Sie sind auf Seite 1von 48

Metro Arts & Entertainment Weekly

SPRINGING TO LIFE>
PAGE 30
May12,1994

L
[
,
"
f
r
r
-- -

!Al c:? c:? n@a\Ylc:?IT)Jl\HMlil Q Q Q 'iJUu c:? IDm.cr


--------.
J 6;l1d Ccpil<J1
[ir.Ti({- fifoT Vrl1fi fif
t
)'}: (iIi (iliT fifon
.. t , r [ir.Ti({-n (iIi
-

99
44
/100%
Pure Men
Inside
CORNfR OF 22NO RPST., N.W.

rln s

rice
m-c ose

DEPARTMENTS
IN Focus
Where in the Bible does it say not to be gay? 7
NEWS OF THE QUEER
Mailings from Dr. Kenned)\
plus a report on the Helen Hayes Awards 9
CRYSTAL BALL'S HOROSCOPE 17
Metro Arts & Entertainment Weekly
May 12 - 18, 1994 Volume I, Issue 2
AsK DIVA
Price wars and a new form of napkin 18
c
..,
o
-
c
J
36
39
29
42
43
46
40

Cover Photographs:
"Zero Patience" by Rafy;
Spring to Ufe Main Dance Event
by Richard von Zimmer
FICTION
Adventures of Hemlock Sholmes, Part X 19
BALTIMORE DISH
PERSONALS

OUT ON THE TOWN.


Our weekly calendar of events
ESCORTS
HOTSPOTS
A listing of your favorite haunts
Top 10's
THE BACK ROOM
How to host the perfect after hours
DNTHECOVER
With his innovative, controversial musi-
cal "Zero Patience," John Greyson has
made a fIlm that
speaks-or
should we say
sings?-to a gay
and lesbian
audience. In an
exclusive inter-
view, the Cana-
dian director
ector talks about
why he decided
to approach
this compelling,
sobering topic in a musical light.

SPRING TO LIFE
Correspondent David DiZsadin's cover-
age ofWashington's biggest partyweekend.
Metro Arts & Entertainment Weel<ly
724 Ninth St., NW - Ste. 429
Washington, D.C. 20001
(202) 347-7640 - Fax: (202) 347-781 1
All material appearing In Metro Arts & Entertainment Weekly Is pro-
tected by federal copyright law and may not be reproduced In whole
or part without the pel mission of the publisher. Metro Arts & Enter-
tainment Weekly assumes no responsibility for unsolicited materials
submitted for publication. All such submissions are subject to editing
and will not be returned unless accompanied bya self-addressed stamped
envelope. Metro Ivts & Ent.. tainment Weekly is supported by many
fine adIIertisers. but we cannot accept responsibility for dalms made by
adIIertisers nor can we accept responsibility for materials provided by
advertisers or their agents. Publication of the name or photograph of
any person or organization In artides or advertising in Metro Arts &
Entertainment Weekly is not to be construed as any indication of the
sexual orientation of such person or organization.
Publishers: . Marcus lyman & Randy Shulman
Editor-in-Chief: Randy Shulman
Art Director: Richard von Zimmer
Production Manager: Mark S. Tucker
Director of Sales Ie Marketing: Marc lyman
Contributing Editors: ean Bugg. Mark J. Schroeder
Contributing Artist: Paul Myan
Contributing Writers: Cry Lal Ball
Raynor Beane-Burton. Diva, J. Rexer. Polly 1i
@ 1994 I osceles Publishing, Inc..

nstea 0

rune!
I

llAM UNTIL 8PM


WITH OUR BUILD-YOUR-OWN BLODY MARY BAR
1-
VALIDATED PARKING AVAILABLE: ASK THE MANAGER FOR DETAILS
1629 CONNECTICUT AVE., N.W
-..
I ..t, ... .. -
r

"'

.. 'l.: :.
'. ,

, -J.
(
";
''"..
<.'
H''''
". ? :

,.

> t
-i. .
..
-'.
- ..

.' "

.' ;;..
<

' .
..

," "
:
'. ,
.
. .'

RELIGIOUS PROPAGANDA
I n

F o c u S
by Mark J. Schroeder
projecting a
beacon of hope
Why are so
many Funda-
mentalists
preaching a
message of
hate when they

should be
was saying that he was greater and more wise
than that god. It was most defInitely a major
"no-no" back then-and it still is today.
By placing themselves in a position where
they are able to "second guess" the Almighty,
by telling Him what will and will not happen;
it seems pretty clear to me that some of these
"holier than thou," self-appointed watchdogs of
morality have unwittingly plunked themselves
onto pretty dangerous turf. I mean, if God
wasn't pretty
caught up with
the omniscience
of His own be-
ing, it wouldn't be
the fIrst words he
spoke to Moses.
And speaking
of Moses ... re-
member the tab-
lets God wrought
for him? Check
out what they say.
See ifyou can fInd
any law mandat-
ing whomyou are
to love; or with
whom you are to
spend your life,
sharing your tears
andyourjoys, your
failures and your
successes. I've
looked long and
hard, trying ro
read into or interpret each word in anyway that
might remotely suggest an admonition against
same sex love and I'll be damned if I can.
So why are so many Fundamentalists getting
so riled up and preaching a message of hate
and bigotry when they should be projecting a
beacon oflight and hope. Why didn't Godspeak
up?
Guess it just wasn't an issue with God.
AINSfREAM RELIGIOUS denominations-
both Christian and Jewish-have long
viewed homosexuality as an abomination to
God, as a sin so abhorrent that even the Al-
mighty Himself fInds it easier to forgive the
murderer, the thief or the rapist than the Queer.
Gay men and women are destined-if we are
to accept what certain religious leaders and zeal-
ots would have us believe-to spend not only
our brief time on this planet in a continual state
of immoral flux outside the will of God. We're
also doomed to eternal hell, fIre and brimstone.
What absolute crap!
How is it even conceivable for any rational
human being to be so presumptuous as to de-

lude himself into believing that he has been


granted exclusive insight into the inner work-
ings to the mind of a God whose very being
and nature extol perfect love? Talk about sin!
These hate-mongering, pompous, narrow-
minded zealots who are so quick to judge their
fellow man, have managed, through their own
ignorance and naivete, to put themselves into a
most precarious position in their own personal
relationship with God. .
The God of the Old and New Testaments is
very clear when speaking to us about his sover-
eignty. Perhaps it would do some of these "reli-
gious folk" well, to revisit the First and Second
Commandments and take a more careful look.
When God declares that He is "the Lord, thy
God" and that we shall have no other gods be-
fore us, He is talking one-on-one to the Pat
Robertsons, the Jerry Falwells, and the John
Pauls. He is telling them in no uncertain terms
that He, and He alone is God, and nothing is
greater (nor wiser) than Himself certainly not
them.
The ancient Greeks called it "hubris," the only
sin against the gods that was so severe that it
was absolutely unforgivable. An example ofhow
it worked would go something like this: When
a man placed himself in a higher position of
authority than the god whom he worshiped, he

TURING

NOW ACCEPTING
24 "0" STREET, S.E.
(202) 4840323

I
PLUS
,
THE LARGEST
SELECTION OF
ALL MALE VIDEOS
FOR SALEIN
THEDCAREA!

- ~ - ~ - - _ . ~ - - - -

POLLY
~
H
One of America's ><
><
most widely read
weekly publications. Po-
rtKle magazine. recentlyran
a lesbian-specificquestion in
its "Personality Parade"
gossipcolumn.
"Q: It has been statecI as
fact that Janet Reno is an
admitted lesbian. I happen
,
sexual orientation has noap-
parent bearing on the per-
formance of her duties in of-
fice, most people believe
that there is no reason to
1'k'I
to admire her and would
like the truth. Would you
provide it? R.L., India-
napoliS, IN.
':4.; In various public fo-
rums, suchasTVand maga-
zine interviews, Attorney
General Janet Reno. 55, has
addressed the question of
her single status by saying
that, althoughshe likes men.
she just hasn't met the right
one. Rumors to the contrary
notwithstanding, Ms. Reno
has never suggested that
she is a lesbian. Since her
-
,
Dr. Kenr'edy
has suddenly
discovered
not just like
heterosexual
RELIGIOUS NUT INVADES MAILBOX!
efore the upcoming ballot-box battle for
Gay civil rights takes place with referendums
designed to take away what gains have been
made in the past few years, some self-ap-
pointed mouthpieces of God are making their pre-
liminary engagements in the mailbox.
We recently received a copy of"Special 'Gay
Rights': Fact & Fiction," a lovely little piece ofpropa-
ganda being circulated
by the Reverend D.
James Kennedy, Ph.
D. (there must have
been a special on
doctoral degrees in the
7-11, right next to the
burritos). Adapted
" Hom 0 sex u a I from an earlier version
b e h a v i 0 r is-by Colorado for
Family Values, the
brochure purports to
expose the myth of
"gay rights" as a plot
b e h a v i 0 r " 'to "force all of us to
accept, affirm, and
even subsidize their
deviant "lifestyle."
This is the type of brochure best read with your eyes
closed. Among some of its revelations...
Because our choice is right, that's why.
Next question. Since Queers "choose" their lifestyle,
they shouldn't be protected the way ethnic and
biological gender groups are. Of course, the fact that
Christianity and other religions are constructed
around the "choice" to believe in the unprovable is
breezily explained away with a reference to First
Amendment protection. You couldn't solve
-

A Play by
Paula Vogel

\
May ll-June 12
This
production
sponsored by
AT&T
The Washington
Premiere of a 1992
Oble Winner
......)
.'

\.....

,.....

con't i n u e d
POLLY
pursue the matter fur- foi
....
><
Reno was honored ><
ther."
The Washington Times'
"'nside the Beltway" politi-
cal gossip column recently
ran an item about the trau-
mas fadng a transgendering
personworkingat thesuper-
secret CentrallnteJligence
Agency.
"Lawmakersat themeet-
last month by the National
Gay& Lesbian Task Force
as an "ally" of the gay com-
munity.
"To update our item last
week about the male CIA
employee within the office
that analyzes spy satellite
photographs who is under-
going a sex change opera-
tion," wrote the Times, "[it]
to become a woman, a
closed door congressional
hearingresultedonthe mat-
ter.
turns out...that after theman!
woman approached his/her
supervisor not long ago to
advise him of his/her desire
s w E N
a third-grade word problem with logic this circular.
Queers are rich, so screw 'em. Accord-
ing to the good doctor and his Colorado friends, all
of us are rolling in dough with household incomes of
more than $55,000. Queers go to college! And even
worse, they travel overseas!
The reverend says it best: "Would it be fair for
disadvantaged Americans to compete with wealthy
homosexuals for minority contracts and special
benefits?" Of course not. When we get back from
Greece, we'll organize a benefit for them (but only if
they chip in on the barn rental.)
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's sexual
prowess. Somewhere along the way, Dr. Kennedy
discovered that "Homosexual behavior is not just like
heterosexual behavior." Of course not, silly that's
why we like it. From the looks ofhis statistics, claim-
ing that 43 percent of Queers have had more than
500 sex partners (28 percent have had more than
1,000), it seems some of us have a lot of catching up
to do. We've cleaved our calendar through June 1998.
Honey, hide the cat! Who knows where they
get the time, but according to the .reverend, Queers
have managed to molest approximately every other
child in the United States and its affiliated territories.
You know how it is: you've spent the day
making an obscene amount of money, you've met
and left Mr. Right umber 2,148, and your trip to
Thailand doesn't happen until next week. What else is
there to do but buy some lollipops and hang out at
the neighborhood playground?
Wanna get on Dr. Kennedy's misaligned
nerves? Request a copy of his Gay rights "opinion
survey": James Kennedy, Ph.D., Coral Ridge Minis-
tries, P.O. Box 407132, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33340-
7132. He'll sell your name to half the religious loony
organizations in the country. But every stamp they
buy means Granny will have to write a bigger check
and her Social Security only stretches so far. ..
continued

POLLY
~
....
><
><
come a woman. go
The Human Rights
Campaign Fund's commit-
ment to serving the interests
of the Democratic Party
instead of the gay com-
munity's, was proved yet
again in a recent story in
New England's INNews-
weekly, a gay newspaper:
HRCF's communications
one year.
'''Women's pants are OK,
but no dresses; certain types
ofshirts are OK. but nothing
too feminine or flowery.' said
the source."
ahead and let him/her. But
the employee was asked to
limit his/her wardrobe for
PROMOTING DEMOCRATS
director Gregory King
boasted: "HRCF has gone
on record stating we do not
promote homosexuality. "
King was responding to
questions about HRCF's un-
flinching support for Con-
gressmanJoseph Kennedy
(D-MA) and his wrong vote
~
ing...decided.. .ifthe em-
I
ployee wanted to be-
s w E N
i n g , s
provided by
the acceptance
~ pee c h e s
ON THE SCENE AT THE HELEN HAYES
_ he Helen Hayes, Washington's theatre awards,
~ handed out in a gala ceremony this past
Monday, May 9, at the Warner Theatre. The

ceremony itself seemed a little staid, lacking the


sparkle of previous years but then, what else can
you expect when your big musical number is The
Hostess With The MostestAt the Ball from "Call Me,
Madame" sung by the tonally challenged Tyne Daly?
Nonetheless the presentation and the raucous
party that followed at the J,W Marriott was fully
enjoyable. Celebrity
watchers .were not disap-
The eve n _ pointed and the glitzy list
included Jane Alexander
m 0 s t (honored with the Ameri-
can Express Tribute),
e n t e r t a i n i n g Stacy Keach, Richard
mom e n t s we r e Thomas, Eli Wallach and
the towering Mercedes
Ruehl.
The evening's most

entertammg moments
were provided by the
acceptance speeches.
Accepting his award for
Outstanding Supporting
Performer in a Non-Resident Play or Musical, "The
Kentucky Cycle's" Jacob (Tuck) Milligan, clearly
dazed from the win, said: "I'd like to thank every
member of the cast the least ofwhich is Stacy
Keach." Tuck quickly amended his faux pas.
"3 Hotels" producer Ron Kastner, accepting
the Outstanding Director award for Joe Mantello -.
LUNCH 11:30am to 2:30pm ,
DINNER 5:00pm to 11:OOpm

,

reI
" "
- - --.

