Loves laws of nature

Love has three laws of nature and if these are not respected, one can forget about being loved. 1. Love must be shown! Why? How else could others know and feel that they are loved? How could love be returned if you keep it for yourself? But how do you show love? Let us begin with our children. Through physical contact! Through touching them, taking them on the lap, caressing them, comforting them, praising them Natures language of love, and the only one that children understand, is just that: body contact! Toys and computer games are only replacements that the child gladly accepts, but without connecting them with love. Some think that they are good parents only because their children are well dressed and fed and that they give them a good education (and keep the childrens room full of toys). This is merely the material side and only half of the parents duty, and it is for the body. The other half, the one missing, is nearness and physical contact. That is for the soul. In therapeutic regressions, I often experience how the client was physically well fed as a child but starved in the soul and that sets traces for life! It is, of course, hard to show love when it wasnt shown to you as a child. But it can be done! And then one has made a big progress as a human being! Those who repeat the mistakes of their parents have not come very far A partnership relation (married or not) also needs physical contact! Among other things, loving sexuality also belongs with it. If it is left out, is it still a partnership, or merely two sharing a place to live? See below. Friends can also give each other a reasonable amount of body contact. In most of middle and southern Europe and several other cultures it is considered normal to kiss a woman on the cheeks when meeting privately and to give a friend a brief hug (some might be prejudiced to see that as a homosexual approach, which it is normally not meant to be). Some cultures and circles, however, have problems with that, which is regrettable. 2. Love needs nutrition to survive! Why? It gets nutrition through exchange of love energy with others. If it flows mainly in one direction and little returns, it can wither and die like a plant that gets no water. Only spiritually developed persons can love in spite of that, even though a partnership relation may fail for that reason. The most destructive form is the so called possessive love that is no love at all, but mere selfishness and often a fear to lose someone, which one will certainly do that way. There is hardly a better way to kill love than to be possessive! Love needs sufficient free space and freedom to thrive. If it becomes too narrow around, it suffocates. 3. You dont get more love than you give! Why? See above! It may work for a limited time but not in the long run. Who gives little, gets little. Who gives no love has to be without it and may die lonely and bitter. The only way to be loved is to give love. People like to say that love has no price, but in a certain way it does: the price is your (shown!) love. In normal cases, shown love is returned. If not, the reason will be immaturity and being selfrestrained of the other person, and then one will find love somewhere else! How can anyone be so narrow-minded to believe that one can get what one doesnt give oneself? Many dont dare to take the first step and they may have to wait for another incarnation to really experience love It always pays to take the first step. Either nothing is returned, and then you are

free from an illusion and can instead find love where it really is. Or you get the love back that you may otherwise never have had. The psychology of sexuality Sexuality has an important function in a partnership relation as an especially intimate form of physical contact. It has the following more or less unconscious psychological rules: For the woman: If you dont love me, I cant have sex with you. For the man: If you dont have sex with me, I cant love you. Here some couples run into a vicious circle The man has to understand that the woman needs to first feel loved through having it showed to her (and not just before he wants to go to bed with her, because it doesnt work that easily!). The woman needs to understand that a man never feels more loved than when his woman enjoys sex with him. If a couple has got into a vicious circle here, they need to meet half way. This is, of course, more or less pronounced for some more, for others less. In a same-sex relationship it will be accordingly, since usually one is more feminine and the other more masculine. There are, of course, women who enjoy sex even if they never meet the other person again and it wasnt real love. Regrettably, many men mainly seek physical satisfaction without letting love be much of a part of it, but they dont know what they miss, since loving sexuality is so much more. (Some also seek confirmation of a self-confidence they in that case obviously dont have.) Our media society enhances sexuality by all means, not the least through subliminal messages. Advertisements, for example, very often contain something that unconsciously stimulates sexually in order to make you buy something. In some manner, sexuality has become a kind of replacement for love! A substitute for what love really is and not as one of the high points of love. This is most regrettable... And it hasnt become better through efforts of various religions to drag sexuality in the dirt, as if it would be a big sin! (I understand the latter as psychological tactics for making us feel as sinners and become easier to manipulate by a religious mafia.) Further comments There are those who seek a perfect partner that doesnt exist. It is, instead, a matter of being able to accept him or her with all flaws that he or she has, since one will certainly not have less oneself! The flaws that disturb us most with the partner are those that we have ourselves but dont want to admit. Other flaws disturb us much less. Some hope to be able to change the partner, and when one tries, the relationship begins to deteriorate. One can only change oneself! Here, too, it is a matter of daring to take the first step and one may then hope that the partner will follow the example. Shown love (and understanding) can help him or her to begin to change himself (or herself), but never a demanding attitude. Dominance can also be destructive. You must do so... and not so... with an undertone of I know what is best for you is something no one can support in the long run. Also not You should (have).... You can usually not really know what is the best for your partner, but only what would be better for yourself that the he or she does. And to say it that way rather creates resistance. What would then be better for the partner that you do? Equality in value is necessary. Regrettably, many patriarchally infected men have an (at least unconscious) attitude, as if women would be worth less, which is destructive in a partnership. It is equally destructive when a woman (at least unconsciously) makes men feel that they would be worth less. Regrettably, this is often connected with cultural prejudice and medieval mentality. Such partnerships will not have good chances for the future. In an interesting regression I did with a psychiatrist many years ago, this person got the following message from the higher self (repeated in my words from memory): Men who were to little loved by their mothers have like a harder shell and easier fall victims to seductive women. This has in several cases been confirmed as one reason (among other!) why some persons (mainly men)

