The Original Star Trek: A Geeks WTF?

Analysis of a Cult Favorite By Matt Butcher

Curt Danhauser cartoon from http://www.gordonwatts.com/StarTrek/ who got it from http://www.ridgecrest.ca.us/~curtdan/TREK/TAS.cgi?FILE=Larson

Prologue:

I found a most remarkable place online: CBS video now. It has all the Star Trek episodes of the original series and some other series, like Twin Peaks that I can't wait to watch online. So I thought I'd try to go through all of the original Star Trek episodes, kind of make sure I've watched them all and such. So I watched every single episode. During one summer. It was sort of like proof as to why I love the concept of Star Trek. However, there are some real WTF? moments throughout the show. Watching it in its entirety, you kind of understand why it was cancelled. It was a train wreck in a lot of spots. A lot of spots. But it does make the mold. It has some absolutely outstanding moments that make you sit through all of the bad crap. These are my brief analyses of each episode. Some episodes dont need a lot, some need more. Its all an investigation into one of the cornerstones of my personal universe. Matt Butcher Mjb0123.blogspot.com Summer 2007

The Man Trap According to the CBS site, "The Man Trap" was the first episode of season one, so I decided to go with it. (Its actually episode five, but for the rest of the time, I will go with the CBS numbering. It was the first episode telecast so I have no idea what these numbers mean. Nor should anybody care. This is not a continuity show. There are so many continuity gaps, it defies keeping proper order. So just go with the CBS numbering--Im sure they know something about it.) This episode is Classic Trek in that they beam down and a weird creature-mystery must be worked out. Decent episode. You have to put yourself in the 1960s sci-fi mode for all of these episodes. You cannot hold it up to modern standards. In that regard, it was a decent episode but seemed to drag. I thought I would keep track of the officer deaths too...you know, those barely-named, usually red-shirted ones that beam down with Kirk and the boys and seem to be the fodder for making the story more intense. This episode had no red-shirted ones, but three died, Darnell, Green, and Barnhart.

Charlie X I watched "Charlie X," billed as the second episode of season one. This is another of those "cerebral" episodes that Roddenberry was so fond of. A teenage castaway was given ultimate powers from some super alien race, a race that in all my Star Trek trivial knowledge I have never heard from again. The Thasians were never heard from again. (Ripe for a new novel, if you ask me.) He's basically a Q character, like the Squire of Gothos. It was good, but a bit long. This must have been the first episode with Kirk beating Spock in 3D chess. Charlie does manage to destroy an entire cargo vessel, the Antares, before Kirk knows anything. I was especially intrigued by Yeoman Janice Rand, played by Grace Lee Whitney. I wondered why her character didn't last--she was in a few episodes, but never became a regular. I looked her up on Startrek.com and she eventually becomes a communications officer under Captain Sulu.

Mudds Women

I skipped around a little, as to prove to myself not to worry about continuity, and watched episode six of season one, "Mudd's Women." Now this was an episode I had never seen before. "Mudd's Women" was boring. I can't believe they thought Mudd was charismatic enough to be the one recurring original series "antagonist" that they brought back into another episode later. This was a boring, pointless episode. I suppose one of the only things interesting about it is the fact that the characters don't all have to be in Starfleet. There is a universe out there that does not have to wear uniforms to go around in it. No one dies in this episode, no "red shirts."

"Operation--Annihilate!" Season one, episode 29 (remember, this numbering is from the CBS.com website I am watching them on) Kirk's brother Sam is dead. He's a research biologist whose planet of Deneva was on the route of some kind of space plague, like locusts. Kirk has a nephew named Peter Kirk. Amazingly, no one dies while Kirk is in command of the situation. Blah blah blahdedy blah. For an episode with such a cool title, it is rather mundane. Spock has an inner eyelid that is never heard from again. Sort of like Worfs second set of organs from that one TNG episode where he got hurt.

"The Conscience of the King" Season one, episode 13 Even though that title is a reference to Hamlet, the play produced at the beginning is Macbeth but we won't go there because they did mention that they would produce Hamlet for the Enterprise, but I digress. This was a great episode with a fantastic twist at the end. This was the episode that directly ties in with that book The Lost Years by Dillard that I read a few months ago. It has that Lt. Kevin Riley that was so prominent in the book, as he escaped the terror of Kodos on Tarsus IV. (Don't ask--it takes me longer to explain than just admitting I am a geek and getting on with it.) Kirk's friend Tom Layton dies but isn't his fault. Kirk must catch Kodos in the act, much like Hamlet. Great episode.

"The Return of the Archons" Season one, episode 21 Classic Trek. A dystopian society in which Kirk must go against the Prime Directive to battle what is right. Kirk says the Prime Directive "refers to a living, growing culture--do you think this one is?" Especially enlightening in that I just watched The Next Generation episode entitled "Justice" where Picard must violate the Prime Directive over what is right--remember Wesley falling into the flowerbed and being sentenced to death? In "The Return of the Archons" no one dies, the lieutenant that was absorbed by the machine comes back safe and sound after the final conflict. One puzzling aspect is that they never completely explained "the Red Hour" unless it was simply a release for the enslaved people of the planet.

"The Naked Time" Season one, episode 4 Another space virus. It's amazing how that is very often the answer to many Star Trek episodes--a space virus. It is hard sometimes to remember that this being one of the early episodes that they have to go through these space viruses. It is amazing how they mention undergoing "decontamination" after visiting a starbase where everybody died mysteriously, trying to find the cause. Wouldn't decontamination be standard procedure? It would be after the first one I ever encountered as a starship captain, whether I knew it was there or not! Anyway, this one has 3D chess, and 3D checkers too! Lt. Kevin Riley is featured again. One crewman dies, Joe Something, the idiot that took off his glove at the contaminated starbase and ended up infecting everybody. This episode also sees a crying Spock because of the virus. Also, this episode features what appears to me, the first formula for a time warp--is it the same one the crew use again in Star Trek IV to save the whales? This is also the direct precursor episode to The Next Generation season one episode "The Naked Now" in which Data and Tasha Yar get cozy with each other-somehow proving to people that Data was "fully functional." (Why anybody needed to know that is beyond me.)

I jumped around a bit and also watched Season 3 episode 9 "The Tholian Web" No deaths occur. Kirk is trapped in interphase in a space suit out in the middle of nowhere as the Enterprise is trapped in a Tholian net. Strange, but good. This is one where a novel would have been better to expose these Tholians as the viewer knows absolutely nothing about them.

"Wink of an Eye" Season 3, episode 11 Fantastic episode about hyperaccelerated aliens that try to take over Enterprise. (Although there are many plot failings, including the fact that if they are so fast, why it takes so long for them to do anything.) One red-shirted crewman, Compton, disappears and we find out that cell damage kills him. Hilariously, Kirk is hyperaccelerated and then has hyperaccelerated sex with the alien whose sole purpose is to seduce him. This is the crux of the issue with me, an episode where Kirk and the Enterprise should have easily been finished--if they had not hyperaccelerated Kirk, if they had simply waited until they had taken over the ship, there would have been nobody to interfere. This is, then, simply stupid aliens. I wish this concept could be revisited in one of the Star Trek novels by a decent writer. I think it would be neat to revisit this entire episode and take away some of the stupid mistakes that the aliens make and rewrite it.

"Journey to Babel" Season 2, episode 10 Featuring Spock's father Sarek, one of my favorite Trek characters. Fabulous episode with all sorts of Trek aliens that also introduces us to Spock's mother. You gotta love an episode with Andorians, those blue aliens, and especially fake Andorians with communicators in the antenna. No crew member dies.

"The Enemy Within" Season 1, episode 5 Complete with a dog with a horn as an alien species! This is the one where Kirk is split in a transporter accident into aggressive Kirk and benevolent Kirk. Did this episode ever mention why, when the transporter fails and Sulu and crew are marooned on the -100 degree freezing planet, that they couldn't use a shuttle to go and rescue them? Luckily, only the dog dies. PETA would be pissed.

"The Way to Eden" Season 3, episode 20 By far, the worst Star Trek episode ever. And I mean ever. Hippies sing and dance and take over the Enterprise in quite possibly the easiest ship takeover ever. This episode is sour simply for the singing and sit-ins, and Spock jamming with his space-harp thing, being one with the hippies, saying "I reach you." It would have been like Wesley Crusher wearing grunge clothes. Absolutely horrible episode. No wonder Star Trek was cancelled after three seasons with this crap. No deaths in this one except Dr. Severin who took over the Enterprise and died on the planet Eden after eating poison fruit. Was this episode a precursor to Star Trek V? I shudder.

"Where No Man Has Gone Before" Season 1, episode 3 Another one of those omnipotent-forces Trek episodes that Roddenberry enjoyed so much as one of the crewmen, a Lt. Cmdr. Gary Mitchell gets possessed by some kind of energy that turns him into a god-like creature. Interesting tidbits in this episode: the Enterprise tries to break the edge of the galaxy; early Spock where he must say, "irritating--one of your human emotions"; Spock talks about "one of [his] ancestors" marrying an Earth woman, not his mother, as Kirk defeats him at 3D chess; no opening credit dialogue, you know, the "Space--the final frontier" shpiel; there's no Doctor McCoy yet; the tombstone says "James R. Kirk" and not James T(iberius) Kirk. Spock reports casualties of 9 dead as they hit the galaxy's edge, so that's nine more to add to Kirk's total. The fascinating part of this episode is the fact that Kirk and Spock pretty much condemn Mitchell to exile and death by marooning him on a planet--a precursor to Kahn? I also see that Mitchell, with his powers, could easily come back to haunt Kirk, worthy of a novel if you ask me.

"What Are Little Girls Made Of?" Season 1, episode 7 Nurse Chapel's long lost fianc is found, amazingly right where he was supposed to be the whole time of his five-year absence. Two, count 'em two, red-shirted crewman die quite unimportantly in this episode, Rayburn and Matthews. One falls into a bottomless pit! Good episode with a neat twist. Also, definitely one of the episodes that lay the groundwork for The Next Generation to have Riker lead Away Teams and not the Captain himself.

"Balance of Terror" Season 1, episode 14. One of the best episodes ever. The first Romulan episode, with Mark Lenard playing the Romulan captain well before we see him playing Sarek, Spock's father, later. The chess game he plays with Kirk is fantastic, a definite inspiration for the starship battle in Wrath of Khan. The Romulan Star Empire is pictured on the map for the first time, and the first mention of the Romulan Neutral Zone. Ever wonder how they make a two-dimensional map of space? Makes me always remember that great line from Star Trek II when Spock says, "His pattern indicates...two-dimensional thinking." Kirk responds with, "Z minus ten thousand meters," referring to the Z-axis. Throughout the episode, the Enterprise takes "22 casualties" but we find out that only one man has died: Tomlinson, the would-be groom before the action. This is in the top ten best Star Trek episodes, throughout any of the incarnations of the franchise.

