yfti XLVI N0.

11 MERCYHURST COLLEGE JANUARY 18, 1974

Fri. & Sat. R.U.S.
APPEAR ING NO W ENG. CONDITION i DI SCUSSED
Further discussion was heard who had expressed some con-
concerning a proposed *'English fusion; about it, and later en- were being turned out. However,
Condition" requirement ~at last tertained questions. M Sr. Eustace and other depart-
Thursdays R.U.S. meeting. W Sr. Eustace defined the goal of ment |members fstressed their
At one point, R.U.S. President, the program as an attempt "to dislike for the term * 'illiterate".
Lex Walker, turned the floor over improve writing competency" of Not 11 accusing 8 anyone'j of
to Sr. Eustace, chairman of the Mercyhurst students. She, and "illiteracy", they replaced that
Mercyhurst English Department, other members of the English term with an inability to "com-
who has!; been both coordinator Department present, noted that municate" properly. $
and consultant for the proposed there has been growing concern in As the proposal now stands, an
program. Sr. Eustace re-defined most colleges, including Mercy- E.C. (English Condition) may be
the program for R.U.S. members hurst, that "illiterate" students given by any teacher in any
course who, in the process of that
course, suspects that a student
needs assistance in basic writing
ANNOUNCING... I structure^ The student receiving
the E.C. would then be referred to
a director, to be * hired by the
The?fifteenth annual scholarship awards of] the Pennsylvania college. After pre-testing cthat
Federation of Democratic Women. * 1 student, the director will decide if
the E.C. has been legitimately
The Awards—Two scholarships will be awarded, a Florence given and, if this has been
Dornblaser Memorial Scholarship in the amount of $250 and an determined, will work with that
I ROGER, WENDY AND SAM Emma Guffey Miller Memorial Scholarship in the amount of $250. student to develop his writing
Eligibility—Any deserving woman student in the Junior class of competency. The student? may
Roger and Wendy will continue their engagement at the Student an accredited college or university may apply. The awards are for substitute sessions with the
Union tonight and tomorrow night with shows at 9 and 11. use during her Senior year. She must be majoring in political director byl taking a writing
II I The three members of the group blend tones to create a unique science, government, economics orfhistory or preparing to teach course from the Mercyhurst
style. Roger plays electric auto-harp and organ. one of these subjects. She must have good scholastic standing. She curriculum, but the condition
i Wendy is the singer, a stylist who infuses lyrics with feeling and must'be reasonably active in student activities. She must be a must be fulfilled. It will not affect
meaning. She also plays bass guitar for the group. resident of Pennsylvania. She must establish the need for financial a student's final grade in a given
A girl named Sam provides backup on the electric violin• and aid. And she must possess a Democratic family background or be course, but the condition must be
drums. | *$f?i £ an active participant in the affairs of the Democratic Party. \ honored before graduatioa
The group performs both their own compositons, which make up Purposes—To encourage qualified young women to pursue and to Sr. Eustace admitted that, at
about naif of the show, and songs by other artists such as Bob develop interests in polities and government. % Ji 'j|£ / Lm this time, i no information is
Dylan, Doug Kershaw, and the Moody Blues.* *w*$' " To honor the memories of two distinguished Democratic women, available as to the cost of the
Roger and Wendy opened in the Union last night to an enthusiastic the late Florence Dornblaser, who was the first Treasurer of the program.
audiences &M. W & Pennsylvania Federation of Democratic^ Women, and the late
Emma Guffey Miller-who was the first woman nominated for the % Our sympathy to Jr. John
D.S. T. office of President of the United States. Both women left bequests to
the Federation, the proceeds of which were placed in a scholarship
Daley on the recent loss of
his mother.
fund. Additional funds have been added by the clubs and individual
Change Reactions members of the Federation.
1974. g i
Jgg j
* Deadline—Applications must be postmarked no later than May 1,
u ifc-
John Thomas Nesbit has
been named director of
Although it was still winter on on people with regard to rhythms The awards will be presented to the winners in person on Tuesday, grants a t Mercyhurst
January 6, our clocks ^ had to that relate to illumination. & June llth, at the Annual Convention of the Pennsylvania Federation College. He had been af-
"spring ahead" an hour for He also mentioned the dangers of Democratic Women at Reading, Pa. \ 4 filiated with, thej PA.
Daylight Savings Time. How did of driving in the dark and of Applications—Applications may be obtained by writing to: Department of Justice since
ycji react to this change? Here children walking to school before Memorial Scholarship Fund 1969, mostil^recently* as
follows a sampling of the daylight. $ $ Grace M. Sloan, Chairman special | assistant- for
response to the measure by the On the other hand, several P.O. Box 3804 g % operations. -t t>
Mercyhurst Community. people shared the view of Peggy Harrisburg, Pa. 17105 He holds a B.A. in
Several persons polled shared Flocos, who said that the change criminology -administration
we feelings of junior J Evelyn to DST "doesn't make any dif- and is doing graduate work
Bogdanski, who leaves her home ference to me because 1 don't at Penn State for a Master of
at8:00each morning. "1 don't like ^have; to get!* up early." The
locome toschool in the dark" she sophomore 'feels that the
stated. ^measure is not accomplishing
ANTI- TUMOR Planning with t an urban
emphasis.

