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Advanced Language Patterns An Advanced Audio Program by Connirae Andreas, Ph.D. Patterns Include: • Verb

Advanced Language Patterns

Advanced Language Patterns An Advanced Audio Program by Connirae Andreas, Ph.D. Patterns Include: • Verb Tenses

An Advanced Audio Program

by Connirae Andreas, Ph.D.

Patterns Include:

• Verb Tenses (Relaxes)

• Sleight–of–Mouth Patterns

• Meta–Model III

• An Example of Complete Change with Language

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas, 1979

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 Advanced Language Patterns An Advanced Audio

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

Advanced Language Patterns

An Advanced Audio Program

by Connirae Andreas, Ph.D.

This seminar was recorded at an NLP Comprehensive Master Practitioner Certification Train- ing and an NLP Conference in 1987. It will provide you with an excellent beginning to Advanced Language Patterns. Since language is something we use daily, in many different contexts, you may be surprised at how many opportunities you have to use even small language distinctions to make a positive difference in your communication.

We offer you this language patterns booklet to support your making the best use of this Ad- vanced Language Patterns seminar. You will find most of the exercises given at the workshop clearly written down in this booklet. As you listen to these, you may want to pause periodically to review the written notes that supplement each learning section.

While this seminar is an excellent guide to exploring how your language can become more impactful and more aligned with your intentions, it is not complete. Additional patterns are available in our Master Practitioner Certification Training. If you want to experience this broader range of lan- guage patterns, and have the opportunity for more live practice and input of the patterns in this set, please inquire about either a language patterns training, or our full Master Practitioner Training. Our more advanced students and NLP trainers tell us they continually learn more through practice.

Verb Tenses (Relaxes)

When we think of events, we naturally order them in a time sequence. Time distinctions are expressed primarily by verb form. To determine how you represent verb forms internally, take any simple behavior and notice how the submodalities shift when the same content shifts position in time via the three simple verb forms. For example:

1. “I talked to her.” (past)

2. “I talk to her.” (present)

3. “I will talk to her.” (future)

Since the speaker is always in the present, these forms could be displayed on a simple time line like this:

these forms could be displayed on a simple time line like this: © MCMXCII, NLP Comprehensive.
NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 Notice how your internal representation changes

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

Notice how your internal representation changes if you use the present participle “talking” to express the same three verb forms:

4. “I was talking to her.”

5. “I am talking to her.”

6. “I will be talking to her.”

The “perfect” verbs are a little more interesting:

7. “I had talked to her.” (past perfect) expresses a past event which was completed before another past event.

8. “I have talked to her.” (present perfect) expresses a past event which may or may not continue into the present.

9. “I will have talked to her.” (future perfect) expresses an event which will happen in the future before another event.

If you display these forms on a time line, they might look like this:

these forms on a time line, they might look like this: The sentence “I have talked

The sentence “I have talked to her.” is not too different from the simple past “I talked to her.” (or “I was talking to her”). However, the “perfect” forms express a sequential relationship between two different time frames. “I have talked to her.” expresses a sequence between now and the past. “I have (present, right now) talked (past) to her.” “I talked to her.” is completely in the past— there is no mention of the present in that sentence.

There are other verb forms that link two time frames:

10. “Having talked to her,

another event.

(having plus past participle) presupposes an event completed before

11. “I hope to talk to her.” (present plus infinitive) the event (talk) follows a present event (hope), expressed as an intention (outcome).

12. “I was glad to have talked to her.” (past plus perfect infinitive) The event (talked) precedes an evaluation (glad).

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 Here are some verbatim examples of

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

Here are some verbatim examples of Richard Bandler’s use of verb form shifts to presuppose that a change has been made and that the old behavior is now in the past.

1. Putting a present problem into the past by using past tense The tag “question” negation (with sinking inflection to make it into a statement/command) redirects attention to the past, and prevents the problem from continuing into the future. “That was a problem, wasn’t it?” “You wanted to ask me a question, didn’t you?” “You were very concerned, weren’t you?”