Inner: I
ne ree I
p- ---
I
I
I
.. _- --
Limit One coupon per Customer per. visit.
Free admission to EscANDALOr Friday & Saturday for Diners!
continued
(who is currently starring on Broadway in '1\ngels in
America"), said "Well, I'm sure he would have
thanked me."
With his long hair flip and frilly Victorian
shirt, the lank.ry Reggie Ray resembled a black Twiggy.
Ray won for Outstanding Costume Design for his
stunning work on Studio Theatre's "Spunk."
Playwright icky Silver, whose "Free Will and
Wanton Lust" nabbed the Charles MacArthur Award
for Outstanding New Play, stole the evening with a
series of sarcastically glib, uproarious remarks.
"I was so very moved by the opening slide
montage tour of the District," he said, referring to the
show's lovely if mundane opening multimedia pre-
sentation. In acknowledging fellow "Free Will"
nominees Jason Kravitz and Naomi Jacobson, both
of whom had lost earlier in the evening, the outspo-
ken Silver did not mince words.
'Td like to thank Jason Kravitz, who was
screwed tonight... and aomi Jacobson, who was
also screwed," he said.
The giddy Silver made such a favorable im-
pression on the audience that Mistress of Ceremonies,
the chronically-ebullient Pat Carroll chuckled ''1 wish
I had that kid's act."
And speaking of Carroll, the actress took
home yet another award (her third), for her bracing
portrayal of the title role in Michael Kahn's produc-
tion of Bertolt Brecht's "Mother Courage and her
Children." (Kahn won for Outstanding director.)

This is the third time the three-time nominee has won


for .ler work leading us to wonder if theatres seek-
j J a Helen Hayes for their lobby case ought not hire
Ms. Carroll away from The Shakespeare Theatre.
POLLY
on the virulently homo- t-3
pholXHanaxXAmend-
ment which would ><
HRCF's unwillingness to
,
criticize party members
when they vote incorrectly
on gay-specific matters.
Whatever the reason,
have prohibited federal
money from being spent
to "promote" homosexual-
ity to high school students.
King bent over backwards to
avoid lambasting Kennedy.
Maybe HRCF's role as a
front group for Democrats
is the reason why it won't
.
take Kennedy to task for his
vote is inexcusable, espe-
cially in light of the fact that
the Christian Coalition
praised Kennedy for his
vote! The "champagne fund"
and its spokesman should
sober up and realize their
top priority is to promote a
gay agenda first and Demo-
cratic Party interests sec-
ond. Otherwise, we can ex-
peet Kennedy to cast addi-
tional anti-gay votes in the
future. t}
s w E N
TO ERR IS HUMAN
In our mad flurry to get our first
edition out last week, we made a
few mistakes-not the least of
which was getting our phone
number wrong on the masthead.
These things happen, okay? The
CORRECT number is:
202-347-7640.
In our ews of the Queer article
regarding Spring to Life, we
incorrectly reported that the
inaugural event brought in
$500,000 in funds. STL co-chair
David Franco politely pointed out
that we were off by about a
quarter million dollars. The
correct estimate r:tised at last year's
extravaganza was approximately
$250,000. We regret the error.



In memoriam of our founder, Cgecil Ray 1)e Loach
The
Medical
Escrow
You submit only one application.
We have seven exclusive benefactor groups.
We process any size policy.
Our plans allow you to keep your health
insurance and disablity income.
We are the largest and oldest advocate for
the insured. .

18004221314
get personal attention. A principal of
the company is available 24 hours a day to
discuss your needs.
WEEK OF MAY 1 2 - 1 9
H o r o s c
ope
by Crystal Ball
MARCH 21
- APRIL 19
ARIES - Your abilitytostart projects
in a grand way will be used quite
successfully in the coming days. To
get the best results from your natu-
ral executive ability, you should
have a good work plan that every-
one connected to the project un-
derstands completely.
SEPT. 23
- OCT. 22
LIBRA - Business conflicts are tak-
ing up too much of your time and
you need to rise above it all and get
your work done. There are prob-
ably too many cooks in the kitchen
and it would be better ifyou stayed
in the pantry and organized the
shelves for inventory!
CAPRICORN - Your friends are
becoming the cornerstone for ad-
vancement and respect. It's time to
dust off those old dreams of yours
and realize that they are possible to
attain again. Test the waters in com-
fortable surroundings before you
take the high dive.
AQUARIUS - You are about to
enter a very good period when you
don't have to take life so seriously.
Don't brood and be concerned
about the future for a while. 1iyto
enjoy the present to the fullest and
take advantage of what you have
worked so hard for.
SCORPIO - Expressingyour desires
to a new love will break the ice and
start a flood of emotions that will
be hard to control. If you expect
too much, too early and too soon
you won't be able to receive honest
communication from your poten-
tial partner.
SAGITTARIUS - Advancement in
your career is making it difficult to
separate your personal and business
lives. Avoid overexposure and keep
quiet about what goes on in your
office. A slip of the tongue can be-
come front page news ifyou aren't
careful.
JAN 20-
FEB. 18
NOV.22 -
DEC. 21
OCT. 23-
NOV. 21
DEC. 22-
AN 19
TAURUS - The tides are bringing
changes that offer hope for a
brighter future. You should actively
pursue broader honwns that might
lead to success but be prepared to
leave behind those who don't share
your dreams. A shon trip can be
revitalizing.
GEMINI - Learn better ways to take
care ofyourself. Inner conflicts arise
and upset your system. The need
for a creative outlet is strong and
should be pursued until you find
the proper outlet. Don't let other
people's plans get in the wayofyour
peace ofmind.
CANCER - The next few days will
offer you different circumstances
whichwill be in your favor. Be aware
of time limitations and don't plan
on too many activities that involve
unsolicited work. There is no need
to overwork yourself if you don't
have to.
LEO - You'll make it through a bar-
rier that has been standing in your
way and be able to do some ofyour
best work. Your finances should
improve when you are able to fin-
ish a project that you have been
putting off. Stop procrastinating
and finish it.
MAY 21 -
JUNE 20
APRIL 20
- MAY 20
jUNE21-
JULY 22
JULY 23
-AUG. 22
PISCES - Strange circumstances will
alter the course ofa friendship and
affect your love relationship. Don't
make any big changes in your social
life right away and don't burn your
bridges. Keep an open mind because
you will probably change your
mind next week.
FEB. 19-
MARCH 20
VIRGO - Refuse to allow anyone
to take advantage ofyou. Especially
a Pisces or Libra. Someone is keep-
ing vital information from you that
you need to make the right career
move. Don't take anything at it's
face value and don't let anyone take
you for granted.
AUG. 23-
SEPT. 22
"You place it in your lap so it
can absorb your spills,
dummy!"
After an unsuccessful dinner,
my mother explained to me
that she could only make out
the word napkin on the box of
Kotex (the box belonged to my
sister). She said she thought
they were a little bulky to be
regular napkins but decided
that they must be some sort of
super absorbent brand or
something. Diva what can I
do? She refuses to get her eyes
checked and I'm afraid to leave
her by herself.
-Not Seeing Eye to Eye
Dear Diva,
your letter. It's such a waste of
time that Diva gave her
personal mailman and garbage
man a substaritial raise just to
make up for the energy they
wasted delivering it and
throwing it out.
Poor, misguided strange
one, next time you have a
dollar and thirty cents to spare,
try shopping for a life-you
need that much more than
eggs.
Dear Diva,
Last week, I went to the
supermarket to get a dozen
large eggs and they were only
$1.29. This week I went to the
same store to get the same type
of eggs and the clerk tried to
charge me $1.30. Well, I was
livid. I asked to speak to the
manager on duty and was told
by him that the eggs last week
were mispriced. Diva I don't
buy that excuse one bit. I
wasn't born yesterday. I know
when the wool is being pulled
over my eyes. So I told him
that he and his store had
committed a gross injustice to
the consumers and, on behalf
of all their customers, I would
never shop in their establish-
ment again. Wouldn't you do
the same, Diva?
DearPOed,
Oh, your poor, sweet
mother. Diva remembers when
her mother went through a
similar crises. It was right
before Diva decided to place
her at Shadey Bitch ursing
My poor mother is going Home. (Back then, it was
blind and refuses to admit it. called Shadey Birch but some
She's doing things that really graffiti artist placed a 't' where
embarrass me because she can't the 'r' was and its been the
see what she's doing. Last same ever since-but that's
month while my mother was neither here nor there.) You
staying wi.th me I invited my are justified in being afraid to
best friends, some of whom are leave mommy dearest to her
-.Pissed Off lesbian (Pm a gay man), to my own devices. Believe me there's
house for a dinner party. Well, no telling how much havoc a
my mother insisted that she blind mother can unleash.
help so I asked her to set the If your unfortunate dinner
Sweetheart, your letter puts table and not to forget to have incident didn't convince her to
the U in MUNDANE and the napkins placed on each plate. see an eye doctor, then honey,
S in ridiculous. Honey, don't Oh, she placed napkins on each you'll just have to drag her
you have a life or are you some plate all right... feminine kicking and screaming against
overaged houseboy who's gone napkins. It wasn't until after her will. While this may sound
senile? Of all the many years the guests were seated at the horrendous, consider it tough
Diva has been dispensing her table that I came out of the love on your part. After all, it's
wisdom to the broken hearted' kitchen to discover my her well-being and safety we
and those with serious con- mother's unintended faux pas. are talking about. And remem-
cerns she has never received When one guest s ~ why a ber, if all else fails there's
such a paltry pile of petty feminine napkin was on her always a vacancy at Shadey
words as those contained in plate my mother shouted, Bitch nursing home.
Address your questions or matters of ooncem to Diva clo MW, 724 9th Street, N.W. Suite 429, Washington, DC 20001. Or FAX
your message to 202-347-7811. Opinions expressed are Diva's and do not necessarily reflect those of Metro Arts & Entertainmen
Weekly. Letters are subject to editing.
~
docks along the Thames." Sholmes ran his hand
along one ofthe feathered walls, and then care-
fully smelled his palm. ''Yes! That's it precisely!"
"That's what?" I demanded, having no idea
whatsoever what my companion's powers of
deduction and observation had revealed to him.
"Don't you see, Witless?" declared Sholmes
excitedly. "We've stumbled upon not only the
lair ofour fiendish culprit, but one of the most
sophisticated smuggling operations ever de-
vised in the history of the British Empire."
"You're not speaking of the
Rangoon Conspiracy?" inter-
jected Latreen.
"Aye! Indeed I am, Inspec-
tor."
"Well I'll be flogged!" re-
torted Latreen. "The Yard's been
working on that case ever since I
was walking a beat."
''Latreen, there's not a mo-
ment to lose! Go downstairs and
summon as many of your men
you can muster up!" Sholmes re-
moved a small piece of paper
from his pocket and examined it
carefully. "What time is it, Wit-
less?"
"A few minutes past three."
"Excellent! There's still time.
According to my notes, the HMS
Ambergris is due to set sail on
the tide... less than two hours
from no\. Take your men and-
at all costs stop that vessel from
sailing. Once you've accom-
plished that, round up another dozen or so men
and meet Doctor Witless and me back here."
"With pleasure, Mr. Sholmes." Latreen did a
quick about face and ran down the wooden
stairs as swiftly as his ponderous body would
allovv, s outing jubilantly: "Oh! This will be
quite a feather in my cap when the Inspector
M:V
"We've stum-
bled upon not
only the lair
of our fiend-

