1

Robin
Chapter One - Who is He? This story contains explicit descriptions of sexual acts between the characters in it. Although the characters are teenagers who may be below the age of consent in the country or state where this is read, nothing written here should be taken as approval of, or encouragement for, sexual liaisons between people where such liaisons are either illegal, or objectionable for moral reasons. Although this story does not include safe sex practices, it is everyone's own responsibility to themselves and to each other to engage only in PROTECTED SEX. It is a story. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Nothing represented here is based on any fact known to the authors. The story is being written by several authors, each writing a different chapter. It is copyright 1999 by "Its Only Me from Across the Sea" [Chris and Nigel and other stories], and by "Comicality" [New Kid in School and other stories]. If you copy the story, please leave the credits, and the web addresses of http://www.iomfats.org, http://www.studflower.com/comicality present, and also the email addresses of its_onlyme@hotmail.com, comicality@webtv.net. We'd all love to receive feedback. This chapter was written by It's Only me From Across the Sea ----oooOOOooo---It's really odd. I mean, I was sitting on the floor in the school hall, waiting for the principal to finish the morning ritual. You know, the bit where she bores us all witless with the 'Sit down on the school bus' stuff, when I saw someone I hadn't spotted ever before, just six or eight people away from me, and in the row in front. You know when something catches your eye, and you just can't get it out of your mind. It was the hair. It wasn't fashionable, or anything, but it was eye catching. That soft blond colour you only ever see in shampoo adverts, and just real, oh I dunno, real neat. I mean neat-groomed, not neatnice. Well it was neat-nice too, but that isn't what I mean. It was fascinating. From the back, and that was most of what I could see, from the back, it was soft and sleek, combed down from the crown to a club cut line overlapping the collar. From the side, it curved gently from the neck, near to the top of the ears, but below, and then into the most delightful swept fringe, from right to left, you know, with a right hand parting. It kind of looked sun-blond, but too pure for that. Not a single hair out of place. Since he kept his head downcast, slightly, sort of Princess Di, and he looked out from under the sweep of blond hair, you couldn't see his eyes, nor his face. Not properly, anyway. But I was almost certain that he'd seen me looking at him, and I looked away real fast. When you are pretty sure you're attracted to guys and you don't want to get flattened, you look away real fast. I mean, I didn't even get a proper look, but I knew I wanted one. Just to check, you know, whether he was as beautiful as his hair. You know I said I though I was attracted to guys? I'm having real trouble with that part. I mean, I'm fourteen, going on fifteen, and I can't get turned on by girls. Yeah, I've been hanging with the girls in my class, and made out with a couple, but it just seemed like another way to get a wet face, you know? And tongues. Yukk! Gross! Definitely gross. And nothing ever seemed to happen, well downstairs, and I didn't get an urge to take anyone's clothes off, least of all mine. And there wasn't anyone I could talk to. No big sister, no brothers, just a kid sister, five years younger than me. No help at all. I guess you need to know some more about me, too. Joseph. But I hate that, so I like to be called Joey. Look, don't interrupt me, I just prefer 'Joey'. Joseph may be a fine name, but Joey is cool. Josephs do homework, Joey goes skating. Josephs have tidy rooms, Joey has a real mess. Yeah, I'm Joey. Five foot nine inches of almost fifteen year old junior swim team captain, who doesn't think much of girls, who is OK at schoolwork, and who thinks he's gay, and doesn't know anything much for sure. What, you want to know why I think I'm gay? OK, if you'll stop asking questions for a bit, I'll tell you. I guess it's easy. I like being with boys. I understand boys. I know I get excited when I see a cute boy smile at me, and I never saw a cute girl yet. Satisfied? Yeah, OK, I'm sorry, but it gets to me sometimes. And you're the only person I ever told about it, so I get a bit edgy about it. Anyway, I couldn't get this kid's hair out of my mind all day. He wasn't in my class, he didn't hang out with my crowd at lunch, he just kind of vanished, as though he'd never been there. I guess he must have been in the year below. Or above. Or in my imagination. That's where he was all right. In my imagination. I couldn't stop imagining his hair, the way it fell across his eyes, the way it was so sleek, and hung so softly down to his neck. I could see everything except his face, hidden, shadowed by his swept fringe. See it in my

imagination. But nowhere else. I couldn't even see him waiting for the bus on the way home. Finally I got him out of my mind when I got home, and got to grips with the chores I had to do and the homework. Next morning, he was back, though. In my mind, I mean. And then... Then I saw him just ahead of me, slipping into the hall for the morning bore. He was talking to Amy, and they looked deep in conversation. "Who's Amy talking to?" I asked no-one in particular. And no-one in particular replied with silence. 'Silly sod,' I thought. 'Ask Amy when you can talk to her'. But I didn't get the chance. Yeah, they sat nearby all right, and carried on talking, right up until the time when the Principal told us to be silent. Then she went through the usual stuff. But this morning there was an announcement. I kind of caught the middle part onwards while the principal was droning on. "...have come to join us. They will both be here for the rest of the school year while their parents are posted here to the USA. I know I don't usually make announcements about people joining the school, but that's because there are usually too great a number. Jack and Robin have arrived in the middle of everything, and I want you to make them feel at home." I wondered, well guessed, if he could be Jack. Or Robin. I reckoned he was one of the two of them because, whoever he was, I could see that he'd coloured up and was looking a bit flustered. I guess it is embarrassing when you have your name mentioned by the Principal. 'Take the bull by the horns,' I thought to myself. No, I know you can't think to anyone else. Whose story is this, mine or yours? Yeah, OK, I know, you'll try not to interrupt. Look, I don't mind interruptions, just no wisecracks, eh? I feel strange enough telling you all this anyway. I mean, ask questions if you want, just don't make me feel stupid. Now, where was I. Oh yeah. Bull and horns. I went up to him as soon as we were free. And so did about twenty other kids, too. He looked flattered and panicky about all the attention, then just looked at the floor, his hair falling forwards. Jeez, if he only knew what that hair did for me. Bright, soft, sparkling, floppy. But I couldn't get to talk to him, nor to see his face properly. As the bell rang for lessons to start, I moved away, a bit reluctant to go, but not wanting to get a conduct mark for being late. History. We're in a set for history, instead of the class. You know, a group of kids from several classes who are all of the same standard. Frankly it isn't a good standard. I hate history. First it's dead dull. Second it's about dead people. Third it's a load of dates and facts and stuff to learn. Fourth, it means a whole load of writing about one, two and three. I guess there's a fifth, sixth and seventh and more too. OK, so you like history. Well I like cheese and peanut butter sandwiches. Exactly. There's one other big thing wrong with history. We sit in alphabet order of surnames. A is at the front. Z would be at the back if she existed, but we get to a W. I'm Joey Andersson. Yeah, from Scandinavia sometime back, I guess, but it means I sit at the front, right up by the teacher, away from the door. "Good morning, class." Mr Johnson, the history teacher. "What I want you to do this period is to write an essay on the effect of the Irish potato crisis on US immigration." Major groans. I mean, who cares? "Oh!" he added. "Who are you? Yes, the boy at the back?" Of course, we all turned round to look. I couldn't see, not without moving, so I moved. A flash of bright hair. Him? "Robin, sir, Robin Williamson." I couldn't place the accent. But what a lovely voice. Just kind of husky, but sweet, like a river running over pebbles, just rippling. "Where are you from, Robin?" Mr Johnson asked him. "Cowaramup."

"Excuse me?" Mr Johnson looked as though he'd been insulted. "Western Australia, sir, it's called Cowaramup," Robin said, "We call it 'Cow Town' for short. It's a small town on the west coast." "Cower em up?" "Cowaramup, sir, Cow-ah-ram-up." "Have you studied this area of history, Robin?" "Not really, sir." "Oh, by the way, just call me 'Mr Johnson', we don't go much in for 'sirring' here. I'm not too sure what you should do this period. Would you mind just doing your best while I get something sorted out?" I was sitting there waiting for a 'traditional' Australian response, like you see on the soaps, like 'fair go' or something "OK, I'll try," he said in that voice. Yeah I know he wouldn't say it in someone else's voice. I thought you'd stopped the wisecracks. "Right, all of you settle down and start to write." So we did. At least we tried. Well they all wrote. I tried. But nothing came. I was rerunning my mental tape of Robin, and that beautiful voice, and the picture of his hair. I found I'd doodled all over the paper, and hadn't written a thing. And I didn't care, even if I get in trouble for it. And the end of the period came. "I don't expect anyone to have finished," Mr Johnson said to us. "I think you'll need until this time next week to make a good job of it. Robin, can you stop behind for a moment, and we'll work something out." And, as I left, Robin was walking up to Mr Johnson's desk. Even though he'd seemed easy in his conversation with the teacher, his eyes were still downcast. I couldn't see his face. And I wouldn't see him until the next period when we were setted together. And that mightn't be until the next history period, four days away, on Friday. Or in assembly, or maybe at lunch. Maybe at lunch. Over three hours away. Better than four days away. And I had no idea why I was so besotted with seeing his face. Lunch. I rushed into the dining hall, grabbed a tray, got something from the cafeteria, and looked for him, all over the hall. Nowhere. I sat at a table near the entrance, so that I could spot him. And he didn't come in. He. Didn't. Come. In. And I had to go to swim practice. I mean like, NOW! And he hadn't come in for lunch. And I hadn't seen him since first period this morning. And I was going to be late if I didn't rush. So I rushed. And got changed, and to the poolside last. Major sin for the Captain. Yeah, since you ask, I was fed up that I hadn't seen him. I mean, I just wanted to see him. To see his face. Well, to hear his voice, too. "Sorry I'm late, coach," I panted as I kind of skidded to a halt. "Ah, Joey, there you are," he said, "I need you to look after the team while a new guy tries out for times." "Sure, coach." And I started sorting the team into order for warmups and lengths. And out of the corner of my eye I saw the new guy. Stop looking so excited. It wasn't Robin. That would have been too good to be true. Athletic looking guy, though. About thirteen years old. Not Robin. So we finished the swim programme, and got showered, dried and changed. And as we left the pool complex, I saw him. Walking towards the new guy. "Hi, Jack, did you make the team?"

"Yeah, Robin, no worries. Backstroke," said the guy who had turned into Jack "That's my bro. Backstroke champ back home, and backstroke champ here, eh?" Robin looked really pleased, and I could see his face. Just briefly. Just a flash, smiling, with his eyes , too. I had never seen eyes like them. Not brown, not even blue. Green. 'Now or never,' I thought. I wasn't shy or anything. Have you ever tried to speak when your heart is pounding? When you can't even work out what to say? When you feel stupid for just existing? "Hi, Robin. We're in the same history set." That wasn't so bad, I thought. "Umm, Hi, he said, eyes downcast straightaway. This wasn't a good omen.

And I had to get to school, and get through a school day. But Robin was at assembly. "Hi," I said. "Hi, er, Joey? Yes Joey. Hi Joey." He seemed awkward. "Listen, my folks got home too late to ask. And, er?" "Er?" "Er, I wasn't sure you'd meant it. Coming round, I mean. People..." "What?" "Nothing, doesn't matter," he answered, quickly.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Get the controls out, touch his hands trying to "show" him which buttons to press, and force your attentions on him, right? Wrong. First, I hadn't a clue how to find out if he had any feelings for me. Second, there was something almost sacred about the thought of defiling him in any way. Third, I am just not like that, and I am certain I never will be. Fourth, I was most of the way from attraction to love, even if I wasn't sure what it was. We plugged the station into the TV, not even in my room, but in the living room, and settled down to play. You know, I'd never ever been beaten before. Not at this game. Soccer is my thing, well as well as swimming, but you can't swim on a playstation. Robin whipped me. I mean, we played at full difficulty, same standard teams, all rules used, no cheats, and he whipped me. And it made me want to kiss him. And I didn't dare. Didn't dare even touch him. Had no idea how to, or anything. But you know, it made me feel almost twelve again, not almost fifteen. All giggly, a great feeling. We were yelling at each other, stupid things aimed at the players. He started it. "No, evil, evil, die, die, die" as I tackled him, crazy stuff, almost falling about on the floor. And did I respond? You betcha! "Another game?" Robin asked me after what must have been the twelfth. "I haven't had so much fun for ages." And our eyes met. For just too long. Only a brief second too long, but too long. And his face changed. Almost imperceptibly, but it changed as he locked onto my eyes, as I felt I was being drawn in to those green eyes. And his gaze fell to the floor. "What's up?" I asked him.

"How's Mr Johnson sorting you out?" It was the only thing I could think of. "All right, I guess." Jeez, that husky voice. I was melting and sweating. I'd never felt like this before. It felt crazy. "You need any help? With the history?" "Dunno." Eh? No, never. This is getting tense and you want to know if I've ever had a boyfriend before? No. I hadn't had one, and didn't look like having one. I mean, my heart was pounding, and I couldn't even get him to look at me when he was talking, well grunting, to me. "Er, well I'm 'OK' at history, and I guess it's all different in Cow's Rump." "Cowaramup." "Whatever. What I mean is, I don't mind giving you a hand." "Yeah?" "Yeah." And he met my eyes. He met my eyes. His eyes, green, intense, met mine. Looking out from under that swept fringe of hair. And almost smiled. Almost. "OK," he said. "I'd like that." "Where do you live?" Heck, we were almost talking. Almost.

"I meant it. Mean it," I told him. "I was kinda looking forward to it." "Heck, I should've phoned you. Sorry, eh?" Oh wow, he was cute. And that rise of inflection and the 'eh?' at the end of a, well not question exactly, but not statement either, was different. "What was it you said yesterday, 'No worries'?" I asked him, trying to catch his gaze. "Yeah, its an Aussie thing, right. 'No worries'. Means, well, what it says, I guess." And he smiled at me. A quick flash of a smile, a grin, almost, and eye contact, green under the blond, sun blond, groomed, soft hair. And the stars came out to play, and blinked out as I watched his eyes. And I nearly fainted from holding my breath. "Listen, why not come round today, on your way home?" I was hoping so hard that he'd say yes. "You can call your folks from my place, and if it's not OK, then you can go on from there?" I mean it was out of his way, but he'd still be on his way home. If you floow me. "You sure?" "Certain. We can do history, or just hang out. 'no worries'!" "What about Jack, though? We go home together." "He know the way home?" "I guess."

"Nothing, I was just, er, you reminded me, er. Look, forget it. Can we get a coke?" "Sure." I was scared now. I hadn't meant to frighten him, but he was all closed up again. Just from a look. But there was something, just something. When I came back with a couple of cans, he seemed OK again, so I didn't mention it. But "Joey?" "(swallow) Yeah?" "I, er think I'd better go." "Why?" "I just think I had."

"A couple of miles south," Robin said. "My folks a renting a house there." "Then give him some space. He needs to find some friends, too." I said it with conviction, hoping it was right. "We're down that way, too. A bit farther out," I said, "You got a bike?" "Nope. Rollerblades." "Wanna come round tonight and work on the history?" "I need to ask my folks first." "Look, I'll tell you how to get to my place, and you can call me if you can make it?" And I gave him my phone number on a scrap of paper. And we parted. 'I've talked to him. I've met him!' And I walked off with a skip in my stride. The rest of the day was kind of hazy. When I got home, I kicked myself. What do you mean 'Why?'. Stupid question, that. Who had whose phone number? And who didn't have whose phone number. Yes 'Ahh!'. Yeah, OK, I know. Sorry. I'm just a bit snappy today. Nervous I guess. I mean, I don't really know you and I'm telling you all about myself. Yeah, I'll try to lighten up a bit. Sorry. Anyway, I waited. Some fool phoned selling life insurance. Not Robin. Not at all. Not at five. Not at six. Not at seven, eight or nine. And yes, I tried the directory information service, but they needed more than a surname. They needed a street address, too. I knew it was too good to be true, but I was still hoping. I spent ages not getting to sleep that night. Just lying there, willing Robin to ring, even at three in the morning. But he didn't. I'd just made sleep at waking up time. Rough? I hadn't felt this way since I don't remember when. Rough wasn't the half of it. And we did. Took the school bus together, and got home. Now home is nothing special. Both my folks work, so noone is home when I get back. My kid sister stops with a friend until my dad collects her on his way home, so it is empty. Lonely, a bit, though I haven't told them. It's just an ordinary house in an ordinary street. I guess comfortable for money, but careful with it. Not short of anything, but spending means a decision, you know? "History, TV or playstation?" I asked him. "I guess. I'll tell him. I guess he'll be OK about it. He's a cool kid brother." So we settled on it. Robin and I would go back to my home after school, and Jack would get himself home.

"What's up? Haven't we been having fun?" "Er, yeah, but..." "But?" And he was on his feet, heading for the door, with a kind of urgency about him. "Robin?" "Yeah?" "Playstation. Mine's back in Cow town. Wouldn't work over here either, I guess." "I just got one of those Soccer games." "Hey, great, yeah. I left a great one back home." Robin was smiling, and I was having a hard job concentrating. It was the first time I'd seen him looking, well happy. The almost first time I'd seen his face. "Er, why?" "Because I need to, eh?" "I'll walk with you." "NO!" He shouted at me, urgently. "I like you, Robin. Don't get mad at me"

"Jeez, Joey, I like you too. A whole lot, but..." "But?" "I like you a lot, Joey. I just want to keep it that way." I was wondering what he was talking about. I was wondering, when he said "I really like you Joey. Really like you." And his eyes met mine again, but with a glistening at each corner. Robin was about to cry. Now or never. Instinct, I guess, but I reached out the back of my index finger, and gently wiped the corner of his left eye. "It's OK," I was almost whispering. "It's OK. Whatever it is, it's OK." "You know, don't you You've heard something, somehow?" He was beginning to weep openly, now, and I felt helpless. I wanted to hug him, to hold him, to help him to stop, but all I could do was stand there, helpless. "I don't know anything." "You do. About why we had to leave, and, and... I'm not a queer. I'm not. I just.." "Like being with guys?" "Umm..." "Wonder whether you might be?" "Umm..." And I did take him into my arms, risking losing him, risking, well I don't know what I was risking. "Robin? I'm your friend. And I have those feelings, too." "You (sob) do?" "And I'm scared as well." I was nearly crying now. "But I really like you, too." "(sob)" "Really like you" "(sob)" And I just brushed his face with my lips. Just a hint. Nothing more. And then brushed his lips with my lips. I had never, ever done anything like this before. Never. And before I could draw breath, he'd grabbed me and kissed me hard, hungrily on the mouth, and I was responding. And it wasn't wet, except for the tears. And the feel of his tongue? Oh wow!! And I still didn't know what to do. And as he broke our lip-lock, I heard, just faintly as we held each other, well felt, rather than heard the words "I think I love you, Joey, I think I love you" breathed into my ear, warm and sweet, and so quietly it was as though an angel had touched me. "You're safe now," I breathed back. "Safe now." And we were. At least for the moment, in my front room, just holding each other, and daring to look at each other for the first time. "I think you're real pretty" he said. I wasn't sure I was pretty, but I took it as a compliment. Anything from Robin's mouth was a compliment. "I think you're beautiful," I told him, and looked right deep into his eyes. "I think I'm in love with you, too. I'm kind of scared about it, but I think I love you, Robin. No, I know I love you Robin." And I held him so tight. Eh? Jeez, you but in at awkward moments, don't you? No, I had absolutely no idea what to do next. None. What do you do next when your not yet fifteen and suddenly in love and in the arms of a beautiful boy, and you're a boy too? Yeah, well of course I know now. This was then.

I guess we spent the next hour or so just holding each other and talking. Sex? Well I think we were both as aroused as hell, but sex didn't seem to enter our heads. Not then, anyway. I was too busy finding out about Robin. About my boyfriend Robin. My boyfriend. And about Australia, and why he and his parents had moved here. We just sat on the sofa, holding hands, looking at each other, and talking, talking, talking...

"Oh...Amy, it's you." I said. "Well don't be TOO excited, you'll wet yourself." She said. Amy was a bold young girl at 14. She had shoulder length red hair and light brown eyes, not to mention a wit that would flatten you if you weren't paying close enough attention. She was a very pretty girl, but hardly a primadonna. In fact, she often scoffed at the other girls who felt they needed to act cutesy and overdo the whole 'feminine' bit just to get attention. She's what you would call a 'real' person. And she was never afraid to speak her mind at all. "Pay attention! I'm talking to you." Exactly my point. "I'm sorry, I've got a lot on my mind today."

Robin Chapter Two - The Day After "You've got a lot on your FACE today too." She said. This story contains explicit descriptions of sexual acts between the characters in it. Although the characters are teenagers who may be below the age of consent in the country or state where this is read, nothing written here should be taken as approval of, or encouragement for, sexual liaisons between people where such liaisons are either illegal, or objectionable for moral reasons. Although this story does not include safe sex practices, it is everyone's own responsibility to themselves and to each other to engage only in PROTECTED SEX. It is a story. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Nothing represented here is based on any fact known to the authors. The story is being written by several authors, each writing a different chapter. It is copyright 1999 by "Its Only Me from Across the Sea" [Chris and Nigel and other stories], and by "Comicality" [New Kid in School and other stories]. If you copy the story, please leave the credits, and the web addresses of http://www.iomfats.org, http://www.studflower.com/comicality present, and also the email addresses of its_onlyme@hotmail.com, comicality@webtv.net. We'd all love to receive feedback. This chapter was written by Comicality ----oooOOOooo---As I slept that evening, I replayed the events of our afternoon together over and over again. Remembering every detail, every smile, every touch. I thought about how utterly difficult it was to say goodbye to my darling Robin once the sun had set. He stood up and I wasn't exactly sure what to do with myself. It felt like I would lose him if he walked out of that door. It was a fear of waking up out of that dream world. That world where everything was perfect and anything was possible. I stood next to him at my bedroom door, trying to get one last look at those shy green eyes as they dropped back down to the floor. We didn't dare move, we were too afraid to speak, and just mumbled one nervous 'goodbye' after another for a few minutes. Then, I broke down and kissed him delicately on his cheek. He smiled at me, and kissed me on my cheek to return the favour. Then he happily took off to make his way home. I watched him out of my window for as long as I could see him, and then fell back on my bed in a breathless heap. I was so enchanted that I thought I would burst. I KNOW it was just a kiss! But you just don't understand, it was a kiss from him. Listen, it doesn't always take a wank or a roll in the hay to make a person feel in love. It does for you? Well then you still haven't found someone special enough then. You will, and then you'll be able to see what I mean. It's a feeling that just encompasses every piece of you. And it makes the whole world look that much brighter for having him in it. It was amazing. So, I tossed and turned in my sleep all night...what? NO! Not 'tossed'! Tossed and turned! It's an expression! Can you get your mind out of the gutter for a minute and listen. Alright then. Anyway, every time I thought I was going to be able to go to sleep, I would think of Robin again, and this wave of pleasure swept over me. It was an exciting sensation of warmth that tickled my insides and forced me to smile. I would get all worked up again and I would roll back over on to my back and stay awake for a little bit longer. I have never had anyone make me feel that way before. I couldn't wait to see him again. The next morning I ran out of the house at top speed and made it to school in record time. I couldn't wait, I was panting in anticipation. We filed into the auditorium for our daily robotic ritual, and I felt a tap on the shoulder that woke me up immediately. I spun around hoping to have Robin's beautiful green eyes staring back at me, but instead I looked to see Amy's smile. Not that I wasn't happy to see her, it's just a bit of a disappointment in comparison to the end all be all love of my life. "My face?" "Yeah, you're grinning from ear to ear like a ventriloquist dummy. What's come over you?" It's funny, I didn't even realise that I was smiling. I tried to consciously will it to go away. But thinking of NOT smiling made me think of me smiling in the first place, which made me think of why, which made me think of the day before, which made me think of Robin, which made me think of kissing and holding him, which made my mind go totally blank again. And as soon as that happened, the smile would return, bigger and brighter than before. That's when Amy hit me in the arm with her bag. "Quit it!" "Ow...alright already. What's got you in such a foul mood today?" I asked. "I'm not in a foul mood. Well...okay, I'm in a foul mood. But never you mind that, I've just got a lot of finals to study for and homework to make up. It's crushing me this week." "It's your fault for getting behind." And before I could even finish saying it, she hit me with her bag again. "OW!" Just then, Robin walked up and said hello. "Hey Joey." He almost sounded like he was whispering. Not really sure whether or not I was going to be the boy he kissed yesterday, or the boy who was going to laugh in his face today. I was going to do no such thing, I guarantee it. "Hi Robin." And there was nothing else to be said. We just stared at each other, his eyes as green as a sun drenched summer plain, and I was captured once again. When he saw the love in my eyes, his smile matched my own, and we shared the moment together. "AHEM!" Amy said. "Is there a new drug on the market that I don't know about or something? If I didn't know you better, Joey, I'd say you were giddy." What? Of COURSE Amy doesn't know that I like boys. If I told her, she'd turn around and spread it all over the school so fast I wouldn't know what hit me. She'd become a total activist about the whole thing. Besides, I didn't even know myself just yet. I was trying to figure things out too. "Amy, I believe you know Robin." I introduced them to get her mind off of the subject before her meddling detective work got me into trouble. "We met briefly the other day at assembly." Robin said. Wow...his voice was sooo beautiful. So incredibly tantalising and with just a touch of a teenage rasp. "So you and Joey know each other, eh?" "For quite some time now." I replied. "TOO long if you ask me. Listen, you two can gawk and giggle all you want. I'm going to take this opportunity to do some studying so I can at least EARN the "F" I'm destined to get. Later." And Amy took off into the crowd, where she disappeared rather quickly. Robin and I stood there for a few moments, fumbling for a word or two to start some kind of conversation. But I couldn't meet his eyes without smiling and almost snickering happily to myself. Something about him just made me so incredibly happy that it overflowed from every pore. We couldn't say much of anything, but we didn't have to speak to feel comfortable. When we weren't speaking with our minds, we were speaking with our souls, our hearts. It was a language that went much deeper than anything manmade ever could.

We walked into the assembly together and enjoyed just being next to one another. To my boyfriend. Afterwards, I didn't want to let him out of my sight, not even for a minute. But we had to go our separate ways eventually in order to make it to class. But I let him know that I was going to be thinking about him. And we parted ways. Another interruption? What now? I told you, nobody knows about me! How many times do I have to say that? Well, Robin doesn't count. I know it seems kind of obvious to YOU, because I'm telling you the whole story. But to most kids in the hallway, Robin and I just looked like good friends. I didn't know what I was feeling, but it was controlling me more than I was controlling it. It forced me to react the way that I did when he was near me. You'd understand if you'd just sit back and listen already. When history class rolled around, I waited outside for Robin to show. As though walking through the door without him would be some form of blasphemy. And he started to smile as soon as our eyes met from down the hall. Then we greeted each other and walked in together, trying to keep our grins down to a minimum. I really hated the idea that we sat at two different ends of the room. I wanted to be able to look at him, stare even, throughout the entire period. To exchange glances and know that he was there. I was sitting way up in the front, so tempted to just turn around and start watching him. Even if it meant seeing the faces of all the other kids staring back at me. Knowing that he was behind me, and not being able to see him, to touch him, it was an unbelievable torture. That was possibly the longest history class ever created. And after that was over, I found myself having to lose him once again, for another long period of time. Sigh...what was wrong with me? I was able to live just fine without him before. What has changed since then? I didn't know if this was ever going to go away, or get any easier. It just remained an exciting rush of energy every time I thought about him. And it made me nervous. What if it doesn't stop? What if the only way to satisfy it is to actually spend every waking moment in his arms, and every sleeping moment by his side? What if it gets WORSE? People could go mad from this kind of need. I made it all the way to swim practice, trying hard to keep the jitters in my stomach to a minimum, and nothing was working at all. Not even the sight of a group of other boys in nothing but a pair of swimming trunks. They used to occasionally have an effect on me, give me a cheap thrill or two as I watched their slim bodies dive into the water. But not anymore. In the course of a day, they had ceased to become the cute pieces of eye candy that I was used to, and transformed into 'just another boy'. This was serious. With Robin, it wasn't just the outer shell, there was an inner beauty that kept me in a trance non stop. Take away the lithe teenage frame, the golden blond hair, the shining green eyes, and what you have left is still more beautiful than all of the other boys put together. Sigh...I'm going to need therapy soon. "Nice one Jack! We're going to hear nothing but good things from you, I can tell." I heard our coach say. And I looked over to see him cheering Robin's little brother on as he swiftly did is best to show out for the team. He really was quite good. I can see why he was so popular back home. The coach told him to take a rest, and the kid was evidently pushing himself too hard, because he was completely out of breath and fatigued beyond belief. I walked over to hand him a towel. "You're pretty good." "Huff...huff...thanks, eh? I hear you're pretty good too." He said. His voice sounded like a younger, higher pitched version of his brother's. However, it also sounded as thought it would be even deeper than Robin's when it changed all the way. You could just tell. "Hardly." He stood up and shook my hand. Happy as a little soldier, his thirteen year old pecs almost completely flat against his ribs, and his smooth stomach, while showing no definition at all, was definitely a tight one. His arms and legs were still forming shapes and curves, but for now they were smooth straight lines. He was a beautiful boy in every possible way. He's going to be one heck of a lady's man someday. "You ready Jack?" Robin had sneaked in while I wasn't looking, and when I saw him, the smile returned again. "Hey Joey." "Hey." Somehow, we never really got past that part. There was a moment in silence, and that's when I noticed Jack looking at us. Robin suddenly snapped out of it, and told Jack to get dressed. But Jack looked back and forth between us, and he knew something was going on. He HAD to know. He looked at me suspiciously, his eyes studying me carefully. "Jack! Come on now, go already." Robin snapped. I think he knew what his brother was thinking too, and was trying to stop him by breaking his concentration.

"Robin...I...I don't want to leave again. I like it here." Jack whispered timidly. "What are you talking about? We're not going anywhere." "Please?" "Jack! Go get dressed and let's go! Now!" He wasn't really yelling at his brother, but he was clearly annoyed. Jack seemed to pout a bit, but listened to Robin's commands and turned around to go back to the locker room. He looked over his shoulder before going in, and then disappeared. "Hehehe, little brothers." Robin giggled nervously. "Don't worry, I have a kid sister myself. But she's only 9. So she doesn't give me too much trouble. Not yet anyway." "He's...he's just a bit off today. Don't mind him, eh?" But despite Robin's attempt to make this whole situation seem normal, I knew deep down that it wasn't. Suddenly the idea of causing Robin any grief was beyond terrible. I mean, he basically had to leave his home because of what happened last time. What if he had to leave again...because of me? What if our secret got out? If the others found out that we had been kissing each other, we'd be hanged and gutted for all to see. Robin and I would be the laughing stocks of the school. A joke to be told at parties, a rumour to be whispered in libraries and hallways, a string of gossip to be traded back and forth between parents in town. Was it worth it? Could I look into his eyes and deny that it most definitely was? Jack hurried back quickly, still pulling his shirt on, and stood between us. He obviously didn't want us talking for too long, and made every attempt to quiet his brother and get him to leave. "C'mon Robin, let's go." "Jack, don't be rude. I'll be there in a tic, I swear." "I really need to get home. Come on." Jack would occasionally look over his shoulder at me, and I knew that like me or not, he didn't want me there. I don't believe it was out of dislike or anything. I just think he was protecting himself, and his brother, from making the same mistake twice. Robin fussed back and forth with his sibling, but after seeing the youngster's determination, I decided to co-operate a little. "That's ok Robin. Honestly. I've got some stuff to do anyway. We'll talk another time." "Er...ok. I suppose." He seemed a little confused at first, but I think he understood my reasoning behind it. "Tomorrow then?" "Sounds good. See you later." I said. I was going to walk away, but Robin gave me a hug before he left. Although I was still a bit wet from doing my swim laps, I hugged him back. I probably left wet marks on his shirt, but it felt so good to be in his arms. It was a joyous, almost nervous, feeling. One that satisfied me completely, and yet made me so thirsty for more. A strange combination indeed. He looked into my eyes as he backed away from me. And so did Jack. As I travelled home that day, I had a long discussion with myself. I just wanted to know how I felt about this whole thing. How I should feel. It wasn't easy, balancing between what I wanted more than anything, and what I was willing to sacrifice to get it. I couldn't even imagine the pain I would feel if I ruined this whole situation for Robin. And Jack, poor Jack. Last time he was just an innocent, trapped in a predicament of his brother's making. How awful that he had to be removed from his friends and family too, all because of his brother. I didn't want that. I didn't want to put him in danger of even having to worry about that. However...at the same time, how was I going to manage without him. I could still taste his sweet lips against mine. I could still use my imagination to wrap myself in the aftershocks of his loving embrace. I thought about him every moment of the day. How was I going to suddenly quit cold turkey. After only one day, I had become addicted to the soft memories of him in my life. Trying to hold back what I felt was going to be hard if not impossible.

