Kino

Today I want to talk about a concept that is crucial to being successful: kino (short for
kinesthetic) escalation and compliance. This is a somewhat complex topic, making this issue
pretty dense. It's ok if you don't fully get it the first time through. Read it, practice it, save it, read
it again, and then come back to it in a few weeks. This is a topic we spend a lot of time on at the
bootcamp and needs a lot of demonstration. This is just a taste, but will hopefully get you started.

Why is kino important? Well, take this situation -- you've been talking to a girl for some time
and you two are getting along great. You're both laughing and smiling and she's eating it all up.
However, to take this from a nice playful interaction to the beginning of a sexual relationship,
you need to make something else happen. You need to touch her. If you don't do that, all of this
fun talking counts for nothing. She ends up leaving with a guy she seemed to be all over within
minutes of meeting him. "He's just better looking," you may rationalize to yourself. Nope. He
knew how to use kino and you didn't. He engaged her sense of touch while talking to her. You
just talked to her. You = nice guy. Other guy = the prize.

Why does this happen? Initiating kino (touching) is so important because you have to get a girl
comfortable with accepting you in her physical space. When you first meet a girl, it is imperative
to touch her as soon as possible in the RIGHT way. This does not mean aggressively groping and

pawing at her. You need to start touching her in a nonsexual way. For example, if you go up to a
girl and start chatting, you mention that where you are from has a secret hand shake. You then
demonstrate it on her. Congratulations -- you have started to get her accustomed to your touch
while also teaching her something and having a fun time.

You also have to escalate the touching. For example, you cannot kiss a girl who is uncomfortable
with your holding her hand. You cannot hold hands with a girl who is uncomfortable with you
shaking her hand. There is a progression. The level of kino that you start with, for example, by
thumb-wrestling her or by touching her on the shoulder while you make a point will not be
sufficient to help you move in for the kiss. Similarly, you can't usually move from kissing to
sexual intercourse.

So you're probably asking how you can make a girl comfortable with your touch, and how you
can escalate the touching. Here are three secrets:

1. Do not touch her, make her touch you.

2. When she does touch you, push her off before she has a
chance to get uncomfortable.
3. When she re-initiates kino after and because of #2, you
escalate. Then, repeat #2.

To illustrate this, let's look at the difference between what a "generic guy" would do and what a
"Mystery Method" man would do for the specific example of hand-on-leg:

GENERIC GUY: Puts his hand on a girl's knee. If she lets it stay there, move it up, inch by inch,
over the course of a conversation to see if she allows it. If she does allow it to rise a bit, then try
to put her on his lap and/or try to kiss her.

Likely result: eventually she'll become uncomfortable and resist his advances. This not only kills
the kino progession but also sets up the dynamic of Him: wanting intimacy. Her: withholding
intimacy that won't lead anywhere for him.

MYSTERY METHOD MAN: Takes the girl's hand and put it on his knee. Subtly notices her
comfort level with this. When she becomes uncomfortable, or at a convenient point (when she
did something "wrong" even in a playful sense), takes her hand and puts it back. The man is the
one to break the kino. When she either re-initiates kino or after a decent interval has passed, say
5 minutes, he escalates the kino (puts her on his lap or puts her arm around him, etc.).

Likely result: When he pushes her off, she will feel the loss more strongly than she felt the
discomfort of his making the move and she will either reinitiate or she will feel so uncomfortable
that she lets him make the next move without any hesitancy.

To summarize, almost every move we make is going to be making the girl touch us. We will not
put our arm into the girl's arm; instead, we will put her hand on the inside of our arm.
Then we gauge her reaction as soon as she starts to feel the discomfort of our making this move.
We then push her off of us. This has often been misunderstood as "two steps forward, one
step back". However, there's more to it than this. With two steps forward and then one step back,
you are still validating her by touching her while moving back. For example, when you
are making out with a girl you could go one step back by holding and cuddling her. This is good
because it shows that you are not needy and not always trying to aggressively push the
interaction sexually. Yet, its drawback is that it does not make her feel the loss of pushing her off
you because you are still physically touching her. She will still feel validated and happy just
cuddling you. She may re-escalate intimacy back to kissing, but if she doesn't, there's nothing
you can do about it.

The correct concept is actually "one step forward two steps back”. In the above example instead
of stopping the make out and still cuddling with her, we will push her off of us completely.
Believe me, she will feel the loss. This way, when we reinitiate, she will be markedly more
willing to accept our move as she has felt the loss from our releasing before. Now if we repeat
this sequence a few times we will make her much more comfortable with our making moves on
her. It will also make her feel that she is seducing you. Remember -- don't do this in an angry or
sulky way. Be playful. Keep talking. Enjoy yourself.

With me so far? Good, because now it's about to get more complicated.

The second element of kino escalation is the compliance factor. If you put her hands on your
knees and they stay there she is complying with your request. We want to build a compliance
chain from talking to her and telling her to give us her hand all the way to having her complying
with requests in the bedroom, including beginning a physical relationship. If you want a girl to
do a spin for you, you would not just take her hand and tell her she's going to do a spin. Instead
you will tell her to give you her hand and then you will do some sort of interesting routine
involving her hand like the hand shake routine I described above or the thumb crack routine we
teach in seminar. You can tell her that this is what she gets to do when she's good. Then spin her.
Do you guys see all the little things she has complied to leading up to her being spun? Compare
that to just telling her to spin for you. If you do that and she says "no" you have nowhere to go. If
she refuses any of the small hoops earlier, you still have a way to back up and reinitiate because
she has not shut you down entirely.

The way that you must work your way up the kino escalation ladder, is the same way that you
build a compliance chain. You start out with small requests such as getting her to let you see her
hands, then you build up into bigger requests such as telling her to bite your neck.

Every step that we take up the compliance chain is one step closer to the bedroom. The fact that
she is willing to meet our demands means that on some level she is looking for our approval.
Don't go overboard with this tool! Compliance escalation is very subtle. Never address it
directly. Don't make it blatant. Don't make it a big deal. There's a big difference between subtle,
playful, fun compliance escalation leading to the beginning of a physical relationship and being
pushy and domineering.

Anyway -- when she meets our requests we will approve and show approval. But it will never be
a full approval as we have to withhold full validation so that she continues to comply. When
she declines to comply with a request, we will go into a freeze out. A freeze out can take many
forms, but in it's simplest form it is withdrawing attention without pouting. If I am talking to a
girl and we are past the attraction phase and she does something I do not like, I will not neg or
tease her. Instead, I will simply turn my body language slightly away from her and I will
get quiet. This will force her to reinitiate as she feels the loss of your attention from the
conversation. This creates a gap and she will feel compelled to fill this gap. This is when
she will reinitiate, most likely with a question such as, "Where are you from?" This is when the
freeze out will end as she has made an effort again. In essence the freeze out is a tool to
get her to comply to reinitiating the chat. If she does not decide to reinitiate, I will reinitiate over
the shoulder with only my neck turned to her. Then I will start to make her comply and qualify
herself and SLOWLY turn my body to face her before moving forward again with the
interaction. The reason for this slow down is her lack of compliance if she is not complying to
my every demand, there is a punishment.

A lot of the venusian arts can be derived from the ideas of punishment and reward. We want to
always reward the girl for her compliance and we want to always punish her for her
disobedience. This leads to her wanting to move away from the punishment and towards the
reward. This will lead her to comply more and more, and hopefully to the beginning of some
great relationships with desirable women.

Play with this and try it out. It's not easy to get the hang of, but once you do, your game will
shoot through the roof!