ish culprit."
declared
Sholmes ...
but one of
themost
sophistica ted
smuggling

operatl0ns
ever devised!"
A Stu3;9 in Laven3elJ Part X:
The Conclusion
by
Sir Mark Jason Schroeder
The Adventures of
e oc
he second floor ofthe Chyken
Coop Emporium provided a
striking contrast to the dingy,
foul-smelling public room be-
lo\. As Sholmes, Latreen and
I reached the top of the stair-
case, we were all momentarily taken aback by
the complexity of the engineer-
ing that went into the construc-
tion of the labyrinthine architec-
ture that lay before us. Long cor-
ridors of which there were no
less than eight spidered out in
all directions, each lit by a series
of gas lamps placed at regular in-
tervals along the richly colored
walls covered, almost entirely,
with lavender feathers.
"Why this is amazing!" I de-
clared, barely able to comprehend
the immensity of the floor plan.
"How can this be? The u i l ~
simply didn't look this large from
the outside."
"It's not," replied Sholmes
without an instant's hesitation.
"Notice how each hallway slopes
downward and curves out of
sight. It's myguess that these cor-
ridors connect to other adjacent
buildings via underground tun-
nels, ultimately terminating
somewhere in the maze of alleyways across the
street, where the constable lost track ofthe flee-
ing Mr. Wilkins."
"What do you make of it? What is the pur-
pose of all this?" inquired Latreen, scratching
his balding pate.
"And those alleyways no doubt lead to the
General learns that I have solved the most baf-
,
fling case in the history of the Yard! I'll be up
for a promotion, for sure!"
Sholmes looked at me knowingly as the In-
spector disappeared from view, and whispered,
"That idiot couldn't detect a fart in a paper
handbag... but that's not important now. We
must find Paul."
I looked around to catch my bearings, still
amazed and confounded by the vast number
ofrooms and parlours that communicated with
the mind-boggling hallways. "Where do we be-
gin, Sholmes? He _
could be in any of
the rooms. It'll take
us the rest of the
night to search each
one. By then it
could be too..."
"Don't distress
yourself, my dear
Doctor," said
Sholmes confi-
dently. He then po-
sitioned himself
with his arms ex-
tended in the cen-
ter of the hub from
which all the corri-
dors appeared to
originate. "In addi-
tion to all my other
formidable powers, ,.
I am also a human .' .
compass. Observe." ;.,
I watched in to- ,
tal disbelief as
Sholmes began to spin around on one leg, gath-
ering greater and greater dizzying momentum,
until his slender form looked like little more
than a blurred image caught up in some sort of
cyclonic Maelstrom.
After several moments of this super-human
feat, the likes ofwhich defied not only all laws
of human anatomy and physiology, but grav-
ity as well; he came to an abrupt stop, poised
and fully alert with but one arm extended, like
a Brittany spaniel on the point.
"Good God, Sholmes! Are you all rIght?"
He looked at me as if my question were an
I ~
insult to his performance. "Of course I'm all
right, Witless! Haven't I told you that when it
comes to Paul, he and I are attracted to each
other as a compass needle is to due north? ~
let us waste not another moment. Follow me!"
The corridor we trespassed was thickly car-
peted in a brightly colored pink hued fabric of
extraordinary beauty. I had seen similarly con-
structed carpets in only one other part of the
world-Afghanistan. "This whole excursion
has been positively amazing, Sholmes. Each
moment that I am in your company, I take fur-
ther and further
leave ofmysenses.
At this rate, by
dawn, I fear I shall
have 10 t my mind
completely, and
fall within the
ranks of Latreen."
Sholmes snick-
ered playfully at
my comment, re-
marking that he
didn't believe such
erosion of the in-
tellect was even
within the realmof
possi bili ty. He
then paused in
front of one of the
doors and an-
nounced: "This is
it, Witless. Paul
awaits beyond the
threshold."
~ you say. But
seeing is believing."
The door to the parlour was unlocked, and
we entered cautiously.
Unlike the hallway, the lighting in this large
circular chamber was austere and subdued, il-
luminated only by a singular lamp which hung
pendulously from the center of the room, and
beneath which was situated a table, not unlike
those seen in operating theatres. Around the
periphery of the room were arranged chairs of
varying description, some appeared to be com-
fortably padded with fme upholstery, others
were stark and purely functional in design.
I could have lasted in that thing," gasped the
terrilled boy.
"Who did this to you, Paul?" queried
Sholmes, his eyes, even in the darkness of the
room, glared like beacons.
"Mr. WI.1k.ins. He took me up here and was
about to cut me to pieces; he was...just a few
minutes ago. But I guess he heard you and the
Doctor talking downstairs and made off
thtough that door." Paul pointed to a small pas-
sageway on the far side of, the wall. "He had
me on the table, stripped me of all me clothes,
shackled me with this leather restrainer, cov-
ered me with these feathers...Oh, it was awful,
Mr. Sholmes..."
"Calm down, lad," I said, at-
tempting to inspire confIdence in
the quaking form before me.
"Mr. Sholmes and I will have ev-
erything under conttol. .. won't
i n we, Sholmes?"
"Indeed we shall, Witless."
. Then, turning his attention back
to Paul, Sholmes asked," Will you
be able to lead the way?"
"Yes, I think I can do that, but
I don't have any clothes...rm as
naked as a jaybird."
And indeed he was. Paul,
without a stitch of clothes to
cover his ivory-colored fraple, sat
before us, fully erect.
Paul gazed down at himself
and commented with an embar-
rassed charm that only adoles-
cents can express, "But what
about this? It won't go away, even
with all rve been through."
"Don't you worry about that," said Sholmes
understandingly, "we'll take care of that back
at Baker Street. Right now we've got a mur- .
derer to apprehend. Just lead the way, and leave
the rest to Doctor Witless and myself."
Paul rose to his feet; it amazed me how rap-
idly he had managed to recover from his gruel-
ing episode. A man my age most likely would
have required the services of a team of physi-
cians to muster the energy this remarkable
young man exhibited as he led way through
the entanglement of corridors leading down-
t-XV
Paul's body
was bound
rigidly
some sort of
loathsome
apparatus
fashioned
from thick
1eather and
covered
in lavender
feathers
"Hmm...if I did not know better," said I,
"one would think we had just entered a sur-
gery."
"Not to be fooled, Witless. This is no
surgery. .. at least not of the type with which you
are familiar. My guess is that we have happened
upon the sanetv of a diabolical cult
of devil worshippers. Observe, Witless," re-
marked Sholmes as he struck a match and
walked farther into the room, "this is not a table
where the ills of the infIrm are excised, but an
altar where the bodies of young men are dis-
sected and offered up as a sacrifIce to the pow-
ers of darkness."
As I approached my companion, there came
from a netherpart of the room a
forlorn and mournful groan. With
the quickness of a bolt of light-
ning, Sholmes fell to his knees,
and striking another match with
which to better explore, discov-
ered almost immediately a large
cocoon-shaped object making its
way cumbersomely across the far
reaches of this chamber of hor-
rors.
"Come quickly, Witless," cried
Sholmes. "Your professional assis-
tance is once again required!"
I ran to my companion's side
and was horrifIed by what lay be-
fore us. Paul's tender young body
was all but paralyzed, bound rig-
idly in some sort of loathsome
apparatus fashioned from thick
leather and covered with an array
oflavender feathers. Only a shock .
of his red hair could be seen --.
emerging from the confmes of his prison, and
a small orillce, cut into the front of the gro-
tesque mask which held his head immobile,
allowed for any chance of breath.
Cutting frantically through the ungodly con-
traption that threatened our young friend's very
existence with the pocket knife, which I always
carried in my coat pocket, I managed, in short
order, to liberate Paul from his imminent ap-
pointment with death.
"Doctor Witless! Mr. Sholmes! Thank God
you found me! I don't know howmuch longer

interests, Paul, are not in pi-


geons. He uses therp only
as a subterfuge for his true
longings. But he's a clever
man, and for that I must ex-
tend him some degree of
credit. o ~ howmuch far-
ther before we arrive at his
private domain?"
"It's that door over
there," said Paul.
"Are you sure?" asked I,
still unwilling to accept that
the boy had full use of his
faculties.
"Oh, Pmquite sure, Doc-
tor Witless. No mistaking
about it, it's the only door
that's painted green. I re-
member that clearly."
Upon reaching the ap-
pointed door, Sholmes,
without an instant's hesita-
tion and with a display of
strength beyond all human
understanding, barged
through the blockade, only
to find that Constable
Smythe, one of Latreen's less intelligent lack-
eys, had serendipitously happened upon
Wtlkins, and was in the process ofarresting him
on an outstanding warrant for cruelty to ani-
mals. Evidently, some of the neighbors, who
themselves were pigeon lovers, had called the
Yard and had prompted an investigation lead-
ing to the rogue's arrest.
At the sight of the- perplexing-but not un-
satisfying solution to what would become one
of Sholmes' most remarkable cases; he could
not deprive himself of a hardy laugh.
When fmally Sholmes, Paul and I returned
to Baker Street, it was nearly ten o'clock the
next morning. I had not slept in nearly twenty-
four hours, but in spite of my extreme state of
exhaustion, there were some puzzling aspects
of the case which I simply had to get clear in

wards to where Paul professed we would fInd


our villain.
"He had me down here most ofthe evening,"
said Paul as we walked through the seemingly
endless, non-descript corridors. "At fIrst I was
taken to a type of laboratory and given some
kind ~ drug that would put me to sleep... but
it didn't. I guess the stuff I messed with earlier
this afternoon in your rooms, Mr. Sholmes, had
some kind of affect on me that made me im-
mune. I was able to keep accurate mental notes
as to where I was being taken, and it shouldn't
take us long to get where we need to go. I think
WJ1kins will still be there. He's a real strange
man. Loves pigeons, though. Must Qave half a
million of 'em in his laboratory. Don't know
why he wants them all, all they do is squawk
and make a mess all over everything. The place
smells real bad, too. Like a henhouse in mid
July."
"Our friend Mr. Wilkins," explained
Sholmes, "is a very unusual sort of man. His
M'I
my mind. So, as the three of us sat around the ''A..!}!" interjected Sholmes. ''Now there's
small breakfast table devouring a delightful re- something I am curious about. Just howmuch,
past ofpoached eggs and kippered frog's legs- on the average, did Mr. Wtlkins' clients spend
a delicacy Mrs. Huggnuts took great delight in in an evening?"
preparing--5holmes enlightened both Paul and "Depended on what they were looking to
myself with the following brief dissertation. do, Mr. Sholmes... anywhere from a few shil-
''In addition to the nefarious Mr. Wtlkins' lings to several hundred pounds," answered
pathological and salacious desire for boy meat, Paul. "But if you want to know the truth of
he was also heavily involved in the illicit im- the matter..."
port of rare tropical birds from all corners of "Yes," encouraged Sholmes, "go on."
the world. Ofparticular fascination to him is a 'Td be willing to pay a tidy fee ifonly some-
species of pigeon whiep thrives abundantly in one would relieve me of this growing prob-
Madagascar and Rangoon. A genus of bird, as lem," confessed Paul, indicating his anatomi-
it turns out, that secretes a natural purplish dye cal curiosity.
from its plumage, a dye that when mixed with "Well then!" declared Sholmes, jumping to
common vinegar and salt acts not only as a . his feet. "I have just the solution, and it won't
preservative, but a powerful aphrodisiac. Quite cost you a farthing."
by accident, Wilkins discovered that tremen- "Oh? And what might theit be?" inquired the
dous profits could be derived by providing his lad, allowing an enticing smile to brighten up
parlor house clients with large dosages of this his already cherubic face.
marvelous substance by immersing fowl eggs Sholmes indicated that we should both fol-
in it, and offering them free of charge as a lowhim to the bed chamber. ''It's a quaint little
snack." game I learned in my childhood. It was taught
"What an extraordinarily clever marketing to me by my brother Mycrosoft and one of his
concept," I remarked. "The more pickled prod- friends .. .it's called 'Sandwich,' and is very easy
ucts his perverted customers consumed, the to learn."
greater their need for his boys' services. A posi- ''Intriguing. How does it work?" asked I.
tively inspired idea, I must admit." . "FIrst we take our places in bed. Witless, you
'%1d you can take it from me," added Paul, and I are the pieces of bread, and Paul is the
whose own perpendicular appendage remained meat-in this case chicken. And as far as the
as rigid as a mast pole, "that his profits were rules go, well, they're somewhat...shall we say,
quite substantial." elementary, my dear Witless... elementa.ry."

Henry James Reginald Thurgood Marshal Wilkins (aka The Zipper) was,
of course, charged with far more serious crimes than cruelty to animals, in-
cluding, in diminishing order: First degree murder (four counts), false im-
prisonment (eight counts), conspiracy to traffic ip stolen goods (1,003 counts),
and buggery (6,753,002 counts). .
He waS sentenced to eight hundred and six years in the Marshalsea prison
for crimes against humanity. And upon completion of that sentence, will be
remanded to the government of Singapore where he will face 9,011 lashes
with an antiseptically soaked bamboo cane.