"Errand of Mercy" Season 1, episode 26. The episode that reveals the world of Organia. If you are a Star Trek fan, you constantly hear of the Organian Peace Treaty between the Federation and the Klingon Empire. These Organians are extremely powerful--what if they decided to extend their benevolence? Benevolence through force? Are they forgotten about through much of later Trek? I think it would be fun to pit the Organians against an entity like Q or Trelane. No one dies in this episode even though Spock says after the first attack that "casualties are light."

"I, Mudd" Season 2, episode 8. The return of the infamous Harry Mudd from the first season, the only returning antagonist of the original series. Heaven knows why. I guess the creators of the show could not have omnipotent enemies every week and decide to throw in a bit of levity every now and then. Several interesting aspects of this episode include an android named Mr. Norman who easily infiltrates and overtakes the Enterprise. Disgustingly easy. We find that this world of androids was created by a long-since-gone race from the Andromeda Galaxy. It was also an intriguing solution to defeating the androids. No one dies in this episode.

"Day of the Dove" Season 3, episode 7. You have to love the original series Klingons! Another malevolent space entity feeds on the emotions of hatred from the crew and Klingons. The entity can also transmute matter into swords. They said a lot of bigoted things in this episode but had the courage to combat the racial bigotry head on. "Intraship beaming" is only a theoretical possibility in this episode, but it works.

"Whom Gods Destroy" Season 3, episode 14. This episode features the Chinese grandfather from the beginning and ending of the movie Gremlins! (I only remember that because we watched it in our household very recently.) In this installment, there is a medicine, a drug, for the insane. A previous starship captain, Garth, who is now criminally insane, takes over the asylum and now tries to get aboard and take over the Enterprise. All that and the fact that he has somehow learned the trick of becoming a changeling, able to transform his body into the appearance of anybody else; oh yes, and he has a green lady alien as a sidekick. One interesting aspect to this whole mess is the code "Queen to Queen's level 3" that most be answered before beam up. Kirk won't give away the code, preventing the inmates from rampaging all over the ship. My concern is that since this is such a good idea, and also works so perfectly here, wouldn't this become standard practice all the time? Sometimes, my geekiness comes out and wants to know stupid stuff like this, when obviously it was just a plot device for this episode. But wouldn't there be all sorts of code words among Federation personnel? A rotating key word for danger? This is partly why I think the novel Dune by Frank Herbert is so interesting. Yes, it takes away from any direct action, but with the intricate hand signs and code words that the Atreides family use could never be called dumb. No one dies in this episode, unless you count the green alien girl who was blown up on the surface to intimidate Kirk--why would you blow up your own gangmember? remember, he is insane. And then everything at the end is all hunky-dory with drugs that miraculously remove the homicidal and criminal tendencies. Ta-da!

"Requiem for Methuselah" Season 3, episode 19. Yet another powerful antagonist, this one an immortal human being that lives in seclusion with fantastic technology (with the ability to shrink the Enterprise from orbit and have it transported to a tabletop). At the beginning, three crewmen have already died from Rigellian fever--I blame these deaths on Dr. McCoy (there's a cure out there and you don't have it on hand on the flagship of the fleet? What, was there no room?). So they have to go to a strange world where their sensors have picked up the apparently rare cure, unbeknownst to them the home of this immortal human now named Flint. One sticky wicket for me: if Flint is "shielded" from sensors and doesn't want to be found, why did he come out to greet the landing party in such a rude manner? Shouldn't he have just left them alone? Flint basically pimps Kirk out to bring out the emotions of his female android (yeah, you read that correctly). We find out that Flint was born back in 3834 BC. Before we find out the secret, I was musing about Flint's collection of rare books and priceless art masterpieces. I wondered, even if I could live forever, would I know enough to pick up and obtain masterpieces of art? No, I wouldn't, otherwise I would have hocked everything I had to buy some of those early Marvel comics when they were less than $1,000 when now they are worth tens of thousands. The basic concept of immortality intrigues me, like in Highlander. Interestingly, at the end of the episode, when Kirk is all weepy from losing his newest love, the girl android, Spock mind melds with him while he is asleep and says, "Forget."

"Dagger of the Mind" Season 1, episode 9. Another great Shakespeare reference for a title, from Macbeth. Another treatment for the criminally insane. Spock does a mind meld on the patient and he says he has never done it on a human before. I noticed that they only took the word of the doctor about "dismantling" and "destroying" the equipment of the machine. Imagine if, in the Star Trek world, this machine was improved upon. Ripe with story possibilities there. No crewman dies, although the female doctor who Kirk beams down with, for obvious romantic complications, manages to throw one person onto an electrical grid; and the "evil" doctor dies as well, with poetic justice.

"The Apple" Season 2, episode 5 This is a classic episode of red-shirted crewmen dying, being used as cannon fodder for the writer to show how dangerous the planet is. Handorf (?) dies from a plant shooting darts into him. Kaplan (?) is disintegrated by lightning. Marple (?) is brained to death. Mr. Mallory is blown up by the landmine rocks. Even Kirk says, "I could have prevented it all." Yet Chekhov still manages to try to get some lovin' off the short-skirted red-shirted female yeoman, even after people have been dying. This is a great Trek that even battles, a bit, philosophically with the Prime Directive. Kirk talks about his superiors coming down on him for violating the Prime Directive, "I'll take my chances." Part of me says they were dead wrong, part of me says they were right. Good episode.

"Wolf in the Fold" Season 2, episode 15. Space belly dancers! This is the one with Jack the Ripper as the malevolent space entity. Scotty has "fallen under suspicion" for three murders, even with the direct evidence of him being the only one hovering over the three dead bodies with the knife or blood in his hand. Direct correlation with the The Next Generation episode from season one called "Justice" where Wesley has to be saved from the planet in direct violation of the Prime Directive. Kirk says, "If they want to arrest him, try to, even convict him, I have to let them." The only really bad thing about this episode is the Psycho-tricorder that gives a detailed account of everything in a person's conscious or subconscious mind for the last 24 hours. This device, thank goodness, was never used again. Scotty "kills" Lt. Karen Tracy as one of the three victims, although Kirk couldn't know.

"Obsession" Season 2, episode 13. A vampire space-cloud! This episode is kind of like a role-reversal of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Kirk is obsessed with hunting down this strange cloud from his past that decimated the crew of his first deep space assignment, the USS Farragut. He will even withhold important medicines from a colony in order to hunt it down. Neat episode about guilt and recriminations. It opens with no less than three red-shirted crewmen, just waiting to die on the planet's surface. Two die immediately by the strange cloud that sucks red corpuscles from bodies, and another, Rizzo, will die later in sickbay. (One interesting note is that McCoy uses cordrazine, that intense drug that makes him crazy in the classic episode City on the Edge of Forever.) One Deus ex machina is that the new security officer is Ensign Garrivick, the son of the Captain of the Farragut, prompting Kirk even more guilt on this specific mission. They go down to the planet again, with four more obvious cannon fodder red-shirted crewmen. One more dies and one more placed in critical condition (his status is never updated). Later, when they chase the cloud through space, one more crewman dies and another is put into critical condition (again, no status update). So, if those critical conditions stabilized, I place the deathcount of red-shirted crewmen in this episode at 5. Good episode though.

"A Piece of the Action" Season 2, episode 17. One of the great episodes if you go into it with that tongue-in-cheek attitude. The Enterprise visits a world that was previously visited by the USS Horizon from a time before the Prime Directive. They inadvertantly left a book on Chicago gangs of the 1920s, published in 1992. Kirk must retain control. One of these reasons to slip into this episode in the right mindset is the amount of times Kirk and his men get captured. Starfleet, phasers and all, getting overtaken by bad mobsters with tommy guns. It's like they forget that their phasers can stun. I would love to see the obvious sequel to this, because McCoy forgets his communicator. The planet, because of their susceptibility to imitation, would then become like Starfleet. That could be a fun revisitation of a concept.

"The Deadly Years" Season 2, episode 12. The crew comes down with some kind of accelerated aging sickness after visiting a planet. This is one of those episodes that seem to just go through the motions, almost like they just come up with a concept and write up what would happen. This week the crew gets old, one week it was getting a virus that made them too happy to do their work, next week it could be getting young or reverse aging. It's almost like you don't have to watch. But they have to do these episodes. One woman does die from the excessive aging. And, just to add a touch of stress and danger, Commodore Stocker assumes command and takes them into the Romulan Neutral Zone. But everything is cured in the nick of time.

"The Doomsday Machine" Season 2, episode 6. We meet Matt Decker, captain of the Constellation, the father of Will Decker from Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Kirk is stuck on the Constellation and there is a pretty good pulling-rank battle with Spock and Decker. The "battle" with Decker makes Kirk's handling of Will Decker in The Motion Picture completely sensical now, as Kirk was always giving breaks to sons, other crew, like the kid in "Obsession" that reminded him of himself. Spock says, "Severe casualties on decks 3 and 4" with that unemotional air, but it was completely not Kirk's fault as Decker chased the machine. At one point, it is funny that a thing that can eat whole planets, whole solar systems, is troubled by an explosion of a shuttlecraft, and further extinguished by the 97-megaton explosion of the USS Constellation. So if this thing managed to get to the colony on Rigel, and there were any ships in orbit or on the surface (or a power plant), would the machine have died? And then, why does Kirk rig a thirty-second delay for detonation? Why not three minutes, or whatever? This is a great episode but when you subject it to the nitpicking geek logic, it gets screwy.

"Miri" Season 1, episode 8. Another Earth with the same continents and everything is discovered. A duplicate! The one rotten thing is that the story never explains why the planet was a duplicate of Earth, or even why the story called for that. It was like they wanted to do a time travel story of the future of Earth, but then switched it to another planet. This one, a really good episode actually, brought up a couple stupid geek questions. 1: How are three punches to the face better than being stunned by a phaser? The opponent died immediately thereafter. Whether he was attacking or not, how are physical punches to the face less damage than the phaser stun? 2: Kirk and the party contract the disease. This brings about the most obvious science fiction question asking if we have learned anything from H.G. Wells' The War of the Worlds, or learning from the Aztecs being decimated by disease from the New World. Let's just beam down anywhere and hope we don't contract anything. In the end, Kirk punches one opponent to death and "stuns" another one to death (only because of the sickness and being on the verge of death anyway), so I guess that kind of answers the question of stunning or punching, although I would still think stunning would be better. This is the precedent for the novel The Cry of the Onlies, which I am going to have to find and read now.

