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SEDUCTION
By Lorenzo Martini What Every Man Should Know Before Reading Advanced Seduction Methods and Techniques
BASIC SEDUCTION
Proudly brought to you by
LORENZO MARTINI
Email: lorenzo@sexgodsecrets.com
Copyright Notice
Copyright Lorenzo Martini 2006 www.basicsedution.com - All rights reserved. Every effort has been made to ensure that this manual is free from error or problems. Im selling it to you with the understanding that although I have worked hard and long to provide accurate information, I cannot take any responsibility for loss or action to any individual or corporation acting, or not acting, as a result of the material presented here. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying and recording or by any storage and retrieval system without the express written permission from the author.
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Screenshots and quotations in this publication are taken directly from publicly accessible file archives. They are used as fair use under 17 U.S.C. Section 107 for news purposes only, to illustrate various points made in this publication. While all attempts have been made to verify information provided in this publication, neither the author nor the publisher assumes responsibility for error, omissions or contrary interpretations of the subject matter herein. This publication is not intended for use as a source of legal or medical advice. The purchaser or prospect of this publication assumes responsibility for the use of these materials and information. Adherence to applicable laws and regulations, both federal, state and local, governing professional licensing, business practices, advertising and all other aspects if doing business in the United States or any other jurisdiction is the sole responsibility of the purchaser or prospect. The author and publisher assume no responsibility whatsoever on the behalf of any publisher or prospect of these materials.
Table of Contents
TABLE OF CONTENTS .......................................................................................4 INTRODUCTION ................................................................................................10
The Odds to Meet the Perfect Woman ..................................................................................................... 10
Misconceived Belief of Shy Men When Meeting Single Women ............................................................ 29 The Myth of the Line - Rejection .............................................................................................................. 30 Style - Your Smile....................................................................................................................................... 31 Why You Should Consider Dating & Pursuing Relationships ............................................................... 32 Why You Should Not Wear Masks When Meeting Single Women ....................................................... 33 You - Don't be a Weenie ............................................................................................................................ 34 Your Rap - Why Do People Love Oprah?................................................................................................ 35 Why Being Short Should Not Interfere With You Meeting, Dating, Attracting Single Women for Romance ...................................................................................................................................................... 36
HYGENE.............................................................................................................42
Are You Aware That Bad Breath Can Prevent You From Scoring With Single Women?.................. 42 Top 10 Colognes that women find irresistible on a man ......................................................................... 44
OPENING LINES................................................................................................49
Dating Tips on How to Talk to Single Women......................................................................................... 49 Some Fall-Backs For Shy Men .................................................................................................................. 49 Opening lines............................................................................................................................................... 50 Effective Opening Lines ............................................................................................................................. 51 Perfecting Your Opening Lines................................................................................................................. 54 Bad Opening Lines ..................................................................................................................................... 55
Conversational Icebreakers ....................................................................................................................... 56 She Loves You, She Loves You Not .......................................................................................................... 58 Conversing For Maximum Attraction ...................................................................................................... 60 Don't Worry, Be Happy ............................................................................................................................. 61 Personal Space ............................................................................................................................................ 63 Advices on Flirting ..................................................................................................................................... 63
Great First Dates ........................................................................................................................................ 90 The Top 10 Places to Take Single Women on a First Date ..................................................................... 92 Cheap Dates: 10 Ways to Impress Her on a Dime................................................................................... 94
THINGS TO DO ..................................................................................................96
10 Best Things to Do on a First Date to Attract Single Women ............................................................. 96 The Dating Process - Date Behavior ......................................................................................................... 97 How to Successfully Date Women ............................................................................................................. 97 Dating Tips to Help You Succeed With Single Women......................................................................... 101 The Top 10 Dining Etiquette Tips to Impress Single Women When on a Dining Date...................... 102 The Importance Of Eye Contact ............................................................................................................. 103 Pampering Her ......................................................................................................................................... 104 What To Do On Your First Date............................................................................................................. 105
CONVERSATION .............................................................................................107
Conversation Pitfalls to Avoid When Talking to Single Women.......................................................... 107 How to Talk to Single Women When on a Date..................................................................................... 107 A Good Talk/Listen Ratio........................................................................................................................ 108 Conversing For Maximum Attraction .................................................................................................... 109 Advice on Asking Single Women Personal Questions ........................................................................... 110 What To Say?............................................................................................................................................ 111
KISSING ...........................................................................................................112
Art of Kissing Single Women on Your First Date ................................................................................. 112 How To Go About Kissing Her ............................................................................................................... 113
The Biggest Mistakes Men Make ............................................................................................................ 119 Dumb Dating Mistakes Men Make ......................................................................................................... 120
Introduction
The Odds to Meet the Perfect Woman
The reality is that there are thousands, perhaps millions of single women who would work out just fine as dates or long term commitments. It is a matter of compromise, readiness, need and circumstance. You must realize that you don't end up with the absolute best choice available for a girlfriend or a wife. If you look at it in statistical terms, there must be thousands of single women who have more to offer. You just don't have the time and resources to meet them all. Picture it as a major event like a college football game. You have one afternoon and about 20,000 available women. How many can you get to know well enough to ask out for Saturday night? OK, all analogies leak, but you get the point. So with luck, you could hope to date less than 100 single girls during your bachelorhood. (We're being generous.) With luck, the average man will experience a dozen or so "relationships" lasting more than a couple weeks. One or two of these will result in marriages. Maybe. Are you depressed? Don't be - these are just the facts. Check with your older friends and relatives for verification. (By the way, don't forget that single women are also out there meeting, rejecting, accepting, dating and marrying guys constantly - just to add to the confusion!) Conclusion is that: "The Perfect Woman" doesn't exist. As I said, it is just a matter of compromise, readiness, need and circumstance.
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Here's a letter I used to respond to personal ads to successfully meet and attract women like crazy: Hi! This letter is in response to your recent "personal" ad. Your ad really captured my attention and you sound like someone I would really like to get to know better. In order for you to get to know me better, here's a little bit about myself: I am a single financially secure businessman, 1947 model, low mileage, high performance. Bumped a few times, but never wrecked. Proven ability to hug the road and not wander off course. Exterior in mint condition, warm, affectionate, sensitive interior, never soiled. Factory equipped package includes stereo, humor, depth, imagination and intelligence. Radio picks up all kinds of rock and classical. Spacious seats with plenty of room for passenger...runs on high-octane fun and romance, lifetime supply included. Available for inspection by female drivers only, prefer affectionate woman, no dependents, eye-catching exterior, self-confident, intelligent, warm, sincere with sense of humor and full set of tools. I come from a close solid family, would like to have little Toyotas some day. Equipped with nice endowment. Only driven once a week by little old lady to/from church. To arrange test drive, please write or call me at xxx-xxxx-xxxx (anytime). HAPPY MOTORING! P.S. Feel free to modify this letter to use for yourself. Try it...it works like crazy!
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I am not a game player. I never want personal happiness at the expense of someone else. If we have a single date or a lifetime together, I will never lie to you, try to manipulate you or use you in any way. I am an incurable romantic who treasures, cherishes and appreciates sincerity, integrity, honesty and warmth. I enjoy picnics, laughing, talking, touching, affection and physical closeness. A good listener who enjoys mutual spoiling and also I am a one-woman man. I am looking for a special, loving relationship with a unique lady who is affectionate, beautiful, slender, with a shapely figure, sincere, easygoing, with interests and characteristics similar to mine...someone who wants a meaningful, serious, long-term relationship...not just a few dates. Are you that special lady? All it will take to find out whether or not things might work between you and me is a 32cent stamp and five minutes of your time to write me a letter. Physical attraction to me is as important as the other things I have mentioned. Please send a recent photo (not over one year old) of yourself. I will send my recent photo when I answer your letter. I would also appreciate you sending your phone number. Well, what do you think? Isn't this a great letter! You could also use this for online personals too. The next step is up to you...Try the personals, they sure worked for me!
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How to Use Your Friends, Acquaintances, Relatives and Co-Workers to Help You Meet, Date, and Seduce Hot & Sexy Single Women
Here's a great networking system for you to meet, date, attract, and seduce more hot & sexy single women for some love, sex, and romance. Here's what you need to do to improve your love and sex life: On a 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper, make a list of all your friends, acquaintances, relatives, and co-workers. The form for your list should look like this: Friends....................Acquaintances.....................Relatives.............................Co-Workers 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
Now, just fill in the blanks on this form and get in touch with these people and simply make this statement: "I am expanding my social circle of female friends. Could you introduce me to some of your single female friends?"
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Try this networking system and you just might be surprised at all the new sexy single women you will meet for some love, sex, and romance. Lots of marriages have occurred by meeting the opposite sex through other people and you just may find the "love of your life" using this girl-getting system.
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How to Pick Up Hot & Sexy Beautiful Single Women at the Beach
This is one of the more favorable and popular spots to meet single women for love, sex, and romance. They are there for the taking. Take your pick! The beach provides a perfect setting for meeting hot & sexy single women. It's a casual and relaxed atmosphere and most of the women are friendly. It's just simply a matter of approaching them and talking to them. That's all there is to it. A lot of guys make the mistake of going to the beach and just stare at women and they stroll up and down the beach not even smiling or saying, "Hi" to women as they walk along. They don't even stop to talk to a girl that catches their eye. They just don't have the guts to approach them. What's really sad is that these women are there to have a good time and attract the opposite sex. Why do you think they wear those skimpy bathing suits? It's to turn you on and show off their bodies. So be bold and aggressive and you'll be surprised how easy it is to meet and pick up single women at the beach. Now, I will describe some important techniques and strategies to use at the beach. Use them and you can't fail and you will have the summer of your life! It's important how you dress for the beach. Dress well and don't just wear a pair of old cut-offs with holes in them. Wear a nice designer bathing suit like you see in Playboy or GQ magazines. Also, while not sunning, wear a shirt or pullover appropriate for the beach such as a tank top or colorful T-shirt. Invest in some nice attractive sunglasses (not the cheap kind). Try on several different styles and select the one that makes you look unique and different. Now, you'll be all decked out for the beach and you'll stand out from the rest of the ordinary guys. What this means is that you'll attract the attention of all the hot & sexy beautiful women and that's exactly what you are striving for. You should bring some very important equipment that you'll use in meeting and picking up single women at the beach. These are as follows: ICE CHEST - This is your most important item. Fill it with beer, wine, mixed drinks in a can and soft drinks. You'll use this to offer a girl a drink when you've approached a girl. BLANKET - Bring a blanket big enough for you and a girl to lay on. Make sure it's clean and attractive and not old and smelly.
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FRISBEE, VOLLEYBALL, BEACH BALL, FOOTBALL - With these you can approach a girl and ask, "Want to play?" RADIO - This comes in handy. What to do is lay near a girl or group of single girls and turn on your radio. Then you ask, "What station would you like to hear?" This opens the door for further conversation and opportunities to get to know a girl and make your moves. BODY SURFING BOARD - These are known as boogie boards. They are inexpensive and made of styrofoam. Buy two of them. Approach a girl and ask if she'd like to do some body surfing. You can buy these at Toys R' Us. SURFBOARD - If you do surf this can be an advantage in meeting single women. Some girls are very attracted to surfers. Most girls don't know how to surf and have never even been on a surfboard. If you do surf, all you have to do is approach a girl and ask her, "would you like to learn how to surf?" If you don't know how to surf, you can always fake it. It will be a lot of fun trying anyway. SUNTAN OIL - Here's one that will always work. Approach a girl you are attracted to and ask her, "Would you rub some suntan oil on my back?" You'll never get turned down (as a general rule) and it really feels good having a girl rubbing your back. While walking on the beach looking for single girls for romance, when a girl catches your eye, give her a warm smile and say, "Hi." If she responds, whatever you do don't keep walking by. Stop immediately and start talking to her. Invite her over to your blanket and offer her something to drink or you can invite her to go in the water. Also, you can ask her if she wants to play some beach sports such as frisbee, volleyball, beach ball, body surfing, etc. If you pass a girl that you're interested in and she has her eyes closed, just approach her and say, "Weren't you on the cover of Cosmo?" She will be flattered and this opens up a conversation. In conclusion, I hope I've given you some new ideas you have never thought of before on how to meet and pick up hot & sexy beautiful single women at the beach. Happy Hunting!
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How to Meet & Pick Up Hot & Sexy Single Women at Swimming Pools
Swimming pools are one of the greatest places to meet all those hot & sexy single women in those skimpy bikinis you've been dreaming about. I'm going to be talking mainly about swimming pools at apartments, condos, country clubs, resorts, hotels and motels. Here's the techniques I used successfully to meet and pick up hot & sexy beautiful single women at the pool: You're going to need some very important equipment. Your appearance is also very important and you want to make a good impression upon entering the pool area. I would suggest wearing a pair of stylish swimming trunks. GQ, Playboy, and Penthouse magazines offer some good examples. Also, I would suggest wearing some nice thongs, sun glasses, an unusual hat, and a Hawaiian or surfer shirt. The idea is to create a refined look and not to look like a bum. Your most important item to bring with you is your ice chest. Stock it with an assortment of liquor. I'd suggest some beer, wine, coke, and pre-made mixed drinks that come in cans you can purchase at your local liquor store. Don't forget the plastic bar glasses! Also, bring your inflatable air mattress and an extra one if possible, and a good-sounding radio. OK, now you're looking the part and you've got all your attraction ammunition with you. Let's take it step-by-step using these proven techniques: You've entered the pool area. Make a complete circle around the pool to check out the available women. While you're walking and you catch the eye of a female you're attracted to, instantly remark, "Hi" or "Hello" or "It sure is a pretty day isn't it?" If you get a response, keep walking and make a circle and come back to her. When you return ask her, "Can I join you?" Most likely she won't mind. Introduce yourself and offer her a drink. Turn on your radio and ask her if there's any particular station she would like to listen to. To establish some physical contact, ask her to rub some suntan oil on your back. If you've played your cards right and turned on your charm and conversational skills, you should be on your way to some romance and fun in the sun.
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then and there. Don't waste any time or you'll see one woman after another walk right out of your life. Don't delay trying to pick up a woman or you might find yourself delaying all your life and depriving yourself of romance with hot & sexy single women. Get rid of the idea that people are always watching you, sizing you up and evaluating you. The only people who do this are shy people who spend a lot of time fearing that they are being evaluated negatively. The reason you think you are being watched is because you do this to others. The solution to breaking this habit is to stop judging and sizing people up and you will stop thinking that others are doing the same to you. Don't worry about people evaluating you unfavorably, because the reason for this is that they think they are better than you.
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Begin hanging out at the bars and lounges late at night in the most expensive hotels in your town. When you spot a special lady you are attracted to that's sitting alone, just approach her and simply ask, "Can I join you for some conversation?" Most likely she will welcome your company and you can talk to her about things in general, like her interests, career, why she is in town, goals, family, etc. Just keep talking to her and turn on your best charm and keep having drinks with her. At the end of the night, after she's had a few drinks and lost her inhibitions, don't be surprised if she invites you up to her room (of course you can always ask her if you can come up and tuck her into bed).
In conclusion, try this little known place to score with women that most men aren't even aware of. There will be golden opportunities to score with some drop-dead gorgeous businesswomen. Maybe it won't happen the first night, but if you will be persistent and keep hanging out in the bars and lounges, I can assure you that you will get lucky.
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How to Use Gymnastics and Tumbling Skills to Meet Tons of Hot & Sexy Single Women
One of the best ways I've found for attracting the admiration of and meeting women (especially cheerleaders/tumblers/gymnasts/etc.) is: Go to the gym/park/beach/etc. where there are women (especially those who are into athletic physiques). Practice/perform gymnastics/tumbling skills such as flips, splits, etc. as part of your workout/practice/jog/etc. Pretty soon, cute girls (most of who did cheerleading/tumbling/or gymnastics) will come up to you and say, "Wow, were you a gymnast?", etc., etc. The gymnastics (flips/splits/etc.) is just a universally admired conversation piece that cute girls will use to strike up a conversation with you. Also, wear a tank top to show off your muscles too. You and the girls will already have something in common (gymnastics/tumbling/cheerleading). Gymnastics is easily learned (3-8 weeks is average for learning a flip) so take lessons if you're not already a gymnast (it's about $40 a month) trust me, it's the best for attracting beautiful women (most of whom were also cheerleaders/tumblers/dancers, etc.).