Richard Bandler states: “A change of temporal predicates especially where there is a pre- supposition attached, means that something has already happened or something is going to happen. So, if I say to a client, ‘Well, you make unrealistic expectations. First you make an expectation which you know is not going to be filled. So then you had doubts, but those doubts were actually an expectation which was being filled because you knew you weren’t going to do it and so you didn’t, didn’t you?”

2. Putting a present problem behavior into the completed past by starting a sentence with pres- ent tense and shifting to past tense (with tag “question” negation and with sinking inflection). “It is a terrible problem, wasn’t it?” “You want to make changes, haven’t you?” “That is a swish pattern, wasn’t it?” “Isn’t that what you had been doing?” “You have a problem, didn’t you?”

3. Reorientation into the future new behavior, transforming it into the present, and looking back on the problem behavior in the past, or looking at yourself having made that change,

“What would it be like when you have made those changes now, in the future, as you look

back and see what it was like to have had that

as you think about it now?”

“If you could make this change for yourself, so that you could stop… having made that change and see yourself… now… Do you like the way you look? “

“If you could make that change and look back at yourself having made that change… now… Stop and see yourself as you are.”

4. Other examples of verb form shifts:

“How did you think the swish pattern works?” “Remember what you used to do… seeing it in an expanding frame.”

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 “You wanted to make changes, haven’t

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

“You wanted to make changes, haven’t you?” “Isn’t that what you had been doing?”

A verb form shift will seldom (if ever) be enough, in itself, to accomplish a change. If you’re doing a swish for instance, you need to first elicit the two pictures (even if you do it covertly and/ or conversationally). Then the verb shift can be used to link them in time, to accomplish the swish transition.

Utilizing Verb Relaxes Exercise

(Trios, 15 minutes in each position)

Overall your task is not to succeed, but to find out experientially how verb forms affect expe- rience, and to notice the external nonverbal shifts that indicate that the person’s experience has changed.

1. A states a limitation and a resource or desired outcome. (B and C may quickly gather informa- tion to specify the limitation and the desired outcome. 3 minutes maximum.)

2. (5 minutes) B and C experiment with different verb shifts, without necessarily trying to achieve the outcome. B and C watch for nonverbal shifts in A, and A gives feedback about any internal shifts he notices, particularly those which take him toward the outcome.

3. (5 minutes) B and C alternate using verb shifts to alter the problem state toward a desired out- come. Try anything you want. A reports any shifts in his experience in response to the verbal- izations of B and C,

Stretch: After B and C have each found a verbalization that impacts A in a useful way, ask A to restate his problem, and then B and C will deliver their verbalizations simultaneously.

Verb Relaxes Exercises

Purpose: Utilizing Verb Forms well helps you create more resourcefulness in any context—fam- ily, client, friend, business.

Phase I: Place Limits in the Past

1. A states a limitation (self or other).

2. B “backtracks” in a way that moves the limit out of the future, or becomes more temporary.

Example:

A:

“He is really a jerk!”

B:

“He has been acting like a jerk.” “He has been acting in a way you don’t like at all.”

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 A: “He always butts in when

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

A:

“He always butts in when I’m talking.”

B:

“He started talking before you were finished, and you want to finish?”

A:

“I have trouble procrastinating.”

B:

“So you have had trouble procrastinating?”

Phase II: Limits in the Past, Resources in Present &/or Future

1.

A states a limitation. “I get angry at my children.”

2.

B “backtracks” and places limit out in the future. “So you have gotten angry at your children.” “So you have been getting angry at your children.”

3.

B asks for outcome. “How do you want to respond to your children?” “When you have what you want, how will you be responding to your children?” Answer: “I would like to feel loving toward them.”

4.

B places the outcome in present/future. “So when you have what you want, you will be feeling loving toward them, is that right?” (stronger: “So you will be feeling loving toward your children when you have what you want, now.”)