Life-threatening plagues. Duet-singing butts. Achorus line of naked


men singing in agay bathhouse. Victorian explorer Sir Richard Burton
on a search for IIpatient zero,1I the mythical gay man accused of
transporting the plague to North America. These are not things one
typically associates with amovie musical.
Then again, there's nothing typical about Canadian filmmaker John
Greyson's astonishing new film, IIZero Patience," which will have its
Washington Premiere next Thursday, May 19, at 7:00 p.m. in a
benefit for One-in-Ten and Brother, Help Thyself.
Funny, intelligent and deeply moving, IIZero Patience
ll
is no mere
piece of art-house schlock, but a motion picture as wry, intelligent
and entertaining as the man behind it. Interview by Randy Shulman
Metro Weekly: So you've made a movie
musical about AIDS. How did it come
about?
John Greyson: It all began in 1987 with the
publication of Randy Shilts' "And the Band
Played On." There was...an excerpt published
in California Magazine, that...dealt exclusively
with the "patient zero" myth. What became
interesting to me was why the mass media
exclusively. ..focused on this mythology about
a [French Canadian] airline attendant accused
ofbringing AIDS to North America. I think.. .it
had to do with what we'd already seen a lot of
in the epidemic: finger pointing and
scapegoating. Society seemed more interested
in assigning blame than doing anything pro-
ductive to fmd a cure, or help those with AIDS.
It's ridiculous, because there's no rational
way to assign blame to a virus.
It's interesting because we're not gonna fmd a
cure until we fmd a cause. But the search for
the cause isn't the problemper se. The problem
is [that] the search for the cause is fueled by all
sorts of ideological baggage, including me ex-
treme homophobia we've been living with
through the AIDS epidemic-the extreme rac-
ism, the extreme bigotry, the creating of a new
pariah caste in society of junkies and homos
and Mricans. And so this subject matter...
emerged as the thing I wanted to address.
I understand all that, but what I'm really
interested in is why exactly a musical?
The other trigger was the formation of ACT
UP and a new style of AIDS politics, which
wasn't polite. Like so many people, I was very
much swept up in the early activism. It seemed
that fighting back was a real way to reclaim
some of what we'd lost and a way to turn the
. MV
tide in the epidemic. One of the things that
really characterized ACT UP was a new sense
ofhow to do politics that included wit, humor,
style and media smarts. What better way to pay
tribute than make ~ S The Musical"?
Were you ever a member of ACT UP?
AIDS Action ow, which is the equivalent
group here in Canada.
It's intriguing hpwyou treat activists in the
film. We're not really sure how to respond
to them until the very end, when things sud-
denly turn celebratory.
One of the things I wanted to do was write the
movie from within the movement... and deal
with some of the dilemmas activists face. Not
simply do propaganda for the movement, but
explore some of the hard, painful issues. For
instance, what does it feel like to be demon-
strating publicly outside a multinational phar-
maceutical [corporation] one day, and then go
home and take your pills? What does it mean
to speak with certainty about this treatment
drug, but at the end ofthe day, have real doubts
about whether it is helping or hindering you?
You deal with that issue in the character of
George, who goes blind from CMV [cytome-
gatOTlirzl-s retinitis]. It balances the film's
lighter moments by lending depth and poi-

goancy.

You know, one of the interesting responses bt-


fore people see the film is "How can you pos-
siblydo a musical about AIDS? Howtasteless!"
I
That's because the popular notion of musicals
is that they're the fluffiest genre possible, [that]
they have no content, no depth, no emotions.
In fact, you look back to the history of musi-
cals and you actually see quite a politicized tra-
I
I wanted to
address tough
personal'issues,
likeanalsex
for gay men
intheageof
that, if you
AIDS, a subject
istic dialogue,
I thought the se-
quence was very
funny, very taste-
fully done, and a
visual kick. You
want to have a
memorable vi-
sual punch that
people walk away
with remember-
ing. And I didn't
feel it was all that
shocking, since
they were essen-
tially puppets.
It's the Bert and
Ernie version of
anal sex.
and aunts and uncles-people who would never
talk about the subject of anal sex. By getting
people laughing, you build a bridge, opening
the doors for some sort of dialogue. Because,
,
at the end of the day, this epidemic is all about
anal sex, all about our personal fears and
society's fears.
(continued on page 32)

Itirthefirsttime write naturai-


I have seen a film
,
credit for a
"butthole puppe-
teer." That's not
likely to crop up tends to be dry
otten, next to
gaffer, is it?
Frankly, I was impressed with the musical
numbers overall. The song "Six or Seven
Things" is absolutely extraordinary. I hope
there's a soundtrack album coming out. I'd
like to buy it.

[Laughs. ] A playful little number, appealing to


the family audience.
Throughout the fIlm, I wanted to address not
only tough political issues, but also tough per-
sonal issues-like anal sex for gay men in the
age of AIDS, like a critique of empiricism and
scientiflc certainty. [These are] subjects that, if
you write naturalistic dialogue, tend to be
ther dry or dull. So the strategy was to take
subject matter that doesn't fIt in our notion of
an entertaining movie and, by setting it to
music, get people thinking about the issues.
Especially an audience [who], when it comes
to anal sex, doesn't really want to talk about
it).
You're forcing us to face our own lives.
?
I admit that I initially approached the film
a little trepidatiously, but as things went on,
I was seduced by it, getting caught up in
the playfulness of the musical numbers.
What really springs to mind are the singing
assholes.
dition. The most obvious is "Cabaret," but
there are other musicals like "Hair" and "Fid-
dler on the Roof" that... [use] the form not only
to give pleasure and spectacle but also to ex-
plore loss, grief, sadness, doubt, etc. So [com-
poser]. Glenn Schellenberg and I [took] this
very discredited, empty, fluffy genre and filled
it up again with very urgent contemporary
politics.
Where in God's name did youcome up with
that idea?
"Zero Patience" was, right from the start, a illm
intended to be by and for the AIDS commu-
nity-and that includes everyone who's living
with the disease. It also includes moms and dads
J

ANZ
'AVA
COME OUT AND PARTY TO THE MAX!
Saturday, May 21
Come meet the members of
BLACK AND WHITE MEN
TOGETHER (BWMT)
6 to 9pm
Food, Decorations, Dancing
r---------.
SATURDAY, MAY 14
NO COVER!
Complimentary Champagne
t 11 m, Midni ht, and 1am
$1.75 Rail Drinks
J
. uvres

rom 8p '.. "
JDave - starts at 4pm
BACK - starts at 6pm
wI DJ Percy - starts at 7pm
FRIDAt May 13
Door proce .....
,
BLAC '. ,:.

"1'
.. .
, , )l;
~ l l ' NI'
I .j :
.. ,
: 11'
,
,
!; l

,
\
. 11 :Ij
'I' .' ; " , . .
,
.: , ,
\ ',\,
\ '
1735 Maryland Ave" Baltimore, MD 410.539,6965 &1.800.863.6965
B a 1 t

1 ill o r e D

1 s h
by aorni d'Plume
EXTRAl EXTRAl LOCAL CLUB GETS A
MASTECTOMYl.... We hear tell a certain local
establishment that recently went bisexual in an
attempt to attract business, has reconsidered, and
will once again become a full-fledged homo-ha-
ven. Yes, that's right, everyone, the Custom
House will be divesting, (or should we say de-
breasting?) itselfofthe female element in an ef-
fort to return the club to its original format. We
here at the mag wish Joe and Tom the best of
luck in turning things around. As for Miss
Amanda, we wish her luck in any and all ofher
future ventures.
THE LADY VANiSHES.... The mystery has
been solved concerning the disappearance of
Central Station manager Steve Martin. It
seems Steve has relocated back to Northern Vir-
ginia. The only thing is that he neglected to tell
some very important people: his landlord, his
employer, his pet tarantula, his bookie, his Uncle
Martin, his Aunt Bessie, the dirty underwear he
left at the laundromat. ...
HUNK ALERT!. ... Those hunky mucho
gorgeoso Men of Adonis will grace the stage,
or is it bar, ofClub Adantis this Saturday, May
14th. It might be interesting to see who will ac-
companythemto the bar!
EVE'S DROPPiNGS.... Eve was awakened,
after having one too manySingapore Stings (you
know that drink, it's like a ingapore Sling, only
after three, you don't give a damn if they spray
paint your face, lock you up in Jail, or bullwhip
your butt). Eve heard the following tid-bits while
our imbibing: 1) Who's boyfriendwas wander-
ingaimlesslyalong the side ofthe road and had to
retrieved?... 2) Is yet another bar, off the
.beaten path, on the market?... 3) Who threat-
ened to boycott the recently canceled "Queen
ofPride" pageant, because she was not asked to
be involved? Inquiring minds want to know!
WHERE THE BOYS ARE.... Take a drive up
the country this Sunday, May 15th, to witness
the first Mr. Frederick Contest. The bar host-
ing and sponsoring the event is none other than
Maryland's newest alternative nite Spot...Talons!
The show will be hosted by none other than
Miss Tia Chambers. We expectorate a good
time will be had by all.
CONFIDENTIALTO RiCK.... We don't know
what you were thinking, but we unanimously dis-
approve ofthe color ch'!Oge to your hair. When
it comes to hair color we agree with the old ad-
age: "To thine own self be true," After all, halfof
Baltimore already knows your natural color (as
do their dentists).
NAME THAT TUNE.... Who's theme song is
nowgoing to be "And I Am Telling You... Pm
otGoing!"
WE'RE WARM FOR YOUR FORM.... This
week's coveted WWFYF Award goes to a
gentleman named Cory, who we met at the Stud
this past weekend. He was so hot, he could give
a dog a bone! So what's the story, Cory, you up
for a night ofpain and glory?

WE THINK WE'RE GOING TO HURL....


Who was the queen who recently showed up
wearing this blonde wig that looked like she bor-
rowed it from Garth on ''Wayne's World?" The
damned thing looked like she did it with a weed
whacker. One can onlyguess that she drives one
ofthose cheap foreign imports-the ones without
the vanitymirrors.
IT'S SHOWTIME AT THE HiPPO.... Drag
yourself our of the house this Sunday night,
and see Dena's Fantasy Cabaret at the Hippo.
Showtime, as usual, is 10:00 pm..
FIRST ANNIVERSARIES ALWAYS MAKE
US CRy.... AVery Happy First Anniversary to
P.T. MAX, who will celebrate all weekend long.
Be sure and stop down and see the crew, be-
causejust like at the burger joint, theydo it all for
you!
M A IN
F" E 1

EVENT
c P R I N
WASHIN,GTCN1S

BY DAVID 01 ZSADIN
L to R: STL Co-chair David von
Ston::h, Mapplethorpe Laboratorydi-
rector Jerome E. Groopman, M.D.,
and visiting committee chair Ron
Ansin.

I
\
crowd
down to
floor with
Janet
Jackson,
John Niederhauser gradually picked up the
intensity by adding pumping strobes, and
eventually the rafters of lights broke through
the gauze
and
coursed
down
towards the
crowd.
By
11:30,
Mark
'Thrbox
drew the
,

and by 12: 15 his disco-ish


sets had the floor packed.
A lot of revelers got into
the spirit of the evening
by wearing flowers,
including one fellow
who lined his yellow
jeans with daisies.
.. R""n Overall, the word
paul t+fa.... .,-
ntr'buti!'C art\St (we for the night was .
\.. to R: ... and Q,ar\\8 "butch "Muscles muscles (,
."
muscles-from the looks of it, you'd think
there was some sort of minimum pectoral
and/or bicep requirement. A lot of these guys
went with the "Pm man enough to get away
e'd be hard pressed to think of
any other occasion where so
many people were having so
much fun while raising money for AIDS
research. But that was the spirit during the
second annual Spring to Life Weekend.
,
The opening night welcome reception at
the Galleria at Lafayette Centre, produced by
Michael Chaban, went flawlessly. The crowd
enjoyed a sumptuous buffet catered by
Occasions of Capitol Hill and enthralled in
entertainment provided by the always .