What now? You interrupted me to ask me that? It IS credible to fall in love that way! Listen...to hell with what everybody says about 'love at first sight' being bull. I'm SO sick of hearing that garbage! 'Oh...love doesn't happen that fast.' they'll tell you. 'Oh...nothing is ever that beautiful or that easy.' they'll say. You know what I say to those people? I say stick to your OWN experiences and let me live through mine. I know what's in my heart, and love does not work on a waiting period. I swear, you get 50 separate incidents together, and as long as 26 of them go a certain way, more than half, the 'majority' is quick to SMASH every other experience and cry out about how it's a fake. Well let them spit flames my way. I know what I feel and it is stronger than their opinions could ever be. Maybe I hit that one in a million jackpot, maybe they can too if they stop being so negative about it. You included. What? Well I WILL tell you what happened next if you'll pay attention. You're the one who interrupted in the first place. I got home and finished up some homework. It was nice to have the house to myself for a while. But as soon as I got a chance to relax, the phone rang. I picked it up, and it was Robin...whispering on the other end. "Hey Joey." Something about hearing his voice just made me feel so lightheaded. I felt this sensation crawl all over my chest and expand until it completely bathed me in it's light. "Hi! I didn't expect you to call. How are you?" "Um...kinda bored actually. Nothing to do around here." I could hear a little shakiness in his voice. It was so cute. "No?" "No...not...not really. So...what are you doing?" "Nothing really. I just finished my homework. So I guess I'm going to be bored in a few minutes too." I said. His voice gave him away, and I knew he was nervous. I pictured him sitting next to me, and even in my dreams, I couldn't keep from kissing him. And it made me nervous too. There were small gaps in our conversation, and neither one of us could seem to say what we wanted to say without stuttering. "Oh...too bad. So...uh...er...how was school. After history, I mean?" "It was...you know...ok. I suppose." I wasn't so sure what to say. I only knew that I wanted to see him again. And soon. "That's good. So...er...are...are your parents home?" His voice got quiet. Did he want to come over? Oh PLEASE let him want to come over! "Yeah...actually for a while." I said. "Oh...ok." And there was a long moment of silence between us, where I wanted to say something, but this strange fear kept my mouth shut. Thank goodness he said something first. "Well...since...since I'm bored, and you're bored...do you want me to come over or...something?" Aww, it was so cute the way he asked me. God I loved him. "Sure. I mean, if you want to." I tried to sound as normal as possible, but my heart was beating a hundred miles a minute. "Ok...I guess. I'll be over soon, eh?" He said, trying to imitate my calm manner. I hope mine was somewhat more convincing. But I doubted that it was. And with that, he hung up. He was going to come to my house again! Oh wow! What to do? What to do? I swear that Robin must have made it over in record time that afternoon. Now, you're probably thinking that I would grab him at the door and kiss him deeply on the lips, and believe me, I wanted to. But this was my first boyfriend. My first ANYTHING really. I wanted so much, so fast. But at the same time, I was so incredibly terrified that I'd do something wrong. That I'd mess it up somehow, or that I'd move too fast. And then there was the part of me who was just scared of the unknown. I don't know how he would react to something to that. This was all uncharted waters for me. I wasn't even sure how he felt really. Blasted confusion...it haunted my mind every step of the way. When he came in, I just invited him in. No hug, no kiss...just a friendly hello and a nervous grin. I walked him to my bedroom and we both sat down on the bed. His collar length blond hair was brushing softly at the sides of his face. And he was just...there. In my room. Waiting. We tried to start a conversation a couple of times, but all we could come up with were yes or no questions. And neither one of us answered with much more than yes or no. We were both so fidgety that kissing him was pushed back to the deep recesses of my mind. I didn't want to scare him off, but I didn't want to go without either. It was an art, like trying to sneak up on a

butterfly and catch it before its beauty fluttered away from you, never to be seen again. "Er..." He said...and then he just giggled at me. He began to blush, and squirm a bit as he sat on the end of the bed. "Um...yeah..." My smile set him at ease a bit, but not enough. We didn't know what to say. How did we do this the first time. It seemed so easy. Now it was like neither one of us could remember how it happened. I wanted sooo badly to touch him, ever so slightly. The feeling taunted me playfully, letting the goosebumps on my arms flare up with a fury. My whole body tingled. "Do you...want to play a soccer game or something?" He said. Of COURSE! The game! That's how it happened. I quickly jumped over the bed and started it up for us to play. But it was obvious within the first few seconds that neither one of us was really paying attention. Not this time. We didn't score at all. We kept making mistakes, and I just COULDN'T find the courage to go any further with him. I was literally shaking with the very idea of it. Then...just as I was about to score the first point of the game, the screen froze. Robin had hit the pause button, and I looked to see his beautiful eyes looking directly at me. "Um...Joey I...listen, maybe this was a bad idea. I have to get going." He said. No! He couldn't go. Oh please don't go! "No...it's not a bad time?" "Are you sure? It's just that...after yesterday...I kinda thought..." He wanted it too. I know he did. Maybe even as much as I did. After finally hearing him say that, I knew I had to make a decision. Did the fear suddenly vanish? No, of course not. In fact, it was intensified 100 times. But I did it anyway. I HAD to. Even if I was scared out of my wits, I reached out two shaky hands to Robin's face, and pulled him in for a kiss anyway. It was a slow kiss. An almost experimental kiss. It felt so awesome to be kissing him again. His lips filling me with life and love like I've never known. When I pulled back, he followed me, hungry for more. And we both smiled at each other, bashfully grinning at our eagerness. "I really like you Joey. I have been waiting to see you since the very second that I left yesterday." "You too? I thought I was just becoming a psychotic or something." I replied. He rubbed my cheek lovingly, and whispered, "No...you're not." And he kissed me again. With the same tenderness and care as before, but I could feel the passion in him escalate to new heights. And it enhanced mine as well. "I...um...I just...really like you...Joey." He was breathless, and so was I. And we lay side by side on my bed, my lips pressed neatly against his neck, and we ran our hands over each other's bodies for as long as we could. We exchanged more kisses every now and then. Even some French kissing took place. With Robin's tongue slipping in and out of me in the most natural way. My arousal was beyond compare, but it was kissing my blond angel that I was concentrating on. Just making it the best possible kissing event that he had ever known. I felt his leg as he threw it over me and slid it up and down the length of my body, turning me on even more. And I suddenly wanted something that sweet kisses couldn't provide. Something...more...carnal. The thoughts took a hold of me, and I was so tempted! SO tempted! But how dare I ask him? How does someone go about reaching that level of ecstasy. Robin terrified me. To think of being naked with him was heaven, but at the same time it was mindblowing enough to frighten me into pushing it out of my mind. I wanted so much, and I know he did too. I could feel it. But mostly it was some soft breathing and muffled moans of pleasure. I had never felt so close to another boy, and I never wanted to leave his side. I was stuck on him something awful. "I have to run along, Joey. My parents will wonder where I am."

to cry softly as my hug tightened around him. I think that maybe he had been trying to find the words to say it himself, and now he knew it was 'safe' to do so. We kissed again a few more times while going to the front door, and I watched him blush and giggle his way out of sight. I went back to my room and plopped backwards onto my bed, my eyes staring at the ceiling in wonder. I felt the spot of the bed that Robin was laying on, and it was still warm, still possessed by his delightful scent. I just rolled over and cuddled up to that spot, imagining that he was still there with me. I was so in love...what would life be without this wonderful emotion to guide us? G'night Robin, I'll be thinking of you.

me. He didn't say it with any conviction, like he really meant it. He said it with sadness. "What are you talking about?" "I saw the way he was looking at you. Have you done it yet? Have you gotten him into bed?" "Look, Jack. Let's start all over." "I'm trying to. We all are. My whole family. And now you're ruining it." "Okay, this whole conversation is making no sense. You and I are going to have to talk. Right here, after practice. You get rid of Robin somehow, but you and I are going to talk." Jack just looked at me, then walked away. I was really rattled. If Jack knew, we were in big trouble. I debated whether to tell Robin, but decided it would be best not to. I didn't want to worry him. I figured Jack and I could talk it over, and I could convince him there was nothing more between us than a friendship. It wasn't 30 seconds later that Robin came up behind me, and whispered, "Good morning, gorgeous." "Stop that," I hissed. "Someone might hear you." "Yeah, you're right. Hey, have you seen Jack?" "Jack? Er, no. Why?" "Oh, he came to school early. Something about a project he had to do about migration. I guess he's probably in the library looking up things." "Yeah, probably." The school day was long as hell. The problem was, I was trying to figure out how Jack and I could talk without Robin getting suspicious. I actually tried to avoid Robin in History without being obvious. Right. The not-being-obvious won out and I ended up talking to him for a few minutes before class. "What are you doing after school?" he asked. "Practice." "Oh, yeah. And then?" "Dunno. Homework, I guess, and some chores around the home. My mum wants me to do some stuff, I guess." "Oh." I could hear the disappointment in his voice, and it hurt a little. "Could we get together later?" "Um, yeah, sure. I think so." Well, I'll see you when I come pick up Jack." "Uh, well actually, I can walk Jack home. That way you won't have to wait around." He got a confused look on his face for a moment. "But I don't mind. He's my brother." "Well, yeah, but see, this way you can, like, get YOUR chores done, and we'll have the rest of the afternoon after I get mine done." "Ok. Sure."

Robin Chapter Three - Lies This story contains explicit descriptions of sexual acts between the characters in it. Although the characters are teenagers who may be below the age of consent in the country or state where this is read, nothing written here should be taken as approval of, or encouragement for, sexual liaisons between people where such liaisons are either illegal, or objectionable for moral reasons. Although this story does not include safe sex practices, it is everyone's own responsibility to themselves and to each other to engage only in PROTECTED SEX. It is a story. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Nothing represented here is based on any fact known to the authors. The story is being written by several authors, each writing a different chapter. It is copyright 2002 by "Its Only Me from Across the Sea" [Chris and Nigel and other stories], by "Comicality" [New Kid in School and other stories], and by The Journeyman [Journey of Love]. If you copy the story, please leave the credits, and the web addresses of http://www.iomfats.org, http://www.ghouldrool.com/comicality/, http://www.theglassonion.org/stories.html present, and also the email addresses of its_onlyme@hotmail.com, comicality@webtv.net, thejourneyman200@yahoo.com. . We'd all love to receive feedback. And If you want to have early notice of a new story being posted, fill out the little form here:

Subscribe

Unsubscribe

Subscribe to IOMfAtS Mailing List

You'll get a confirmation, plus the chance to cancel. And I'll never send "embarrassing" stuff to your mailbox. Just news about stories and stuff. This chapter was written by The Journeyman ----oooOOOooo---It was becoming a habit. Up early, showered, breakfast and at school well before the first bell rang. I was hoping to see Robin again first thing. But once again it was not to be. I was sitting on a short retaining wall in front of the school watching the traffic go by. I didn't hear anyone come up to me, but suddenly I felt a sharp jolt in my back. I turned around quickly, ready to punch back at whoever hit me. But standing there was Jack. "Hi, Jack. Why'd you hit me?"

"Ok. I'll...I'll see you tomorrow then?" I knew I would, but what else was I going to say? "Yes...tomorrow." He got up and walked to my bedroom door. And then...I stopped him. "I...I love you Robin." I felt so...strange saying that to another boy. I had never seen it done before. Never in any movie, or television show, or book. But it was what I was feeling at the moment. What my heart knew to be true. And I had to speak for fear that I'd lose the rest of my marbles if I didn't. "Oh...oh Joey...I love you too!" He said, hugging me tightly and kissing me hard on the cheek. He sobbed a little over my shoulder, and began

"Leave him alone," was all he said. "What?" "Leave him alone. I mean it. I like it here, and I don't want to leave." He had said the same thing yesterday before he and Robin left the pool. "You're just going to ruin it. So leave him alone or I'll whip you." Well the prospect of Jack whipping me almost made me laugh. Sure he was strong, but I had 40 pounds on him, and I was no weakling. But it was the tone that caught

The bell rang, and I watched him walk over to his desk, staring out the window. As he sat back down he looked over at me, and flashed me an uncertain grin. The day was the longest in the history of school. Practice, which I usually love, was tedious. Jack glared at me the whole time. I was off on my times. It was awful. In the locker room, I asked Jack if Robin was picking him up. "No, he said you would walk me home."

He looked sad. "I don't know, either. All I know is that, number one, I want Robin to be happy, and number two, I'm happy here and I don't want to leave." "Jack, I swear to you I will not hurt Robin or you."

"How come?" "Because he had just left. We met early at school." "You arranged it?" he asked, his voice becoming strained and angry.

He sighed a deep sigh. "I don't know. I guess I have to trust you. You don't seem like the last bloke that fucked up my brother. He's got terrible judgment of people. Mine's better. You seem okay." "Okay?"

"No. I went to school early hoping you and I could spend some time talking before class. But he came up to me while I was waiting for you and punched me in the arm." "And?"

"Yeah, okay." "Don't push it, mate." "And he told me to keep away from you." We finished dressing and started for his house. Halfway there we stopped in a park. "Now, what's this all about?" I said. "What took you so long? You guys are late." "It's about you and Robin, that's what," Jack said angrily. "Leave him alone, Joey. Don't mess with him." "I like him, Jack. I want to be with him." "Coach got mad at us. Said we were slackers, not trying our hardest. We had to swim extra." "Yeah. Just like the kid back home. 'I love you, Robin.' 'You're the only one for me, Robin.' 'I want to be with you forever, Robin.' 'Let's fuck, Robin.'" "Jack!" "Well, that's what happened. It lasted a few months, then the guy tells Robin to fuck off. It was awful. I know brothers aren't supposed to get along, but I love him. He just fell apart. His grades were bad. He didn't sleep, couldn't eat. He didn't do anything. And when he called the kid to try to find out what happened, he got real angry at Robin. And then he spread it around school that Robin was stalking him and was a faggot. He got beat up a couple of times. The school made up lies about him and tried to have him expelled. And then I got beat up for being the brother of a faggot. "It was so hard on Robin." His eyes began to moisten. "He blamed himself. He saw a counselor, but it didn't help much. He started ditching school, hiding out in the woods all day. He got sick and weak. I thought he was going to die. I thought he was trying to kill himself by starving himself to death. "But he wasn't. Because he tried that for real one day. After everyone had left he swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. I was the one who found him. We had a water main break at school and they had to let us go. I got home and found him in our room. I called hospital and they came and got him. They said another half hour and it would have been all over." I sat there stunned. "That's when mom and dad decided the only thing to do was to move. Just leave town and try to start over. So we came here. I guess it was too much to hope for. He wants to be loved, and I guess he's going to keep making the same mistakes." "But this isn't a mistake," I said. "I love him." "You don't even know him." "I do know him. I feel I've known him my whole life. I couldn't do something like that to Robin. I honestly think we're meant to be together." "How can you know that?" "I don't know. It's just a feeling. I'm not trying to get him to - um....Jack, I'm not trying to only get Robin to have sex with me, like that other creep did. I'm in love with him. I don't want to hurt him. I want to make him feel good." "Yeah, right." "Jack, look at me." He did. "I don't want to hurt you. I like you. Not...like I like Robin. But I'm not being selfish. I'm not in this for myself. I'm not sure how to convince you." "Wanna come over?" I asked. "I thought you had chores to do." "Yeah, but they're pretty easy and I thought talking to you would make them go faster." "Um, sure. Mom! I'm going over to Joey's!" Jack said, "Thanks for walking me home, Joey." He went into the house. Robin and I walked quietly all the way back to my house. I got us some Cokes and chips, then we went up into my room. Robin sat on my bed, and I sat on the floor in front of him. I could see up into the shorts that he wore, but the essentials were lost in the shadows. I was horny, but I also knew I had to make a confession. "Robin, um, I need to tell you something." "'S okay, Joey, I already know you're gay," he giggled. "It is a feeling. I have the same one." He gave me a shy look. "I guess I'm going to have to talk to him." I laughed to, but not with much conviction. "No, I mean, I need to make a confession." "Yeah, I guess you better, but I'm not sure he trusts you completely. He loves you, but he may not trust you to think clearly." "You're trying to look up my shorts." "Do you?" "Well, yeah, but I mean, more serious. I lied to you." "I trust you to do exactly the right thing," I said. The smile flew from his face and he looked at me. "What do you mean? When?" I drew a deep breath. "Well, most of today has been a lie." I could see tears start to form. "Robin, wait. It might not be as bad as you think, although I admit I don't know exactly what you think. I mean I lied about seeing Jack this morning." "Yeah?" "Yeah. When you came up to me this morning and asked if I'd seen him and I told you no, it was a lie." He reached out tenderly to me and pulled me by the neck toward him. Our mouths met in a soft, moist kiss that we could have broken off or continued. We continued it, tongues meeting tentatively. The kiss got more aggressive, more passionate and our breathing became deeper. Our senses sharpened as our lips mashed together, and our hands, which we had wrapped around each other, began to caress each others' backs. We finally had to break the kiss to remove our shirts, but we did it at the same time so we were apart only a second or two. Then our lips found each other and we were of on round two. I pushed him onto his back on the bed. His hands moved up and down my back, so soft, so gentle so . . .well, yes, loving would be the word. Thank you. With him on his back, my hands had to find something else to pet. I decided on his hair. I ran my fingers through his hair. I never could see why guys did that in the movies or in shampoo commercials, but now I knew. It was fucking sexy. I ran my hands all over his "No. We talked about it on the walk home. I told him I love you. I said it was more than sex. By the way, I didn't tell him whether we did or didn't - I said it wasn't any of his business. Anyway, I said I love you and would never do anything to hurt you. I said I didn't want to hurt him, either." "What did he say?" "He said he would just have to trust us." He thought for a moment. "You told him you love me?" "Yeah. He asked how that could be since we only just met. I said it was a feeling." Yes, I know. I know it. It was a lie. I promised I wouldn't hurt Robin, and I turn right around and lie to him. And I was afraid it would come back to haunt me. "He said all that this morning?" "Well, no, see, he just told me to keep away from you this morning. He asked me if I'd gotten you into bed yet." Robin blushed deeply. "And he said if I didn't leave you alone he'd whip me." That got a smile out of him. "But I told him we had to talk it out, and to meet me after school. That's why I walked him home, so we could talk about it. And I didn't tell you, and so it was a lie. The whole day was a lie, Robin. I'm sorry." He didn't say anything for a moment. Then, "It's okay. I understand. I mean, I'm glad you talked to him. I'm glad he talked to you. I didn't now he was so scared. He sort of hinted at that in the pool yesterday, but I didn't think it was so bad. You know, I don't want to hurt him. Maybe we . . ." Jack and I looked at each other and he raised his eyebrows. I figured I'd have to take the lead. "No, Robin. No, you aren't. He loves you, and he's afraid. He told me a little bit about what happened back in Australia and why you had to move here. Not specifics, but enough. He doesn't want it to happened again. He said he loves you too much to see you be hurt. And, of course, he doesn't want to have to move again." We finished walking home. Robin was sitting on the front steps waiting. "That little fucker. I'm gonna kill him."

head, feeling his hair and tugging ever so slightly on it. I wasn't laying directly on top of him, but sort of at an angle. At any rate, the bare skin of my chest was against the bare skin of his, and together we were generating a lot of heat. We ground our lips together, pushing as far into each others' mouths as we could with our tongues. He had to break to swallow. (I wonder if my saliva was running into his mouth since I was on top. Oh, all right, I won't.) And we took the moment to gasp for breath, something that was become more and more labored. Then right back at it. His hands moved under the waist of my shorts and he stroked the top of my butt. He kneaded the part that he could reach. I didn't know my butt was so sensitive. The more he grabbed, stroked and kneaded, the hornier I got. This was going way too fast, but I was helpless to stop it. It was kismet (get a dictionary). No, it was teenage hormones. We started moaning into each other at about the same time and our groping became more and more urgent. Finally, for some reason, a ray of sanity shone through the sexual energy that had overtaken me. I pulled back slightly, but he raised his head to lock lips again. I pulled back further. "Robin," I said. "No. I want this. I want you, Joey. I need you. I don't care about anything else." "We have to. What Jack said . . ." "I can't help it. I need you, Joey. I've already fallen in love with you. Don't you feel it?" "Yes, and I told Jack I love you, too. But we can't." "Why?" He was panting. "I don't know. We've known each other like, three days. This is way too soon." "Then don't think of it as love. Think of it for what it is. Sex. Just plain sex." That stunned me. "It's not love?" "Yes, of course it is, Joey. I didn't mean that. But guys have needs. Hell, all teenagers have needs." That was true enough. "If we don't do this, what are you going to do when I leave today?" "I don't know." "Yes you do. You're gonna beat off, aren't you? Be honest." Well, it was the truth. I nodded. His hands were still on my butt, my hands in his hair. "Then let's help each other. If we love each other, then we'll seal that love. If we don't, if we're just friends, we'll just help a friend." I stared at him. It made sense. I was so horny I could just about burst. "Kiss me. Please?" I lowered my lips to him, and he was as soft and gentle as anything I'd ever known. He nibbled on my lower lip and sucked it into his mouth. He was starting all over with me, not picking up where we had left off but beginning our make-out session all over again. He was slowly building again, recreating the passion I had broken off. He had even taking his hands from under my shorts and was squeezing me to him. After a few moments, his tongue found mine again, and his passion increased, taking me along with him. It got hot fast after that. Soon our passion was as high as it had been before. He snuck his hands under the waistband again, but in addition to squeezing and stroking, his finger found my crack and he slowly ran it down as far as he could. I strained for him to find my hole. I knew it would feel great. But he couldn't quite reach at the angle I was at. I moved my left hand from his hair and stroked his cheek, then his jaw line. I cupped it around the back of his neck and with my thumb I

rubbed the side of his neck. Our kissing continued. My lips were becoming raw. I slipped my hand to his torso and cupped it around him under his armpit. That left the thumb right next to his nipple. I couldn't resist. His nipple was about the size of a nickel and brown. The nipple part was hard, almost white and stuck out a little. I put my thumb on it and moved it around. I didn't just slide my thumb around on the nipple, I moved the nipple under my thumb. He arched into me, thrust his tongue deep into my mouth and moaned. I continued to tease his nipple, and he was squirming fiercely under me. Then I moved my hand lower toward his belly, tickling and stroking, until I came to the waistband of his shorts. I didn't just work my hand under, I began tugging them down. I could feel the heat of his stiffie, but I avoided touching it. I lifted up a little so I could work the shorts off him and around his sweet bubble butt. I didn't try to take them all the way off because we would have had to break the kiss. Instead, I got them down to just above his knees. Then I went back to work on his nipple. "Oh, Joey. Please. Oh, fuck," he gasped. Then back to the kisses. Again I left the nipple, stroked my way to his belly button, which I teased for a moment. And then lower. At last I took his cock in his hand, the first time I had ever held someone else's cock. I just lightly took it, and the moment my hand touched the head, he exploded all over both of us with a huge release of boycum. He gasped into my mouth, grabbed the cheeks of my butt with all his strength, and pumped out shot after shot of his sweetness, coating my hand, my shoulder, his belly and the sheets as it ran off the side of his chest.

You'll get a confirmation, plus the chance to cancel. And I'll never send "embarrassing" stuff to your mailbox. Just news about stories and stuff. This chapter was written by The Eggman ----oooOOOooo---I was still dizzy, barely able to focus on his handsome face. But I could still feel his heart racing, pounding through his chest and into mine. Closing my eyes for a moment, I whispered, "I love you, Joey." Resting his head on my shoulder, he kissed my cheek then whispered, "Love you too, Robin. Since the first moment I saw you, honest." With my arm wrapped under and around him, Joey started to move up and away from me, or so it seemed. I tried to hold him firmly in place but he slithered down the front of my chest. As I opened my eyes to see why he was trying to move away, I felt him lick at an already wet spot on my chest. Moments later, he shifted again, lower and to the far side where he licked up another spot. He was cleaning me! I sighed and thought; oh hes so sweet! Im not much for praying. My folks never were much for churches or religion but we do believe in some supreme deity. Its more like God is all there is that is natural. But at that moment, while my boyfriend meticulously cleaned up, I silently prayed, "Please, let Joey be the one. Let it be him and me, forever." A horrid thought swept across my prayers though. What if he finds out what happened and why Im here? Would he still love me or even like me for that matter? Firmly, I told myself, Joey will still love me. I could tell him and will tell him. Then I prayed again, "Please, if there truly is a goodness in this universe, let Joey still love me." Finishing my chest and belly, Joey took my half-hard prick in his hand again. I giggled. Its really sensitive after an orgasm and Id never had one quite like the one he created for me. My nips will never be the same! Joey didnt move for the longest while. But then he twisted his hand and I giggled more loudly! He stopped and remained still for a few moments then twisted his hand again! I laughed out loud, "Stop!" and tried to push him away. Joeys head popped off my stomach and he turned to look at me. What a beautiful smile! And his eyes were so shiny; radiating what could only be real love. I smiled back at him and hoped he could see how much I loved him, how much I was depending on him. He still hadnt cum yet. Would he get rough and force himself on me? I couldnt bare that. Not after what happened. It seems like eternities ago. The other mate I had, back in Australia, he wasnt much of a friend. It started out that way but, once he learned how I really am, he mocked me and worse. Wed done it a few times. The first couple of times, only jacking each other off. Then, a few weeks later, he wanted me to suck him. After I made him promise to return the favour, I took his bone in my mouth. But he didnt suck me. He didnt even jack me off. He made some lame excuse and hurried home. The next time is when it all went to hell. We got naked and he grabbed my cock sharply, making me flinch. He then squeezed my bone till I thought it would pop. I yelled for him to stop and pushed him away with all my strength. Laughing at me as he wobbled back a step and released my aching erection, he then softly told me he was sorry and that he really wanted to fuck me. Since I felt like the only remaining virgin in the whole country, I got on all fours. I remember the searing heat of his un-lubed cock being forced up my bum and screaming out in agony. It never felt good. The next day, while I lay in bed recuperating, Jack came home from school in tears. The day after, when I went back to school, my worst nightmares came true. I couldnt walk the halls without verbal and physical harassment. Changing for gym was impossible. Every one wanted either a blowjob or a chance to fuck the queer boys ass. I stopped going in the locker room the next day. The next week, I started skipping classes. Soon, I was ditching entire days. The less time I spent in school, the easier things became for Jack. It still wasnt always normal for him but it wasnt too bad, or so hes always said. The counsellor I was sent to tried to teach me it was okay to be gay and how to be careful and how to judge other people. I wasnt learning anything new. My sexuality wasnt the problem. The rest of the world seemed to be the problem. One day, in the car outside his office, I absolutely refused to see him again, telling my mum, "Youll have to carry me cause I aint budgin." Mum couldnt lift me or even budge me. Then Jack got beat up and I swallowed the remainder of a bottle of sleeping pills. Jack found me and I was rushed to the hospital. Because of me, because of my attraction to boys and because of my inability to judge a friend from an enemy, we had to move. The smile I showed Joey waned too quickly and a tear rolled down my cheek because of my memories. It only took a second for Joey to whisper, "Robin?" and another second for "Whats wrong?"

If you liked this story, find more at my website http://www.iomfats.org, and from there also link to the Teenage Gay Boy Love Stories Webring where we have gathered authors who write fact and fiction about teenage male romance. And if you are an author yourself, please don't hesitate to go to the Webring Signup page at http://www.iomfats.org/ringmaster.htm and submit your own website for consideration for membership. Our Webring gets in excess of 3,000 hits a week. We must be doing something right! Click here for the list of TGBL Webring Sites [if your browser does not show this link, simply visit my website's links page]. Robin Chapter Four - Taking Another Chance This story contains explicit descriptions of sexual acts between the characters in it. Although the characters are teenagers who may be below the age of consent in the country or state where this is read, nothing written here should be taken as approval of, or encouragement for, sexual liaisons between people where such liaisons are either illegal, or objectionable for moral reasons. Although this story does not include safe sex practices, it is everyone's own responsibility to themselves and to each other to engage only in PROTECTED SEX. It is a story. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Nothing represented here is based on any fact known to the authors. The story is being written by several authors, each writing a different chapter. It is copyright 2002 by "Its Only Me from Across the Sea" [Chris and Nigel and other stories], by "Comicality" [New Kid in School and other stories], and by The Journeyman [Journey of Love], The Eggman [A New Life]. If you copy the story, please leave the credits, and the web addresses of http://www.iomfats.org, http://www.ghouldrool.com/comicality/, http://www.theglassonion.org/stories.html, http://www.theglassonion.org (the front door) present, and also the email addresses of And If you want to have early notice of a new story being posted, fill out the little form here:

Subscribe

Unsubscribe

Subscribe to IOMfAtS Mailing List

That made me feel so good! I smiled and pulled him to me. His erection jabbed into my side and I giggled but tears still flowed. Joey hugged me tightly and I felt him shudder briefly. I felt his erection deflating and, in moments, soft flesh against me. "You want me to go?" he whispered. "No!" I choked out. Then, after controlling myself a bit more, I clearly said, "Dont ever leave me." Joey shuddered again and squeezed me firmly for a moment. Then he sniffled. I pulled back and held him by the shoulders. Amazingly, tears were flowing down his face too but he wore the widest smile! I noticed a few fading childhood freckles darkened as tears rolled over them. I cant be wrong this time! This boy is sensitive, just like me! Joey took the time, in the middle of our first sexual experience, to ask me if anything was wrong. Maybe, I made him feel sad because of my tears and he thought I didnt want him any more? That couldnt be further from the truth! But he smiled, obviously pleased to hear me beg him to stay with me. Sniffling once again and quickly wiping his face, Joey chuckled, "Im gonna have to go some time, unless youre asking to move in with me?" Laughing and shedding tears of joy, I threw myself on him. "That would be great! But mum and dad arent quite ready for that yet, eh?" "They might not be but I sure think I am," Joey giggled. For a long few minutes we laughed and kissed, smiled and kissed then eventually only kissed. Feeling myself getting hard again, I reached down for his dick. It was hard too. He forced his hot breath into my mouth and I consciously inhaled most of it. Id never kissed a boy before. In only three days, Joey had taught me what a kiss could be. If he was half as nervous as I was, then it was all quite accidental but fun just the same. We were getting dizzy though from recycling air and started huffing through our noses. Soon, I pulled back to smile down at my boyfriend. Joey doesnt seem to even realise how attractive he is. Hes got a lean, swimmers body. When we talk, there have been these occasional pauses. I did it because I didnt want to seem lame but I asked myself, why did he do it? I think it was because he was just as scared as I was. Hes got a great body though. Even through school clothes, that was obvious. I almost crumbled to pieces when he said hello to me the first time. Then I looked down at his cock. I had it by the base and there was still plenty peeking out past the edge of my hand. It was a nice handful too, not too much and certainly not too little. He groaned then sighed as my hand began caressing and stroking. His jewels were pulled close to his body already though. They were rubbery, not fleshy. Years of wanking taught me to slow down and try to loosen them up a bit before he lost it too quickly. I was hungry for his cock though. I really wanted to taste it, to have it in my mouth, but I waited and gently massaged his jewels. Turning my attention back to his face, Joey dreamily muttered, "So nice." "What would you like your boyfriend to do for you?" I softly asked. "Oh, anything he wants," Joey groaned, "what hes doin now is so fine." After a few moments careful consideration, I whispered, "Can I taste it?"

over him, I went crazy, making Joeys cock feel the best things my mouth could offer. When my mouth got tired, I licked the head and the whole length then moved down to his spongy jewels, never once letting the finger teasing his hole take a rest. Joey tried to keep up but I had a mission; to finally give my best to a boy that wanted to give his best to me. His breath puffed against my balls in quick, short bursts. Moments later he released my cock and urgently whispered, "Robin! Omigod! Robin!" He heaved in a deep breath, quickly grunted and I tasted my reward. It splashed, warm and salty against the roof of my mouth. My tongue relished this new flavour but I had to swallow. I sucked and got more. I bobbed deep and got a little more. Then I just let the rest flow onto my tongue. Beneath me, Joey gasped for breath and tried to speak. "Oh Robin I dont believe it it was so good I love you baby Ill always love you stay with me please, say youll be mine please say it please." I wondered if I had heard him correctly for a brief moment. He called me baby and wants me to be his! Letting his meat fall from my mouth, I quickly crawled around to face him. Seeing his content smile and glistening eyes, I cried, "Yes Joey. Ill be yours." "Ill never leave you, never hurt you," Joey said breathlessly and pulled me down on top of him. He kissed my cheek and neck. After a long few minutes holding each other, Joey whispered, "Something bad happened in Australia?" I shuddered at the thought and hummed yes. "Tell me, share it with me, please." Tears once again flooded my eyes. "It was bad," I softly began and told him what had happened in Cowaramup. He started to cry. When I told him how I was finally abused and mocked, he sobbed unashamedly. We were both total wrecks as we got dressed. Physically and emotionally exhausted, we stared at each other as the tears dried up. Stepping forward, Joey took my hand. My free hand took his. Joey said, "We dont need to do that, have intercourse I mean, not till you are absolutely sure youre ready." I smiled gratefully and said, "Walk me home?" We went to the loo and got cleaned up. Joey giggled insanely when I said that I needed to use the loo. "Its a bathroom or restroom here," he giggled. "Too many syllables," I grinned. Noticing Joey paused at the bathroom doorway, I beckoned him inside with my finger and reminded him, "Close the door, eh?" He blushed and closed the door. My dick was starting to get hard again but I really had to pee. Taking my dick out and aiming at the bowl, I concentrated on urination but watched Joey as he washed his hands and face. Grabbing a towel and drying himself, he turned to me and saw my predicament. "They always get hard at the strangest times," he giggled.