Notes:

• Presuppose more or less, depending upon client’s response.

• Check for ecology before leaving the outcome presupposed in present or future.

Sleight–of–Mouth

This chart and list is our own reorganization and examples of the Sleight–of–Mouth patterns. Most of these patterns were first devised by Robert Dilts, modelling Richard Bandler’s language pat- terns. Reversing Presuppositions was developed later by Connirae Andreas.

These patterns are to be used on any complex equivalence or cause–effect statement. Below is a list of patterns, with examples, responding to the following sentence:

“Your being late shows me that you don’t care about me.”

A.

=

B.

Being Late

=

Not Caring

External Behavior =

Internal State

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 In the examples below, A, B,

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

In the examples below, A, B, or A/B indicates that the intervention is directed at only the first half (A), only the second half (B) or the entire statement (A/B). For the purpose of learning each pattern, we have tried to use examples that only use the listed pattern. Note, however, that some pat- terns always include other patterns. For example, “Hierarchy of Criteria” always enlarges the frame, and “Apply to Self “is always a meta–frame. Of course these patterns can be combined in a single response. Like the hypnotic language patterns, the more you can pack into one sentence, the harder it will be to “unpack,” and the more impactful it will be.

1.

Redefine: Changing the meaning. (Since A is the definition of B, you can’t redefine B without dealing with A also.)

 

A.

“It’s not that I’m late, it’s that I take my time.”

A.

“I’m not late now. When I don’t show up for 24 hours, then you’ll know I’m really late.” (also chunk down)

A.

“Being late just means that I’m a busy person.”

B.

“Caring is not a matter of punctuality, it’s a matter of making sure we get together frequently.”

B.

“It’s not my tardiness that can let you know I don’t care, it’s the shabby way I dress.”

A/B. “Your bringing this up with me means we have the kind of relationship where we can work things out.”

2.

Counter–Example: An example “counter” to the belief.

 

A. “I wasn’t late yesterday.”

A. “Haven’t there been lots of times when I wasn’t late?”

B. “ Can you think of any other ways I show you that I do care?”

A/B. “I was late last week, but you knew I cared.” A/B. “Have I ever been prompt, but you knew I didn’t care?”

3.

Switch Referential Index: Switch who the belief refers to.

A.

“You were late yesterday.”

A.

“You’re usually on time.”

B.

“You don’t care about me.”

B.

“You cared enough about me to wait.”

A/B. “Does that mean that if you’re late, you don’t care about me?” A/B. “Is your promptness a sign that you care about me?”

4.

Frame Size: A larger/smaller/different frame adds/deletes/ changes information in the same pic- ture at the same logical level. (Whereas chunk size changes logical level—more general or more specific.) Usually you will want to enlarge the frame or change frame to increase options and flexibility.)

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 Larger: A. “I know I’m often

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

Larger:

A. “I know I’m often a little late, but I always come.”

B. “I do care about you; I also care about keeping other commitments I’ve made.”

A/B. “Promptness and caring are both important to me, too. You can’t imagine how busy I’ve

been lately trying to keep all your bills paid on time.”

Smaller:

A. “I guess I was exactly 5 minutes late today.”

B. “On my way home I was thinking about two of the different ways I care about you.”

A/B. “I didn’t think my being five minutes late today would mean that I was uncaring.”

Different (but keeping the same criteria):

A. “When I came over the hill, I was just in time to see the gorgeous sunset.”

B. “I love you so much I bought you something on the way home.”

A/B. “I barely got to the store in time to get you something to show you how much I love you.”

Different (totally: A, B, A/B irrelevant):

“On my way home I bought a winning lottery ticket.” “All the way home I’ve been thinking how to best celebrate our anniversary.”

5. Reversing Presuppositions: Results in a new belief that is opposite of the old one. A/B. “In what way, now that you think about it, could my being late actually means I care for you more?”