"A Taste of Armageddon" Season 1, episode 23. (Off topic, it is funny that the commercial on the CBS.com website for this one was for Benefiber, the clear "tasteless" fiber supplement--is it a coincidence?) This Star Trek installment has a strange but interesting logic about it. That's what makes a great episode, where you can honestly see the point on the other side of the argument, whether you agree with it or not. The planet had made war "neat and painless," as Kirk says. You can kind of see the strange logic if your culture was somehow stronger than individual lives. This is another episode where a code word would be efficient, and they have a voiceanalyzer in this episode--where that one goes in subsequent episodes, I don't know. Spock manages to do some kind of Vulcan mind-touch thing through a wall! Compare this episode to The Next Generation episode "Justice."

"Amok Time" Season 2, episode 1. The Spock mating ceremony installment. It's that Ponfar we see again in Star Trek III: The Search for Spock. You know, for a Vulcan who is known to be stoic in his demeanor, there are quite a few episodes that show his full range of emotions. This one has Spock racing to Vulcan in order to mate with his betrothed. Bones says, "He'll die, Jim," if you don't get him to Vulcan...to mate! It's amazing that the medical corps in Starfleet would not have 100% medical data on a race, one of whom is "the best first officer in the fleet." Spock does say it is for no offworlder to know about, but it's still funny--what if it happened during a real mission, or too far from Vulcan? Spock's betrothed, T'Pring, is also mentioned again later in that really good novel I read this year, The Lost Years by J.M. Dillard. Kirk must fight Spock with weapons that look like sharpened shovels with weights at the end. Bones gets to say "He's dead" over Kirk's body, amazingly having a neuroparalyzer, to simulate death, just on his person when he is supposed to be going to a wedding. The one cool element is how T'Pring plays Spock--she is one cold and calculating Vulcan bitch, that's for sure.

"Who Mourns for Adonais?" Season 2, episode 2. They meet the Greek god Apollo! That "What If?" aspect to this episode is cool, the possiblity of an advanced alien race coming to ancient Earth and being seen as gods is extremely intriguing. In a monotheistic aspect, showing the relation of religion to Star Trek in one sentence, Kirk says to Apollo, "Man has no need of gods--we find the one quite adequate." On another note, I was thinking during this episode that it would be kind of cool to have some Star Trek omnipotence battle. The Organians, Q, Trelane, the Talosians, these Greek gods, could all vie for power or something. The Enterprise could prevent it all. Might be worth a revisit in a Star Trek novel.

"The Menagerie-Part 1" and "The Menagerie-Part 2" Season 1, episodes 11 and 12 (and for some reason, here the CBS.com internal episode numbering doesn't work, as there was another episode 12 of season 1 on another page; however, "The Menagerie" being the only two-parter of the entire series could throw off the numbering system.) This one was written by Gene Roddenberry, apparently trying to incorporate all that footage from the original pilot episode called "The Cage," the one that was deemed "too cerebral" for television. Spock gets away with quite a lot of shit sometimes--hijacking the Enterprise to take previous captain Pike to Talos IV, faking orders and Kirk's voice, and assaulting Starbase personnel. We find that to visit Talos IV is the only death penalty left on the books. They basically just sit around and watch "The Cage" for the bulk of the story, during Spock's court-martial. Then all is hunky-dory as we find that due to Pike's "historic" importance, the ban is lifted this one time by Starfleet Command. Spock's disobedience is also negated. One thing bugs me: how did Spock get in touch with the Talosians and what did they really want with Pike? The Talosians appear to have no range barrier, so they could pop up again at any time.

"The Corbomite Maneuver" Season 1, episode 10.

This is a great early episode. Something is chasing the Enterprise to keep it from going about its mission. Amazingly Kirk wants to go around it and leave it alone but he can't. Mr. Bailey, a navigator before we ever encounter Chekhov, was a back-talking, yelling, scaredy-cat. And he is never seen again in Star Trek. Bones says Kirk must have "seen something in him" akin to Kirk eleven years ago, which is reminiscent of several characters in Trek episodes that Kirk likes to prod along. You just know that Bailey is going to blow up later in the episode, and you're right. Kirk's solution to the problem at hand is one of the best moves in all of Star Trek (and I think he has said it once before in a previously commented-upon episode, but for the life of me I can't remember which one now). Balok the alien says, "It was a pleasure testing you." Yet another super-entity with awesome technology that you wonder whatever happens to. Bailey ends up staying with Balok.

"Catspaw" Season 2, episode 7.

What is up with Chekhov's hair in this one?? Was that the style when this was made? My God. In this episode, some guy named Jackson dies within the first minute after being beamed up from the surface of the planet. Some Mr. DeSalle is commanding officer--a guy seen once before in "This Side of Paradise." The cat becomes a woman and does her voodoo on the Enterprise, dangling an Enterprise pendant over a candle and causing the temperature to rise in it. Then, the bad aliens encase the ship in a force field block with a snap of the fingers. What power! And Kirk simply destroys the device. Some of these super-entities with limitless power get kind of boring.

"The Changeling" Season 2, episode 3. An attack out of nowhere and we find out it comes from NOMAD, a probe said to be launched in the early 2000s. (I love references to space time that never come to be--Lost in Space's Jupiter II was launched in 1997, Buck Rogers was frozen in the 1990s, Khan was ruler in the late 1990s after World War III [I find it remarkable that Roddenberry deemed World War III inevitable], in 2001 we are taking shuttles to the moon, etc.--But I digress.) "You are the Kirk, the Creator," NOMAD says, in a remarkable coincidence of the plotline of Star Trek: The Motion Picture with V'Ger (Voyager). NOMAD's prime purpose has been mixed with an alien probe, just like the movie. Bones gets to say, "He's dead, Jim" over Scotty's body. NOMAD easily "repairs" Scotty. Two guards get killed by NOMAD and then two more. All four are vaporized so they can't be miraculously repaired--why wasn't Scotty vaporized?

"This Side of Paradise" Season 1, episode 24. They travel to Omicron Seti III, an agricultural colony that is supposed to be dead from something called Berthold rays. Then this episode becomes a space version of that segment in The Odyssey entitled "The Lotus-Eaters." The colony is staying alive and drugged by plant spores. Spock knows one of the colonists, a girl named Layla, apparently a previous love interest. Spock is overtaken by emotion after ingesting the spores of the flower. Everyone becomes infected, all 430 of the ship's complement. Kirk is the only one immune, and if he had become infected, it would have been all over. Fascinating debate on whether to take paradise or struggle. Kirk says,"Man stagnates if he has no ambition, no desire to be more than he is." Sandoval of the colony says, "We have what we need." Kirk replies, "Except the challenge!" Is it better to live in oblivious bliss if all your needs are met or struggle with independence? That DeSalle character is there. I only mention this because so few characters did repeats.

"For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky" Season 3, episode 8. The Enterprise encounters a spaceship made into the center of an asteroid. It's on a collision course in a year and a half with a Federation planet. When Chekhov gives the heading of the asteroid, in numbers, Spock immediately, without consulting the computer, calculates that it will hit the planet in 300+ days (he gives the exact number but I forget). I didn't know Spock had all of the orbits of every planet in relation to the ship memorized, even in his Vulcan brain. It's like they didn't want to take the extra seconds to show Spock consulting a computer. They beam down and are, of course!, captured by the inhabitants, who are oblivious to the fact that it is in fact a spaceship. McCoy diagnoses himself with some rare illness without a cure, giving himself a year to live. Kirk then pimps out Bones to make moves on the High Priestess of Yonada, whom he marries in this episode, so Kirk and Spock can scout the asteroid. We find the asteroid comes from the planet of the Fabrini, whose sun went supernova 10,000 years ago and destroyed the solar system. What I don't understand is how Spock is so well versed on a people, a written language, and a solar system of a world that was destroyed 10 millenia ago. Sometimes Spock is just way too much of a walking encyclopedia. And why has this asteroid been flying for 10,000 years and still not reached its destination? That would put this Fabrini way out of Federation territory, especially in Kirk's time. And another miracle, Spock finds the cure for McCoy's incurable disease in the Fabrini medical banks. McCoy and the High Priestess go their separate ways; however, Kirk says they can rendezvous in 390 days when the asteroid comes to the end of its journey. What happens to this woman?

"The Galileo Seven" Season 1, episode 16. This is one of those "Spock character" episodes. There is a Commissioner Ferris trying to get the Enterprise to rendezvous with another ship to get medicine for a plague to some colony. The rendezvous if five days away and it only takes three days to get there, so Kirk, in all his infinite wisdom, decides to play for a couple of days and send a scientific crew of seven to investigate a quasar. And, of course!, they get lost in space. There is, of course!, some kind of ion storm (a phrase that writers use to say, "OK, we need a plot complication that nobody can define! How about an ion storm!") that makes all the sensors on the Enterprise useless. So the shuttle crashes on type-M planet no less, and Spock is in command. You just love watching this one to see Kirk squirm, knowing he made a really stupid mistake. Mr. Boma, who we never see again in Star Trek, yells at Spock for his lack of emotion, driving home the Spock characterization of this episode. Mr. Latimer gets speared to death by the giant caveman-like indigenous inhabitants of the planet and Mr. Gaetano gets his phaser knocked from his hand by a thrown rock and then gets killed by the creature. (Yet it is amazing that all the other "thrown" spears look like they were thrown by wusses and wouldn't stick to the side of a barn.) Because of the lack of scanners on the Enterprise, Kirk launches another shuttlecraft, the Columbus, to investigate the planet. I guess he's not worried about losing another shuttle. At one point, Scotty says that in order to achieve orbit (he is with Spock on the planet in the downed shuttle), they'd have to lighten the load by 500 pounds. Spock says, "The weight of three grown men." Boma yells, "Who is to choose?" And I am sitting here wondering why they couldn't come back for a few men, but this was before the creatures were out there killing indiscriminately. Yet I am also wondering how ill-equipped a shuttlecraft must be. Wouldn't there be emergency supplies, phasers, force field generators, in case of accident? Another ensign of a search party, O'Neil, whom we do not ever see, is reported speared to death. How does a Starfleet landing party fall to cave-people with spears? Yet, surprisingly, this is an entertaining episode.