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Mind Training
How to Handle Rejection From Women
Rejection, rejection by a woman, rejection by the woman, the woman who has captured your thoughts, the woman whose smile sends shivers of warmth down your spine, the woman whose touch you dream of ... this icy doom fills you with dread. It is the utter desolation of helplessness. It is the worm of self-doubt. It is the gripping fear that warns you to abandon hope. Rejection is a part of everyday life. People are turned down for raises, refused promotions, declined for loans, and passed over for recognition. Rejection is not final. Rejection is not ruin. Indeed, rejection can be the precursor to eventual success. There is nothing personal about rejection. It happens to everyone. It is part of "the cost of doing business". It is intimately connected with risk taking. Every worthwhile endeavor at some point involves the risk of failure. This is what makes life interesting. It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true. Consider a rejection as a "second opinion" of sorts. The woman who rejects you might well have sounder judgment in the matter of a possible relationship than you. She may have compelling reasons for her conclusion that you are ill suited for each other, saving the both of you a great deal of future grief. This does not, of course, mean you are worthless as a person, just that she was not meant for you, and that you should find someone else. There are techniques that can remove some of the sting from the fear of rejection. Simply "scoping the situation out", proceeding in small steps, rather than taking the grand plunge all at once is a prudent method of risk management. Asking a woman you have just met to become intimately involved with you is an enterprise almost certain to fail. Asking her to share five minutes over a cup of coffee is a more modest proposal, one much more likely to meet with her approval (after that, she may hint, or even let you know outright if she is willing to go farther). Tackle tricky situations in small increments. When you do face rejection, and you will, accept it with good cheer. Bounce back and try again (presumably with a different woman). Continued life experience will desensitize you to the trauma of having doors slammed in your face. You learn to survive. You learn to go on. You learn to keep trying.
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Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.
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Why You Should Consider Dating & Pursuing Relationships With Single Women You Are Not Normally Attracted to
Popular culture depicts a sleek, long legged, big-breasted, nubile blonde as the ideal love partner... just the type of fantasy woman who would turn up her nose at the shy man, and why not, as she could choose from any number of ruggedly handsome socially adept men...These are the "beautiful people," a world unto themselves, unapproachable, narcissistic, smug, and far removed from reality. Shy men are well advised to stay clear of this particular crowd. Consider instead single women outside the mainstream. Fellow social outcasts, they are real people who have had to grapple with life's hardships, to endure pain, to choke on embarrassment, to feel the lash of rejection...just as you have. Struggling with problems, rebounding from failure, learning by necessity to fight - all this develops the personality, forces one to grow, to become fully human, to become capable of loving and worthy of being loved. "Ugly" single women glow with a serene inner beauty. Their faces are a study in rococo sculpture, an unfamiliar language of landscape and form, an intricate and convoluted road map of life itself. Their bodies hold promise of hidden delights. Their spirits reach out in too-long denied explosive passion. Fat single women are round and cuddly. Lush and sensuous, warm and accepting, they radiate love. Their endless flowing curves, impossible to encompass save by caress, express the very essence of femaleness. Soft and yielding, ever so much more squeezable than their sharp-edged bony sisters, they submerge you in their embrace, their embrace, oh, so sweet, the Primeval Ocean, the source of life. Older single women make better lovers, as celebrated in song and folklore. Their life skills uplift shy youthful lovers past barriers of fear and inexperience. Unexcelled as nurturers and teachers, they bestow patience and understanding. They care. Women of different races and cultures blend an aura of the exotic with a tinge of the forbidden. Diversity adds color to a relationship, and a touch of the strange lends spice and excitement to the flowering of intimacy. In closing, I hope you don't fall into the trap that thinking you must date single women that look like the naked women in Playboy in order for you to be happy in a relationship. You would be surprised that by dating women that you are not normally attracted to can bring you happiness and love beyond your wildest dreams.
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Why You Should Not Wear Masks When Meeting Single Women
Let's say you do find a hot & sexy single girl you want to meet who wants to meet you too. You start up a conversation. Since we've all been conditioned to start acting in a way that will create the best impression, especially when we first meet people, putting on a "mask" or facade is virtually unavoidable. Especially in that "first-meeting" situation, it's hard for most of us to be ourselves. We all want to be liked, so we try to act like what we guess that other person will consider both acceptable and appealing. We're not sure, but at least if she rejects my mask, so the logic goes, she still hasn't rejected me. In other words, the mask is also a defense. Yet, what if the masks may be perfect for each other, while the people behind them are not truly compatible at all? A serious problem arises if you fall in love with each other's masks because eventually, both he and she will come out from behind their masks and slip back into being the person they really are! Then, the relationship is over. And here is another problem that wearing masks cause: Suppose you don't like the mask that the other person is wearing. With a mask being used as a defense, you never really get to know the real person underneath, when all the while the real person underneath might be very compatible with you. In other words, masks get in the way! Guessing about what people are really like and what they would like to see in you takes a lot of energy. Wearing masks causes tension. Wearing masks requires a lot of effort and wastes a lot of time keeping up the front. When you are genuine and authentic, life gets much easier and is certainly much more fun. So, for this week's tips I am strongly urging you to be yourself when meeting single women. Don't try to be someone you are not. You're true personality is going to come out in the end and it's best that she is exposed to the true you in the beginning so there will not be any surprises later on in the relationship.
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"Yes. . ." "Oh, I see . . ." "Uh, huh. . ." "Then what?"
Learn to rephrase what she has just said. This shows interest and ensures that you understand. Take the last event or idea and summarize it in one sentence. "So, you booked this ski trip on a whim? Right out of the blue?" "Let me get this straight. You have three jobs? One full time and two part time?" "You mean you just walked up to your roommate and said you were moving out that night?" You get the idea. Another variation is to ask for verification of your understanding. You could ask her to repeat part of what she said or ask if your rephrasing is correct. This is a very powerful and useful conversational technique. By the way a side benefit is that is takes a lot of pressure off of you.
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Why Being Short Should Not Interfere With You Meeting, Dating, Attracting Single Women for Romance
Height What is the secret ingredient that will attract you to single women without you uttering a single word irrespective of what you wear or what you do for a living or how overweight you may be? It is your HEIGHT. How tall you are is very, very important to women. Now before all you short guys go out and commit suicide I will tell you there are still many single women you can date and marry. When you think about height being important I can imagine a lot of you guys getting very angry. If you are overweight you can go on a diet and lose weight to become more attractive to women. If you are poor you may be able to get a job or gain a promotion to become richer. You can then dress better. If you smoke you can give up the cigarettes and if you are an alcoholic you can give up the booze. There is no damn way you are going to get any taller though. Wearing shoes with high heels just accentuates your lack of height and telegraphs to both men and women how self conscious you are about your height. So you get angry at women wanting something in you that you can't change. That is the way I felt but the solution is to date single women that are the same height as you or shorter. Easy. Protection The reason women enjoy the company of men that are their height or taller goes way back when men were expected to protect, shelter and provide for women. A somewhat outdated notion now but elements of this mentality exist subconsciously in women's minds today. Women think how can a man who is short protect and shelter me from harm? Taller men are perceived to have more muscle and more strength. Women feel safer snuggling in the arms of a man who can surround them and protect them from outside elements. Some women feel that this is "natural" and feel more "comfortable" this way. Some men also feel like this. Some men also find taller women intimidating. The good thing is that shorter men can still provide women with all these needs. All a guy needs is a shorter woman and he can provide women with the same feelings a guy 12 inches taller can provide to a taller woman. Shorter Is Better You are now thinking, great, now I've got to eliminate all those tall, leggy, slender single women that I crave for. Don't look at it that way. I prefer to look at it in a more positive way. The more astute reader is going to realize that chasing taller women, who are not interested in shorter men anyway, is a complete waste of time. You can utilize your time
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better by chatting only to single women shorter or the same size as you. Don't forget to allow for the additional height women gain by wearing high heeled shoes when judging a woman's height. Believe me they are some very attractive and desirable shorter women around. Some of them are as pretty and as cute as can be and they aren't necessarily overweight. So the next time you enter a nightclub or bar don't even look at the taller women - head straight to the nearest women who are the same height as you or shorter. Less Competition You'll find that even a lot of the taller men don't bother with women who are a great deal shorter than them. That leaves you with less competition. The guys 6' 3" and above are chasing the women 5' 10" or taller. If you are 5' 10" then any woman from 5' 4" to 5' 10" is your go. Not a bad range is it? If you are 5' 6" or less that still leaves you with plenty of women to meet. One thing you should always remember is that men are generally taller than women anyway. Another thing you need to know is that the taller the woman the more likely it is that she will prefer the company of a taller man. A 6' 0'' woman is more likely to be with a taller man than a woman say 5' 8" or 5' 6". I have observed the taller a woman is the less tolerant she is towards shorter men. Dazzle With Personality If you do really fancy a woman who is taller than you there is still hope. Remember that women prefer personality to looks. If you have personality you may be able to dazzle her with it and overcome her natural preference for taller men. You will have to work very hard at it though as it is likely she will not be as responsive and open to you as she would be from an approach from a taller man. If you have a sense of humor she can relate to or some other personality traits she cannot resist you still have a chance. You had better be quick of the mark because if your fantastic personality doesn't come to the fore quickly you'll find she'll soon tire of you and begin to look elsewhere. There are exceptions to the rule that single women prefer men the same height as them or taller but 9 times out of 10 you will find single women in the company of men who are taller than them. One of my ex-girlfriends is an example of this as she is 5' 8" and I am 5' 6". Height had nothing to do with our relationship, either in the courting or separating stages but I find this is the exception rather than the rule. Tests To prove to yourself height is important there are 4 easy tests you can conduct to prove this. Ask women friends at work or within your family of all the men they have dated and/or married how many have been shorter than them. Invariably they will say very few, if any.
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Go to shopping centers or just walk down the street and look at people who are obviously couples and observe who is the taller in the relationship. In most cases the boyfriend or husband will be the taller. Look at as many personal ads as you can and see how many single women put in a height or height range requirement of the men they would prefer to meet. You'll find many have such a requirement. If you look at men's ads height is hardly mentioned as a desirable physical characteristic The final test, and the most beneficial to you, is to restrict yourself to shorter women and see how much more positive women's responses to you will be. Shorter women will more likely give you a chance to impress them. It is sad watching men at nightclubs and bars chasing women 6 inches or more taller than them and continually getting the brush off. These guys invariably keep trying using all their best lines and techniques - all to no avail. They keep on chasing all the tall women all night when all they have to do is turn around and open their eyes to all the shorter women who find them attractive. These single women are hoping these men would give them all the protection, security and shelter they seek. Conclusion So remember that height is important to single women. You can be mildly overweight or obese or partially or completely bald and have a better chance with a shorter women than any shorter guy has with a taller woman. Don't waste your time reaching for what you can't have and stick to the attainable. Lastly, don't go around complaining about your height. It is not you that has a problem with your height. It is women who have a "thing" about height. It may be a subconscious thing to women but in many cases it is a major concern nevertheless. What you need to do is turn that women's "thing" into your favor. The best way to do it is to concentrate only on single women who find your height acceptable. Don't carry on about your perceived lack of height as people will only say you are suffering from "Small Man's Syndrome". That is the last thing you want.
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Body Training
Clothing
You need a least one good suit. It may take a while to find the right one and pay for it, but make it a goal. It should be made of one hundred percent wool and be very dark. You can use it for a variety of situations including weddings and New Year's Eve. Buy on sale, but spend as much as you can for a top label. It will last for years. Your new suit should fit perfectly. This is key. Buy it where they have a good tailor. Ask around. Be sure to tip him. It will eventually pay off. Buy a good quality white shirt. Be sure to buy the right neck size. Check with a tape measure. Invest in an expensive (about forty dollars) silk tie. Learn to tie a double Windsor knot. You will look great. You will also need a pair of dark dress socks and a pair of good dress shoes, preferably black. These should always be freshly shined and ready to wear.
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Exercise
How do you fit all this exercise into your life? If you are not exercising at all, here is a good starting plan. Try to start with 30 minutes of exercise three times each week. It is best to start walking two of those days, and do some strength training one day. Target all the major muscle groups with one set each. Always include some stretching at the end of every workout. What is most important first is establishing the habit of exercise! After you have accomplished this for three months, lengthen one of your walking sessions to include both walking and weights. This will give you one day of walking, one day of weights and one day of both. Follow this for up to six weeks. Your next goal should be to increase your walking time on the your walking only day. Increase it in five minutes increments to 45 minutes or one hour, depending on your time availability. Follow this schedule another six weeks. Next, on your lifting only day, increase the intensity (weight) of your exercises. Work to momentary muscle fatigue within 8-12 reps. Follow this for two to six weeks, then increase the volume on this day by adding a second set to your exercises. At this time you may feel that you can add another day of exercise or try a yoga class.
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Hygene
Are You Aware That Bad Breath Can Prevent You From Scoring With Single Women?
If you have bad breath, this can be a major turn-off when you are trying to meet and pick up single women. And the main problem is that you may not even be aware that you have bad breath which can instantly ruin your chances of attracting and dating all those hot & sexy single women of your dreams. At the end of this article I will show you how to test your breath. "Over a 24-hour period, everyone has bouts of bad breath," said Carol Meyer, a dental hygienist and president of Personal Breath Consultants Inc., based in Long Island, NY. The American Dental Association estimates that 40 percent of adults - 85 million Americans - have chronic bad breath. The most common cause of bad breath is bacteria, trapped food between the teeth, and poor dental hygiene. Today, Americans spend more than $1 billion each year on rinses, mints and gums to to make their breath fresher. Unfortunately, these are only short-term fixes. "They temporarily help," said Dr. Richard Haydon, a University of Kentucky ear, nose and throat specialist. Mouthwashes, for instance, will last less than an hour. Haydon also cautions that most mouthwashes contain alcohol, which can irritate the tissues of the mouth. Ironically, excess alcohol also causes bad breath, so people who use excessive amounts of mouthwashes with alcohol might end up with worse breath than they started with. There's only one way for most people to control bad breath: "Immaculate oral hygiene," Dr. Ted Raybould, a University of Kentucky dentist said. That includes brushing twice daily for at least two minutes each time, making sure to hit all areas of every tooth. "And flossing's the biggest one," Raybould said. "Food gets stuck between the teeth and starts to rot." Tongue cleaning is also important in eliminating bad breath. Tooth brushes aren't really designed to clean the tongue, especially the back areas of the tongue, where offensive bacteria collects. The best way to clean the tongue is by using tongue cleaners you can purchase from your dentists, drug store, and other outlets. A University of Toronto study found that tongue cleaning reduced sulfur gases and offensive odor by 75 percent - 50 percent more than just brushing.
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It is also recommended while brushing your teeth that you gently brush inside the cheeks and gums and the roof of the mouth. Using the advice contained in this article should eliminate any bad breath problems that can affect your dating and love life. If you follow this program for good dental hygiene and you still have bad breath, then perhaps you have a medical problem that causes bad breath and you should see your doctor. So, how can you tell if you have bad breath? There are three easy ways, according to Meyer, a leading breath consultant:
Lick your wrist and take a whiff of it. Swab the inside of your cheeks or tongue with a piece of gauze or cotton swab and sniff. Floss with unscented dental floss and smell the floss.
Trust me, this is the most accurate method of testing your breath. Breathing into your cupped hands and taking a whiff is not accurate. I just can't stress to you enough how important it is to not have bad breath when you're trying to meet, attract, date, and seduce single women. I know you may think it's a pain in the ass to take care of your teeth and tongue, but it's worth it because you certainly don't want to become a failure with women because of something that you can easily correct.
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In Closing, don't overlook this easy way to improve your lovelife and attract single women like a magnet. Try these girl-getting colognes! They work!
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Big smiles with upper and lower teeth showing with a relaxed face. She gazes in your eyes with deep interest and her pupils are dilated (this could be mistaken for being high on drugs). Biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, licking her lips or touching of her front teeth. While talking to you she is slowly stroking her cocktail glass up and down with her thumb and index finger. If she is wearing clothes that shows her nipples underneath and you notice they are getting perky and erect. She starts sitting straight up and her muscles appear to be firm. Her crossed leg is pointed towards you or if that same leg is rocking back and forth towards you. She raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours. She rubs her chin or touches her cheek. This indicates that she's thinking about you and her relating in some way. She blows smoke straight out from between her lips and toward you. She winks at you while talking to you or winks at you from a distance. She exposes the palms of her hand facing you. She twirls her hair around her fingers while she is looking at you. Her skin tone becomes red while being around you. She rubs her wrists up and down. She puts her fingernail between her teeth. She laughs in unison with you. She touches your arm, shoulder, thigh, or hand while talking to you. Plays with her jewelry, especially with stroking and pulling motions. She mirrors your body language and body positions. Eyebrows raised and then lowered, then a smile usually indicates interest in you. While talking to you, she rest an elbow in the palm of one hand, while holding out her other hand, palm up.
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In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you. While talking to you, she blinks more than usual, fluttering her eyelashes. She speeds up or slows down her speaking to match yours.
I know this is a lot of signs to look for, but this will be to your advantage to know if she's interested in you. If she's not truly interested in you, you will just be wasting your time on her. Memorize these positive signs to determine if she's got the "hots" for you and take advantage of the situation accordingly with your charm and seduction techniques.