i
Sophomore Nick larussi said
savings Time was a good decision
anything.
History
*
i
*
professor
"w the changed to Daylight ^McQuillen said that "We'll have
1
Mike R ESEAR CH Producing*an anti-tumor drug
PLflCEmENT
•«* the time being and that it is to wait' and see' whether the for cancer research occupies the
*?9 some measure f. is} successful
electricity. He ipurpose of takingf stress off in its spare time of Mercyhurst's fOFFICE
jWied, though, *j don't really generators during the f organic chemistry professor,
peueye in this energy crisis. . . . peak hours (Sword H. Cox. In conjunction
n
* <*e s something in it to make Iof5to7p.m. j '(> J < NEWS
with Roswell Park Memorial
money for someone." | Dr.tMcQuillen commented that Institute I in Buffalo, Dr. Cox is Tuesday, Jan. 22 - U. S. Dept.
pthe measurer will probably not devoting mam/ hours to the dif- of Health, Education &
-Psychology professor *John affect Erie that much since it is ficult preparation of a substituted Welfare
Mewart said that* the disad the bigger cities which use much nucleoside which he .-will send
vantages of the-measure out- more electricty at that time of the back to Roswell for further tests. Tuesday, Jan. 29 £ General
™gn the benefit of the "trifling day. 9 I The anti-tumor drug > will be Telephone Company of
amount of energy that is saved." Results." on the attempt to tested }ior effectiveness on Pennsylvania.
w the effect of DST at this time conserve energy may be for- microorganisms first. If the drug
r, Dr Stew rt
th^ . ' a remarked "I thcoming in a month or two, Dr. succeeds 'in killing the Tuesday, Jan. i 29 - Hoover
JJink
bl
it'$ disruptive
M
to our McQuilien projected. | | microorganisms, it will then be Vacuum Company
^gicaltimeclocks.
e Daylight Savings-; Time is used on rats and later on larger
.fi said thai rising when it is scheduled to remain in effect until
Sl mammals. If it continues to look Wednesday, Feb. 20 - Pitts-
"i dark has a disturbing effect October, 1975. $ promising, his carefully prepared burgh Public Schools
compound will eventually be tried
#*0. T.C. SCHOLARSHIP on humans. | I Seniors are urged to make
their appointments with
Dr. * Cox began a * related Placement Office as soon as the
Gary R. Arndt, a sophomore law&enforcement major at Mer- Dr. Cox pours Ms reaction research project at Roswell in possible if an interview is
I 8 ? £ ollege h a s b e e n
a^ arded a
three-year Army |ROTC 1971 as a summer college teacher desired with } the above
mixture into ice water. research participant. Hispresent Recruiters. j £ |
. The sonof Mr^and Mr*. Richard M. Arndt, 169 East 9th Street, he project I has resulted from con-
prerii W**»te <* Fort LeBoeuf Higl* School where he was tinued contact with Roswell
^siaent of his sophomore and junior classes. 1 U The Merciad Meeds am/ researchers over the last three * — ^Part-tfifte job op-
3 * M awarded the ROTC scholarship in recognition of his student interested in writing. years. c !' portunities can be obtained
^morstrated
s a d
leadership abiUties, academic excellence, physical Uyout, or general news Started in 1898, Roswell was the from the Placement Bulletin
t £ ' ? par^ctoation in extracurricular activities. K r i u Phone 804-3740 or first institute inn history to be Board located on the second
fJr^noiarshJp
UB an
wUfjiay all tuition, textbooks and laboratory |eav4 message in MIO. entirely devoted: to cancer floor of Old Main.
2uir a l allowance of $100.00 per month during his remaining Room. I research. It is supported by New
*ffil ** H u n t The Erieite was eligible for the award York State jand government
Cofir *** <*«* enrollment agreement of Mercyhurst and Gannon grants. iMlf^
 PAGE 2 MERCYHURST COLLEGE JANUARY 1ft , . , ,