"Im not out. No one knows but you, Robin," Joey softly said. I finished leaking then he turned around. Tucking my pecker away, I asked, "It would be all right though, wouldnt it?" I turned on the water and began washing up. After a few moments, he shrugged, "Dunno. But I guess Ill be finding out soon." Then he held out the towel for me. Taking the towel, I said, "Cant let it get back to school though, eh? Im sure not ready for that again." Joey nodded, "We gotta watch ourselves around Amy. Shed go flapping her gums and everyone would know within a day, max." Id met so many new people and wondered aloud, "Which one is Amy?" "The boisterous redhead," he smirked. Done drying my hands, I folded the towel and returned it to the hanging holder on the wall. Joey smiled brightly, "My mom is gonna love you!" then giggled heartily and placed a soft kiss on my cheek. As we walked out of his house, his little sister ran up the path and, a few paces behind her, Joeys father. She shouted, "Hi," and hurried into the house. I waved nervously to his dad. "Whos this, Joey?" his dad asked. "This is Robin, dad. He just moved here from Australia," Joey answered. His dad said, "Welcome to America, Robin." Then he turned to Joey and said, "Where are you two off to?" "Just walking Robin home. Ill be back in about twenty minutes." Joey said. He tugged at my shirt and we were on our way. "Nice meeting you Robin," his dad loudly said as we hurried off. I turned and waved, "Yes Sir, same here!" Ecstatic as I crossed the street, I could barely believe that I had a boyfriend and had already met his father and sister! I had only met the other boys mother once. Joey chuckled as we knocked into each other a few times. I asked, "Whats your sisters name?" "Beth, Elizabeth really." For a while, we walked silently, occasionally smiling at each other. Then Joey cautiously asked, "How do you want us to be at school?" "Best mates er friends," I answered. "Ill want to touch you, run my fingers through your hair," he softly said. I blushed and giggled, "Id want you to but not at school. Maybe someday but not yet eh?" Smiling widely, he mimicked my accent and said, "No worries. Im not ready for that either but cant deny what Id want to do." Again, we walked silently for a while. I glanced at my watch. Mum and dad would be home by now. Supper would be served soon. There might be time for introductions but no time for an affectionate goodbye embrace that I so wanted and needed. "Do you have to be back home in twenty minutes?" I asked. He grinned, "I could be a few minutes late." Moments later, we stopped briefly at my front door and glanced at each other. He inhaled, exhaled then nodded and I opened the door. Dad and Jack were in the living room. "Hi, Im home," I said a little too cheerfully. Coughing to catch myself, I then said, "Dad, this is Joey. Joseph Anderson, from school."

Joey shivered and hummed yes. He then whispered, "Ill have to taste yours too then," and started to pull my side. He moved a little and I moved so that one eye was staring me directly in the face. We looked at each other then I tentatively licked the head, cleaning up the drop of wetness there. With a sigh, Joey opened up wide and took the head and another inch or so into his hot wet mouth. I was deliriously happy. Joey wasnt going to use me and leave me, I was certain of it. I took him in my mouth and began bobbing up and down on his meat. He was good and dealt with my foreskin real nice. Not to be out done, I finally had easy access to his back door and softly fingered the outside of it. Joey whimpered and bucked; forcing a bit too much of his cock into my mouth and making me gag for a second. Immediately, he let my cock out of his mouth and softly said, "Sorry." Amazing! He paused to apologise! Insane lust and passion overwhelmed me. I tried to swallow his whole cock and discovered that, if I were ready for it, I wouldnt gag. Pushing him flat and moving

"S not so strange in this case, eh?" I teased. His face turned bright red and he shook his head. "Ill just turn around then so you can finish this month," Joey said. Thankfully, with half a hard-on, I started to leak soon after he turned around. After a few moments, Joey sighed, "Im already dreading saying goodbye to you. Its ripping me in half, ya know?" "S all right. Ill talk with Jack tonight. Tell him how special you are. Then Ill find a way to tell mum and shell tell dad. Theyd probably like to know that I can make good choices from time to time."

"Hello," dad smirked. Joey waved and said hello to both my dad and brother. Jack stared up at us like we were from outer space, growing antennae on our heads. He knew. I could tell he knew. Quickly, I pulled Joey into the kitchen and introduced him to my mum. Just as quickly, I said, "Joey needs to get home but Im gonna show him the house and my room real quick." Like greased lightning, I led him past the dining room and down the hall to my room. I closed the bedroom door most of the way, leaving it slightly ajar so my folks wouldnt get too suspicious. The second it was safe, Joey wrapped his arms around me from behind and whispered, "I love you." Leaning back and smiling my widest, I softly said, "I love you too." "Its gonna be lonely tonight," he sighed. "Ill be thinking of you." After a few moments bliss, I said, "Wish I could ask you to stay but its too short notice. How about supper tomorrow?" Flustered, Joey stammered, "So soon? You think thatd be okay?" Turning in his arms, I said, "Ill let you know for certain tomorrow," then kissed him. He sucked my lower lip into his mouth and brushed his tongue across it. Holding the back of his head firmly but not too roughly, I opened up wider and accepted his tongue. Within moments we were huffing huge breaths out of our noses. I began to get hard and started to feel his erection against me. At the same moment we backed away and smiled knowingly. Fixing his shirt, he gasped, "Wait till tomorrow." "Might not be able too. Ill talk with Jack then go to bed around eleven." He grinned, "Well be apart but together." Pulling me closer, he plainly said, "I love your eyes. Gotta snap a close-up photo some day." Blushing, I giggled and then said, "Meet me at eleven." "With bells on, figuratively speaking of course!" We both giggled hysterically and I led him to the door. Stepping just outside the door, he looked both ways down the street, turned back for a moment and blew me a kiss then trotted down the path. I watched him until he was out of site. Dad said, "You made a new friend, eh?" Answering my dad but shifting my gaze between him and Jack, I said, "A really good one, I think." Concerned, my dad said, "Be careful. We cant move again." "We wont have to, I promise." Dad then got up and headed for the dining room and Jack followed. I could tell that Jack was bursting at the seams to ask me tons of questions and to probably curse me too. Joey was the first topic of conversation at the table. Mum sat down and said, "Hes a handsome boy, eh?" Smiling widely, I nodded enthusiastically saying; "And he genuinely cares about me. Jack knows him too. Theyre on the swim team together." Disinterested and probably a little angry, Jack only nodded. "How do you know he cares so much?" dad asked. I swallowed my food and without even thinking, I said, "I told him why we moved in detail. He didnt just shed a few tears but bawled as hard as I was." Noticing everyone had stopped eating and was staring at me, I said, "He had to know, didnt he? And no one can fake crying that hard." After everyone began eating again, dad said, "Youre moving a little fast, dont you think?"

Mum quickly added, "You cant really know each other that well." "Were working on it. I met his dad and little sister, hes met all of you too," I quickly explained. Then, during a break in the conversation, I thought Id better relieve some worries. "Were not having sex. We sat on his couch, watching television. He moved closer to me and I instinctively shuffled away. When it happened again, Joey asked why I was so afraid. I told him exactly why. He cried with me. Then he told me that hes not out to anyone, not even his family. Things are gonna move much more slowly this time." I wanted so badly to say, he loves me and I love him, but thought better of it. If my folks knew we were saying that, I might be grounded till I turned eighteen so I kept the truth secret. Instead, I said, "Were in America now. This is San Mateo, California, one of the most liberal areas in the world. Tell me you didnt choose this area so we could all breath a bit easier?" Dad chuckled a bit but never denied what I said. Mum asked me to help her with the dishes after supper. Alone, she asked me more about Joey and his family and what their house looked like. Confused, I asked, "What does it matter how their house looks?" "You can tell a lot about people by how they maintain their home. Is it neat or cluttered or a total shambles?" "Its tidy," I answered. She nodded then asked, "Was Joeys dad nice?" "Only saw him for a minute but yeah, he welcomed me to America." I had finished drying the dishes and mom was finishing up the glasses when she said, "Just because this is a liberal area doesnt mean that everyone is tolerant of homosexuals." "I know mum. We already talked about being careful at school. But Joey knows hes gay. He just never had a reason to tell anyone." "We worry. Dont be in such a hurry to give away your heart. Youre special and he needs to treat you that way," my mom said. Noticing I was become bored by her overprotective speech, she sighed, "Promise me youll take it slow?" "Of course. I dont want to cause another problem where we would have to move again." Mum sighed then looked me in the eye and firmly said, "You were not the reason we moved. We moved because of small town people and their small minds! Never forget that. It wasnt your fault." Wanting to believe that, I nodded and then asked, "Can Joey come over for supper tomorrow?" "S fine with me. Go ask your dad." Excited, I yelled across the rooms, "Dad, can Joey come over for supper tomorrow?" Mum covered her ears then cuffed me one on my shoulder and laughed, "I said, GO ask your dad! As in, walk over there and speak in a normal tone of voice!" No sooner had she finished, dad hollered, "Yeah, no worries here." "Youre all hopeless," mum grumbled. I giggled then high tailed it out of the kitchen before she took another swing at me and hurt her hand.

Jack wasnt in the living room but I slowed down and thanked dad then went to Jacks room. Slowly and sadly shaking his head, Jack said, "You did it again, eh?" My brother is thirteen going on thirty, I think. I shushed him then sat on his bed, very near to the desk chair he was sitting on. I struggled with myself for almost a minute before saying, "Ill tell you the truth but you have to keep it a secret." Jack whispered, "Damn it!" Softly but very firmly, I said, "Joey didnt force me to do anything! Everything I said at the table was the truth. But there was one other thing I couldnt say to mom and dad. I wanted to tell you. You want to hear it, eh?" Jack sighed, "I guess." Leaning closer to him, I whispered, "After I told him everything that happened in Cowaramup, Joey held my hand and said we didnt have to have intercourse until I was absolutely certain I was ready." "Yeah, right. And a few weeks from now hell get horny and force himself on you, just like Stan did." Taking my little brother by the shoulders, I sternly said, "He wont Jack! Joey is nothing like Stan! Hes better looking and more polite and sensitive and, most importantly, definitely gay." Jack and I stared at each other for a long while. Finally, he pulled away and my hands fell from his shoulders. "Youd better be right. If he hurts you, Ill drown him, swear to God I will." I chuckled, "Hes bigger and stronger than you, eh? Please dont be that way tomorrow night. S important to me that you two like each other at least a little." Turning back to his homework, Jack asked, "Why cant you just get a little lotion and have a wank like every other teenager?" Unable to help myself, I busted up laughing! Jack turned and grinned at me, which only made me laugh harder. "Im serious!" Jack giggled. Then he said, "I know you do it. You know I do it. Why do it with Joey?" Eventually regaining some composure, I said, "Until today, I couldnt have answered that question. But Joey held me close, he kissed me several times yesterday and today, he wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him. Stan was never like that. I shouldve seen that he was using me, that he would gossip and spread it around town, eh?" "Yeah, you shouldve." "Joeys not like that. He did me first then I returned the favour. Stan always wanted me to do him first. Then he ignored me at school until he wanted more. Joey kissed me yesterday, thats all. And he still talked with me today. S more than Stan ever did, eh?" Jack nodded but his eyes got angry and he said, "He had better be nice to you tomorrow!" I sighed. No matter how I tried to lessen his fears, Jack wanted to play guardian. I forced myself to watch television with my family that night, though I have no idea what we watched! Joey was in my every thought. Even his name was so cute! It reminded me of a baby kangaroo and he could be just as playful. I liked that a lot. By the time eleven oclock rolled around, my underwear was damp from my constantly leaking erection. Oh, if only he could really be with me, sharing my bed, gently caressing and kissing me until we both made love then fell peacefully to sleep in each others arms. I closed my eyes and imagined him on his bed. He was thinking of me. I was dreaming of him. Finally, I had a reason to wake up in the morning. Joey was nice to me at school the next day. During lunch, I caught him staring at me, scanning my face. It made me blush. Stan couldnt even look at me

10

or speak to me but Joey seemed desperate to memorise my every feature, including my accent.

Two

Comicality comicality@webtv.net

him redoubled. I didn't realize how long we'd been standing there Comicality' until Mr.. Williamson cleared his throat behind me. s Shack out Back "Come on, wash up. Supper is almost on the table." I turned to Inside The answer him, but he gave me the same stare his wife had. Again I Glass couldn't drop my gaze. His eyes pierced my soul, baring everything. Onion I shuddered. (Stories page)

After school, I went over Joeys again. Our faces smashed together the moment we stepped inside his front door. Still swapping air and spit, he led me to his room. We undressed. But Joey didnt have an erection. I immediately asked what was wrong. The idea of supper with Three my family made him nervous. He was way too distracted to have sex so, a first, we lay naked on his bed holding each other and talking. "UmmIve never been out to anyone before," Joey nervously said. Four "How should I act? What do I say? What should I wear?" "Act the same way, say the same things and wear the same clothes," I Five told him. But then a silly picture of him in a tutu crossed my mind and I joked, "Or wear a pink dress and sprinkle confetti around the house?" Wide-eyed and giggling, my boyfriend playfully attacked me, tickling me until I could barely breath! "Youd like that, eh?" he chuckled in a broken Australian accent. After a minute or two of him playfully rambling on, I noticed his erection rubbing against my leg. He smiled down at me while my giggles subsided. Then his magic fingers went to work on my nips again but he never lost eye contact. I could reach his cock but couldnt move my hand very much because we were lying so close. I did what I could though and that was enough for Joey. After we made love, Joey asked me how he might come out to his folks. We talked about that while cleaning up, dressing and most of the way back to my house. Since I didnt come out to my family but was outed, I could only make vague suggestions. The most important things would be his parents reactions, I told him. So he asked if I would have supper at his house over the weekend. That way I could meet his folks and wed both have better ideas. He seemed determined enough to do it but I wouldnt rush him. Rushing into things caused my family and me enough trouble. I didnt want to see it happen again and definitely not to my Joey. Mum practically begged me to slow down a bit any way. I knew that I should but he made my heart and mind race, like barely controlling hysteria. Walking up the path to my house, I said, "Being out dont matter near as much as how you treat me. Take your time, eh?" Then I opened the door and we stepped inside.

The Journeym an

thejourneyman200@yah oo.com

The Eggman

"Dad?" Inside The theeggman61@yahoo.co Glass m Onion He finally broke eye contact and glanced to Robin. "Yes, son?" (Entire site) dewey2k@yahoo.com Dewey's World "Do you mind? We need to wash up." "Oh, yes. Right." He walked back toward the dining room.

Dewey

And If you want to have early notice of a new story being posted, fill out the little form here:

"I hate it when he does that. Mum too." Robin turned on the water and adjusted the temperature." "Does what?" "Gives you the look over, like you're galah or an bogan or something. Ever since they found out I'm gay, they do that to every one of my male friends. Not that I've had many since...." "Galah? Bogan?" "Oh. Galah is like a fool or an idiot. Bogan is like a bloke you don't pay any mind to." Robin shook his head. "I hate it when they do that." "It's okay, Robin," I said, "I understand why." "It's NOT okay. It's RUDE. And they tell US to watch OUR manners." He was obviously furious. Peeking out and down the hall, I saw that we were alone for the moment. I moved behind him, put my arms around his waist, and pulled him to me. I could feel his rear rubbing against my crotch. I started to get an erection. "It's okay, I don't mind. Really." He pushed himself back into me, making me even harder. Robin turned in my arms, reached behind me, and dried his hands on a towel. Then he put his hands around my waist and pulled us together, forcefully. I could feel his erection against mine. He stared into my eyes for a moment, then kissed me lightly. "I love you, Joey." "I love you, too. I really should wash my hands so we can eat." He smiled, and moved so I could get to the sink. A moment later, Jack came down the hall. "What are you guys doing in here, giving each other a wank? Supper's on the table." "Just finished washing up, Jack." Jack answered with a dubious glare. "Right." I dried my hands, and followed Robin and Jack to the table. Mrs. Williamson had really put out a spread. Steak with mashed potatoes and gravy, dinner rolls, a green salad, and steamed corn on the cob. It looked and smelled delicious, and there was plenty of it! We sat down at the table, with Mr. Williamson at the head, Robin and his mother across from each other, and Jack and I across from each other. Robin's dad asked, "Joey? Do you give thanks in your home?" Omigod. What do I say? What's the answer they're looking for? Seeing my discomfiture, he continued, saying. "We aren't much for praying, ourselves, but we do give thanks. Robin, if you would please?" "Thank you for your bounty and grace, Lord. Amen." We echoed his last word, and then we dug in. I wasn't sure what to expect. At my house, it's whoever grabs what gets first choice. Here, it seemed to be a bit more orderly. Mr. Williamson took a piece of beef, then passed the plate to his wife.

Subscribe

Unsubscribe

Subscribe to IOMfAtS Mailing List

You'll get a confirmation, plus the chance to cancel. And I'll never send "embarrassing" stuff to your mailbox. Just news about stories and stuff. This chapter was written by Dewey ----oooOOOooo---Okay, thank you for letting me get through that last bit without interruptions. It's much easier to talk to you without you asking all those questions. Just hold on a minute will you? I need to get some water if you want me to go on. I know, I know. Just gimme a minute. My parents are paying you to listen to me, right? No? You'd think you'd have something else to do, other than listening to me tell you about what happened. You don't? Hmm. You must have a boring life. Hey, don't get all pissy. You want me to go on or not? Okay... where did I leave off? Oh yeah. "I'm home!" Robin called. Jack looked up from the table where he was doing his homework, then went right back to it "Hello, Robin," his mom said as she met us at the door. In a cooler tone, she greeted me. "Hello, Joey." "Hello, Mrs. Williamson. Thank you for having me over for dinner." Her eyes locked onto mine, and I felt like my life lay open before her. I wanted to drop my eyes, to stop her from seeing too much, but I couldn't. "Um, Mum?" "Eh? Oh, sorry. You're certainly welcome, Joey. Supper will be ready in a jiff." "Hi, son. Gidday, Joey. It's nice to meet you." Robin's father was an imposing sight, or at least it seemed to me and the butterflies in my stomach. "N-nice to meet you, too, Mr. Williamson." I thought I heard a snicker from the dining room table, and Robin was glaring at Jack, murder in his eyes. "Go wash up, boys," his mother said. "Jack, set the table please." As we went back to the bathroom, Jack glared and grumbled, but did as his mother asked. What? Jack? Well, he liked to cause us problems, but if it came down to it, he'd be with us. Like him? Yeah, I suppose, in a little brother sort of way. Anyway.... Once in the bathroom, I hugged Robin and kissed him hard, but fast. He smiled, and once again I was lost in his eyes. How beautiful they were. I wanted them to be the first thing I saw in the morning, and the last thing I saw at night. As I lost myself in those green eyes, my love for

If you liked this story, find more at my website http://www.iomfats.org, and from there also link to the Teenage Gay Boy Love Stories Webring where we have gathered authors who write fact and fiction about teenage male romance. And if you are an author yourself, please don't hesitate to go to the Webring Signup page at http://www.iomfats.org/ringmaster.htm and submit your own website for consideration for membership. Our Webring gets in excess of 3,000 hits a week. We must be doing something right! Click here for the list of TGBL Webring Sites [if your browser does not show this link, simply visit my website's links page]. Robin Chapter Five - Questions This story contains explicit descriptions of sexual acts between the characters in it. Although the characters are teenagers who may be below the age of consent in the country or state where this is read, nothing written here should be taken as approval of, or encouragement for, sexual liaisons between people where such liaisons are either illegal, or objectionable for moral reasons. Although this story does not include safe sex practices, it is everyone's own responsibility to themselves and to each other to engage only in PROTECTED SEX. It is a story. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Nothing represented here is based on any fact known to the authors. The story is being written by several authors, each writing a different chapter. It is copyright 2002 by "Its Only Me from Across the Sea" [Chris and Nigel and other stories], by "Comicality" [New Kid in School and other stories], and by The Journeyman [Journey of Love], The Eggman [A New Life], Dewey [For the Love of Pete]. If you copy the story, please leave the credits, and the email and web addresses and entire table below present. Do, please, email the authors with your comments. We all love to receive feedback.

Chapte r

Author

Email Address

Website

One

It's Only It's Only Me Me from from its_onlyme@hotmail.com Across the Across the Sea Sea

11

She had dished up her potatoes, and passed it to Jack, who passed me the green beans, and so on. Once everyone had filled their plate, we started eating together. A few minutes into the meal, the conversation started. I really had been dreading this since Robin had asked me to dinner. I was SO worried I'd say the wrong thing, and that would be it. We wouldn't be allowed to see each other anymore. Of course I was nervous! You would have been, too, knowing that if you gave the wrong answer, you wouldn't be able to see your boyfriend again. Why would you ask a stupid question like that? This was the first time I had to talk to them face to face, and I was scared shitless. Not really. That came later, but dinner was nerve wracking, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. Can I go on? Robin's dad said, "Robin and Jack tell us you're captain of the swim team, eh?" "The junior swim team, sir." "Ah, still, quite an accomplishment. How long have you been swimming?" "In competition? About four years. Two years in a league, and two years in school." "Jack says you're quite good, eh? You must be a real ringer." Mrs. Williamson asked. "I'm not sure about that, ma'am. I just enjoy swimming. It keeps me in shape." "Of course. Do you have any siblings?" "Yes ma'am, a sister. She's nine." Mr. Williamson asked, "What do your parents do, Joey?" "Well, sir, my father is a civil engineer for Palo Alto, and my mom is an accountant for a local tax office." "They spend a lot of time at work, do they?" "Yes, sir." "How do you manage with them not being there, Joey? It seems a lonely life, eh?" I couldn't tell if Mrs. Williamson was criticizing my parents, or if she was sincere in her statement. "I manage just fine. Mom and Dad make it a point to be home on the weekends, and for the most part, they are." What now? Sure, it would have been nice if my parents would have been home more, but the way things worked out, Robin and I liked things just the way they were. Do I resent them being gone while I was a kid? Uh... well, kind of. But I had a lot of friends from school, and swimming. I think I turned out fine. Don't look at me like that! I'm not a serial killer or anything. I should just get up and walk away right now. All right, but no more comments like that. It pisses me off. "Do you watch your sister after school then?" "No, ma'am. She stays at a friends house until Dad picks her up. I have practice, so I can't be home all the time when she is." A short silence settled over the table, until Jack asked me to pass him the potatoes. Gathering my courage, I asked, "Mr. Williamson, Mrs. Williamson, I'd like to invite Robin over for dinner some night this weekend, to properly meet my family. Would that be okay?" They looked at each other, and Robin's dad said, "We'll discuss it." "Thank you." The remainder of dinner was spent in pleasant small talk, them asking me more questions about school and my parents, the history class Robin and I shared, the swimming team schedule, and anything else that came up. Gradually, I relaxed enough to enjoy talking with them. After dinner, Mrs. Williamson served us Kiwi Lime pie with ice cream. I still don't know how I managed to eat all that food, but I did.

Robin and I helped to clear away the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. I was finally in a position to see Robin's face again without straining my neck and being obvious about it. I didn't like what I saw. He was unhappy, and worried. I smiled in reassurance, but the weak smile he gave in return didn't bode well. Just wait! Man, you're impatient! I knew I was in for it when Mr. Williamson sent his sons to their rooms. Robin's eyes clearly expressed the anxiety and fear he was feeling. He knew as well as I this was a make-or-break situation. "Go on, Robin. We're not going to bite him." With great reluctance, he followed his father's instructions, allowing Mr. and Mrs. Williamson to focus their full attention on me. The eagles in my stomach took flight, having replaced the butterflies when Robin and Jack were banished to their rooms. I sat in a recliner, and they sat on the couch opposite me. Mr. Williamson asked, "You know why we're here, in this country, don't you?" I nodded, not trusting my voice. "Then you understand why we're so protective of our children. Robin was hurt very badly. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. That boy raped my son, then raped him again by spreading those vicious rumors about school. He tried to kill himself. You know that, too?" my eyes widened at the thought, and I nodded again, still not trusting my voice. Mrs. Williamson said, "We will not allow a similar situation to occur here. If we think it best, we will forbid him from seeing you. If you hurt a hair on his head...." She left the threat unsaid as her husband patted her arm. Mr. Williamson asked, "What are your intentions toward my son?" "I want Robin as a friend." My voice squeaked, much to my embarrassment. "What kind of friend?" I thought quickly before I responded. "I want him to be my friend, then my best friend. Then... maybe more." "You'll be gay, then?" Suddenly flushed, I nodded slowly. "Are you sure you're gay, and not just wanting to play with Robin's willy for a while?" I blushed even harder. My voice squeaked again as I tried to speak, but after clearing my throat, I regained control and said, "As sure as I can be. I've never wanted to be with girls." I couldn't believe it. Here I was confessing my deepest darkest secret to Robin's parents. "Who all knows you're gay?" "You, Jack, and Robin. That's it." "You don't want to tell your parents?" "No! Not yet. I'm not sure how they'll react. I'm... scared. I really can't believe I'm telling you all this. I wouldn't be, if it weren't for Robin." "You care for him that much, eh?" "I do." They nodded as one, then Mrs. Williamson took over the questioning. "How long have you known you were attracted to boys?" "It seems like forever. Since I became aware of that kind of thing, at least." "Have you ever been with anyone?" I was starting to get angry. That was none of their business. I had to keep my focus on Robin though. I would endure anything for him. "No. Never."

"Why is it so important to you to have Robin as a friend?" I blinked at the change in direction. "A lot of reasons. He's a decent guy, good looking, um, fun to be with, and..." "Go on." "I feel a ... a... special connection with him. I don't know what it is, but it's been there since I first saw him at school. I can't explain it." The two adults looked to one another for a long moment, then Mr. Williamson asked the devastating question: "Do you... love... my son?" I sat there, looking between them, unsure how to answer them. Robin had given me no guidance on how to answer them, either. In an instant, I made up my mind. "I've told you the truth so far, and I'll tell you the truth now. I feel... something strong for Robin. I don't know if it's love. I don't know what it is. But I want to spend every waking moment with him. I want to hold him when he's sad, and laugh with him when he's happy. I won't ever hurt him. Ever. It would kill me if I hurt him. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. And that's the God's honest truth." Surprise colored their faces, and maybe a bit of fear. We stared at each other for the longest time. My eyes were watering with the effort. Mr. Williamson cleared his throat. "Yes, well..., er, thank you for being honest, Joey. We'd like to, um, discuss what you've told us, eh? If you'd say your goodbyes for tonight, then?" Deeply disappointed that I wouldn't get to spend any time with Robin, I said, "Yes, sir," and walked back to Robin's bedroom. The door was closed. I knocked lightly. "Robin? It's me." "Door's open, mate." He stood as I opened the door. Taking in my crestfallen expression, his bottom lip began to quiver. "You're parents have asked me to go home, Robin. They want to talk about what I told them." "And what did you say?" He was actually trembling. "I answered their questions as truthfully as I could. I have no idea what they're thinking." Tears fell down his cheeks, and he threw himself into me. I caught him up in my arms and held him tightly as sobs wracked his frame. My tears were falling on his neck, wetting his shirt. When he spoke, his words were interrupted by the sobs. "I can't (sob) lose you, Jo(sob) Joey. I'll die!" "Hey now! Enough of that! You won't lose me, no matter what, okay? I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere, no matter what they say." Mr. Williamson cleared his throat. "Okay, Joey, time for you to run along home." Knowing full well he had heard what I said, I glared at him to reinforce my words. Robin's dad returned my look with a neutral expression. "Bye, Robin. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" He nodded, and in a choked voice said, "Bye, Joey." His eyes said more. They said, 'I love you.' I smiled and found my own way to the door. How did I feel? Sad. Hopeful. Anxious. Scared. Yes, I was horny too. What is this? You want all the details of my private life? Well, forget it. What's that? Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. I still can't believe I told you about that. No, I'm not gonna tell you! Use your imagination. The walk home went by fast. So much was on my mind. Most of it about Robin. I didn't blame his parents for being wary of me. After all, we'd only known each other for a few days, but I swear, it feet like I knew him for my whole life.

12

I got home about seven. My mom and dad were in the living room watching TV. They seemed surprised to see me. Mom asked, "What are you doing home so early? I didn't expect you until nine." "Well, um, Mr. Williamson wanted to talk with his family. He asked me to leave early."

"Morning, dad. Morning, Mom." She gave me a quick peck on the cheek as she passed me to the pantry. "Do you want hash browns, honey?"

"Hold on. I'll ask." Returning to the kitchen, I said to Dad, "The Williamson's would like me to come over. Can we clean the garage tomorrow?" He looked at me hard. "You know we're going up to Tahoe tomorrow. The snow won't be up there much longer."

