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Healing the Wounds of a Fatherless Generation
Copyright © 2011 by Varn Brown
ISBN 978-0-9830822-0-0
All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher, except for
the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible:
New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International
Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights
reserved.
Scripture references marked NASB are from the New American Standard Bible, ©
The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, and are
used by permission.
Scripture references marked KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.
All New Testament definitions are taken from W.E. Vines Dictionary of New
Testament Words.
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Epigraph
I write not these things to shame you but as my beloved sons I warn you. For though
you have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet have ye not many fathers, for in
Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel. ─1 Corinthians 4: 14-15
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Table of Contents
Healing the Wounds of a Fatherless Generation
Foreword
Preface
Chapters
Summary
Study Guide
Notes
About Author
Resources
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CHAPTER 6
N ot long ago, I was at a popular gas station called Race Trac. This particular gas
station is always very busy. I went in and the line was long as usual. But this time
I was waiting behind a young African American man. He was in his early twenties.
He was wearing the Hip Hop attire most young people wear, which I somewhat like.
But there was one major problem with the young man directly in front of me that day.
His short pants were so low; all I could see were his underwear. Since he was in front of
me there was no way I could ignore it. And this day, the old elephant (me) didn’t want to
be quiet. I said to him and the store manager at the register, “Do I have to put up with
this?”
I have to admit I didn’t start the conversation well. So the situation didn’t start well.
We had a few words. I said to the young man, “I bet your father would not be in
agreement with the way you’re dressed.” He sparked back at me, “You don’t know what
you’re talking about.” He went on to say his father didn’t have anything to say about it.
As you probably can imagine, we had more words. In short, he told me to mind my
own business. After a slight debate back and forth, I told him I just wanted to help. I
explained he was about the same age as my youngest son. As he was finishing up gassing
his vehicle, he shouted back at a distance that he didn’t believe I was trying to help him.
He drove off with a string of curse words directed at me.
My point in telling this story is, this generation (that young man and a whole lot more
like him) are asking for our help. But we must be willing and have the courage to help
them. I believe that interchange may not have had immediate results but I know by the
Spirit of God the seed of God’s correction was planted.
For example, let me tell you one of the reasons I decided to say something. I believe in
reaching out for people. The Lord requires it of me and perhaps you. Once I was picking
up my sister from work. There were some ladies talking loud about their husband
problems. To make a long story short, one of the young ladies was telling the others
about how she would tell her husband off when she got home that evening and it would
not be good.
My first prompting was to tell her the correct way to handle it, the biblical way.
Normally, I would have said something but this day I didn’t say anything. A week later, I
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saw the other girls talking to someone else saying that the young lady was killed by her
husband. Right then, I knew I had missed a chance to instruct her and perhaps influence
her to handle it differently. So, I always carry that with me to keep me on point with
being a witness for Christ.
With all of that said, we must be willing to be the mean parent for a while and say no
when no needs to be said. We must take our courage and say in love to the children in
our circle of influence, “Pull up your pants, son. Or young lady, be modest; cover
yourself.” We should use wisdom in speaking and ministering to them but we must do
something. Why? Because if we don’t, who will?
This chapter is the dearest to my heart because I believe one of the ways the Lord will
heal the fatherless generations is by restoring the relationship between the fathers and
sons, mother and daughters—in essence families. All over the world relationships are
being brought to God’s intended order.
God is restoring the godly authority lines the prophet Malachi spoke of. That great
and dreadful day which I believe stands for the judgment day, the Lord would send that
same spirit of Elijah of power and restoration to turn the hearts of the father to their
children and the hearts of the children to the fathers. It has begun in this day and in this
time lest He smite the earth with a curse.1
We see the price (divorce, teen age pregnancies, crime, suicides, killings and more)
being paid with all of the fatherlessness which is very obvious in this generation. Yet,
there is a spirit of revival taking place in God’s church. All across America men are
becoming more active in the church. Songs are being written about these fathers like
never before.
Luther Vandross wrote a song about the love of his father. Football players are
shouting out ‘Love you, Pops!” My youngest son who is 23 years old at the time of this
writing still kisses me on the cheek and says I love you Dad with his baritone voice.
We are in a new day. The reason I mention this is, it was not like this when I grew up
in the 70s and 80s. Men didn’t cry and they didn’t say I love you. They would knock you
out if you didn’t respect them. It is a better day with many restorations between the
father and his children.
Again, we turn to the words of the Malachi writer who prophesied, “Behold, I will
send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord
and he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the heart of the children to
their father, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.”2
I believe this is the beginning of a revival of family that the Lord is sending in these
last days. In this revival of family, restoration begins a journey that will bring freedom,
liberty and power of authority that will change your life for ever. Remember, the family
lineage of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Even when the Father God spoke of them, he
spoke in generational language.
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There are five things I notice the Spirit of God is doing in this revival of families to
heal the fatherless wounds within many of us and our children.
I started this chapter with the Pants on the Ground story. I wanted to title the chapter
Pants on the Ground but I guess I didn’t push hard enough with my editor. We
examined how important it is for us to stay involved in the lives of this generation. We
must continue to offer our input and our influence when the opportunity presents itself.
We need more fathers that will stand up and say, “Young man pull up your pants or
son, you did that job excellent. I told you about my encounter with a young man at Race
Trac getting gas and about to pay for it. The young African American male in front of me
had his pants so low, only his underwear covered him. I wanted to do a “Color Purple” on
him. Slap him and pray for him later. But I did the correct thing; I did what a mature
elephant would do.
After telling him exactly what I thought of his Hip Hop attire-gone-bad I talked to him
gently and said you are the same age as my youngest son. I would say the same thing to
him. You can probably guess what he did next; yes he cursed me out. (Smile) There was
no problem; he couldn’t whip me. And we went our separate ways but the seed of
correction had been planted.
We examined Prophet Malachi’s when he spoke of a great and dreadful day. He went
on to say the Lord would send the spirit of Elijah. With that spirit of Elijah, He the Lord
would turn the hearts of the fathers to the children. and hearts of the children to the
fathers. In short, he would heal the fatherless generation.
We examined five things the Spirit of God is doing to bring revival to the family. He is
restoring family relationships, godly authority lines, sending the Spirit of power, stirring
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the spirit of revival and calling and empowering his families and fathers to pass the
blessing to the next generation.
Our heavenly Father wants us to have a relationship with Him. He wants us to receive
God’s authority. It is His will for us to operate in His Spirit of power. But we must begin
with the spirit of revival in the family. After we start this revival, we need to pass it to the
next generation.
Finally, I sought to encourage you with Ephesians 6:4 instructing the father not to
provoke the children but to nurture and admonish them. This is a good example of where
we should start in rebuilding and restoring our family structures.
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