Dario's Divots | GUARDIANS fENTER...

THE TIME 74 RESOLUTIONSPlPOET'S
JCORNER
With t h e N e w Y e a r upon us, w e ara sure m a n y of you h a v e m a d e N e w
Y e a r ' s resolutions and already broken t h e m . As your Spiritual Guardians, w e

HAS COME by Dario Cipriani, Sports Editor

h a v e taken it upon ourselves to interview various people on what their
resolutions a r e . T h e s e people have vowed to stick by their resolutions, no
m a t t e r how h a r d . H e r e w i t h a r e your friends' and our resolutions for 1974:
Roe 5 ' 6 r t a — \ h a v e resolved to compile m y jokes in a book entitled 1004
wur * i I O K U S oy K. T 'j,
Sport—I have resolved myself to read R.'s book to cure my insomnia.
Rick Birmingham—I have resolved myself to look like my idol, Prince
T t. ffl
-j*
FMJ^
J&&' by candace yanker

X it was in, it was once 8

f thaH was once in or other
5 through or together
Valiant (only his hairdresser knows for sure). '^S^R** I ?1 $<3f* ^ * or pieced abominably asunder
With more than half of the 1973- and currently have better records Marypat McCarthy and Terri Feumun—We have resolved to show more £ ' was once i was knowing
1974 basketball season completed than the 'Hurst. There are other respect for our senior idols In Apts. 112 and 113. ? I XML \ • ^andyetlwasnot.
schools still in contention for a Dave Williamson—I have resolved not to let^the Red Cross declare my VW : i was growing BB$
the time has come for the Mercy- a disaster area. ? f * \ *< 1 | .V - * inward and outward, n i
hurst College'basketball team to post-season NAIA -berth. B . P . H . — I have resolved to show the M.U. students that Union dances can
':d over and above. I |
begin their run for Kansas City. Clarion State, Geneva,Frostburg be fun. fv j*J *3 ^ £ hj&M*
^ green hills are black |
The Lakers thwarted in their bid and Waynesburg all have very Marianne—lhave resolved not to be bored or bummed out for the '74 year. "4
Bev Welsh—I have resolved to learn to speak English. i.ijg J * ::
•• Kll?#r f ? ,a k k,e,are
«wnal. i
{or an unprecedented eighth respectable records. jMany Liza Guida—I have resolved to grow another four inches so people can't but flickering throughout i
straight victory by Steubenville people will tell you that there are call me a munchkln. "J M c ' Sfb
Margot La Strange—I have resolved to prove to John Voikus that he fell in
c the commencement of tragedy i
now|come|to the point where more good basketball! teams in ^^v>. bymartlng.migiioretti !
love with me first. J { ££§ '.nS II *,, *\
every victory is of utmost.-im- the District this year than in any Mr. Lanahan—1 resolved to be married by the end of 1974 or remain? a -y i want to get out... • !
portance, I previous one. i The competition bachelor the rest of my life. ^ %*. #§l£* 4 * 2 ' but i ha ve never been in j
Jesse Campbell—I have resolved to make as many points in the second half * ^ r - . . written by a friend " !
The Barons dealt Mercyhurst a will be very difficult? for |Mer- as I do In The first. 7 w | i | n ^f| $wj * -4
55-54 overtime loss last Saturday cyhurst and it will be an uphill Egan- I resolve to go out on the court and do a cheer with the rest of the : * i wanna laugh. J j
battle all the way to Kansas City. cheerleaders. |2 3 SWM I *% -Wt i^S^ & . i like your eyes. •* \
on their* home floor, Down by Frank Barry—I have resolved to become the director of a girls' choir. * p 3 i like myself in your eyes, when
twelve points at one time* the ODDS'N ENDS £ Gerry Sica—I have resolved to donate all my left-over peanuts to the « you laugh. w