A. Sleight–of–Mouth: Counter–Example, Switch Referential Index

Counter-Example:

Purpose: Finding exceptions to limiting beliefs creates a doorway to a new more useful belief. Be sure you gain use of all four kinds of Counter–Example.

Switch Referential Index:

Purpose: Another person is often a useful source of excellent counter–examples. Use also when you want to be more indirect (metaphorical), or when you want to invite a possibility but don’t know if it fits for your listener.

Exercise (Trios, exercise on the above two categories.)

1. A states a limiting belief. B and C use the Meta–Model to get this into the form of a cause–effect or a complex equivalence.

2. B points to one of the two categories, Counter–Example or Switch Referential Index described above. C makes a Sleight–of–Mouth reply using that category. B confirms that C’s reply is an example of that category. Be sure to include all four kinds of Counter–Example and Switch Refer- ential Index.

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 A notices what shifts in his

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

A notices what shifts in his experience.

3. C points to one of the three categories above for B to use in making a reply. C confirms that B’s reply is an example of that category.

A notices what shifts in his experience.

Repeat steps 2 and 3 at least once. Then rotate positions and begin with a new limiting belief. Write down the belief statements and replies that are particularly useful

Stretch: You can make replies to just the A side of the equation, just the B side of the equation, and both A and B, for each category.

B. Sleight–of–Mouth: Redefine, Change Frame Size

Redefine:

Purpose: When we like or dislike something, it has to do with what it means to us. Changing the meaning of an event or behavior changes our response to it.

Change Frame Size:

Purpose: The scope of what we experience impacts our response. Making it larger or smaller cre- ates a different experience.

Exercise (Trios, exercise on the above categories.) A states a problem or limitation. B and C identify useful presuppositions to change. Use Rede- fine, Shift Frame Size larger, smaller, or lateral to change it.

C. Sleight–of–Mouth: Reversing Presuppositions

Reversing Presuppositions Purpose: This category was modelled from Connirae’s language patterns. It is a particularly useful Sleight-of-Mouth category since you can utilize it effectively with most beliefs. The general formula below gives you an “all-purpose” way to apply this method—even when you don’t know the answer yourself.

Example 1: A woman complained that she couldn’t have a relationship with a man, because she had personal flaws, and these flaws would always cause her relationship to fall apart anyway, so there was no hope. Her belief was “The fact that I have personal flaws’ will always cause any rela- tionship with a man to fail.”

Reversing Presupposition: “In what way, now that you think about it, will the fact that you have personal flaws and you know it, actually support your developing a better relationship (than if you had no personal flaws at all)?”

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 Example 2: Another client wasn’t getting

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

Example 2: Another client wasn’t getting what she wanted sexually. She didn’t tell her boyfriend what she wanted, because that would be limiting him, and taking away his choice. Connirae said, “Have you ever had the pleasure of giving someone a gift that you know they wanted to receive?” Client (Yes). “Did you realize that you’ve been taking that choice away from your boyfriend? You haven’t told him clearly what you want, so you’re limiting him from giving it to you, even if he wants to… If you tell him what you want, then at least he has the choice of giving it to you if he wants to.”

Sequence in this example:

a. Client’s original belief: “Telling equals forcing or limiting.”

b. Reversing Presupposition: “Not telling equals limiting.” “Telling equals choice.”

Example 3: Belief: “If I let people know what I think and want, I’ll lose all my friends.”

Reversing Presupposition: “Now that you think about it, how would your letting people know what you think and want actually cause you to have more and deeper friendships?”

Example 4: Belief: “I have to stay cold and distant to be safe.”

Reversing Presupposition: “In what way would your being warm and present actually make you safe?”

General Formula for Reversing the Presupposition:

Limiting Belief: X

Equals/Causes Y

 

is

     

does

make

can

cause

“In what way

could

X actually

equal

more/better of Y (opposite)? ”

has

mean

would

might

Exercise (Trios, exercise on the above categories.)