"Shore Leave" Season 1, episode 15. A strange episode, simply for the ramifications unto the Star Trek universe. An idyllic shore leave situation on a strange new world turns into a nightmare. Bones mentions Alice in Wonderland and then sees the rabbit and Alice in a rather goofy scene, even for Star Trek. We Trekkies can take badly costumed aliens, but throw in a white rabbit with a waistcoat and pocket watch shouting, "I'm late!" and we cringe. Kirk thinks about and then sees two people from his past, Finnegan and some girl named Ruth. (Another aside: How does Kirk manage to get another beautiful yeoman every other week? Why couldn't they stick around? Does Kirk engage in hanky-panky and the girls quit? Is that what happened to Yeoman Rand?) No matter how strange this episode seems, as I sat there, I just couldn't help thinking of what would have happened if someone started thinking about naughty things, like when Bones is snuggling up to Yeoman Barrows. Bones ends up getting lanced to death by a knight ("I'm dead, Jim!"--Ha ha!). Kirk shoots the knight. A crewman named Angela gets shot by a warplane--do we ever find out her fate?--but Bones comes back as we find out this is an amusement planet, like a Star Trek Fantasy Island, where what you imagine comes true. That was at the end and it threw me--a planet that can make any fantasy come true? There would be wars fought over this planet! Better than a holodeck!

Metamorphosis" Season 2, episode 9

In a shuttlecraft, cut short of their mission, Commissioner Headford is sick. She yells at McCoy about "the inefficiency of the medical branch of Starfleet." The funny part is that she is quite right in being pissed off because she didn't get an inoculation for a disease McCoy says is so rare that contracting it is "billions to one." How can you not be inoculated? What, were they trying to save--a few bucks? Then they are accosted by some "thing" again, some kind of ionized cloud that takes them off course and makes them land on an asteroid with a breathable atmosphere. Isn't it amazing how many bad things happen from "ionized" clouds or storms? On the surface of the asteroid they find none other than Zephram Cochran, discoverer of the space warp. He knew Spock was a Vulcan, making that sync with Star Trek: First Contact. The Companion, the ionized cloud, saved his life and rejuvenated him. Now it keeps him as a pet of sorts, or a lover. Bones says it is more like love. Kirk says that Cochran is from Alpha Centauri, so that is weird. Cochran wonders, "What's it like out there?" Kirk responds, "We're on a thousand planets and spreading out. It's estimated that there are millions of planets with intelligent life and we haven't begun to map them. Interested?" (On a side note, it is a thing like this that makes me sad for living in this technological infancy of the early 21st century.)

Cochran plays like Rip Van Winkle, "How'd you like to go to sleep for 150 years and wake up in a new world?" Cool concept. I truly like the theme of some of these episodes of being imprisoned against the will even if that imprisoned life seems perfect and well cared for. Compare this to the episode "This Side of Paradise." Cochran gets pissed when they talk of him and the Companion being lovers; he is just about revolted. Somehow though, when the Companion takes over the body of the Commissioner, well, that's just hunky-dory then! Still the Companion but now in a human body--plus, what about the ramifications of the Companion "taking" the Commissioner's body--isn't that like killing? How does Kirk write that off in his log? Did she die or not? If she did, it was McCoy's fault for not inoculating. There was a novel, Federation, that took on Cochran's life after this, actually in the time of The Next Generation.

The Squire of Gothos" Season 1, episode 17.

The first Q. Trelane, our antagonist, is even treated as a Q in one of the Star Trek novels, I remember. The ultimate in all of Star Trek's omnipotent antagonists. It's interesting that as he is watching Earth, he forgets about the time dilation effect and is watching Earth of 900 years ago, that's why he dresses like that, although, I don't see it as fully accurate because at one point they are using guns like those that "slew Alexander Hamilton." That would put the year at 2700, which is not when Star Trek is set. Trelane holds a "trial" just like the Q of The Next Generation, albeit not the kangaroo court of that series. Actually a cool episode, even with fighting another omnipotent antagonist. Wish he had come back. There is a great switch at the end with Trelane being a naughty little boy. Also, this is the third episode with crewman DeSalle that I know of. Also, there is yet another new pretty yeoman for Kirk--how the hell is this supposed to be a five-year mission if Kirk keeps getting pretty new yeomans? One dilemma: Did Starfleet ever try to enlist the aid of these super-entities when they were faced with dire circumstances, like the Borg in TNG?

"Mirror, Mirror" Season 2, episode 4. Great. Another ion magnetic storm. These storms pop up all over and they don't know a thing about them! A masterpiece episode--this is one of the ones you show a friend who has never seen Star Trek before to make them into a Trekkie. This is a perfect episode that has a strange transporter accident make a landing party switch places with their counterparts from a parallel universe. Even though Kirk does come up with the implausible answer a little quickly, that is simply a way to move the story along. And, the odds of the same four landing party members in both universes transporting at the same exact time in the same exact orbit of the same planet is extra-astronomical, it is still fun. Although, you do wonder what exactly happened with the talk about mining those dilithium crystals from the Halkans on that planet--that is never resolved. Also, the Tantalus Device is super-interesting, a device that can wink enemies out of existence.

"Space Seed" Season 1, episode 22. Khan. The prequel to Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Obviously, someone always wondered what the heck happened with Khan's exile after watching this episode. Khan and his followers are found in suspended animation after 200 years, fleeing from the Eugenics Wars of the 1990s and World War III on Earth (Gotta love that alternate history after the decade has really passed). The crewman Marla McGivers goes over to Khan's side rather easily--I wish she had more of a story. It's a little too easy for Khan to take over the ship. Shouldn't Kirk and Spock's command override everything, especially takeover when it doesn't come from the bridge? Doesn't Kirk's voice command have ultimate authority? And then the whole idea of not punishing Khan and McGivers with jail--rather, they put them on Ceti Alpha V to start a new world. How did that fly? No wonder somebody always wondered what happened to Khan because that has to be the strangest punishment in history, let alone Trek history.

"Tomorrow is Yesterday" Season 1, episode 19. Weirdest start to a Trek episode as it starts with a 20th century USAF jet plane. Makes you wonder if you have the right show or not. Then you see the Enterprise and all is right. They are on their way to Starbase 9 when a "black star with high gravitational attraction" causes them to be trapped. They break away like a rubber band, they say, and the whole Enterprise wind up back in the late 1960s. Then the fun begins, as it was like they were filming this episode as they went without writing a script. They beam the poor jet pilot aboard, Captain Christopher, then they talk about paradoxes with returning or not returning Christopher. I'm sorry, Kirk messed up by beaming that pilot aboard. Spock should have shouted that possibility at the very least. He never should have put the jet into the tractor beam in the first place. The Enterprise crew then decide they have to destroy the records of Captain Christopher--and they make it worse by beaming up a security guard! The Slingshot Effect that is used at the end to send the Enterprise home is used again in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. The thing about this whole episode I don't get is that the Enterprise crew beams the two 1960s Earthmen over their previous selves to fix the problems. The 1960s Earthmen forget everything. This is an odd episode that had me scratching my head.

"Spock's Brain" Season 3, episode 1. You know, for an episode cheesily entitled "Spock's Brain" it is a really good one. Aliens steal Spock's brain! Yet they leave his body...that's an oddity. Scotty talks about the ion propulsion of the alien ship being advanced. "They could teach us a thing or two." The alien, an unassuming beautiful woman, transports to the Enterprise and with the touch of a couple buttons on a device on her wrist, she completely incapacitates the entire crew, even those on other decks. More super-advanced technology that gets forgotten about in Trek-time. Then she steals Spock's brain! Kirk hunts down the aliens and finds an advanced civilization that apparently needs a strong brain to run the city. The inhabitants know nothing. The Builders of the place and their medical knowledge--who are they? Where did they come from? go? It's another one of those themes of whether or not paradise is having someone or something else do it all for you. McCoy then gets some super-knowledge and puts Spock's brain back in his head. The Federation could study and learn from that world--do they? I sometimes wonder what happens "after the episode."

"The Ultimate Computer" Season 2, episode 24. This is a really great episode that has Dr. Daystrom's M-5 computer being tested on the Enterprise. It has been designed to basically run a starship. Commodore Wesley tells Kirk he can "sit back and let the machine do the work." Prophetic words, indeed. Can a computer do everything a man can do? Kirk laments the fact that computers may make even him unessential, quoting that Masefield poem, "All I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by," and Trekkies remember Kirk quoting that in Star Trek V: The Final Frontier with Spock correcting Bones on who the quote comes from--McCoy misattributes it to Melville. The M-5 goes crazy, destroys a robotic ore freighter and even vaporizes one of Kirk's red-shirted ensigns as they start trying to turn it off. The M-5 then proceeds into the scheduled wargames but takes them seriously, attacking the four Federation ships. At one of Wesley's reports there are 53 dead on the Lexington and 12 dead on the Excalibur. The Excalibur's captain and first officer are reported dead. According to the StarTrek.com biography of Daystrom, "nearly 500 Starfleet personnel were killed." They still end up naming a research institute after him for all his previous achievements. Kirk "kills" the M-5 by a logic trap about murder and the death penalty for murder. It is mentioned twice that murder is contrary to the laws of God and man. Great episode, especially as you see Daystrom was really only wanting mankind to be better.

"The Enterprise Incident" Season 3, episode 2. Kirk takes the ship straight into Romulan territory, without authority. Bones says he has been acting loopy. The Enterprise is captured. Kirk is charged with espionage on the basis of Spock's testimony. SIDEBAR: I have to say, for the record, that if you are holding a gun on someone, you do not need to be within Kirk's kicking range! Spock says he has been a Starfleet officer for 18 years. When Kirk lunges at Spock, Spock says, "I instinctively used the Vulcan Death Grip." McCoy responds, "You're instincts are still good. The Captain is dead!" But we find out it was all subterfuge under direct Federation orders to obtain a cloaking device. Quite brilliant. The Vulcan Death Grip does not exist; he used a "nerve pinch to simulate death." Then Kirk gets made up to look like a Romulan, ears and all. Spock woos the female Romulan commander, although she is practically throwing herself at him the entire episode. She's a smart commander even though she let her emotions for Spock get in the way. A couple of minor plot situations to discuss: if the ships were all at battle-ready, wouldn't the shields have prevented the beaming of Captain Kirk in Romulan disguise aboard the Romulan ship? I guess they could have been down during negotiations but somehow I doubt it. Secondly, wouldnt a Romulan crew know all its own personnel? Especially know a Centurion leader that Kirk disguises himself as? I know everyone in my high school, especially people in charge. On a Romulan ship there are substantially less people than aboard a Federation ship. The Enterprise then speeds away when she was once "surrounded." How did she get away? And then why cant they get away any other time the ship is surrounded? Another thing, Spock contacts Kirk on the Romulan ship with a communicator and the Romulans pick up the signal, giving them away. Didn't they know that their signal would be picked up? If they did, they took a completely unnecessary risk. Also, the Romulans could have shot Spock at once instead of letting him filibuster away until he is beamed away--again through shields? The Romulan ships could have shot the Enterprise before the cloaking device was hooked in. For a great episode, it sure is filled with Star Trek internal logic holes. One more thing--what did they do with the two Romulan prisoners in the brig?