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10 Top Negative Body Languages Signs that Single Women Give to Indicate That She is Not Interested in You
You lean towards her and she leans back away from you. She starts turning away from you. She doesn't make eye contact with you. She folds her arms across her chest. Double crosses her legs at the ankle. She touches her nose often while she's with you. A limp or hanging hand can indicate boredom with you. When talking to you, her eyes keep glancing at other guys around her. She makes no effort to talk to you. She doesn't reply to any of your comments, doesn't answer your questions, and doesn't ask any questions about yourself. Unless she just doesn't feel good or is moody this could indicate that she's not interested in you and you will be wasting your time. And last, she just come out an tell you to get lost, go away, go to hell, or ever worse, to fuck off!
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Opening Lines
Dating Tips on How to Talk to Single Women
Before you'll be meeting new single women for love and romance, take an inventory of the things that are important to you, and that you'd like to talk about. What are you excited about now? What changes are taking place in your life? What have been the most important events or people in your life? What future plans are you most enthusiastic about? Why do you feel the way you do about things? What are your concerns? What is your vision for the future? What are your likes and preferences? The answers to these questions tell her how you relate to the world around you. Be specific, so that your conversational partner gets a lot of free information to pick up on. Communicate your enthusiasm. Disclose some of your feelings and values.
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Opening lines
Work out a personal "opening line" and try it with endless variations. Some men need the support, the crutch, of a definite "line" in approaching and winning a woman. If you do, give a good deal of thought to this while you're working, reading, traveling. Formulate a number of possibly effective opening lines in your mind and then sit down with a pencil and paper and write them down. Practice them out loud before a mirror until you get just the phraseology which sounds most natural, smooth, spontaneous and attractive. Practice delivering it in private aloud until you can use it as if it has just occurred to you in response to this particular woman. Go out and practice it, but with the freedom and confidence to vary it imaginatively to fit every new situation and woman. Here's a few great opening lines to use when you run across a single woman you would like to meet:
Bars and nightclubs - "Do you want to dance?" If she says no, whatever you do, don't just walk away. Follow up with, "If you don't want to dance, do you mind if I join you for some conversation?" Nightclubs with "live" music - "What do you think of the band?" Restaurants - "This is my first time here. What's good on the menu?" Another one you could use is, "Would you like to go have a drink after dinner?" Beaches - "Would you like to play some Frisbee?" or "I'm going to the store, can I bring you back anything?" Supermarkets - "Excuse me, which steak looks better to you?" or "How do you tell which one of these cantaloupes is ripe?" Laundromats - "Would you like to go have a cup of coffee while we're waiting for our clothes?" or "Could you tell me if I should wash these clothes in hot or cold water?"
Pick out a successful Don Juan in your crowd and study his style. Don't ask him questions. He probably doesn't know himself how he does it. But try to go on "womanhunting expeditions" with him. Go to dances, parties, the beach, with him. Try to arrange some double dates together. Take advantage of every opportunity to watch him in action and study intensively, remember, rehearse in your own mind, every line and gesture in his technique with single women.
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Nightclubs And Discos "May I have this dance?" (provided of course, you know how to.) If she says no, whatever you do, don't just give up. Follow up with, "Sure, mind if I join you for some conversation?" Concerts "What do you think of the band/orchestra?" If you know something about the music playing (ex, Classical), you could add, "The quartet's rendition of Vivaldi's Four Seasons is quite extraordinary. It's been a long time since I've heard such beauty." Never ever insult the music. This will only make you seem overly critical and annoying.
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Joke pick up lines This lines are good for joking around if you want a girl that enjoys a good laugh this could be very useful. WARNING!!!! If you use this it is at your own risk! I do not guarantee 100% satisfaction, ah heck I don't even guarantee 1% satisfaction. Besides the risk of getting slapped is high. Well on to the lines: 1)You: Hey, you wanna go out for pizza and screw? *she slaps you* You: What you don't like pizza? 2)If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays? 3)I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag. 4)How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized? 5) You: Are you good at math? Her: No. (this is the typical answer, but if they answer yes you're screwed)You: Oh really, well, I'll tutor... first equation, lets add you and me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply. More joke pick up lines "You shouldn't run around looking like that or one of us sex-starved young men might attack you." Said this with a grin. "Think you can dance in those shoes?" (Nice, macho line. Works best on mean women you've seen once or twice before, instead of "Have I seen you somewhere?") "Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you." "Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?" "I'm into astrology. What's your sign?" "What a lovely dog! Does it have a phone?" Classick lines "If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" "I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little." "The first time I saw you, I could sense that there was a strong emotional bond between the two of us."
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"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about the synchronocity of multiple orgasms?" "You've got the bluest eyes I've ever seen." "I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot." "Not only am I rude and tasteless and trying to get you into bed, but I'm also being paid for it." "Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?" "Have you ever had sex underwater?" "I know a great way to burn off the 300 calories in that pastry you just ate." "I'm learning Latin; would you like to come home with me and help me practice oral declinsions?" "Do you wanna fuck or do you have herpes?" "You've got nice tits; wanna fuck?"
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Flirting
Conversational Icebreakers
In bars and dance clubs, instead of asking: "Can I buy you a drink" (shows lack of imagination) Ask instead, "Have you ever had (tried) a Tequila Sunrise?" Select the most exotic, unknown drink you can think of. If they say no they have not tried it, ask them if you could get their opinion on it. Why this is better than the first question is because first you are asking their opinion and secondly, because a direct offer to buy implies a return obligation on their part. For the Older Gang: Did you have a color television when you were a kid. What was the babys name on The Flintstones or similar question: This will almost always generate further conversation. For the younger gang, a similar question can relate to a more recent TV show or movie. In the produce department, "How can you tell if these things are ripe?" There are all kinds of grocery questions you can ask and you will almost always get a response but taking this to the next level at the supermarket can be tricky. Women do not always wear their wedding band to the grocery and the husband or wife may be merely lurking on the next aisle. If the coast seems clear, direct the conversation towards food - a universal subject of interest. This is too soon to invite them over or out for dinner. It works much better to invite them (especially if the intended date is female) to a group setting and suggest they bring along a friend. You will call them with the date, time and place. At the laundromat: "How much bleach should I put in with my good shirt". Girls can always ask for help from guys in lifting things. This seems to be universally appreciated by guys, being such simple creatures that they are... Meeting someone thru sports: The gym, tennis court, golf course, lake, swimming pool, bowling alley, jogging lane, horseback riding, auto races, horse track, running, etc. The advantage is that both parties already know they have something in common. The disadvantage is that people engage in sports often to unwind and get away from people. If you approach the first time they have seen you there, you will probably get shot down. A simple greeting the first few times may be enough and then extend the conversation every so slightly each time. Of course, if they show no interest in talking to you, don't be
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a boob and keep bothering them. They will spread the word about you and you will be dead meat at that location forevermore. Meeting someone in a group at public events. A safe avenue of future contact. In fact, most young people do not initially date anymore; they just meet someone, usually in the company of others. Small groups of people meet at various places and some eventually pair off. This has been going on forever, but this trend is more common now than it has even been in the past. Besides being safer, this phenomenon is very comfortable and effective because the group itself becomes the icebreaker. Date in pairs or in small groups: This is an extension of meeting in small groups. This phenomenon is also very old and used to be referred to as double dating. At the early dating stage, this is very reassuring and it still works. An offer of an informal first date within a small group has a lower chance of rejection than a romantic dinner at an expensive restaurant. The latter is very serious for the initial stage of dating and runs the risk of too many mistakes and mutual embarrassment. Friend to friend contacts: Many dates are actually arranged via the grapevine. Someone who knows someone who knows someone makes a referral or gives a reference, shares a phone number or even makes the arrangements. Women tend to use this method more than men probably because females are by nature more cooperative; whereas, men are more competitive and therefore more reluctant to share contacts. It is also a known fact (so prove us wrong) that males who have more lady friends tend to get more dates than males who have fewer non-romantic lady friends. So, let your friends be your guide. They may not always choose right, but you will get you more dates.
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If you get that infamous line - "I just want to be friends" - you are dead in the water. What she's really saying is - "I have absolutely no lust for you and am horrified at the thought of swapping spit let alone anything else with you, but hey, if I'm bored on a Saturday night, sure, you can treat me to a movie, drinks and dinner. Oh, and don't pick me up late, you loser." She loves you ... She makes an effort to like your friends She may have to grit her teeth but she will make a concerted effort to like your friends because they're important to you. She is an avid follower of "The Rules" ... She loves you not If she follows "The Rules" with a zealot's fervor, beware. This is manipulation at it's absolute finest. She loves you ... She is always there for you No matter what's going on in your life (or hers), she encourages your dreams, supports your decisions and gives you great backrubs. She is a material girl ... She loves you not If she runs out at the mere thought that your money might be running out, say good riddance and let her go. You're better off without her. She loves you ... She says so, even after you've acted like a complete jerk! You, of course, did beg most humbly for her forgiveness and meant it!
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Do you see the importance of listening now? You must concentrate on what she says and block everything else out of your mind. If you listen you never have to worry about what to say next because the other person is "telling" you exactly what to say. Kim even subtly indicated that she was attracted to Bob (or at least not repulsed by him). How? She didn't blow him off. She gave him some free information to talk to her about. This may have been a conscious decision on her part or it may have been a somewhat unconscious act. In any event, Bob didn't pick up on it and blew his chances with her. Keep in mind that if a woman likes you or would like to get to know you better, she will give you free information to follow up on. She will throw out some seeds for you to water. If she's not attracted to you, she won't give you much of anything and it will be very difficult to maintain a decent conversation with her. No matter how charming you are, if she doesn't "help you out some" you'll eventually have to admit defeat and walk away. So be sure to listen for the topics she'd like to discuss. Now in order to converse for maximum attraction, you need to keep two other things in mind. You need to tell her about yourself. And you need to maintain a proper talk/listen ratio. You may have heard or read somewhere that people like to talk about themselves and that you should spend most of your time listening and asking questions if you want others to like you. This is true... to a certain extent. People do like to talk about themselves and they do like those who listen, ask questions, and seem interested in what they're saying. But, if you're goal is to charm this lady, you've got to do more than that. You've got to tell her something about yourself. Specifically, you've got to "tell her" that you two are very much alike. You do this by making "me-too" statements. That is, it is desirable to bring yourself into the conversation when you can relate yourself to something she's talking about or make yourself seem similar to her. For example: Kim: I really miss Miami. Jim: I can imagine. I spent two weeks in Miami last summer. I loved it. Even thought about moving there myself. Jim is smooth. Jim didn't ask a question (this time). He told Kim something about himself that made him seem similar to her. Now if Jim has also been listening and asking questions, then he's probably doing very well with Kim.
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Personal Space
We maintain several zones of personal space depending on our comfort level. We will let anyone, other than terrorists, to remain more than five feet out of range. We are effectively ignoring these people. Of course, this range may be used for distance flirting. In a business or social setting we expect people to remain two to four feet away to maintain a comfort level. This is where you need to be in the initial stages of flirting. When signs of success are obvious and you think you are invited, you can move into the intimate zone - an arm's length or less. In general, single women will not allow anyone this close unless they are very comfortable and very interested. If you get to this point it is a very good sign. Do your best to stay here as long as possible.
Advices on Flirting
I hear all the time from men and women who don't understand the rules of the game. A lot of the time they aren't even aware of the game going on around them. Read on for some tips about getting started. There's even good advice for experience flirts here.
Dear Lorenzo,
I am absolutely useless at the game, what do I do? I don't know how to get girls interested in me, and if they were interested in me, I would not know. I just feel that I cannot talk to them properly, or get worried about saying certain things. This makes me get nervous, and I start to stutter. It also has made me go around thinking that I am not interested in checking out girls, but really I am. I am a Picean, and I'm 23, if this helps, so could you help? Picean
Dear Picean,
Don't worry! You just need practice at the game of flirting! Most of us truly effective flirts have only become so with years of study and practice! The first step, which you've completed, is recognizing that you don't have your skills perfected and you'd like to improve upon them, and then asking for the help you need! Sometimes we look in the media and assume that women admire and desire those outwardly-flirtatious men like the charming playboy or the gruff, protective hero. In reality, women don't really want to deal with someone who is so into his image, who is overdone, who is aggressive, or who thinks he knows it all. So you are actually ahead of the game with your humbleness, sensitivity, and inquisitiveness!
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Here are ten qualities that describe a successful male flirt (from The Art of Flirting by J. Jillson):
He is comfortable in his environment and projects ease and stability. He has a soft voice. He is confident enough to reveal something about himself. He has a real interest in women, their opinions, and talking about rather mundane things. He is honest and can be counted on to do what he says he'll do. He has good manners. He is curious about a woman and wants to know her opinions. He has the ability to tune the world out when he is with his beloved. He knows when to end the flirtation. He knows that little things count flowers, a good-night call, etc.
My bet is that you already possess some of these qualities and didn't realize that you are already a flirt! Now that you know, start trying things out! First off, you need to place yourself in environments where you can practice your flirting and find out which techniques work best for you. Join a drama class at the local junior college, find and visit a singles' group, go grocery shopping or do your laundry at a laundromat on Friday or Saturday night, talk with your friends and go on "group dates." Remember that flirting is also used platonically, so practice with family or friends too! Just get out there and start flirting! Be confident, talk, have fun! Confidence is the number one turn on for both men and women. Treat yourself to a birthday present this month and give yourself the gift of flirtatious fun. Stop worrying so much about if you're doing it right, or if your flirting is "working," what other people think, or what sexual orientation you are! Practice makes perfect ... go for it!
Dear Lorenzo
I am in need of your advice. There is a lady at my place of business whom I am interested in. I rarely have a chance to "chat" with her, and I would really like to get to know her better. She may be interested in me, she continues to give me long looks and is constantly smiling or giggling around me. But I don't know for sure. Would you please help me out. Sincerely, PDN
Dear PDN
Yes, sir! The lady is indeed interested. The next time she smiles, smile back big, with something extra: a nod, or simply walk over to her. If you have not been
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officially introduced, say something like, "I know we know each other's names, but have we formally introduced ourselves? You say you rarely have a chance to chat? Is this because you are at work and there is no time, and too many people around? Try these conversation openers, modified as appropriate: "How did work go today?" "How was your weekend? Do anything special?" "I certainly appreciate your friendly smile. Are you having a good day?" You must exchange a bit of small talk two or three times, then it will be natural to ask her to accompany you on a coffee or lunch break. If she is not interested, you'll know it by her response.
Dear Lorenzo,
I have a question ... currently, I am going to a technical school to learn a new trade. I have been there for a few months and will be going a few more. Getting to the point, there is an administrator there who I find very attractive, but I am also very shy. She approached me last week and we chatted for a few minutes. Being shy, I hide my attraction to her. How can I "hint" to her that I am interested in her without being too ... forward, in case she may be involved? I don't want to be embarrassed since I still have to go there to finish my education. But I don't want to forget how I feel and let it go either. What should I do? Troubled Tom
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letting her get to know you. Perhaps you could suggest having a cup of coffee or tea together to finish that interesting conversation the two of you started. It will not take much to give her the hint that you are interested in her if you want to talk with her, ask her advice, and share interesting things with her. Going out of your way to make contact with her about things that may seem silly or mundane to others is a sure hint that someone is interested in you. Relax and be confident. After all, she has already made the first move! Now she is just waiting for a mutually-flirtatious move back from you!
Dear Lorenzo,
I'm a 25-year-old man. Besides talk, what is the most important element of a man's charm? Is it the clothing, physical appearance or .... what? Thanks for revealing this everlasting mystery for me! Mario
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These powerful aphrodisiacs really turn single women on and put them in a romantic mood for seduction. You will need to go to the store and buy an assortment of scented candles and incense. Then when you have the women over at your place, get her opinion on which scent she likes before you light the candles and incense. After she has made her selection light them up and the erotic and stimulating scents will fill the air. Now, all you have to do is dim the lights, put a log in the fireplace, and put on some romantic music. With this romantic atmosphere you should be irresistible to women. And don't make the mistake of thinking candles and incense are for sissies. Women are very attracted to these romantic gestures and the bottom line is preparing single women for your advances.
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How to Attract and Seduce Single Women With Poetry for Romance and Love
I know what you may be thinking. Poetry is for wimps. All single women in general love poetry and one of the fastest ways to a woman's heart is using poetry. I can assure you that if you use poetry on her she won't think that you're a wimp. She will be impressed! When should you give her a poem? Give her a poem to remember you by when you meet women in nightclubs, at the beach, parties, near closing time at bars and nightclubs, or when you're leaving the club, etc. Here are some good poems to write on a piece of paper (try to avoid using napkins, use nice paper) to give to her: To: ____________(her name) It takes the Sun and the Rain, to make the flowers grow. It takes the Moon and the Stars, to make the Heavens glow. It takes a wish, and lots of hard work to make a Dream come true. And to make my Life really happy, it takes a "Sweet" and "Lovely" girl like you! * This poem below is my personal favorite poem that worked best for me on single women in bars and nightclubs. Also, I used this poem successfully on topless dancers in the topless clubs: To:_____________(her name) Some girls are nice, Some girls are "Sweet," And some are "Dear as can be." And once in a great while, a girl like _____(her name) comes along, Who happens to be "All Three!" To:______________(her name)
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You make me feel.... like something special, because you are. To:______________(her name) I'll tell you my fantasy, it's an evening for two, anywhere...with you. Be sure and put your name and phone number on the back of the poem with a message such as: I'd like to get to know you better. Call me and let's meet for lunch. I'll be disappointed if you don't call. It might not be a good idea to sign your full name to these poems. An angry boyfriend or husband may come looking for you if he finds it. If you're absolutely sure she doesn't have a boyfriend or husband, then go ahead and sign your full name. It's a judgment call.
