As a foolish man I go so far in this post as to speak of the experience of prayer.

I write this not to speak of great experiences but, if possible, to quiet our minds, and to speak a word of peace in a culture that is full of madness and spiritual delusion. There are many wonderful spiritual stories to be found in the lives of the saints and elders. Many people, having read such stories, easily develop expectations that such things as visions and ecstasies are normative for the spiritual life. They are indeed, not normative, but quite the opposite. Such experiences, though occasionally genuine, are far more often born out of our own imaginations and delusions or even demonic deceit. Orthodox writings on the spiritual life (such as St. Ignatius Brianchaninovs The Arena) are abundantly clear about this. There is an entire spiritual industry that caters to the desire for spiritual experience and related states of consciousness. The so-called New Age Movement is largely concerned with this. A significant segment of contemporary Christianity is enmeshed in this with deep confusion and delusion about spiritual experience. Compared to such things the hallmark of the Orthodox spiritual life is sobriety (nepsis) in all things. Despite Orthodoxys reputation as among the most mystical forms of Christianity it is also among the most cautious about the inner life. The reason for this is two-fold: Orthodoxy believes that God is truly real. It does not require constant reassurance from miracles and visions to believe what it knows to be true. But because it knows God to be real it is quite cautious about those things that are not or may not be real. The second reason is also quite simple: human beings, as sinful, spend most of their life in some form of delusion. The clarity required for the spiritual life is something that usually comes with time, much prayer, and not a little asceticism. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. So what is normative for the spiritual life? What should someone expect? The first thing any Christian should expect in prayer is to struggle and to fall. Prayer is struggle to a mans dying breath, says one of the desert fathers. When asked what the monks do all day in the monastery, one of the fathers replied, We fall down and get up, fall down and get up, fall down and get up again. Having said that there still remains something more that is a reasonable expectation. This, however, is the most difficult of things to describe. God is real and true and He does not begrudge us the knowledge of a living relationship with Him. Here I beg the readers patience, I will be a little technical for a moment or two. The fathers teach that icons make present what they represent. This presence is further explained as a hypostatic

representation, that is a presence of the person represented in the icon. There is an awareness of such a presence but not an awareness that presses other things out of the way or that imposes itself upon us. It is a very quiet, even subtle awareness that we are not alone. It should not seem frightening or haunting or any such thing simply there. Our attention (mind in the heart) is so weak that such an awareness often comes and goes. It is not God or the saints who come and go it is our attention. And here I add a few words of caution: The quiet presence of person we may know in prayer is not a public thing it is an intimate matter of the heart and does not belong in the public converse of our lives (just as other intimate parts of our lives should remain intimate and not public). What you find in prayer should generally remain between yourself and your confessor. Even the little I have shared here is more than I would generally care to. Those who speak a great deal about spiritual experiences are either in delusion or far worse. They should be avoided as guides for daily living. They can be the source of great confusion and sadness.

I believer in the power of FAITH. I believe that if you BELIEVE your prayer has power, that it will create positive energy that will influence a particular situation. I think it is more coincidence than actual power from the prayer, but hey; whatever works, right? yes I do, and I do think that we radiate and energy at all times and prayer , meditation, chanting focuses the intention. I believe in Jesus. You can't believe in prayer. I believe prayer works, if that's what you're asking. But that is only because Jesus works. I think most people find it healthy and comforting. I am so glad to hear your surgery went well. You were in many prayers and thoughts. God can do what we cannot. Thank goodness He can fix you easily. He is the great Physician, He made us and He can do far better than the doctors--I know that is why you are still here-after the way the doctors messed with you. You are a miracle pure and simple.