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THE NATIONAL

Obama could have


read a telephone

STUDENT
directory and the
stadium would still
have swelled up
in a frenzy of sign-
waving and
‘Yes We Cans’
Page 14
FREE October 2008
Pesky
armadillos!
Meddling Page 17
with history...

‘Nazi’ INDUCTION
Degrading sports society initiation rituals exposed as bizarre plastic bag procession video comes to light

probe

The University of perpetuate unacceptable


Gloucestershire is investigating a intimidatory and coercive
video of a bizarre and sickening practices in line with
initiation ceremony. the university’s Student
The video shows victims Charter,” he added.
paraded around, with carrier James Durant,
bags on their heads, by a student president of
dressed in a Nazi-style uniform. Gloucestershire
The ‘Nazi officer’ walks up and University Students’
down the line while students are Union, was quick to
encouraged to drink and many condemn the footage, “The
are seen vomiting. Students’ Union does not
The footage was filmed by support initiation ceremonies and ceremonies are common-place
Natalie Sutton, a broadcast they have been banned on campus with first-year students being
journalism student at the for many years.” made to do ‘anything you are told’
university, outside her home in “We go to great lengths to by the senior students.
Cheltenham. ensure our sports captains Natalie Sutton, 20, who shot
She used the film as part of a understand that initiation events the footage, experienced a
university assignment. that include intimidating or degrading entrance ritual of her
The university are now trying bullying behaviour will not be own. During her hockey initiation
to identify the people involved in tolerated.” ceremony she was forced to put
the video. “Many initiation-style events fish in her bra and then eat it.
Paul Drake, director of do not involve alcohol or extreme She added: “I had to go to
communications, said: “We are behaviour. But there may be the toilet in a bucket in a dark
shocked by the content of this film exceptions, and if they are basement, which was full of other
and take the issue of intimidation brought to our attention, such people’s urine. People were crying
and bullying during initiation as the case here, we take it very and vomiting.”
ceremonies extremely seriously”. seriously and will be launching Another, Nick Levy, said that
Rik Mayall - University of Exeter - Wednesday July 9 “Disciplinary action may be a formal investigation with the during his ceremony he was told
That’s Doctor Rik Mayall to you... Class of 2008, pages 8 + 9 brought against those who are university,” he said. to drink excessively and then run
found to be leading initiation Talking to students on campus naked through Cheltenham.
ceremonies and who continue to the BBC was told how these Continued on page 4

Liberally speaking - Nick Clegg - page 11 Initiations at your uni? - Have your say: news@thenationalstudent.co.uk
The National Student, October 2008

2 UK NEWS
The National Student Web textbook site launches
welcomes all contributions.

The National Student works


closely with student
publications across the UK.

We are happy to accept


news, comment, features,
and reviews on any subject.

Contact us at:
The National Student
58 High Street
Lincoln
LN5 8AH
A Coventry student is access to the internet, this
or email launching an innovative coupled with the increasing
editor@thenationalstudent.co.uk online text-book service next technology minded youth of
month. today, outlines the need for
Second-year business the publishing industry to
or phone student Oliver Parnell is take into account the changing
0845 46 300 46 opening the virtual doors perceptions of its key market,
on Techbook, which is and to facilitate in the offering
The National Student is
the independent, monthy
newspaper for higher
offering students the chance
to download their course
textbooks straight off the
internet, direct to their
of new services, much like the
one offered by TechBook.
The company is currently
working to secure contracts
WHAT ABOUT MONEY?
Whether you’re a fresher or in your
education students in computers. with major publishing final year, now is a good time to take
the UK. Techbook offers 24-hour companies and aims to add
control of your money, but sometimes
access to textbooks from new titles to their catalogue
some of the biggest names on a regular basis. it’s difficult to know where to start.
Published by
in academic publishing and Parnell added, “We want The Financial Services Authority
Defender Newspapers,
saves customers money on to design a service where (FSA) have launched a new impartial
58 High Street shipping costs. minimal effort is needed financial information website telling
Lincoln LN5 8AH. Parnell believes the site by the user, where their
offers many advantages, needs and requirements are you all you need to know to help you
“Not only will students have instantly recognised and with your money.
© 2008
greater accessibility, but they fulfilled, we want to establish The FSA say that the new site,
All content is the copyright
will also be saving money a loyal customer base which whataboutmoney.info cuts through all
of Defender Newspapers and having greater search will hopefully feel comfortable
unless otherwise stated the jargon and pulls together all the
facilities on textbooks.” to use the service throughout
A survey carried out in their educational careers.” information you need in one place, so it
thenationalstudent.co.uk march 2008 shows that 88% really could be worth a visit.
of students surveyed own Visit the site at whataboutmoney.info
a laptop and have regular techbooks4students.co.uk
The National Student, October 2008