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How to Seduce Single Women With Food for Love and Romance
The art of Dating is similar to the perfect Culinary experience. The first, date, encompasses all of your senses, visual, smell, taste, touch, and hearing. The Art of food includes all of these senses. When, you meet the perfect mate, and make the first date, you want a memorable evening, which allows the magic, the chemistry, to develop. This is often done through dining. So it is very important to choose the proper wine, interesting food, which is presented in a manner to tease the senses, and delight the oral fixation of the palette. The table is a place to have a conversation that flows like fine wine. It is a place of comfort and relaxation. So, with proper planning, you can establish a relationship which can develop into the long romantic evening. Like, the ones we read about, or hear our friends talk about. So lets look at the reasons you would rater cook at home for your date, inlue of dinning out. To do the work, to make a meal for a date is far more intimate than heading out to your local Bistro. It can be done with ease and your results will be rewarded. As far as what to serve, that can be discussed on an individual basis. Setting the mood, it needs to be done with panache. I would create a check list, from the flowers for the table, to the wood for the fire place. Then the setting, the music, even the aroma in your home, needs to be established, so the proper mood is developed. Guys, do not forget the clean towels, for the hot tub. Time is the most important factor, do not rush through the meal, savor each course, relax between course, make it a dining experience, you have all evening, it is like a fine wine. It is like a kiss, your mind races, you make that first connection, that feeling in your heart, such excitement. It allows you get up from the table, interact, the act of serving, is very romantic, do it with style. Make each plate look gorgeous it only takes a second longer. So, get a date, cook at home. Romance is wonderful, your personal touch, will make the evening, an event. Love is only a plate away.
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Yo mamma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up. Yo mamma so fat she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller. Yo mamma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized. Yo mamma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell, "Taxi!" Yo mamma so fat she has to iron her pants on the driveway. Yo mamma so fat the National Weather Bureau has to assign hurricane names to her farts. Yo mamma so fat she sets off car alarms when she runs. Yo mamma so fat that her senior pictures had to be aerial views. Yo mamma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride her. Yo mamma so fat she has her own area code. Yo mamma so fat that when she sat on a quarter a booger shot out of George Washington's nose. Yo mamma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs.
Wouldn't you agree these are hilarious? The women will think so too. However, if she is fat I would use these jokes with caution. It may backfire on you and she may kick your ass or even sit on your face and smother you to death!
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How to Attract Single Women for Love and Romance Using Your Shoes
Guys, I just can't stress to you enough how important it is to a single woman how your shoes look. Why? Because women are obsessed with shoes. Just look in their closets and I'm sure you will find tons of shoes for every occasion. Shoes are very important to single women. They spend a lot of time shopping for them, talking about them (especially to other women), and spend a lot of time trying to figure out which shoes to wear with each outfit. Being that women focus a lot on shoes, they will judge you by the shoes you wear and how they look in appearance. If you wear scuffed, unpolished, or out of date shoes, you're going to make a bad impression and that's the last thing you want to do. Part of the art of attracting women for love, romance, and a potential relationship is making a good impression on them. Even worse, if you want to really turn single women off, wear dirty sneakers. I even had a friend that used to wear old unsightly golf shoes on dates. Don't do it! I highly recommend these following guidelines for attracting single women with shoes:
Please keep your shoes polished and shiny. Make sure your shoes match your belt. If your shoe laces are frayed or discolored, replace them. Replace worn out shoes. Replace worn heels. Visit your local shoe boutiques and buy several pair of stylish and sexy shoes. Spend the most you can afford for quality name brand shoes. Don't worry about the cost - consider it an investment in scoring with single women. Don't buy cheap shoes from Target, K-Mart, Walmart, etc. (If your shoes look cheap, this can make an unfavorable impression on women and they may think that since you dress cheap you must be a cheap and miserly person).
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Why Acting Like You're Married Can Attract Single Women Like Crazy
Why are so many single women attracted to married men, obsessed by them? The married man has no need to "play games" or prove himself, thus he tends to be relaxed and confident in his dealings with the opposite sex. He wears the shining armour of his experience and exudes an aura of "forbidden fruit". He is unavailable, and his very inaccessibility makes him highly desirable. This is a deadly combination. So, what can the single guy learn from all this? Act married. You need not "play games" or prove yourself, thus be relaxed and confident in your dealings with the opposite sex. Do not let yourself be too accessible to the opposite sex; let the women invest at least a little bit of effort to get near you. Above all, avoid the behavior patterns of being "on the prowl" (veritably oozing neediness and desperation). Running after single women, panting, with your tongue literally hanging out, you play the fool. Staying detached, just a bit distant, cool-calmcollected, you radiate confidence and strength. Wear the shining armour of your very own experience and exude an aura of "forbidden fruit", of being the proud, sensitive, strong, and yes, desirable shy man.
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Whatever you do, don't call when you're tired or fatigued. You won't be able to think straight and you won't be mentally sharp. You're personality is just not at its best when you are tired. Plus, it will show up in your voice too. Turn off any radio or TV in the background. This is considered rude when trying to talk to someone. You want her undivided attention, with no distractions. Please, please, please don't drink 3 or 4 beers to get up your courage to make that first phone call. You're really going to make a bad impression by coming across as drunk. Don't eat, chew ice, or smoke while talking to her. Speak clearly - don't mumble or whisper. Don't start every other sentence with..."uh."
And, my last piece of advice is the most important one. Here's what I would do before calling her: I would get out a note pad and write out what I wanted to say to her, what questions I wanted to ask her (be sure and don't sound like you are interviewing her for a job), and topics of conversation to discuss. That way, I would never be at loss for words when talking to her. I would also take notes on our conversation. I would write down things she was interested in, her hobbies, her personal and career goals, things she likes to do on her days off from work, places she like to visit, her favorite restaurants, places she likes to go on vacation, etc. What's the purpose of this? This way you'll know what things she likes to talk about. People always love to talk about things that they are interested in. Plus, it can give you some ideas on where to take her for a date.
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Other Stuff
How to Attract Women
Women are attracted to a man that other women find attractive. To understand this trait, one has only to look at what it says about a man when he is with a woman. He must have things going for him or she wouldn't be with him. He must know how to treat a woman. He is going to be hard to get - a catch. After all, there is more than one woman vying for his time. If a man is with another woman, or has a steady girlfriend, it makes him safe. He is not out on the prowl. Women love to flirt, to express their sensuality and to test their alluring abilities. But women want to be able to do this without being "hit on" or "come on" to. So who better to flirt with, and to feel comfortable with, than a man who is safe. Though most women will deny it, women are very competitive. They love to prove the superiority of their seductive abilities by being the one to catch the man that all the women want. Women love to show off their date when they know all of their friends are envious. The lure of competing for the popular guy is strong indeed. Being seen with a woman is probably the single most important thing a man can do to help his image. It says that you have things going for you, that you know how to treat a woman, and that you are a catch and it states all of this without uttering a single word. But how does this help you if you don't already have a girlfriend or a date? Throughout the book, I will show you many ways to be seen with women and many ways to suggest that women find you attractive - even when you don't have a girlfriend.
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Simply because all these very "experienced" women ALLOWED themselves to be hurt, used and abused by so many guys in the past and they ERRONEOUSLY start to think that "all men are dogs". And these women will bring into any NEW relationship ALL THAT GARBAGE of their hurtful past. They will be resentful, frustrated, revengeful, vindictive and real BITCHES. There are some exceptions to this rule, but not very many.
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Single lady giving advice on how to meet and attract single women
I would like to share with you an email I received from a single lady giving advice on how to meet and attract single women. It's always nice to hear a woman's perpective and views on how to meet her. Here's her email exactly as I received it: Hi, I really enjoyed your introduction to your book (Basic Seduction) - I suppose it was rather improper of me as I am a single woman and wanted to know the techniques by men - so I would know when they were interested in me - I am lucky as I am considered attractive - and unfortunately that one attribute generally dictates who does the choosing as callous as it sounds. In my experience, I have found that no man should "hang around" for more than five minutes - no matter how good looking - the best approach is a joke - a semi clean joke memorize at least five - Go up to a girl and ask her if she thinks this joke is funny as a buddy said he could not stand it - Tell the joke - Hopefully she will giggle - then back off - tell her that she has given you encouragement. Now you are "buddies"...dont ask her to dance - get out of her space as quickly as you came into it - she now thinks of you as a friend - and not a threat. Now after a half an hour - travel back her way - If you have ANOTHER joke - do it now - if not - just casual conversation, such as, "I admire that perfume, may I inquire as to what it is? - my sister has been looking for a unique fragrance" - again, no sexual threats. If she keeps talking - great - you are home free - if she is still a little abrupt - leave her alone - It seems to me that a man using this slower approach has better chances than an aggressive man - but then who am I to say. Good luck on your wonderful accomplishments - you are providing a wonderful service - Jayda......
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Do get out of your own head and stop analyzing every detail. If it helps to loosen you up, have a drink (just one). Pay attention to what you are feeling. Take deep breaths. Relax. Do drop your professional persona. Laugh. Flirt. Tease a little. Wear something decidedly unbusinesslike. Change your tone of voice. Be playful. 81
Don't self-censure. Share most of your thoughts and ideas as they come up. Take a conversational risk or two. Don't steer the conversation. Instead, see where it takes you. Don't over think every possible behavioral choice. Dating isn't chess. Go with your gut instinct and make a move. Do something fun and laugh a lot. Take your date rollerblading, or to the beach to fly a kite. Go see some stand-up comedy. Act as though your date was an old friend-someone you can count on to enjoy a good time.
Be Genuine
We are all more impressive than we imagine, and few of us have to exaggerate our personal histories in order to shine. In fact, these efforts at embellishment can diminish us in the eyes of our romantic counterparts. Remember that people tend to be attracted to those with an intact sense of self. The quietly confident are perceived to be intriguing, even sexy. So leave well enough alone. Don't inflate your accomplishments or try to peddle a bill of goods to your date. We will all save each other a lot of time and unnecessary angst and ambiguity if we simply tell each other the truth. When we aren't attracted to someone who would like to pursue a romantic relationship, we should say so, privately and tactfully. Likewise, when we find someone interesting, beautiful, funny or intriguing, we should let that person know. Guessing games often have unhappy endings. Speak up. Ships do pass in the night, sometimes never to pass that way again. As we convey our interest in someone, we must do so in a non-demanding manner. It's unfair and manipulative to expect someone to reciprocate our feelings. When dating, tailored honesty is the best policy. This means that the truth we tell should be delivered in a context that is appropriate to the situation at hand. Here are some guidelines.
Lose the pickup lines. Even when they come from a genuine desire to flatter someone, they are always obvious, are perceived as corny, and tend to label you as a "player." Avoid excessive disclosure. To tell the truth is important. To tell the whole truth, all at once on a first date can be overwhelming. Introduce your life gradually, over time. Ask for what you want. Don't beat around the bush or drop subtle hints. There is something very powerful and sexy about someone who knows what they want, and is willing to ask for it. Respect your date's truth. If she tells you she isn't ready for sexual intimacy, she isn't. If he tells you he isn't looking for marriage, believe him. Don't date someone you don't trust. That relationship won't take you anywhere you need to go.
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Guys on the other hand, while not considering it necessarily negative, simply are unable to comprehend why beautiful girls would and do date less than the best looking guys. Guys usually think the reason is because it is because the guy either has lots of money or is exceptionally good in bed. Although those may be possible reasons, it usually does not occur to the male species, that females or more likely to consider other positive traits besides physical appearance. If guys would play by the same rules, they would get a whole lot more dates. Tip 6: Use pre-packaged pickup lines sparingly or not at all. When you do use them, put the sexual references back in the joke can. Instead of wasting your time on trite pick-up lines, think of instead of using conversational and situation icebreakers.
You set yourself up for rejection. She might say no. You imply that she would be doing you a favor by going out with you. You imply a formal date. You are making a move on her. The pressure is on her. If she says "no", you are never sure whether to ask her again for another time. Was it, "No, I don't want to go out with you," or "No, I want to go out with you but I'm busy that night." You literally sound like a junior high kid asking a girl out on his first date.
The right way to ask a single girl out is, "Let's get together and do something sometime". Memorize these words. By saying this, you give an impression of a casual meeting. No big deal. Friends getting to know each other. Not a formal date. If you say this, her response will let you know whether she wants to date you or not. If she is interested, she will respond in the positive, but also her tone will be positive. The expression on her face will be positive. She may even lead the conversation to making a specific time to do something. If you do get a positive response, you can either pursue the conversation and arrange to meet on a casual date or leave it until the next time you meet. You know she wants to get together and she will be waiting, now that you have teased her with talk of a date but offered no specific plans. You are being elusive and playing hard to get. Her anticipation works in your favor. If she does not want to go out with you, her verbal response may be "no" or it may even be "yes" to save your feelings, but her tone, her facial expression, and her desire to drop the subject will let you know she is not interested. Don't pursue it further.
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You are not set up for rejection. After all, you have not really asked her out. You've made a statement. You are throwing out an offer. The implication is that you are doing her a favor. She is not doing you a favor by going out with you. It implies a casual get-together to get to know each other, not a formal date. You know for sure whether she wants to date you or not. You aren't asking her. You are making a statement which says something about you. You are the type of person that likes to do things with friends, and of course she would like to participate. After all, there is no pressure. You are a confident, friendly, fun-loving person who is doing things.
Now re-read that phrase. "Let's get together and do something sometime." See how much better it is than asking a question that may get you a wrong answer?
from rejection and make you more confident the next time you try and ask a single woman out. But if she lights up and says "OK" or if she emits any one of the signals explained earlier, continue with: "You know, I would really like to go out with you when you're free. How about Lunch at Tony Romas on Tuesday?" Firstly, she can't say, "Sorry not free." simply because it'll make her sound like a complete idiot since she has already said that she would like to go out with you. By all means try saying it out aloud yourself. If she really is not free that day, simply ask her when she will be able to make it. Secondly, she has to be free sometime right? Using this proven technique will ensure that you score when asking single women out. Look, this method isn't fool proof. If she does not want to go out with you, there is no way you can force her to go out on a date. For example, one of the teens that read this book reported that when he used this line on a friend, she kept on saying that she was not free, although it did sound pretty awkward. It went something like this. Him: What about Saturday? Her: Not free. Him: Sunday? Her: I'm busy. Him: Next Saturday? Her: Sorry, I really cannot make it. He took the hint and ended the conversation. However, on the plus side, it is of interest to note that because he said "Hey! I would really like to get together and do something with you sometime" She had to reply with, "Okay, like what?" and he was never rejected outright. This is much less painful than having, "Would you like to go out?" answered with an outright, "No." Another method she could have used to dissuade him would be to explain that she already had a boyfriend. This method is best used when asking face to face. It might be easier for you to ask her out on the phone but remember, it is also easier for her to reject you on the phone as well. And never, ever, use ICQ (or any other instant messenger).
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She's already gone out with you and drained your money so don't throw more money down the drain.
Places to go
Great First Dates
First dates are rough. You have to risk embarrassment, obsess over fresh breath, and sometimes even foot the bill for dinner and a movie. Ouch! We feel your pain. Here's the good news: a first date doesn't have to be a pins and needles experience. It doesn't even have to cost very much, as you'll see. I've hounded some very good friends and gotten them to cough up their best first dates. We hope they inspire you. But first, here are some guidelines for a planning a first date.
Make it short. If there's no chemistry, you don't want to be stuck with someone all day. Choose an activity that can be accomplished in two or three hours. For the same reason, don't go somewhere so isolated that you can't take off when you've had enough. Forget about that all-day cruise around the city, for example. If the date isn't going well, your only recourse is to jump overboard. If you're self-conscious about your bod, keep your clothes on during a first date. Do you really need to show your potential partner all the merchandise immediately? Unless you're completely confident about your body (and who really is?), choose an activity in which you don't have to strip down to participate. Stay away from beaches and pools. Hey, to be on the safe side, avoid any body of water.
