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how heavy the water
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fiction (4)
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how I am not this sick body, lyrical essays (4)

but a cycle–a circle, a painted sphere mental illnesses (26)

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in orbit
poetry (22)
given to touch–to feel–magnitudes. Prose Poetry (4)
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shorts (6)
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My Why
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 the continent

of such a life.

—Amy Jo Sprague

Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak whispers to the o’er-fraught heart and
bids it break.
–Shakespeare, Macbeth

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WHERE I’M PUBLISHED

Poetry in first issue of Psychic
Meatloaf
Issue 3 of Pscyic Meatloaf, April
2011
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 AlisonTyne at Etsy
2011

Wo rds are t he physicians o f a m ind dise ase d. – Aeschylus

Searc h
I am a Creative No nfictio n writer and po et, dabbling in creative writing, lyrical essays, and
memo ir. I don’t censo r myself and I do n’t “fluff” and sugar-co at. At times I’m brutally ho nest
but why lie? So me o f my pieces/blo gs revo lve aro und the reality o f mental illnesses–the
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po sitive and negative sides o f PTSD, Bipo lar Diso rder, Disso ciatio n, and
Luke Prater on My
Deperso nalizatio n. These issues I actually use as po ints and truths abo ut a bigger picture
Wild Child
–no t perso nal therapy. I also blo g po etry, sho rt sto ries, and…future…no vel excerpts (ideas).
I write because it is clo ser to me than I am myself. I write because it is what I kno w to do
nikki on My Wild Child
mo st intimately. I do n’t kno w myself until I have written it. It’s been beyo nd “a passio n” o f
mine, it is all I do and what I am mo stly thinking abo ut. My so ul hides o n me in the wo rds
mindlovemisery on It’s
like this wo nderful mystery fo r me. There is a sto ry revealing itself to me as life go es and
In the Little …
go es, I’m waiting fo r so mething–what I do n’t kno w. There is just a sto ry in me, and to no t
tell it–I’d have no purpo se. I’m an o lder co llege student taking a break and, mo st Bluebell Books on
affectio nately, I am a mama. Learning ho w to garden, can’t co o k, lo ve the blues. I lo ve o ld, About
rusty, wo rn and to rn things.
Andy on It’s In the
“Fo rge t yo ur pe rso nal t rage dy. We are all bit che d f ro m t he st art and yo u
Little …
e spe cially have t o be hurt like he ll be f o re yo u can writ e se rio usly. But whe n yo u
ge t t he dam ne d hurt use it – do n’t che at wit h it . Be as f ait hf ul t o it as a scie nt ist Ann Grenier on It’s In
– but do n’t t hink anyt hing is o f any im po rt ance be cause it happe ns t o yo u o r the Little …
anyo ne be lo nging t o yo u.”
Wings across waters
Erne st He m ingway, t o F. Sco t t Fit zge rald (Se le ct e d Letters) on It’s In the Little …

LISTEN & READ: 0 3 – Sleepless Brendan on It’s In the

Difficult Degrees is mo stly a Little …

blo g o f po st-co nfessio nal po etry.

jenneandrews on It’s
It’s an experiment. It’s an acco unt
In the Little …
o f the paths I’m o n, trying to see
thro ugh the trees and into the Luke Prater on It’s In
light. It’s an ho nest windo w into the Little …
myself. Each po em is a different,
difficult degree–steps into the
lights and dark I’m go ing thro ugh
o r seeing, mo o ds and
temperatures o f mental illness

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 and wellness. It started when I
was in the middle o f the
darkness, my o nly way aro und
was a pen. No w I’ve fo und my
way thro ugh the thick part and I’m kind o f explo ring. I’m no t expecting an answer o r a
co nclusio n o r miraculo us revelatio n. The jo urney is what matters. So many truths
everywhere, so many trials and beautiful mo ments. I’m making ro o m fo r myself in this
place, finally a who le wo man. My fractured identity is go ne–thanks to the dark side o f the
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jo urney. It was wo rth it. It was blessing. It has given me a kind o f grace. We have to kno w
despair in o rder to kno w the true light. I co nsider myself so mewhat Buddhist, Tao ist,
Christian…do es it matter? There’s no need to cho o se. They all are quite similar and
beautiful, tho ugh I believe Buddhism has co me clo sest to a center. I’m learning that o nce
yo u’ve been to the edge and yo u’ve co me back, yo u have no thing in life to fear. Because
yo u’ve been there. What if I slip again? What if I falter at so me po int in paying attentio n to
myself and I get sick again? Well, I wo n’t fail myself (I’ve beco me quite lo yal to myself), but
if I sho uld get sick, I kno w the path o f it, I’ll be as prepared as I can and I kno w I’ll make it
thro ugh. The first time is the wo rst because everything is so unkno wn.

