BANISHING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

By Avinoam Lerner

What is a Negative Thought?

Any thought associated with un-constructive or unpleasant emotional states (such as anger, anxiety, depression, futility, pessimism, etc.) How do negative thoughts feel in the body?

Characteristics

Automatic - they just pop into your head without any effort on your part. Distorted - they do not fit all of the facts. Unhelpful they stop you from getting what you want out of life. Plausible - you accept them as facts, and it does not occur to you to question them.

Categories of Negative Thoughts

Assuming Over Generalizing Shoulds Labeling It's all or nothing! Believing what you feel

Examples of Negative Thoughts

Im not good enough There must be something wrong with me I wish I were a better person Im a failure, Im worthless Im so disappointed in myself

Where Do They Come From?

They often arise when we are living with:

stress and anxiety Depression low self-esteem self-hate

The Conditioning Process:

Suggestions

Beliefs

Attitude

Behavior

Success Failure

Inner Critic VS Inner Ally

The inner-critic is the voice in your head, which constantly evaluate everything that you do while at the same time reminding you of your faults, failings and weaknesses. Whether this is a silent monolog or one you hear in your own voice, the voice of your parents, teachers and friends or even as a simple mental image, it has the power to wipe out your self-esteem.

Inner-Critic
Focus on a tiny part of an experience which is negative, use that as the memory Focus on what you did wrong Perfect memory of negative experiences Picks up sayings and ideas from the outside, never evaluates, and repeats Has no faith, no goals, sets up for failure Feeds you weakness Makes you think everyone is criticizing you and evaluating you constantly

Inner-Ally
Focus on overall experience, evaluate, find the good Focus on lessons learned, achievements Terrible memory of positive experiences Evaluates everything, allows the positive through and ignores most else Faith, trust in self, goals, looks ahead Feeds you strength Knows everyone is too busy listening to their inner-critic to focus on your faults

Banishing Negative Thoughts

Decide - to feel good, no secondary gains The Whole Picture - See things as they are Focus - Every dark cloud has a silver lining Self Talk - change what you say to yourself

A Wise Quote
Life is not about waiting for the storms to passits about learning how to dance in the rain.
~ Anonymous

5 Ways to Cut Down NT

1. First you have to perceive it. Listen to your inner voice (self-talk). If its negative, turn it around.

5 Ways to Cut Down NT

2. Replace the negative voice with a positive one.

Instead of that jerk cut in front of me, what an idiot! replace it with: He must really be in a hurry, maybe there is some personal emergency, Im glad I saw him and my reflexes are good.

5 Ways to Cut Down NT

3. Remove non-positive words or phrases from your vocabulary, such as I cant, or I hate, or Im pissed off.
Remember the old saying, if you cant say something good, dont say anything at all

5 Ways to Cut Down NT

4. Reward yourself! When you do something positive, reflect on the positive ways it made a difference.
Give Yourself permission to feel good about your actions.

5 Ways to Cut Down NT

5. Have someone to talk to who can uplift your spirit and inspire you. Choose your company wisely.
Yes, a support structure is very important.

Other Self-Help Techniques

Hypnotherapy Use self-hypnosis recordings Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP)

USEFUL BOOKS TO READ

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem : A Self-Help Guide using

Cognitive-BehaviouralTechniques by Melanie Fennell (Constable & Robinson, 1999)

Creating Self-Esteem : A Practical Guide to Realizing Your True

Worth by Lynda Field (Vermilion, 2001)

The Achilles Syndrome : Overcoming the Secret Fear of Failure by

Petruska Clarkson (Element Books Ltd., 1994) Cheri Huber (Keep It Simple Books, 2001)

There Is Nothing Wrong With You : Going Beyond Self-Hate by Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway : How to Turn Your Fear and

Indecision into confidence and Action By Susan Jeffers (Rider and Co., 1997)

Schedule Your FREE Consultation

Call: 617 - 564 - 0707 Email: Free@AvinoamLerner.com Visit: www.AvinoamLerner.com

Thank you, Avinoam Lerner