your new mantra (cross-legged
You and your partner would benefit tends to have the effect of “eating away” at “fashionable” home, it’s about having a posture optional): COMPARISON WITH
from having a conversation about your us and will be a constant shadow menacing home you enjoy. If you hate to decorate OTHERS IS BAD. BEING INSPIRED BY
sexual needs and values to determine you. Determining the role that you want or think you’re missing that gene, consider OTHERS TO DO MY OWN THING IS
if there is a goodness-of-fit with your sex to play in your life and considering hiring someone to help you…or, if money GOOD.
sexualities. After listing those sexual the other aspects of the relationship and is tight, ask a friend whose taste you
behaviors and activities that you both their alignment with your ideal life and admire. On the other hand, if you don’t LIcensed Psychotherapist
desire, the two of you can then go about partnership will be important to reflect care about your home and it’s chaotic and Micheal Kimmel is a native of
deciphering between those sex acts and upon with your decision-making. Ohio and former resident of
disorganized, you may be depressed. Talk Louisville. He offers individual
beliefs that match and those that are in All the best with this, my friend. You with a good friend, mentor or counselor. A and couple therapy from his
conflict. Can compromises be made? deserve a relationship of trust, respect, casual home is a lifestyle choice; a chaotic practice in San Diego. For
Can a new sexual contract be made that and sexual vitality, but both partners must and dirty home, however, is a problem. more information about his
respects each person’s values and ideals? co-create together a vision of what would Get some help with it. counseling practice visit www.
If you’ve already had this discussion be most meaningful to them. I hope you Luckily, there is no single LGBT “style” lifebeyondtherapy.com.
and your partner continues to partake and your partner can come to some new
with a sexual smorgasbord that opposes understandings and agreements that will
your preferences, his behavior could be be fulfilling to both of you in the long-
deemed abusive. If you haven’t told him
how you feel, it will be critical for you
to do so as soon as possible because he
run, but please be sure not to settle and
sacrifice who you are by allowing fear to
hold you back from living your life the
Releasing Fear &
Embracing Love
can’t modify his behavior or work with way you ultimately want it to be. You
you on meeting each other’s needs in an deserve that happiness, but only you can
agreeable fashion if he doesn’t know that conceive it and make it happen.
it bothers you, and it will require you
©2008 Brian L. Rzepczynski,
to assert yourself and speak your truth All rights reserved. To sign
directly and unapologetically. If you have In the midst of a homophobic culture it is all too easy
up for the FREE Gay Love
spoken and have come to a mutually- Coach Newsletter filled with
to live in FEAR. Yet LOVE is much more empowering
agreeable decision and he continues to dating and relationship tips and a clearly healthier choice than fear. One of our
engage in this behavior and you say and skills for gay singles and readers who made many of his decisions during
nothing, it becomes your responsibility couples, as well as to check the early part of his life based on fear challenges
to stop the destructive pattern. By going out current coaching
our readers to let go of their fears and embrace the
to the cruising areas with him, you are groups, programs, and
teleclasses, visit www.TheGayLoveCoach.com. positive power found in giving and receiving love.


enabling his behavior and giving him the

Let go of living as a victim and accept responsibility for


your choices.
Grateful Youth Group Alums Organize, cont’d from pg 1 Instead of being re-active, take the initiative to be pro-
active.


Now, I am reaching back to honor this time-tested, commendable organization for the
work that they have done--and to assist in the work that lies ahead. As a Louisville Youth Take time to examine yourself, no longer denying your
Group Alumni, I recognize that we in this Community have the responsibility to guide “shadow self” and instead embrace the beauty found in


our Youth from the challenges and defeats of our past into the constant progress--and your weakness.
leadership--of a better, more equitable future for all. Stop being a user of other people and instead become
Stop for a moment to recall who and what helped you to reach the successful


of service to others.
relationships, careers and beliefs that you hold dear today. What have you done for them
lately? – Matt Spencer Get out of your comfort zone and become open to
learning and incorporating new ideas.


If you are an LYG Alumni 21 years of age and older, the alumni groups would
like to hear from you. Membership is free. Check out our upcoming Alumni
Instead of viewing pain as bad, see it as a source
events and other information by visiting "Louisville Youth Group" on Facebook of information that can bring about positive


or write to lygmail@Louisvilleyouthgroup.com. transformation.
Stop manipulating others and begin to directly ask for
what you want and need.
This message was paid for by a member of the GLBT community.