amazing "a capellites" BETTY the thunder-


ously funny Judy Gold;tnd the elegant
Maggie Moore.
The following night, despite uncooperative
weather, the local partying brigade came out
en masse. Ifyou haven't partied at the Post
Office Pavilion before, it's a nice, cavernous

space. The Food Court was trans-


I
formed into a very
large dance floor,

the mezzanine level


served as a general
observation deck, and
an upper balcony
functioned as the v.I.P.
,
lounge. The atrium was
decorated with colorful
kites and hot-air balloons
toting baskets of flowers.
The light show initially was a rather small,
but intricate, display of Intellabeams filtered
through a sheet o.f white gauze. Light tech
Couch potato Kevin Aviance and hunks.
-Paul Myatt contributed to this article.
P H 1I 1 (J' ,: R I ( : I i J\ () V [ I N Z I M M I "
the Spring to Life Dance looked like it was
turning out to be more successful than
had anticipated earlier in
the week. As our
associate, Bobby
Serralta, said this was
"Washington's chance to
be 'in the circuit''' and it
certainly seemed like
Spring to Life rose to the
momell as did the gay

commuruty.
More important
was the fact that the revellers were partying
for a cause: The funds raised go to The
Robert Mapplethorpe Laboratory for AIDS
Research, which is doing extraordinary
research into the treatment of AIDS by using
gene therapy.
"The kinds of funds generated here are
tremendously powerful," said Dr. Jerome
Groopman, director of the Mappelthorpe
Lab, "because they're granted immediately.
[Hence], we can apply
them immedi-
ately."
By not being
just another
party, by striving
to help out a
cause, Spring to
Life gains a
significance not
found on any other
party on the major circuit...
It actually has meaning.
with wearing a skirt" look as kilts and short
skirts were everywhere. Andrew Donner
said he was taking the
look "one step
further" with his
Mrican-print mini.
The special, top
secret performer was...
Chane11e who sang
"One Man" and her
hit "Work That Body."
Talk about incendiary
lung power! (We
noticed DJ Darryl Strickland jamming
around to her performance.) Chanelle was a
good choice for a performer, and she made a
point of mentioning her SlJpport for gay and
lesbian causes.
One pre-party concern had been trying to
entice people to come to Washington in a
year that most people are planning to spend
their vacations in New York. Well, it didn't

seem to stop a soul as out-of-


towners were everywhere. One
partier flew in from Oakland,
California, just for the main
event. Our new associate, Ed
Benz came down from
Philadelphia for this and he
didn't even show up for last
year's March on Washing-
ton. Former D.C. native As USlJa/, AlIiSOl) has
BEiTy to be difr.
Richie Britt, came from
New York expresSly for Spring to Life as
we1l, and the fabulous Kevin Aviance was
flown up from Miami. He reported that he
would be performing at the After Life party
later that evening.
Publicity Director Scott Marker said that
We've got a deal with Milan Records; it will be
in stores in a few months.
I enjoyed the song "Pop-A-Boner." Naked
men dancing with towels in a bathhouse is
just not where one normally expects to find
a musical number.
The whole "patient zero myth" was wrapped
up around notions ofgay promiscuity, and the
bathhouses figured so strongly in the early
eighties as a place where... things got fought.
The flip side of an ACT UP meeting is, in fact,
,
the bath houses. I wanted to address that di-
rectly. I wasn't about to tiptoe around the issue
the way some of the mainstream films like
"Philadelphia" did, where you never had a sense
that the main characters were part ofa gaycom-
munity, except during the party scene.
It's interesting you bring up "Philadelphia."
I didn't like the film-purely as a film. I
thought director Jonathan Demme walked
his way through it.
What a talented filmmaker and where was he?

Why didn't he come to the set and frame some


shots? [Laughs.]
Creatively, it was a grave disappointment.
But it can be argued that it i ~ its job in
educating middle America.
"Philadelphia" deserves some credit,' because
nothing could be more important than a film
about... a gay couple living with AIDS being
number one at the box office. That's accom-
plishing a great deal and it is a great achieve-
ment. We've finally reached a point where
straight audiences aren't scared to go into a gay
film, terrified that someone might think they
too are gay. We're going through a turning
point right now in gay culture where people
value it. To be able to make an unapologetic
gay film that's in theatres and is having some
sort of impact is exciting.
A horrible question just occurred to me. Do
you think that the AIDS epidemic can be
,
viewed, in a strange way, as a positive thing
for the gay community by gaining us wider
acceptance within the straight community?
Well, that's not a framework rd use. To ever

speak about AIJ;)S as anything other than an


incredible disaster, does a disservice to all the
people who have died.
Oh God, I'm not saying that. Absolutely
not. What I'm asking is if there's a small
silver lining here in the sense that it has at
least brought us more respect, more com-
passion than we were treated with ten,
twenty years ago?
We'll never have the luxury of knowing what
would have happened if the epidemic hadn't
occurred. But I think looking backover the past
fifteen years of the epidemic, the thing that
strikes me again and again is that there has been
an increase of visibility. You can chart the

progress, absolutely, in terms of public dis-


course, in terms of acceptance on a personal
level, the way workplaces have been trans-
formed. People can be out on the job or in their
living situations.

The flip side has been that AIDS has been


the great mobilizing force of the right wing.
Jesse Helms and all those interchangeabl
assholes have built their power structure on the
back of AIDS. So I think it's been, to q u t ~
Mr. Dickens, the best and worst of times.
Something else I really enjoyed was your
visual style. Pm so tired ofseeing these flat
movies, where they just sit the camera down
and shoot everything for the television
frame. But you have some wonderful sets,
inventive set designs, and terrific way of
framing your images. It's delightful to see
creativity again. But you're working as an
independent. Do you ever fear that the
moment you get into "the Hollywood sys-
tem," you'll be stripped of that?
alization ofAIDS. And the collective grass roots
challenges to how health care is practiced, ini-
tiated in the mid-eighties, are now being left
behind as a new class of professionals come in
and get very well paying jobs to administer
AIDS. But they aren't necessarily that in touch
with what people with AIDS really want. That's
the big fight nov.'.
Zero Patience
was from the
start a film
intended
fortheAIDS
to be by and
including

community
everyone
living with
It's interesting
that you bring
up health care,
because I know
so many people
who have no
health insur-
ance. As far as
I'm concerned I
think socialized
medicine is a
much needed
thing. What are
the ups and
downs of the
system that you
find in your
country?
The upside ofour
health care sys-
tem is that it
guarantees
people a good, the dis e a s e
basic level of
health care and
heath care provi-
sion. And contrary to all the fearmongering
thafs going on in the V.S. press: you can
choose your own doctor at every stage. The
biggest single thing that undermines the deliv-
ery of health care, however, is a value system
built on V.S. technology. You have this incred-
ibly high-tech expense of evasive technology
What effort is the Canadian government
putting towards the AIDS fight?
You bet. What I want to do is stay based here
in Toronto. There's an ability to get projects
funded that are off the beaten track and more

esoteric. For me to turn around and pack my


bags and go to L.A where I have friends who've
been waiting for ten years for that first break,
for their very conventional, very tame project,
well...where's the attraction?
Mixed bag. There's been some very gao<:f stuff
that's happened .over the past five, six years as
a result of activism. And because we're starting
from the base of a health care system, a lot of
the struggles have been within that specific
context: extending the .sort of procedures or
priorities that are given over to other life threat-
ening diseases across the board to people with
AIDS. We're starting from a much better posi-
and we've achieved a fair amount. But it's
a health care system that very much follows the
lead ofthe V around research and
treatment. If a treatment drug hasn't been re-
leased in the States, it's that much harder to
get it released here. But things are getting bet-
ter. There's tons ofwork to do and tons offights
to be fought. But the infrastnictures are in place
to fight them now in a way that didn't exist
five, ten years ago.
My set of concerns-and I think a lot of ac-
tivists share this-is that what's really happen-
ing now is bureaucratization and profession-
,
Ope Mon. - fri. 4pm . 2am an &a1. f 2pm - 2am
:,,--::::...-."-
$1 Bloodies t11 B ffc at 6pm.
MONDAY
$1 Al Do estic Late Beer
!flY
75 WeU Vodka
II !ght

IIappy IIour ALL Night

7 Draf
2218 Boston Street - Ba timore, d. (410) 342 - 8344

REJ:"TTA L
&
SALES
COSTV..2VlES
COSTUlVIES MADE TO ORDER
KS, '\IVIGS, MAKE-UP,
DANC E'\IVEAR
-
BOOKS, SCRIPTS
& POSTERS
ALSO AVAILABLE
PROFESSIOZ"-J"AL STAFF
2-.0-. PST. N.
2

and treatments, which are [surrounded by] big


questions as to whether they hurt more than
they help. I always think of the example of the
mammogram, which has become so ubiquitous
in every doctor's office, a very expensive piece
of machinery that [comprises] a billion dollar
industry. There was this huge, conclusive study
done about five years ago that proved it was a
worse diagnostic tool than self-examination. It's
absolutely useless. But it's ubiquitous because
several companies 9ecided they could make
fortunes off it. For me, that [example] sums
up the problem of a health care policy that is
profit driven, not people driven.
You see it in AIDS, too. Why do treatment
drugs cost so much? There's big questions
about why a person with AIDS has to spend
$10,000 a year on a treatment that is of, at
best, dubious value.
Hopefully one day humankind will over-
come greed and work as a society together.
Wouldn't that be. nice.

That's where films like yours are so vital,


because they educate through entertain-
ment. We come away learning so much
more. And I think anybody who would call
"Zero Patience" tasteless are, quite frankly,
wrong. Certainly, there will be people who
won't like it-that's the way it is with every
art. But I think it's an inspired piece of
work. Incidentally, why did you choose Sir
Richard Burton as your protagonist?

Well, he's a Victorian. And what I wanted the


ijlovie to suggest was that no matter howhigh-
tech our science and medicine is, we're still
. hopelessly stuck in i ~ o r i n notions of sexu-
ality and of disease in the body. And that's
what's wrapped itself around so much of the
AIDS crisis and kept us from really making pro-
gress. I think, too, what interested me about
Burton was, when youget past the he-man mys-
tique, the swashbuckling adventurer mystique,
what you find [was] that he aetualiy failed all
his life. He failed to find the source ofthe Nile,

failed to understand the implications ofhis very


extensive anthropology in Mrica and around
the world, failed to have any sort of decent sex
life, despite his very extensive sexological ex-
plorations into various cultures. And so I
thought what better candidate to fail in the
search for the source of AIDS than Mr. Bur-
ton?
You've made a musical about AIDS and
you're touching, changing, enriching lives

through it. I applaud you. Do you ever get


the feeling that your film is indeed making
a difference?
People come up after screenings and say,
"Thanks, rve been living with AIDS for six
years and stayed away from every AIDS fIlm
and yours is the onlyone that spoke to me about
my life." It's those sort of responses that have
been really meaningful and really exciting. If
there was one audience we wanted to reach the
most, it was the AIDS community. What's in-
teresting is that in general, films about AIDS
have had a very hard time reaching audiences.
It's understandable, the audience most directly
involved doesn't want to plop down $7 and
see their lives reflected. You want to escape from
daily reality, not reemphasize it. Because they've
been so characterized by being tearjerkers,
there's a real resistance to AIDS representations.
We wanted to let people know this was differ-
ent. And what could communicate that more
clearly than a musical about AIDS? People
know it's not gonoa be a melodrama or a fact-
based documentary. It's gonoa be something
new: And hopefully it will shake people out of
a very limiting set of responses to a crisis.

day, May 21, at 7 p.m. at the


Warner Theatre. WRC's Arch
Campbell, the man who has made an
artform out of quotable blurbs, 'calls
it "The event of the season." The
event is sponsored in part by Liz
herself, The White Oak Dance
Project, Donna E. Shalala and the
Whitman-Walker Clinic. Tickets are
$125. For more info, call 202-778-
0571.

Who's afraid of Virginia Woolfl Not


Eileen Atkins. The acclaimed actress,
a co-ereator of the immortal British

series "Upstairs, Downstairs,"


portrays the literary great in her .
award-winning one-woman show, "A
Room of One's Own." The play, at
Arena Stage's Kreeger Theatre
through June 19, is based on two
historic talks given by Woolf at
England's Cambridge University.
(Also, watch for Ms. Atkins to turn
up on the screen later this summer, l
with Jack Nicholson in the potential
blockbuster, "Wolf.") Call 202-488-
3300.
"Hot Mikado," director David Bell's

One-In.::I'en presents the


Washington Premiere of John
Greyson's "Zero Patience,"
a movie musical that deals
with AIDS (see story, page 24). Tbe
Adpocate calls it "a daring cinematic
,gem that deserves to go down in gay
history. This is the fIlm we've been
waiting for!" The New York Times
called it "a ribald comedy, a bouncy
stylistic hybrid crammed with ideas."
And we here at MWjust call it "plain
old extraordinary." The screening will
be held at the Embassy Theatre, on
1927 Florida Ave., at 7 p.m. Tickets
are available at OffGear and Lambda
Rising and cost $25, with proceeds
benefIting' One-In:ren's upcoming fall
gay and lesbian fIlm festival, "Reel
Affirmations 4" and Brother, Help
Thyself, which will a
portion of the proceeds to AIDS
Service Organizations serving the
Washington metro area.
"Friends for Life," a black tie gala
benefItting the Elizabeth Taylor
Medical Center is fast approaching,
,so you'll want to put in your rux
reservations now: The date is Satur-
Come show off your fuzzy-wuzzy
chests. The Fourth Annual Mr.
D.C. Bear and Mr. D.C. Bear Cub
Contest will be held at the D.C.
Eagle, on Saturday, May 14. Con-
testants can regiaster until 11 p.m.
when the contest begins. Sponsored
by the Highwaymen TNT. For more
info, call 202-347-6025.
Gallery founder
Charles Lang Freer.
Through May 30.
Call 202-357-2700.
1940's swingtime adaptation of the
popular Gilben and Sullivan's "Mi-
kado," plays at Ford's Theatre
through June 26 and, if ticket sales
continue to be brisk, perhaps beyond.
The cast includes Lawrence
Hamilton, Ross Lehman, and
Loretta Devine (who originated the
role of Lorrell in the Broadway
production of "Dreamgirls"), and
Washington's own vocal dynamo,
Robin Baxter. With muSical direction
by Rob Bowman, sets by Daniel
Proett and costumes by Jess
Goldstein. Call 202-347-4833.

