Kristen Iannarino Period 2- Mrs.

Simmonds 3/14/10

Marriage is a sacrament in the Catholic Church that binds a man and a woman for life, with mutual respect, care, and most importantly, love. In our country and even in the world, some marriages have become somewhat of a game, an act of infatuation, idolization, or even pure lust. Good marriages take work and communication and can be found in everyones life. The couple I chose to reflect on a good marriage with is the Gaskills. I actually call them Aunt Susie and Uncle Charlie, despite not being related to them. I have known them my whole life and they have been my parents best friends since college. The Gaskill family consists of my Aunt Susie, Uncle Charlie, and their three kids, Bethany, Brad, and Ben. The Gaskills have been happily married for 33 years and are currently living it up while being empty nest-ers! When I sat down with the Gaskills they really opened up about what it takes to be in a healthy, successful, and GOOD marriage. Aunt Susie and Uncle Charlie think the most important things they wanted from a marriage is, first of all, mutual and intimate love. This is a love that is truly lifelong and coming from both people equally. They also agree that they were looking for companionship, friendship, and respect in their marriage. Without these ingredients, a marriage would only run on the individual people rather than the couple as a pair. The third thing the Gaskills wanted in their marriage was children. I asked them if they would have adopted if they were not able to have children and they both said that they definitely would. When I asked them what the two greatest challenges about creating and sustaining a good marriage is they said communication and subordinating ones own selfish interest for their spouse. Communication

seems to be the key to every argument or decision that ever arises in a marriage. When ranking the importance of personality, intelligence, and sex appeal in their relationship Aunt Susie and Uncle Charlie ranked personality number one, followed by intelligence, and finally sex appeal. They said personality is what attracted them to each other and intelligence is something they found so they were on the same wave length. They said for sex appeal that the couple has to have care and maturity in their body to hold respect for their spouse. This respect and care for one another could also mean listening to and respecting each others irritations, for example if one were irritated when the other acts inappropriately he/she needs to respect that, says Aunt Susie. The Gaskills stated that their religious faith is very important in a marriage. They said, God is the foundation of our marriage, it affects how we raise our children and interact with others. Therefore, they both agree that sharing the same faith as your spouse is important because their family is united in their belief in Jesus. Throughout their marriage, the Gaskills said that it has become more important to them to have a sacrificial love and to serve each other in their journey to heaven. The necessary elements of a mature sexual love, according to my Aunt Sue and Uncle Chuck are: abstinence until marriage, fidelity in marriage, and understanding each others needs. On the topic of divorce, the Gaskills said three action that hurt a marriage are: selfishness and lack of regard for one another, lack of communication, and mismanagement of their assets such as credit card debt etc. Aunt Susie and Uncle Charlie met at Capital University and their first date was a simple dinner and a movie. They also enjoyed going on double dates with their neat friends Margaret and Frank. They told me about a time with the four of them went to Cedar Point and the men awkwardly planned matching outfits. This didnt scare off the girls like it might in todays society but rather thrilled them. Aunt Sue and Margaret bought their men matching socks to top

off the outfit. Disregarding the matching outfits, a double date to Cedar point is a typical dating custom today as well as while they were a new couple. The Gaskills completely agree that there should be no living together before marriage. They said, [Living together] is not the same as being married, because you are not. We dont believe in playing house and they quoted Genesis 2:24, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. This passage from Genesis says the man shall leave and be joined to his wife, not his girlfriend or fianc. The Gaskill are parishioners at Upper Arlington Lutheran Church and have defined their churchs view on premarital sex. It says, outside of the content of a monogamous, heterosexual marriage, premarital sex is a sin. They agree with their churchs teaching and it is biblical. To help their children grow up with healthy sexual attitudes, Aunt Sue and Uncle Chuck said to be a good example of a loving, lifelong marriage in daily life. Children pick up on what they see and experience, thus a couple should not waver in their teachings and examples. When I asked the Gaskills about advice they have for young people looking to date and be in relationships they simply stated, mutual respect, consideration, dont possess, honesty, dont be selfish, allow freedom within the framework of a relationship, and no controlling. They also made it clear to not treat the other person as an object.