A states a limiting belief. B and C identify useful presuppositions to change. Use Reversing Pre- suppositions to change it.

Notes:

1. Reversing Presuppositions differs from Redefine in that it results in a new belief that is op- posite to the old one. Essentially you are asking, “How is the opposite of what you thought, really true?”

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 2. The question form in the

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

2.

The question form in the general formula above enables the client to generate the evidence for the new belief.

3.

Sometimes it’s useful to first ask “What is the opposite of X for you?”

Worksheet

X

means/causes

Y

Sentence:

1. Change Frame Size

Larger:

Smaller:

Different :

2. Redefine:

3. Counter–Example:

4. Switch Referential Index:

5. Reversing Presuppositions:

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 Meta–Model III (The “Directionalized” Meta–Model)

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

Meta–Model III

(The “Directionalized” Meta–Model)

Purpose: Learn to maximize the usefulness of every conversation by transforming/directionaliz- ing experience in addition to gathering information.

When to use: Whenever you talk to others; business, family, friends, teaching, therapy.

Exercise (Trios, 35 minutes each)

1. While A does this step, B & C can go ahead with steps 2 & 3. A is client who thinks of a limitation or complaint, and notices how she represents this problem, but does not say anything out loud. A jots down a brief description of her representation of the problem.

2. B thinks of a question to ask A that he believes will get useful information from A, and begin to shift A’s experience in a useful way. Write this question down on a sheet of paper. (Do not ask A any questions yet)

3. B and C together answer the following questions. Write down your answers to (a), (b), and (c).

a. What presuppositions are contained in the question?

b. What presuppositions are in the brain of the questioner?

c. What specific information do you expect to get in reply?

d. In what direction will this lead the client’s experience?

4. B asks his question, and writes down A’s verbal response. A notices how her internal representa- tion changes in response to this question, and writes this down while B & C continue.

5. B & C write down all the presuppositions in A’s response.

6. Now C recycles to Step 2, writes down a question, and goes through steps 2-5. B and C alternate asking questions, each time going through the steps listed above. (Continue for 30 minutes.)

7. Take five minutes (maximum) to compare notes with A to out how each question changed A’s internal representation and other responses A had to the questions.

Stretch: Find out if you can change someone’s experience with three questions.

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 Applying Presuppositional Forms to an Outcome

NLP Comprehensive

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Applying Presuppositional Forms to an Outcome

Purpose: Add to the impactfulness of your communication by using a wide variety of presuppo- sitional forms. Use presuppositions more artfully to assist others (and yourself) in experiencing their outcomes. When to use: In every verbal interaction. These are examples of the presuppositional forms in the Appendix to Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson, M.D., prepared by Tamara Andreas.

Themes

A. You can learn.

B. NLP gets results.

C. You will be confident

The above three themes (with some variation) are presupposed below with most of the complete presuppositional forms. What’s presupposed is in parentheses.

1. Relative Clauses: a noun followed by a phrase beginning with who, which, or that.

A. Are many of the subjects which you can learn interesting to you? (You can learn subjects.)

B. The results that NLP gets are impressive. (NLP gets results.)

C. Might the confidence that you will experience come as a surprise to you? (You will experience confidence.)

2. Subordinate Clauses of Time: clauses identified by the cue words before, after, during, as, since, prior, when, while, etc.

A. Before you learn this, do you want to go for a walk? (You will learn this.)

B. After NLP has gotten results, many people are amazed. (NLP has gotten results.)

C. While you are confident, remember to pace the audience. (You will be confident.)

3. Cleft Sentences: sentences beginning with It was/is noun argument

A. It’s probably your intelligence that enables you to learn. (Something enables you to learn.)

B. It is the elegance and sophistication of NLP that gets results. (Something about NLP gets results.)

C. Will it be your skills that you will be confident about? (You will be confident about some thing.)

4. Pseudo-Cleft Sentences: identified by the form What [sentence] is [sentence].

A.