Great Dates Elizabeth: "On our first date, my boyfriend took me hiking and packed a lunch with all my favorite foods. It was totally sweet considering that he went out and bought the ingredients to make my favorite sandwich (none of which were on his usual grocery list): tomato, avocado, alfalfa sprouts, and Swiss cheese on whole wheat bread." Why it's a great date: Hiking is not only great exercise, it's a low-cost activity, and the quiet and privacy of being out on a trail provides a perfect environment to get to know someone. And picnics are always romantic. What's the takeaway: While hiking can be a great first date, all that privacy might not be a great idea if it's a blind date or a date with someone who isn't already part of your social scene. Use common sense before heading out into the woods with a complete
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stranger! Make sure someone knows where you're going and whom you're going with. And don't forget the sunscreen. Marc: "For our first date, I took the woman I would eventually marry to a Dodger Game. Summer nights in L.A. are the best, and taking in views of the downtown skyline at sundown while watching America's favorite pastime is pretty close to perfection. Add the crucial first date element of being with someone who was already a great friend (but we both knew that there was something more than a friendship going on), and you've got the makings of a great date. Let's do the numbers: 9 innings, 4 beers, 2 Dodger dogs and a couple of ice cream bars sealed the deal. [Side note: at the time she was a practicing vegetarian, but that night I coaxed her into trying her first Dodger Dog. P.S. she's been eating meat ever since.]" Why it's a great date: A sporting event provides great people watching and a guaranteed source of conversation if you find yourself tongue-tied. What's the takeaway: Even a ball game can be romantic if you're with the right person. Vanessa: "I once spent Valentine's Day at the Huntington Gardens in San Marino, CA. [a 207-acre estate, museum, and botanical garden] with a date. Unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate and we ended up soaked and freezing cold from walking around in the rain. It might have been a disaster, but there was a surprise payoff: afterwards, we ended up in front of a fireplace, getting all warm and cozy." Why it's a great date: Sometimes it's fun to be a tourist in your hometown. Instead of letting the out-of-town relatives have the local attractions to themselves, why not check out the tourist sites that are right under your nose? What's the takeaway: Check the weather report. Isaac: "Go to an amusement park." Why it's a great date: Scary rides provide ample opportunities for spontaneous cuddling. Plus, you might spot Micky or Goofy. What's the takeaway: Singles aren't the only ones who enjoy amusement parks. Try to schedule your date on an off-peak day or time, or you risk ending up sweltering on a never-ending line, silently resenting each other. Jennifer: "When I was in college, this cute skater asked me to make dinner with him at his place. We shopped for all the food together, and I helped him make a gourmet veggie pasta dish. We ate by candlelight on the floor of his living room, and afterwards, we climbed on his roof with a bottle of wine to watch the stars. Although we didn't turn out to be lovers for life, we did get in a couple months of wine on his roof (among other things)."
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Why it's a great date: When you cook dinner together, you can hide any awkward silences by chopping those carrots a little harder or stirring the pasta sauce. And you get a chance to check out your date's CD collection. What's the takeaway: The only drawback to these kinds of dates is your proximity to a bedroom. Add a little wine and some good music on the stereo, and it's all too easy to end up horizontal, even if you hadn't planned on it. Jenny: "My first date with my present boyfriend took place at the hospital. We were with a bunch of friends skateboarding and I thought I was cool, so I attempted an olly and broke my arm. He stayed with me all night. Boom! I fell in love." Why it's a great date: Group activities are a low-pressure way to get to know someone. What's the takeaway: Wear protective gear.
not just for kids. It's a fun experience for all ages and it's kind of romantic. So, get your date and go fly a kite. Moonlight Strolls - When there's a full moon and clear skies, head for any lake or seashore. It's so romantic to take your shoes off and wade along the shore with the full moon gleaming on the water. Romantic Restaurants - If you really want to make a good impression on your date, take her to a cozy and romantic restaurant. It's even better if they have a piano bar or live entertainment or soft music, dim lighting, roaring fireplaces, scenic views while you're eating, etc. So, spice up your love-life or impress a date by going to a romantic restaurant. Theatre (Live) - Most larger towns offer live theatre performances that can be just as good as a Broadway play in New York City. Attending live theatre on a date ranks at the top of the list for things to do on a date in my opinion. Zoo - A popular and enjoyable way to spend the day on a date. Picnics - This is tops on my list for first dates. Just bring a bottle of wine, cheese and crackers, or even better just pick up some fried chicken and potato salad. Don't forget the blanket and radio! Cruises - If there are any cruises in your area (riverboat, dinner cruises, yacht cruises, gambling cruises, sunset cruises, or just any kind of cruise) don't pass up this opportunity for one of the best ways to impress single women on a first date.
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Make a Racquet - Take to the tennis courts and bounce those balls around. Lack of athletic ability is no excuse - it takes little talent to lob a yellow ball back and forth. Bonus: awkward attempts to reach the tough shots will help to melt the ice. Rough It - No need for fancy sleeping bags and pricey tents when camping (Hint: thats why its called roughing it). Take your date to the nearest lake and stake your claim on a prime camping spot. Start a fire, sizzle up a few snacks, and spend a little quality time under the stars. (Dont forget to put that fire out!) Park it - Grab the hacky-sack, Frisbee, softball and mitts. Then make a day of it at your local park. Fresh air, a few rays, lots of action, and - more than likely - plenty of laughs. What could make for a better date? How about a blanket and beverages for a little after-play rest and relaxation. Dine Out - Surprise is a key element here, as is timing. Wait until nightfall when the moon is full and the stars are bright. Light a few candles and grill up your gals favorite outdoor dinner. Blindfold those baby blues, then lead her to a night of outdoor seduction! The fuller the moon the better!
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Things to do
10 Best Things to Do on a First Date to Attract Single Women
Read the newspaper and listen to the news on the day of your date. This will give you some good topics for conversation. Before going on your date, rehearse telling some funny stories. Single women are attracted to men who can make them laugh. Act like you are genuinely interested in what she is saying. Even to the point when you have to fake it. She will be impressed that you're such a good listener. Don't act too serious. Act carefree and light-hearted and don't give a long and boring monologue about yourself. You will be judged on how you look and your behavior. So, wear your best-looking clothes and be immaculately groomed. And be on your very best behavior! You may not think this is fair, but a lot of single women will judge you by the way that you tip. Always tip generously, especially on your first date. This will make a very favorable impression on her. If you leave a cheap tip or even worse, no tip at all, she will judge you as a cheap person. Also, if she has ever been a waitress, she will really look down on you for tipping cheaply or not at all. Waiters and waitresses depend heavily on good tips to make a decent living. Revolve most of your conversation around her interests, hobbies, career, goals, vacations, etc. Forget about yourself and focus on her. Act as if you've known her all of your life. This will make her feel comfortable around you. Also, it will make you feel comfortable and help eliminate any first date nervousness or anxiety on your part. Be sure and bring your business card with you and give it to her at the end of the date. It will make her feel that she's important to you. Maintain good eye contact throughout the date and wear a smile on your face. A good smile has a very seductive effect on single women.
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If she says "No," you are never sure whether to ask her again for another time. Was it, "No, I don't want to go out with you," or "No, I want to go out with you but I'm busy that night." You literally sound like a junior high kid asking a girl out on his first date. The right way to ask a girl out is, "Let's get together and do something sometime." Memorize these words! By saying this, you give the impression of a casual meeting. No big deal. Friends getting to know each other. Not a formal date. If you say this, her response will let you know whether she wants to date you or not. If she is interested, she will respond in the positive, but also her tone will be positive. The expression on her face will be positive. She may even lead the conversation to making a specific time to do something. If you do get a positive response, you can either pursue the conversation and arrange to meet on a casual date or leave it until the next time you meet. You know she wants to get together and she will be waiting, now that you have teased her with talk of a date but offered no specific plans. You are being elusive and playing hard to get. Her anticipation works in your favor. The beauty of using this exact phrase is: You are not set up for rejection. After all, you have not really asked her out. You've made a statement. You are throwing out an offer. The implication is that you are doing her a favor. She is not doing you a favor by going out with you. It implies a casual get-together to get to know each other, not a formal date. You know for sure whether she wants to date you or not. You aren't asking her. You are making a statement which says something about you. You are the type of person that likes to do things with friends, and of course she would like to participate. After all, there is not pressure. You are a confident, friendly, fun-loving person who is doing things. Now re-read that phrase. "Let's get together and do something sometime." See how much better it is than asking a question that may get you a wrong answer? Tip #2 - If possible, avoid asking a girl out for the first time for a Friday or Saturday night. Why?: The odds of her being busy are high so she may have to turn you down, which creates bad vibes right off.
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It tells her that you don't have a date for the weekend with someone else so you may have trouble getting dates. The weekend implies formal dating, so the pressure is on. If you do get the date, she may have to turn down other offers because of her commitment to you, and go into the evening regretting having to turn down others. After all, she has no way of knowing whether she is going to have a good time with you or not. On the other hand, if you ask her out during the week: You imply that you are busy on the weekend. In other words, you are involved with other girls. The odds of her being available are greater. Weeknights imply casual-no pressure, a good atmosphere to get to know her. You have turned a dull weeknight into a good time for her - good vibes right off the bat. Tip #3 - How many times should you ask a girl out for a date before you give up? A friend mine told me that he would ask a girl three times before he would give up. Why he arbitrarily picked three, I don't know. Probably because in baseball you get three strikes before you are out. Our rule of thumb is once. If she legitimately has other plans and wants to do something with you, she will communicate this. "Oh, I'd love to, but I just can't. I can make it some other time..." If she is uninterested, she will make herself unavailable. In this case, drop it. You only make matters worse for yourself if you pursue it. Tip #4 - People go on dates to have a good time - not to be serious. Keep this in mind when you plan the activities. Make sure you are mentally and emotionally prepared to be "up" and positive for the date. Tip #5 - Make the first dates with a girl casual. You may even do something during the day rather than in the evening. Save formal dates for later on when you are more comfortable with her. Most men do the opposite. Formal dates at first, and then as the relationship develops, the dates become more and more casual. This can imply to the girl that she is being taken for granted. Tip #6 - For the first dates, try to go for spontaneous, informal gatherings, rather than dates arranged days in advance. Example: "By the way, some friends are coming over for dinner tonight. It's very informal. Come and join us." If she can't you say, "That's too bad. You'd have enjoyed it.
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Maybe some other time." If she does join you, you are in a great position to present your best side to her. Tip #7 - Make sure your body language is inviting to her during the date and not a turnoff. Your eye contact and closeness should be open to her, but not crowding or threatening. Again, if she is having a good time, she will be open to contact. Remember, women enjoy sensuality. Tip #8 - Have every detail of the date planned, but make it seem spontaneous. Try to go somewhere familiar to you so you'll know what to expect. Even go to movies you've seen before so you know it's a good one. Tip #9 - End the date before she does. Example: The evening is winding down. It's pretty obvious that you aren't going to "get lucky" this night, but you hang on until the bitter end hoping that the chance in a million shot will come through. Wrong! Instead you alertly perceive that the evening is still going well and positive, so you politely explain that you have to go, assure her that you had a great time, and tell her you'll have to get together again. Take her home and say, "good night." Most men seem to think that if they prolong the date enough, they'll get the girl in bed. As the evening drags on, the mood of the date starts to drop and the girl ends up having to announce it's time for her to go. By ending the date before she does, you surprise her and set yourself apart. You imply that you are hard to get, and not desperate. And believe me, if the girl is interested in going to bed, you'll know it. She will make her interest known to you. So if she hasn't given you the signals, better for you to make your exit and beat her at her own game. She'll be giving you the signals someday soon. Tip #10 - A friend of mine that is a very quick thinker told me this story: He was out with a girl and throughout the evening it was obvious that she had no intention of going to bed with him. Convincingly, she gave the impression that she thought she was a real hot item and the type that enjoyed saying "no" to men. So he let the evening run its course and when he drove into her driveway (just when things would be awkward), he said, "By the way, may I use your phone?" Then, he came into her house, went to the phone, faked a phone call (making sure that she could not hear the conversation), hung up the phone, walked past her to the door as if he had somewhere to go, and said, "I enjoyed the evening. See you again." He said that she stood in the doorway watching him leave in disbelief. She, of course, was thinking that he was bored with her, called another girl, and was going to see her. He said it was the only way he could think of to get out of the situation with his dignity. The lesson, of course, is when the handwriting is on the wall, and there is no future with a girl, cut your losses and get out as cleanly as you can. Hanging around, for at best a good night kiss, isn't worth the loss of your dignity.
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Tip #11 - Don't forget that you are on trial. Always be aware of your image. Be aware of how she is perceiving you.
Regarding "pick-up lines," unless the lines are well-executed, no pick-up line in the world will achieve the desired results. Timing and demeanor are critical factors. You need to keep girls guessing. Don't give them too much, too quickly about yourself. Be aware that some single women will play hard-to-get intentionally, because they don't want to appear to be too easy. Always do everything you can to make a women feel special. Also, tell her she's very special. Single women love to feel wanted, respected, and appreciated. The more you try to pick up single women the more used to it you'll become. This will help you gain confidence and practice makes perfect. Don't ever assume because a woman looks like she's right out of the pages of Playboy that she has a boyfriend. This is not necessarily true and if she is seeing someone, maybe it's not serious or she's not happy with him. Don't overlook average-looking single women. They are a lot of fun and they can become quite beautiful in your own eyes once you get to know them. Always remember that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Attractive single women get complimented all the time about how beautiful they are. Be a little different and compliment her on things she's not used to hearing such as: eyebrows, nose, ears, kissable lips, eyes, dimples, fingernails, etc.
Remember that single women get horny too. Some single women are looking for sex too. If they haven't had sex in awhile they crave sex. Maybe you'll be the luck guy that satisfies their sexual needs!
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The Top 10 Dining Etiquette Tips to Impress Single Women When on a Dining Date
1. Whatever you do, don't use curse words in your dining conversations. This can really turn women off and can even spoil your chances for dating her again and your potential relationship goes right down the drain. 2. Don't bring your cell phone on your dining date. You don't want any interruptions and you want to give her your undivided attention. Also, you may mistakenly think that cell phones impress women by thinking that you are a important businessman or something. The women are going to be impressed by how you treat them, not because you have a cell phone. 3. I highly recommend that you bring some dental floss and tic tacs with you on your date. After you complete your meal, excuse yourself and go to the restroom and floss your teeth and take a breath mint. The reason for this is that you don't want any food stuck on your teeth while talking to her (this can be very embarrassing and you won't even be aware of it and of course you don't want to have bad breath either. 4. Don't bore your date by constantly talking about yourself, what material possessions you have, important people you know, your fancy car, your money, etc. In other words, stay away from your ego trip, just focus on her and revolve your conversation around her and her interests. 5. Never bite your nails while you are dining. 6. Please, whatever you do, don't light up a cigar while you are eating. It will not only turn her off, but will annoy other patrons with the foul odor of a cigar. 7. Refrain from chewing gum while dining. 8. When asked how you are doing. Always reply, "I'm doing great, how about yourself?" Don't reply with how bad you are feeling or discussing any ailments. 9. If there are other people in your party, be sure and include them in your conversations. In other words, don't ignore the other people at your table, especially if they are her friends. 10. Whenever she reaches for a cigarette, be sure and light it for her.
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Pampering Her
When being seated don't allow them to place you in "bad" spots such as noisy areas, next to the restrooms, by the front or back door, areas with a bad atmosphere, etc. Tell the waiter who is seating you, very politely, "Is it possible if we can sit somewhere else, perhaps in the corner, there?" If he says, "no," don't bother arguing and making a scene. Use your napkin to swipe the area around your mouth every few minutes in case some glob of food remains. If a piece of food happens to have gotten itself stuck on the chin or near the mouth of your date, here is your chance. Don't just tell her that something is on her face, remove it for her with a clean napkin or serviette. Do this only if you feel confident enough with her. The aim of all these actions is to pamper her and make a good impression on her. If you are at a classy restaurant, you should order for your date. Ask her in advance what she wants and when the waiter or waitress comes, order for her. This makes a good impression on women and lets you remain in control throughout. Be sure to leave at least a 15% tip (unless the service is bad). Single women will judge you on your tipping habits. If you are cheap it can make a bad impression on them. don't whip out a pen and paper or calculator to calculate the tip, it could leave an impression on her that you are "cheap." Here's an easy way to do it mentally. Let's say that your bill comes to $51.20. Move the decimal point one place to the left ( this will come to $5.12 which is 10% of the bill). Now divide $5.12 by 2 which will give you $2.56. Now add $5.12 + $2.56 = $7.68 in your head and this will give you a 15% tip. If the price is a bit too steep, please don't complain, it will only make you look cheap.
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One option would be to go roller blading or cycling. A fun outing, be sure to bring along drinks and the proper clothing. (tights, shorts etc.) Another thing you could do on your first date would be to attend a concert or classical performance. These events do require more formality in terms of dressing and are generally more expensive.