UK NEWS 3

News Call for Christian


in brief university in UK
NUS VP faces jail in Iran
An NUS representative Britain should get an American-style Christian
is being tried in Iran and University where students study the bible alongside
faces up to eleven years mainstream arts and humanities subjects according
imprisonment. to a leading Christian think-tank.
Honorary Vice-President Higher education institutions in the UK, such as
Anooshe Azadbar is the Oxbridge colleges, have religious foundations but
charged with plotting there is no university run on dogmatically Christian
against the Islamic
lines.
regime, plotting against
the Islamic order and Nigel Paterson, an English lecturer at Winchester
acting against the Iranian University argues that Christian universities have
national interest by being their place in higher education and that a country
part of a left-wing group. with a well-established Christian community would
Azadbar played a
prominent part in planning be “enriched” by the presence of at least two or three
an anti-war demonstration Christian universities, where students would use the
at the University of Tehran Bible as a work of reference in all courses.
in December last year. She However he admits that there can be problems with
was arrested together with
such institutions, with their being fierce opposition
28 other students three
days before the protest from the country’s atheists such as Oxford Don Dr.
was set to take place. Richard Dawkins.
The action was planned Dr. Paterson writes, “There is ample reason for
for December 7 the annual continued use of the Bible within academia. It is a
Student Day at the
university, a day which book that has deeply enriched Western imagination
has traditionally attracted and thought. Many European towns and cities would
protests. be robbed of some of their finest buildings if those
Azadbar is said to inspired by the Bible were removed, and that is just
have made claims of
being tortured and being an outward picture of this book’s great impact on
put under psychological Western culture.”
pressure during her 50 He argues that theology used to be considered the Psychology student Dan Driver has become the
day imprisonment. She ‘queen of sciences’ at universities.
has denied all charges, first person to run the length of Britain solo.
He adds, “In a Christian university, it can be both
claiming the protest
was a legal student accorded its important place among academic subjects He ran the 875 mile route in just 17 days
demonstration against and engaged in ways that serve the church and the between July 7 and July 24.
the threat of war, and not world. Beyond those studying theology, there can be His trek raised £3,000 for Cancer Research UK.
against the regime. a widely-shared acceptance in a Christian university
that there is a religious dimension to life which merits Find out more at:
Loughborough on top
respect and academic scrutiny.” therunner.org
L o u g hb o r o u g h

Mullan cleared of racism


University has been
crowned University of the
Year in the annual Sunday
Times University Guide.
Recent graduates of Kings College London put into whether they want unresponsive to The
the university aren’t Students’ Union President such ‘undesirables’ at the National Student’s requests
surprised by its recent Chris Mullan has been university.” for comment.
success. Jamie Thompson, cleared by the NUS of But student officers said In an official statement,
23, claimed: “It’s just a making racist comments at that Ribeiro-Addy, who was released after the end of the
fantastic community spirit a training event over the not at the event, spread a NUS investigation, Mullan
there. Being a campus summer. false version of events. LSE said: “I would like to now
university, everyone knows As reported in our Student Union General make it clear what I was
everyone and there’s a real September issue Mullan Secretary Aled Fisher said: talking about. Since I am
sense that you’re a part of was under investigation for “During the role play, Chris from London, and represent
something special.” allegedly racist comments asked a question: ‘Given a London university, I could
made at an event at the the increase in knife crime not have failed to notice the
50% of students University of York in in the area, if we’re going recent reported increase
funded by parents August. to widen participation, are in knife attacks on young
More than half of An investigation into the you going to install a metal people over the summer.
students have help from event by the NUS has found detector?’ He did not use the I have genuine concerns
their parents to pay their Mullan not guilty of racism, phrase ‘black people’ at all. that at some point a King’s
way through university a
but the KCLSU Board of Everyone was very involved student may get attacked. I
survey has revealed.
The research by Trustees has suspended in the role play at the time felt it prudent to raise the
Coffee Lover