"Sure. Do we have any more of that sausage left?" Against hope, I asked, "Can we do it next weekend then?" "Yes. You want some?" "Must have been important, then. Do you know what it was?" "In an omelet, please." "No, Mom," I lied. "Coming right up." "When do we get to meet him, Joey?" "I wanted to invite him to dinner tomorrow night, Dad. Is that okay, Mom?" "I don't see why not. We can have steak and potatoes." I laughed. "That's what we had tonight. It was great, too." "Alright then, what should we have?" "You choose, Mom. I'll ask him tomorrow if there's anything he won't eat. If I can, I'd like to spend the day with him." "Don't forget you have to help me clean out the garage tomorrow." "I didn't. Maybe Robin will help." I shrugged. "If not, then I'll just go over later, or he'll come here. We might go roller blading." "I didn't know you knew how to roller blade." Grinning, I said, "I don't. He's got an old set of blades that'll fit me." "Don't forget pads and a helmet, Joey. You'll have to get those." "Could I have some money for tomorrow?" "I don't see why not. But you have to buy your equipment out of this." Dad handed me two twenties and a ten. "Let me call a shop and see how much it'll be." "I don't know, really, but Mr. Williamson asked me to go." After talking to two shops, I found a set of pads and a helmet for $75. Dad said he'd get me the money tomorrow morning. I could use them for my skateboard too. It was really hard to sit there and watch TV with my folks and sister. I was still agitated from the conversation I'd had with Robin's parents. Did I say the right things? Did I blow it by being straight up with them? I hope not. I really loved that guy. As I thought about Robin, the inevitable happened: I started thinking of the great sex we had, and I got an erection. I excused myself, went to my room, and gave myself some relief, the whole time imagining Robin's hand was bringing me off. It didn't take long, but it was barely quick enough. My dad opened my door to say good night just as I finished cleaning up and put on my shorts. Sometimes, having a hairtrigger can be a good thing. What can I say? I'm teenager. A horny teenager, with a good imagination. Plus, I'd been thinking about Robin that whole night. Are you perving on me? I'd feel better if you moved over there, further away from me. Then stop asking those kind of questions! You need to take a break? Don't mind me. I'll wait while you 'take care of business'. No? Okay then. Saturday morning dawned cold and clear. If Spring was rapidly approaching, it was approaching somewhere else. Between the rain and the fog, it seemed Spring would never come. I got out of bed and threw on my sweats. Mom and Dad were up already, eating breakfast. Beth was still asleep. Bleary eyed, I stumbled into the kitchen. "Good morning, tiger." "Okay. Here's another fifty bucks. Get what you need." "Oh. That's weird." "Wow! Thanks, pop!) I hummed my agreement, and took my plate to the dishwasher. I was half way back to my room to get ready for a shower when the phone rang. Breaking the speed records for land and air at the same time, not to mention several household rules, I got to the phone first. Mom glared at me and shook a finger in rebuke. I nodded and waved her away as I answered. "Hello?" "Gidday, mate." "Robin?" "Yah, who did you bleedin' think it was, eh?" "I was hoping you'd call. How'd things go?" "Why don't you come over and see?" he whispered seductively, then in a normal voice, said, "Mum and Dad want to talk to you again." "Another inquisition?" I moved around the corner for a bit more privacy. "Nah, mate. Nothing like that. Can you come?" "I'd rather you didn't crack open your brain bucket, so I suppose we should get you the right equipment. Have a good time at Robin's." "Dinner will be at six, Joey. Don't be late." "Okay. Later!" I gave Mom and Dad Robin's phone number before I left, at their insistence. It was no skin off my nose. I all but ran to Robin's place, wondering what his parents had to say to me. It had to be good news judging by Robin's voice. I smiled to myself. I'm sure it's good news. Jack answered the door. "Hello, Joey." His face was carefully neutral. I couldn't tell what he was feeling or thinking. "We're in the family room." I shucked my jacket and followed him. Robin was sitting on a loveseat, and his parents were sitting on the couch, where they had last night. Jack took the recliner, leaving me no option but to sit next to Robin. Not that I'm complaining, really. Under the circumstances, it made me nervous. I sat gingerly, but Robin jerked me back and put his arm around my shoulders. Mr. and Mrs. Williamson smiled when I looked at them, Mr. Williamson going as far as giving me a slight nod. Jack still wore an unreadable expression. "You can see our decision, Joey. After speaking with Jack and Robin, and considering what you said last night, we've decided to As I was finishing up breakfast, Beth announced her presence. "I'm hungry!" "Morning, sis." "Morning, Joey. How was dinner with Robin's family?" "It went okay. I had to leave early." "Why?" "Well, not this morning, anyway. Maybe this afternoon?" Yes, I did. I was thinking about Robin. What can I say. Sometimes things... just pop up, and they need to be taken care of. You really ARE perving on me, aren't you. Just as I was leaving, Dad asked, "Are you going to the skate shop today?" "Bye." I hung up the phone, and headed back to take my shower. Dad's 44 years old, and a civil engineer, like I said before. He's worked with Palo Alto as long as I can remember. It's a good job, and pays pretty well, according to him. His name? Of course. Richard. He prefers Rick, though. My Dad's tall, about 6'1", and a little overweight. Comes from sitting at a desk all day, he says. I get my hair and eyes from him. Mom is 40. She looks a bit younger, maybe 37 or 35. She's an accountant, and spent a lot of time at work during tax season. I was surprised to see her home, actually. She says her job is okay, but she'd rather be doing something else. She's about 5'7" or so, and weighs about 135. Her name is Karen. "Me either. See you soon." "Love you, Joey." "Same here." Not wanting him to think I was blowing him off, I said, "I'll tell you more about that later, okay?" "You better believe it, mate!" "See ya soon." Mom and Dad were good people. I don't just say that because I'm their son, either. Their marriage was good, as far as I could tell. I never heard them fight. Neither has Beth, and I've asked her. That doesn't mean they don't.... Why are you asking about them fighting? You trying to put ideas into my head? Stop it. My parents are fine! As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted... again.... "Anytime. Mum and Dad went out to the store and should be back soon. Jack is here, too." "Okay. I'll be over right after I shower." "Can't wait, lover." His voice was quiet, husky. "Okay Dad. Thanks!" Turning back to the phone, I said to Robin, "When do you want me to come over?" Dad frowned. "I don't suppose one weekend will matter. But next Saturday; no excuses!"

13

allow you both to be friends. If more comes of it... we'll deal with that if it happens. "To clarify our position, we're placing a great trust in you, Joey. You have it within your power to expose Robin to the world., and make all of our lives difficult to say the least. We can't afford to move again.. Jack loves it here, as does Robin, but I think his judgment is suspect at the moment." He grinned at Robin and I. "We like it here, too." I cleared my throat. "I would never do anything to hurt Robin, or any of you. I would never tell anyone about Robin. Besides, that would out myself as well, and I'm not ready for that." I looked into Robin's eyes again. "I can't imagine this would happen, but if things don't work out between us, I'll keep my promise to keep your secrets. You have my word." I glanced back at Robin's parents. They were smiling. Jack spoke. "I think I know how Robin feels about you. I like you too, but as a mate, not as a boyfriend. But I have to tell you, if you do anything to hurt us, I will bloody well kill you." "Jack!" Mrs. Williamson was scandalized, but Jack held my gaze until I answered him. "I've given my word. I'll never do anything to consciously hurt him, or you, or your parents." "See that you don't, then we'll all be happy, eh?" He stood in front of me and offered his hand. "Mates?" I stood and shook. He had a firm grip. "Mates." Mr. Williamson shook my hand as well. Mrs. Williamson hugged me and pulled me down so she could kiss my forehead. With that, everyone abandoned Robin and me in the family room. He stood and pulled me to him, kissing me deeply, his tongue darting in and out, probing against mine. "Joey! You're wanted on the phone!" Funny. I didn't hear the phone ring. "Be right there!" Robin smiled hungrily, moving in to continue our liplock, but I stopped him. "Don't move! I'll be right back." I backed away from him, holding a finger up, admonishing him to stay put. I picked up the phone. "Hello?" "Joey?" It was Mom. "We are going down to San Jose for a while. We want to look at some new furniture to replace that old bed of yours, and maybe a desk." "I still want a double." "We'll see what we can find. We should be back in a few hours. Beth is going to stay at Kim's while we're gone. She might stay over." "Okay. See you." "Bye." I hung up the phone and trotted back to the family room, but Robin had moved. I went back to his bedroom and found him sitting on his bed, bouncing slightly, with a broad smile on his face. "Guess what?" "What?" "My parents are gone. They won't be back for a couple hours. Care to come over?" Without shame, he cupped my quickly growing erection in his hand. "You need to ask?" "Let's go." "Let me tell Mum and Dad." He did so while I said my goodbyes as well. Robin promised to be home this afternoon prior to dinner, and then we were off. Duh. Of COURSE we went to my house.. We were both horny. How many times do I have to say it? We're teenagers! You know- hormones and stuff. You should know, as much as you're getting off on MY story.

We all but sprinted the distance from his place to mine. I let us in through the back door, and kissing all the way, made it up to my room.

Subscribe

Unsubscribe

We slowed down a little bit. Robin undressed me, his hands and tongue exploring my body, bringing me to full hardness. I almost lost my legs as he took my dick in his mouth, gently sucking for a few moments, before moving on. I undressed him, and followed his example. Collapsing back onto my bed, our lips never lost contact. Our tongues were dueling back and forth for a second, then exploring each other's mouth. I licked those soft lips, relishing the feel of his tongue on mine. Our hands we're idle, either. I ran my hands over his naked form, through his head, down his neck, over his chest and belly, up his sides, and back down to cup his firm ass. He mimicked my movements. Our breathing had grown ragged, and our stiff cocks proved our excitement. I pushed him, forcing him to lay on his back, giving me full access to his throbbing cock. He wasn't circumcised. His foreskin fascinated me. I jacked him a couple times, skinning his dick as I did so. With a hungry leer, I took him into my mouth, sucking him hard. He moaned and gasped, coming close, but never quite reaching the peak. I stroked my own dick in time with my mouth moving up and down Robin's teenage hardness. He gasped and said, "I'm gonna lose it, mate! Oh, bloody hell! Here it comes!" Spurt after spurt of his juice rocketed down my throat, sweet and salty. I couldn't take it all, and some leaked out of my mouth. "Oh, my GOD!" Whipping around, I saw my mother's face.

Subscribe to IOMfAtS Mailing List

----oooOOOooo---Part One What's that, you ask? Well, of COURSE it was the worst moment of my life! Fer Christ's sake, having your own Mother walking in while you're giving your boyfriend of five days a blowjob. What could possibly be worse than that? Huh? What do you mean what happened then? What do you think happened? We all just went downstairs and had cookies and milk... Yes, I am being sarcastic. How observant of you. Ok, ok, I'll tell you what really happened. My mother just stood there, staring at us. Robin was fumbling desperately to pull his underwear and pants back on from where we had flung them in our horny haste; never mind the sticky goo speckled here and there left over from our activities. Well, yeah, if ya wanna get all technical. MY activity, which produced Robin's goo. You got it all down correctly in your notebook? Good! Has anybody ever told you that you're a real pain in the butt? Yeah. I bet you DO get that all the time! Anyway...Robin was muttering, "Oh my God...oh my God...oh my God..." under his breath as he scrambled awkwardly to put himself back together. He didn't seem to want to look at either one of us. Not even me, and I was trying to help him with his stuff. My mother didn't seem embarrassed at all. She just stood there, ramrod straight and glaring. If looks could kill, I would have been dead meat already. But I still tried to bluster through it a bit. "Mom, please...can you give us a little privacy here?" I was laying on my stomach, looking over my shoulder at her in the doorway, my shiny ass cheeks pointing to the sky. Her eyebrows shot through the ceiling. "Privacy!? Certainly not! It looks like you've both had quite enough privacy for today, young man." Her smoldering gaze shifted from me to poor Robin. "You. Out. Now." And she pointed down the hall toward the stairway leading to the front door. Robin had finally managed to tug his clothes on, although he still looked sort of all tangled up in them, if you know what I mean. I shuffled around in the bedclothes and managed to snag my boxers, pulling them up with what little dignity I could muster. I was too shocked to think about being butt nekkid in front of my mother, so I didn't try to put more back on than just the undies. It wasn't like she'd never seen me that way before. So Robin slouched his way out of the room, ducking reflexively as he passed my Mom, as if expecting a blow. I had been so focused on finding my underwear that his slinking out like that was kind of a shock. He didn't say good-bye to me; he didn't even look at me. He just went. He hadn't given me any support at all. He'd just caved in and fled the scene. Mom's laser beam eyes followed Robin out of the room and we both listened to him leaving the house. The front door clicked shut softly, but the silence in my room was so deep that we could hear every little sound from upstairs. Then she turned to me again. For sure, I was a total goner. I stood up, trying to prepare myself to face the music. "You stay right here. I don't want to see you or talk to you until I've had a chance to think about this and discuss it with your father." "But..." Didn't she even want to know my side of things? Guess not. Not that I had a clue as to what I might have tried to say in my own defense right about then, anyhow! "No buts. No bull. I'm not interested in hearing anything you have to say."

If you liked this story, find more at my website http://www.iomfats.org, and from there also link to the Teenage Gay Boy Love Stories Webring where we have gathered authors who write fact and fiction about teenage male romance. And if you are an author yourself, please don't hesitate to go to the Webring Signup page at http://www.iomfats.org/ringmaster.htm and submit your own website for consideration for membership. Our Webring gets in excess of 3,000 hits a week. We must be doing something right! Click here for the list of TGBL Webring Sites [if your browser does not show this link, simply visit my website's links page]. Robin, Chapter Six - Outed by The Alienist This story contains explicit descriptions of sexual acts between the characters in it. Although the characters are teenagers who may be below the age of consent in the country or state where this is read, nothing written here should be taken as approval of, or encouragement for, sexual liaisons between people where such liaisons are either illegal, or objectionable for moral reasons. Although this story does not include safe sex practices, it is everyone's own responsibility to themselves and to each other to engage only in PROTECTED SEX. It is a story. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Nothing represented here is based on any fact known to the authors. The story is being written by several authors, each writing a different chapter. This chapter is copyright 2002 by "The Alienist". Do, please, email the authors with your comments. We all love to receive feedback. There is a mailing list here for news, among other things, of new stories. To join it or to leave it, please fill out this form:

14

"Can I at least go to the bathroom?" I was trying not to give in as easily as Robin had. It was all I could think of at the moment. What can I tell you? She considered the notion for a moment, her brows furrowed. As if I could do more damage somehow if she gave in even one inch. But she really couldn't deny me that. Soooo..."Yes. One minute. Then directly back here. No nonsense, you hear me?" As I moved past her out into the hallway, her voiced lashed out, "Stop! Turn around. Look at me!" So of course I braced myself and turned to face her again. I tried to focus right at the middle of her forehead. I was too ashamed to look her in the eyes, and too angry to look down in defeat. I wasn't going to concede anything I didn't absolutely have to right then. I may be a faggot, but I have my pride, you know? Her voice cracked out at me in a tone I'd never heard before. "I asked you if you'd heard me. You will answer me when I ask you a question, young man." "Yes. I heard you." My voice was quiet, but defiant. She didn't like that. "You watch your tone. No more warnings about that. Do you understand me?" I sighed, still looking at her forehead. "Yes, I understand you." But I didn't. Not really. Isn't it a mother's job to help out her son in rough situations like this? No, I guess not, not when it's about giving another boy a blowjob. As I reached the shelter of the bathroom, I softly shut the door behind me and locked it securely. What had just happened to me? I had been outed. Five days ago, I had been having a happy little life, doing well enough, thank you very much. I had my swimming; I had my friends. I also had my secret, but it hadn't really been weighing me down too much. Then I fell in love at first sight with a boy I had never seen in my life before. And the next day I had myself a boyfriend. A foreign boyfriend with a history of date rape and suicide attempts. And I had his whole family to contend with. They knew more about me in three days than I had known about myself ever. And I mean ever. Yeah sure, they had ended up being fantastically supportive after the grilling they gave me, but it was still a shocking adjustment to try and make. And then there was the fact that I wasn't a virgin any longer. At least, I think that blowjobs count, don't they, even if we hadn't...ummm, well, you know... Yeah, I thought they counted. Thanks for the input. And now my own mother knew about that. It was almost like I didn't really know myself anymore. It was somebody else's fucked up life taking place here. Weird tangential snippets of thoughts raced through my mind. I stared at myself in the mirror as I washed traces of Robin's cum off my face. I'd never even had my own cum on my face, for God's sake. I'd never tasted it before, even. And I had been so stunned at having to deal with Mom, that all the ecstasy and the newness of the experience had been ripped right out of it for me. I mean, Robin's dick hadn't even finished pulsing when Mom entered the picture. Must have been awful for him too, come to think about it. I might never be able to give anybody another blowjob in my life without worrying about my mother barging in. Talk about your after-shocks! I blinked as a new scenario popped out of my tortured mind. "Yes, Dr. Shrink, sir, I am here to see you because I have developed a blowjob phobia..." Shit. How weird IS all this, anyhow? I lowered the toilet seat lid thingy and slumped down onto it. It was the only seat in the house, after all. I wasn't ready to march like a good little soldier back into my room. Nor was I ready to face the world outside the bathroom, either. I didn't have a clue what should even BE next. My world had just ended in an earthquake of epic proportions. What could I do next? What options did I have? I thought hard for a minute. Well, I suppose I could try to pass it off as teen-age experimentation and bluff my way through it, denying everything else about it. I could imagine the scenario playing out: 'Nope, never done that before, don't know what got into me. Never mind; no idea at all how that nasty old dick got into my mouth. He must have hypnotized me or something. It'll never happen again, no fear of that! Of course, I won't ever see him again, no problem. He's the faggot, not me! In fact I was just thinking this week about how I should go out and get me a girlfriend..."

And that's as far as I got down that road. Not just that it sounded lame and unbelievable. One more compelling reason not to say anything like that surged into my awareness. I couldn't go down the denial and avoidance road because that's pretty much what that other guy had done to Robin before, wasn't it? No, I couldn't do that to him again. Even though I was pissed at him for abandoning me like he had when my mother barged in. What's that you say? How can I be pissed at him? Well, you figure it out, Sherlock. He fled the scene. Vamoosed. Adiosed. Without even a feeble attempt to fight back. Or to help me fight back. Oh, well excuse me for not being totally logical here! Shit man, my life had just about ended, and he walked out on me. In my worst moment ever. That doesn't exactly inspire confidence, ya know? So yeah, I was pissed. Which meant that maybe we were headed toward our first fight, too. Another new thing to experience for the first time. Oh, goodie. The seconds ticked by in my new Fortress of Solitude, the upstairs toilet. What else was there for me to do, then? Only one other option, really. I'll have to tell them the truth and hope for understanding and acceptance. Mom and Dad aren't so bad. Maybe they'll talk to Robin's folks and then they'll adjust and everything will turn out for the best, just like all those schmaltzy Internet stories with rosy happy endings. I won't have to lie. I'll be brave and honest. They'll be shocked at first, but then they'll be fine. They just have to be! I'm their son, after all. Maybe they'll join that parents group I heard about someplace, for people with gay kids. And with that vaguely hopeful thought, I shut the bathroom light off and shuffled quietly back to my room. As my bedroom door clicked shut, I wondered if I should lock it or not. Not. It should have been locked before, but now...Now it might just smack of defiance. I wasn't sure I was ready for defiance. Or anything else for that matter. I fixed the rumpled sheets and blanket on my bed, and flopped down on it to await my fate. I must have dosed, because it was full dark when I came too again with a preemptory knock on the door. It was my Mom, of course. The door opened without any ceremony at all, and once again she didn't wait for me to say it was all right to enter my space. That was a sign of continued rough weather ahead, cuz she had always been pretty good about that before today. I squinted against the glare as she switched the overhead light on without any warning. "Come downstairs and eat dinner. Not a word about any of this in front of your sister. Your father and I have some things to say to you in private after we eat." With that, she turned and went back down the hall. She had been so stern, so icy. Not a smidgeon of warmth in that voice at all, and also not a clue about what was coming afterwards. I heaved a huge sigh, trying to get my hair in order from my nap, and rubbing the sleepers out of my eyes. And then I followed her downstairs, trying to keep my head high. Everything about dinner looked totally normal. Much of the time we didn't eat all together as a family, with busy work and school schedules not matching. So when we were all there, it was usually a semi-formal event. The same place settings, the same plates and glasses and serving dishes were all where they usually were. Everybody sat in their customary seats, Mom and Dad at the head and foot, me and my sister on each side, facing each other. But that was all that was normal. It was dead silent. Nobody was speaking. Nobody was even looking at each other. Well, except for my unfortunate sister. Poor Beth was looking at each one of us in turn, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. "Mom, what's the mat..." but her voice trailed off into silence when Mom shot her one of those icy glares I had gotten upstairs earlier. Beth turned to Dad, with a questioning look, but all he said was, "Let's just eat our dinners, ok, honey? Everybody has had a hard day." And he kept mechanically putting forkfuls of food into his mouth, chewing on autopilot and looking mostly at his plate. I didn't let Beth meet my eyes, either. Who was I to try and break the ice-jam?

"Jeezum crow!" Beth exclaimed under her breath. "What did I do?" Mom replied, "You haven't done anything at all, dear. Don't you worry about anything. These things don't concern you, that's all." "But WHAT things??" Beth wasn't giving in easily. I mean, as far as she was concerned, everything had been hunky dory when they got back home from shopping in San Jose. Then she looked at me. "Gosh, Joey, are you in trouble about something?" I flicked her a warning glance, but then returned to staring at my plate. "Beth! Just eat your meal, please!" Mom's voice could have frozen volcanic lava. "OK, OK, already...but it must be something really, really bad..." Beth didn't really finish her meal, though. After all, something was terribly wrong, and it was obvious that she was being excluded. She mostly just pushed her food around on the plate until the whole ordeal ground to a halt. Nobody else finished eating either. We each helped clear the table and wash up, like a movie with no soundtrack. It was all frosty and automatic, with Beth trying hard to figure out what was suddenly so wrong in her world. I felt bad for her. But I felt worse for myself. Mom dried her hands on a cup towel and turned to me. "Joseph, living room. Beth, to your room and do your homework." "But Mom! I don't have any homework!" "Then read a book. Your father and I are going to have a private talk with your brother, and it doesn't concern you at all." "But, Mom..." "Now, Elizabeth. I don't have time for any nonsense from you! To your room. This instant!" Beth wasn't any more accustomed to being spoken to like that than I had been before today. She turned to Dad, and started to say something to him. But the look she got from him was kind of sad and helpless. So off she trudged, her slight body seeming even smaller than usual, as dejected as she was right then. Attention was then turned onto me, and I was out-numbered now, so I just turned and went into the living room. My parents followed me. I hesitated, not knowing where I should sit. Sure as shit I wasn't going to choose the sofa. I didn't want to have to be on the same piece of furniture as either of them, and was pretty sure they wouldn't want that either. So I chose an over-stuffed chair near the fireplace. It was almost across the whole room from all the other seating possibilities, so I felt a bit safer. Dad sat on one end of the sofa. Mom didn't sit at all. But she did plant herself next to Dad, arms crossed and eyes once again ablaze with fury. "I have informed your father of the events I observed this afternoon." Jesus, it sounded like a police report. This was going to be even worse than I imagined. My father cleared his throat and spoke to me for the first time that whole evening. "So, is this all true, Joey?" I looked up at him and decided to at least try to stand up for myself a little bit. "I don't know what she told you, do I, Dad?" My mother's sharp intake of breath betrayed her indignation. But my father raised his hand in her direction, keeping her quiet for the moment. "Son, she says that when she went into your room, she found you and that new boy, well, she says that you were, ah, were, umm..." and he paused and tried to find words for what he was thinking, and found that he couldn't actually say the words. He looked back at my mother. She sure didn't have any trouble articulating her thoughts, though. Her voice dripped scorn and fury. "Your son was performing oral sex on that other boy, just like I told you. That little pervert was climaxing in your son's mouth. It is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen in my life." Each word was delivered like a stone hurled at me.

15

My father turned back to me and said, "What do you have to say for yourself, son?" Moment of truth. Truth or consequences. Truth or dare. All these phrases and more raced through my mind in an eye-blink. But I had already decided what I wanted to say. "It's not exactly the way she says, Dad. Well, technically it is, yes, but..." My mother began another verbal assault, but my father interrupted her outburst and said, "What do you mean by that, Joey?" "I mean that Robin and I were...ummm, well, together. That part's true. But it wasn't disgusting. It was making love. And it was private. And Mom shouldn't have come into my room without knocking first, just like our rule has always been." That felt a bit better. At least I had gotten it all out. I could look up at them again. And what did I see when I raised my eyes? My mother looking like she was about to burst like Mount St. Helen's. She was flushed bright red, her eyes bulging. I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears, like some cartoon. Her voice was shrill and harsh. "Love? LOVE? NO! Never use that beautiful word and connect it with something as foul, as warped and perverted as what you were doing with that...that...little queer!" My father looked shocked at how forceful she was being, but he didn't argue with her. To think that I had started out hoping that he would help me with her. Not! He just looked back at me and asked, "Joey, have you ever done this before?" Huh? More thoughts raced through my mind. Why was he asking an inane question like that at a time like this? What did it matter if I'd done it MORE than once, when the damage was done already? But the only thing that came out of my mouth was, "No..." My mother's voice whip-lashed out immediately, "Well, thank GOD for that, at least it hasn't become habitual! And you can be very sure that nothing like it will ever happen again, either." My father looked at his wife, and then back at me. He was the man of the house, after all, and he was expected to make sense out of this whole situation. He looked a bit lost at sea, which I took as a good sign. Maybe he hadn't made up his mind what he thought about it all. I decided to concentrate all my efforts on him. I knew I didn't have a prayer with my mother, at least not right then. "Well, Joey, I'm listening. What else do you have to add, then?" The ball was in my court, despite my mother's obvious wish to spout some more vitriol. I took a deep breath and started speaking. "Dad, it's not like she says. Really it's not. It's hard to explain...it's all new to me, too. But I am not a pervert, and neither is Robin. We're gay. We love each other. People who love each other make love. And it's a private thing. Same as between you and Mom." "Richard, how can you just sit there and listen to this garbage? What these two were doing has nothing to do with love. It's pure animal lust. It's filthy and it's sickening. It's also probably criminal. They're underage, aren't they, after all? That...act...is so repulsive I can't imagine anything worse going on under our own roof like that! This nonsense about them being gay and in love is not to be credited, not for one moment!" "Well, dear, what if Joey IS gay? It's a shock to me, too, but if he is what he says he is, then we have to do something about it, surely? Plus the fact that what you saw was unsafe sex. What if this other boy has exposed Joey to HIV or some other sexually transmitted disease? People with these problems need help. He's our son, and we need to help him get over this." I sat up in my chair in dismay and fury. "Hey, wait a minute! Robin didn't expose me to any disease! He would never do that! And another thing: being gay isn't something I need to get over. Everybody knows that nowadays, Dad! This is the 21st century and we live in California, for God's sake! Being gay is just like any other minority. Some people don't like gay people like me...like us...but I am not going to get over this. Not like you mean. You and Mom aren't going to 'get over' being straight, are you?" I blinked as I realized how shocking it was for me to hear those words coming

out of my own mouth like this. So how much more difficult must it be for my parents to hear them? My mother took a deep breath. She was trying to control herself, I thought at first. Maybe a little glimpse of hope. She seemed to gather her thoughts, and turned to my father with a determined air. "Richard, please listen to me." At least she'd stopped shouting. But what came next was worse than the yelling that preceded it. "That pervert has obviously already corrupted our son. He's been influenced way beyond what I at first feared. I had hoped that this was some sort of hideous experiment, some lustful acting out that we could exert discipline about. But you heard him. He's done something horribly depraved. Yet he doesn't even see that it's wrong." Her tone had quieted down, for sure, but it had become more deadly somehow. "Karen, honey, please try and stay calm. He needs to be checked for diseases by a doctor. And I'm sure there are other professionals who can help Joey through this, help him get back on track. There must be something that can be done to correct this awful mess. Let's try not to react with anger. That will surely make things worse, right?" My Dad always tried to be the peacemaker. But this time he failed horribly. Mom wasn't having any of it. And for the first time since this awful muddle began, I found myself in agreement with her. "I don't need to go to any doctor! And you can't make me go to some shrink, Dad!" and "You can't be serious, Richard!" came out of us at the same time. But then we both waited with bated breath to hear what Dad would try next. My father looked at each of us in turn and heaved a hugs sigh. And continuing to look at me, he said, "Of course we can insist that you see a doctor, Joey. You are a minor and must comply with our wishes about your health. Surely you must see that?" I was stunned. Nothing I was saying was making any difference at all. They just weren't listening. "Well, if you make me go, you can't make me talk to them. I'll just refuse to talk." My mother's eyebrows shot up into her forehead and she turned to my father as if to say, "You see?" Dad was still trying to come to some point we would all agree to. Too bad he was failing so miserably, huh? He tried again. "Well, we have to make some sort of plan of action to deal with this. That's all I'm saying, Karen." That's the engineer in dear old Dad, always trying to bring order out of chaos with a step-by-step plan of action. I wasn't doing very well with either of them, was I? Yeah, I know what you mean; they were neither of them on my wavelength, that's for sure. Nothing like all the sweetness and light from Robin's family, that's for damned sure. "Dad, please listen to me for just one minute. It's not what you think. It's not all that bad. I learned in school that something like 10% of everybody is gay or bi or something. I'm not sick and I don't need to go to any doctor. And I am NOT crazy; I don't need help like that. I need you to understand me. Please, Dad...!" My mother had gone quiet again. She didn't want to push my father too far or too fast. And she wasn't disappointed. "No son, this being gay thing isn't normal. I know that's the modern view in many places, but there's plenty of evidence to the contrary as well. I have never been comfortable with that sort of person, and believe me; I have come across some of them in the past. The thought that my own son could be...well, might be...It's just too much. I can't believe it, and I certainly will not accept it." He looked at my Mom again as my stomach sank even further. She looked relieved as she spoke again, saying, "You're right, dear. We need a plan. We need to get into control of this situation." My Mom was playing to my Dad's need to bring order out of turmoil. It was sickening.

They looked at each other as they thought about what to do. They talked only to each other as the ghastly plan was formulated. It was as if I wasn't even in the room any more. I had become the invisible boy. I had stopped being their son whom they loved; I had become a problem that needed sorting. They might even believe that what they were doing was for my own good, but it sure felt different than that to be on the receiving end. I watched and listened in growing horror as the plan was devised and refined between the two of them. Firstly, of course, I was never to have anything to do with Robin again. Other than seeing him in school, which was unavoidable, I was to have no interaction with him at all. I wasn't even to speak to him in the hall. My Mom was delegated to call the Williamson's and inform them of this decision and why. So there was no way that Robin could be spared his parents finding out this newest disaster in his young life. At least this time it wasn't his fault, but that was the only faintly positive spin I could put on it. My anger at him disappeared in a cloud of guilt for causing him all this trouble. My parents were also going to bring me to school first thing tomorrow morning and inform the Principal and other Admin people about the situation, and they were going to be requesting that I be monitored closely at all times. I was not to be trusted alone with any boy. My parents were as worried about my corrupting others as they were about my having been corrupted, and they wanted to prevent any spreading of this contamination in any direction. All of this meant that I was going to be outed to everybody who knew me. My mother's view was that everybody needed to know in order to protect themselves and their children. Shit, they were treating me like I was a convicted child molester with leprosy, for Christ's sake, and the neighborhood had to be alerted about my dangerous presence. It got worse. It also meant no more swim team. Obviously I was never going to be allowed contact with semi-naked young boys in an intimate situation like team sports and showers or changing rooms. No way; off limits for sure. They were going to make an appointment to take me to some sexually transmitted disease specialist as soon as possible. I had never even considered that there might be doctors who specialized in that stuff. My fear of needles and blood drawing paled into insignificance next to the shame and humiliation I was sure to feel sitting in that particular Doctor's office waiting like some criminal for the sentence to be read out. I was to be transported to and from school...and everywhere else, too, of course... by adults in private vehicles. No more walking or riding on my own. They imagined all sorts of occasions for sin and degradation on the school bus and other forms of public transport. So all those unsupervised children were also off limits. I was to be brought home immediately after school. If I needed to stay after for something related to academics, then that would need to be strictly supervised as well. All my free time was to be spent in the presence of a teacher. I blanched as I realized that freedoms I had taken for granted for a long time were now a thing of the past. Through my growing shock and sense of unreality, I continued to try and argue my case before the "Court". I objected that the school might not be willing to agree to all of these restrictions. I was informed that if this school did not comply with their wishes, then they would have to find another institution that would be able to do the job. Their emphasis on the term, "institution" scared the living shit out of me. At home, I would not be allowed to have visitors unless we remained in the same room as one of my parents. I was to have no access to the telephone, and my computer would be brought down to the living room tomorrow as well, so my on-line activities could be monitored at all times. If I wrote or received any letters or emails, they would all be examined by one of my parents. My bedroom door was never to be completely shut at any time, and the lock would be removed tomorrow. Privacy was being sacrificed in favor of the certainty that I would never be able to do anything like what had happened today ever again. Just like my mother had said. If I attempted to break any of the new rules and regulations, I would be immediately sent to one of the "institutions" they had mentioned before, and it was to be my father's job to investigate the options for dealing legally with wayward youth. He looked sad but determined about this and all the other tasks. My mother looked like she had just gone to war. And indeed she had. She was in a battle for control. Control not only over me and all my activities, but control of my whole world as well. Nothing would be over-looked. They didn't say a dozen words directly to me the whole time. It was the worst night of my life. Even worse than being caught with Robin. That paled into insignificance in comparison.