I’m in the midst o f making

changes to my life. No w that I’m
healthier and stro nger, it’s time to
start this life o ver. And starting
again is terrifying and exciting at
the same time. Fo r a lo ng time I
hid fro m change and beginning
again. I wasn’t living my life at all, Susannah Tucker at Etsy

and it to o k a to ll o n me. I had to

find o ut fo r myself that in o rder
to find peace and happiness, yo u EMAIL SUBSCRIPTION
have to live. So I made changes
Enter your email address to
and plans. I’m back in scho o l and mo ving back to the city where I was mo st happy, a city I
subscribe to this blog and
visit o ften and feel so alive there fo r so me reaso n. I may mo ve again in a year, do wn by my receive notifications of new posts
best friend, Mike, the sculpto r. We feed each o ther inspiratio n, we’re wells o f dreams and by email.
passio ns. But I’m no t go ing to get ahead o f myself, o ne change at a time. That’s o ne tricky
thing with having bipo lar–finding pro per balance. I want to go the extreme and mo ve far
away and to tally do a 36 0 o n my life, and at the o ther end I’m tip-to eing the babysteps o f Sign me up!
change. Balance. Friends and family help me stay balanced. That’s o ne thing I’ve learned

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fro m go ing crazy and develo ping a suppo rt system–we need each o ther. Family and friends
are true gifts. We are almo st no thing witho ut them.

I’ve spent o ne year inside

madness and half a year hiding
inside myself. The o nly time I
came o ut fo r breath was when I
needed to write. That’s why this
blo g is also spo radic and mo o dy
–it depends o n where I am. And
that’s o k, this plank o f mo o ds,
that’s just the way I am. But
anyways, yes, I hid fo r a lo ng
time. Hid in my ho use, hid in my
self-studies, hid behind my
weight (thanks medicatio ns), hid
behind my stigmas. When I
dro pped the stigmas and
renamed myself I was to tally
empo wered. I define me, no o ne
else do es, no DSM can. And that’s when I started waking up. I wasn’t an exhausted so ul
trapped in a sick bo dy anymo re (Go d Co mplex PTSD was so o o o o ro ugh), I was this light,
this beam co ming thro ugh my skin. I can’t explain it witho ut so unding lame. But my true self
was so mething co ncrete fo r the first time in my entire life. I’d never been who le and sure. It
was/is exhilerating. I can’t wait to mo ve and start up a new life with a new me. At last, I no
lo nger fear change.

Difficult Degrees (fo rmerly “Write Me Up”) is my o wn perso nal no tebo o k o f scribbles,
tho ughts, fears, truths, passio ns, tragedies, and, mo re and mo re, my jo ys. I do n’t ever plan
"POST -C ONFESSIONAL"
what I’m go ing to write o r ho w o r when. This is the mo st uno rganized, spo radic, impulsive
POETRY, POETS ,
blo g ever made. And so meho w I’ve met so me really amazing peo ple because o f it. Peo ple
A RTICLES
" Confessional Poetry" Regan
who , like me, are finding their vo ice, finding their way, and putting their hearts o n the plate
Good
fo r self-examinatio n, truth, and disco very. It’s a great feeling to find o ut that yo u’re no t alo ne
" Confessionalography" –Rachel
–that yo u’re no t the o nly o ne who se been thro ugh certain things–and the co mpassio n we
Z ucker- on- " I" - Poetry
have fo r each o ther is purely beautiful.
" Edge" Sylvia Plath
Thank yo u fo r reading my blo g, " Father, Son and Wholly Ghost"
o r even just this page. I lo ve to –Joel- Dias- Porter