What you can learn is how to use presuppositions. (You can learn something.)

B.

What NLP results in is greater resourcefulness and competence. (NLP results in something.)

C.

Do you think what you will be confident in is your charm and grace? (You will be confident in something.)

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 5. Stressed Sentences: voice stress—use in

NLP Comprehensive

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5. Stressed Sentences: voice stress—use in combination with other presuppositional forms.

A.

Perhaps it’s MATH that you can learn. (You can learn something.)

B.

I’m especially interested in the OUTSTANDING results that NLP has gotten. (NLP has gotten results.)

C.

Will you be confident SUDDENLY? (You will be confident)

6. Complex Adjectives: new, old, former, present, previous, etc.

A. What will be the next thing you will learn? (You will learn something. You’ve already learned some-thing/s.)

B. I hope you noticed the initial results of the NLP work we did. (There have been results. There are/ will be additional results.)

C. Are you happy with your present confidence level? (You have a confidence level. You have had/will have other confidence levels.)

7. Ordinal Numerals: first, second, third, fourth, another, etc.

A.

Do you want to learn another technique now? (You have learned some technique/s.)

B.

The fourth result that I experienced with NLP was elimination of a phobia. (I have experienced at least four results with NLP. I have experienced results with NLP)

C.

Do you think that by the fifth time you’re confident you’ll be used to it? (You will be confident at least five times. You will be confident.)

8. Comparatives: -er, more, less

A.

Do you know someone who learns even faster than you? (You learn quickly.)

B.

Psychotherapy gets fewer results than NLP does. OR

Psychotherapy gets more results that

NLP does. (either way: NLP gets results.)

C.

Do you want to become more confident? (You are already confident.)

9. Comparative as:

as x as

A. If anyone else learns as well as you do, they must be smart. (You learn well.)

B. What else gets as many results as NLP does? (NLP gets results.)

C. I wonder if anyone else there will be as confident as you. (You will be confident)

10. Repetitive Cue Words: too, also, either, again, back, etc.

A.

Are you also learning consciously? (You are learning other-than-consciously.)

B.

So, NLP got results again. (NLP has gotten results in the past.)

C.

Are you expecting to be confident today, too? (You have been confident other times.)

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 11. Repetitive Verbs and Adverbs: verbs

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

11. Repetitive Verbs and Adverbs: verbs and adverbs beginning with re-, e.g., repeatedly, return, restore, retell, replace, renew, etc.

A.

Are you ready to relearn this material now? (You have learned it in the past.)

B.

I’ve noticed that NLP can repeat its results. (NLP gets results.)

C.

Do you want a good way to renew your confident feeling now? (You have had a confident feeling.)

12. Qualifiers: such as only, even, except, just, etc.

A. Only you can learn the way you do. (You can learn the way you do.)

B. Except for NLP, few approaches to communication really work very well. (NLP really works well.)

C. Even you can become confident! (You can become confident.)

13. Change-of-Time Verbs and Adverbs: begin, end, stop, start, continue, proceed, already, yet, still, any more, etc.

A.

Do you want to continue learning? (You have been learning.)

B.

NLP still gets as good results as it used to! (NLP has gotten good results.)

C.

When did you begin feeling confident? (You have been feeling confident.)

14. Change-of-State Verbs: change, transform, turn into, become, etc.

A. I don’t think you’d suddenly become a person who couldn’t learn easily. (You can learn easily.)

B. No one really believes that NLP could turn into a methodology that isn’t effective. (NLP is a methodology that is effective.)

C. It would be quite a transformation if you changed into a person who isn’t confident! (You are a person who is confident.)