'Hurst fought back and for a few The Miami Dolphins certainly elephants in the Erie Zoo and not use them for target practice. J © i wanna laugh with you, baby
proved they are the best football Frank Sands—I resolve that in the year 1974 I will no longer be too young. 1R jh make me laugh, f
moments held a two point lead in Emick—I have resolved to be number one man on the basketball team. « I i wanna touch you J
the overtime session. The Lakers team in the world. They made a t

Smoke—I resolve that someone will recognize my reel talent artel* I wH|. s and talk with you, baby.
2 appear in the coffeehouse as the singing .brother. B |
now show an 8-5 Uon loss slate. mockery of Super Bowl VIII bv Bngette—I have resolved to reform my R.F.M.J B j J B f e ^ J B ^ g ^ ^ g ^1^
^BW**^ *jg wanna talk.
Ten games remain on this pounding Minnesota 14-7. I feel Kennedy—I have resolved to get a hair transplant M J ? § i ggj . 6 i I ike you. i I ike your eyes. $
they are threatening t the old Obie—I have resolved to remain a member of the hurd of brotherly love. ^L ft like myself in your eyes, when
season's slate. The game against Rosie Scott—I resolve to stay off crutches for the rest of basketball season. ^ you talk with me,
Shaw College has officially been Packer and Brown teams for Mary Drummond—I have resolved to live in alcave in Kentucky and ^ baby,.make me laugh.
cancelled, so the best the Lakers their claim as the best football become a hermit. 3 * | l?Ri * S yj § * P ^ K written by a friend's friend
can do is 18-5. This will definitely team in .history, fWithout any Bill Guyton—I have resolved not to spend as many nights in the Ramada Inn
get them a spot in NAIA post- major*, shake-ups, the Dolphins as I did last year. ^ 1 A I 9 i f please feel free to enter? youi
And we as your spiritual guardians have resolved to continue with our thoughts, in any literary form..:
season District 18 fplay offs. could conceivable win Super Bowl column in hopes to enlighten and entertainthestudentsofM.il. II
they are always welcome.
However, the pressure will be on IX and X. Happy New Year, > $? &SjffiltM I WS apgjPSSfeS^^pK^1
Your Spiritual Guardians ^RtHr jS^SaftBJffiSBwHmSiiMflS?^
in each of these contests. They Want to see a great basketball P.S. Better Luck this year. J j i -| 13| Wx&L f ^ H E S ? ^
cannot afford more than one loss. game? Watch the|Notre Dame P.P.S. Happy Birthday to Dianne Leslie Pickens for a happy 2 2 n d . x ^ ^ ^ 3
y As Ifsee MM 17-6 record could U.C.L.A. clash from South^Bend BENEFIT PARTY
get us into the play offs. The big tomorrow on the tube. My Lakers Record to January 12
game of course, will be Edinboro. prediction U.C.L.A. (with or ^ Friday, January 18 after
They will be ranked number one I RESULTS (8-5, Home 2-1, Hoad 6-4) £§ Laker Game
without Bill Walton will defeat
in the district no matter if we beat the| Irish. They beat both Lakers 92 MD-EASTERN SHORE
• (20T) g t o liaise Money To Bail
them on not. Alvictory against Maryland and North Carolina Lakers 86 | a t WHEELING ^ 5 J oh u Ryck's dad out
Edinboro ^vould almost insure State who were threatening their Lakers w 80 at POINT PARK P ^ 5 . ^ of Jail '-*£
Mercyhurst of receiving a bid, position as number one). ILAKERS 59 | a t St. Vincent tgl
providing we don't get dumped by Lakers > 37 ^at Fredonia State ( 9 R ? I Ad mission $ I.(M)
The basketball team will play LAKERS 93
host to HWalsh College tomorrow Eastern Conn. State ffig i | n f l | Shots $ .25 ^
Walsh, FLock jHaveiv Benrend, LAKERS 72
etc. Twcmore losses and schools night at Tech Memorial. The North Adam State m& B Third Floor Scsler Apts
out; waitftill next year..Even if Cavaliers are currently 7-10 for ^LAKERS , 90 Shaw (Mich.) m i^S^M' (ireen Door)
we lose to Edinboro we are taking the season. The Lakers will at- ^LAKERS 75 Mansfield State
our chances since both Fredonia tempt to rebound from their loss ^LAKERS 72 Bluefield State $
and Point Park own victories over to Steubenville and get on the LAKERS 90 Point Park
us. They are both in the District right road to K.C. LAKERS 92 at Alliance Sponsored by
Lakers | 54 at STEUBENVILLE (OT) Mark Musial
I / Eastern Conn. State and North Adams State • John Welsh
*-JI
games in Western New England College Classic v JohnKyck 4
1973-74 Mercyhurst Basketball Statistics? \ %1 Mansfield and Bluefield State - games in Greater Everyone's invited
Thirteen Games (Won 8, Lost 5) | f Bluefield Invitation Tournament. MSi* i i Donations Welcomed
Player g fmg-fga Sftm-fta reb avg pts avg
Jesse Campbell
Curtis Hixon
Carl Jones
13 108-257 29-53 227
13 69-133 26-33 67
13 54-158 24-34 17
17.5 245 18.8
5.2 164£ 12.6
1.3 132 10.2
FRUIT FARM 99