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Conversation
Conversation Pitfalls to Avoid When Talking to Single Women
When talking about things that excite and interest you, here are some pitfalls you'll want to avoid: Don't dominate the conversation with your own enthusiasms. Be sensitive to how much time you devote to your own subject without hearing again from the other person. It's alright to let her know what turns you on, but be aware that she may not necessarily want to hear everything you have to say about that topic. Avoid Jargon or technical terms when discussing topics with her and she isn't familiar with the subject. You can give her an inside look at what excites you about the topic, rather than overly specific details. Be careful not to lecture or try to "sell" her on what you believe in, regardless of how strongly you believe in it or how important you feel it is. She may want to learn more about a subject that interests you, but they don't necessarily wish to be converted to your point of view. Don't tell personal secrets in the early stages of a friendship with a woman. Of course, it's flattering to her to be told something confidential, but if this is early on in a friendship, the person is likely to think, "If he tells me such personal things right off, he probably tells everyone." Wait until the time is right, and you've established trust. Don't try to override her point of view with your superior knowledge of a subject. Be receptive to her point of view and listen to what she has to say. Then, when it's your turn to give your opinion, she will be more receptive and open to your ideas.
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Here's what not to do, which will make a bad impression on your date. Whatever you do, don't ask one question after another. This will make her feel like she is being interrogated or interviewed for a job. The best way to ask questions is to let her answer, then add additional comments and conversation around her answer. In other words, make her answer a topic of conversation. Then you can weave in some more questions using the same technique. Using this technique will be non-threatening and not so obtrusive. Plus, she will admire your conversational skills by you expressing interest in her answers.
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Now imagine you'd spent 60 to 70 percent of the date listening to her (really listening and asking questions), and about 30 to 40 percent of the time telling her about yourself. Specifically, telling her about yourself in a way that makes the two of you seem very similar. This time when she goes home, sits down, grabs something to drink, and starts reminiscing about the date (and you), she's going to have something substantial to think about. She's going to think what a wonderful conversationalist you are. You didn't monopolize the conversation. You didn't bore her with details of your job, your childhood, or the health of your colon. And because you spent a substantial amount of time pointing out how similar the two of you are, she's going to think that you are very special. (After all, you're just like her. You must be.) People always like others who are similar to themselves. By being similar to me, you essentially validate my perceptions of the world. I will see you as clever, intelligent, charming, and likeable... because you're like me. It's true that opposites do sometimes attract. But only under certain situations. On the other hand, similars almost always attract. You should always go for the similarity angle during the first part of a relationship. You'll can reveal to her your "unique" qualities later. And don't worry or feel cheated because you don't get to talk about the things you want to talk about. If you play your cards right during the first few conversations or dates, you'll have plenty of time later on to bore her with all your "interesting" stories. The first few conversations (dates) are critical and you have to "play" them right. That means listening for free info, asking interested questions, and making "me too" statements. It's a simple 1, 2, 3.
You've Got To Talk To Her What do you talk about? Should you tell her about your childhood, your therapist, your plans for the future, the wart on your big toe? What if you can't think of anything to say? What if you say the wrong thing? And, by the way, what would be the "right" thing to say? Do you have a clue? Most guys don't. When your average gent converses with a woman, he's basically just flailing blindly at the wind, hoping by chance that something he says will "connect" with the woman and make her fall for him. Needless to say, this is not the "Don Juan" way of doing things. You need to have a plan. You need to know what definitely works and what doesn't, what to talk about and what not to talk about. You don't want to leave her feelings to chance or to fate. You want to be charming and in control.
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What To Say?
And that's what we're going to discuss right now. Now there are many many aspects of a conversation. This particular chapter focuses on the conversational topics that you should focus on when wooing a beautiful lady. Those topics which will almost guarantee increased interpersonal attraction. Topics which will leave you in complete charge of the conversation, and which will leave you the option, if you desire, of future conversations, dates, or an intense romantic relationship. Are you getting excited? Okay, so what exactly do you talk about? Well, the first thing to remember is that men frequently get it wrong by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're "impressing" the women when, in reality, they're "depressing" the women. Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you're saying doesn't necessarily mean she really is. She might just be acting polite while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back. So key number one is don't talk too much! Try not to monopolize the conversation and try to listen to what she has to say. Almost everyone is incredibly interested in what they themselves have to say. People will talk to you about themselves for as long as you will listen.
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Kissing
Art of Kissing Single Women on Your First Date
At the end of a first date comes that awkward moment when you must decide if you want to kiss her or not. Also, if you do kiss her it had better be good to make a favorable impression. It may not be fair, but some single women will judge you on your first kiss as to whether she would be attracted to you want to date you again. In other words, she must feel some chemistry when she kisses you. If you are a lousy kisser, then you're going to be a failure at creating good chemistry between you and your date. Is chemistry important on a first date? You bet it is! And if you're a great kisser, you're going to turn her on and have an edge on the other guys that date her that are lousy kissers. So, just exactly what makes a good kisser and kisses that single women that you go out with won't forget? The key is to be soft and gentle and follow her lead...that's all there is to it. If you really want to turn her off and blow your chances for more romance and future dates with her, do these things:
Drooling all over her mouth while kissing. Women don't like wet or sloppy kisses. While kissing, you keep your lips stiff and rigid. You've got to keep your lips soft and sensuous. She needs to be able to feel your lips. If they are hard as a rock it will feel like kissing a rock to her. Keeping your lips closed. Please guys, open your lips! Women don't enjoy kissing just a slit on a guys face. And most importantly, don't be stingy with your tongue. Give it to her and play tongue hockey with her. Let her suck on your tongue if that's what she likes. Whatever you do, don't try to gag her with your tongue. Just use it gently and don't try to stick it down her throat. If you don't know how to kiss properly, I would suggest practicing on the back of your hand. Pretend that you are kissing a hot & sexy beautiful woman that you're dying to become intimate with. You could also practice kissing yourself on the mirror.
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In closing, if you really want to succeed with single women in the love and romance department, you must be a good kisser.
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She should do the same. Then take your hand from hers, make a shape like you were going to pull the trigger on a gun. DON'T whatever you do, firm your hand, relax. Let it flow. Place the tip of your index finger ( the tip = the joint farthest from you hand ) under her chin and lift her head to your mouth. Do all this in slow motion. She will remember it better if you do it slow. Don't rush it. Kiss as though you have all the time in the world. But don't prolong a kiss beyond its natural life. If she pushes you away, she is just not ready. Do not push your luck and never ever push your way hoping to get "lucky". You can always end things is by giving her a nice big hug. Americans seem to have become a nation of huggers (why not a nation of kisses like in France? They kiss for everything there. They kiss to say good morning, they kiss to say hello, life is so unfair.) When kissing, think about absolutely nothing. Better still, don't think. Let your mind blank out while you delight in the absorption of her drugging nectar. Begin kissing with your lips slightly parted, not zipped shut. Remember to relax them and don't let them freeze up. That will really dampen the kissing experience. Do not start wet, with your mouth wide open and you're tongue sticking out. Using Your Hands Use your hands when kissing. Many people simply waste them when kissing by using them only as some form of supporting themselves. You could wrap them around her waist, use them to clutch her back or massage her scalp. Wherever your hands are, use them. Slowly increase pressure or graze gently but in non-erotic zones, like the back, the shoulders, the arms. You should not use every kissing session as a prelude to sex. Sometimes, kissing just for the sake of kissing can be just as exciting as you absorb her very essence into your cells. Many men think of kissing as a a prelude to sex. They keep thinking, "Let's hurry up. Then we can get down to the nice stuff" As a result, they rush through their kissing and do not get to fully enjoy the delightfulness of a long, drugging, kiss. A Real Eye Opener Once in a while, pretend it's the first time you have ever kissed this person. A lot of people ask me if it is advisable to open your eyes when kissing. Well, one time, I was in the middle of this intoxicating kiss with my girlfriend and I opened my eyes and saw two huge brown eyes staring right back.
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It was pretty scary and we both laughed and I guess that helped break the tension. My advice to you is that you should only open your eyes when kissing if you can stand the intimacy. Caution Men that just clamp their lips on their girlfriends when kissing and never move their lips or alter the angle of the kiss, lose out on the whole rhythm and motion of a kiss. It should be something dynamic and explorative, ever-changing, but not explorative in the way that some people stuff their tongues in your mouth as though they were searching for buried treasure or something! One last thing, you should never prolong a kiss beyond it's natural life. When you feel it is time to stop kissing (after a few hours is fine by me), conclude the session by drawing your lips away and giving a series of shorter, but more intense kisses. After the final one, draw away and just hold her, gently rocking your body against hers. Okay, so far I have gone through all the basic aspects of kissing, otherwise known as "lip" kissing. You may even have dabbled in using your tongue while kissing. Lip kissing is only the tip of the iceberg! If you do not widen your repertoire, your kissing life will be very dull indeed. The French "Soul" Kiss French kissing involves the tongue. What you do with it, and what she does with yours, is a matter of preference. At the most cautious level, the tongue does in fact enter, only to dart quickly out thus ending the kiss. The function was performed, and technically, the kiss can be defined as falling under the classification of "French Kiss." Now, on the other end of the spectrum, you have the type of tongue which, to borrow a clich from Star Trek, "goes boldly where no tongue has ever gone before". The French kiss is the essence of kissing: capturing her mouth with desperate urgency, unifying your souls and thoughts with the mouth. By the way, contrary to popular belief, STDs cannot be transmitted via French kissing.
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Do not talk about any of your personal problems. This is not appropriate with someone you hardly know. Don't act desperate. This date is just for fun and getting to know each other. Keep it light-hearted and don't act as if you are auditioning for a lifetime commitment. Don't cling to her and talk about your future relationship with her. For a first date, don't go to a nightclub or loud bar. They are too noisy for conversation and it's hard to get to know each other if you can't hear each other. Don't talk about anything negative at all. Keep everything you talk about upbeat and positive. Don't get drunk! This really turns women off and makes a bad impression. Don't drink at all or limit your drinking to a couple of drinks. Here's a real no no. You see a couple of your buddies and you leave her to go talk to them. You ignore her and just leave her hanging while you shoot the bull with your buddies. This is very inconsiderate and downright rude. The proper thing to do is just introduce your buddies and keep your conversation with them brief. After all you are out on a date with her, not your buddies. Don't try to analyze her problems. If you ask for a second date, don't say, "Would you like to get together next week and do something." Instead, be specific about the date. When, where, and what time. Don't discuss any of your family or monetary problems. Whatever you do, don't tell her how broke you are and how you are heavily in debt. On a first date, dress conservatively. This is no time to wear any provocative or sleazy clothes. Don't bitch about your previous girlfriends or ex-wives on how they mistreated you, dumped you, cheated on you, took you to the cleaners on child support, etc. Don't pretend to be funny or humorous. If you are putting on an act, it will come across to her as phony. 116
Never, never ask for a second date like this: "I'm not doing anything on Saturday night, are you?" Don't focus on your health problems or ailments. If you are taking medication, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom and take your pills. Don't take them in front of her. Don't brag about yourself and your accomplishments. Focus on her and her interests. Don't pick your nose or scratch or readjust your crotch. Don't stare at her breasts. If she has nice breasts and wearing a tight-fitting top or revealing some nice cleavage, I know it's going to hard for you not to glance down at her breasts. But, staring is going to make her feel uncomfortable and she will get the impression that all you are interested in is taking her to bed.
I know this is a rather long list of things to remember, but I can assure you, if you avoid making these mistakes it greatly increases your chances of making a favorable impression on your first date with single women and she will be interested in going on more dates with you which can lead to lots of fun, sex, and romance.
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Do this instead: Make her feel good about herself and be as romantic and affectionate towards her as possible. You will have much, much more success with single women if you will take this approach. P.S. Also, don't treat your date like one of the guys when you're on a double date. This makes matters much worse because you will be offending her in front of others and this will really alienate her. Plus, the other girl won't appreciate it either. And when they go to the restroom together they may make comments to each other about what a creep you are. By being labeled a creep, this sure isn't going to help you get a second date. Wouldn't you agree?
Bad Vocabulary Habits That Can Cost You Dates With Single Women
I would like to focus on some vocabulary habits that can turn single women off and hurt your chances for getting women attracted to you for love and romance. Some women will judge you by how you talk to them and what you say. Unfortunately some men have a very small vocabulary and use certain words over and over again between sentences that can become very annoying to women. What are these words that men mistakenly repeat over and over that are a source of annoyment and can actually make you appear to be stupid because you lack a vocabulary? Here are the main ones and you must try to eliminate them from you vocabulary when speaking to single women:
you know you know what I mean you know what I'm saying do you understand what I'm saying using the word "like" to begin a sentence I know that I already knew that umm yep nope and dah
These phrases are ok to use every once in awhile. What I'm talking about is repeating these phases in almost every other sentence. I'm sure you know people that have these annoying conversation habits. Maybe this is even you?
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Also, I might add that you should never use cuss words in your conversation when you first get to know a woman. If she's offended by foul language, this can turn her off to the point that she will have no interest in dating you. Please don't mumble your words either. Speak clearly and don't talk with your hand over your mouth. And of course, if you're out on a lunch or dinner date, don't talk with your mouth full. P.S. - In all fairness, if the girl you're with makes these same vocabulary blunders you do, then you will share something in common and your blunders are not likely to turn her off.
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word! If you are seriously interested in meeting a woman, you will severely handicap yourself with a look of prurient intent. The rule to follow is: Look at and appreciate her clothes, her jewelry, her shoes, her hair and eyes, but don't let her know how much you love her beautiful body. She wants you to appreciate her body, but she doesn't want you to let on that you do. So be careful how you look at her. Like Toni said, 'Women don't want to feel like you just want to go to bed with them. Even if that's what's on your mind, and even if that's what's on their mind, they like it to be more discreet.
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Become a more interesting person. Develop your talents and explore the depths of your potential. Review basic conversational skills. Do you attach yourself to the woman, "smothering'" her? Do your constant attentions allow her to take you for granted?
Problem: You are going out with a woman who shows you no affection at all, who constantly criticizes you, who shows no interest in the things that are important to you. She permits you to take her to dinner and entertain her, and makes you feel that this is what you owe her for being with her. You are nevertheless overwhelmed and grateful to be near her, and if you could only get her to return your love, it would make your life complete.
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Solution: If it is your life's ambition to be abused and exploited, then you have found your soul mate. Otherwise, run, don't walk, to the nearest exit. Problem: You seem to be stuck in a rut. Your life has settled into a dull routine of loneliness and even the prospect of a close relationship hardly excites you any more. Solution:
Try a change of pace. Fill up your free time with activities. Take classes. Join clubs. Do volunteer work. Devote yourself to a hobby. Start work on your novel. Step out of the role. Be a bit more flexible, and less predictable in your behavior. Deliberately act out of character occasionally. If you are in a permanent state of depression, consider professional counseling.
Problem: You are tired of making a fool of yourself over women, tired of being humiliated and rejected. You don't know where you'll find the courage to go on looking for your love. Solution:
Get a good night's sleep. Wake up fortified with a teeny bit of optimism, and smile at the people you meet on the way to work. Forget about girlfriend hunting for a few weeks, perhaps a month or two, and concentrate on improving your relationships with your family and friends.
Perhaps it is not a good time in your life to be seeking a relationship. You might not yet be ready for one. Treat yourself to a six month's breather, a vacation from looking for a girlfriend. Enlarge your circle of acquaintances. Develop new interests. Grow, learn, and be patient.
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How to Get Phone Numbers From Single Women and How to Tell If She's Giving You a Phony Number
After you have made contact with a hot & sexy single woman you are attracted to and have talked and gotten to know each other, the best way to ask her for her phone is say, "Let's meet for lunch or dinner sometime, can I have your phone number?" Hopefully, you will get an immediate response. Be aware that she might give you the old line of, "Why don't you give me your number?" A lot of times this turns out to be just a slick trick on her part. Because, she will just throw your number away. Also, you must be aware that she may give you a phony number. I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me in meeting women in nightclubs and topless clubs. Some girls, instead of just declining to give you their number, they give you a phony number for fear of hurting your feelings. Plus, they may live with a boyfriend or husband and would rather lie to you instead of saying no, which could hurt your feelings. Here's a trick I play on women when they give me their phone number. After I write her number down I will pause while I'm writing and say, "Excuse me, could you repeat that number again?" If this number is different from the first number she gave me, I will know she's lying. If this happens, tell her you don't appreciate her giving you a phony number and ask her to leave or just walk away. Don't waste your time with her! Before I forget, always carry a pen with you to write down her phone number. This is very important! Even better, carry around a expensive-looking pen to make a favorable impression on her.
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Dating Psychology
Time can work for you or against you. It's your choice. If you expect to develop a relationship very quickly with single women, you will find that it ends as quickly. You can't ramp up too fast. Consider nature. Some plants grow very quickly. They complete their life cycles in a matter of weeks or months. Common weeds are a good example - here in May, gone in October. Now think about the most successful plants - the redwoods, oaks and some evergreens. All develop very slowly, some over hundreds of years. They become strong and resistant to the destructive effects of the environment. On the other hand, weeds are crushed underfoot. The species survives by being numerous.