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hear fro m my readers–abo ut " Post- Confess. Poetry" - Harriet-
their o wn jo urneys and blog
similarities and epiphanies. I’m " The Very Act of Telling" (Aaron
also o pen to critique (o n matter Smith on Sharon Olds & Writing
and style, no t vo ice). Yeah, yeah Narrative Poetry)
this is all also practice fo r my " Vespers" Louise Gluck
writing. I’m o n the verge o f Amy Gerstler
starting THE BOOK. The sto ry I Anne Sexton
was meant to write is creeping Anthony Hecht
clo se to the surface again. It’s so Charles Wright
difficult to start. I’ve tried befo re, Essay on First Person Usage in
but my balance and fo cus was o ff. Do I make it literary fictio n? Auto bio graphical fictio n? Poetry
Memo ir? Creative no ficito n? Is it all to be a co llectio n o f essays, a co llectio n o f sho rts, o r a Eula Biss: The Balloonists
co llectio n o f po etry? Can I do it all? Ho w do I begin? I used to think what my sto ry was was James Wright
a tragedy. That’s bullshit. My sto ry is abo ut lo ve and o ur centers and what it takes to find Joe Wenderoth
that lo ve. What it takes. The amo unt o f pain a human can suffer and survive is truly a grand Nick Flynn: Some Ether
thing. So metimes, when I’m silent and wandering my mind, I think–ho w the hell did I make it Olena Kalytiak Davis (article)
o uta there? And the mere fact that I did so lidifies who I am, and makes me a little pro ud o f Rachel Z ucker: Eating in the
myself. In a year I lo st my sanity, my jo b, myself, my ho use, my friends, my fiance, and Underworld
many many mo re things. But ho nestly? I didn’t lo se–I GAINED EVERYTHING. I am living a Robert Lowell's " Skunk Hour"
beautiful life because o f what happened. Ho w the darkness is, in a sense, also the true Sharon Olds
light, is beyo nd me. Everything is o ne, everything is who le. But that’s ano ther sto ry. Sharon Olds: Advice- to- young-
poets (audio) 2009
Yusef Komunyakaa
This wo rk by Amy Jo Sprague is licensed under a Creative Co mmo ns Attributio n 3.0
Unpo rted License.
Based o n a wo rk at amyjo sprague.wo rdpress.co m.
*INTERVIEWS --FICTION
& NONFICTION
Aimee Bender (Bookslut)
Aimee Bender 2010 (failbetter)
Aldous Huxley 1960
Amy Hempel 2003
Anthony Doerr (Granta)
Carlos Fuentes 81'
Charles Baxter 2010
Charles D'Ambrosio (Willow-
Springs)
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 Ernest Hemingway
Gabriel Garcia Marquez 81'
Henry Miller 1962
Jack Kerouac 1968
Joan Didion 2006
John McPhee
Jorge Luis Borges 1967
Michael Chabon (NPR)
Nadine Gordimer 83'
Nick Flynn (Bookslut)
Nick Flynn 2010 (smithmag)
Norman Mailer 1964
Norman Mailer 2007
Rick Moody (on Demonology)
BOMBlive!

*INTERVIEWS --POETRY
Allen Ginsberg 1966
Anne Carson 2009
Anne Sexton 1971
Anthony Hecht
Charles Bernstein 2010
(BOMB111)
Charles Simic & Tomaz
Salamun (BOMBlog)
Charles Wright 89'
Cz eslaw Milosz 1994
Donald Hall 1991
Gary Snyder 1996
James Tate 2006
John Ashbery 83'
John Berryman 72'
Mahmoud Darwish: The-
Butterfly's- Burden
Marianne Moore 1961
Mark Strand 98'
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 Nicanor Parra 2009
(BOMB106)
Nick Flynn (Bookslut)
Nick Flynn at How- a- Poem-
Happens
Pablo Neruda 1971
Robert Bly 2000
Robert Lowell 1961
Robert Pinsky 97'
Stephen Dunn
Stephen Dunn (EWR)
Ted Hughes 1995
Share t his: 5 Share
W.D. Snodgrass 94'
William Carlos Williams 64'
11 Comments »

11 Responses *MORE POETRY

m ary on June 19, 2010 at 12:00 am | Reply
J OURNALS -MAGS
*Subliminal Interiors
Amy, I am so far away fro m myself. What yo u say here abo ve describes yo u. I 2nd Ave Poetry
can’t even get clo se to describing myself. I keep thinking I’m o n it. I’m better. I’ve 3 AM Magaz ine
go t it figured o ut, but I can’t write a wo rd that means anything. I’m go ing to steal 3rd Muse Poetry Journal
so me o f the these quo tes o n yo ur blo gs. They are brilliant and I do n’t kno w why I do n’t A Little Poetry
have them in my o wn cache. I co llect great quo tes. Health and lo ve to yo u my friend. Action, Yes

xo , Agenda (lots of goods)

mary Alice Blue Review

Anemone Sidecar*
Apocryphaltext*
arsenic lobster
Se nde rUpWo rds on January 13, 2011 at 8:49 pm | Reply
Asheville Poetry Review
I applaud yo u. I am much the same. Lo ve and Light, Ballard Street Poetry Journal