16

I was a goner. Dismissed to my room two hours later, I felt like a criminal in some high security prison, about to start a life sentence. Back in my room, my door carefully shut only half way, I tried to think. It felt like I had just been beaten to a pulp, and I could scarcely breathe. My heart was racing, I had broken out in a cold sweat hours before, and my clothes were soaked with it. I could smell the rank odor of fear coming off me in waves. But I was also angry. Deeply enraged down into my bones. I had no doubt that they would carry out all their plans. I was certain that by the end of the day tomorrow; everybody I knew would have learned everything there was to know about my secret life and today's embarrassing activities and their brutal after-effects. Robin's parents had probably already been called. All right, so be it. This was the hand I had been dealt, and I would have to play. But I wouldn't just play along passively. I wasn't going to be led like some lamb to the slaughter. I knew I was right about myself and about my feelings toward Robin. We loved each other, and there wasn't anything wrong with love. I knew that being gay wasn't evil or immoral. I knew my parents were wrong. I knew I had to fight back. But I also knew that I didn't want to be sent off to some place even worse than home. I knew how few my options were right now, and how little power a kid has when his parents go off the rails like they had. I knew they held most of the cards. So I needed help. And I didn't have much time to find it either. What weapons and tools did I have that I could use to help myself? Well, my bank account for one thing. Just in case, mind you. I made sure that I had the ATM card in my wallet for tomorrow. Lucky for me my parents had gotten me to handle my own savings account. I had almost $1,000 in it, from holiday and birthday presents over the years mostly. Hopefully the rents wouldn't immediately remember that, and give me time to shift the funds to someplace else I could get at them without them blocking it somehow. I know a kid can't open a new account all by himself, but maybe this was something Robin's parents would do for me. What's that you say? Was I thinking about running away at that point? NO WAY! I wasn't going to let them drive me out of my own home, no sir. Besides, every kid nowadays knows what dangers there are in being homeless in the San Francisco Bay area. I had no intention of running away. What else could I use in my own behalf? Well, another very good thing came to mind as my gaze wandered around my room. I had my computer for this one remaining night. After tonight, even that avenue would be closed to me. So, like the child of the Internet that I am, I knew exactly what I needed to do as soon as my parents were asleep. Thank God they didn't remove the computer immediately, and thank God they didn't think to disable my connection either. It was one of the very very few details they had overlooked. They hadn't grown up with the Internet, had they? No, they hadn't. But I had. To make a long story short, that night I sent my pleas for help out into the darkness, like messages in bottles from a sinking ship in an ocean hurricane. I also deleted everything I could think of that might have been even vaguely compromising or objectionable from my computer, buried lots of other stuff under multiple layers of files in odd places my parents would hopefully never know how to access. There was no way they would allow me to have a password they didn't know, but my loving parents would have to hire professional help to find anything on it without my assistance, which needless to say would not be forthcoming. Next, I wrote to Robin, and told him everything that had gone on. I explained all the new restrictions on me, and I tried to tell him how sorry I was about everything, and asking him to understand about what was coming tomorrow. He wouldn't be able to escape being affected by the coming storm any more than I would be. I also begged him to get his parents to help me however they could. I had no idea what they could do, but I needed everybody on my side that I could possibly think of, and they were the first ones on the list. I was hoping and praying that Robin could be strong for me, and not cave in to fears and guilt like he had before. I needed him to be strong for me, that's for damn sure! And everything else I explored and researched that long night, I copied to Robin as well, so he would know what I had attempted and what the risks were if things stayed as bad as they were now. I set up a new Yahoo account so I could be independent of my old server if needed, and if I ever got the chance to be near a computer without supervision again. Or if my "adoring" parents would decide to take the computer away from me altogether, which they could do at any time, of course. I sent that new address to Robin, and decided to use it as much as I needed to in the future to obscure my trail. And then I began my hunt for resources on the Web. I started with a simple Google search for gay youth in San Mateo, Palo Alto, and San Jose. I figured that in the Bay area there must be good help, if I just could find it. I'd lived here all my life, and yet didn't really know anything about gay stuff. I'd never really needed it before, since I hadn't planned

on acting on my secrets. I concentrated on the immediate area, places I could get to easily by the "Cal Train" commuter system and buses if needed. I had never depended on my parents for transportation, since they were always so wrapped up in their jobs and never available to truck me around. So I had always had my trusty multiple-trip ticket cards for Cal Train, and knew the bus routes quite well. It was always amazing to me how many of my suburban peers had never used public transportation, but I liked it. It made me feel free. It was sure as shit going to be an advantage now! Anyhow, I searched for what aid and assistance was available for kids like me. And I wrote letters explaining everything that had happened to me, and everything I was going to face starting tomorrow. I begged for help. Any help. From anywhere. I sent 12 letters in all, giving my full name, address, and school. I warned them all not to try and contact me at home, but to use the new Yahoo account. I also gave each of them Robin's name and email address as well, hoping that he wouldn't mind too much about that breach of his confidentiality. I couldn't help it. I couldn't think of anything else. Then I deleted my history and cookies and all traces of my activities disappeared from my computer. And then I tried to get some sleep. I knew tomorrow would be a living nightmare, and I needed to be prepared. My parents had declared war on me. I was going to fight back. Part Two Have you ever thought about how weird it is to have to sleep with your bedroom door open? To have to get changed and dressed when somebody could walk in on you at any time? Well, take it from me, you have no idea. It's creepy. I was on edge all the time, even though I could usually hear when somebody was coming down the hallway towards my space. I never asked about the bathroom door. I didn't want to have to leave that door open as well! Luckily, nobody objected to my closing and locking the door when I was showering and shitting. I'm pretty sure my mother noticed, though. I heard footsteps outside the door pause for a few heartbeats the first time I was perched on the crapper. And that was just the first 30 minutes of my new day. I couldn't bear the thought of breakfast. So I refused all the meager offerings there were. My Dad tried to make small talk early on, but gave it up pretty quickly when he saw that neither my Mom nor myself was having any of it. Then I was driven in silence to school. My parents had clearly done a lot more talking after they dismissed me last night, and they were ready for the meetings with the school authorities. Those sessions were kind of a blur. I remember the recitation of all the new restrictions. I sort of remember how shocked the school people were to hear what had happened and what the consequences were. I'm sure they tried to reason with my parents, and more than once the idea of family counseling was suggested to try and find more positive ways through the crisis. None of the three of us took them up on their offer of counselors. My parents didn't think it would help, and I wasn't going to sit with them and even try to reason with them any more. I was exhausted and sort of numb. You know the feelings you have in dreams sometime that none of the events are real, but you're there and in them anyhow? Well, that's how I felt. It all seemed like a dreadful nightmare. All my classroom and study hall teachers as well as the swim coach were summoned to speak with the Vice Principal and my parents. They were all gob smacked. Coach Smallwood even came back to the Office and tried to get my folks to change their minds about the Swim Team restriction after he had a few minutes to think about it, bless his heart. But it was all useless. It took several hours before all the gory details were hashed out. Transport arrangements were worked out like I was a load of vegetables being delivered. Guard duty was divvied up amongst my teachers and other school staff. I felt lower than a worm, but I was pissed as hell. By the time my parents left the building (complaining about how long everything had taken and how behind they would each be at work, I might add) it was almost lunch period. Mr. Hingham, the Vice Principal, tried to talk with me after they left, but I wasn't up to much of a conversation right then. I remember that he tried to be kind, though, and said that his door was always open if I wanted to talk. I could barely nod my head in acknowledgement. Then I just went to the cafeteria and

collapsed into a seat in a corner. I still wasn't hungry, as you can imagine. So I just sat there in a daze. The first person I knew who entered the cafeteria was Amy. She scurried over to me, her red hair flying out on every side of her head like an Irish halo. "Hey, where have you been all morning? What's all this I'm hearing about you being some sort of perv and criminal? What's going on? Enquiring minds what to know!" She was intensely interested, but also keeping it light. She started with an ironic and humorous tone, but when all I could muster was a huge sigh, she sobered right up. Obviously, it wasn't taking very long for the rumor-mill to start churning out the latest headlines. Come to that, there were several conversations going on around us. I could tell that they were about me, because there were lots of glances and out-right stares in my direction as kids talked amongst themselves here and there. The next person to enter the cafeteria was Robin. He made my heart jump and sink all at the same time. Weird feeling...I never had that one before. But then, I'd never had a boyfriend that I wasn't allowed to speak to before, either. He made a beeline right to us, ignoring everybody else in the room. Including Amy, to start with. "Hi. How are you doing, mate? I've been sooo worried about you!" He was very intense, very concerned, very focused. He didn't really let me think about an answer, either. He kept on speaking quietly but in a rush as he sat down next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. It was the first time I had been touched since he had left me yesterday. I realized I truly needed that touch, and more. I didn't even care that we were in the middle of a hugely public place. To him, Amy wasn't really at the same table. After all, I was the most important person in his world, certainly much more so than any new female acquaintance. He was just focused on me, is all. It felt really good, like somebody was taking care of me for a change. I loved him even more for that. "I got all your emails, and all the copies of the other letters you sent out last night. Good idea about the new email addy, too. Well done you on that! I showed everything to my parents this morning. Got them up early to go through it all, too! Don't worry about them. They're going to do what they can, and they'll be making some calls of their own today. Jack knows the whole lot, too. Couldn't keep it all from him, really." I just nodded at him. But I did manage to lean into him as he sat there next to me, and found that my hand had grabbed onto his knee as he spoke. But Amy was just about the last person on Earth who would put up with being ignored. "Hello? Earth to Joey! What the fuck is going on here?" Amy looked indignant that there were some obviously momentous events taking place that she hadn't been involved with. "Look, there are all sorts of crazy rumors going around school today. This is NOT your typical Monday morning, is it? What on Earth are you two talking about?" It then became clear to me that she was also resentful of Robin's new place in my world. She was being sidelined by both of us, even though neither of us really intended it. A bit of worry flashed through my mind about what that might mean in the days to come, but I lost track of it in the midst of everything else going on at the moment. I just assumed that because I loved them both, they would sooner or later grow to love each other as well. Well, yes, I was wrong about that. Thanks for highlighting it for me again. Hindsight is 20-20, alright? Jeez. Outwardly I had just blinked at her as she leaned towards us from across the table. I hadn't said a word yet, in fact. I just couldn't start telling the awful tale. After a few awkward seconds, Amy's gaze shifted sourly to Robin and her questions floated wordlessly towards him now. Robin turned slightly to me and asked, "Is it OK for me to tell her, Joey? I think she needs to know, and she might be able to help." "Of COURSE I can help! I've only known him all our lives, you know! Not like some other new arrivals I could mention..." Amy exclaimed, loudly enough to turn heads at near-by tables once again. I nodded my assent. Robin lowered his voice, and said; "Alright already! I didn't mean anything dire. Keep your voice down, can you please?" Amy blinked in surprise. It wasn't often that she got shushed like that. But she did seem to calm down a bit. Robin continued, "I don't know how long they'll let me sit here with Joey like this. We aren't supposed to have any contact with each other at all. But I think the Cafeteria monitors haven't gotten the word about that yet, so we're in luck. The roos must be watching over us today in some small things, at least." We both raised our eyebrows questioning that last reference, but he simply shrugged it off as some Australian thing.

17

"Amy, we're gay." She blinked hard in astonishment, but gathered herself together rapidly, and replied, "I sooo knew that." I sat up and retorted, "You did not!"

"And that would stand for what, exactly?" "Gay and Lesbian Teen Intervention Program. It's right here in San Mateo, too. Their website says they have free services to anybody in the whole County." "Cool. I want to go with you when you visit them. Anyplace else?"

"I don't know. I didn't do a search for those. I hope we don't need them. I wanna try these places first, ok?" The reality of the situation came crashing down on all of us once again. But I felt better enough to choke down a few mouthfuls of school lunch. Just don't ask me to identify what the 'mystery meat of the day' might have been. Lunch finished with Amy and Robin continuing to pay far more attention to me than to each other. I hoped that would end pretty soon, and made a note to myself to try and get Robin to cut her some more slack until she got used to us as being together. My first class after lunch was always Mr. Carstairs and the wonderful world of civics and social studies. Stuff like how government worked, current event projects out of the newspapers, and like that. But don't get me wrong, I liked this class. It was way more interesting than history and English, or (God forbid!) anything to do with math or science. Plus I got B's in this class, for about the same amount of effort that got me C's in other courses, because Mr. Carstairs was a well-known "nice guy". I hadn't really ever talked to him, but I hoped that now that he knew all about me from this morning's meetings, that he would stay nice. Maybe I could become a real live term paper for somebody, all about repression and human rights. Yeah, sure. Well, hey, YOU'RE here studying me, aren't you? You're not studying me? Oh, right, I forgot. OK, then, be that way. I timed my entrance to be right at the bell, so nobody would have a chance to talk to me...or about me... while I had to listen to it. I slouched into my usual seat, trying to be invisible. But as Mr. Carstairs started the class, I could feel him looking at me more intently than usual, though. So much for being invisible. But he didn't call on me or focus on me any more than anybody else during the class. The time passed, with me continuing in my daze. I couldn't tell you anything about what the class was about that day. Yeah, even more than usual, wise-mouth. Why am I putting up with you and your sarcasm? What? Well, that's true, now that you mention it, I haven't caught you perving on me in a while, at least. Thank God for small mercies. But right at the end of the class, as everybody was shuffling their books and papers together into carrying piles or backpacks, Mr. Carstairs said, "Joey, would you please stay for a minute? I'd like to have a word with you." Everybody around me heard that, of course, and the heads whipping around towards me and the eyebrows being raised caused a little breeze, I swear. So of course, I waited for the room to empty, shuffling an imaginary dust ball on the floor while Mr. Carstairs quietly organized his desk for the next period. Then he went and shut the door and locked it. "What now...?" I thought to myself. But he smiled re-assuringly as he came back toward me. "Just to give us a moment of privacy before the next invasion." He said. ""Sit!" But it was an invitation, not a command. I slumped into the chair nearest his desk, and he came around to plunk himself onto the desktop. His khaki-covered leg started to swing a bit from side to side. It was a habit I'd noticed before. It was calming in a weird sort of way. He looked at me expectantly, but I wasn't about to start first; not after the day I'd had so far. He smiled gently again. "Well, you know they've told all of your teachers the current situation, right?" I nodded at him dejectedly. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm here to help however I can." I hadn't heard much of that from an adult recently. Not that wasn't just a polite platitude. Both Coach Smallwood and Mr. Hingham had said the same thing, but there wasn't anything they could do so far. So I asked, "What can you do to help?" "I'm not sure. You tell me." "Look, Mr. Carstairs, you sound like you mean well. But I haven't got a clue about how anybody can help me." I wasn't going to trust him right off with the secret resistance efforts I had begun last night, that's for sure. "Joey, I'm sure that everything seems pretty dark and dismal right now. But there will be some people who will understand you, and some will want to help you. Other people have gotten through similar situations in their past. You might be able to learn from their experience. If you trust them enough to let them help you, that is."

"Did too. Not for a long time maybe, but ever since you started mooning over cutie face here, it was pretty obvious. My gaydar is pretty well developed. Lots of girls have that, ya know!" She looked smug and pretty pleased with herself at that point. Yes, it WAS a bit irritating. She was being waaay bitchy all of a sudden. I was beginning to get the jealousy part, loud and clear. "So are you guys boyfriends now, or what?" Robin continued speaking for us. And he proceeded to tell Amy everything. He was also trying to be charming, too. He could see that there were ruffled feathers here that needed tending to. So he didn't leave out any details. Amy was fascinated, despite herself. And not bothered at all by the fact that we were two boys. That simply made us all the more exotic to her, and she loved that part of it. Everybody likes to hear juicy tidbits about other people's sex lives, too, I suppose. Even though she was practically green with envy, she was also pleased as punch at being in on the newly established underground movement to provide me with aid and support. And she was more than indignant at the new repressive regime laid down by my parents. Choice names were applied to them, that's for sure. It felt amazingly good to have one more person on my side. And Amy was the kind of person that was going to turn into a fierce one-girl army. Kind of my personal bodyguard. Just call her Zena, Warrior Princess. I liked the idea, and smiled to myself. "So who all did you write to asking for help? What's that about?" she asked I organized my thoughts for a minute as she anxiously awaited my response. "Have you ever heard of GSA's?" She looked blank for a second, but then said, "Of COURSE I have, silly. It stands for Gay... something... something, right?" Hah! She never could admit to not knowing anything. I loved her for that little trait, too. "Right you are, Zena!" said Robin. Wow, he really WAS reading my mind! She scowled at the name, but she had been the first one to call Robin a name, after all. I giggled and corrected her. "Gay Straight Alliances. Clubs at some of the High Schools around here. Not ours, unfortunately. But the kids who are members of them might be able to help us. And their advising teachers as well, maybe." "Which schools have them?" Amy asked, enthralled at the idea. "Well, Mills has one, up in Millbrae. That's practically next door to us. Hillsdale has one right here in San Mateo. And Menlo has one too, you know that private school in Atherton?" Amy nodded, and said, "Yeah, the boys there have really sexy uniforms." Robin shushed her again, and she flounced her hair and said, "Whatever!" Robin continued, "And there's something called the Bay Area GSA Network. That sounds really good. We had nothing like it in Australia, let me tell you! You sent an email to them, too, right, Joey?" I nodded affirmatively. Amy thought for a minute. "But wait. Maybe other schools won't be allowed to interfere in something out of their jurisdiction. They're just kids like us, right? Did you find any adults who can help?" Robin clapped me on the back and beamed, "Yep. Our Sherlock Holmes here found us a passel of other places, didn't you?" Amy looked at my boyfriend funny, and asked, "Passel? What's a passel? Is that some Australian word?" "Well, so much for my cowboy imitation, there, pardner. Nope, that thar word is pure Amur-can." Robin drawled in a bad Southern accent. You had to love him. I did, anyhow. Amy just rolled her eyes in annoyance. I was beginning to feel better. The normal teenage banter was helping me "Yeah, pardner..." and wiggled my eyebrows at my two best friends archly. But I needed to get back to business as well. "I found someplace called GALTIP."

"Yup. Down in Palo Alto, something called Outlet Support Services. Since my Dad works down there, maybe they'll be useful. And in Redwood City there's a Youth Health Center with a "Sexual Identity Forum" we might want to check out." Amy didn't have to think about that one for long. "Cool! But I'm not riding on the train all the way down there...we gotta get a real ride like civilized people, alright?" I snorted. "Yeah, like public transportation will hurt you. It's all of 20 minutes from here. If it was a mall you wouldn't mind!" "OK, ok, you got me there. If we can go to the mall after the meeting..." I moved right along, ignoring her possibly genetic need to shop at every conceivable opportunity. I didn't want to give Robin any ammunition to get her with right now. "There's also a Church in Redwood that got listed as being gay-friendly." I added, proud of my search efforts. "What, a gay church? I read about that one someplace. Metropolitan Community something-or-other. I can look it up if you want..." Amy said. "Nope, this one isn't one of those, although we can use all the help we can find, so check it out for sure. This one is Episcopalian, the same as just elected that new gay bishop." Robin and Amy said, "Cool!" at exactly the same moment. Robin got serious. "What if we aren't able to get to all these places, Joey?" "I thought of that already. There's a telephone Helpline in Mountain View, and that's a local call from here. We'll try them later on." "Good on ya, mate," Robin said, and added, "That wasn't all the emails you sent, was it, though?" "Nope. I also wrote to that group for parents of gay kids. I think your parents should follow that one up right away soon." Amy said, "Oh! I've heard of them. I saw them on the news once. What's their name?" "PFLAG. Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays." I answered her primly, pleased to have done my homework so well. Robin said, "Great. Where do they meet? I know you told me that in your email, but I forget." "Here in San Mateo, every second Monday of the month. They meet at the Methodist Church over on 36th and Hacienda. They also meet in San Jose, Gilroy, and Sunnyvale. Want their phone numbers?" "Jeez, you got all that on one Google search?" Amy was impressed. Well, I was, too. "Well, actually, there's this one site called QueerAmerica from an organization set up to help gay kids all over the country. I just entered our area code and zip code, and they came up with the list. It was kind of cool." Amy thought for another moment. "Hey, are there any, like, social services places we can call and complain about your parents? Maybe what they're doing is abuse, ya know?" They both looked at me.

18

"Similar situations? People like me?" It was a logical thought, of course, and I was hoping that some of the organizations I'd found on the Internet could help. But I hadn't gone the next step in my head and really considered that there were other people out in the world who were like me. Other than Robin, of course. Mr. Carstairs nodded affirmatively. But right then I needed some concrete guarantee. I was sick of 'maybe' already, that's for sure. "Like who, for instance?" I admit it. I was exhausted, I was stressed. I didn't want to play guessing games, even if he meant well. If he wanted to help, he could at least be clear and concrete. So, yeah, I challenged him a little. Just to see if he'd stick around. Mr. Carstairs looked down at the brown suede Rockport's that went along with his khaki slacks so well, thinking for a moment. Then he seemed to decide something inside himself and looked up at me again. "Like me, for instance." That made me blink. Hard. He was like me? "What do you mean?" It wasn't brilliant, but it was all I could manage. Get off my back, already! "Joey, I mean that I am like you. Gay." "You're gay? Did your parents ever walk in on you while you were with your boyfriend?" "No. They didn't need to. They threw me out before there was ever any evidence like that. When I was 17. I've been on my own ever since." "No shit..." I was amazed that he was telling me this. It must be against all sorts of school rules. "No shit." He echoed grimly. "It's a tough thing. A very tough thing. But I got through it. And so can you. I had some good help, and I don't mean to stand by and watch it happen all over again to somebody else. So, as I said. I'm here to help." "Gosh, Mr. Carstairs, I don't know what to say..." "Don't worry about it. We'll take this one day at a time for now. Here, keep this. Any time you need me, make sure you call me. Or come. Whatever you need." He handed me a neatly printed card with his home address, phone numbers, and email address on it. "Umm, ok, thanks...But are you sure you're allowed to do this? I don't want to get you in trouble or anything." "Yeah, it might look bad to some people, so keep it to yourself as much as you can. I'll trust whomever you trust about it. But it's only against the law for me to hit you, or to hit ON you. Which I'm not going to do, because you're too young for me, ok?" He said that with a bit of a grin, so I knew he was serious, but also that he was trying to be re-assuring again. He was really nice. Or did I say that already? Shut up. You just keep taking your notes and try not to talk too much, ok? Ok. Stop laughing! I mean it! I decided to trust him with my other big secret. "I sent some emails to some organizations last night. My boyfriend Robin and his parents are going to try and help me, too. But I could sure use you on my team. So thanks again, Mr. Carstairs." There were some people starting to knock on the door and rattle the knob. Nodding in that direction, Mr. Carstairs said, "The natives are getting restless. Git! I'll be sure to stay by the phone and all that." So I left, kind of walking on air. Talk about ups and downs! I felt like I had been on some cosmic elevator for about a year. Even though nothing remarkable happened in the last two periods of school that day, the walking on air feeling didn't last long. Why was that, you ask? Duh. Have you ever been the only recently outed gay kid in an entire High School before? You have, huh? No shit? So you're gay, too? Don't just sit there and smile at me all smug like that! Why didn't you tell me that before? Oh, I see. I never asked. What kind of lame excuse is that?

Well, then you know perfectly well why my good feeling didn't last long, fer Christ's sake. I felt like I was under a microscope. Every place I went, people stopped what they were doing and stared at me. And I mean everywhere and everybody. It was like that old E.F. Hutton commercial, where a business dude walks into a room and everybody freezes to see what he'll do or say. And it wasn't just in my own classes or with kids from my year. It's amazing how fast juicy news gets around a school, huh? Some people looked at me like I had suddenly begun to small bad. They were the worst. The ones who quickly looked away or gave me three times the space I actually needed to pass also bugged me. But, as Mr. Carstairs had said, there were a few who kept eye contact, and who were trying to tell me they were on our side somehow. At least that's what I hoped, because nobody actually spoke directly to me at all. Nobody wanted to be seen getting too close to the newly famous fag, I guess. It made me wonder what Robin was having to go through, being a new kid in school in addition to being famous all of a sudden. Alright, infamous, then. And after school, there was the memorable visit to the Doctor's. My mother accompanied me right into the examination room, which she hadn't done since I was about eleven years old, I swear. Need I say more? I had to strip entirely; he didn't even let me keep my boxers on. This creepy old dude feeling me up for what seemed like hours, and inspecting everything waay up close and personal. And no, I did NOT get hard, you wise ass. Just the opposite, in fact. He even had this little tiny comb and went through what pubes I have, which isn't all that much yet. Said he was looking for creepy crawlies, like Robin was some dirty scumbag who never washed himself ever. Then I had blood taken, and they used one of the biggest needles I'd ever seen. They made me pee into a cup, but at least I could do that alone in the toilet. They stuck a cotton swab up my piss slit to check for diseases they couldn't find in blood samples. That was a real thrill, let me tell you. When I saw what the man was about to do, my dick tried to crawl completely up into my abdomen. And no, it didn't work. He just grabbed onto it roughly at the base and stuck the swab up inside. It felt like he was rotating a piece of jagged glass up there, and it didn't seem like he was all that bothered to be careful. Maybe my mother paid him extra to ensure that it was part of the punishment for my crimes. My dick was sore for the next 2 days. When we got home, it was the same silent and awkward time as it had been the day before. I got to my room, and found that my computer was gone. They told me at dinner that it was too much of a risk to actually let me use it, even if it was downstairs in the living room. They said I could use the Mac in their room if I had homework to do. I was seriously outraged, and tried to argue. But it was no use. In fact, I can't think of even one argument with either of my parents that I actually won in those early days of our war. My poor sister was still completely in the dark about what was wrong with all of us. I began to think that I should tell her everything, just so she stopped worrying. Jack called, saying only that he was a friend on the Swim Team. He told me later that he'd tried to cover up his Australian accent, just to be sure. But even though I doubt that my parents didn't make the connection about him being Robin's brother, I wasn't allowed to speak to him. It was a nice try, though. Amy called. My mother didn't let me talk to her either, even though she had met her before and there shouldn't have been any worries about gay boys trying to get to me through her...or me to them. I could tell that my Dad felt bad about that, but he didn't try to control my mother. It became clear to me that the plan was to keep me isolated as much as possible from the rest of the world. If my mother had anything to do with it, I would be forced to be pure because I was untouched and untouchable. After an evening that seemed like it was about a week long, I got tired of staring at the TV shows my folks were watching and went to bed. With the door partly open, of course. I tried to comfort myself by creating an image of Robin's smiling face in my mind, and that helped a bit. The next two weeks seemed to stretch into infinity, and everything got worse. I kept telling myself that it couldn't possibly GET any worse, but it did. I managed to give Robin the password to my new Yahoo account so he could check for messages from the organizations I'd sent

to for help. And I had assumed that we would find places to spend some time together to work on everything, and for him to tell me what was going on. But he wasn't able to, not even one time after that Monday lunch. The teachers were all eagle-eyed and vigilant, preventing even the most casual-seeming contact. Even the lunchroom staff got pulled into it, and so I just started eating by myself off in a corner, like the school leper. I could tell that some of the teachers and staff were sympathetic from the looks of concern on their faces, but they weren't in any position to help. I found out later from Mr. Carstairs that the Administration was all worried about my parents filing a lawsuit if they didn't comply with the new rules. I talked to Mr. Carstairs for a few minutes after class every day. It was the only friendly contact I was able to maintain. He tried to keep my spirits up. He told me more about GSA's and what they did. He said he'd found some websites with information about how to start one in our school. But when I asked him if he was going to help get it organized, or even maybe become the faculty advisor, he hemmed and hawed. He was willing to go to bat for me personally behind the scenes and in emergencies, but he wasn't ready to step into the limelight that much. He knew he was really disappointing me, but the most he would do was ask other teachers if they'd be willing. Let's just say that there wasn't exactly a line of interested applicants forming at the door. Amy said that Robin wasn't telling her much about developments in the PFLAG department, or any of the other places I'd contacted either. The more time those two spent together, the worse they got along. I guess having me in common as best friends continued to make things frosty. They were so jealous of each other that nothing else ever got attended to, if you can believe that shit. I wanted to tell them both to grow up and get with the program, but I never really had the chance. On the third day, I told my sister what was going on and why. I couldn't believe that my parents had such little regard for the well being of their other child, but they had kept saying that it wasn't any of her business. She was just a little girl, so she really didn't know what to say about me or what they were doing to me. She just got depressed too, because things were so miserable at home. It was sweet how she tried to make me feel better by hugging me more often than she had before. But we could both tell that Mom hadn't liked my telling her about the situation. Weekends were the worst. Without even the minimal distraction of school's nazi-like regime, time crawled by like molasses in January. By the beginning of the second week, I was fed up with everything. It felt like I didn't have a friend left in the world, and my boyfriend was becoming a fading memory. I know that seems like I'm a real drama queen, but I was actually that isolated. You have to understand that I felt like I was living inside a bubble. It was transparent, and everybody could see me. But at the same time, I had no privacy, and everybody in the world knew everything about my life. I had no real contact with anyone. Nobody came out fighting for me, at least not at first. If people were doing anything on my behalf, I didn't know about it. No information came to me. I was that cut off. I tried to figure out a way to use the telephone to call the Helpline I'd found in my first Google search. But I wasn't allowed to call anybody, and my Mom had turned into a really effective concentration camp guard. She seemed able to tell whenever I was going to try something. I had taken it for granted that I could use the public phones at school as an alternative, but all three of those were out of order all the time. Damn! Nothing was working. Nobody was even passing me any notes, for God's sake. I had hoped initially that Robin and Amy and Robin's family would come riding to the rescue. I was sure as shit dependent on all of them to get me out of the trap I was in. And I didn't see them doing anything at all. That was perhaps the worst feeling of the lot. Being abandoned by family was one thing, but I was getting used to thinking of them as the enemy. But being abandoned by your boyfriend and all your other supports was even worse. I just couldn't understand it, and nobody was providing any explanations. And so, like any living thing deprived of oxygen and other supplies vital to life, I began to lose strength. Everything sort of blurred into a gray featureless existence. I know now that I was getting more and more depressed. But at the time, it felt like I was running out of getup-and-go to do anything. I know I was still angry, and that I still wanted to fight for my right to be myself and be with the boy I loved. All that was still in me, way down deep. But I couldn't seem to reach it like I had in the first day or two, not all by myself. And then there was finally the day that I didn't speak at all. It wasn't intentional. I didn't get up that morning and plan not to speak all day. I just couldn't think of anything that I wanted to say. And somehow I couldn't muster the energy to reply when anybody else spoke to me, either. It all seemed so pointless. It was that first "silent day" that I stopped visiting with Mr. Carstairs, too. I just

19

shuffled out of class with the rest of the herd. Maybe he was surprised, but he didn't stop me, either. Was I on strike, you ask? Maybe. I never thought of it like that. But whatever it was, it just went on the same way after the first day. That first day of silence became the second one. And then the third. And so it went, and it seemed like forever. If you liked this story, find more at my website http://iomfats.org, and from there also link to the Teenage Gay Boy Love Stories Webring where we have gathered authors who write fact and fiction about teenage male romance. And if you are an author yourself, please don't hesitate to go to the Webring Signup page and submit your own website for consideration for membership. Our Webring gets in excess of 3,000 hits a week. We must be doing something right! Click here for the list of TGBL Webring Sites. Robin, Chapter 7 - "You Have a Problem With It?" by Grasshopper This story contains explicit descriptions of sexual acts between the characters in it. Although the characters are teenagers who may be below the age of consent in the country or state where this is read, nothing written here should be taken as approval of, or encouragement for, sexual liaisons between people where such liaisons are either illegal, or objectionable for moral reasons. Although this story does not include safe sex practices, it is everyone's own responsibility to themselves and to each other to engage only in PROTECTED SEX. It is a story. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Nothing represented here is based on any fact known to the authors. The story is being written by several authors, each writing a different chapter. This chapter is copyright 2002 by by Grasshopper. Do, please, email the authors with your comments. We all love to receive feedback. There is a mailing list here for news, among other things, of new stories. To join it or to leave it, please fill out this form:

I climbed off my rumpled bed and peered out into the dark. Jack's cute little face peered back, his mouth set as he grasped tightly to the trellis that was none too sturdy. "Let me in, jerkoff." Um........that did not make me want to open the window, smile or anything. Little shit! No one cared about me anyway. But, he WAS Robin's brother and I DID want to kinda.......sorta.......wanna know how my ex...doesn't love me...left me here to rot..........boyfriend was. Jack hoisted himself up and flung through the window, falling on the carpet with a huff. I walked back to my bed of many sorrows, lay down, leaned back against the headboard, crossed my ankles, sighed and waited. It didn't take long. Whispering, Jack crawled over to the side of the bed and sat, Indian style beside me. "It's like getting' into Alcatraz, man." I sat still, glaring straight ahead, my silence absolute.

thought along these new lines, I realized I was ashamed of my parents, ashamed that all the years we'd 'known' each other and I'd idolized them, they were narrow minded bigots; my mom much worse for her inability to accept anything outside her POV but my dad was weak. I knew he was just trying to keep the peace but at what price? I'm his son, God Damn It! "I'm sorry," I said. "I'm not who you need to say that to, am I?" Jack asked. I knew he was right. All the GALTIP and PFLAG groups in the world couldn't help me until I stood up a little stronger. They couldn't come take me out of here; change my parent's thinking. That would only come in time.....if ever. I heard footsteps coming down the hall. Shoving at Jack, he rolled under the bed and we both lay still, hearts beating little drummer boy fast. I could feel giggles, you know that kind you just CAN'T have, like in church or at a funeral, welling up inside me. I bit my lip and looked toward the open door. "Go to sleep," my dad said into the darkened room.

