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Family Planning Conference 2010 Reinventing the Squeal A PhD Research Project

Lesley Wright
Email: lesleyawright@gmail.com (not to be referenced without permission from the author)

Hi, I m Lesley Wright. I am completing my PhD in Gender and Womens Studies at Victoria University, and my thesis is called Reinventing the Squeal: the search for a sexual revolution in New Zealand. I decided to undertake this research after some extensive overseas travel, where Id seen a lot of sexualised behaviour enacted by young women, particularly in the UK. Here I m talking about things like PDA, flashing, dirty dancing, hooking up and casual sex. I dont remember seeing much of this kind of behaviour in New Zealand in the 80s and 90s, so it seemed pretty new to me, especially in terms of how common it now appears. A lot of current social opinion about this behaviour is cautionary. It ranges from warnings of moral decay, and fears of psychological damage, to feminist concerns over a backsliding of womens second wave advancements around womens sexuality. But some young women and young feminists respond that this behaviour is actually empowering. Its a way for young women to push back and resist oppressive social stereotypes around womens sexuality and sexual expression, and to explore and discover their sexual selves.
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However, feminist Emily McGuire asks a pertinent question: CLICK SLIDE if all of this is so empowering, why the hell arent men doing it?(p.5) This was the question I wanted to answer, particularly in relation to New Zealand, to see if we are tracking international trends and results, but also to listen to what young women have to say about the social sexual environment they are now navigating. For this research, I used a mixed method approach employing a survey, interviews and an online discussion group. The sample was self-selecting. Voluntary recruitment was conducted on Victoria and Auckland University campuses, and the sample was restricted to New Zealand women aged 18-30. The vast majority of respondents were between 18 and 25. Initially I had hoped to get between 50-100 replies to the survey over 6 months I thought the topic was sensitive, so would have a slow uptake. But instead, by 3 months Id had over 250 responses, and more than 55 young women had requested to be more involved. Many commented that it looked like an interesting and fun project, and others that it was needed, as you can see here: CLICK SLIDE Fifteen heterosexual young women were selected to be interviewed either face to face, by online chat or email. Id hoped this mix would reach a range of young women, capturing the voices of those who might be too shy to participate in person. The young women were open and enthusiastic throughout the project. Many had no qualms discussing intimate details of their sex lives and histories with
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me, disrupting further the idea for me that this was a sensitive topic. For some young women talking about their sex lives with their peers was a common place thing so this was no different. For others, they had no or few outlets for talk, so this was a good opportunity. Much of the academic literature reports a gendered set of outcomes for hook ups and casual encounters. These behaviours are often cited to be of benefit to male psychology, but as risky and negative for young women. Because risk is often the research focus, I wondered how much positive dialogue was being overlooked. If these behaviours ARE predominantly risky, why are so many young women engaging in them? Many seem intelligent, self aware and grounded. It therefore seems sensible to be asking, could women be getting something out of this mode of behaviour? Certainly some young women thought so. CLICK SLIDE I feel it's important to regain sexuality as a right and remove the stigma, so that women can sleep with whomever they want, when they want (much like males) and not be oppressed, labelled or insulted. CLICK SLIDE I hate the sexual double standard that exists and am frequently a victim of it. I hate the feeling of paranoia that inadvertently goes with feeling sexually free, which i guess doesnt make you that free now does it.

These quotes from young women highlight a sense of frustration around the
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sexual double standards they encounter whilst attempting to express and experience their sexuality. It is statements like these that encouraged me to consider that young women might be benefitting from this environment in some way. There may be an amount of pushing back against social restrictions by young women as they try to find a way to be sexual subjects that meets their needs.

This isnt to downplay the degree of risk involved in much of this sexualised behaviour, but risk is not the only way this behaviour can be framed.

The following is a list generated both from the international literature and from the research participants in this project. In line with the literature, young women report downsides, but, significantly, they report upsides to this sexualised behaviours too Some downsides for young women include: CLICK SLIDE Emotional harm, often connected to wanting a relationship where none was offered or intended, and fears around getting emotionally attached Regret for an event Shame about an event, such as a hook up or casual sex encounter Social stigma and reputational damage Feelings of being used Feelings of being devalued because they feel they have a high number of sexual partners and this is not socially acceptable Unsatisfying sex, where your partner doesnt know you, or is selfish, or just not very good
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Feeling unable to express desires freely with a casual partner, or stranger-partner Risks of STIs, having to use ECPs The possibility of being assaulted or raped Being coerced into unwanted and undesired sexual behaviour Some positives for young women include: CLICK SLIDE Being able to experience a range of different partners and sexual styles, and learning about partner preferences Being able to resist social sanctions and pressures to conform to contemporary sexual scripts for women, including the sexual double standard, the socialising impact of stigma and gendered stereotypes Enjoying sex without the hassle of a relationship Enjoying sex without having to be emotionally involved in any way Learning about their sexuality, their bodies and desires Learning what sex means for them, for example trying to reconcile biology based sex education with romance dialogues in books and media Learning personal boundaries around sexual wants and needs Increasing confidence and self-esteem around being sexually desirable Social visibility and currency Being able to have sex when you want Having fun This is a mixed set of outcomes, where young women are trying to avoid the negative and embrace the positive. This tension is a result of their contrary social environment, which is very narrow and has blurry boundaries.
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On one side we have contemporary media and socialising images of young women as active sexual agents. We have an orgasm imperative and medical models of sexuality that depict women as dysfunctional if they are not sexually active or desiring enough. The drive to be sexual for young people is reinforced by the idea that being sexually active is perceived as cool or fashionable, that it confers status and social visibility, and that pluralistic ignorance the idea where young people think their peers are more sexually active then they themselves are encourages young people to be more sexually active to meet an imagined norm. These external messages conflict with internalised messaging young women operate from, that can often frustrate and confuse them:

CLICK SLIDE

Sex is complicated for me... I like it, I want it, but I'm conscious of so many internalised pressures that if I don't have a partner I completely trust, I can't really let go and really enjoy it (R 66)

This internalised set of beliefs are strongly in play for young women. They are very aware that sex can be dangerous in terms of their sexual health: CLICK SLIDE It's good fun but ...[as] long as your safe cause STI's and unwanted Pregnancy are heavy issues (R125)

Awareness over physical dangers is also strong.

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CLICK SLIDE You know from what you hear, in O Week is just really rough for girls getting raped and stuff. Its not very, you know *arghh+... I m not going out.... Girls are maybe like, too cautious, but then theres that, that, theres also that real fear as well (interviewee) Concerns over emotional and psychological wellbeing are predominantly connected to developing emotional attachments: CLICK SLIDE It can be harmless and fun but there is definite potential for confusion about the intentions (of those involved in the 'hook- up') and chance for one or two people getting upset (R118)

They also have to deal with social stigma and reputational risk, where the idealised standard of normal sexual behaviour is invisible, and so a lot of behaviour must be justified as not slutty. The effects of judgement are restrictive and negative: CLICK SLIDE My sex life is definitely dampened when something I enjoyed is judged by friends, making me feel guilty. (R41)

Young women also understand that they need to be in control of themselves, of male sexual access, and of the context in which sexual acts may happen. CLICK SLIDE Re the control thing, my way of controlling my sex life is to make sure I
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absolutely trust the guy before doing anything; IU [sic] can't shake my general mistrust of guys in general and the impression that they're out to take advantage of girls. (interviewee)

Control is often talked about in relation to alcohol: CLICK SLIDE

I think the flashing was pretty harmless and just a bit of fun but i feel horrible about the other thing mostly because i drank far too much, lost control and did stuff i wouldn't normally. (Interviewee)

These factors combine together into an internalised scriptwhich I call the Sexual Gatekeeper Script. It has a strong limiting effect on young womens sexual expression, and although this cautionary tone has positive effects because it encourage safe sex practices, this risk-averse script does appear to be frustrating many young women. This young woman, in reply to the question what would make your sex life better, summarises it nicely: CLICK SLIDE knowing there are no bad social consequences for acting out my desires SUCH AS gossip by other girls, emotional hurt from him leaving, humiliation, having to lie about or hide what sex was had for fear of these things (R105)

Our modern-day sexually active women is therefore much like Goldilocks she is either too hot or too cold, too hard or too soft, and she has a tough time working out which bed is safe for her to sleep in. She is negotiating a sexual
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environment that is on the surface encouraging of her active sexuality, but underneath condemning. She is either a slut or a prude, too dominant and deviant in bed, or not active enough. For our modern-day Goldilocks, working out a safe path to walk along is sometimes painful and sometimes empowering. It is part of her development, her growing up and maturation, of which she is often aware. CLICK SLIDE I think up to a certain age this type of behaviour is to be expected, although - and I don't know why - once you reach that 'certain age' (of adulthood) it becomes embarrassing and a bit gross (R11)

Often she discovers that the safest place for her to be sexual is within the bounds of a relationship. The hook up scene can be dangerous for her to inhabit for long, unless she is a together young woman who is sexually confident, emotionally secure, able to control the sexual context and the sex act itself, can protect herself from harm or knows how to avoid it from the outset, and is aware of her sexual needs and desires. This is a challenging set of characteristics to embody. Alternatively, within relationships young women feel safe, they can trust their partner, and can relax enough to explore their own sexuality. CLICK SLIDE better to find someone who can actually provide some commitment and security (R65)

CLICK SLIDE
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I would like to be in a committed relationship, so that I can explore my sexuality more with someone I trust. (R132)

This is an unfortunate outcome for young women who consider it their right to be as unencumbered with respect to their access to sexual partners as they perceive men to be: CLICK SLIDE While society claims it is empowering for women to engage in sex more in a way that she enjoys, there are still restrictions on what those ways can be. I.e. women are still meant to be a little bit innocent, and slightly prudish. For a woman to express a desire for a particular fetish or role or non-standard activity is much more likely to be seen as "wrong" than if a man does so. (R88)

These initial results are a small look at some of the motivations and pressures evidently facing young women today when engaging in our modern sexual culture. In terms of the international literature on much of this behaviour New Zealand young women appear to be tracking similar negative trends, whilst at the same time experiencing a number of positives. For me this research project indicates the potential for running a large nationwide study investigating the life course sexual experiences and opinions of New Zealand women, to better capture how all New Zealand women feel about the sexual environment they are in and how their sexual experiences inform their behaviour and creation of a sexual self.

CLICK SLIDE
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Thanks for your time.

FPC Paper 5 October 2010 Lesley A Wright