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her like royalty because she has a strong ego. She's a real tiger in bed and rules the bedroom. VIRGO (August 23 - September 22) - Very intellectual and a bit cool and acts aloof. Very picky about men and you must meet her high standards. Very critical nature. Take it slow with this woman. It takes her awhile to warm up to you because of her cautious nature. It's worth it in the end because once she's yours she's yours to keep. Very faithful and devoted. Can be very exacting in bed and wants to follow a set routine. She wants everything to be perfect. LIBRA (September 23 - October 23) - This is one of the most beautiful signs in the Zodiac. She's very feminine and her good looks attracts a lot of men. She makes an ideal mate because she's so giving and loves peace and harmony. She's so sexy, seductive, and charming. A very social creature and very romantic and sentimental. Be sure and appeal to her romantic nature and she's all yours! SCORPIO (October 24 - November 21) - This is a very intense and mysterious woman. She doesn't do anything half-hearted and when she sets her sights on a man she will pursue him with relentless intensity. She may even scare you away with her intensity, jealousy, and possessiveness. She can be a very moody and emotional person. Don't get on the wrong side of this woman because she can make a dangerous enemy and will stop at nothing to get even with you. Very intense in bed and probably the best lover in the Zodiac. SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21) - She's very independent and loves her freedom. If you try to pin her down and you're the jealous and possessive type, you will scare this woman away. She loves the outdoors and sports, so plan you're activities outside and play sports and attend sporting events. She loves to travel, so take her places to capture her heart. Enjoy her while she's around because her heart is known to wander. She doesn't like long-term commitments. You must have a good sense of humor and be happy-go-lucky like her. CAPRICORN - (December 22 - January 19) - This woman is very reserved in the beginning but once you have broken down her barriers, she will love you with all her heart with lots of intensity. She's very ambitious and career-oriented. Appeal to her by talking about making money and attaining goals. Move slow with this woman. You must become her friend first before you can get her in the sack. She's not into casual sex, so you must not be sexually aggressive with this woman.
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AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18) - Very intelligent and you must appeal to her mind. Can be very elusive and afraid of commitment. There are a lot of bachelorettes born under this sign and they usually marry late in life. She's a strong believer in friendship and will remain your friend even after you have broken up. Keep in mind that they can be a little cold-natured, so if you're expecting a hot & sexy passionate sex-goddess, then you may be disappointed. PISCES (February 19 - March 20) - If you want a loving, devoted, affectionate, sympathetic woman to cater to your every need, this is the woman for you. This woman need lots of affection and attention. The more romance you can give her the better! She's got lots of love to give in return. She's very emotional and moody, so you will have to help keep her balanced emotionally.
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on her because you're different than the other men she's used to who come on all hot and horny acting like a dog in heat. In conclusion, if a woman continues to reject your advances, be sure and have a heart to heart talk with her about you are not getting your needs met in the relationship. If she refuses to compromise, then it's a simple choice. Live with it or move on someone who can meet your physical needs.
How to Tell When Single Women Are in the Mood For Sex
As you probably know, men and women's sex drives are different. Men are ready to have sex at anytime and don't really have to wait to be in the mood for sex. Single women's sex drive is much more complicated and her moods are subject to change. If you know when she's more likely to be in the mood for sex, you can use this to your advantage to seduce single women for some really "hot and passionate" sex. All you have to know is when her menstrual period begins and when it is about to start. Let me explain why: Researchers have discovered that a woman's sex drive is strongest on the sixth and seventh day after her period begins. Also, another time when her sexual appetite peaks is the three days just before she starts her menstrual period. So, my friend, it would be to your advantage to monitor the menstrual cycle of the woman you're with so you'll know when she's mostly likely to be horny and receptive to your sexual advances and when she is most likely to turn into a sexual volcano, ready to explode!
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Here are the top ten flirting gestures, body language, and actions that let you know a single woman is interested in you: 1) Eyebrow flash: She raises both eyebrows exaggeratedly for a couple of seconds, followed by a rapid lowering to the normal position. The flash is often combined with a smile and some eye contact. 2) Lip lick: Very common. Some women use only a single-lip lick, wetting the upper or lower lip, while others run the tongue around the entire lip area. 3) Short darting glances: Usually occurs in sets, with an average of three glances each. 4) Hair flip: She pushes her fingers through her hair. This can be one hand movement or more of a stroking motion. 5) Coy smile: She gives you a sort of half-smile, showing little if any tooth, combined with a downward gaze or very brief eye contact. 6) Whisper: She leans over and speaks into her friend's ear, just like in junior high school. 7) Primping: She pats or smoothes her clothing, even if it doesn't need any adjusting. 8) Skirt hike: The hem goes up to expose a little more leg. 9) Object caress: Fondling keys, sliding hands up and down a glass, playing with toys or other things on the table. Very sensual. 10) Solitary dance: While seated, she moves in time to the music, with her eyes on you.
Recognizing Arousal
If the girl you are with is interested in you, she will exhibit certain signs of attraction and arousal. Each little mannerism, for example the sparkle in her eyes, her tone of voice, her body language should be taken into consideration when trying to decide if the lady you are with is genuinely interested in you. Signs Of Arousal Wide, easy smiles accompanied with a relaxed face. She blushes frequently and her skin tone become redder. She maintains eye contact throughout and her pupils are dilated (they become larger). She would often blink more frequently than usual and her eye lashes flutter. You might even
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notice a sparkle in her eye. The eyes are windows to the soul and are one of the most accurate ways of telling if she is attracted to you. Subconscious biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, wetting her lips or even chewing her fingernails. While talking, she is slowly stroking her cocktail glass (or any cylindrical object) up and down with her thumb and index finger. (reveals what she is thinking of, if you get my meaning) She might also be fiddling with her jewelry. She starts sitting up and her arms aren't limp. If her crossed leg is pointing in your general direction and rocking back and forth. She adjusts the tone and pitch of her voice to match yours. In fact, any sigh that she is mimicking you can be taken as a sign of interest. For example, laughing in unison or crossing her legs if you've crossed yours. She winks at you in the middle of a conversation or even from a distance. This means she really is interested in you. Even exposing the palms of her hand facing you show that she might be interested in you as it has been proven to be a subconscious sign telling you that she has nothing to hide. She twirls her hair around her fingers or perhaps strokes her hair lightly with her hand while maintaining eye contact.
To be more correct, women don't want sex - they want good sex. Women's sexual desires are much greater than most men realize. But, unlike men, who are just after sex, women are looking for great sexual experiences. Women are very discriminating and choosy in picking partners. They are only interested in having a sexual encounter with a partner that: 1. sexually arouses them and 2. promises, by his manner or image or personality, to be "good in bed". Women want exciting, provocative, imaginative partners who will lead them through great sexual experiences. Though their sexual desire may be very high, they will pass up just any sexual encounter waiting to find the one that promises to be special. The fact that women are choosy about who they go to bed with is a dilemma for men, but there is one good aspect to this trait. Women, once they do choose, tend to stay with him, and are reluctant to change partners. Women know that good sex is hard to find, so once they have it, they would rather hang on to that relationship than go back out into the market place. Keep in mind this propensity to stay in a relationship because of sex exists only as long as the sex is good. The last thought in this section is something that I have come to realize is a cardinal rule to be used in reading women. That is: WOMEN HAVE SEX WITH MEN WHO THEY WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH. At first, this phrase may sound too simple and obvious to have any wisdom to it, but let me expand on it. The meaning behind it is, that if a woman decides that she would like to sleep with someone, she will pursue that person relentlessly. And on the other hand, if a woman has decided that she is not interested in sleeping with someone, no amount of pursuit or persuasion is going to move her. Many men have wasted their precious time and energy by ignoring this reality. We will show you how you can read women well enough to know whether or not to continue interest in her, or to bow out and put your energies into women where the odds are greater.
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Meeting men in a public place naturally and by accident Honest men Nice men who treat them with respect Men in tight jeans A man with a good sense of humor Men with a outgoing and friendly personality A man who is ambitious and knows where he is going in life Men who have the ability to be himself and not try to put on an act Men who listen to them and try to get to know them
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"Oh, baby you're so good!" "Oooooooooh!" "Oh, God, oh, oh" "I love this!" "Aaaaaaaaah!" And one of the ultimate sounds you can make is a simple, "Oh,____________"(her name) during the heat of passion. Be sure it's her name though.....you're going to be up shit creek if you call out another girl's name during lovemaking. Moans and groans are very effective in arousing passion in single women. Just start out making soft moans and groans and increase the volume when she's nearing an orgasm. In closing, follow these tips that will let her know that she is pleasing you and will turn you into a sexual Super Stud.
Excitation Techniques
Whispering Techniques If body language communicates 90% of what is said during courting, then talking to them in their ear (or whispering) should be responsible for about 50% of that. The ear is a very erogenous zone. AND WOMEN LOVE IT WHEN THEY ARE WHISPERED TO. Everyone does. If a below average chick says something remotely sexy in your ear, you will be way more turned on than if she said it to you face to face. The same goes for women. So if the bar is loud ( and you should look for above average loudness bars) you have every right to use this technique: she wont ask you "why are you whispering in my ear" because she knows it's loud. When you start talking to her, immediately reach for getting your lips around 9 inches or so from her ear. Then if she is responding by letting you talk to her in that manner, try to get closer and closer as the dialog develops. If she isn't backing away every time you are responding to something you are saying, and if she keeps asking you questions or is trying to make conversation, you know you are good and can go on with this method. Within five minutes you should be talking to her IN her ear, as your lips should be almost touching her ear. While you are carrying out the whisper technique, you should be also working on the second seduction method called "boob touch".
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Boob touch The boob touch technique works like this: You are both standing in a club or bar, you have already approached her, sparked a conversation, and while talking (whispering) to her, you hold your drink with both hands in front of your chest and stand very close to her. This is a standard "I'm just socializing" position. By having your gin and tonic (or what have you) right in front of your chest, you try to ever so slightly touch her boobs (not the nipples just yet) while you are whispering to her. Don't bring attention to it, it is happening merely as an unintentional accident: you are trying to make sure she hears what you are saying by talking to her in her ear, but because you have to reach over to her ear, your knuckles are accidentally brushing against her boobs and nipples. Proceed to repeat this throughout your conversation, quickly brushing against her nipples. Again, if she keeps making conversation it means she is enjoying it (green light). Sometimes you will notice that they just start asking the most bland and pathetic questions, meaning, " don't stop cause I love it". Keep this up for as long as you feel like it. We do recommend changing gears while they are still wet, so within twenty minutes of talking via the "boob touch" method, you can take it to the next level. The boob touch can also work if she is sitting by the bar: lets say she is on a stool and you want to hit on her: approach her from the side, as in, don't stand in front of her knees (since you wont be able to reach over to her breasts. Stand next to her (next to her legs) in a way that you can have easy, access to her tits while reaching over to talk to her. If you two are both sitting, you can easily use the "subliminal leg touch technique" Subliminal leg touch technique If you are both sitting, the situation gets slightly different. You can't be reaching over to accidentally be brushing against her breast. So in this case, you can use other parts of you body to make contact with hers, after all, its about the physical contact. If you are both on bar stools and you are facing each other, you can make both of your legs softly interlock with hers during an attempt to reach over and better hear what she is saying. If you are both sitting at a table, facing each other, at least your ankles should touch, hopefully proceeding to a footsie, where you run your ankle along her leg. If you are both sitting at a table, perpendicular to each other, your knees can touch.
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If you are both in a booth, next to each other, your elbows, legs and knees can come in contact. If you are sitting on a bar stool, and she comes around but doesn't have a seat, offer yours. If she says no ( they usually do) then stand up any way, claiming you sat too much at the office. Then, if you are both standing up, you can carry out the boob touch. After you carry out the whispering, the boob touch or the leg touch techniques for twenty minutes or so, you will notice that she will be enjoying it as much as you are. That's good! This means that you only are two steps from bringing her back.
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About SEX
Sex - When?
So when is it the appropriate time? This is a tough one. It will vary greatly from couple to couple. I can tell you that the first date is not the time. This hurts, but work with me here. Do you think for one minute that you are so irresistible that any single woman will throw herself at you after three hours of pasta and Merlot? Right. If that were the case, you wouldn't be reading this book and your mail would be addressed: Brad Pitt, Hollywood, CA. No, there's something else going on. Maybe she does this with every guy she goes out with. She might be drunk. She may be extremely desperate for attention from a guy, any guy and thinks that sex is the quickest way to get it. She may ask you for $100 when it's over! It may be some combination of the above. The question is - is this what you want? Not the sex, dummy, the woman. Do you want to spend more time with her? Are you ready to introduce her to your friends? What about the second date, or the third? OK, this could get silly. Obviously, there is no magic number. All relationships are going to move at different rates and intensities. If you make the decision that you want to move to a physical relationship, what you need is a reality check. Talk to her! Do you actually have a relationship going here? Is she part of your life? Do you share a lot? Do you trust her? Are you close enough that you can have an honest discussion about having sex? If you can't talk to her about it how are you going to get naked with her? We don't want to remove the passion and make this sound too clinical, but it's important that her expectations are properly focused. If you are not ready to commit to an exclusive relationship, the time to reveal that is before you hit the sack. If that's still OK, and the two of you want to proceed, well . . .
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joyous and carefree acquaintanceship. It damns you for lack of respect for the woman, and for lack of discipline on your part. It is begging for trouble. Getting to know a woman, "touching" her is critically important in a relationship. Physical contact at the wrong time can intrude, hinder real understanding, block communication. You can learn more about each other by joining your voices in song, by becoming one in music and lyrics and poetry, than by sleeping together. You can get a deeper sense of communion by sharing a meal than by sharing a bed. Just holding hands or a gentle kiss can easily be more explosively effective in linking the two of you than having sex. Physical intimacy implies commitment, responsibility, a sense of permanence. It is a promise. The two of you should be fully committed to each other before you seal the bond with lovemaking. Sex should never be undertaken lightly, without a full understanding of its implications... and consequences.
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dates find them attractive. If there's no sign of affection, many men said that they might not pursue a second date. DoctorTom said: "I've never had a second date with a woman who was afraid to touch me on the first date. This doesn't mean sex, or even a goodnight kiss but a hug goes a **long** way toward making me more interested in someone. If you're interested, more than a handshake is necessary to get me to call you for a second date. If you're not interested, a firm handshake conveys that nicely, and we can all part friends." EVermin wants a sign: "It's not necessarily sex that men seek on the first date. Just something ANYTHING that hints the woman is interested physically in the guy is a helping hand towards the date and the relationship. A little physical affection, even if it seems a bit extreme to you, makes all the difference in the world when the guy is deciding 'how the date went' later on." Phantom9 said be positive and reassuring: "One level, the male may be seeking affirmation of his attractiveness. [The woman has a few options if she doesn't want to have sex right away.] The woman, if interested, could say something like 'I think you are terrific and I'm enjoying getting to know you. I'm interested in all aspects of a relationship with you but think we need to take some time to let the relationship grow. Please call me again, soon.' That tone is positive and reassuring and gives the man hope. She will likely get a second date and a third...if she continues to show such understanding and skill in the emotional dance." Survey Says: "Saying No Increases A Guy's Respect!" Who said that men who ask for sex really want it right away? For many of the men who wrote in, asking for sex on the first date is really a test: if she says yes, these guys lose respect for her and won't pursue anything long term! If she says, "let's wait," many men express increased respect and interest in pursuing a relationship! These guys want to know you're a woman with principles, even as they try to get you into bed. JB sums up this view: "If I were to ask a women for sex on the first date I would hope for the answer to be no, because I would have so much more respect for her." LobsterHunter says sex on the first date can lead to second thoughts: "I think that most of us men have thoughts of wanting sex on the first date. I also think that we do not expect it. I have slept with first dates in the past, and always left the experience with negative feelings about my partner even if I enjoyed the sex." Lets_b_friends doesn't ask for sex, but wonders about women who want it too soon: "If a woman indicates that she wants to hit the sack on date number one (and I've met a few that have done this) I'm usually turned off big time. I mean seriously, if a girl will sleep with me on the first date and she really doesn't even know me that well, how many other men has she been with??"
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An Old Fashioned Stud Muffin wants a challenge: "I frequently engage in what might be regarded as 'seductive' behavior, even on first dates. To me, cuddling and kissing are their own rewards. Several times woman have assumed this meant I wanted to have sex with them; actually it is always disappointing to a man when a woman gives in so easily! Yes, you should act interested in the man and pay attention to him, but men will usually value you more highly if they perceive you to be more of a challenge." Perflode said: "Surely no one looking to build a relationship would want a woman who is willing to sleep with a man after just meeting him. That is definitely not an attractive quality in a lady." So what's a man or a woman to do in these situations? If what many of these guys have written is any indication, men think about and ask for sex on the first date, but often don't expect it. What sort of dilemma does that create for the woman? Several other men who wrote in said they would sleep with a woman on the first date, but would then rule her out for more than a purely physical relationship. Could such men pass over women who would be fine long term partners, only because they agreed to his initial request for sex? How can women know beforehand what the longer term consequences of saying "yes" are? And what if the women had a similar test for they guys? Would anyone pass? In Part II we'll hear the most common responses from men and women who answer the question, "Should you have sex on the first date?"