repeatedly are unfaithful. They unconsciously seek the body contact with the mother that they didnt have (or maybe with the father in cases of women)! They dont find it with the partner and then seek it with others. They dont find it there, either, because none of them is the mother and they are not conscious of what they are really seeking... So they continue to seek in vain. In one case that I had recently, the problem of feeling attracted to other women, and with that of the distrust of his wife, was solved through clarifying this in the regression. Many men (and some women) have in their childhood unconsciously begun to believe that they must first achieve something before they can get love. The believe (still, unconsciously) that they would otherwise not deserve to be loved. They sought love and nearness from the parents and were given something that seemed to be love after an achievement (but it wasnt real love, because that doesnt require any achievement!). They grow up and marry, but all the time strive for more achievement and career in the job, in business, in science, etc., because otherwise I dont deserve the love of my wife (as always, of course, unconsciously). They could become workaholics. The relationship then often fails, because one doesnt enough there for the partner, since one has too little time for that... Unconscious affirmative patterns in partnership relations One example. A woman has a husband who is repeatedly unfaithful. She divorces and remarries. The new husband with time turns out to be unfaithful, too. She (at least unconsciously) is afraid of getting such a husband, maybe since she in her childhood had such a father and witnessed repeated conflicts about this between the parents. Or maybe since her first relationship and she became afraid that it would happen to her again. Fear attracts the danger. It then is as if the person is unconsciously fixated to men who are potentially unfaithful and, therefore, finds another one like that. They dont see all those who are very unlikely to become unfaithful and just pass them by. The soul sees what the eyes cannot see... One may ask why it is obviously so easy for men to find an extramarital relationship. Why are so many women open for that? Because they dont want to bind themselves, and the married man is already bound. In that manner they can have a relationship and still feel free... They are probably unconsciously afraid of binding themselves and then unconsciously seek a partner (as stated above: the soul sees more than the eyes...) only to some time later find out that he is married. Another example. A woman has a husband who becomes an alcoholic. She divorces and remarries. After a few years, the new husband also begins to drink too much. The same thing here for a similar reason. Or a man has a wife who is more interested in his credit card than his love (and believes that love is getting anything material that you wish). He divorces and remarries. Later on he experiences the same with the other wife. There is in such cases a tendency for generalization to all men or women, and thus unconsciously seeking confirmation. In the first case on says to oneself (of course still more or less unconsciously) that all men are unfaithful. One doesnt believe that faithful men exist. And when it happens (again), on unconsciously says to oneself: I knew that. Men are that way! and one has unconsciously confirmed oneself to be right and reinforced that belief, so that it happens still more easily next time... It becomes like a vicious circle. In the last example: I knew that. Women cant love, they only want money. The cause can also be in a past life. Here, karma may play a role. In that case one may to day have to experience what it is like to have a partner of a kind that one was oneself as a partner, in another life. It may also happen that the two in a past life were, e.g., enemies and to day are together to reconcile on the soul level (which then is also unconscious). That is, after all, how karma works... The possessive mother This case is more common with mothers, and that is why I write it this way. But there are also fathers who behave correspondingly. The mother tries to more or less hinder that a son or a