Sender Barrow Street

Big Bridge
Blackbox Manifold* (narrative-

on January 28, 2011 at 4:14 pm | Reply poetry)

Bre ndan
blaz eVOX
Keep the faith, it’s a ro ad and wo rth writing. I can’t remember which po et said that blossom bones*
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Dante go t thro ugh Hell “wrapped in the meters” o f Virgil — meaning, when yo u’re Blue Fifth Review*
go ing thro ugh hell, keep writing. And do n’t sto p. Lo ts o f interesting terrain o n the bone boquet* (women)
way, anyway. (Purgato rio is SO much mo re fun than Paradiso .) I did a po st recently o n Breadcrumb Scabs***
“Madness and the Creative,” really abo ut the Va. Tech massacre, but the essay suggests Caffeine Destiny
that madness and creativity are destructive and pro ductive faces o f the so me same thing. If Cerulean Rain***
yo u care to read: http://tinyurl.co m/4mvw5o a . p.s. I think life slo ws us fro m mania into chickenpinata (women)
meaning, but it takes years. And meds. And grace. Columbia Poetry Review
Contemporary American Voices
(blog/poetry journal)
Music&Me aning on January 31, 2011 at 4:58 pm | Reply Cutbank Poetry

“there is no birth o f co nscio usness witho ut pain” –Jung ditch

Dusie (poetry)
RT
e• ratio
Eclectica*
epidermis*
Lisa on February 26, 2011 at 10:35 pm | Reply Flesh Prism

A beautiful page abo ut a beautiful perso n. Flutter*

FRIGG*
From the Fishouse
Fulcrum Poetry
am yjo sprague on February 26, 2011 at 11:27 pm | Reply
Full of Crow
That’s so sweet o f yo u, Lisa Gloom Cupboard* (blog)
Gumball Poetry
GutCult
Gutter Eloquence*
nikki on March 8, 2011 at 4:25 am | Reply HalfDrunkMuse**
Halfway Down the Stairs*
I really lo ve yo ur line (because it really is yo u!) “Ho w the darkness is, in a sense,
Harp and Altar
also a true light”.
Hoboeye*
Hutt*(poetry)
Indefinite Space*
Luke Prat e r on April 22, 2011 at 10:46 am | Reply
ink & ashes: journal of the
I can relate to a lo t o f this. Thank yo u fo r being o pen, ho nest, and no t sugar- senses
co ating. ‘Tis the stuff o f reality, and teh grit o f go o d po etry. To hell with the flo wery Iodine Poetry Journal
crap… Jellyroll: A Journal- of- New-

thank yo u Amy American- Poetry

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 Keep Going
Luke
Lily Literary Review
Lingerpost*
maggy poetry
Maria Papado po ulo u on April 23, 2011 at 5:41 pm | Reply mannequin envy* (wordpress)

What it takes to find that lo ve….yo u summed everything up beautifully in that Mastodon Dentist*

sentence. Matchbox Poetry

Melusine*, or woman in the
21st century

on May 9, 2011 at 10:09 pm | Reply mid)rib*

Kare n
MILK
Hi Amyjo ~ milk magaz ine

Yo u have never met me, but I feel like I kno w a lo t abo ut yo u. I have had the Muse Thing: Calliope- Nerve-

privledge o f watching yo u gro w thro ugh yo ur sister. I want yo u to kno w yo u are an WeBlog*

inspiratio n and I am so relieved yo u have fo und yo ur will to no t o nly survive, but to truly My Favorite Bullet
live! ……..o nly tho se who have experienced such depth o f unbearable pain co uld so My Name is Mud*

elo quantly put her wo rds into such a graceful art fo rm. Co ngratulatio ns to yo u! Karen Nefarious Ballerina*
nibble–a poetry mag* (blog)
nimble*

Blue be ll Bo o ks on May 19, 2011 at 10:10 am | Reply no tell motel

not enough night
aweso me..
Ophelia's Muse
check o ut sho rt sto ry slam to day. ho pe to see yo ur participatio n. Origami Condom
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*POETS ON POETRY
" A Defense of Poetry" Charles-
Bernstein- 2001
" Beginnings" - CK Williams
" Confessionalography" –Rachel
Z ucker- on- " I" - Poetry
" Elements & Functions of
Poetry" (George Santayana)
" Poet at the Dance" –Rita Dove
" Reasons for Poetry" - William
Meredith
" The Art of Finding"

