New Moon

1. Party

I ran through the green forest surrounding the ever-rainy Forks quickly, let ting the unapealling scent of game guide me in the right direction. Tracking and hunting never required more than minimal focus; it was embedded into the very c ore of my vampiristic nature. Instead, I was thinking about the long day to come : September thirteenth, Bella's birthday. I remembered her telling me how much s he detested any form of attention. Knowing Bella, that would most definitely inc lude today. That she was turning eighteen only added more unnecissary animosity to the day. Bella had a fear of growing older, but that was mostly in tribute to me. Where Bella would get older and gray, I was forever frozen at seventeen. I agonized over it every day. We had so very little time together... I gave a long suffering sigh and made a sharp turn through the woods, scenting a lion nearby. Bella would never know that I loathed days like these even more than she did . It was a selfish thing--I knew that-- but I didn't want her to leave. As Bella got older, she got even closer to death, but that was good--perfect--because I did want her to live a human life, a normal life. One where she wasn't frozen fo rever and forced to forever walk this earth as one of the eternally damned. No, more than anything else--even more time with her-- I wanted to be human again. F or her. To be able to wrap my arms around her without fear of breaking her. To b e able to kiss her passionately without any limits. To be able to walk out into the sunlight with her without sparkling like a freakshow. I would give anything-anything--just to be human with her. But that would never happen, and I knew th at. As if someone threw ice water on my head, my fantasies came to an abrupt hal t and I was left, for the first time since I'd become a vampire, cold. I remembered the first time I had taken Bella home, to meet my family; how i t had all seemed so absurd at the time that she never ran away screaming in terr or like I expected her to when she walked into a house full of vampires. Carlisl e and Esme had welcomed her kindly, thinking about how brave Bella was for comin g to a house full of vampires and how fourtunate we were to have found each othe r. Jasper had kept his distance, but had helped Bella to stay calm with his extr a-ability--not that it was needed. Bella was always almost unnaturally cool and self-possessed every time I was with her. Rosalie had been fuming that I'd betra yed our secret to a human; Emmett had been helping her to calm down. And Alice, my sister of sorts, had bounded up to Bella and hugged her like she was a long l ost friend, which, in Alice's case, was pretty much it. To Alice, what with her psychic abilities, Bella was the best friend that she'd never had the chance to meet. I'd been afraid that Alice's forward advances had been too much, but Bella had answered to her overwhelming exuberance with a smile, and suddenly I had so foolishly thought that it would all be okay. That didn't mean that I'd stopped watching for signs, though. Signs for when it was all just too much and Bella co

uldn't take another moment of my world. And I'd let her go, knowing that would b e what's best for her. Hunting tonight was just another nessicary precaution for Bella's birthday party tonight. Carlisle and Esme were still completely overjoyed that I had finally found love. Both then and now, it hardly mattered that the girl I'd fallen in love wit h was heartbreakingly human, and had the sweetest blood I'd ever smelled in my e ighty-odd years. It hardly mattered that part of my mind was always trained on killing her. I t hardly mattered that the thirst and burning that clawed at my throat made me f eel as if I were being flayed alive in the mouth of hell. It hardly mattered tha t my throat was dry, desiccated, and ripped into an all-consuming enferno whenev er she was within proximity. Because I loved her. I loved her with every fiber o f my being: unconditionally, irrationally, and irrevocably, and nothing could ch ange that, including death. And as long as I was burning, Bella was alive. As lo ng as I was burning, Bella was whole and human, her skin like peaches and roses instead of pale and cold. As long as I was burning, my eyes didn't glow red from her blood, her body limp in my hands. And I would do whatever it took so that I kept on burning, because as long as I was burning, the girl I loved lived on--w hole, ever-changing, safe, and heartbreakingly human. For that, I would gladly k eep burning. With that last thought, I stopped thinking and gave myself completly to the hunt , knowing that when I got back to Forks, there woud be a long debate awaiting me concerning the differences between right and wrong. *disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga, and I will not be posting anything from any one of Stephenie Meyer's books. However, I will be adding to them.