daughter marries and has an own family. No girl is good enough for the son and no boy is a good match for the daughter. The mother isnt satisfied with anyone her child meets (and judges them mainly materially without considering love). If the son or the daughter should nevertheless marry, she becomes the typical mother-in-law we know from novels, movies and jokes. She wants to rule the family of the son or the daughter and takes possession of their children. The partner comes second and the mother first. She seeks to buy the love of the grandchildren with toys and sweets. This very destructive influence not rarely ends in divorce (I married you and not your mother!), and then she is satisfied and she will, of course, take still more possession of the children, because the daughter has to work, or, resp., the son should have no more contact with the ex (in case the mother still maintains control over the grandchildren, since they have the right to see the father). She talks badly about the ex, often already when they are together. Why does she behave like that? The answer is that she (at least unconsciously) sees her child as an investment for when she gets old. Because she has done everything for her child and now expects that the child will do everything for her when she is old. It should, therefore, do without an own family, because it would otherwise be as if she would loose her investment. But has she really done everything? Materially probably: yes. But not for the soul of the child! She didnt give it real nearness and love and, therefore, has no right for such a demand! If one can talk about right in this respect, it is forfeited by her not giving her child true love. Maybe she actually didnt love her child, because she had to renounce (that is how she feels about it) many things in life for it studies, career, or she had to marry a man she didnt really want. The child wasnt welcome, but it did come, and now she unconsciously seeks revenge and punishment At least in her unconscious self she says: After all that I had to renounce because of you, you will now have to care for me when I get old. Here the son or daughter has to take the courage to say NO! To keep her out of the own family and let the partner be more important than the mother, who in this case doesnt deserve more. The mother then tries to make her child have feelings of guilt, but one should not play that game with her, since this is mere tactics. Of course not all mothers are like that! But they then have children in less need for therapy, who have other things to deal with in regressions. A truly loving mother acts differently. She has given her child true nearness and love and is now glad to let it have an own family, because that way she has one child more: the daughter- or son-inlaw. She enjoys seeing their family life but stays back enough to not interfere in their relationship. She will certainly not loose her son or daughter, who in this case really loves her, too, and likes to visit and invite her. Thus she has full attention, when old, and is not left alone. This attention is real and not forced and that mother deserves it. In one case that I had it was quite extreme. Of course, no man was good enough for the daughter and when she wanted to go on holidays with a man, the mother always became sick, so that she had to stay home! Such a cruel game had to find an end, of course, in that the daughter found her own apartment and now could say NO! And make herself free from feelings of guilt that the mother wanted to give her. That is what we in such cases strive for in regressions. When the mother has a few children, it is not rare that one of them should take on the role to care for her when she gets old. The others may marry and have families and are, of course, satisfied that they are free from a responsibility and supports the mother in giving it to the chosen child, and themselves thus egoistically takes part in the egoistic game of the mother. The escape marriage This mainly happens to young women and almost grown up girls. They want at any price to get out of the parents home, where they only experience arguments, fights, strictness and lack of love. They marry the first one they can get, only to get out of this and not out of love. They dont dare to try it without marrying, because: How could I manage? What should I live from? Such a marriage

begins badly and usually ends worse. Then she is alone, anyway, maybe with a child. Boys usually have less existential fear and dont so easily get into such a situation. The worst case is when a woman has herself made pregnant to force a man to marry her. Even though it isnt conscious for him, the man knows in his unconscious self that he is betrayed, and it will probably not end well. The very worst (and stupid) case is when she makes him believe that the child is his, but it isnt. That is also something he knows in his unconscious self, and it poisons the marriage. Furthermore, the innocent child will probably suffer from it. My advice to young people based on multiple experience with regression clients, where we were dealing with such things. Some (maybe mothers...) may not like these words, but they are well meant for cases, in which above mentioned problems could arise (and for a western-style liberal culture).

Never marry without love. Never get involved in unprotected sex, unless both want a child. It is better to be an unmarried mother that to live in a horrible marriage. That is in no way a shame for the woman, but only for those, who have old-fashioned prejudice. If a girl tells you that you made her pregnant and you have good reasons to doubt it, request a DNA test. Too many had to pay during two decades for a child that wasnt theirs (the number of unknown cases will not be small) If the girl really loves you, she will understand it, and if she is right, she has nothing to fear. But if she gets furious, this could be suspicious and then one more reason to be cautious (if she refuses the test, it will for legal reasons be better to deny fatherhood as long as it isnt proven). In an uncertain case, marry only after such a test, if it is confirmative and there is love. Or you may adopt the child as your own, which is a reasonable solution when there is love (but, regrettably, few men would be mature enough for that). If you dont marry the girl but the child is yours: do fulfill your duties as a father and give the child your love anyway! If you are the girl and he denies fatherhood, you should demand a DNA test and not let him get away with it (if he really is the father)! If he refuses, he just makes himself more suspicious. Dont let your parents decide over your relationship and keep them out of your marriage, if they dont respect your privacy. In a marriage, the wife comes before the mother and the husband before the father. To day, you dont have to marry to live together (at least in less suppressive cultures) And no one has to marry to day. These times are gone.

Love for fellow men and women Above we were mainly dealing with love in a partnership relation or between parents and children. That is where we more closely experience it or miss it... But love has much wider aspects. Jesus talked about it a lot, but for the Church it is quite obviously rather a matter of love for the brothers and sisters within the Church (and for the Church), but hardly for anyone outside... Did Jesus teach us that? Not at all! Jesus probably didnt want a Church, but a community. He told us that we are all brothers and sisters in the creation, without any exception! Irrespective of color, origin, nationality. culture, religion, sexual preference, and so on. There is no single person on this planet (and actually also not among extraterrestrials) who isnt our brother or sister. We are all created together (but possibly not simultaneously). Not or bodies, but our souls. We may be standing on different steps on the staircase of spiritual development, but that in no way means that the one is worth more or less than the other. The aim for the spiritual development in the soul-school of reincarnation is that we finally understand and live that! Only then have we reached the most important condition for not having to reincarnate again... Another condition (there may be more) is that we have achieved all reconciliations needed and there is no soul left, with which we still have to reconcile (cf. above; the one we love, we may meet again, but the one we hate, we have to meet again). One effective lesson in that school is to next time be born as a person of the kind you despise to day (e.g., colored or whatever), or in a country you have prejudice about to day or maybe even regard as an enemy country. It is not rare that a soldier who dies in a war is born again on the other side of the front. Women who despise men and men who despise women can expect to change sex for the next life.

Indeed, we become ourselves what we to day discriminate, dislike or even despise! This is an experience in regressions that keeps repeating again and again...