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 " The Poet's Trade" Amy- Lowell
" The Very Act of Telling"
–Sharon- Olds
" Tide of Voices: why- poetry-
matters- now" (Mark Doty)
Jonathan Galassi on the- state-
of- poetry
Mahmoud Darwish
Mark Doty " Souls on Ice"
Mary Jo Bang in Conversation
Poetry & Ambition (Donald Hall)
What is Poetry About (by
Cynthia Oz ick)
What- we- don't- talk- about-
when- we- talk- about- poetry
(Marjorie Perloff)

A BOUT POETRY
*Modern American Poetry
American Verse Project
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Arts & Letters Daily
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Book Finder
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coldfront (news/reviews)
Contemporary Poetics
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Favorite Poem Project
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 Mahmoud Darwish: The-
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Modern American Poetry
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Happens
One Poet's Notes
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A LL SHARON O LDS
About
About Sharon Olds

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 Advice to Young Poets: A-
Conversation- with- Sharon-
Olds
Brief Guide to Confessional
Poetry
Interview on BOMB
Interview w/ The Guardian
poets.org
Reading & Interview
Sharon Olds & Writing
Narrative Poetry
some poems
The Poetry Foundation

A MY G ERSTLER
" In Perpetual Spring"
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Bio & Works

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32poems
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 Xenith

FOR FUN
" Ginsberg's Howl to Franco's
Ginsberg: how- remarkable-
poem- became- remarkable-
movie"
92nd Street Y
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 Poetry Foundation
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32poems
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42opus
4AM Poetry Review
6×6
A Capella Z oo
Alligator Juniper
American Poetry Review
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Born
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can we have our ball back?
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foam:e

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Golden Handcuffs Review
(excellent)
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How2
H_NGM_N
Ibbetson St. Press
Identity Theory
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junk*
Ken* again
Keyhole
kill author
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onedit
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P• M• S poemmemoirstory
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Phoebe
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Poetry Magaz ine
Pom2
POOL*
Prick of the Spindle
Psychic Meatloaf
Puffin Circus
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Rain Taxi
Rattle
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Red China Magaz ine**
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SHINY
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Tarpaulin Sky
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Tool Magaz ine
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Umbrella
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Weird Year
Wheelhouse
Willow Springs
Word/ for Word

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" Ginsberg's Howl to Franco's
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poem- became- remarkable-
movie"
*Modern American Poetry
AE Stallings at 32poems
Aimee Bender
Ana Istaru (Mayday)
Andre Breton (Mass. Rev.)
Anne Sexton
Anthony Doerr
Antonio Porchia
Bei Dao (almost island)
Belle Boggs–Mattaponi Queen
Blogalicious: Notes on Poetry,
Poets, and Books
Caesar Vallejo
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Charles Simic
CK Williams (AGNI)
Collin Kelley: Modern
Confessional
D. A. Powell & Ryan Courtwright

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Deborah Ager
Derek Haines
Diane Di Prima (essay-
collection at BigBridge)
Donna Baier- Stein
Finding Best New Poets (Don
Paterson)
Forugh Farrokhz ad (*Another
Birth)
FSG Poetry
Gabriela Mistral
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Holly Goddard Jones (Girl-
Trouble- stories)
HOWL
Ilie Ruby
Jenny Boully
Julio Cortaz ar
Karen Russell
Linda Gray Sexton
Lisa Lickel
Lisa Shea, Hula
Lori A May
Lucian Blaga (Nth Position)
Mahmoud Darwish: The-
Butterfly's- Burden
Mark Doty
Mark Strand
Mark Strand
Mary Sayler
Nancy Denofio (poetry)
Nancy Duci Denofio
Nick Flynn
Nick Flynn (Boston Rev)
Nick Flynn at How- a- Poem-
Happens

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Oran's Well (my fav)
Paul Lisicky
poetryNprogress
Randall Jarrell
Randall Weiss
Raul Z urita
Right Brain at Play
Robert Hass, Faint Music
She's Writing (Sheila Moore)
Stephanie Grant (the- passion-
of- Alice)
Stephen Dunn
The Poetry Editor
Theodore Roethke's In a Dark
Time
Valerio Magrelli
Virginia Chase Sutton (!)
W. S. Merwin (APR)
Wendell Berry
William Carlos Williams
Xiao Qiao (Mayday)
Yusef Komunyakaa

RADIO
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READINGS
Poetry Readings & Interviews
Poets on Poetry (Univ Michigan
Press)

NetworkedBlogs

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In Your Absence by Judith
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