Willis Cardot *j
Bob Repko
10 36- 83 19-31^ 19
13 31- 58 14-21 .63
1.9 91 9.1
4.8 76 5.8
"The Funnier I Smoke, thefDrinker I Get"
MikeEmick 13 30- 66 7- 8 47 3.6 67 5.2 (Note: Due to a lack of cartoon ideas, and a serious shortage of aesthetic inspiration (dope)/ the Fruit Farm
Jeff McConnell 12 29- 68 8-14 48 4.0 66 5.5 cartoon has transcended into literary form this week. For maximum enjoyment* devour the contents of this article
wffh your mind while in an upper level of consciousness.) I 3 | sgf f. Sjfi
Jeff Davern 12 23- 62 13-17 17 1.4 59 4.9
Steve Albert 10 19- 49 12-23 46 4.6 50 5.0 WASHINGTON (UPI) ^Senate investigators were alerted on the discovery of a previously unreleased tape in the
DanBukowski 12 13- 41 12-20 20 1.7 38 3.2 possession of Mrs. Richard Nixon in the white house today. Chief investigator Leon Jaworskl disclosed that the tape,
190 minutes in length/ contained predominantly unintelligible mumblings/ which investigators have linked to that of
Dave Wieczorek 3 1- 2 i 2- 3 1 0.3 4 1.3 President Nixon and former White House thief of Staff, H.R. Halderman. An offfcial transcript of the conversation
Bryant Jacobs^ 3 0- 2 0- 1 2 0.7 0 0.0 has been released to the press, and condensed as follows: J £ 5 S|jP *
JimMahoney£ 2 0- 5 0- 0 2 1.0 0 0.0 2£ Mr. Nixon: M m m . . .ah?, .mmm.. .oh. . .oh.. .mmmmaaahh...
Mr. Halderman: NnghM! Nrragh!!! rrrgh! I! g2
Jim Oshlick 1^ 0- l | 0- 0 0 0.0 0 0.0 Mr. Nixon: Mmmrrbl.. .mmnrgn.. .ah. .mmm. .oh. .oh...
Cliff Root $ 0- 0 0- 0 of 0.0 0 0.0 Mr. Halderman: NNNGHH! HRRAGH!!! AAHHRRRrrrrmmmm... ^
Mr. Nixon: Aaaaaahhhhh^..!! # * jE| 3 \
Mr. Halderman: You've been eating ruben sandwiches again! *
Mr. Nixon: My heartfelt apologies. Bob. •'
Acute shortages as of this writing:
gasoline paper 'j£ oatmeal licensed harpsicord players acid rock
prophylactics
oil £ m ink beatniks roa chc lips \ %\
electricity blacklites peace medals sL horror movies \ money
Anyone who would be interested in "Writing Up" intramural natural gas Astroturf Cream of Wheat green kryptonite marijuana
oxygen Fennec Foxes [ Dr. SchoII's Foot Powder Hefty Trash Can Liners sanity
basketball for the Merciad contact Jack Riley, phone 868-2437 or
in the cafeteria. ' ¥ . T T V j. Actual World Records: ?
Longest beard: 17i2|feet, belonged to Hansi Langseth,SBnd was presented+to the Smithsonian Institutibn, m
Washington/ D.C., upon his death in 1967. y <&
Largest kidney stone: 13 lbs., 14 oz., removed from an eighty year-old woman«Jn London, England, t
Most husbands: AI in the case of Theresa Vaughn, aged 24, with in a five year period.
Prune eating: 151 at one sitting, by James Hodgkiss, of Litchfield* England, on November 7,1970.
Worst tongue twister: "The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick." by Ken Parkin, of Tesside, Illinois.
Longest song title: "I'm a Cranky Old Yank in a Clanky Old Tank, on the Streets of Yokohama with my Honolulu