Halifax found that him pending the outcome on and it wasn’t obvious that it issue of funding to protect
parents are helping 53% internal investigation. caused offence. those people who wanted to
of students at university “On the basis of the “In no way did he say study, from those carrying
with the cost of fees,
accommodation and living information provided the black people. At the time guns and knives, at any
costs. Grandparents are Trustees have decided to no officer seemed to react university in the country.”
helping 5% of students suspend Chris Mullan on into another allegedly said: “At an NUS training to it other than ‘Oh, it’s just “This was a discussion
out with their costs. full pay under KCLSU’s racist incident involving event, Chris Mullan, Chris being Chris.’ I just only about security on any
On asking 60,000 employment procedures Craig Cox, Education President of Kings College didn’t think twice about it, campus, anywhere. The
students Halifax found
that the largest proportion pending a full inquiry,” said Officer of the University of London Students Union to be honest. We were all so only people I referred to as
of student funding came the board. Nottingham is ongoing. It questioned encouraging into the role play.” undesirable on a campus
from their families. Asked why an is said that Cox held up a more students from the “Later there were people were any persons who
Students in their third investigation was necessary poster saying ‘Bring Back local Black community to walking around upset, but carried a gun or a knife.”
year of study were more
after the NUS cleared Slavery’ in order to ‘wind attend a university, as he there was a lot of confusion. “I firmly believe I have a
likely to receive funding
from their parents, with Mullan, KCLSU said: “The up’ participants. thought the presence of such It was very unclear even duty to do the best for all
just over three-fifths statement released by the Regarding the allegations students would increase at the time what had students, and that means
(61%) of them receiving NUS implies that there is against Mullan, NUS Black gun and knife crime and so happened,” he added. asking questions relating
help compared with only Students Officer Bellavia require more security. He
an appeals process which Since the original to their safety, which is in
half (50%) in the first
year. we cannot prejudice.” Ribeiro-Addy, in an email then went on to say that allegations were made truth all that I have done,”
The NUS investigation sent around student unions there should be thought Ribeiro-Addy has been he added.
The National Student, October 2008