"Oh, still doin' the ziplip thing, eh? Well, I've got stuff to say and you can sit there and sulk if you want. No skin off me." He whispered through the gloom, "Robin misses you so much. He cries all the time. I told him you'd hurt him, remember? I told him but would he listen? Noooooo! He had to be in luuuv. Part of me just wants to beat the shit out of you for lookin' at him, for touchin' him. You sit here thinkin' you're all hurt and nobody loves you and the world hates you. What about Robin? He's still out there....dealin' with it. Dealin' with what happened. He still goes to school. The kids don't mess with you cause they're scared of the teachers but they're messin' with him. Everyday, he comes home torn and dirty, scared and lost. All because of YOU! Have you even thought about what he's goin' through? We can't move again. I can only fight his battles so many times. Where are you when he needs you?" He stopped to gasp a quick breath. Shit! In all this, I hadn't thought about what was happening to Robin. All I had done was had a huge pity party for Joey. If I went to school every day and the kids acted like I had a nasty disease and they wouldn't talk to me or even use the john when I was in there, what must they be doin' to Robin? He was so shy and gentle. I don't shit off anybody, but Robin.........Shit! Apparently Jack got his second wind and it was still blowing hot. "What happened to that cocky guy who only wanted to love my brother? The one who told my parents he would never hurt him? Damn! This all just sucks, man." Okay.......Joseph Andersson knows when to shut up and he knows when to talk. This was talking time. "Jack," I croaked, my voice brittle, "How is he?" Jack looked at me as if making up his mind, "He's hangin' in there. But he needs you, Joey. He's scared all the time." I know this didn't change my impossible situation at all, not one iota, but it did kinda swerve my brain. You know, you're born and you're handed your life. It's like one of those plastic food trays in the school cafeteria with all the little different sized holes. Have you ever noticed the one with the little circle inside the square? It's for a glass but they hand you a square milk carton. That's what being gay is like. You can fill all the holes in your tray with the things in your life that make you who you are but there's that one space where 'hetero' is supposed to fit but 'homo' doesn't quite make it. I guess it's that 'homo'genized milk. I wanted to crush that carton into that circle but it was never gonna happen. My mother was trying her best to squish that carton in there but it was just gonna explode in her face. You take what ya got and ya run with it. I had to make decisions and I had to get out of this house. My mom may have decided that I had had some kind of brain fart and was changed overnight into a perverted little nancy boy but I knew better. I'd known for a long time and Robin had just made me act on it. Sucking his sweet dick into my mouth had just changed the rules for me. All the bets were off ! My mind cleared in that moment. Jack must have thought I was nuts but I sat up and the gears in my brain started churnin' overtime. I would NOT run away. I needed to help Robin. I needed to be myself. Was I ashamed of who I am? I thought carefully...........NO! The more I

"How do you know I'm not?" I shot back. He stood quietly, his mouth opening to say something, then he sighed and whispered, "I never wanted it to be this way. Can't you just say it was all a mistake? That he forced you to do it? Your mom might accept that." I felt sorry for him in that moment, trying to walk a fence, balanced, not wanting to fall either way. It must be hard wanting everything and being too weak to hold out his hand to his son. But............... "Go to bed, Dad." I would never forgive that weakness. He sighed again, a very lonely sound and walked away. Jack scrambled out from under and snorted back a laugh. "I never thought I'd be hidin' under some bloke's bed. A girl maybe." "I need you to do somethin' for me. Two things, really," I said as he climbed up on his knees by the bed. "If I can and if one of them is something for Robin." "Yeah. Tell him I'm sorry for being a selfish creep. I was so into 'me' that I forgot about him." I looked shamefacedly at his brother. "That won't happen again." Jack hesitated and then slipped a folded note out of his pocket. "I guess you can have this." He handed me the note as I got up and headed for my desk. I laid the folded paper carefully on my empty computer space and ripped a piece of notebook paper out of a spiral binder, the wiggly ragged edges falling all over. "This is my Aunt Charlene's address and phone number. She's my mother's older sister. She's always been good to me and Beth. She's the only person who's ever yelled at my mom and gotten away with it. Take her this note and tell her whatever you need to, to get me out of here." I scribbled, "Aunt Char, I need your help really bad. Please come!! Joey" I almost laughed, picturing R2D2 and Princess Doughnut Hair and the message, "Help me, Obi Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope" only it wasn't at all funny. She just might be my only hope. Jack stared at the paper and then back at me. "K, mate. My dad'll take it. We'll do what we can." He stood for a second looking at me, and finally, a weird look on his face, he hugged my shoulders. "From Rob," he muttered and shot out that window before I could get the surprised look off my face. I climbed back on my bed, knowing nothing was different but yet kinda, everything was. I flipped on the little light by my bed and unfolded Robin's note: Dear Joey, You're the bravest boy I know. I miss you so much. Please don't forget about me. Love, Your Robin

Subscribe

Unsubscribe

Subscribe to IOMfAtS Mailing List

----oooOOOooo---Silence is weird..........when you get real quiet, all of a sudden, there's this bizarre music, kinda techo/retro, playing in your ears. It's like your head saying, "Okay buster, you may wanna shut up but I'm gonna keep all the wheels turnin' in here." I had nothin' to say. My Mom had morphed into the shebeast from the third level of Hell; my dad had shrunk in my eyes to the size of a tiny wimpoid; and my boyfriend, the boy I'd said 'I love you' to not three weeks ago had totally deserted me. I had entered the gay door of the Twilight Zone, you know, the one marked with the "invisible" sign. I would just lay here on my bed, in my dark room and rot. The stench alone would finally clue my parents in that I was no longer a problem; their 15 year old social pariah. I could still hear my mom's voice as she spewed out, "Your son was performing oral sex on that other boy. That little pervert was climaxing in your son's mouth." And the worst part, save me from all perversion, I was hard just thinkin' about it. Sweet little Robin, all soft and scared and hot, burning my skin, pulsing shot after shot in my very willing mouth. 'Yep, Mom, I was doin' just what you said and I was LOVIN' it." Lost in my yucked up thoughts of anger and desolation and finality at age 15, my mind turned down the clutter music and began to function. Tap! Tap! Tap! This little sound broke through my Eyorian cloud and popped my eyes open. Either the parents from hell had set huge wharf rats to come in and devour me or someone was tapping on my window. I giggled, picturing a raven ,beady eyes and all, screeching 'Nevermore' in my face before it pecked out my eyes. Can you tell I'm totally losin' it here? "Pssst! Hey, Dickweed! Open up!"

20

And he'd drawn a huge lopsided heart around the whole note. I smiled, tucked the little heart-note under my pillow, my mind full of "My" Robin as dreams gathered me up. The next day, at school, I held my head up higher. I would have to take this for the time being but I damn well wasn't gonna skulk around anymore. A kid stared at me as I opened my locker. "WHAT?" I growled at him. One of my swim team 'former' friends rammed his shoulder into me as I walked down the hall but the boy he was with pulled him back and I heard him mumble, "Don't be a jerk". Classes were the same but I didn't wait for the bell so I could slither in like some kind of freak. I walked in, sat down and tried to ignore the stares and the whispers. Mr. Carstairs asked me a question about trade embargoes and I answered him, making him smile in encouragement. I wasn't happy with him but then I wasn't too happy with any adults right now. A girl in my Calc class smiled timidly and I smiled back. The boy whose locker is next to mine dropped a book and when I picked it up, said 'Thank you' and his eyes smiled. People weren't all bad.........but it really wasn't enough. Lunch came and I grabbed my tray, the one with the icky queer germs all over it and headed for the designated faggot table by the garbage cans. But today, I didn't cram my food as fast as I could. I ate slow and actually looked around at the kids I'd known my whole life. I found a few looking back at me with questioning eyes. Then, I saw Robin. He was sitting with Amy and Jack and two of Amy's friends. Why couldn't I at least sit and eat with my friends? I picked up my tray and walked over. "Hey guys." Robin's eyes said it all. He schooched over and I sat down, a space big enough to drive a Mack truck between us. I knew I only had a few minutes but I was making a statement and I wanted everyone to see me. "I'm gonna fix this, Robby," I said gently. "I don't know how but I am gonna fix this. This wasn't supposed to happen." "I know," he whispered. "I miss you, Joey." Under my breath, I mumbled, "My yard, tonight, 10:00. Please." He smiled and I knew he'd come. I looked at Jack and he nodded his head. "Dad took it." "Joey." I turned my head and saw the lunchroom teacher monitor standing behind me. "You have to move away." "Why?" I asked belligerently. "Joey, don't do this," Ms. Daniels said sadly. "I don't like this any better than you do. Please, just move." I felt sorry for her and knew my time was up. "Gotta go back to Queer Jail," I announced loudly and heard several snorts and giggles. I looked at Robin, smiled and walked out, dumping my trash. When I got in the car, my mom was rigid. "What?" I said. She didn't say a word. We rode all the way home in silence. Now that I had broken my solitude, I didn't like the quiet, not one bit. I saw a red Volvo parked in the driveway. "Oh God! Aunt Char!!" This could mean two things. Either she was gonna help or she was here to drive me to the 'institution'. I prayed for the first. Throwing my bookbag down on the floor, I didn't even pretend I didn't know what was going on; why she was here. "Aunt Char," I said quietly, moving across the room to stand by the sofa. "Joey," she replied, her eyes searching into mine. "I've been discussing life with your mother." I heard my mom snort but she didn't say anything. That was a first. Aunt Char patted the cushion beside her and I sat down, my feet on the floor, my arms hugged around my stomach, my back not touching the sofa. "So, you're gay!" Not a question; a statement. "You wouldn't believe what he was doing, Char. He was...............," my mother started to spout. "Hush, Karen. I've already heard from you. I want to hear Joey."

What? My mom.........silenced?? Has the world ended? Am I dead? I peeked out from under my lashes and saw my Aunt Char's soft smile. For me! For Robin! I sucked in my breath and lifted my head, "Yes, Aunt Char. I'm gay." She sifted slightly and I felt her arm go around my shaky shoulders. "He is not," my mother groaned. "It's all that other........" "It's not, Mom. It's me," I said, my voice cracking. "If it wasn't Robin, it would be someone else." "But........," "Karen, Joey's not a child. He knows his own body." My mother looked like she swallowed a gopher at the word 'body'. I guess she was picturing what my 'body' had been doing when she walked in. "I won't allow him to do those perversions," my mother muttered. "And how will you stop him? If he's gay," I watched my mother cringe, "He'll find a way. It's what he's supposed to do, Karen. It's what his mind and his body tell him is the right thing to do. Joey, go on up to your room. I need to talk to your mom for awhile." She shoved at me gently and I walked to the door. "Aunt Char," I said, thinking what could I lose, ""Please help me." She smiled and I walked up the stairs, to sit at the top. Wouldn't you? My life depended on what happened in that room in the next few minutes. I sure as hell was gonna listen. The voices were muffled but I could understand the gist of the conversation. I didn't know that!! Whoa.......my mom's uncle did that? He wore what? I never heard that story. Well, I guess not, Joe........no one's gonna tell you your granduncle was a....a.......Wow! I could hear Mom arguing and Aunt Char killing all the lame points she made like I could go to therapy; I could go to a new school; I would grow out of it, etc......... Dad came home and he entered joined the war on Joey. Beth had long since snuggled by my side on the stairs as we listened. Her eyes huge, my little Bethie squeezed my hand in support. "All these rules and regulations you've imposed are absurd," I heard Aunt Char say sternly. "He's a teenage boy, not a convict in maximum security. What were you thinking?" "He needs guidance," my dad said weakly. "Yes. He does. He needs guidance from parents who love him; not strangers who bully him and make him feel frightened and alone." "We are his parents. We will decide what's right for our son," my mom imposed. I heard Aunt Char sigh. "Karen, you were a stubborn little girl and you've grown in to a stubborn opinionated woman. Unbelievable as it may seem to you, you are not always right." "But he....................," "HE is Joey; the same little boy you taught to ride a bike, to climb a tree, to throw a ball, to swim, to read; the same little boy who couldn't sleep waiting for Santa, who was afraid of the blue monster under his bed, who begged for the same story every night for a whole year. All he's said to you is that he is gay. It's not a disease; it's a life difference. You can help him live his life with joy and happiness or you can drag him down right now, so hard he will never get up."

There was a lot of quiet going on down there. I looked down at Beth and smiled. "I love you, Joey," she whispered. "He needs these rules so he won't hurt anyone," my mom wouldn't give up. "Who is being hurt here, Karen? The only one hurting is Joey. Did he say anything about the other boy?" "Oh yes.......he said he loved him," my mom nearly spit the words out. "Maybe he does." I thought about Robin and his soft blond hair and his sad eyes that laughed when I kissed him. I thought about how anxious he was; afraid that I'd hurt him. I remembered his face when he told me about that mean fucker in Australia and how I promised never to hurt him that way. Did I love him? I was sure "in absolute like" with him and only time would tell if love would come out of it. But it sure wasn't just a blowjob, Mom. It was much much more than that. "You need to lighten up on him, Karen. He needs to go on to school and work this out in his own mind. You've done enough damage already." "I know what's best for my own child." "No. You don't. Richard, you're not saying much." I heard my dad clear his throat. "Karen, I've been thinking........" "What? You too? You want a queer son?" I rolled my head, listening to the little cartilages crack and pop in my neck. Where had my mom gone? My eyes burned but I was tough. Tears were so not gonna fall right now. "No," Richard said, his voice getting stronger, "I just want my son. I miss him." What? Go, Dad! OMG! I almost jumped up, then remembered I was silent running here on the top step. Beth grinned. "He needs help," my mom just wouldn't stop. "Richard, you know I can go to child welfare on this, don't you?" Aunt Char's voice got hard. "What? You wouldn't!!" mom gasped. "You better believe I would and having a gay son would be nothing compared to child abuse, Karen." OMGOMG!! Aunt down..........HARD!! Char!! I think I heard my mom sit

"We haven't abused him, Char." "There is physical abuse and there's mental abuse. I consider what you've done to your son gross mental abuse. He looks like he's lost weight and you took him off the swim team. He is chained to this house and has no contact with other children his own age. You treat him like a dog chained to a tree." "We do not!" "Yes, Karen, we do," I heard my dad sigh. "Char, we DO need help for Joey though. Not to change him," I heard my mom start to argue, "But we need to get help for him." "There are organizations that will help you, Richard. All you have to do is call." "Places full of gay people," my mom said, her voice raspy. "Well, I assume so since that's who you are trying to help." I could hear the restrained sarcasm in my aunt's voice. "I hate to break this to you, sister mine, but Keith and I have several gay friends. Actually, you know that dip you loved so much at my last party, the one you got the recipe for? That was John's famous Texas Jalapeno Dip. Did you taste anything different?"

21

HeHe !! Got her with that one, Aunt Char. "Joey. Beth. I know you're sitting up there," Aunt Char called. "Come here." "Not Beth. She doesn't need to know........," mom started. "I want to stay with Joey," Beth grabbed my hand tighter and clung to my side. "I don't care if he's gay. He's still Joey." I was never so proud of my sister. "I think your mom and dad have some things to say. I think they feel they overreacted to what happened just a tad." She nudged her sister and mom cleared her throat. "I'm not at all pleased with this," Mom started, " I didn't give birth to you so you could be queer," Dad cleared his throat, "So you could be gay. I will not have any of that in my house." "Joey, what your mom is saying, rather poorly, is that she needs to think over what has happened and remove a few of the restrictions she placed on you." My mom was not happy. She wouldn't look straight at me. I wasn't hoping for this much so I didn't push my luck at all. I sat quiet. My dad said softly, "I'll go to the school tomorrow and set your schedule back in order." He started to reach for my shoulder but pulled his hand back. I sighed. My dad didn't want to touch me. It was like they had an alien in their house and first they tried to exterminate it and now they would just close their eyes and hope it poofed away. Bad pun there......poof!! Haha-Not! "Do you want to come spend a few days at my house with Uncle Keith and me, Joey?" I thought how great that sounded. Go away. Be gone. But I'd just come back. Nothing had really changed...just the setting, not the feelings. Besides, I'd told Robin to meet me tonight. I couldn't let him down, not again. "No thanks, Aunt Char. I better get on back to school. I've gotta see if I have any friends left at all." Aunt Char turned to my parents. "You do realize what you did to Joey with all this, don't you? You outted him before he was ready. You made him different in the eyes of his friends. He has to work through that now." "But he IS different." Thanks, Mom. "But you didn't leave him the choice of keeping it to himself, did you, Karen?" "Well, he rubbed my nose in it, didn't he by doing "that" in my house." All eyes swung to me! "Okay, I really am sorry that you saw that. I thought you were gone. You said you were going shopping. I never would have with you in the house. I swear." "You will NEVER do that again," Mom growled at me. Truly, it sounded like a growl. I couldn't help myself, "Never do that or never do that here?" "JOSEPH!!" all three grownups frowned. "Don't push it, buddyboy." Yeah, I guess that was kinda bad, what with Aunt Char doin' such a good job and me, walking on very very extremely thin ice. I was feelin' so happy just knowin' that maybe my life wasn't over......maybe the light at the end of that tunnel, you know, the one way off down there.......maybe someone turned my light back on. Mom wasn't happy and Dad prolly couldn't control her like I would want; no more suckin' on any sweet little dicks in my room anytime soon, like um.. never, but at least I could, at 15, walk to school by myself again. I left the room and snuck upstairs. So much had gone on.....my world just kept tilting on and off its axis. I had a severe headache from the stress and I was so scared that, any minute, I'd hear Mom yell again and off we go......me back to Stalag Queer. I don't mean to sound sassy but this whole thing has been surreal. One day, I'm Joey Andersson, swimboy and the next, I turn into Joey "the gaycreature" Andersson, pariah to the world. Now, I'm back to just joey and I like this just fine. School tomorrow will be horrific, I already know that but at

least I can talk to Amy. I wonder if I can talk to Robin? Mom didn't mention that yet. I wonder if they'll allow me in the swimming pool? Does swimming with a gay boy make you gay? Jeez, thing is, they've been doin' it for all these years and didn't know it. Oops !! I won't go in the locker room. They'd prolly all crawl the walls. Do they really think that a gay guy jumps just anyone? Well, hmm.......there are times...........Oh, shut up, Joe. Now's so not the time. Dinner was a catastrophe. Mom was still furious, the food was cold and no one was hungry. Dad ate like the good soldier he is but Beth and I couldn't look at each other for fear we'd laugh. That would get us both solitary confinement for like ever. "You will go straight to school and you will come straight home. You understand me, young man? I do not want you talking to that boy. Maybe this will all blow over and you will find a pretty girl more to your liking." Mom had now packed her bags and was headed directly to Denial World. But, you know what? Maybe it would be easier this way. She knows but she doesn't. Like David Copperfield.....now you see it, now you don't. Now you see me suck his cock...............now you don't. God, shut up, Joey. I'd slap my own face, but ouch!! "Yes, Ma'am," I threw the ma'am in for points. Never hurts. I took a long shower, leaned against the slick tiles and jerked off thinking about how Robin's butt looked in his jeans. He didn't have a round butt, more like just a handful but lord, he looked just fine to me. I knew I was playing a dangerous game tonight......I could blow the whole thing but I had to see him. All I'd do was climb down the trellis just like Jack had shimmied up and I could see my cutie for a few minutes. That's all I needed to make it....just a few minutes of Robin Time. Have you ever waited for something you wanted really bad? Does your clock work? Mine had to be broken or something cause every time I looked at it, it was just a few minutes further along its little ticky road. Damn clock! Finally, the house creaked its last creak and settled down for the night. I have to assume Mom and Dad are exhausted from all that thinking and all that resolving of Joey's life. God, parents work really hard, overtime actually, maneuvering and fixing until they have our lives just right......haha, just right for them. My life was just shit right now but I bet Mom sleeps really good tonight. She's gonna save her little boy child if it kills her ....or me. Whoa! Dang! 10:00. I should have eased that window open while there was still house noises. Jeez.......it sounds like screech owls. I slid the window up really slooooooow, praying the entire time. Let them be asleep! Don't let them hear me! I knew this was soooo wrong, so dumb but I'd asked him and dang if I'd not show up in my own back yard. I skivvied down the trellis, catching my toe in the jasmine vines and pulling it loose from the wood. Dang! My feet hit the ground and I felt a warm hand touch my shoulder. "Hi, Robin," I whispered, as I turned around into his arms. He pulled me into the shadows of the tool shed and I pushed him gently against the metal wall. I felt his tongue lick my mouth and I let him in. Lord, I sucked him in. All I could feel was warm boy and hot mouth and I was lost. All I wanted was to taste what I had tasted three weeks ago. "May I?" I said, my breath coming out in puffs, ragged and rough. He ran his hands on my face and leaned his head back against the cool metal. I took that as a yes. I dropped to my knees in the soft grass, opened his jeans and pulled everything down to his ankles. I nuzzled and smelled the aroma that was all Robin. I don't know if I was any good at it, but Robin seemed happy, judging by the moans I was hearing. His hands in my hair, I was intrigued by his foreskin. I worked it gently up and down, licking and sucking it gently. Then I went to work on the beautiful cock that he offered. For such a slender boy, he was a mouthful, not that I'm complaining, no sir! This time, no interruptions........no insane mother..... I wanted to watch...he came......hitting me in the face, reminding me of a National Geographical special I saw

once on Yellowstone Park and Old Faithful. I was grinning like an idiot, cum running down my cheeks onto my shirt. He pulled me back up and we sort of did this silly belly wiggle and got sticky on our shirts. I think we both had the same idea............save the shirts for later, alone in our beds. "Joey," he whispered. "I'm scared." I realized I hadn't told him about this afternoon. "It's gonna be all right, baby," I whispered. "Baby??" where did that come from? I was totally gone, wasn't I? I rocked him gently and told him what had happened. As my words sunk in, I could feel him smiling into my neck. "So, it's gonna be all right?" he asked. "Well, I'm out of prison anyway. I'm not supposed to ever see you again but you can already see how that's gonna work," I told him. "Tomorrow, at school, we'll see what happens, K? I'll be there for you now, Robby. I won't let anyone mess with you." "Jack told you, eh?" "Sure, he did. He loves you. He was really rippin' mad at me and he made me see I was wrong. We'll get through this somehow." I wasn't sure of anything, not how we'd get through it; not how we would survive at school; not if my mother would let me live; nothing. All I did know was that if I wasn't proud of myself, if I didn't stand up and tell the world who I was and what I wanted, no one would. Kinda like if you have a problem with it, it's YOUR problem, not mine. I hadn't wanted it this way but I was out and no one was gonna mess with me again. I took his chin in my fingers. "Robby," I whispered, "No worries." ** What can I say? It's one thing to feel all righteous and justified when you're in your safe warm house; it's quite another when you pick up that backpack and start trudging to school. It's really weird but I actually felt safer when no one could speak to me, when I was a pariah. I was now gonna, for the first time in my life, find out who my friends really were. I'd known these people since Kindergarten but realized that I didn't really know them at all. At least, not how their minds worked, what their beliefs were. Would they use religion as a reason not to like me? Parents? Health? Stupidity? I just knew I was in no hurry to be "out" at my high school. My main worry was the swim team. I was their captain, for jeez sakes. They had all supported Coach Smallwood putting me at the lead. What would happen now? Had they picked a new captain? Was I even on the team anymore? I'm a pretty average sized guy and I've never been one to run from a fight. I just hoped no one would decide that today was "Whack the Queer Kid" day cause my Mom would just jump on any bruise or cut with "I told you so". Even if I don't start it, it will be my fault cause I'm gay. I wish there was another gay kid at my school. Well, yeah, there's Robin but he doesn't know what the hell he's doin' either. I stopped at the corner staring at the modern one story building that housed people who would make me or break me today. I know, I know, in ten years, I won't even remember this. It will be this bad memory. Yeah, I realize that but Hey! I'm right here, right now. I wish to hell I WAS ten years from now, all cuddled up with my forever someone, telling him the horror story of my 'coming out'. But, I'm not. I will be sadly funny then; it's fucking terrifying now. I crossed over the lawn in front of the office and saw my dad's car parked out in the lot. I guessed I should go in there. Opening the door, I ran right into a wall of staring eyes. It was like the whole office just stopped. Ack! Joey Andersson enters and the party stops. So goes life! Mrs. Carey, the principal saw me and waved me into her office. Humph! Yep, they were all there: my dad, Vice Principal Hingham, Coach Smallwood, Miss Easton, the guidance counselor (to handle my feelings of worthlessness, I assume), Mr. Carstairs (huh?) and two of my other classroom teachers. Quite a group just to sort out one little gay kid. Talk about feeling under the microscope. "Joey," Mrs. Carey spoke quietly. "Your father has asked us to lift any restrictions we had placed on you and I'm very happy to do so." She looked at my dad, who was fidgeting in his chair. Heck, these people don't realize how fortunate they are to have him and not my mom glaring back at them. Mr. Andersson, we appreciate your concern for Joey and we'll do everything within our means to help him with his problem." Oh God! Joey Andersson and his 'problem'.

22

"He'll be scheduled for a time to spend with Miss Easton. Our guidance counselor to talk over any problems he might be having and I've assigned Mr. Carstairs to be his mentor." My head jerked up. They HAD to be kidding.......Do they know they've just assigned me to a gay mentor? I looked at my history teacher and his eyes told that they did not have this insignificant fact. Snort!! Now, don't go getting' all weirded on me..........he's like old enough to be my dad, kinda, and well, just No. But it would be cool to have someone to ask questions to, who might really tell me the truth. Coach Smallwood cleared his throat. "Joey, we'll see you after school for practice, right?" Hmmm, so it's back to business. "Yes, sir," I replied, wondering how the guys were gonna take having me there. Mr. Hingham reached out his hand to my dad. "We'll take good care of Joey, Mr. Andersson. Let's get this school day started." They all stood up and filed out of the office. "Joey," Mr. Hingham called me over. "Take it slow, Joey. This has caused a lot of kids to have to rethink. They know you; they are all your friends. Give it time." I hear you, Mr. H. I'm Joey.....but I'm not. I'm exactly the same kid who taught Billy McAllistair to throw that curve ball; who helped Jenny Garth get an A+ on our volcano in 7th grade; who organized the broomball games every October in the parking lot; who helped the swim team to win that bigass trophy in the case by the front door. Yeah, Mr. H., I'm the same Joey but I'm not. I'm now the odd kid, the gay kid, the kid who likes boys; who does 'things' with boys. Why should I have prove who I am? I am exactly me! The day started slowly and guess what? It just kept going slowly. People ignored me, smiled at me shyly, muttered under their breath at me. I heard faggot and queer and up the ass and buttfucker a few times. If I really took the time, which I didn't have time for on this reeeeally sloooow day, I'd have to really look at who was muttering those things. It sure wasn't girls. The voices were always male and the sneers were always guys. But, like I said last night, If there's a problem....it's yours, not mine. I'm just lucky that I got here today, freed from my exile. Say what you want.....I'm stayin'. "Joooooooooeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyy!" Well, that would be Amy J. Her arms flung around my neck and she giggled and snuggled and I didn't have the heart to tell to climb off me. "I have like sooo missed you," she sighed. "You wanna hear a secret?" "Not if it involves you and a pack of wild monkeys," I snickered. And, yeah, I got an arm noogie for that. "No, you are like this celebrity. My best friend, a celeb." Oh, yeah, right. I'm on Letterman tonight. Joey, boy from Queeropolis, and his true story of surviving his escape from the lair of the shebeast. Can you tell I so do not like my mom right now. I think I was adopted or better yet, I was raised by wolves and they will come to claim me and they will eat her for supper and........................ Jeez! Where did that come from? I am sick! Amy continued to babble to me as we walked down the hall. People looked and a few kinda snarled ( I kept thinking of the wolves) but no one said anything. "Yeah," she told me, "You're like this anti-hero person." Well, I guess that's better than an invisible person, maybe. I saw Robin at his locker and didn't know whether to say Hey or leave him alone right now. He decided that for me. "Hey, Joey," he said softly and raised his hand in a small wave. I walked toward him and suddenly, I swear to God, it was like silent in that hallway. Everyone froze. I froze. What the..........? Then it dawned on me. They all want to see what we'll do. I looked at Robin and his eyes were round. He looked scared. I wasn't gonna do anything to upset him but Damn! It had to be the jerk in me comin' out but I so wanted to drop to the floor and shove my face in his crotch and let them all watch. They would deny it later but there wouldn't be any dry underwear in the place. But, I am a good boyfriend. I walked, stopped about 4 feet from him and said, Hi." When people saw that we weren't gonna do a 'deepthroat' right there in the hall, they activated and life began anew. God, their lives are boring! "Can we sit together at lunch?" Robin asked.

