P eculiar Stories

Mora Fields
Illustrated by
Molly Aurora Koester
O Street Publishing Eugene, Oregon

Contents

Hello

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Swinging . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 Birdhouse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Being Somebody Else . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 Intergalactic Beans . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 Train . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 Dogsense. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41 Tea Demons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47 Absent-Minded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55 ought Machine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63 Breathing Underwater . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75 What You Can Learn from Your Cat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79 Magic. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87

Peculiar Stories

HELLO, ladies and gentlemen of the world. I havent had a chance to meet most of you yet since I wont turn ten for another ve months and I havent really been much of anywhere so far. I do know almost everybody in this town, though, and quite a few dogs. But I guess thats just a drop in the bucket, since I recently found out that there are almost seven billion people who live here on Earth. I gured if I wrote down these stories, at least you could get to know about me and Uncle E and Jasmin and, okay, even Sy, and then you could decide if you even wanted to meet us or not. With seven billion people to meet, it might save you some time. Another reason Im writing these stories down is so I wont forget them. Uncle E says that kids are smart when theyre little and they get dumber as they grow up. I dont know if thats true, but if it is, then someday I can just read these stories and remember what I used to know. Some people dont believe much of what Uncle E says, and I cant really blame themhe does say some pretty
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Peculiar Stories

strange things. But since he is about my favorite bean on this entire planet, I dont mind if he is a little unusual. Uncle E lives three blocks away in a yellow house that has a big back yard like a jungle, with the trees and vines all tangled up together. When you climb a tree, you can scoot along one branch and onto the branch of another tree, and climb down that one. He usually has vegetables in his garden, most of which Ive gotten to like if they are cooked correctly, which not everyone knows how to do. And theres a big swing in his back yard. He put it up just for me, to make sure I would come over a lot, so even if I didnt want to visit him I could just come by and swing. is works pretty good because sometimes I really just want to hang out with Uncle E but I can act like I came over to swing, in case hes busy or doesnt feel talkative like he sometimes gets. I could tell you what we look like, and the kinds of things we do, but that will probably get told along the way, so Ill just tell these stories instead. eyre stories about me and Uncle E, who Jasmin sometimes says is just a little peculiar. So I guess they are kind of peculiar stories.

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Did I mention that Uncle E is my uncle because he is my real dads brother? He put up the swing for my seven and a-halfth birthday. I didnt even know it was my half-birthday, but he measured it right to the very single day. He invited me and Jasmin and Sy over to his house after school, and we ate chocolate caramel cake that had seven whole candles and one halfa-candle, and drank pink lemonade. en we went out to the maple tree in his backyard. It has a big trunk and giant leafy branches, but they start too high up for me to climb; besides, the grownups made it o-limits because kids might fall out. ere was a long piece of canvas hanging down from the biggest branch all the way to the ground, which I wondered what the heck it was. en Uncle E said Vwah-lah! and pulled the canvas o, and it landed right on Sys head. He had to crash around to get out, like my cat Fred trying to get out of a paper bag after she somehow got in by mistake. Jasmin and I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants, which I havent since I was ve.
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But fortunately I didnt, and then when I came back to normal I saw a wooden swing seat hanging down on two thick ropes. Not any little-kid swing, either. e ropes had knots to rest your hands on, long ropes so the swing could go really high. ere was a sanded wood seat, smooth but not too shiny. I jumped on right away and everybody pushed me, and I pumped myself, too, and then everybody took turns swinging because it was big enough for grownups too. Uncle E had raked up a big pile of dry leaves in front of the swing so you could jump out and land in them and roll around, too, if you felt like it, and listen to them pop and crunch. We all did that, even Sy. Sy, who I mentioned before, is my stepdad. He got married to Jasmin, who is my mom, and moved into our house when I started second grade. I dont hate him like I used to, even though he tells the dumbest jokes in the universe, because at least he is good at skateboarding. He showed me some really good moves, and now the little kids try to copy me. I already told you how Uncle E made the swing for me so I could come over any time I wanted and swing. But also he taught me some stu about swinging I didnt know before. I do know how to pump and get going really high, and I know to hold on tight when youre really ying, because

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when youre at the very highest part, the ropes get real loose, and the whole swing gives a little skip when it stops going forward but doesnt start going backward yet, which is kind of cool. Anyhow, I can also jump out at just the right second, which is when the swing is on its way back, and just at the right split second you y out frontwards, and I can land on my feet. I can swing standing up, too. e rst time I came over to swing, Uncle E tested me out on all these things and said I passed and I could swing without someone watching me all the time, and he went in the house. But after a few minutes he came out again and sat down next to where I was swinging and said he forgot to test me on one last thing. I have to test your vision, he said, looking up at me very serious, which is how I knew he wasnt kidding. Its no good swinging if you cant see right. I can see right, I said, kind of huy. I dont wear glasses or contacts or anything. I see just ne, which he knows perfectly well. Oh good, he said, like that was the right answer. And then he leaned against the tree and his head went back and forth, back and forth, while he watched me swing. e next time I looked he was sitting on the ground with his knees up, and I could see he had a raggedy hole in one of the knees of his jeans.