15. Factive Verbs and Adjectives: odd, aware, know, realize, regret, etc.

A. Are you aware of your learning ability? (You have learning ability.)

B. It’s hard to believe some of the results that NLP gets! (NLP gets results.)

C. Are you pleased that you can be confident? (You can be confident)

16. Commentary Adjectives and Adverbs: lucky, fortunately, far out, out of sight, innocently, happily, necessarily, etc.

A.

It’s fortunate that you can learn, isn’t it? (You can learn.)

B.

Do you enjoy the good results NLP gets? (NLP gets good results.)

C.

Don’t you think your confidence is remarkable? (You have confidence.)

17. Counterfactual Conditional Clauses: verbs having subjunctive tense.

A. If you hadn’t been able to learn, you wouldn’t be able to drive a car. (Assuming you are able to drive a car, you had been able to learn.)

B. If NLP didn’t get good results. I wouldn’t be spending my time on it. (Assuming I am spending my time on it, NLP gets good results.)

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 C. If you weren’t able to

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Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

C. If you weren’t able to be confident, you would still be living at home, wouldn’t you? (Assum- ing you aren’t living at home, you are able to be confident.)

18. Contrary-to-Expectation Should:

A. If you should happen to not understand. I can explain it to you. (I expect you to understand.)

B. In the unlikely event that a particular NLP pattern wouldn’t work. some other NLP pattern can usually get the results. (I expect NLP patterns to work.)

C. If you should temporarily lose your confidence, you can press your own “confidence” anchor. (I don’t expect you to temporarily lose your confidence.) (You have confidence.)

19. Questions:

A. Which part can you learn more easily, verbal or non-verbal skills? (You can learn verbal and non-verbal skills easily.)

B. What results has NLP gotten? (NLP has gotten results.)

C. How confident are you? (You are confident.)

20. Negative Questions:

A. Weren’t you the spelling champion in fourth grade? (I thought you were the spelling champion in fourth grade?

B. Didn’t you see the demo subject eating peanuts, to which she was previously allergic? (I thought you did see the demo subject eating peanuts.)

C. Haven’t you had even one time when you were confident? (I thought you have had at least one time when you were confident.)

21. Rhetorical Questions:

A. What difference does it make if you didn’t learn math in the third grade? (It makes no difference.)

B. Who cares if NLP doesn’t fix 100% of all phobias in 20 minutes? (No one cares.)

C. What good does it do to focus on times when you weren’t confident? (It does no good.)

22. Spurious Not:

A. I wonder if you’re not already learning more than you think. (I think you are learning more than you think.)

B. I wonder whether NLP hasn’t already proven itself to be effective. (I think NLP has proven itself to be effective.)

C. I wonder if you’re not already able to be confident. (I think you are already able to be confident.)

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 Example of Complete Change with Language

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

Example of Complete Change with Language

Identify presuppositions and SOM patterns in the following “conversation.”

Client: I can’t say no. Well, 1 do say no, but I feel terrible when I say it. And often I don’t say no, and then my family gets shorted. Connirae: How do you manage to feel bad when you say no? Client: Well, when clients call and want to work with me. They’ve heard how good I am, and I know it would take them longer with someone else, so I don’t want to say no. And also I like the strokes I get from working with people and making them feel better. Connirae: So you want to help other people, and to get strokes/or yourself. What would result in your helping the most people and getting strokes for yourself in the long run? Not just in that moment, but over time, considering all your clients. (This enlarges the frame with respect to time and num- ber of people.) Client: Well, to get my rest, take care of myself, and so on. (He is clearly not associated into the solu- tion, but he has recognized it.) Connirae: So you were just thinking of that one client, rather than thinking about all the people you might be able to help in the future, and your family, and the impact you want to have on them. Isn’t that what you had been doing? (Puts the problem into the past.)

Client: (flushes and laughs) I guess so.

Client: What will get me to think about the big picture in that moment when someone calls? Connirae: Let me ask you this. When will you want to still say Yes? In that moment when someone calls and asks for something—what will still get you to say yes, even though you’re thinking of the big picture? (This installs the solution of the “big picture,” while asking for counter–examples to saying “No.”)