"The Alternative Factor" Season 1, episode 27. Existence and non-existence. Matter and anti-matter. Spock reports, "The entire magnetic field of this solar system simply blinked." Non-existence, a cosmic winking out. It occurs within every quadrant of the galaxy, it is said. Kirk and Spock beam down and meet some dude named Lazarus who explains that he is "chasing the devil's own spawn" that wiped out his entire universe. There is lots of fighting in a fuzzy blue screen, apparently to symbolize the alternate plane. When Lazarus is taken aboard the Enterprise they sure give the guy a lot of leeway for not knowing who he really is and Spock saying he is the center of all the disturbances. He has complete run of the ship, even a second time after assaulting two crewmen. To solve the issue, Kirk gets transported to the blue plane and crosses over into the anti-matter universe. He finds out it is the anti-Lazarus. Lazarus then gets stranded in the bridge between the universes, fighting the antiLazarus until the end of time.

"The Immuity Syndrome" Season 2, episode 18. The Enterprise battles a giant space amoeba! Spock "felt" the death of the 400 Vulcans on the Intrepid just like Obi-Wan Kenobi felt the deaths on the planet Alderaan. How often do they come across "something I've never seen." Answer: every episode. They have no idea what it is but they go in anyway, even knowing that the Intrepid was destroyed by it. They figure out a way to destroy it. Just another "Thing-in-space-wehave-to-destroy" episode. SIDEBAR: "Probe will hit in 7.3 seconds." It takes longer to say the "point 3" then the "point 3" lasts, doesn't it? Then it is said again: "contact in 18.3 seconds." I know they are trying to be anally scientific like when Spock computes ETA at something like 5.2 hours. But that's okay because "point 2" hours is appreciable time. "Point 3" seconds is not. You can't even see the "point 3" as it rolls by on the chrometer. SIDEBAR 2: Mr. Kyle was a helmsman in Sulu's place--how many episodes was Kyle in? I looked him up at StarTrek.com and it says later on "Twenty years later he was a commander and communications officer on the U.S.S. Reliant."

"The Omega Glory" Season 2, Episode 23. Okay, this one wins the Planet-of-the-Apes award for strangest ending. You'll see what I mean. The Enterprise comes to the planet Omega II and finds the USS Exeter already in orbit. The Exeter is empty. Only uniforms are left and the people have been turned into crystal powder. McCoy says the water was removed from their bodies. Contamination again! Some disease! Amazing how they have no procedures for this. So they beam to the planet and McCoy discovers a "natural immunization from the planet itself." Captain Ron Tracy of the Exeter is alive and well on the surface, apparently in charge and messing with the people, violating the Prime Directive. Tracy says, "None of us will ever leave this planet." Tracy shoots and kills red-shirted Lt. Galloway and takes over. McCoy finds that there is no disease on this planet and indigenous people like Wu are 462 years old and his father is over 1,000. McCoy discovers that Tracy was wrong--it appears that the planet has somehow counteracted the disease. If the people on the ship had stayed a little longer, they would still be alive. The planet is not the fountain of youth Tracy thinks. Bones says, "People live here longer because it's natural for them to." Now here is where it gets weird--we discover that the group Tracy leads is known as the Kohns and the rebels are the Yangs. Tracy kills thousands of the Yangs with his advanced phasers. We discover when the Yangs win, this apparent final outpost of the Kohns, that they are really "Yankees" and the Kohns are "Communists." Spock deduces that the war that Earth didn't fight between the Allies and the Communists was fought on this world. Imagine if the U.S. had stayed in Korea and fought the Communist Chinese. The Yankees have the American flag, and badly recite the Pledge of Allegiance, like my wife trying to pronounce French. Kirk knows the real words. He is then able to read to them the Preamble to the Constitution and go off on why it is so important. My concern with this hopeless episode is that another world developed exactly like Earth, right down to the wording of its documents? This episode would be much better as a different science fiction universe, where frozen astronauts like Planet of the Apes come back hundreds of years later to this development. It simply does not fit into Star Trek.

SIDEBARS: (1) Sulu is left in charge on the ship when every other episode leaves Scotty in charge. That's odd. (2) After one Vulcan neck pinch Kirk says, "A pity you can't teach me that." Spock replies, "I have tried, Captain." (3) Spock sends out some kind of telepathic demand to one of the Yangs to bring him his communicator and she does it. Does he ever exhibit this anywhere else? I have not seen it--although he does "mindmeld through jail walls" twice. (4) It is pretty cool when Kirk comments on the Preamble.

"Plato's Stepchildren" Season 3, Episode 10. There's some weird stuff that goes on in this episode. A distress call from an unknown planet where we find a race that can screen themselves from the Enterprise sensors. McCoy needs to heal the leader. We find from Kirk's log: "When their planet novaed millenia ago, they transported themselves to Earth during the time of Socrates and Plato. After the death of the Greek civilization they idolized, they came to this planet and created for themselves a utopia patterned after it." They are thousands of years old but if they get cut and infected, it could kill them. Apparently this hasn't happened in thousands of years. The aliens are psychokinetic. They are powerful enough to control the Enterprise up in orbit and prevent communications. They want to keep Bones as their doctor. They torture Kirk and Spock like puppets and make their dwarf helper, Alexander, ride Kirk like a horse. I'm not kidding. McCoy and Spock finally discover that the psychokinetic ability is in the planet's food. The substance is called Kironide and is developed in the pituitary, which is why Alexander doesn't exhibit the ability. Kirk, Spock, and Bones inject double the amount of Kironide into their system and wait for the effects to come out. Meanwhile, the aliens make Spock sing a bad song, make Spock and Nurse Chapel and Kirk and Uhura make out, then make Kirk whip Uhura. Kirk yells about how utopia has made them lazy, "You're half-dead...you have to torture us to make yourselves feel superior." Alas, the Kironide finally kicks in and the one psychokinetic struggle between Kirk and the alien leader has Alexander with a knife in the middle. Wait a minute--the episode constantly has things flying around, many at once, powerful enough to effect the Enterprise in orbit, and they are playing tug of war with Alexander and a knife at the throat of the leader? Why don't the 38 other aliens fight back? If this were a comic book or a novel, there would be a great telekinetic struggle. The medium here fails completely. Kirk "wins" and takes Alexander away, telling the alien leader that other starships will be coming so be good, or we will use Kironide again and get you. So, dammit, I want to know what happens next! Would this planet be treated like another Talos IV in "The Menagerie" with a completely hands-off approach? What happens to the aliens? Does Starfleet leave them alone? This race knows space travel-could they become part of the Federation? What the hell happens next?

"Return to Tomorrow" Season 2, Episode 20. A distress call brings them to an alien planet of telepaths, with prophetic words about all mankind perishing. Kirk's log will take three weeks to get to Starfleet at this distance. The powerful-enough alien named Sargon turned off the power of the entire Enterprise in order to communicate that Spock should beam down too, yet the alien talks other times. Dr. Ann Mulhall (played by the actress that plays Dr. Pulaski in The Next Generation) is an astrobiologist that comes along. Sargon keeps calling Kirk's crew "My children" saying that 6,000 centuries ago they were colonizing the area. His race could be the Adam and Eve. These aliens are now just thought, disincorporated from any body. Then Sargon takes over Kirk's body. They want to borrow the bodies in order to build robotic bodies. The crew agree to it! Spock says, "With their knowledge, mankind could leap ahead 10,000 years." They never even ask Starfleet about this. We find that the alien that takes over Spock's body is jealous of Sargon's love for the female alien. Spock sabotages the injection for Kirk's body (Sargon). Bones gets to say "He's dead" over Kirk's body. They start to feel that the human bodies would be much better than the robot bodies as they apparently want to feel (and I think that all the aliens want to "feel" Dr. Mulhall's body). They fight it all out, blah blah blah, and the aliens fight amongst themselves. Although, it does bring up an interesting point: if an alien race could take over the body of a Starfleet officer like this, what could prevent them from really wreaking havoc? If all three of these aliens had been malevolent instead of just the one, the Enterprise would have been easily and completely taken over. They should have lost this round. I guess it will make Kirk think twice about loaning out the bodies of his crew.

"The Empath" Season 3, Episode 12. What a horrible episode. Boring. A sun is about to go nova and Kirk, Spock, and McCoy are beamed away from their mission on the alien planet by alien tech. They are kidnapped by aliens with big heads and robes who look remarkably similar to the aliens on Talos IV in "The Menagerie." I guess they were bored in coming up with a new-looking alien. There is also an "empath" being there, mute but healing injuries with a touch. These aliens, the Vians, are testing the girl empath--according to Memory-alpha: "they explain to Kirk, Spock, and the dying McCoy that they have been part of an experiment. They have the power to save one species from the impending nova, and so they wished to test whether Gem's species is worthy of being saved. Apparently the Vians want to be certain that she has learned the principles of self-sacrifice, the will to survive, the passion to know, and the love of life from her contact with the Humans. These qualities, they say, make a civilization worthy to survive." I guess the whole thing is about the value of a species being its emotions, like compassion and self-sacrifice. But then the episode just ends--what the heck happened? Did the Vians survive? Did the empath's race survive? Where did they go? Does Starfleet do anything about this? The whole time I was watching this episode, I was bored. I wanted to shut it off at the halfway-point.

"Elaan of Troyius" Season 3, Episode 13. A top secret diplomatic mission, bringing two strange races together. The "queen" Elaan is a super-bitch and is to be brought to the other planet into a political marriage. It becomes Kirk's job to "tame" her. She actually stabs the Troyan abassador! There's a Klingon ship following them. Elaan's tears are said to be some kind of super love potion that ensnares men. And of course she ensnares Kirk. One of Elaan's guards, Kryton, ends up being a Klingon spy and sabotages the Enterprise. I was watching, thinking to myself how the hell does this guy have the run of engineering, able to get to and disable the warp drive and dilithium crystal. He snaps the neck of Watson, a red-shirted engineer. Kryton is soon phasered to death by a security guard--ahhhhh, why the hell weren't phasers set on stun there?? The Klingon ship attacks. I understand why there is no phaser power but are the photon torpedoes powered by the crystal? It would seem not when Kirk orders Chekhov to prepare the torpedoes before Scotty engages the new crystals. Oh, yes of course, the necklace that Elaan is wearing is conveniently made of dilithium crystals! That's why the Klingons are involved anyway. At the end, there is actually a great space battle, with Kirk ordering some neat little maneuvers--it is not just one blast. Now, at the end here, Kirk gives up Elaan to her new political marriage. And I am sitting here wondering why nobody seems to be too worried that Kryton was a Klingon agent in the first place!!