E Scott Black's Towson Dinner


Theatre presents a NEW musical
production of "The Phantom of the
Opera, with libretto by Michael
Tilford and music and lyrics by Tom
Alonso. With Braxton Peters as the
Phantom. No word on who's playing
the chandelier. Through June 19. Call
410-321-6595.

just in time for spring, a new exhibit


at the Freer Gallery of Art, at 12th
and Independence Ave., "explores the
popular bird and flower genre of
traditional Chinese painting." One
highlight is "Herons and Water
Plants," a Ming Dynasty hanging
scroll purchased 100 years ago by
Fasten those skates: D.C. Sports
continues with weekly rollerskating
every Monday; 8 to 10:30 p.m., at
Seabrook Whee1-A-While in
. Lanham, Md. Members: $4 and non-
members: $5. Call 301-916-6754
for info. Meanwhile, the Gay and
Lesbian Skaters and Rollerbladers
of Baltimore convene every Wed.
night at Orchard Skate1and, 7: 30 to
10:30 p.m. Admission $5 (does not
include skate rental fee of $1.25).
Call 410-825-3013.
OtJ-t on the TOwn is a highly
arbitrary listing of events for the D.C';
Baltimore area. Announcements and
events to be co'midered for inclusion in
this section should be to Ot/.t On
The TOwn) c/o 724 Ninth
Suite D.C. 20001.
SERVICES DIRECTORY
MINA J. KETCHIE
attorney at law
Criminal, DWI, Wills, Trusts,
Alternative Families, Personal Injury,
Civil, Corporate, Small Business Matters
Please call for free consultation
703 - 276 - 4820
ADVERTISE IN
THIS SPACE
FOR AS LOW AS $231
CALLMW AT
202 347 7640
Phone: 410 - 997 - 6447 / Fax: 410 - 997 - 6413
fRIENDLY
fURNITURE
the most unbelievable
bargains on used household
and office furniture
301 - 699 - 1778

Sillith
&

(:",., jfi('(II-.,hlk
\(' ...,IIIII&ln( '"
Robin L. Smith, CPA
Specializing in small
business affairs
1605 seventeenth street. nw washington de
202.462.9000
hair design. hair coloring facials massage
waxing manieureslpedicues STOP SMOKING
LOSE WEIGHT
HYPNOSIS CAN HELP YOU
Build Self Esteem - Mana1l8 Stress
Overcome Sexual DvsfflnctJon
Present & Put LIfe Regressions
GEORGETOWN HYPNOSIS CLINIC
Sheldon J. Fox, R.H. (202) 333-"'"
1212 Wisconsin Ave., N.W. ,I
- Ask about our FREE Introductory 5eulon
s a

on
2303 S. Arlington Ridge Road
(703) 979 - 1040
Your Northern Virginia Expert
for Buying, Selling or Renting
Call Mary Kirn

EYEGOTCHA

OPTOMETRIC
SABA E. AYAlrw, 0.0.
MARY E. FEOIW, 0.0.
DOCTORS OF OPTOMETRY
EYE EXAMS, CONTACT LENSES, EYEGlASSES
1511 CONN. AVE., NW 202-483-7063
Organic Produce
Natural Foods & Body Care
Ecological Household Products
.,. "
o <,"
,. '01,,,0 Over 200 Bulk Items, Coffees 7 Herbs
TPSS Community Food Store
623 Sligo Ave. - Silver Spring, Md. 20910
301-588-6093

Open Everyday 9am - 9pm


Member Owned Worker - Managed
:Wl . 420 . OH20
"I'eei,di/illg ill 'I Ilidl' rallge 01 ,,'n iel".
Ill',ldol' I'llhli,hing. Trailling.
.\11,111 ,i, of clll1ll'lIler nl'l'lb K l1lore.
Ld' Illr" !rl't' initialellll'lIllatilln.
Ramon de la Paz
Computer Consultant & Specialist
I. A GOOD RUN OF BAD LUCK
Clint Black
2. IF BUBBA CAN DANCE (I CAN TOO)
Shenandoah
J. ADDICTED TO A DOLLAR
Doug Stone
4. BEFORE YOU KIU US AU
Randy Travis
5. YOUR LOVE AMAZES ME
, .
-John Berry
6. LOVEBUG
George Strait

7. ROPE THE MOON


john Michael Montgomery
8. DONT TAKE THE GIRL '-.:JlJI
Tim McGraw
9. WISH I DIDNT KNOW
Toby Keith
10. THATAINT NO WAY TO GO
Brooks & Dunn
,

Remington's
Reported by
STAN SLUITER

Trumpets
Repon.dby
ALAN CHASAN B'U KEAIIT
I. FOREVER AND A DAY
arothws In Rhythm
2. WHAT'S UI'
OJ Mlko
J. REACH
judy Cloeela
4. SMEUS UKE TEEN Sl'IlUT
AbIgaIl
5. (MEET) THE FUNTSTONES
Be 52's
6. TREE FlIOG
Hope
7. BACK. FORTH
AalIyah
8. USTEN TO THE MUSIC
Dooble IIrothen
9. AROUND. I WEST END GIRLS
East 17
10. WHEN I FEU IN LOVE
Usa Usa
Stagecoach
Reported by
KEVIN. BRUCE
I. WHAT A CRYING SHAME
Mavericks
2. ON THE ROAD
Lee Roy Parnell
J. DONTTAKE THE GIRL
Tim McGrail
4. FOREVER DANCE
Alan Taylor
5. WHENEVER YOU COME AROUND
Vince Gill
6. nuAUTHE LONELY'S GONE
Pam Tillis
7. LET THE PICTURE PAINT ITSELF
Rodney Cr_ell
8. I CANT STAND TO WATCH MY
OLD FLAME BURN
Curtis Wright
9. RUHAWAY TRAIN
Randy Travis ~
10. IN BETWEEN DANCES "-.:JlJI
Pam Tillis
Blue Penguin
Reported by
IVAN JINKS
I. I WANT YOU
Juliet Roberts
2. I00% PURE LOVE
Crystal Waters
J. WHISPERING YOU NAME
Alison Moyct
4. FOREVER AND A DAY (DMC)
Brothers In Rhythm
5. RENAISSANCE
M People
6. LOVE & HAPPINESS
River Occan with India
7. LIBERATION
Pet Shop Boys
8. BUBBLE
Fluke
9. GOD SAVE THE QUEER
Klatsch
10. SLAVE TO THE RHYTHM '94
Grace Jones
JR's
Reported by
ALBERT LEE
I. WHISPERING YOUR NAME
Alison Moyet
2. LOVE HAPPINESS
RIver Ocean with India
J. BEAUTIFUL I'EOPLE
Barbara Tucker
4. STARS
Nerissa
5. AU I DO
jane Child
6. DOOP
Doop
7. ROCK MY HEART
Haddaway
8. GRAVlTAnONALARCH OF 10
Vapourspace
9. LUV4 U
Bad Boy Blue
10. DONT LET IT GO TO YOUR HEAD
Chantay Savage



,
,

. .-
-

Reported by
DAVID SORAKA
PTMax


I. IF EVER I LOSE MY FAITH
Sting
2.I'UWAIT
Taylor Dayne
J. CHICAGO T R C K W ~ R K Vol. II
All Cuu ,
4. SEARCHIN'
eeCe Peniston
5. I WANT TO THANK YOU
Robin S
6. STARS
Nerissa
7. LOVE COME DOWN
Allison Umerick
8. I BELIEVE
Sounds of Blac.kness
9. OUT OF MY HEAD
Marradonna
10. BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE ~ "'"
Barbara Tucker ,'-"'.,.
Green Lantern
Reported by
KOSTASK
I. THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD
Fire Island
2. FADE TO GREY
Datura
J. WIN MY LOVE
Ce -,ay
4. GROOVE TO ME
0' EFX
5. LOVE AND HAPPINESS (OMC)
RIver Ocean
6. IT GOES UKE THIS
_Tribe
7. THE RIGNT nME
I to I
8. LOVE COME DOWN
Allison Umerick
9. lYE GOT THE MUSIC
Mount llulhmonl
10. GOD SAVE THE QUEER
Klatsch!
1
Top 10's prOVides our
readers with the latest
look at what music is
being played at some of
the hottest spots in the
area. DJ's must provide
their lists to MW,by