Client: Well, the first thing that comes to mind is if they will pay lots of money. That will help my family in the long run. Connirae: OK. Good. What else in that moment will still get you to say yes? Client: If the person calls and wants something that might be an interesting learning for me. Connirae: Great. And that will also benefit your other clients over time. Connirae: What else?

Client:

Connirae: Great. Now, can you think of anything that could possibly stop you from automatically thinking about the big picture when a client asks you to do something, so that you will help the most people and get the most strokes? Client: No, I don’t think so.

Well, if I really do have the time, and my family will still be happy.

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 Language Pattern Flow Chart GATHER INFORMATION:

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

Language Pattern Flow Chart

GATHER INFORMATION: Get Cause-Effect or Complex Equivalence

Therapist

“What do you want?”

Client:

“What stops you from already having that?” “X happens.”

Therapist:

“How is that a problem?”

Client:

“I feel bad.”

Therapist:

“How do you know to feel bad?” “What makes you feel bad?”

(“I don’t know.”)

“When do you feel bad?”

Client:

X happens and it makes me feel bad.”

Therapist:

“What does X mean that it makes you feel bad?” “How is it possible that X makes you feel bad instead of glad?” (or any alternative response)

IDENTIFY EXTENT OF GENERALIZATION: Context of limitation

Therapist:

“Do you always feel X when Y happens?” “Do you think it means Z every time Y happens?”

CONDITIONAL CLOSE:

Therapist:

LOOSEN OLD BELIEF:

Use presuppositions and all SOM patterns.

REPLACE WITH NEW BELIEF:

Use presuppositions and all SOM patterns.

“If we took care of X (limiting belief/response) would you have what you want?”

TEST:

Therapist:

“Is there anything that could possibly stop you from automatically using R (solution) (in the context of the old limitation?)”

INSTALL WHEREVER USEFUL ON TIMELINE:

Past/Present/Future. Use Presuppositions.

NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979 Supplemental Resources The following book and

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

Supplemental Resources

The following book and CDs provide added examples of styles and applications of language pat- terns. All these products are available from NLP Comprehensive. Heart of the Mind by Connirae and Steve Andreas (book) Aligned Self by Connirae Andreas (CDs) Changing Timelines by Connirae Andreas (DVDs) Logical Level Alignment by Robert Dilts (DVDs) The TOTE Utilization Process by Robert Dills (DVDs) The Walt Disney Creativity Strategy by Robert Dilts (DVDs)

To order these and other products visit www.nlpco.com, Write or call us for more information at 800-233-1657

This program is protected under the copyright laws of the United States. No portion may be copied, duplicated or replicated without the express written permission of NLP Comprehensive.

About Connirae Andreas, Ph.D.

of NLP Comprehensive. About Connirae Andreas, Ph.D. Dr. Connirae Andreas Ph.D. has had a lasting impact

Dr. Connirae Andreas Ph.D. has had a lasting impact on the field of NLP through her many innovations, including her ground-breaking work with Aligning Perceptual Positions and Core Transformation. Her contribu- tions include original work in Advanced Language Patterns, Timelines, and grief and shame resolution. She has co-authored or edited 11 books and manuals, including the best-selling Heart of the Mind, Core Trans- formation, the NLP Comprehensive Trainer Manual, and the new CT Trainer’s Manual. In her down–to–earth and heartfelt style, Connirae shares her wisdom with a clarity and sense of humor that has served to guide participants and trainers over several decades.

to guide participants and trainers over several decades. NLP Comprehensive Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas

NLP Comprehensive

Founded by Steve and Connirae Andreas 1979

NLP Books, CDs, DVDs, Trainings and Certifications P.O. Box 648, Indian Hills, CO 80454 (800) 233-1657 • (303) 987-2224 • (fax) 303-987-2228 Internet: www.nlpco.com • Email: learn@nlpco.com