Peculiar Stories

So, he said, what does it look like when youre swinging? I started pumping and got going pretty good. Okay, I said, I see the ground, and its got clumps of grass with teeny white owers. eres a pile of leaves in front of the swing. e vegetable garden has broccoli, and the radishes are coming up, and there are lots of weeds. I was going about as high as the swing could go now, so I told him, I can even see into Fishs yardhes out there picking

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berries, Uncle E, and now hes waving at me. And then I had to take a break from talking and wave back at Uncle Es neighbor, Fish, who doesnt look like a Fish at all but just got that nickname somehow. And then theres the sky and some clouds, I nished up. And I see you down there on the ground. No, no, no, he said, and he moaned and held his head like he all of a sudden got a headache. He stood back up again and came around in front of where I was swinging. I dont mean tell me what things you see, I want to know what the things are doing. Is everything just there, looking just the same whether youre coming forward or going backward, if youre high or if youre low? I thought about that a minute and then I said yeah, he looked pretty much the same to me whether I was going forward or backward. What about how big I am? Am I the same size when youre all the way forward as when youre all the way back? Well, no. I mean you really are the same size but you dont look the same size. You look smaller when I go backward and then you look bigger when I come forward. at was pretty true, cause he was wearing his red T-shirt that said You Are Here on the front in kind of mediumsize letters, and I could read it better when I was closer because it looked bigger.

Peculiar Stories

Now were getting somewhere, he said, and rubbed his hands together like he was getting warm at a re. Okay. Now swing some more, and watch how things change size when youre closer or farther away. So I did that for a while, and it did start seeming like things actually got bigger and smaller instead of me just getting closer and farther. If you try it youll probably see what I mean. It was kind of cool, but of course I know that really things dont change size. It was an illusion, like when people in the desert think they see pools of water in the sand, but they arent really there. ey are mirages. We read a story about mirages at school. I mentioned that to Uncle E just in case he didnt know, about how the sizes changing were just illusions. Hmmmmm, he said. Uncle E says hmm like hes humming, so its almost like a little tune. But let me just ask you this. When youre swinging, are you sitting still or are you moving? at seemed like a pretty dumb question, but I just gave a plain answer, Im moving. But how do you know? he asked me. Now his eyebrows were raised way up so they made a peak in the middle of his forehead and he was leaning his head over to one side, with his curly brown hair all sticking out to that side. I kinda wanted to laugh, but I didnt.

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Well, that question seemed even dumber, since it was pretty plain that I was going forward and backward on the swing. But I dont like to make Uncle E feel bad, especially since some people say he is a little peculiar, so I tried to think about how I knew that I was moving. Sometimes its hard to explain things in words when its just so simple for everyone to see, but I thought of some things. I feel the air going by when Im swinging, I said. And I see dierent things when Im all the way forward or all the way backward. And things get bigger when I get closer to them. Aha! he yelled. ats exactly it! Dont you feel the wind sometimes when youre standing still? e wind just blows itself! When things come towards you, they get bigger, dont they? And then they go past you and disappear, so sometimes you see them and sometimes you dont. Maybe you are the one thats staying in one place and everything else is moving. What about that? What about that? Uncle E was hopping around and combing his ngers through his curly brown beard, like he was dancing the bezerka. Well that was about the dumbest thing yet, but I couldnt think of any more ideas to show him how wrong he was. en I thought of this: Sometimes Im in front of the tree trunk and sometimes Im behind it. And trees dont move. I felt sorry for him then because I knew he would have to admit about how silly he was being. He is usually not that dumb.

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He was rubbing his beard slower now, and thinking, and I gured he was going to give up, but then he said, You know that computer game you have? e one with the race cars? You know how it looks like youre going past all the scenery and buildings and trees, and you pass other cars and other cars pass you? Here comes a riveror a big building, andzooooomyoure past it? But really, youre just sitting there in your chair, youre not moving at all. First the building is in front of you, then its gone. e scenery is getting bigger and smaller, giving you the illusion youre moving. But actually youre just sitting there in your chair playing a computer game, right? I guess, I said, kind of quiet. We all think trees dont move. But how about if you pretend youre on a dierent planet, maybe Jupiter, where possibly, maybe, trees do move? What if you just temporarily pretend you dont know whether things move or not, and you only pay attention to what it actually looks like and feels like when you swing? You feel the air blowing. ings get bigger and smaller. e tree trunk is in front of you and suddenly it disappears. What if you notice, one more time, if it seems like everything else is moving and you are staying still? Okay, I said, mostly just to not hurt his feelings. But partly I was wondering if what he was talking about made any sense at all, or if he was actually bonkers like Sy sometimes says, but hes only kidding.

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I was all the way slowed down now. He fuzzed my hair, which is when he rubs the top of my head in fast circles, and then its hard to comb out afterwards. Im going inside now, he said. You swing some more and see what you think. And he left. So here is what I did. I swang a long time and pretended all the stu moved and I stayed in the same place. en I imagined I was playing the racecar computer game, with the scenery moving and me just sitting in the chair. I pretended things like trees could actually move, and I watched them getting bigger and smaller. And when Uncle E nally came out again, I just said this: I dont know. And for some reason Uncle E yelled, YES! and twirled around and threw some armfuls of leaves from the leaf pile up in the air so they oated all around. And then he pushed me on the swing for a while till it started to get dark.