THEMER CI AD Mama, doing those Beat-o, Beat-o, Flat-on-my-Seato, Hirohito Blues," by HoagyCarmichael In 1943.

Things that aren't funny anymore:

Years of Service belly button lint

aardvarks'*
Johnny Carson
pubic hairs
shooting moons f
B. Phillip Herring
boogers
Alice Cooper
homos
dead baby jokes
The Hollywood Squares
Watergate Jokes k Ji I w ^
Buz Sawyer and his pal, Roscoe Sweeney
Fat Albert %: Gnus $' Mad Magazine
Published weekly during the college year, except Thanksgiving, bathroom graffiti faking the dry heaves
fersessfofv Christmas and Easter vacations, and examination periods cutt in' the cheese Your Spiritual Guardians |
toy the students of Mercyhurst College, Erie, Pa., HS01. Mailing ad-
dress: Mercyhurst MailroonvPfeston Hall, Box 3*. Th ingsthat are funny:
personal vibrators Gahan Wilson Bugs Bunny
policemen The Three Stooges ti Fruit Farm
• Bob Sutherland armadillos " Bonanza «? "snakes and rats,
"Reefer Rollers"^ R|Cr0mb« Star Trek real dry heaves
7 he AAarx Brothers hogs % rednecks Dave Blanchf ield
= , u n ,eav v u wltn the w o r d s f m Johnson, who said:
***»AK ?2L i tt ii * 2 , o our i m m o r t a l L a k e r s ' Basketball manager, Sa
A h , w e l l , a h , a h , yea, a h , I m e a n , ah, yea, a h , ya k n o w ? "
Editor: Cathy'Stevenson
K i m Wonfenay FRI.18 SflT.19
Assistant Editor^
Editorial Board
ACTIVITIES Coffeehouse" Roger, Wendy ft S a m "
Shows 9 & 10 1
Coffeehouse f
"Roger, WendyA Sam
?$ Feature:
Newsj,- •{
j Sue Weiner
Sharon ^Narnar
1 Dario Cipriani
January 18-25 B.Ball Home (Tech) Lakers
Vs. Walsh 8 p . m . 98.10 |
Sports: M
% Assistant Sports
Drama: '^fe
Jack Riley
Mark Zlne
SUN.20 TUES.22
AnneMashinic AAovie 7 & 9 JK Baking-Hiking Demonstration
business M a n a g e r : Union 11:30 to 2:30 a
F a c u l t y Advisor: Barry McAndrew "The French Connection"
Must have \aXSkWL Bowling Party-Eastland Bowl
Midnight to ??
Staff: Paul Manes,?Toni Loupe, PauI'Doran, Diane Pickens, Cathy
McCarthy, Dennis Coan, John Sullivan, Ann Condon, Candy Yanker. FRI.25
M i n i Concerf Union
9 p.m. Gerry Grossman