Part II Men and Women Respond What does sex on the first date mean? Do you have it? Do you want to? In Part I of this two part exploration into the mating habits of men and women, these questions were raised by a reader named Sally, as well as the many Tools readers who responded to her question. The surprising, and most popular response said, at least in part, that asking for sex on the first date was not always what it seemed. That is, men didn't always want sex, even when they say so directly. In fact, many men said that when they ask for sex they're looking for an acknowledgment that their partner finds them attractive and wants to continue dating. What's more, guys said that many of them won't enter into a long-term relationship with women who have sex on the first date. Those provocative answers bring us to Part II of our sex-on-the-first-date chronicles. This time out, we take a look at readers' views on sex, when to have it, and what it means to actually have it on the first date. With guys, responses fell into two camps:
those who said sex should wait (anywhere from three dates to years).
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men who said sex is sex, that if it happens on the first date, it can be a sign that the relationship is off to a good start.
Then there is the small collection of responses from women: Many wrote in to say that whether you wait or not, all the guys who are right for you will respect your wishes, especially if you want to wait until you know each other better. Opinion One: Sex is Too Sacred to Rush A large number of guys said avoid the quick sexual fix and wait until you get to know a bit more about your partner. The way they see it, you're respecting yourself and respecting her. Cigueno says the importance of sex fades: "I am middle aged and there was a time of youthful exuberance wherein the spiritual (or psychological) aspect of sexuality held much less sway. But now, who and what a woman is 'spiritually' or 'psychologically' is as important, if not more so, as her figure or her face ever was to me. Speaking as a male (and only for myself) I would consider this whole business of having sex on the first date, as a serious case of self-delusion. If I approached the first date entertaining the notion of having sex, I would suspect that I had fallen down some adolescent (and/or Freudian) mine shaft." Honor yourself and wait, says mrwookie: "Those who desire and pursue sex on a first and second date are in my opinion abandoning their self respect and regard the other as nothing more than cheap meat. They ridicule all that is wondrous and unique about making love. To those who resist having sex on a first date, you honor yourself, your body, and the sanctity of this mystery. If your date persists on sex too soon, then that person is not worth your time and soul. There are better people out there and they are more worthy of your time and presence." Opinion Two: "We're in the 90s. Don't Be So Uptight!" Call this group of male respondents the Free Love gang. These guys don't see any problem with first date sex. For them, there's no denying that men think about sex a lot, whether they say so or not. In one form or another, their motto is, "Act Today!" Troublewandre says women can't have it both ways: "Would you prefer it if men expressed no interest in sex with you at all? Haven't you, Sally, ever met anyone you'd just like to throw down on the ground and do it with, right then and there? Sometimes you just feel the attraction." Who, Me? tells women not to overreact: "We certainly have nothing to lose by asking; if a woman is such a prude that she's offended by the question, it's a sure bet that we'd never get anything out of the relationship but headaches anyway." The name JoeStud says it all: "By all means, sex on the first date is expected and required! If the date went well, then it's a great way for him to show he cares and might
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want another date. If the date went badly, at least he can salvage a sexual conquest and a story he can tell his buddies. Get with it Sally, after all this is the 90's!" Babemaster says lust is a two way street: "Think about your question from both sides. On your first date with a new guy, you are checking him out to see how he presents himself, how he acts and how he treats you, right? The guy is doing the same thing, he wants to know things about you as well, like how you look, if you laugh at his jokes...most importantly he wants to know whether you will be compatible in bed. Never forget this will most likely form the basis of a lasting relationship if this part of the date is successful." Women Say: "He'll Wait If He's the Right Guy" I've already mentioned that few women respond to Sally's question. Those who did said that Sally should do what she wants, while keeping in mind that if she'd rather wait, the right guy is willing to wait, too. daisydontgo says wait if you want more: "I think that if you sleep with a man on the first date that is fine, but if you want a more serious, long term relationship then give yourself better odds by waiting until you know him and he knows you a little better....I've found saying I am not going to sleep with you because I don't know you well enough, but you can stay and I'll hug you all night if you want' can be mutually beneficial, if you have the willpower..." Take your time, says PrettyRtist: "If he's attracted to you sex will always be on his mind, it's only natural, but what isn't natural is demanding sex from you when you don't want to be intimate with him so early. Take your time and get to know him and if his intentions are honorable he will wait until you're ready. But don't be disappointed if after a few dates and refusing his advances he stops calling you, this shows he really is only looking for the sexual quick fix, and some men are spoiled by how readily sex is available. It's your body, your life, and your decision, do what feels right for you." We've got men who say 'wait,' men who 'go for it,' and women who say 'the right guy for you is the one who respects your wishes.' And on top of all that, Part I showed us that when men ask, they might not be asking for sex, even if they ask for it! How's that for confusing? According to what these guys say, many want merely a sign of affection from their dates, a small gesture that shows she's interested. Is there any way out of this tangle of mixed messages and psychological one upmanship? Why do some men admittedly put women up to a test by indicating they want sex right away? If the answer men really want to their advances is a very polite "no, but I really like you and hope we can continue dating," couldn't they ask their question a little more directly? When a guy asks for sex, but means, "Are you attracted to me?" he might not get the answer he wants. Should women have to refuse men's advances in order to prove that they're relationship material? To the small portion of male readers who made it clear that some guys want sex, and only sex, out of their dates, I say, at least you're being honest about what you want.
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To all the guys who ask for sex, but really want something else, here's my advice: concentrate more on what you're really trying to say and say it directly, rather than using the occasion to test a potential mate, or get her to reveal her interest in you. Stop messing with heads! If you ask a convoluted question, you never know whether you're getting the answer you want.
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TIP #5 - Light a candle before making love. A candle is the perfect lighting for lovemaking. It creates a romantic atmosphere and makes a woman feel sexier and more relaxed. TIP #6 - This final tip - Be the best you can be sexually. Single women want to be satisfied sexually by a good lover. If you're not good in bed she may lose interest in you and find someone else who can satisfy her needs. If you are a good lover and bring her immense pleasure and passionate orgasms, she will literally be begging to have sex with you again and again. She won't be able to get enough of you!
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Feelings Of Guilt
If you are the one initiating the breakup, you will feel at least some guilt. To break up with someone is one of the meanest things you can possibly do to anyone, ever. Breaking up with someone is not just rejection, it is much more than that. To be rejected by someone you have shared your thoughts with, someone who you love deeply, is heart wrenching indeed. It is just like saying, "I've seen the kind of person who you are and I don't think you're the one for me. Go away." Why Feel Guilty? In order to exorcise these feelings of guilt during your breakup, just tell yourself that: You are actually helping her because you have avoided a messy divorce if both of you had been married. You are the one that is bringing her happiness as she does not deserve a jerk like you. You are giving her independence and she no longer will be trapped in a relationship doomed to failure. She can now concentrate on building a successful career and when she is a billionaire, she will thank you for it. These suggestions are all rather extreme but believe me, they work wonders getting rid of those pesky feelings of guilt I have whenever I'm about to break up with someone. The bottom line is this. You are the one who is doing her a favor and so you should not feel guilty at all. Of course, this is only from the dumper's perspective. The dumpee does not view it this way at all.
Breakup Speech
Dear ________,(her name) I know this is hard for you but our relationship is really not working out and I feel we cannot go on like this. I think you are a wonderful person and that you really do not deserve a jerk like me.
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I have felt this way for a long time now and I thought we would be able to work things out. I am so sorry that I have to hurt you like this and you deserve better. I hate myself for doing this to you but we have to move on. It is not your fault and I will always cherish the time spent with you. It's over but don't worry, we can still be friends.
The Breakup Speech should only be used as a template. For maximum effectiveness, you must customize your breakup speech to suit your relationship. I strongly suggest that you break the news to her personally, not on the phone, but face to face.
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The simple, "Could you please honestly tell me why you are breaking up with me?" should work since she most likely has prepared a list of answers for you. Once you have identified the reasons, it's time to formulate a plan of action as suggested in the next chapter on getting her back.
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Now this has worked in a few cases that I have witnessed, but think about it: she left you for a silly reason and now she wants you back. Last time you checked you are not a spare tire. I usually point out how shitty that must have felt and that you know that feeling already (hint hint). By now she is hoping you feel sorry for her, which is the first step in bringing out those old feelings you had. The best defense is to start talking of how happily involved you are with your new girlfriend, of how great she is, and describe with miniscule and painful detail all the things she does that she never did. The conversation will not last long, she will never call back. She calls again. I guess she is a little more stubborn then we originally assumed. You'll notice that this time conversation will be more casual, and she will be very careful in saying anything that will spark you in talking about your girlfriend. In fact, she is somewhat smarter this time. Be careful, she will use the "Past Approach". She will talk about times prior to your girlfriend of when the two of you were dating and the wonderful moments you spent together. A good deadly reply that always shuts them up is "yeah, going out with you was a good, growing experience. Now I know what I don't want in a woman". A nuclear bomb would have done less damage. After that blow you can rest assured she will not call you ever again. Unfortunately she has not been convinced yet and she calls again for another blow. Her mental attacks will be a little stronger and clearer this time. She will bring up the letters and poems you have written her and start reading them to you. At first you'll be surprised she still has them, and this might cause you to start feeling again just because she didn't throw anything of you away (even if at the time she said she had). "Do you remember this poem you wrote me?" she will ask. Answer with the carefully tested answers. Con scientists have determined that this works best with a little pause prior to speaking with a disgusted tone: "I wrote that shit to you? What was I thinking..." Guys, don't forget to throw your letters away. Your current girlfriend doesn't like finding that stuff in your house. More Techniques She will call you. Tell her you are busy because.. uh... your girlfriend is over. She will ask you to call her back. Say "sure". Don't forget to "Forget" to call back. Her final and desperate move will be to invite you out for a coffee or dinner. At first I thought, it would be wise to decline. If I accept, my girlfriend will have my head, and my ex might will think that finally I have come to my senses and I want her back. My girlfriend surprisingly more evil and diabolical than me told me I should go. Dress nice, look spiffy and don't forget to shine your shoes. If you got a nice shirt your girlfriend gave you, make sure you wear it.
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Finally you get to see her. Tell her how she has changed, she looks a little shorter... did you put on some weight? (that comment works better than a stun-gun. Notice the twitch on her eyebrow). She will compliment you on how nicely you are dressed and you get to reply with "yeah, my girlfriend bought me this really nice shirt". Spend the next 15 minutes discussing about her great clothing tastes, and how that reminds you how great she looked just the other day when... don't overdue it though. The waiter will grab your drink order, and she will take this chance to ask you, after dribbling the question around a bit, if you are interested in getting back with her. While looking over the menu, reply with the patented answer "no, not really... but we can still be friends... hmmm, this looks good!" and point out to her how the pasta All'Arrabbiata is great and she should try it. Congratulations! You have destroyed her. She will sit there looking miserable (make sure you ask "you look so down, what's the matter?" - being a woman she will answer you with a typical "nothing" answer). Notice how she will hardly touch the food, this most likely caused by a the deadly combo "did you gain weight?" question and your "let's be friends" answer. I will probably get criticized for my childish behavior, but I can't help it. I am evil and vengeful and I always enjoy my steaming and evil plotting. I find it better to conclude this with the wise words of a friend: "ex-girlfriends should be handled like nuclear waste. Bury them in the ground and hope they're harmless in 10,000 years."
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If you can accept the fact that no one woman is perfect, you'll have a lot easier time accepting her as she is and not try to change her or criticize her for being the way she is. Always, always live your love life by this creed: If you can't accept a woman as she is, then move on. It's not fair for the both of you, especially when she does not get the respect and dignity that she deserves.
Be on the Lookout for Single Women Who Use You for Financial Purposes
I need you to be aware of and be on the lookout for single women that will just use you for financial purposes. She's not interested in you, just what she can get out of you. I call these women Gold-Diggers and you need to avoid them. This woman is only interested in taking you for your money and whatever else she can get out of you. Sure, you may get a few dates but it's only to eat at fancy restaurants, drive your fancy car, going on extravagant dates, out-of-town trips, to get nice gifts or money from you, etc. She's just using you and stringing you along. After dishing out all this money and expenses, she may not even sleep with you either. It's all an act to tease you and use you. She may act like she's interested in you, but she's only interested in what she can get out of you. Look for these signs when you first meet this type. She will ask you questions like these:
What do you do for a living? How much money do you make? Do you own your own home? What kind of car do you drive? Do you have a boat? What kind of watch are you wearing?
Questions like these could indicate that she's a Gold-Digger. If she finds out that you are not a man of financial means, she's not going to date you. So, if you determine that a single woman that you are interested in is a Gold-Digger, move on to someone else. I don't know about you, but I hate being used by a woman for my money or a woman is just interested in my assets instead of me as a person.
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Freedom
People have a natural need to preserve their emotional freedom. You need to recognize this. You can not press the issue and talk her out of giving it up. She has to come to her own conclusion that a relationship with you is preferable to an independent single existence. The prime reason will be because you satisfy her emotional needs. That is what you must work on. Of course, this works both ways. You will have to make the same sacrifice. That is what makes relationships so difficult. The conditions and circumstances must be right for both parties. Unfortunately, the Beatles were not quite correct when they sang, "All you need is love." You must have boundaries. You probably already do without recognizing them as such. A boundary is an invisible line between you and another person. You have to maintain your identity as a unique person in any relationship. There is an old saying, "good fences make good neighbors." No matter how close and intimate you become with someone, you must preserve your self-respect. Good boundaries make good relationships. They must be in place and clear to both parties early in the dating process. It works both ways. Some men do not respect the boundaries of single women. They will be jealous, possessive and controlling. Don't violate a single woman's boundaries. Don't let her violate yours.
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private business. Her professed "love" for you complicates your life. Your devoted admirer has become an annoyance, a damned nuisance, a scourge. Having a woman completely enthralled by you, obsessed with you, totally and entirely "in your power" is the stuff of fantasy, and adolescent fantasy at that. Certainly, having a woman "hanging all over you" might be flattering to your ego, but, for all that, it is an unhealthy state of affairs, a dubious way to run a relationship, a highly mixed blessing. It demeans the woman, distracts you from attending to your life's work, and drains your energy. It might well bring ruin upon the woman... and upon the object of her affections, you. What compels a woman to become smitten and enamored, entranced, obsessed, obsessed with a man, one particular man? How can a passion for one special person brutally enslave her heart and mind, giving her no rest, no peace? Why does she believe, uncompromisingly, that only this one man, distant, unobtainable, holds the promise of fulfillment for her? The obsessed woman wants the unobtainable, precisely that which she cannot have, the man who is beyond her grasp. She may fixate upon a man already married or in an established relationship, or one totally unsuitable for reasons of age difference or other cultural barriers. Inacessibility and resistance superheat her passion past all normal bounds. This is the notorious "Romeo and Juliette" effect, familiar to generations of frustrated lovers. The obsessed woman falls in love with an "ideal", a picture in her mind, not a real person, and she develops the conviction, nurtures the illusion that this man is her one and only soulmate. If the man fails to respond, if he denies her... even this enhances his "specialness", his aura of mystery and desirability. She is lost. The obsessed woman has gaps, blank spots in her life. She is unfulfilled, incomplete, desolate. She is driven to fill the emptiness, the void within her. Her frantic pursuit of a man is a cry of desperation, an expression of the search for purpose and meaning in life that at some level must move all humans. The subject of mad, obsessive love has received extensive attention in literature and the arts. For further reference, consider Tolstoy's novel, Anna Karenina, not to mention the movies Play Misty and, of course, Fatal Attraction.
Why You Should Avoid Women Who Flirt & Power Single Women
Now I want to warn you about getting involved with these two types of single women:
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The Natural Flirt She's very attractive and she flirts with you. You interpret this as her expression of interest in you. She's exciting to be around because she constantly shows her affection. She flatters you often. You can't believe the attention she gives you. Soon you're in a relationship together. Now a problem arises. She doesn't limit her flirting to you alone. Before you know it she's all over your best friend, and she doesn't even bother to hide it. When you ask what's going on, she can't understand your concern, because to her flirting is as natural as talking. Power Single Women Power women, dresses to kill, drives the expensive car, never leaves the house without perfect make up and a mobile phone, and lives for her career. All her time and energy goes into her job. A job for which she feels the need to appear perfect at all times. She pencils you into her personal organizer, between sales meetings. If you're lucky she spends money on you, like that makes up for the lack of quality time together. She's intent on changing you. She wants you to earn more, and dress better, and live up to her high standards. She's strong to the point of being dominant and really has no interest in love other than the physical and superficial aspects of it. Within a few months she's spotted someone else more promising, and dumps you over the phone on her way to a "get rich quick" seminar.
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