Friday, Spin for


publication the following
Thursday.
Please fax, mail or deliver
to'
MW . 724 9th St.. N.W
Suite 429
Wash. D.C., 20009
Fax - (202) 347 - 7811
Maryland/DC
Bohimen NO END TO FUN: Block
prolessionol mole. 5'11', Jlreol shope.
Sooking 0 WM under 45 lor doting ond
mud> men. "25761
Do..r UOl.YPIOl'U NEED LOVI,
TOO: seeks 0 friend and 0
possible . ip. Inlo meMes. fun
and F""'. "25738
FrosbJrg OPI'OITUNTY
KNOCKS: ...ONCE. 28 yr old WM
seeks 0 -rspecioI g.ry 10 9" on a olJ.
upon... poid Caribbean ""i... II......
o great sense 01 humor. Seeking 0 g.ry.
2135. "25703
lID Ott 50 ROMANTIC: GaM. 23.
UO. seeks GaM. 18-30 lor friendship.
meMes ond condlelight din......
"24778
lID 5PlJNG TRAINING: 30 yr old.
6'. vy goad-Ioaking sub btm seeks a
daddy lor troining ... "25298
lID WlLlIlOUNDlD: GaM, 6'3",
220. Inlo meMes. sports and the
theater. Seeking g.rys 26-33 who are
rnos<>IIino. "25720
lID DAII( SlON A+: 25 yr old bllt
g.ry seeks blIu or PRs IMJ( 30...24781
lID CHAIlJSMA: Masculine GWM.
5'9", dean shaYen and IllU1C\Ilor.1 om
inlo biking the ouldoars and om goad
company. Seeking a GWM, 25-35.
who is intelligent and sine..... "17462_
lID OUT Of MY SHEll: 35 yr old.
5'8', 140. Seeking 0 special friendship.
Iom shy and would like )'CU 10 Ioke
chorgo. Toll A+. "25676
-
INSTRUCTIO S:
To PIact Your FREE Printed
d WIlh Voict..\faiI,
Call 1-800-S46-ME
To Respood or Browse
Penooals CALL THE 900 #
00 THE :
PRESS: 1.
Fne Penooal Ad With
Voice MaUhox.
PRESS: 2.
Htar Latest Penooall
Sorted By Arta Code
PRESS: 3.
Respood To ASpecific
Prioted d Shawo Hert.
PRESS: 4.
IDJlnlctioos &< TIp
PRESS: O.
To Talk LIVE!
PRESS: .
To Pick Up fesnges
to Your Mailboxes.
For Costomtr Service:
415-281-3183.24 Brs.
lID RID HEAD: 28 yr old WM. 6'.
168. red hair and striking blue 0)'eS.
Seeking 0 g.ry. 18-32,01any <000. I
om a top and Iom woifing lor >"""
coli. "26127
lID UKI MY COFFlE: 24 yr old loll
ond srnoolf, g.ry seeks 0 bIk mole. 2<t
35. "26131
IIDWHATIVIR YOU SAY: Masc
38 yr old WM. Iwonl
10 be sob 10 on in
charge aossdres.... or
lV. "25309
IIDMR.
PIRSONAUTY:
Seeking a sinoore sioblo
!PI with a goad
pononoIity.
Asions/lotinos A+.
"26403
lIDMAIlUORO
MAN: Inlo tho
outdoan ond seeking a
g.ry. 18-30. WM.
swimmer's builcl. PIoose
I...... r"'" head on
stroighl. "26466
lID IlIADY fOR THE
FIRST: 29 yr old 81-
curious WM is cIeon ClIl
and seeking 0 g.ry 30
or younger lor 6", fime
uperience_ "26577
Washington TOOl.
lOX: G8M, 5'10".
Aggressive btm seeks 0
clem top. 25-40.
"26316
Washington TOTAl.
SISSY: GWM. blondo.
blue. 57'. 128. ShowocI
head and into tho
tochncnu.. scent. I like .
10 be treatecUike 0 -...an. Tho kinkier.
he bettor. "26395
Woshinglan MITRO ARIA: 2Oyrold
blk mole seeks dilClllOl fun fimes with 0
jodVprepprtypo...26459
Washington SUI ILK ITM: Seeking
a top. 39 yn old, 57'. PIoose be
sIrong. "26527
Bollimen ACUT AIOVI: GWM. 36.
em 0)'eS. 6'3". seeks g.rys 30-45 who
oro inlo a goad quolily fime. "23472
Bohimen AlST YOU AND ME:
Altructive, 37. 6'2". 190. Seeking on
aggressive, ..... top lor a monogoollOIiS
roIotionship. tr24466
Wmen YOU COIJU) MAKE A
SWEATER: 25 yr old. 6'3". 210.
bm/blu and -r hty seeks g.rys lor
fun. "2A755
Wmen ILACKTOP WANTED:
GWM. 26. seeking a black mon top,
26-30. "25097
IIDWHERI ARE THE ROPIS1:
GaM seeks men 25-30 10 show me the
ropes. PIoo... no gomes. "23554
lID HEY, LUI: B1k mole. dilClllOl
ond mosc. 29" woisl-'<s 25-35.
PIoo... be 0111 odi... "23689
lID GaM: 27.5'9", 145. Seeking a
g.ry who wonts 10 por1y and enjoy tho
goad life. "23771
lID MATURI1: 38 yr old black mole
prufeuionoI seolu moturo men lor 0
possible relationship. "2J8.U
wo HOMO ALONI: 33 yroldWM
soob bit or tilpcric malos trZl934
lID SEEKING lLACK
ROUGHNECKS: 57, 150 seeks a
brother with a lud<y charm. II)'CU oro
long wincled. please coli...23948
lID DAYTIME PASSION: 8i:WM. -
50s. seeks lVs lor daytime odion.
..24006
lID THE IIG ONE: 45 yr old. hry
and 290 pounds. 1010 ex>oking. music
and movies. Seeking 0 g.ry 25-45. MlISI
big "2AJ47
lID GUARANTIED TO SAn5FY:
Hot-Ioaking boordod btm loves 10
sofisly. Seeking .......bUk tops lor goad.
cIeon /un. "17460
lID '8 YR OLD: High school senior
Bi-guy is ..... and goad-Ioaking.
Seeking a g.ry who likes fun as much os
Ido. B1k pr8/erred. CoIl me at home.
"24397
lID DO AS I SAY: SSM. 220,
handsome. 6'3". Seeking fern g.rys lor
service. loman aggressive!p. "24529
lID Uf'S smu DOWN: GWM,
40.6'1'. 205. grey haired proIessionaI
writer. Seeking a GaM or GAMwho is
proIessionaI and ready lor a
monogomous relationship.
Inla tho meMes and theater.
"24595
lID WHIRl IT ALl
lIGAN: leon muse buddy
needed lor a cruise tIw
Greek Isles. Col and let's
share 0 greol fime. "24685
lID TALl GUY: 22.6'6'.
192. seeks 0 muse man inlo
partying and quiet ......,ings
at home. "24816
lID GOOD FIND: GWM
businosslhome owner seolu
a serious, sincere guy. Into
axnping. 6shing and tho
beaches. Race is open. I om
in shope and -'<
c:ornponionship and possibly
mOl e. "24856
lID JUST WONDERING:
45 old Bi-<:Urious g.ry
:xintelligent g.rys lor
goad fimes. I om 0
professionol and would Ie,..
10 IaIk 1o)'CU. "25019
lID HEAVIN CAN WAlr:
Block mole. very good shope
world trcweIer """
Seeking g.rys at
Ioast 6'. masculine and no
drugs. Inlo roIIorskating and
01 sports. "25127
lID YOU CALL THE SHOTS: Mosc
bot sdlmissive 38 yr old seolu 0 .......
10m g.ry to toI<o d.orgo. "25309
SprW9IoId IIOII"G POINl': GWM, 24,
soob men '"fI &lender limos. "24491
Woshington WASHINGTON
MONUMENTTOO SMALL: GWM,
loR and slim g.ry seeks u blk top "itn 0
big challenge. "2A687
_________-'1
Washington TINDER TOPS: 23 yr old
professional GWM, groat legs and a
fight body. Inlo sports and tho ouldoars.
Seeking a sensitive top mono "25151 l
8aIIimoro FOOTIALl PlAnr5
IIUID: 28 yr old, 5' 10". 190. 8lad<, bi-
'PI.1aw-1Lodont soob prd. inIolgont 25-
3S yr aid. Sooking 0 'PI who IooIS lriquo.
is noat. JoIc rrusic, sports. "23232
WmOI e RlSI TO THE
CHAWNGI: 5' 11', mosc g.ry is
seeking a .......tlor/const typo. Boord
and slDcho desired. "22664
MO FIRE PELT: Rod headed pre-op
babe, seeking a real mono ..21517
MO RID GOAliE: 29yroldwilito
malo, red hair, gooIoo. SeeIcing a blk 'PI
inlo the outdoors and the 9>'"'. 1r21614
MOPERfICT DATE: 22 yr old, 57",
155, seeking guys 18-25. 1.0(. go
bowling or got a nice quiet <Ii....... 1""""
mod in_and hope)'CU do,loo.
..21662
MO GllOUNIlID?: 36 yr old
proIessionol. Cloon shoo""'" 5'11', 187.
Seelcing down 10 earth f!JYS. "22183
MO PARTY AU THE TlMI: 24 year
old blk mole, 5'10', 170 seeks oIhor
blk or PR for friend. and more. InJo
poJ1ying and outdoor odivities.
"22194
MO 'BURlS: 33 yr old l1oIion, doon
cut and well buih. Down 10 eorih 'PI
seeks ...22599
MO MlDmRRANEAN: 20 yr old
good looking guy seeks weI1--l
Ips. Greeklltolion A+...22644
MO OH, BROTHER: 32 yr old blk
mole, 5'10', 185. Very muse-.
brother i. hoping for a Ip...22724
FEATURES...
* HOME IDE *T LKLIVE
*ALL Llf'ESlYLES *LAT AD
FtRST*FREUt GECHECK
*FREE AD PLACEMENT
*DI REET CALL BACK ERYlCE
*CONFID T1AL
*SORTED DY AJIA CODE
MO SOmR SIDE: 42 yr old SSM
seeks lV. TS. or !em guys who are
srnooIh,"22726
i/OClAIM YOUR REWARD: Fit 38 yr
old BiWM seeks blk or wIUte guys who
r-J dilcipline. Very """ and ""....".d;ng.
1r22780
MO TRAPPED IN THE 'BURlS:
GWM, 41 seek. dark haired men for
great encounlen...22929
MO PRESSURE DROP: 6'2', inlo
reading, cooking and the outdoors.
Seeking men 2330. Please be moture
and we <Xln .Iort oxpIoring...22942
i/OVERY APPllICIA11Vl: 0JIaGeM,
5'S', seeks a 'PI 18-40. Into lenni. and
doncing. AI cds opprecioIod. "23132
i/O ITSY BITSY: 28 yr old Hispanic,
5'6', 155. Inlo bikini. and jock .lraps.
..23149
MO REDHEAD'S LUCK: 21)"'Or old
Adoni. wia da anything for redhead.
"23191
MO MKHANIC: 6'3', SSM, 210,1
om very dam and r-J lelVice.
..23234
MO BIGGER IS BETTER: 81k mole,
-., 5'8', 150 seek. blk mose guys
<Mt: 2301. Any age i. OK. "23099
MO LOADS AND LOADS: 29 yr old
i. into wrestling and seek. someone inlo
load. oIlvn...23443
i/O nRED OF THE lARS? 10m.
6'3', 210, 33. Inlo dining in or out.
Hoping for on lTR...23472
MO /'U DRM: 5'10', beefy, muse
WM. Gm eye. and very ottrocti"". Inlo
sports and quiet fimes. Seeking a WM,
5'8' or shorter. Please be submissive.
No smoke/drug....23489
BoIIimore Cl0SE-TAPERID HAlt Sexy
25 YObkxl< odeseeks on honest,
dilCTOl!!, &iendshipmindod .8Iod<,
fisponic, <>..Ie, Iklb ...18929
Balfimore SaM: Seeking a mon 01 any
rote/age in_led in a monogomou.
I like good oompony and
quiet fimes at home...13492
Baltimore WILD PLANET: 21 yr old,
bmlhzl, 5'9', GWM. Seeking a WM
inlo roving the B52\ beach and
roIletcoo.len...19588
Balfimore I TAKE MINI BLACK: 19
yr old college .tudent seeks 2126 yr
old blk mole who i. loll and mose. Iam
a sub btm seeking my 6",
Coli me at home. ..19609
Baltimore UGMEN: 5'9', 155, dean
I"""" nice legs and om a passive
bini. Stocky Ips ore weIoome...19932
Balfimore FROM OPERA TO CWB:
23 yr old GaM inloquietevening. and
the opera. 0ccXJ. cIubber seek. a guy
Io.hare good fimes with...19939
Balfimore ATHLITE: 5'11',175, mosc
athletic ocfion 5porfs.
Seeking a , loll guy for a really
gOod fime...19971
BoIfimore HEY MEN: Bm/blu, clean
.na...n. 10m inlo guilor, cooking and
am seeking blk or while guys 20-45.
HeoYy set i. A+. 275 and up. "20526
Baltimore TAU BLACK MIN: 23
yeor old i. seeking )'CU and woifing for
a <XlII at home. 5'9' with a football
build. Inlo the clubs and portying.
..17310
Baltimore LIT IT GROW: 30 yeor old.
Intense, romonfic, nurturing and
wpporti"". Inlo sports and the groat
outdoors. Seeking a WM 10 .hare life'.
e>periences. "20543
MO LlVEL HEAD?: Seeking a
and .toble man <Mt: 23. Lofino A+.
Coli me at home. "19628
MO UKI MY COFFEE: Iom seeking
mon 30-45. Iom 32, 5'11', 180 and
in_led in blk moles only. Must be
down 10 earth and relofionohip
orienled. ..19650
MO ARMY COUPU: Seeking a third.
Coli u. at home...19754
MO YOU AND THI TWO OF US:
33,40 Ip and btm seeks a good fime I
with another...19762
MO SMOOTHIE: 35 yr old, 5'9' and
""""th seeking a mosc Ip...19805
MO FRlINDLYFIRE: WM, 27, Ilike
going out, meefing people. I am down
10 earth and hoping 10 hear from )'CU.
.. 19844
MO EXHIBITIONIST: Iom corning 10
lawn and seeking bIk or Lofino men 10
"20039
MO NETWORKING: 27 yr old, 5'8",
dark hair/eyes. 10m a professional inlo
the beach, movie. and meefing __
people...13374
1'1,\<'1 'd)LI{ IIU I I'IRSO:\;,\I ADl I-HOO-S-th-'\II N:\; (h.1hhl

A 0 A M S M 0 R G A N
EI Faro - 2411 18th Street, N.W
202-387-6554 - Latino Dance Bar/Restaurant for men
and women. Open 7 days - lunch & dinner.
,
Jolt 'n Bolt - 1918 18th Street, N.W, #4
202-232-0077 Coffee & Tea House
NOR THE: A S T
Delta Elite - 3734 10th Stret:t, N.E.
202-529-0626 - Dance Bar, mostly men weekends only.
CAPlrUL HILL
Bachelor's Mill - 1104 8th Street, S.E.
202-544-193 I - Dance Bar, mostly men, upstairs
Back Door Pub - 202-546-5979 (top floor of
Bachelor's MilQ
Mr. Henry's - 601 Pennsylvania Avenue, S.E.
202-546-8412 - Victorian Pub and Restaurant

Blue Pen,uln 801 Pennsylvania Ave, S.E.


(202)547-4568
R.mil1JtOn... 639' Pennsylvania Ave, S.E.
202-543-3113 - CountrY-Western Dance
Bar; serves food, mostly men
Phase One - 525 8th Street, S.E. 202-5....-6831
Dance Bar; mostly women
U U f) LJ Nil; I f-? C L E:.:
I
JR's- 1519 17th Street, N.W 202-328-0090
Video Bar/Restaurant, mostly men
Mr. p's - 2147 P Street, N.W
202-293-1064 - Video Bar, mostly men
Paramount Steak House (Annie's)
1609 '7th St., NoW - 202-232-0395
Restaurant, men and women
Pop Stop- 1513 17th Street, N.W, 202-328-0880.
Coffee House.
Trumpets- 17th and Q Street, N.W
202-232-4'41- Restaurant/Video bar, men and women
Brass RaIl - 476 KStreet, N.W
202-371-6983 - Dance Bar/Restaurant, mostly men
DC Eap - 639 NewYork Ave, N.W
202-347-6025, Leather/Levi Bar
Country-Western, mostly men

Green Lantern - 13 13 LStreet, NW (rear)


202-638-5133, Video Cruise Bar, mostly men

sour H E A S T
Club 55 - 55 KSt., S.E. - Drag Bar (Sundays Only).

La Cap Aux Follies - 180 St , S.E.