"The Lights of Zetar" Season 3, Episode 18. I can see how Star Trek starting losing it during the third season. Sometimes, you can tell that the writing was just disinterested. That's because this episode was written by none other than Shari "Lambchop" Lewis and her husband. Not kidding. She even wanted to be cast as the lead, Lt. Mira Romaine, but thank goodness they didn't. The Enterprise is en route to the total and complete library at Memory Alpha, sort of like a Star Trek Library at Alexandria, and is the inspiration for the cool Star Trek wiki site Memory-Alpha.org. Scotty falls in love with Mira, and even after the events of this episode is never seen or heard from again (except a novel that is a sequel called Memory Prime by good Star Trek writers, Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens--I haven't read that one yet). On the way, the Enterprise is attacked by some kind of unnatural light storm--hey, they don't have a better name for it either. The lights take over the body of Mira. The lights go on to destroy Memory Alpha, all the people and the records. Spock says, "The loss to the galaxy may be irretrievable...a disaster for the galaxy." Spock figures out that the lights are alive. When the Enterprise shoots at the lights, Mira gets hurt. The Enterprise crew boringly sit around a conference table to compare Mira's Starfleet record to what they know about the lights. Her brainwave pattern has changed to that of the lights. The pacing is agonizingly slow here. The lights come aboard and further merge with Mira. The lights say they have searched for millennia for one to speak through. They are the remaining life force of a dead race, the Zetar. They are stealing her body. The crew put her in a pressure chamber of some kind that remove and kill the lights because they had become used to the vacuum of space. They die--ah, is this killing? Is it genocide then? I know it appeared to be her or the alien life force but does Kirk now have genocide under his belt? Then, that's it. The episode ends, with a little character tidbit of Kirk saying something "funny" like this being the only time Spock, McCoy, and Scotty all agree on something. Ha ha. Now give me my fifty minutes back for watching this horrible episode.

"The Paradise Syndrome" Season 3, Episode 3. I think that if I had been watching Star Trek as it was first running, this episode would have made me turn it off and never turn it back on. This is sort of like my feelings towards the killing of another of my favorites, the UPN TV series Seven Days and its third season premiere episode was so stinking bad that I never watched it again. I think this episode would have done it for me. Kirk, Spock, and McCoy beam down to an idyllic little planet similar to Earth. An asteroid is due to hit the planet in two months and they have been ordered to divert it. (Now, that is the part I don't understand--1) isn't it the part of Starfleet not to interfere-imagine if someone had diverted the asteroid on Earth 65 million years ago?? and 2) if they were going to divert the asteroid anyway, why did they go check out the planet first???) The lifeforms of the planet are so basically like Native American Indians that we might as well call them that. Although, there is a strange obelisk on the planet that Kirk falls into unwillingly and gets knocked out, losing his memory. Meanwhile, Spock and McCoy have to get back to the Enterprise to rendezvous with the asteroid while there is a better chance of deflecting it way out in space. SIDEBAR: The Enterprise is said to be using maximum warp speed for several hours to reach the rendezvous point. That seems like the writers didn't do a lot of real calculation. Remember, the asteroid is two months away from hitting the planet. Anyway, Kirk comes out of the obelisk and is sort of seen as a god, especially when he saves a drowning boy with CPR, seeming to breathe life into the kid. Kirk unwittingly then usurps the medicine man role, making an enemy who he will fight later. Kirk marries the priestess-girl now. Yep, gets married. Is it really a marriage if it is under amnesia?? Wow, now that's a debate! Meanwhile, the Enterprise looks like it is attacking the asteroid head on and losing. It drains most of its power and has to limp back to the planet for a two-month journey with the asteroid right on its ass. Ah, Scotty, what the hell? Two months isn't enough time? Two months. Spock though learns about the markings on the obelisk, saying it came from a race known as The Preservers who have seeded the galaxy. Bones notes how he always wondered why there were so many humanoids in the galaxy. This gets brought up again in a Next Generation episode entitled "The Chase."

So Kirk has been busy back on the planet--the wife is now pregnant. Kirk is the medicine man and when the asteroid apparently starts causing massive winds on the planet (I know, ridiculous), he must be the one to turn on the obelisk and save them. But he doesn't know how. They stone him and his wife. Bones and Spock beam down just in time to stop the stoning, although the wife dies, and deflect the asteroid using the obelisk. Spock cures Kirk's amnesia with a mind meld. What a stupid episode. The biggest question is barely addressed--The Preservers. "Seeding" the galaxy? That is like huge news, archaeologically, metaphysically, religiously, etc. How can you just glance over that?

"Arena" Season 1, episode 18. This is one of my favorite Star Treks, one I especially remember as a kid. It is inspired by a story from SF great Fredric Brown. I love the one-on-one fight and how Kirk wins by being smarter and making gunpowder. O'Herlihy, a red-shirt, is vaporized quickly during a barrage and Kelowitz and Lang die off screen. It's like a future mortar battle, although I am wondering why you wouldn't beam the bombs to the camp? Can the only get through by mortar fire? Kirk almost gets blown up twice but rolls into a communicator conversation with Sulu. The enemy lock onto Spock's tricorder signal and detonate it. "They've fed back my own impulses and built up an overload!" They eventually pursue the aliens who have blown up this settlement on Cestus III into space. Both ships are scanned by an unknown solar system (How can a neighboring solar system to an outpost be unknown?). Kirk is ready to annihilate the enemy ship, without even knowing who they are. Then we find another race of super beings in control. The Metrons. They have stopped the ships with "an unidentifiable power" and choose to "resolve your conflict in the way most suited to your limited mentalities." They have "prepared a planet with a breathable atmosphere." Then Kirk is gone, whisked away to the planet with the leader of the other ship, a Gorn, a lizard-like alien who looks like a refugee from a Barney show. The Gorn stalks Kirk like Pepe Le Pew. We find that the Gorn were attacking the outpost because they saw it as a sign of aggression against their space--apparently Starfleet didn't look into this further before establishing an outpost there. Kirk beats him with gun powder but refuses to kill him. The Metrons let them all live because mankind has shown great compassion. They are then, in the blink of an eye transported five hundred parsecs (roughly 1610 light years) away from its previous location. Now, I found out that the original script was a bit different. From http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Arena and http://www.fastcopyinc.com/orionpress/articles/arena.htm :

The only major plot point excised from the aired version reveals the Metrons' true
original intentions. METRON: I am afraid we perpetrated a hoax on you. KIRK: What hoax?

METRON: We said that the ship of the loser of this personal combat would be destroyed. That is not quite accurate. It is the winner... the stronger, the more resourceful...who would pose the greatest threat to us. We planned to destroy the vessel of the winner. Your ship, Captain. KIRK (dangerously): Not my ship. METRON: No, captain. We have changed our mind. The rest of the Metron's dialogue explaining how they were impressed with Kirk's sparing of the Gorn's life is as aired.

There is a DS9 episode that talks again about the Gorn and an Enterprise episode that mentions them. Then the Metrons, a super-race, is never mentioned again either until a DS9 episode, either. To be honest, that brief Metron mention may have been accidental--it isn't like it is a hard sci-fi name to come up. There are plenty of METRONS in sci-fi.

"The Cloud Minders" Season 3, Episode 21. They're out to rescue a planet with a cure for a plague. They need to get a substance called zenite from a planet called Merak II and bring it to the planet Ardana. However, they run into difficlty when they come between the apartheid policies of the "upper class" living in the cloud city of Stratos and the "working class" living in the mines--a quite succinct literal interpretation of "upper" and "lower" class. It is interesting how the beautiful "upper class" woman that Spock tries to woo shows her bitter social hatred, proving that beauty is more than skin deep. I would have liked to have seen Spock chastise her for it, or at least somehow address it. He does leave her completely alone after he sees this, but I wish it had been confronted. Also, is Kirk violating the Prime Directive when he tries to help the working class? He basically frees them. While personally I applaud his actions, isn't this supreme interference in the culture on the planet? Is he the catalyst for change or does he press it? Wouldn't he be idolized for this? I mean, look how we rightfully idolize Rosa Parks and MLK--would there be Kirk Day on this planet for his liberation of the working class? Kirk is supposed to be held by the Prime Directive. However, this is a good little episode; it just feels a bit cramped in a 50-minute TV show format. This may actually have made a much better novel than what appears on the screen. Theme is good though.

"Patterns of Force" Season 2, Episode 21. The Enterprise is sent to the planet Ekos to investigate the disappearance of Federation historian John Gill. He studies history by "causes and motivations" and not "dates and events." This episode completely shows the danger of violating the Prime Directive. Bones injects "subcutaneous transponders" in the event they lose their communicators. What the hell!? Where did this great invention go!? John Gill has imposed himself as the Fuhrer of a Nazi regime he has created on this planet. Spock says to Kirk after they steal uniforms, "You should make a very convincing Nazi." Spock and Kirk take out their transponders to create a crude lock-picking laser. While the premise seemed cool, I think the episode quickly degenerated. Instead of just beaming McCoy down in a Nazi doctor's uniform, why didn't they beam down like 200 guys with phasers and set on stun? The planet has already been contaminated against the Prime Directive. Then they are in a room alone with John Gill, the guy they came to get--just beam him up already! Because they don't, it does lead to his getting shot. Even though he was used by the Melakon guy, Gill still started the whole Nazi thing in the first place, thinking it would somehow help to bring the planet together. I guess he never really learned from history. This truly violated the Prime Directive, especially someone who was just supposed to be a "cultural observer." This episode truly highlights how far ahead the idea of the Prime Directive was, and indeed still is. What I want to know: what happens next on the planet?

"The Devil in the Dark" Season 1, Episode 25. There's a monster on the loose at a remote mining planet colony. This one is sort of like a Horror Trek episode, and would also make a good Dr. Who. One red-shirt dies by the monster. Spock mentions the probability that the creature is the last of its kind and that killing it "would be a crime against science." Yet they both see that killing it is the only option--at first. Spock mind melds with the creature and they come up with a solution. This is a great episode with a good lesson. Understanding others not like us and not invading others' space. Who exactly is the "devil in the dark"?