"Sure, if you mean in the same cafeteria," I groaned. We were gonna have major problems with togetherness and I'm sure, somehow, mom would learn that I was standing here right now breathing the same air as my partner in sexual depravity but jeeez, I gotta breathe. Might as well do it in front of Robin. He sighed and turned to grab his books from his locker. I reached out, couldn't help it, and touched his back. "It'll get better. Just hold on for a while, K?" He didn't turn around but nodded his head. I think he was crying. Shit! I wanted to hug him and whisper, 'Don't cry, baby' but I was in the middle of the hall and well................. "I'll see ya in the caf," I said slowly and walked on to class, feeling like minor shit but I had to protect him from these really "nice" people who were muttering obscenities under their breath at every turn in the hall. I couldn't give them any ammunition to use against him. He'd been through enough. As I was leaving history class, Mr. Carstairs stopped me. "Joey, I'm glad to see things settling down for you." "No thanks to you," I blurted out. God, that sucked. The man couldn't have helped me. I knew that but you gotta understand, all adults are my enemy right now. He looked pitiful and replied, "I need this job, Joey."

Larry Harris looked at me questioningly. "You been checkin' us all out in the locker room, Joe?" I heard nervous snickers. Here we go! I locked eyes with Larry. "Yeah, " I answered bluntly. OMG!!! What the shit?? I heard them all muttering under their breath. Taking a deep breath, I finished, "But guys, you know how you check out all the girls? It's the same thing, really. I just like to look. I don't wanna touch. ( well, you and I know that isn't zactly true, but I was trying to reassure them and get back on the team, right?) I know it's gonna take some doin' on your part to accept me back but believe me, I just wanna swim. I've missed it too much." Mutter, mumble, mumble, mutter...........Ben Kraig stood up. "Let's get in the water. I've got a shitload of homework tonight." As if a wall had crumbled, they all got up and headed for the locker room. "Should I change somewhere else, Coach?" I asked, feeling really awkward. Coach Smallwood shook his head, "No, son. Go get your suit on. You've got laps to make up. You look skinny." He pulled out that whistle and blew it a few times. "Let's go, men. We got some laps to take." Jack walked with me to the locker room. "Thank you for getting that note to my Aunt Char," I said quietly.

I didn't want to let him off the hook that easily. I just nodded and said, "See ya, Mr. C." Lunch was ludicrous. I sat at the designated queer table until Amy called loudly, "Hey Spitball, get your butt over here." I grinned and ambled, yeah, ambling is way cool, over to the long table where we always sat. Robin and Jack were at one end, so I parked myself at the other with various and sundry girls and a couple of guys between us so we couldn't like 'do it' on the table top. I swear, people need to get over themselves. If Frankie Munoz, the captain of the football team and star girl machine can keep his dick in his pants in the caf, so can I. Oh, by the way, if you're interested, I've seen Frankie's dick and let me just say...........impressive!! Do the words 'hung like a bull' do it for you? Thought so! Got through lunch and was enduring the last class of the day. I was anxious to get to swim practice and yet scared almost pissless. I wanted back on the team. I wanted it the way it had been. I knew that wasn't gonna happen. I didn't know what was.... Jack caught up with me as I walked toward the gym. "Need some company?" I didn't look at him. I just felt his support. It was like the shootout at the OK Corral, you know when Wyatt Earp and his brothers and Doc Holiday are walkin' side by side toward the bad guys. Here I am with Jack by my side walkin' toward what I prayed weren't the bad guys. Coach Smallwood called everyone over to the bleachers. "Okay guys, Joey's back on the team. I put Donnie in as temporary captain. Does anyone have a problem with Joey stepping back in?" I stood my ground. I was scared but this was just one of life's defining moments. The guys all looked at the floor, the walls, their laps, everywhere but at me. Finally, Jack said, "I don't have a problem with it, Coach. Joey is a great captain." "I guess you'd say that," I heard Chris Terry mutter, "He's fuckin' your brother." Jack moved faster than I did. He had Chris up by the shirtfront and was in his face. "Don't You EVER Say Anything Like That Again!! I mean it. I'll beat your ass into the ground." "Let go, Jack," I said carefully. "I think I need to say something." He glared into Chris' eyes and dropped him, stalking over to stand by me. "Guys, we've been swimming together for years. You all know me. I know this is weird and I know you kinda don't wanna be around me right now but I'm just me." "It was my mom and dad. They drove over with Robin and talked to her and to your uncle. They told her what was happening and Robin told her what your mom had seen. He was so embarrassed but he did it for you, Joey. He's shy and he's quiet but don't think he's not strong inside. Don't hurt him." I slung my arm over his shoulder. He looked down at it, back up at me and I knew I had a friend. In the locker room, some of the guys turned away and were awkwardly pulling on their speedos. One or two glared at me as if daring me to look at them. Why do they feel so threatened? The tension was thick and I didn't know what else to do. A locker door banged shut and Georgie Klein sighed, "Well, I don't know about any of the rest of you, but I'm gonna go buy a soap on a rope." Suddenly, the whole thing seemed so stupid. I started laughing and Georgie giggled, several of the guys chuckling as we walked out the door to the pool. I would find out, in the days to come, who my true friends are but for right now, I think I'll shower when I get home.......just to protect all those innocent little boys from the big bad Joey. J Practice over, Jack and I started the long walk home. We turned the corner and found Robin and Amy sitting on the brick wall of the Methodist church. This felt good.....it felt right. I laughed and Robin smiled. I wanted to grab his hand and swing it as we walked but I knew better. "Practice go okay," he asked in a worried tone. "Yeah, peachy," I grinned. "That bad, huh?" As we got near our neighborhood, Amy and I took one side of the street and Jack and Robin the other. Silly, I know, but, technically, we aren't walking together...we're just on the same street, at the same time, walking in the same direction, grinning at each other like idiots. I don't know how I'm gonna convince my mom and my dad, maybe I never will. I just know............it's not my problem, it's theirs and they've gotta deal with. I have plenty to deal with on my own.........well, with my friends and with Robin. Robin, Chapter 8 - "Love is a Phoenix" by The Journeyman This story contains explicit descriptions of sexual acts between the characters in it. Although the characters are teenagers who may be below the age of consent in the country or state where this is read, nothing written here should be taken as approval of, or encouragement for, sexual liaisons between people where such liaisons are either illegal, or objectionable for moral reasons. Although this story does not include safe sex practices, it is everyone's own responsibility to themselves and to each other to engage only in PROTECTED SEX. It is a story. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Nothing represented here is based on any fact known to the authors.

23

The story is being written by several authors, each writing a different chapter. This chapter is copyright 2002 by by The Journeyman. Do, please, email the authors with your comments. We all love to receive feedback. There is a mailing list here for news, among other things, of new stories. To join it or to leave it, please fill out this form:

We had fallen into heavy lust almost immediately, and we had mistaken it for love. Even Jack had. Yeah, we liked being with each other, but love hadn't even had a chance to develop. We needed more. So there, at midnight, I decided to love Robin. We were going to date. No sex. Date. We would spend time together, go to movies, eat at each others' houses, watch baseball games together, hold hands at sunsets, swim, run, laugh and goof around together. Boys and girls could do it, so could we. I knew they could because most of the boys in my school weren't getting any. Just because the danger of pregnancy was eliminated from Robin and me was no reason to automatically go tumbling into bed together at the first opportunity. We were going to woo. Okay, that was hard enough to figure out. The next part was near impossible. How to get around my parents. Yeah, I know, I should have stopped thinking there. It would have been safer. Don't bug me about it. The truth is, I couldn't get to sleep. I was pretty damn proud of myself for figuring out that first part, but now I had another problem, and I wanted to figure it out while I was on a roll. So I lay there some more and thought. How to get around my parents. I had to have a plan to sneak in and out of the house. I'd have to have an accomplice. Aunt Char could do it. No, that wouldn't work. Amy might be able to help. Yeah, I could say I was going somewhere with her. That would work some of the time. I could fake sleepovers with some of the guys from the swim team. Of course, I'd have to keep track of the lies. The lies. Damn, those thoughts again. Lies. I was going to have to lie like a rug to go see Robin. Sneak around like a criminal. Like someone who's ashamed of what he's doing. Like someone who's doing something wrong. Like a demon who can't show his face in the light. Well, no. My love for Robin was going to be honest and truthful. I would not sneak around to see my boyfriend. This was going to be in the open - at least around the house - and I was not going to be ashamed of it. I would have to face my parents. If I lied it would be admitting there was something wrong with Robin and me being together. It would be a show down. I was going to date Robin, and my parents could either learn to accept it (I wouldn't even insist that they like it, just accept it) or they were going to throw me out. They could make my life hell, but I was going to date Robin. As disturbing as those thoughts should have been, I felt calm and at ease. And I fell asleep. "Robin, wait up," I shouted the next morning as I followed him and Jack across the school yard. They stopped and looked around. I was grinning the grin of the peaceful. The grin of the in-love. Robin smiled back; Jack looked skeptical. "Hi, mate," Robin said. Geez, I just wanted to squeeze him. "Robin, listen, I just want to apologize, man, for not being around." "Yeah, Jack told me what you've been going through at home. Worse than here at school. I guess I shouldn't even be talking to you." "Well, no. I mean yes. I mean, yes you should be talking to me, and I should be talking to you. "I've been doing a lot of thinking. Umm . . ." I looked pointedly at Jack. "Um, you can go if you want. I'm not going to hurt him." "Ehm, yeah. All right. I'll see you at home after practice," he said to Robin. He caught up to a classmate and disappeared into the building.

"Robin," I said. "look, like I said I've been doing a lot of thinking. Well, most of last night. Robin, I love you. But, oh, hell. I can't explain it all here. Look, I want to go out with you. I want to take you on a date. How about tonight? It's Friday and there are some good movies and we could grab a hamburger somewhere and go on a date. Ya wanna?" "Er, well, yeah, I do. It sounds great. What about your folks?" "I don't know," I replied. "I haven't figured that out yet. But I will."

Subscribe

Unsubscribe

Just then Amy walked by. "How are you?" she asked. "I've missed you." "Pissed," I said. "I don't even want to talk to my parents. If I could I'd run away. But I can't leave Beth." "Yeah," she said. "I understand. Still, I wouldn't blame you." "Where would you go?" Robin asked. "Yeah, well, that's the other thing. I don't really have any place to go. Aunt Char might take me in, but really it would just be delaying the inevitable. Eventually I'd have to deal with them." "Yeah, but maybe they'd calm down by then," he said. "I don't know. Maybe. But I can't leave Beth." "Right, mate. I know. I wouldn't be able to leave Jack if I were in your situation," Robin said. "Anyway, we gotta figure out something about tonight." "What about tonight?" Amy asked. "I want to take Robin on a date, but I can't figure out how to get out of the house. I gotta come up with a way to get out of the house." I let out a big sigh. "Um, just tell them you're going out with a friend," Amy said. "Except they don't trust me. They'll ask who, and demand proof." "Then give them proof." "How?" "God, you can be dense," Amy said with an exasperated burst of breath. Both Robin and I just looked at her. "Oh, god, Joey. Tell them you're taking me out. I'll come to your house and you can leave with me. Then go get Robin and have a hot date." Oh. Yeah. "Um, yeah, that'll work. Cool. Um, come by about 7:00 and I'll be ready to go." Amy smiled. "Thanks, Amy," Robin said. "I owe you. Wanna go on a date some time?" "Hey," I said. "Sure," Amy said with a smile. "Next Friday, then. You pick the activity." "Miniature golf," she replied with a giggle. "And root beer floats afterward."

Subscribe to IOMfAtS Mailing List

----oooOOOooo---This just sucked. Here I am, a healthy, hormone-filled teenager with a lover, a hard-on that won't quit, and two parents to amount to the Berlin Wall of teenage lust. I lay in my bed that night alone. Robin wouldn't come to my window again - it was just too risky. We got away with it last night, and we sort of walked home together and survived any surveillance that my folks may have set out, but neither of us was willing to risk another tryst (I learned that word in English Composition - cool word, huh?) in the moonlight. I didn't want to cum. I wanted to save that for Robbie. And although the stress of the day had worn me out, I was unable to sleep. When I got home that afternoon my mom sent me immediately to my room to do homework. When dad came home we had dinner, then she had a series of chores for me. They involved "manly" things, like cleaning out the garage, fixing and oiling the chain on Beth's bike, vacuuming out mom's car, cleaning up the work bench in the basement. I could see what she was doing; I wondered if she could. See, this just wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that my parents had reacted like they did. It wasn't fair to be put into this position. I was their son. I had been a good son. I was still a good son. I had done nothing wrong except make love to someone in the house. And truth is, I expected to be in trouble for that. I should have gotten in trouble if it had been a girl, and I should have gotten in trouble for doing it with a boy. I don't have a problem with that. Ground me, give me chores, whip my ass. But don't lay all this on me because I'm gay. Punish me for something I have control over, like getting naked and nasty with another person, but not for something that I don't have a choice in. I'm gay. Period. Mom's reaction, and dad's reaction to that, was totally out of character. And I didn't have a clue how to deal with it. So I lay in bed, and started doing what is usually the most dangerous thing a teenage boy with runaway hormones can do. I started thinking. I thought about Jack and how he loved his brother. I thought about Jack and how I loved his brother. And I thought about Jack and me and that common love. He loved Robin because he was his brother. He knew Robin, grew up with him, had fun with him, had fights with him, watched him be brave, watched him be hurt and watched him recover. He knew what Robin could be like in quiet moments, in angry moments, and in exciting moments, like Christmas. He had probably shared supremely happy moments with Robin, and profoundly sad moments. Maybe Robbie had taught him to ride a bike or helped him with his coloring or showed him how to read a Dr. Seuss book. Perhaps Jack had run to Robin when he had fallen, and Robin had held him and hugged him and patched up his knee. Maybe Robin had confided in Jack when he could confide in no one else, and sought Jack's help in a crisis. Those are all the reasons to love Robin. Jack had every reason in the world to love him. What reason did I? I told you these were dangerous thoughts. Why did I love Robin? Because he could suck a soccer ball though a garden hose? Because he could turn my balls inside out when I came? Because his cock fit my mouth like it was molded specially for it? Because his kisses make me melt into a pool of goo? Because he's the cutest thing that Australia has turned out since - well, dammit, he's cuter that those freakin' koalas. Was that why I loved him? Yup. But it wasn't enough. As the clock neared midnight, I was still awake and more confused than ever. I lusted Robin. That's all. I lusted him. Jack loved him. And I envied that. I wanted to love Robin. I mean really love him. I wanted to know him and read him and play with him and be near him and hold him and fuck . . . well, maybe that could wait.

24

"It's a deal," he said, and he shook her hand. "Um, you and me? Remember?" I said a little heatedly. "Oh, get over it, mate," he said. "If she's going to do that we owe her a night out. You can come too." "Oh, well, in that case, okay." We walked into school and I tried to learn something in each of my classes. Tried. Doesn't mean I was entirely successful. After school Amy skipped by and said she'd come by around 7:00. Robin, Jack and I walked home. Dinner was tense, as it had been since all this happened. I didn't talk to my parents except to give one- or two-word answers to their questions. I didn't feel like I knew them any more. It didn't really feel like home. There was a dark, oppressive atmosphere that seemed to weigh down on all of us, and it came from the woman who had been my mom just a few weeks ago. There was almost a constant scowl on her face. My father was impassive, quiet. No longer joking and talking about his day. Dinner wasn't a time for conversation any more. It was a time when we ate food to keep going. It was merely clinical. The worst thing was what it was doing to Beth. She was an innocent victim in all of this, and she looked so sad. I don't know if she understood all that was going on, but it didn't really matter. She was oppressed and gloomy over it all, and she didn't have anything to do with it. If anything was unfair, it was what my parents - and I - had done to my little sister. Toward the end I said that I was going to a movie that night. The grilling started immediately. "Are you going with that boy?" my mother asked. "No," I lied. "Well? Who then?"

My mother sprang off the sofa. "No, you're not. I forbid it." "I don't care what you forbid. I'm going. You won't stop me." "I will. I will stop you. See what it's done to you, being a fag? It's made you a lying sneak." "I started to lie, but I came clean. I am being honest with you. It's you who've lost their way." "Get to your room. You will not go out. You will not see that boy." "His name is Robin."

"Bye, Joey. Have a good time. I mean that." I walked Amy out the door and down to Robin's. He answered as soon as I rang the doorbell. Jack stepped outside with us. "Hi, Amy," Robin said. "I don't know how to thank you for this." "Well, as it turned out, I didn't have to." Robin looked at her with curiosity. "My dad grew a backbone tonight," I said. "I told my parents I was going out with you. When my mom said no, I wasn't, my dad told her to be quiet. He said he was sorry for not sticking up for me sooner, and he said we'd all go for counseling. Then he slipped me a 20 and we came over here. End of story." "No, mate, I don't think it's the end of the story. But I like the latest chapter."

"His name is shit in this house, and you will not see him." Jack was smiling. "Yes, he will." A quiet, firm voice came from behind the animal that my mother had become. She spun around and faced my father, who had stood up and was facing us. "He will not. Sit down and stay out of this." "He will. I have stayed out of this far too long. Joey can go to the movie tonight, with Amy or with Robin. It doesn't matter." "How can you . . ." "Be quiet. Joey, I'm sorry I didn't speak up sooner. I was stunned and confused, and I got caught up in all of your mother's rantings. But I've done some reading and talking to people who have a lot more experience with this." The doorbell rang. "That was pretty brave of you, Joey," he said. "Yeah, well, maybe, but I should have been brave sooner. Robin, I'm sorry I didn't stand up for us sooner. But I just decided I couldn't lie any more. I can't lie to you or Jack or Amy or my parents. If we're going to be together, we have to be honest." "How sweet," Jack said batting his eyes, and we all laughed. "Amy, would you like to go with us tonight?" Robin asked. She smiled sweetly. "No, thanks, Robin. Tonight is for you guys. I'll collect, don't worry." "Yeah, and I'll pay up. Keep next Friday open." Joey's dad took dropped Amy at home before he took us to the movies. We held hands all through the movie, but we restrained ourselves from feeding each other popcorn. After the movie, Robin's dad picked us up and took us back to their house. Robin and I sat alone in the family room, the TV on but the sound turned down. The lights were off, and the room was lit only by the flickering image of a rerun of "Law and Order." I held him in my arms. We kissed. It was a passionate kiss, a love-filled kiss.

"Amy." "What movie?" "Don't know. We haven't decided." "When will you be home?" "When it's over." "Stop that. You'd better show me some respect." "As soon as you show me some." Damn. Too many words. The doorbell rang again. I put my dishes in the kitchen and went to my room to get ready. After a quick shower I dressed in some khakis, a green polo shirt and brown socks. I slid into a pair of boat shoes, then went back into the bathroom to style my hair. I wanted to look my best for . . . my date. While I was check my face for zits, I looked into my own eyes. I could see something in them, and I didn't like it. I could see hate. I could see enough hate that I was beginning to abandon my own standards. My parents had flipped out, but it didn't mean I had to. I thought back to last night, and how I had reasoned things out. And one of the things I reasoned was that my relationship with Robin would not be a lie. And here I was lying about whom I was going to the movies with. I closed my eyes to escape my own accusation, but when I opened them it was still me in the mirror. I had been waiting for Amy to arrive and ring the doorbell. I was planning to just leap down the stairs, dash to the door, shout out a "Bye," take Amy's hand and get out. Now I knew I couldn't. I walked heavily down the stairs and went to my parents in the family room. "I need to tell you something," I said. "I need to tell you that I lied. I am going to the movies with Robin." I opened it and let Amy come inside. "Hi. Thanks for doing this," I said. She looked confused for a moment. I stood there looking at my dad, and I saw the man I had grown up with. He was back. I walked to him, around my mother, and hugged him, sniffing back tears. "Thanks, dad," I said, holding him tight. "Thank you, son, for being honest with us tonight. We all have to starting working on that again." "You go to your movie tonight. Have a good time." He handed me a $20. "Don't stay out too late. You still have chores in the morning. And I promise you we'll see a family counselor, and we'll get this all worked out."

"This is what I want," I said. "This is the feeling I was craving. I want to be in someone's arms and I want the love." "I love this," he said. "Robin, I want to get to know you so much better. Can we just slow down? Can we do more of this? I love being with you." "Yes, Joey. I can be very happy this way. I can see all the mistakes I made in the past. It was all driven by sex. There wasn't enough of this. Truth be, there wasn't any of this." We kissed some more and I stroked his hair.

"Uh, well, thanks for asking me out," she said a little dramatically to make sure my parents heard. At 11:00 I started to get up. "Amy, it's okay. I came clean. I told them I'm going out with Robin. It's really sweet of you to do this, but you don't need to lie any more either." Amy hugged me. "Oh, Joey, I'm so glad. Um, how did that go?" I told her what Dad had done, how he had finally stood up to mom and what he had told me about counseling. "'Bye, Dad," I called over my shoulder. "I won't be late. Just to a movie and maybe something to eat afterward. Robin's folks will bring us home." "I have to go. I told my dad I wouldn't be late, and I don't want to break his trust. I need to get home. That way we'll get to do this a lot, lot more." He kissed me at the door, and I walked home happy, hoping this feeling would stay, but unsure what was going to happen with my family. I had started a family crisis, and I had no idea how it could come out. The house was dark when I got home at 11:10, but the living room light was on. My parents had started doing that when they went to bed. My mom had explained that it was so if she woke up in the middle of the night and saw that the light was off, she knew I was safely home.

25

I turned off the light. I was safely home. I wondered if my mom would care. Robin, Chapter 9 - Falling into place: The New Life by The Mouse The story and prior chapters are alos published on http://iomfats.org. This story contains explicit descriptions of sexual acts between the characters in it. Although the characters are teenagers who may be below the age of consent in the country or state where this is read, nothing written here should be taken as approval of, or encouragement for, sexual liaisons between people where such liaisons are either illegal, or objectionable for moral reasons. Although this story does not include safe sex practices, it is everyone's own responsibility to themselves and to each other to engage only in PROTECTED SEX. It is a story. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Nothing represented here is based on any fact known to the authors. The story is being written by several authors, each writing a different chapter. This chapter is 2004 by The Mouse. Do, please, email the authors with your comments. We all love to receive feedback. There is a mailing list here for news, among other things, of new stories. To join it or to leave it, please fill out this form:

to be unhappy the rest of my life pretending to be something that is more socially accepted. You taught me not to give in." I heard her take in a deep, harsh breath, and I prepared myself to get a tongue-lashing. Instead she opened up what she must have had buried in her before I was even born. She turned in the chair to face me, tears streaming down her face. She made no sound, but a floodgate had been opened somewhere. "What did...I...do?" She managed to gasp out more gracefully than I would have thought possible. I felt like that weight had fallen back onto my chest and had gained a few pounds on its vacation. I slid down to the floor next to her and, to my own surprise, lay my head on her lap. I looked into her haggard face and realized how beautiful my mom was. Her honey - brown hair had been pinned up but was now falling down into her face, partially covering her red - rimmed, green eyes. Her face was one that always reminded me of the heroines in storybooks. Not the princess figures but the smaller character that is strong, powerful, and plain looking when you first see her. When her strength truly shines, she is more beautiful than any princess could ever wish to be. My mother seemed beautiful now because her strength had finally surfaced as she admitted it was herself she was angry with, not me. Before, when she was threatening and punishing, me she had reminded me of an animal and seemed repulsive. She wasn't in her strength then, she was like a Tasmanian Devil when cornered. Not brave, just lashing out at anything and everything in order to survive. I felt her bend and wrap her arms around me, like she did when I saw the monster in my closet when I was small. "I'm sorry, Joey. I'm so sorry." We sat like that for a long time, with her protecting me as we wept together. When her tears dried, she stood and I retreated to the fridge. She looked into my eyes and hugged my tightly and walked upstairs to her bedroom and shut the door. I didn't know exactly what that meant, but I felt better and I had a sense that maybe everything would work itself out in time. I didn't feel like eating anymore so I picked up my list of chores and got crackin'. Whatever was going to happen would happen, but until then I would keep myself busy. I finished my chores around 2:00; and by that time, was hungry enough to eat twenty hotdogs. Ha - ha shut up pervert. I came in the kitchen door and saw Mom standing there with three grilled cheese sandwiches and homemade fries. Wow, a favorite of mine. "I made more, Joey." I cocked an eyebrow, not understanding what she was hinting at. "In case you want to invite a friend over." My eyes must have lit up like stars. I was hugging my mom so hard in an instant she had to push me away to catch her breath. "I'm going marketing. Beth is awake and watching TV. You are responsible for her until I get home. That boy - " "Robin," I corrected. Mom nodded and decided not to roll her eyes. "Robin may come over, but Beth will be here and Dad will be home soon. This is the way its going to be for a while, there will be someone else in the house when you two are here, and if you go in your room you need to leave the door open enough so that I can walk by and see what is going on. Got it?" I was still grinning from ear to ear. "Sure," I replied. This was fair. These would be her rules if she found me like that with a girl, so this was fair. She nodded. "Amy can be the other person in the house if Beth your Dad and I are all away. I trust you to be honest. I'd rather you be honest and gay then straight and deceitful." I hugged her again and said, "Deal," then added, "Love you, Mom."

She hugged me back. "I love you too, but I am not used to this...this boyfriend business and it's going to take me awhile. Okay?" I nodded into the hug and when she let me go I ran to the phone to call Robin. When he picked up the phone, I explained everything that happened and invited him over. He said he had never had French Fries before and asked if I wanted him to bring a deck of cards. I said, no that wasn't necessary, and we said goodbye. When I hung up the phone, I mouthed, "I love you" to the cradled receiver. I ran into the living room and plopped down on the couch next to my sister. She was still wearing her miss - matched pajamas and was wrapped up in the akin usually hung over the sofa. I pounced on her and gave her a big hug, too happy to contain myself. "I love you, Beth." "Ack! Get off me! You weigh a ton." She giggled while she said this; and I realized it was the first time I had heard her laugh since this whole antigay mess started. I sat back beside her and looked watched Elmer Fudd sing opera to a dolled up Bugs Bunny. "Is your boyfriend coming over?" I turned to look at Beth who sat contently watching Looney Tunes in her PJs. I looked back to the set and said, "Yeah. That okay with you?" She nodded and looked straight ahead. Funny how a nine - year old can handle differences better than my own Mother. "Do you know what it means that I have a boyfriend?" "Uh - huh." She was still intent on Bugs. I leaned my head back. "How do you feel about that?" She turned to look me straight in the eyes (pardon the pun) and asked, "Do you love him?" I was taken aback. That's all that should matter and she seemed to be the only human around who got that. "I think so." "Does he love you?" "I think so." "Is he nice to you?" I thought of Robin and how he was taking another chance with me and I nodded. "The nicest." "It's okay with me." And that was the end of it. That's all she cared about. If I was happy and safe she was happy. At that moment my heart swelled for Beth; and, I restrained myself from crushing her in an embrace. Instead, I simply placed my hand over hers where it rested and watched Elmer attempt to strike Bugs down with bolts of lightening, content with being there, with being the way I was beginning to believe God made me. When Robin came over about a half - hour later, Beth had gone up to her room to read and Mom was getting ready to go grocery shopping. I had hoped she would leave before Robin got there, I didn't want any more tension or any chance of her changing her mind. I didn't think the latter would happen, but I was cautious. It turns out I needn't have worried. Mom left almost as soon as Robin walked through the door, barely speaking to him and avoiding eye contact. When Robin came inside, Mom was picking up her purse and keys, ready to head out. She turned and looked past Robin, and I saw him blush from the corner of my eye. "I'm sorry...Robin," she said through clenched teeth. One of the most difficult things for my mother to do is to apologize to someone. She walked to the door, splitting us apart and put her hand out for Robin to accept. He looked at it skeptically and deciding it wasn't a threat, shook it. Mom nodded, kissed me on the cheek and left the house, closing the door behind her.

Subscribe

Unsubscribe

Subscribe to IOMfAtS Mailing List

----oooOOOooo---Remembering that I had to wake up earlier that Saturday, to get a jump-start on my chores, I had set my alarm for 8 a.m. I was hoping mom would be gone having left a list of "manly" odds and ends to do around the house. I had no such luck. As I jumped from the bottom step onto the first floor (I was feeling fresh, the honesty of the night before had taken a heavy burden off my chest), I noticed my mom, a.k.a. "Shebeast," sitting at the kitchen table reviewing a tax return fax. I walked over to the kitchen counter to view my chore list and turned my back to her. I didn't know if she even noticed I was in the room. She was wearing her nightgown and bathrobe and looked tired and frail, like a soldier who had just lost a battle. But, I wondered if she had been fighting for a cause she believed in or one she had been taught to uphold? I honestly didn't know. Up to this point in my life, my mother had seemed very easygoing and open - minded. She was a working mom in a career that would have been considered more for men in her generation. But she couldn't accept my sexuality? My thoughts were interrupted by my mom's monotone voice. "You need to make sure to use the oil and gas mix for the push mower." I sighed. At least she wasn't biting my head off about Robin. "I remember." She was silent as she read over the fax paper again. I walked to the fridge and opened it looking for some eggs. "Do you want an omelet?" I asked. She was being more civil to me so I could bring myself to show her the same courtesy. "You shouldn't be doing that." I closed the door and turned to her, facing her back. The sight of her leafing through that return made my blood boil. "Mom, I'm gay. It is not something I can control; there is research that proves being gay can be caused by recessive genes. And Mom, you gave me half of mine." She was silent but I could tell she wasn't reading the paper in front of her anymore. "This is the way I was made. Do you think I would choose this? Why would I choose to be an outcast at this time? When schoolmates aren't very understanding. I'm not searching for a reason to be made fun of and rejected, you know." "Then why do you do it?" My eyes widened. Didn't I just say it? "Because it is the way I am!" I was going to get myself into a whole lot of trouble if I let myself continue on the rampage, but it was like the thing I saw in the mirror last night, the hate, finally had a vent. The vent wasn't violent or hateful, but it was working. Righteous fury, I think I had heard that somewhere before, and I tell you that is what it felt like. "I am not going

26

As soon as we heard the "click" of the door latch we were in each other's arms. I pressed my right cheek to his left and wrapped my arms around his neck. I buried my nose in his feathery hair and inhaled, breathing him in. Did I love Robin? I wasn't sure, but if I didn't then I was sure on my way in a high - speed jet plane. "Oh, I missed you." I whispered. He turned his head and kissed me in front of the ear. I felt a tingle run up my spine and shivered in his arms. "Joey? Joey, I'm sorry." He pushed me away enough to look me in the eyes. "Did I make you feel bailed up?" I blinked. "Did you what?" "You know," he said, "like you had to hold me? Like I...cornered you into it?" It dawned on me that it was another Aussie slang. I laughed, "Sometimes it seems like you speak a different language." "It might be better if I actually did. That way people wouldn't be taking what I say the wrong way." "Such as?" I lifted an eyebrow questioningly. Robin thought for a moment then said, "Well, the other day I called Jack a bastard in public and this old dill scolded me. I didn't know it was an insult in the states." I laughed again and asked what it meant Down Under. "Like dear, or honey here. An affectionate thing." "Please don't call me your bastard, Robin." He giggled and I led him to sit on the couch. "So, tell me more about Aussie - talk." He leaned back against my chest and asked, "Why do you want to know suddenly." "Well for one thing, how am I supposed to know if you are starting a fight with me or trying to be sweet? I'll be trying to cuddle while you'll want to bite my head off." "Hmmm...I wouldn't do that. It's a little harsh." I sighed and continued. "I also told you last night that I want to get to know you more." "Well, you are a baby kangaroo spunk." "I knew that, but what is spunk?" He giggled and sat up on the couch and looked at me mischievously. "Nothing." "Oh, sure!" I rolled onto him and started tickling his sides. "Hey...Hey!" He gasped between laughs. "Okay, okay. It means you're sexy. There, happy?" I kissed him full on the mouth as soon as he had the word "happy" out. I rubbed my tong over the center of his bottom lip where there was a faint scar that was white against his pink lips. He gasped and threw his arms around me, holding me to him and grinding his hips into mine. I felt firmness there through his pants and I felt my own pants getting tighter in that particular area. I broke away and lifted myself on my palms placed on either side of Robin, panting heavily. He looked up at me, worried he had offended me, I presume. "We are going to have trouble with this whole 'going slow' thing, aren't we?" He nodded and smiled. The smile made him look impish and I felt a throb in my underwear because of that smile. "Don't do that I whispered."