-
202-554-3615 - Male go-go dancers
Lost Ir Found- 56 L Street, S.E. 202-488-1200
Dance Club, mostly men, open after hours
Annex - 1413 22nd Street, N.W (above Badlands)
202-293-0064 - Video Bar, mostly men
Badlands- 1415 22nd Street, N.W
202-296-0505 - Dance/Video bar, mostly men
The i ~ e Bar j 1629 Connecticut Ave., N.W -
(202)462\s57Y
Escandalo - 2122 P Street, N.W- (202)822-8909
Tracks- 1111 First Street, S.E. 202-488-3320-
Super Disco Club and Video Bar, serves food
men and women, open after hours
Ziegfelds - 1345 Half Street, S.E.
202-554-5141 - Dance Bar, drag shows, male
go-go dancers, men and women
The Zone- 52 L Street, S.E. 202-488-1200
Male go-go dancers, Video Bar, mostly men

The Fireplace - 22nd & P Street, N.W


202-293-1293 - Video Bar, mostly men
Fraternity House - 2122 P Street, N.W (rear)
202-223-4917 Dance/Video Bar, after-hours,
mostly men
V I R GIN I A
,
French Quarter Caf. - 808 King StJeet
Alexandria, VA - 703-683-2803
Restaurant/Video Bar, men
and women

ESCORTS
ESCORTSIIJ THERE WILL BE A $40.00 CHARGE PER
MONTH(or any portion thereof) FORPLACINGANAD IN
THIS SECTION OF METRO ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY.
PLEASE DROP OFF OR MAIL YOUR AD ALONG WITH
A $40.00 PAYMENT TO MW, 724 9th ST., NW, SUITE
429, WASHINGTON, DC 20001. MAKE CHECK OR
MONEY ORDER PAYABLE TO MW. WE MUST
RECEIVE PAYMENTBY5O'CLOCKONTHETHURSDAY
BEFORE THE WEEK YOU WOULD LIKE YOUR AD
INSERTED.
VARSITY MENOur guys are so hot you could fry an egg
on them. If you've got the spark, we've got the sizzle.
For friendly. discreet and enthusiastic service, why
don't you call us?And we also welcome newMen. (202)
389-2078 [602-1]
BOYSTOWN CREW, featuring D:C.'s hottest young
men. "We're EXTREMELY SELECTIVE. Shouldn't you
be?" (202) 462-2697. Also Hiring-!602-2]...,_......,...........,..
BOYS*UNLIMITEOHandsome fun Boys and Men full of
excitement. ALSO... Discreet Women for Discreet
Women. (202) 547-0297 Always Hiring. [602-3]
SHORT&SWEETSmart &Sexy. Congenial young 5'6",
swimmer's build. Massage. Marc (202) 234-0705 [602-

MASSAGE FOR GENTLEMEN Caring, mature GWM
offers full body, sensuous massage. Days/Evenings.
DuPont/Adams Morgan. Andy (202) 328-7917 [602-5)
BLACK, MUSCULAR athlete gives sensual or thera-
peutic massage to anyone, including couples & over-
weight persons. (301) 680-9198
GIJOEExtremelyhandsomeArmyStud, 5'11",175#, bV
br, built, masc., endowed. (202) 745-1771 [630-7L
HANDSOME, STRONG, hairy, endowed, 30 y/o Latin.
Loves to please. Rick (301) 608-0720 [602-8L
YOUNG 19 Y/O BOY, 5'11".135#, brlbr, smooth, safe,
in/out. Chad (202) 232-3365 [602-91'-:-:::--_--:-:"""':'
VERY HANDSOME, 21 y/o, clean-cut & masc. Hot
smooth swimmer's build. Hard, 8uckable, imaginative,
safe and discreet. (202) 462-9219 [602-10]...,--,-...,....-
HANDSOME, MUSCULAR. QUALITY GUY, defined
pees, hot butt, endowed, versatile, In/Out, Am/Pm.
Danny (202) 667-2065 [630-11]
ALL AMERICAN handsome, masc. rock hard muscle
boy available for massage. Mike (202) 328-1041 [602-

MODELS/ESCORTS. Interviewing qualified young ap-
plicants to join select service run by honest profession-
als who will treat you with respect. Also one opening
for a rent free living arrangement. (202) 546-9655 [602-

TALL. BLONDE, LEAN, hard and smooth. No attitude.
I'mwaiting foryou. Page me, Eric. (703) 213-2911 [602-

SEXY STALLION to curry your favor. Blond, hard,
smooth, masc., muse., 27. Call now (202) 296-6752

HOT BLONDE GERMAN STUD Young clean-cut stu-
dent, very cute and good-looking, ex-military, endowed,
versatile, masc. athletic, 26, 5'10", 160, bVbI, friendly.
Erotic full-body massage, safe, discreet, in/out, am/pm.
Hot hung pal available to double your pleasure. Dirk
(202) 333-8763 [602-16]
NEWSERVICE ON THE HILL, specializing in the plea-
sures of the Man, needs quality assistance. Call
for interview (202) 544-4238 [602-16]
ALL AMERICAN ROTC STUD, hot young college stu-
dent, very cute boyish looks with fun body, nicely hung,
versatile, mild to wild scenes. 25, 5'9", 150#, bllblue,
clean shaven, friendly, discreet and safe. Discounts for
military and students, in/out, am/pm, extra pal available.
Danny (202) 338-3097 [602-17] ...,....-_:-
EXOTIC, TANTALIZING, erotic, fun, provocative, safe.
25,5'9", 155#, bVbr. (202) 986-1754 [602-18]
GOOD-LOOKING & MUSCULAR, well endowed and
knows how to work it. Cody (703) 722-3546 [602-18]
YOUNG LATINO, 21, very handsome, provides sen-
sual nude massage. 202-319-9183 [609]
MARINEBODYBUILDERHandsome, blond, Colt Model,
6", 210#, 48" chest, 31" waist, 18" arms. Clean-cut,
defined, tanned. In or out. Discreet. Dave 202-398-
1249. (See photo ad). [609]
*METROPOLITAN*MEN*ESCORTSII MD, DC's and
VA's hottest young MEN. If your flavors/fantasies range
from All American to that cute, ready to be shaved
Leather-Boy, we've got that personaiized touch just for
you. for Safe, Reliable and always DISCREET service.
301-990-9229. HIRING.
EARLY BIRD SPECIAL. Hot black top from Detroit will
warm your moming buns. Relieve extra stiff muscles
with a hot oil rubdown. Marc is 26, 5'11", 180, w/ footbal
players build. He is masculine, very handsome and
exceptionally equipped. Special daytime rate. Call Black
Stallion Escorts @202-217-9328 to schedule an appt.
Out only.:..!609]
FANTASIES -a-m-a-s-cu"'7
li
:""n-e"':'"b':"'"la-c:"'"k-m-a-n
help you fulfill your wildest fantasy. He is well-equipped
with the right tools to get the job done. Hot buddy
availablesometimes. Call Black Stallion Escorts @202-
217-9344 to schedule an
BLACK BASKETBALL JOCK. Steve is 24, 6', 175,
athletic, exceptionally handsome and gives great as-
sists on and off the court. Masculine bottom with sexy
legslbuns. Call Black Stallion Escorts@202-217-9344
to schadule an _
BIG&TALL ESCORT. Gil, WM, 29, 6'3",185, handsome,
athletic, articulate, well-versed, and masculine is avail-
able eveningslweekends. you won't be disappointed
this time. Call B&W Prime Escorts @ 301-308-5384. to
schedule an appointment. In/Out. [609]
YOUNGEX-MARINE- Kevin isWM, 24, 6', 175, blackflat
top and blue eyes. Handsome, athletic, smooth, mascu-
line and friendly. Available early in hte day and after
midnight M-F and anytime weekends. Call B&W Prime
Escorts @ 301-510-9044 [609]
TRY HUGHI HUGH G. RECTION - 2 of them. 2 hot guys
- 20's, built, hung, versatile, experienced. Mild to Wild.
Legs of death. VNDC. In/Out. Anytime. 703-527-5465
[609]
MORE ESCORTS ON THE FOlLOWING PAGES

COLT MODEL
BLOND MARINE
BODYBUILDER
6', 210 Ibs, 48 C, 31 W, 18 a
DAVE
(202)398-1249
I
5'11 "

53" C
19" A
29" W
28" T
2251bs.
r. ue ec
202-546-6587
$2-3.$O/MINUTE NO CREDIT CARD NEEDED APE SAN RAFAEL CA fa. YEARS
2to per minute
.......
eAr guys
'rea" cum!
Most {icit
Phone tt
rouCanyet!
Live Groups
Live Ooe-oo.Qle
SiD6Dg Rcorded Stories.
Down 'n Dirty Mewges
1-80G-827- .

wt
ot ......1.
C
S .!,
., II .... III
HO,9TiiES
,.... t.. If Spo.I.II.,.""
99/.11...... Mo."
(!lllh: (,til \II\Il
.. 1dl
-
1800850TELL
\
,

B&W PRIME

ASSOCIATES
A service ror gentlemen in the
Baltimore-Washington Area.
ow open 24 hours each day.
Always hlrlns quality escorts.
301-308-5384 .
II \1'''' 1101 B ... I'U 1\1. ...
I all 1'" I' ,I, Ia i 1- .
PRIME ESCORTS
Gorgeou white men you dream of -
stop dreaming, they are real
and waiting for your can.
1.0\\ 1.... 1 B HI ....
",. "H,... Ih,' 1,,,,,'-1 1'011"- ill Ih,' 01 ... 01
fell' ellialil\ "-",,,,(-,
BLACK STALLIO ESCORTS
Men the way you like them - friendly,
strong and very handsome.
SOOTHING MASSAGE SERVICE
Muscular and trim black masseurs -
strong and gentle hands
='s total satisfaction.
6'2", 215 LBS.
of sexy muscled beef
no bull!!!
Extra Large Meat
safe & discreet
guaranteed!

,
AFTER HOURS TIPS
,
T h e
B.
a c k R o 0 m
bySeanBugg
infomercial is a

by

at five in the

morning
a Thighmas.ter
the morning.
Also essential-is some form of electronic en-

the vibrntor under the bathroom sink where it

belongs). Music provides the best background


for re-hashing the entire evening. Ifthe televi-
sion must be on, mute the volume. A strung-
out group of queens trnnsfIxed at fIve in the
morning by a Thighmaster infomercial is a ter-
rifying sight.
Porno movies
make an excellent
backdrop for after
hours, especially A st rung - 0 ut
when the conver-
sation has become .
particularly in- group of queens
sipid and you
want to break t ran s fix e d
everyone's con-

cenrrnuon.
This is what
they mean by
open house.
Check your beq-
room, batl'oom
and closets peri-
odically for those
unexpected
couplings and. terrifyi ng sight
triplirtgs that can
occur. If .
not careful they
may use your ,
lube, leaving you high and dry for your own
private sunrise service with some guy whose
name yo,:! can't quite remember, but he sure is
cute.
, .
You may want to take the precaution oflock-
ingthe bedroom Some guests make think
you're rude, but screw'em, it's your house. Plus
there's nothing worse than rolling over onto a
wet spot you had nothing to do with.

I
'VE NOTICED,mAT when a club begins to clear
around four a.m., there's always a crowd that
refuses to give up the ghost and go to bed. In-
stead, with the desire to continue the stimulat-
ingconversation (and have that one last chance
at getting lucky), they decide to check out an
after hours party.
As with most other forms of social interac-
tion, some rules need to be set to ensure that a
host will risk having another one next week.
Invitations. Custom dictates that an invita-
tion cannot be given until after two o'clock. All
invitations must be verbal. Pre-printed invita-
tions kill the spontaneity associated with these
events. Besides, half the fun of an after hours
party is trying to remember where it is (and
then trying to prove you were actUally invited).
The bane of the after hours existence is the
uninvited guest, which usually comes in a pack
of ten. Handle these creatures preemptively at
the club by giving them invitationS to someone
else's apartment on the other side of town (for
example, your ex-boyfriend's). .
What do you do when a friend decides to
host yet another after hours party when the last
three have been disasters? Send him home to
get the place ready. When he's gone, change
the location. .
Essentials to have on hand. Planning for
the party goes against the letter and spirit of
after hours law. Guests should feel as ifthey are
making a partyout ofwhatever and whoever is
available. The onlyadditions they need are what
they have left from the bar and what they can
pick up at the 7-11.
Still, there are basic essentials that all Party
Queers should have on hand: an ice maker, Diet
Coke, tonic, a large bottle ofcheap vodka (hide
the Stoll), and a collection ofMcDonald's Ju-
rassic Park glasses. The importance of having
plastic glasses cannot be underestimated oth-
erwise, all your good crystal will be smashed by
some twisted queen who's moving to Miami in

ace 1

ace 1

ace 1

Clickyour heels
and come on in.
Nightly specials!
1519 17th Street NW Washington DC 20036 202-328-0090
Play Safe Party Smart

Das könnte Ihnen auch gefallen