"The Mark of Gideon" Season 3, Episode 16. Kirk is abducted, sent to what appears to be an empty Enterprise. (Lots of negative talk about "diplomats and bureaucrats" in this episode.) Altogether, it's an interesting puzzle you have to find the answer to. Kirk has been abducted to infect the Gideon population with diseases in order to fix the overpopulation problem. (Ahh, couldn't they just get some virus samples?) There's a real contradiction here from the aliens about loving life by not preventing conception yet being able to kill people to fight overpopulation, and it doesn't make any sense. They want to change their life cycle, from long perfection to a shorter duration. This reminds me of that one Next Generation episode with the Bynars where they stole the Enterprise-D without asking because they "may have said 'No.'" In all honesty, the creators skirted all the real issues that they brought up in this episode. It would make an interesting full-length novel. Couldn't they use the Gideons at colonies throughout the universe? I'm sure some would like to go if the world was that full, literally standing-room only.

"That Which Survives" Season 3, Episode 17. Something instantly hurls the Enterprise 990.7 light years away, stranding the landing party. Kirk, Bones, Sulu, and a geologist named D'Amato get stranded on a mystery world. The transporter officer is killed by a strange woman, who then also kills D'Amato on the surface of the planet. Then the strange woman is on the Enterprise again, one thousand light years away. She kills an engineer named Watkins. Then she is back on the planet--the tech, or magic, or whatever to instantly transport a thousand light years? Wow. The landing party discover that it is an outpost for a long dead alien race. It's almost exactly like that one Next Generation episode "The Last Outpost." Indeed, that TNG episode seems to be a sort of remake. Speeds of warp 11.9, 13.2, and 14.1 are mentioned. It is a completely forgettable episode.

"And the Children Shall Lead" Season 3, Episode 4. Kirk and company investigate what's left of a scientific party on the planet Triakis. All the adults are dead from an apparent mass suicide. The kids just keep playing, immune to any kind of grief. As the crew tries to figure out the mystery, the kids on board try to take over the ship. See, the kids brought aboard some kind of ghost-alien that wants the Enterprise to take them to another planet. The ghost-alien has given the kids remarkable thought-powers. They are able to make the crew change the ship's direction and see things that aren't there, like the planet when they leave orbit. Sulu sees a wacky "tunnel of daggers" in space. Kirk and Spock and the deluded transporter operator beam two red-shirted crewmen into space, killing them. Kirk posts a 24-hour guard on the kids really early in this show, actually exhibiting good foresight for once. The kids make everyone else see things except Kirk as he tries to fix things. Then they finally get Kirk. Spock comes out of his trance in the nick of time to save Kirk. While you are watching this one, you can't help but wonder why doesn't Spock neck pinch all the kids, or Kirk stun them? Kirk breaks the spell over the kids by showing them video of playing with their families. Somehow, the ghost-alien just fades away.

"Turnabout Intruder" Season 3, Episode 24. This episode was the finale of The Original Series, and what a horrible way to go out. We get to see Kirk prance around like a woman. The Enterprise is sent to rescue archaeologists studying the ruins of a dead civilization on Camus II. One of the scientists is Dr. Janice Lester, a woman from Kirk's past and a one-year love of his. "Your world of starship captains doesn't admit women," she says. And that is why she hates Kirk now, with a passion to rival the wrath of Khan. Apparently, it's a setup because with the help of those ruins, she switches bodies with Kirk. Lester in Kirk's body says, "It's better to be dead than to live alone in the body of a woman." But she is interrupted from strangling Kirk in Lester's body. She says she has studied for years to take over command of a starship. It's funny to watch Kirk put an Emory board to his fingernails! I don't know if they are making fun of the idea of a woman as captain or not. With the doubts of Spock and McCoy, because Lester is being freaky (had she been normal, this would have worked), this is another cause for a code-word known only by upper echelon of the ship. I have a code-word with my daughter Morgan, for pity's sake. Bones has some kind of test, dermal optic, to "reveal the basic emotional structure" in order to compare with a previous reading. The first security guard that Spock tries to take out has his first Vulcan neck pinch blocked! The number one crazy stupid thing about this episode is that if Lester hadn't been so % $#%^ crazy, she'd probably have gotten away with it. SIDEBAR: It is said in this episode that General Order 4 is the only exception for dishing out the death penalty. This contradicts General Order 7 regarding Talos IV in "The Menagerie" but this must be like the concept of Stardate, never intended to be so serious.

"A Private Little War" Season 2, Episode 19. Kirk says the planet they are on is the first planet Kirk ever did a planet survey on thirteen years ago. Starfleet says "NO INTERFERENCE" on this planet based on that survey.

Spock is shot by an old flint-lock rifle. Bones says, "It's lucky his heart is where his liver should be or he'd be dead already." The Klingons who have no such Prime Directive, help one group on the planet to create arms in order to disrupt the balance of power. There are a couple of inferences to Klingons breaking the treaty without mentioning the term "Organian." We learn of the medical necessity of Vulcan-slapping to help them regain consciousness. Bones and Kirk debate over Kirk's decision to give the other hill people guns in order "to equalize" the balance of power. Kirk gets seduced by the witch doctor woman by some kind of plant fragrance. She's conniving; she only wants his phaser. She hits Kirk over the head with a rock and takes the phaser to the other side, then appears to get gang-raped. She is knifed to death by the rapists when they are trapped by Kirk and the hill people. What I really want to know is what happened on this planet. Kirk requests 100 flint-locks be replicated, an order questioned by Scotty, then they just ask to be beamed up. What happened with the Klingons? With the whole planet? Was the Prime Directive violated? What did Starfleet do? On a larger scale for Star Trek: Could and would the Klingons and Romulans interfere with other "hands off" planets in order to gain more power and control? Think about it--if Starfleet cant interfere then what is to stop other alien races from interfering and taking over countless planets? The Romulans could have hundreds of planets with unlimited resources. If the Romulans swooped in after Starfleet, they would have anything they wanted. They dont have a code of ethics like the Prime Directive.

"Court Martial" Season 1, Episode 20. As it opens, the Enterprise has been through a "severe ion storm" in which one crewman, Lt. Cmdr. Finney, dies while out in a pod taking readings. They put in to a Starbase for repairs and for filling out a report on Finney's death. Kirk "had to jettison" the pod during the storm. Kirk and Finney had served together on the Republic. Kirk solved a negligent problem of Finney's and Finney has hated him ever since. Kirk's actions are under examination, and his lawyer is Samuel T. Cogley. This guy made this episode. He has to be one of the simply coolest secondary characters that has ever been on Star Trek. The prosecutor is an old lover of Kirk's, Lt. Shaw. One strange thing that seems to be the crux of the argument--Kirk presses the yellow and red alert buttons on his command chair? Only in this episode. After watching all 80 episodes, I never saw him turn the alerts on--someone else always did after his order. I also think it is extremely strange that he would be the one pressing the button to jettison the pod. Someone laments to Spock, "You may be able to beat your next captain at chess." That gives Spock the idea that the computers have been messed with. Then the final solution is another one of those once-in-a-lifetime tech fixes that solves this problem but is never seen again, even though it would come in handy in later episodes. The crew tunes into the heartbeats of those on board the Enterprise, removing beats one by one until they surmise that Finney is still alive and on board the ship. Kirk of course has to fight Finney barehanded for a climax. There could be an awesome sequel to this: The Wrath of Finney. It's a good episode, all in all.

"All Our Yesterdays" Season 3, Episode 23. I know that this episode is the basis for two Star Trek novel sequels that I read way back in high school. Yesterday's Son and Time for Yesterday written by A.C. Crispin. The first one has the honor of being the first Star Trek novel to hit the New York Times Bestseller list. The star Beta Niobe is about to go nova. They are checking out a power source on a planet where the people have all disappeared. It is the library. The Librarian, Mr. Atoz (get it--Atoz? A to Z?), is taking care of the Records Room. All the people escaped into past eras of the planet's history. Kirk is transported to some Three Musketeer-type era.

Spock and McCoy get transported to a frozen wasteland in the planet's ice age. Spock and McCoy find shelter thanks to a girl. She knows about the time portal. I know according to the sequel novels that Spock fathers a son, Zar, with this woman, Zarabeth. Zarabeth was imprisoned in this ice age for fighting against a tyrant, she says. Kirk manages to walk back through the portal eventually, but three hours have passed in both time periods. Time moved for Kirk there as well as here. Spock starts to become emotional, the weirdest thing about this episode, and Bones surmises that Spock is reverting to his barbarian ancestry because in this timeline of five thousand years ago, Vulcan is savage and barbaric--somehow Spock's present mental condition and control is based on what is happening on Vulcan right now? Is his control then somehow tied to the planet? They escape before the star goes nova.

"Friday's Child" Season 2, Episode 32 (even though there is no season 2, episodes 26-31--CBS.com numbered them wrong or something). The Enterprise goes looking for a mining treaty on a tribal planet that they are quite afraid of. They beam down, the classic three--Kirk, Spock, and McCoy--plus one red-shirt who gets a dagger in the chest for pulling a phaser on a Klingon, all before the opening credits. It's a very strange tribal structure that is warrior-based. This is sort of the same plot and theme as "A Private Little War." Bones slaps the pregnant woman, the "Queen," after getting slapped twice himself by her. Kirk and Spock, with their communicators, produce some kind of sound vibration that starts a very explosive landslide. Bet you didn't know they could do that! Then, when Kirk and company are being chased by the tribesmen and the Klingon, one of the tribesmen says they are behind the rocks. When the Queen escapes and comes down (after giving birth and leaving the baby, mind you), she says she killed Kirk and company as they slept and they turn to leave on her word--after just seeing them behind the flipping rocks. It's kind of a boring episode but it has some good character moments.

"Bread and Circuses" Season 2, Episode 25. The SS Beagle is destroyed, just debris in space. Kirk knows Captain Merrick from the Academy. The wreck leads them to a pre-atomic world but with their sports as gladiator fights. It is twentieth-century Rome. Kirk discovers that the barbarian in the fight is Flight Officer William B. Harrison. The crew of the Beagle has violated the Prime Directive. Kirk gets captured again! Isn't it amazing how many sci-fi shows have our heroes captured in order to learn the lay of the land? Kirk mentions Hodgkins' Law of Parallel Planet Development. There's a great scare when their little party is behind a group of trees and gets shot at by machine guns. It's a great idea to imagine the Roman Empire lasting until the twentieth-century, with guns and cars. The bad guy proconsul, a native of the planet, uses the Prime Directive against Kirk quite well, knowing they can't just phaser their way through the world. And there's a code-term! "Condition Green" means they are in trouble but no interference is to be taken from the Enterprise. Finally, a code-term so the ship isn't overrun or something. We find the rebels are devoted to Son worship, not Sun worship. Kirk says, "The word of Christ is spreading now...Wouldn't it be something to watch...to see it happen all over again." After the episode is over, again you are wondering what happens next. There is apparently a sequel novel set in The Next Generation universe that I have to find now called The Captain's Honor.