"Do what?" His voice had a lilt in it that made my palms sweat and was beginning to drive me crazy. "That," I said. "The naughty little smile. The way your making your voice sound."

I felt Robin's head on my shoulder and felt the comfort of his warm body against mine. "I love you," I whispered. I heard him respond, his voice muffled from his mouth on my jacket, that yes, he loved me too. Turning to him, I lifted his chin slightly, so I could kiss his mouth. It was a small, chaste kiss, but it was enough for me right at that time.

He smiled even wider and lilted his voice even more. "Why not?" "Because," I said through clenched teeth, "I'm on the edge of not being able to control myself." "Oh, poor Joey." He giggled. I love Robin's giggle, but wasn't able to keep the grasp on me that smile and that sound of his voice were. I pulled away from him. "Anyway, Beth's in the house." "Oh," he said sitting up. "Well, do you want to go over to the park with her? We could, you know, play or something." "Sure. Let me go up and tell her." I rushed up the steps, still fully energized from my adrenaline rush when I was lying on top of Robin. "Beth! Oh Beth - ee!" Hey get over it, my sentence had been lifted and I was just making out with my boyfriend. I had a reason to be so cheery. As I reached her door, I tapped on it to the beat of "We Will Rock You." Beth opened her door and I was surprised to see she had changed into jeans and a tee shirt. She was even ready with her shoes on. "Ready?" she asked. I swear I think she has ESP or something. "I heard you talking about the park. I figured we'd do something so I've been dressed for a little while." I nodded; still half surprised, and led the way down the stairs. The park was really just a small playground with two benches and two picnic tables over looking a jungle gym, a merry - go - round, three swings, and a tall corkscrew slide. This was all incased by a tall chain - link fence with two openings on either side that worked as an exit and entrance. I had brought over a soccer ball from my house for Robin and me to kick around incase we got tired of playing with Beth or talking. There were only a few kids playing on the jungle gym today and two mothers gossiping on one bench, occasionally turning their heads to make sure their children hadn't run off or fallen down and cracked their heads. Beth ran for the slide as soon as we passed the fence and were officially in the park. She scrambled up the steep ladder and ducked under a metal bar at the top. "Hey Joey! Robin! Look at me!" she exclaimed as she plopped down on her butt and pushed herself down the slide with her palms. She landed softly on the dirt at the end of the slide and kicked the ground in disgust. "Forget it. I can't do it right today," she called, and began to climb the ladder again. Robin looked at me smiling and asked, "What did she want to do?" I shrugged, "Probably some trick, or something." He nodded and we sat down on the bench about five feet away from the mothers' bench. I instinctively put my arm over his shoulders and didn't quite care when I saw the women on the other bench look at us strangely. At this point I could only think 'get over it.' I liked this. Being with Robin without giving each other sexual pleasure. It felt like I was getting to love him on a more intimate level, as if he were a family member. No, I am not saying Robin felt like my husband at that point, I'm just saying I had a glimpse of what my mom and dad must feel. I liked it. I was loving Robin. I could feel it for sure at that moment we were sitting on the bench together with the breeze tracing our features. It was the wonderful feeling I thought I had experienced earlier, but was just now really feeling it. The feeling was so enormous, I couldn't think about it too long without getting a headache. I raised my hands, exposing my palms. "Okay, okay." I felt like I was going to stutter, but I managed to keep my voice even. Robin had stood and began to retreat to where Beth was swinging, unaware of our plight. This may sound like he was running away to you, but I could tell by the way he was looking over his shoulder to Beth, he was more concerned with getting her the heck out of there if this turned into something physical. The two of them were focused on me now, hardly even paying attention to Robin, let alone Beth. "Okay," I tried to come up with something to say. The problem was I could feel the thing I saw in the mirror escaping, the thing that I had vented productively this morning to my mother. That fiery hate I had seen was trying to come out now, to defend, but this was not a good time for me to be brave. This was not a good time at all Sammy began to banter again. "Okay, what? You gay boy - " " - Shut up!" I was going to get myself killed. I saw Robin the corner of my eye stop and stare, then turned and sprinted to Beth. Mr. Zero and Sammy stood where they were blinking in surprise. This queer-boy dared to tell them to shut up? Zero's mouth popped open and hung limp. I restrained myself from laughing at the thought of a huge bee flying in his mouth. Instead my death sentence came out of my mouth. "Is that an offer, big boy?" I heard myself ask it before I could shut my smart mouth. 'Oh shit' I thought. 'I'm dead.' In an instant, Zero had his hands around my neck, squeezing. My eyes widened and it took me a while to realize I could still breathe. For all his strength, and he had a good deal, he didn't know how to properly choke someone. This made me mad, really mad, rather than frightened. I peeled my lips back from my teeth and felt my face heat up. I could feel my instinct kicking in and I couldn't help myself. In a way, I still wonder if I would have stopped if I could have. I felt myself being lifted up by my neck. Later I would have bruises, but I didn't feel any pain at that time. My feet were off the ground and my lips pulled back more. My leg muscles were taunt and ready, like they always were before a swim match. I saw Zero's face break as he realized I intended to fight and would not give up unless I was unable to move. His face change sealed it. I had heard two voices, and there were two boys behind me. I recognized their dull faces and large builds. They were two years ahead of me in school and were known for their file on "bulling" other students. I believe they also played football. The cold jolt that went down my back chilled me into jumping to my feet and looking much braver than I felt. "Oh," the one with a shirt that had "Mr. Zero" printed on it spoke. "I think he's trying to be some kind of hero for his boyfriend, Sammy." I suddenly realized my own body was betraying me. My natural instinct to protect myself, Robin, and especially Beth made my body take on an image of cockiness. They thought I wasn't afraid of them and I was worried that would tempt them to start in on us more. "Queer boys," a gruff voice came from behind us. I turned to my left, and as I did I noticed that the mothers were gone and they had taken their children with them. Beth was swinging on the middle swing, leaning back with her feet in the air. Her hair floated out behind her and trailed in little golden gleams from her face. "You fuckin' faggots are just disgusting. Doin' that shit in front of the little kids." I felt my hair prickle on the back of my neck. This experience was allowing me to realize that the bodily functions in stories are indeed possible, something I hadn't known before. "Joey..." I felt Robin tighten his grip on my arm as I continued to turn around to look at our agitators.

27

I threw my foot back and brought it forward to Zero's crotch. My foot hit directly and followed through to bring him down in a blow. He let go of my neck and dropped to his knees. I spun away and saw the one Zero called Sammy reaching for me. I ducked out of the way and sprinted to my boyfriend and sister who were halfway out of the exit. Sammy was large and too slow to catch us. As he chased us, he fell farther and farther behind. We ran for my house and reached it without any sign of Sammy. As we fell through the door, I locked it and leaned my back against it, as if I could have been any match for an older hulk of a highschool bully if he broke through the lock. Ha-ha. Fun-NE! I looked at Beth and she was crying silently. I slid down the door onto my knees and took her in my arms leaning my head on her shoulder. "Are you okay?" I whispered. She sniffed and nodded. "I'm fine. I just...I just d - don't understand why..." "Shhh," I cut her off. I looked to Robin for an answer, and he had one. He bent and hugged her from behind, like we were making a Beth sandwich. "People like that don't understand your bro and me being...boyfriends. It's not something they are used to." "But it's dumb!" she bawled into my shirt. "You didn't do anything to them..." I saw Robin look into my eyes and I knew his wore the same question as mine. 'What do you say?'

Do, please, email the authors with your comments. We all love to receive feedback. The story and prior chapters are also published on http://iomfats.org. This story contains explicit descriptions of sexual acts between the characters in it. Although the characters are teenagers who may be below the age of consent in the country or state where this is read, nothing written here should be taken as approval of, or encouragement for, sexual liaisons between people where such liaisons are either illegal, or objectionable for moral reasons. Although this story does not include safe sex practices, it is everyone's own responsibility to themselves and to each other to engage only in PROTECTED SEX. It is a story. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Nothing represented here is based on any fact known to the authors. The story is being written by several authors, each writing a different chapter. This chapter is 2005 by Two Flower. Do, please, email the authors with your comments. We all love to receive feedback. There is a mailing list here for news, among other things, of new stories. To join it or to leave it, please fill out this form:

After it was over, I decided to give Robin a call to make sure he was surviving. The phone rang and rang, and just before I was about to hang up, Jack answered. "Hello?" "Hey Jack. Can I chat to Robin, please?" "What did you do to him today, dickweed? He got home, went to his room, and only came out to eat. He says everything's fine, but I know something's wrong." Well, that was a bad sign. Yeah, I know it's obvious that it wasn't good; I'm just illustrating my line of thinking ok? - call it artistic license. "Jack, I didn't do anything." I was getting to the end of my tether, and I could feel the annoyance creeping into my voice. Everyone always assumed I was in the wrong. Why couldn't people just assume that it wasn't my fault once in a while? Would that be so hard? The only thing that kept me from either hanging up then and there, or snapping at Jack was the fact that Robin was upset. "A group of thugs tried to beat us up in the park today. We managed to get away, but it wasn't what you might call a happy experience." I was damned if I didn't put a hint of sarcasm in my voice. "Shit, man. Sorry to hear that. The way Robin's acting, I thought you dumped him or something. Why do you think he's so upset?" Why indeed. "Well, maybe it has something to do with the fact that every time we try to show affection in public, something bad happens!" Even in private, for that matter. "Maybe it's because he finds a boyfriend who won't hurt him, and the rest of the world pulls the whole 'fuck you!' move on him. Maybe he just wants to spend a time in his life where he doesn't have to worry, or be afraid, or upset." Silence. I wasn't sure if Jack was still there. Then I realized that I had been shouting. Too much pent up frustration. "Sorry Jack, this isn't your fault." Mom poked her head into the room in alarm, but I shooed her away. "It's alright. I see where you're coming from." He sounded sad. I pictured his face looking up at mine, filled with the question 'why Robin? Of all the people on the planet, why does everything bad happen to Robin?' He sounded like he wanted to cry. "Should I come over tomorrow?" Everything not said was implied. There were no extra bits of fluffy conversation here. It was just two people trying desperately to help a third. "I think that would be a great idea. Lets make it a surprise for him. Can you get here by 8?" Freaking hell. 8 on a Sunday morning. But for Robin, I would do anything. "I'll make a plan. Will it be ok with your parents?" "I'll check with them when I'm done here. If you don't hear from me just now, it's fine." "See you tomorrow then?" "Sure. See you then." We were both too emotionally drained to do anything but the bare minimum in that conversation. I decided that I'd better check with my parents, so I headed to the living room where they were watching TV. "Is it OK if I go round to Robin tomorrow? I think he needs me after what happened this afternoon." Because I was on an honesty crusade, I decided to keep no secrets. They would probably have figured it out anyway. Mom shot a warning glance at dad. That wasn't a good sign, but apparently I had nothing to fear. "Sure son. I would have expected nothing less of you." Dad, you really are back. I ran up to him and gave him a hug. Being around him, I was beginning to feel that everything might just work out. It was early, but I went up to bed anyway. If I were going to be at Rob's by 8, I would have to be up early. And I like my beauty sleep, damn it. I set my alarm for 6 to be safe, and tried to get to sleep. But sleep just would not come. It had something to do with sleeping in the afternoon, but that didn't make me feel any better then. I knew that I needed to get to sleep so that I could get up early, but since I wasn't sleeping I was worrying about not sleeping which made it harder to sleep, which prevented me from getting to sleep. Arrrrr!!! Tossing and turning I finally fell into a dreamless, restless slumber. And was awakened by and angry 'beeeep!' from the alarm. A schmaltzy picture of Robin formed in my mind, so I jumped out of bed bleary eyed and got ready to go out. Everyone else was

Subscribe "It's just the way - " I stopped myself. I did not want her learning that. I didn't want to tell her that's the way the world is. I wanted her to be better than that. So I corrected myself. "It's not right. I don't know why, but I know it's not right." Robin's eyes became moist and he bit his lip to hold back the tears. Suddenly I realized what I was in for with this new lifestyle. Being myself was going to be liberating, sure, but at what price? I had only thought before of Robin's and my embarrassment. I never thought about how this would affect people around me. Mom, Dad, Beth, Robin's parents, and Jack. And Amy. Amy who I had trusted for so long, and who never thought twice about being my friend even when she learned I was gay. What would this do to her? Maybe it wouldn't touch her, but it could just the same. Beth detangled herself from the double hug and walked weakly up to her room. She shut the door behind her. I could almost feel her open a book. That was her escape, not a bad one either. Maybe that is one reason she was able to think more maturely than others about my situation. Maybe she was just an angel in my life. Who knows? I knew though, at that point, my sister and I were going to grow up close and would remain very close after we both had lives and families of our own. I would always be different; she would always accept me as that and be a support for the hard times. I turned to Robin and he threw his arms around me and kissed me so hard I would notice my swollen lip later. At the time it was a welcomed embrace. He pulled away and I felt his tears rub against my cheek. "I'm so sorry, Joey. I love you and I never..." "I know," I stroked his hair. "I know." His eyes were glistening and I felt my own betray me as they began to pour. Soundless sobs escaped us both as I led him to my bedroom where we collapsed on the bed in each other's arms. We lay there like that for a long time, silently comforting each other with kisses and caresses. Eventually, we both fell asleep, and I thought in my dreams I heard my mother peep through the door. Warmth covered me and I smelled my throw blanket around my neck. The door creaked a moment later. You are being quiet. I'm not really used to you without your smart - ass remarks. You're making me nervous, so say something...anything... ...Please? Robin, Chapter 10 - A break from the pain by Two Flower This is a work of fiction and so makes use of Spencer Treat Clark only as a fictional character. No implications of any description are made about him except to compliment his looks and personality as being lovely The story is being written by several authors, each writing a different chapter. This chapter is 2005 by Two Flower.

Unsubscribe

Subscribe to IOMfAtS Mailing List

----oooOOOooo---You are still there? That's a relief. I thought you'd gone mute on me for a second there. Annoying as you are, it is good to finally get this off my chest. Okok, I'll carry on. Please . . . just comment every now and then so I don't feel so alone. There's been too much of that in my life. When I woke up, Robin was gone and it was dark. I had a horrified moment where I pictured my mother physically throwing him, kicking and screaming out of the house, but I realized that something like that might just have woken me. I must have slept for ages! Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I went in search of food. By a surprising stroke of luck, it was dinnertime; so I sat down to eat with the rest of the family. "Robin left in quite a rush." Mom said pointedly. Matter of factually? Or was there, perhaps, a hint of worry? "You didn't scare him, did you?" Yeah, ok, it was the wrong thing to say. But hey; after the day I'd had, I didn't need my mother terrorizing my boyfriend. I was lucky that she didn't get upset with my response (although, by gosh on some level she deserved it). "No, he said something about needing to get home, and ran out of the house. Did something happen today that I should know about? Something that shouldn't have happened here?" She did NOT just imply that. I decided to give her a piece of my mind, but before I could explode, Beth plopped onto my lap, looked Lady Macbeth straight in the eyes, and said: "No, mom. Joey and Robin took me to the park to play earlier, and some bullies tried to beat them up. I don't know why! They weren't doing anything to bother anyone . . ." My heart wrenched as I saw tears in her eyes. I hate that she was there when it happened. I hate that she is involved in all of this. Amazing how only then did my dear, loving mother notice the bruises on my neck. "Oh Joey, are you alright? I'll take you to the doctor first thing in the morning . . ." Well, I suppose at least on some level she was still the mom that I spend most of my life growing up with. "I'm fine mom. We managed to get away without any serious damage." I wanted to say that it's the price we pay for being gay, but I didn't want to hurt Beth. I didn't want her to lose her innocence at such a young age. Dinner was rather subdued after that. I'd forgotten my hunger, but I knew if I didn't eat then, I'd be starving later.

28

sleeping when I got to the door, so I left a note. They did say that I could go, so I went. I was actually running early, so I had the time to indulge in a leisurely walk there and think. The previous day's episode had got me thinking. I badly wanted to do something special for and with Robin. Something that would be exclusively ours. That, no matter what happened, would always be a thing that we would remember fondly, and would bring us close together again. The kind of thing you site by the fire on a cold winter's night and say: "hey, remember the time . . .". The concept was there, but the specifics were hazy. I wanted it to be something like spending a week on a desert island, just him and me. Yes, ok, that would never work - no need to crush my fantasy. Sheesh, I know I said you should comment, but you should also know when to shut your pie hole. As I got close to his house, I stored my 'big surprise' idea at the back of mind for future reference. There were more pressing issues to deal with. I got to the door and took a deep breath. Why was I so nervous? Throwing caution to the wind, I knocked on the door. Almost immediately someone started to unlock. Good sign or bad sign? There were eagles flapping around in my stomach. It was Jack. That probably meant it was a good thing. "Um, hi Jack." I shuffled my feet, and looked purposefully at the floor. It's so much easier to be mad at someone over the phone. Funnily enough, he also looked nervous then - like I might just rip his head off again. "Hey Joey - you wanna come in and not stand on the doorstep looking like a beggar?" I suddenly felt relaxed. We did rather need an icebreaker. I wasn't really in the mood for bad jokes though, so I laughed half-heartedly and walked in. "Parents are still sleeping, but they said it's fine for you to get here early. I thought it might be nice for Rob to wake up and have you right there." So that's why he got me out of bed at the crack of dawn! Not a bad idea. "So is it fine if I go to his room now? I don't want your parents to think there is any monkey business . . .?" Well that got a giggle out of him. "No, it's fine. I told them my plan. They think that it will work nicely. Go and get ready for him to wake up, lover boy." With that, he made a face at me. He really is a good buddy. On impulse, I hugged him. I half expected him to pull away, but he accepted, albeit a bit reluctantly. I headed up to Robin's room, and made myself comfortable in a chair by his bead. All the worry and stress was gone from his face while he slept. He looked almost happy. I felt tears coming to my eyes. The only time my lover could be happy was when he was not conscious. The idea for the big surprise came unexpectedly back into my head. I felt my determination burning inside. I will make it happen. And it will be the best time we have ever had together. But it needed to be something especially for Robin. My thoughts scattered as I saw him stir. I edged forward, putting my hand on his check and whispering: "Morning sleepy head." Yeah, ok, you're right. Extremely lame. I'm no great poet, so give me a break. His eyes fluttered open, a surprised look crossing his face and finally he jumped out of bed and into my arms. In hindsight, it must have looked a bit silly, him trailing bedding and jumping semi-clad into my surprised arms. "I don't know why you're here, but I'm so glad that you are. I missed you so much yesterday after I left." He nestled into my embrace like a frightened cat. "Robin? What's wrong? Jack said that you were upset when you got home yesterday." "I . . . hate that we have to hide who we are. I wish that we could just be the same as everyone else. I want to be able to hold you and kiss you in public without being scared that someone will want to hurt us for it." I could feel him breaking down to tears. What can one say to something like that? That was not the time for words anyway. I simply held him and tried to comfort him by saying meaningless words and just being there for him. I let him cry. After a while, the tears began to subside, and his body relaxed. Those were sad tears, but good tears. He had let go, for at least for then, the bad things that had happened to us. I could also hear other people stirring in the house. "Rob, I think it's time to get dressed. I know it's boring, but would you like us to do homework together today?" Yeah, all right! This is my story, so if you think it's so lame, go and listen to someone else's. All right, then behave yourself. "That would be great Joey." His sunshine smile peaked out at me, and for the first time that day I felt happy. He bustled about the room, waking up and getting dressed. We then went down and had breakfast. The rest of the day really wasn't anything special. I knew that he needed me around, so I stayed around. I left late afternoon after we had, miraculously, actually done the work we set out to do.

I lay in bed thinking that night. I was beginning to like this big surprise idea more and more. The summer holiday was coming up, so I wanted to have whatever I planned then. But the question was what. There were all sorts of things that Rob was into, but what specifically would make a wonderful personal gift? Reptiles - he liked reptiles. Get him a pet? No, bad idea. Lets see: he's really into movies. Movies and actors. He has posters of actors all over his bedroom wall. He'd been following someone's progress for a while. Became something of a devoted fan. But who was it? I'd seen the posters all over his room, but I couldn't place a name to the face. Why? Well, smartass, it's because it's some obscure recent actor. Oh yes, the kid who played Luscious in Gladiator. Since I had absolutely no idea what his name was, I decided to do my research online the next day. I didn't know where I was going with that idea, but it would have something to do with the planned adventure. Monday. The devil's day. The worst day of the week, because you know the whole week lies ahead of you, and the weekend is just finished. I turned off the alarm and put my head under the pillow. I didn't want to get out of bed. But then, of course, mom came in. The walk to school sobered me up, because the air was a bit chilly. I caught up to Rob and Jack, we greeted and then Rob told me the news. "I'm going to start learning the piano. It's something I've wanted to do for ages, but because of us having to leave and . . . all the stuff that happened before that, I never got round to it. Are you ok with that? Cause I won't start if you're not. . ." It all came out in quite a rush. He just kept talking. I wasn't altogether sure why my opinion mattered so much to him, but if it was something he wanted to do and it was something that would make him happy, I was all for it. "Stop - hehe! If it's something you want to do, do it. I'm behind you all the way." His eyes glowed. "My parents have found a teacher. I start lessons this evening. I'm so excited - can you picture me as a concert pianist?" He squatted down, and flailed around with his hands, causing Jack and me giggle hopelessly. "Yeah, but not like that." Jack's contribution made me realize how close the three of us have become. We had a quick group hug and continued on to school. I couldn't get that damn surprise idea out of my head. The details were becoming clear, but I would need someone to help me make it work. Just then we saw Amy. "Amy!" I ran over to her and give her a huge bear hug. That day, I was on top of the world. My boyfriend was happy, and I was planning something to make him happier. Monday blues were fading into the background. "What's up with you today? You two have a good night last night, or something?" How can she look so innocent and have such a sharp tongue? "Amy! Not that it's any of your business, but no. Can't a guy be happy once in a while just for the fun of it?" She didn't look convinced. But before she could follow it up, Jack pointed out: "If we don't get going, we'll be late for assembly. You lot can horse around later." Chattering as only good friends can, we headed in for the morning brainwash. Why brainwash? Well, because it's so boring, our brains are washed clean of anything useful. Harhar, smarty pants. Maybe you should just shut up. It was easier to tell the story when you weren't playing the peanut gallery. History was later in the day, so after assembly, Robin and I parted ways. That was my first chance to talk to Amy about my devious scheme. I filled her in quickly about the weekend's happenings, and broached the topic of the surprise. "Do you think it's a good idea? I mean, will he think it's really lame or something?" "Well, I, personally, would think it's totally lame, but I'm not Robin, I think he'll love it. He's just that kind of guy." The disdain was palpable. There still seemed to be no love lost between Amy and Robin. I hate that. I hate that they fight over me.

"Amy, please, please, please try to be nice to him. I know you and him don't get along so well, but do this for me, ok? I really want you two to try to be friends." "Oh alright. I'll be civil. But he has to be polite as well." I suppose that that was the best I would manage to get from her. It's not often that Amy concedes anything. "So how can I pull this off? I know he likes this guy, in a hopeless, besotted fanboy sort of way, but there's no way I can arrange a meeting. You need connection to do something like that, and I ain't got connections." It was beginning to dawn on me, then, after I'd stated what I wanted, that my plan might have been a teensy weensy little bit too complicated. I suppose that it's easier to entertain a possibility if you don't articulate it, since articulating it makes it somehow more real. I felt my euphoria evaporating, and said despondently, "It can't be done, can it?" Amy, however, looked thoughtful. "Well, it just so happens that I might be able to help you there. If you promise to keep this a secret, I'll try to help you out." "I'll promise anything to make this happen. I want to do the biggest, most stupendous thing for Robin this holiday, and I think this is it." Excitement flooded back into me. It was possible - yay! "Talk to me in the lunch break. You'll have to make an excuse to get away, but I think it's definitely possible." Good old Amy. I liked her best like that. The hours to lunch managed somehow to pass, and I gobbled down the food, trying not to look suspicious. Amy ate slowly, probably just to annoy me. I told Rob and Jack that Amy and I needed to go work on a project in the library, and we left. There were so many possible problems with that excuse, but it passed the judges. Rob seemed to be coping with life at that point, which made me want to make my plan work all the more. "Ok, how might you be able to help me - and my lips are sealed." "Weeeeell, my dad has all sorts of connections in the movie business. If I can convince him to pull some strings, you might have yourself a mega surprise. You'll just have to find out what you can about this Luscious character because I sure as hell am not going to. I'll do what I can from there. Give me a call tonight if you want it arranged before summer break, since it's almost summer break." "Thank you soooo much Amy. I owe you big time for this." Another bear hug. That night I headed straight (har har - keep your trap shut) to imdb.com. His name is Spencer Treat (who on earth is called Treat? I mean, what on earth kind of a name is Treat?) Clark. Now, I'm not the kind of guy to worship celebrities. They're just really rich, really famous and really messed up normal people. So I don't see any reason so swoon about them. But if my surprise would give Robin joy, that would be my mission. Apparently this Treat character spends a lot of time in New York. Off to the phone, and I gave my newfound information to Amy. Excitement built with the possibility of actually making the plan work. I couldn't sleep again that night because of it. I'd be tired by the end of the week. Two weeks till the holidays. That was all the time left. That rather vital piece of information only dawned on me as I got ready to go to school. To weeks and so much to organize. Well, there was nothing that I could really do until I knew what Amy had managed to accomplish the previous night, so there was no point in worrying about it. That didn't stop me worrying though. Amy was grinning ear to ear when Rob, Jack and I got to school, so there must have been something good. I tried to look nonchalant as we walked up to her. "How was your piano lesson, Robin?" Holy cow, I forgot about that! I completely forgot to ask him, and now Amy does. If we hadn't just walked up to her, I would have said she was trying to show me up. "Great. Mr. Spiegel is such a nice guy; I know I'll get along well with him. He was the world famous pianist at one stage, but then he was in a terrible car crash, which cost him the use of his right hand. The teaching is a way for him to stay in touch with the music, but I can see the pain in his eyes when he can't demonstrate something with his hand. By the way, Joey, I can't meet you after swimming today. I really gotta get home to practice. I'm so excited about playing the piano! Is it alright if you walk Jack home?" What a stroke of luck. I had a way to introduce a co-conspirator to my maniacal plan. "Sure, fine with me." And with that, we all went about our business for the day. Amy managed to catch me between classes to fill me in on the progress so far: "My dad got in touch with this director guy that he knows. This character is a good friend of a friend of a friend of this Spencer guy's mom's friend's aunt. To cut a long story short, they can't arrange a direct meeting, but someone along the line can get you

29

invited to a party that he will be at. You'll have to work some voodoo to make it work from there, but I got you the opportunity." It was beginning to dawn on me that for all Amy's show of being the tough girl, she had a real soft spot for me. I had one for her as well, and I loved her so much at that moment for all that she had done. "Wow, thank you so so much. How did your dad manage to arrange all that in one night, by the way?" "Well, he had to call this guy anyway, so he mentioned this, and . . . well, never mind. Just be happy that it's arranged. You'll have to be in New York the first weekend of the Summer break - the party is on the Sunday evening. Get your skates on if you want to make this work." Bear hug for Amy. "Thank you a million zillion trillion times. I'd offer to be your slave for life, but you might actually accept!" "Well, just make the trip happen. Blondie needs something to cheer him up." "Hoy! I'm blond as well." The rest of the day passed in a haze of euphoria. I was actually on top of my swimming that day, which I haven't been ever since the trouble started. It was beginning to seem like everything might just be alright. As Jack and I started walking home, I filled him in on the plan so far, and I could see a grin tugging desperately at the edges of his mouth. "You really are head over heals in love with him, aren't you? Well, since this is a completely selfless act for Robin, I'm in. Use me as you will - but not like that." The twinkle in his eye was back, and I tackle him to the ground. We wrestle around for a bit then carry on walking.

Of all the guy friends I thought I had, Jack turned out to be the best. All the others treated me with caution at best after the gay-creature escapade, so I owe Jack so much. We set the details of our plan in stone, and parted ways. I had things I needed to sort out with the parent beings if this is to happen. I sat them down, and explained everything. It felt somehow very clean and pure to be completely open with them, and to my utter astonishment, they were all for the plan. Even the untilrecently-she-beast seemed to back me. Dad even offered to fund the trip - for both of us! Talk about a bonus. Tomorrow I would have plane tickets in hand and the invitation to the party from Amy. There was so much excitement bubbling up inside me. I wanted to literally jump for joy. Which in turn meant that I couldn't sleep again. Just zip it for once. We're getting there. The next two weeks passed in something of a stupor because of my recent lack of sleep, but I was injected with a bucket load of anticipation as the last day drew to a close. Everything was set. Bags were packed and the taxi should be waiting outside the Willaimson's house with all the luggage as we start to walk home. I'd confirmed with Jack that Robin knew nothing, but I knew he knew something was up. I'd been walking on air all day, but I was determined to keep everything a surprise, so as yet he knew nothing. He kept bugging us for details, but Jack, Amy and I were tight lipped. We got to the Williamson's house, and a bewildered Robin had his parents say goodbye to him. I loved the whole atmosphere. He knew by now that it was something special for him, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out what. I loved watching him try to guess. By the time we got to New York, I was exhausted. I just couldn't sleep on the plane. As soon as we got to the hotel room, I flopped onto the bed and was asleep in

seconds. It wasn't a great hotel, but I was going to take what I could get. Everyone had pulled together for me on this one, so I was just happy to be able to make it work. When I woke up, Rob started with the questions, but I was vigilant in my efforts to keep him at bay. All I revealed was that it was happening in the evening, and that he'd have to dress up. We spent what was left of Saturday afternoon exploring the area of New York we were stationed in. It was a bit sleazy, but again, that was the luck of the draw I suppose. We lazed around the hotel room for the most of Sunday, and got ready in good time late in the afternoon. I wanted that evening to be absolutely perfect, so I made sure that we both looked great. It was a black tie affair, so we looked as if we were going to a funeral, but I forced that thought out of my mind. No bad karma. We climbed into the taxi, and I gave the destination. "Ok, spill the beans. What's the big surprise? Unless, of course, you got everyone to come to New York specially for a party for me." He laughed nervously. I love that he thought I might actually have done that - and I decided that one day I would actually do it. Nothing's too big for my Robin. "You'll see. It's a surprise, remember." That got a grumble from him, and a grin from the taxi driver. If only she knew. I was so nervous when we got to the party. I'd planned everything up till this point. Spencer didn't even know of our existence, so how was I going to pull anything off? The possibility that the plan might not work dawned on me, but before I could think it through, we were swept past the guy checking invitations and into the party. And there Spencer was, on the other side of the room, chatting to a group of friends.