MAY 2011 www.theletteronline.com The COMMUNITY Letter 13


DINING OUT

Embrace Your “Inner German” by Beth Ann Rubin


[Schmidt’s Restaurant und excited her taste buds as she devoured the
Sausage Haus; German Village; meal.
240 East Kossuth Street, Columbus, OH Another companion is not much a
43206. (614) 444-6808.] sausage fan so she ordered the Chicken
Griller ($8.50) which was basically a
We traveled out of state this week and Grilled Chicken Sandwich. It was served
one of our destinations was Columbus, on a pretzel roll but she found the meat
Ohio, home to the Buckeyes, the capital, bland and was not too impressed.
the world famous Columbus Zoo and, My partner was thrilled with the choices
most importantly to us gastronomes, of traditional German food and started
Schmidt’s Restaurant und Sausage Haus. with a cup of thick, rich bean soup ($3.35).
Located in German Village, Schmidt’s It was a hard choice between the German
has been in operation since 1886 making Meatloaf ($11.00) and the Weiner Schnitzel
sausage and other German delicacies. Our ($14.75) but the Weiner won out at the
trip to Columbus could not be complete end. Meals come with a choice of 2 sides
without sampling some of their famous and a dinner roll. He selected the Potato
sausage and embracing the essence of Pancakes with Applesauce and the Braised
German Village. Red Cabbage. He enjoyed his veal which
Due to its popularity, we had to wait 20 was served with a savory mushroom
minutes for a table on a Wednesday night. sauce but seemed more enamored of the
The restaurant has a variety of dining potato pancakes. These were deep fried
rooms and each of their exposed brick and the size of silver dollars and he ate
walls are adorned with paintings, beer his with a sprinkle of sugar on the disks.
steins and other memorabilia. The wait I ordered the Old World Sausage Sampler
staff is dressed in traditional biergarten ($11.25). I wanted to try all of their famous
garb which leaves much to be desired selection was tempting, German food is not by the Bahama Mama sausage and links but on a smaller scale than the buffet.
from a fashion point of view. We were known for its lightness and a full tummy ordered the platter ($10.75). The sausage I had knockwurst, bratwurst, Bahama
seated in the smallest of the rooms which is not easy to digest so late at night. is made up of beef and pork and hickory Mama and a milder version of the Bahama
also houses the famous German Autobahn The obvious favorite is the sausage but smoked and spiced with Schmidt’s secret Mama. All were served on a bed of warm
Buffet. While I enjoyed a glass of German Schmidt’s does offer something for those ingredients. This dish was named by sauerkraut along with the requisite potato
white, my companion decided upon a yearning for s schnitzel or cabbage rolls. Columbus Monthly as one of the “10 best salad and applesauce. Each wurst had its
beer flight consisting of 6 different brews. There is also some American fare such entrees” in the city. The platters are served own distinct flavor and had been cooked
We perused the buffet which offered such as Chicken and Hamburgers. Prices are with German Potato Salad, homemade to a lovely crispiness so that the sausage
fare as salad and bean soup, sauerkraut, reasonable, starting at $7.50 for a Bratwurst applesauce and a bun. My friend found
German potato salad, 4 different sausages sandwich up to $14.75 for Weiner Schnitzel the dish quite tasty and the crisp sausage (See DINING OUT,
and macaroni and cheese. Although the und Gravy. My one friend was intrigued had a latent spice to it which eventually continued on pg 15)

KISSES by Marie Davis is sponsored by Highland Chiropractic | Dr. Charles Copeland, DC


To request your first appointment with Dr. Copeland, visit www.HighlandChirorpactic.com

Marie Davis is an internationally syndicated cartoonist. Her lesbian cartoon strip is published in five languages. Her first novel, Hey Diddle Diddle — for Lesbians
and Other Grownups, can be purchased through Amazon.com. Her e-mail address is mmmarie1961@aol.com.

14 The COMMUNITY Letter www.theletteronline.com MAY 2011


May 6 - 8
GREEK RUSH WEEKEND
Saturday Night Fraternity &
Toga Party at The Tavern

May 13 - 15
DADDYS &
ADMIRERS WEEKEND
A special weekend for sexy
men of a certain age
and their admirers!

May 27 - 30
Memorial Day Weekend
Book early for your favorite
room or RV site!

June 9 - 12
3rd Annual Camp Bear
Come enjoy this
fur-friendly event...
Includes Mr. TimBear Contest!

dining out, cont’d from pg 14 you even get started.

juices almost escaped when you cut into [Pompilio’s, 600 Washington Avenue,
the casing. Newport, KY 41071. (859) 581-3065.]
The first item on the menu at Schmidt’s We also spent some time in Cincinnati
is dessert, specifically, their famous Jumbo on the way home and enjoyed dinner at
Cream Puff. My chicken eating friend one of my old haunts, Pompilio’s, located
felt entitled to eating a Cream Puff since in Newport. When I lived in Cincinnati,
she did not really enjoy her sandwich. Pompilio’s was the go-to spot for flavorful
Since we all knew we would get a bite, Italian food at reasonable prices. Now the
we encouraged her to order one. The food and wine is still good and the décor
puff weighs in at a hefty half pound and has improved from the stark white walls
includes the pastry shell filled with vanilla and unflattering lighting of the past to a
pudding and doused with hot fudge sauce. softer look with muted lights and a Tuscan
Although its size seemed intimidating, inspired design. The menu encompasses
we were able to polish off the dessert with all of your Italian favorites including
little trouble. If the puff is too much for classic and specialty pastas, beef and
the feint of dessert, you can also choose chicken items, veal and fish dishes and
from such favorites as German Chocolate a multitude of combinations you can put
Cake and Apple Strudel. And the dessert together yourself. Prices range between
case is at the front of the restaurant as you $9.25 to $16.95 with most entrees costing
enter so you can anticipate the end before around $11.00.

MAY 2011 www.theletteronline.com The COMMUNITY Letter 15