"The Savage Curtain" Season 3, Episode 22. Another super-entity! This one is Abraham Lincoln in space! Literally, he is Lincoln, sitting in a chair in space. "I am Abraham Lincoln." WTF? And Gene Roddenberry wrote this one. Can you trust Honest Abe? Kirk and Spock beam down and the aliens somehow prevented the beaming of their phasers and tricorders. They also deprive the Enterprise of almost all its power. Spock meets the great Surak of Vulcan on the surface. We find that they have been brought here by powerful rock-beings! Genghis Khan, Colonel Green (who led some genocide war on Earth), Zora (some evil alien scientist), and Kahless the Unforgettable (a terrible Klingon) are all on the surface of the planet too. And it's all set up as some kind of battle to watch and test them. The whole episode reminds me of a child's toy box, mine especially--different toy lines have been merged to make a cohesive story. I remember playing with Indiana Jones (from Temple of Doom, wish I still had that figure) and an Ewok that teamed up in an alternate dimension just so they could have adventures with or against my other toys. Spock in hand-to-hand combat is losing to Genghis Khan when Kirk has to come and save him. Kirk beats Kahless and Green in hand-to-hand. Then the rock-alien basically shrugs and says he will try to understand these concepts of "good and evil." They were still able to control matter and create things easily, like these historical figures. What happens next? Does Starfleet send a follow-up mission, like damage control? Would they quarantine the planet like Talos IV in "The Menagerie"?

"The Gamesters of Triskelion" Season 2, Episode 16. Kirk, Uhura, and Chekhov are abducted and used to fight aliens so some disembodied, all-powerful aliens can watch and bet on them. They are The Providers.

They're all-powerful because they have whisked Kirk and company far away from the planet that the Enterprise was orbiting, Gamma II. Scotty eventually says the planet they want to search is two dozen light years away. Kirk on the new planet says, "If we're even in the same dimension." Uhura seems to be getting raped by her drill thrall guard but it becomes only an attempt as the guard is disgusted, saying, "You're not allowed to refuse selection." Back on the ship, Bones and Spock are searching. Some good dialogue as Bones says the search may be leading in "a wild goose chase." Spock replies, "I am chasing Captain Kirk, not some aquatic fowl." This episode has always been one of my favorites. I guess I really like the sci-figladiator/stuck-in-an-arena story. It helps to show why freedom is important. When the Enterprise finds the planet, The Providers completely disable the Enterprise, apparently mentally. Kirk wages freedom with the lives on the Enterprise by fighting a match, three-on-one. He wins! This now becomes another episode where I want to know what happens next on this planet. Would Starfleet quarantine this too? Could they make friends with The Providers? Could they learn from them, especially "beaming" distances of dozens of light years?

"Spectre of the Gun" Season 3, Episode 6. You know, I didn't take many notes on this one. Other than the basic plot of the crew being whisked away to be tested by the Melkots, making them relive the Gunfight at the OK Corral on the Clanton side, there's really not much to tell. It's a neat little episode, but...again, this could come from any number of science fiction shows. Replace Kirk and crew with anyone.

"The Trouble with Tribbles" Season 2, Episode 14. The fan favorite. Supposedly. It's never been my favorite episode. I think this is the favorite episode of people who only occasionally

watch Star Trek, not real Trekkies. The actor William Campbell, who played Trelane in "The Squire of Gothos" gets a new role as a Klingon. The Enterprise is on its way to Space Station K7 near the planet known as Sherman's Planet, within a parsec of a Klingon outpost. They mention the "Organian Peace Treaty" and who can develop the planet most efficiently. Cyrano Jones is a trader, selling Tribbles. Tons of comic relief in this one, especially when Kirk almost sits on a Tribble in his command chair, and when he is insulting the director of the space station. The idea of Tribbles being an over-populating parasite is intriguing. At one point, they are even attached to the walls! However, the Klingons are real pushovers in this episode, making it a bit unexciting. Kirk sentences Cyrano Jones to pick up all the Tribbles which Spock calculates will take 17.9 years. Deep Space Nine actually came back to this episode once--some sort of time travel thing that was done extremely well.

"Let That Be Your Last Battlefield" Season 3, Episode 15. This episode opens with a rogue shuttlecraft that I swear looks like a tissue box. Two aliens have been chasing each other for 50,000 years. There is a form of racism involved here. They are both half black and half white, symmetrically, but white and black on different sides. This is a decent example of the stupidity of racism, much like Dr. Seuss' The Sneetches. They are quite powerful too, as one of them beams through deflector shields, has an invisible ship which would be a technological marvel, can mentally take control of the Enterprise, and burns out memory banks just by pointing. They also have personal shields that can prevent a phaser stun. When talking about racism, Chekhov says, There was persecution on Earth once. I remember reading about it in my history class." (SIDEBAR: I had a similar memory with this as the first time I taught To Kill a Mockingbird at South Kitsap when I swear the students could not see the racism and had no idea why the town hated Tom Robinson worse than the Ewells.) Sulu responds, "Yes, but it happened way back in the twentieth century. There's no such primitive thinking today." If only, my friend.

"Is There In Truth No Beauty?" Season 3, Episode 5. I didn't take many notes on this one either. Some very interesting and strange camera work highlight this one. Actress Diana Muldaur (who will play Dr. Katharine Pulaski in Next Generation and is in The Original Series episode "Return to Tomorrow") plays Dr. Miranda Jones. She is the liason with the Medusan ambassador Kollos. They ain't named Medusa for nothing because one look at a Medusan drives people insane. The Medusan travels in a box. Other than that, it is only a mediocre episode. It is the first appearance of the Vulcan IDIC symbol (Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations).

"By Any Other Name" Season 2, Episode 22. A distress call. Two humanoids who with the touch of a button on a device on their belts make the entire landing party immobilized. They want the ship, to hijack it to the Andromeda Galaxy. The alien leader, Rojan, says that the Kelvan Empire has sent out ships to find a new galaxy to take over because within ten millennia radiation in Andromeda will make it unlivable. They take over the Enterprise with ease. Kirk does say that they should take it to the Federation, that there's "no need to do this by force." Rojan says that is not their way, that they only conquer, like a big crybaby. The Kelvans came on a multi-generational ship and it was fast enough to travel between the galaxies within only 300 years, not the thousands of years Kirk says it would take by Starfleet standards. The Kelvan ship was destroyed by that Galactic Barrier. (SIDEAR: I am sitting here watching, thinking, the Kelvans could colonize a world with Starfleet's help and then take over, with a base world already within the Milky Way.) "The chances are very much against" two galaxies developing two so similar lifeforms. Really? Thats not what the Preservers would say, or that Hodgkins Law of Parallel Development. Spock tries to "mind meld" through the cell wall again, a trick seen in another episode. The Kelvans turn two red-shirts into some kind of ball of elements, crushing one at random, killing Yeoman Thompson. The Kelvans are really hundred-tentacle creatures; they adopted humanoid forms to take over the Enterprise. What do they need any of the crew alive for at all if they can create new bodies, have a neural-inhibitor device, can change the Enterprise to go much much faster than Warp 10? Even if they didn't kill the crew, they could have just marooned them all on the planet. Again, Star Trek created beings way too strong and couldn't defeat them without making them out to be stupid. They supposedly needed the crew to get through the Barrier. At no time did any of the crew left intact do anything the Kelvans couldn't have done themselves. They manage to get through the Energy Barrier at the edge of the galaxy, and now they want to neutralize the crew, turning them all into those crystal balls. Why the hell aren't Kirk, Bones, Scotty, and Spock transformed? They are supposedly considered "essential" although I never see why. (SIDEBAR: There is no ESP damage from the Barrier like in "Where No Man Has Gone Before" and there is no directional loss like in "Is There in Truth No Beauty?") Scotty gets one of the Kelvans stinking drunk.

Kirk seduces the female Kelvan. Spock beats Rojan in 3-D Chess and brings out his jealousy (although they keep saying how much they hate these bodies, why would he think she was attractive?) McCoy is injecting one with drugs. The episode that could be so cool degenerated completely. A fist fight. The bad guy, beaten, accepts Kirk's proposition to colonize a world with Starfleet's help. Oh, isn't that nice? They're all friends now. Murder and the takeover of a Starfleet vessel? Fu-ge-da-boud-it! Could Starfleet monitor the Kelvans enough to prevent an invasion? I guess we'll know in 300 years.

"The City on the Edge of Forever" Season 1, Episode 28. My favorite episode. By far. Introduces the Guardian of Forever, time travel, and the whole idea that "Edith Keeler must die" is, frankly, the best set up for a show ever. No saving everyone in this episode. Harlan Ellison wrote this episode. The best ending line of the show too, with Kirk saying, "Let's get the hell out of here." With all the apocrypha and changes that have been documented and rumored, as this episode is finished, it is by far the best of all Star Trek. Hands down. The argument could be made that any science-fiction show could do this episode as you really don't need these specific guys, but taken as a whole, it helps us understand the relationships of these three crew members. Spock has some wonderful time on camera, and Kirk does what he has to do. This planet that the Guardian is on would be classified as even more quarantined than Talos IV. Indeed, there is the great novel Imzadi by Peter David in which Riker uses the Guardian for his own ends. Whatever the case, this episode as it is is simply one of the best science fiction stories, shows, movies, whatever, of all time.

So that's it. I'm all done. I managed to watch every single episode of the original Star Trek series. Fascinating actually. Some really good stuff and some really bad stuff, but all in all enough to make this an obsession for fans for 40 years. All in all, there is something to be said for the lack of two-parters and the fact that you can literally watch just about any episode without knowing anything about the Star Trek universe. You simply can't do that with any other show. And I would like to take a moment and give a nod of appreciation to two actors from the show who are now deceased.

James Doohan as Scotty and DeForest Kelley as McCoy. You played your parts well, gentlemen.

The fine print: The Curt Danhauser cartoon is copyright Curt Danhauser. From everything I read on the web where I got it, he says we can use it as long as we state who he is and where I got it from. I did. The pictures are all screen captures from CBS.com. They retain their original copyrights. All names, characters, plots, etc. are owned by their original copyright holder and are only used here for analysis and review purposes.