4 UK NEWS

Initiations: Alcohol,
Advertorial

KTP: leading the way in


employment for graduates Nudity and Abuse
Still looking for that ideal graduate job? Well, look no further: The shocking footage of a sport
club initiation at the University of
item of clothing from an opposition
team or drinking a pint of vomit, task
KTP recruits for hundreds of high calibre graduates every year. Gloucestershire has provided much performance has always played a key
needed evidence of the shadowy world role in initiation ceremonies,” explains
Looking for a job after of hazing at UK’s universities. the report. Task performance highlights
graduating can be a daunting Despite the fact that these events just how far an individual is prepared to
prospect. Even if you know occur is common knowledge, there is go for the team; although participation
which direction you want to little solid evidence as to the extent of in these events is not a real consent to
take your career in, how do these initiations and what they entail, willingness as the social repercussions
you know whether the job with many societies and clubs keeping of failing to participate will lead to social
you apply for will really give the details of them close to their chest. exclusion at a time when initiates are
you the level of training and One report compiled at the University striving for group acceptance.
of Southampton in 2004, provides a This kind of activity is said by the
experience that’s so important
good insight into the world of student report to create as many divisions as it
in those first few years?
initiations. does unity with the team structure.
One way you can be sure, Probably the most worrying is the
Taking answers from 199 students
is by applying for a job with the findings help highlight the whys and common-occurrence of ‘Physical and
KTP. The government-funded wherefores of this worrying tradition. Psychological abuse’. The report states
programme is one of the Not surprisingly 100% of the that, “Those conducting the ceremonies
largest graduate recruitment respondents said that the consumption often resort to verbal or physical abuse
programmes across Europe. of alcohol was a central part of initiation in order to humiliate an initiate in
would benefit you. Training and regional/national KTP
A KTP is a three-way ceremonies. Other aspects included order to ensure the recognition of the
modules cover people skills, management. There are also hierarchal structure. Psychological
project between a graduate, ‘nudity’ (44.5%) and ‘physical activities’
people management, career about 400 other graduates (22%). Worryingly the respondents also abuse can leave as many scars as purely
a company and an academic
development and business in the same position as you! highlighted ‘physical abuse’ (22%) and physical violence and often these actions
institution (University
leadership, as well as job- Regular KTP residential even ‘sexual abuse’ (14%) as being part are borne out of a need for revenge for
or college). Basically,
specific technical training. courses plus an online forum of their initiation experiences. humiliations which those conducting the
graduates are recruited to ceremony experienced. Physical violence
All graduates can also study means that there’s a real The report explains that initiations
manage strategic projects, usually feature one or more categories of often involves beatings with items such
a diploma in management. sense of community.
whilst being supported by ritual. as hockey sticks, cricket bats or studded
Many graduates go on to
a dedicated academic base. The first, ‘consumption’, sees initiates boots, all of which leave physical as well
continue their studies further Career Benefits
KTP works across a wide often being forced to “consume all as psychological damage on initiates.”
during the KTP. Last year, KTP projects last anywhere
range of academic disciplines manner of unpleasant concoctions” and Those who defend the initiation
21% registered for post- from one year to three years,
and industry sectors, and any that “levels of alcohol consumption are ceremonies say that they are important to
graduate qualifications and in so what about life after KTP? help build team relationships and trust,
degree subject is considered. usually excessive”.
addition, 50 recruits holding Well, around 78% of graduates It also indicates the use of so-called those who answered the questionnaire
Your KTP might be recipe
higher degrees registered for are offered employment ‘dirty pints’ which either contain a seem to have a different opinion with 89%
development for a leading
further post-graduate work. with their host company on mixture of several alcoholic beverages stating that they are simply to ‘humiliate
food company, or developing
completion of their projects. or other added ingredients ranging from freshers’. Just 17.6% believed that they
marketing campaigns ‘promote team building’ and a mere 10%
Benefits Of the remaining, many go on chilli’s and sun tan lotion to vomit and
to reach the socially urine. thought it ensured ‘commitment to the
The essential benefit of KTP is to achieve great jobs using the
disadvantaged or researching ‘Ritualised Nudity’ is also common, team’.
the opportunity to start work skills and experiences learnt
new technologies for “whether it be running naked through Of the 74% of student respondents who
at a managerial level. The during the KTP.
environmental sustainability. the pub or placing ones genitalia in a had been part of an initiation ceremony
whole premise of a KTP is that
The opportunities are huge. beverage, nudity is only amusing to 80.5% were given no choice of whether to
the company needs someone Who should apply?
those conducting the ceremony,” says partake or not and 61% were pressurised
to manage a specific, strategic If you want to apply your by their peers to join-in.
Training the report. Local residents associations
project, so from the outset degree, start a ‘real’ job frequently report naked members of Despite evidence and seemingly
All graduates get to spend
you’re tasked with delivery. straight away and gain a sports teams wandering the streets in common-knowledge of the extreme
around 10% of their time
Although that might sound professional qualification, the early hours of the morning. Indecent humiliation of these events, this does
in training and personal
daunting, remember you’ve then KTP is what you’re exposure is a criminal offence. not put students off joining sports clubs
development, and at the where they know an initiation would
got a dedicated University looking for. ‘Task performance’ has always played
start of the KTP you’re a key role in initiations and is extremely take place. 92.5% said they were not put
Supervisor, ready to help and You should be inquisitive,
given a training budget to common. “Whether it is swimming off joining because of fear of initiations
advise whenever you need bright and serious about
manage – so you get to decide naked in the fish pond, stealing an and the conduct of members.
them. Graduates also benefit getting ahead. Only the most
which courses you think
from a local KTP Office able graduates need apply.

Continued from front page NUS has called for a total ban on
He added: “We had to put matches initiation ceremonies.
in private, inappropriate areas and set NUS President Wes Streeting told The
them on fire whilst drinking more beer. National Student: “We are totally opposed
I did it to be accepted by the older guys to student initiations.”
at the time.” “They put students at serious risk and
“It was a bit tormenting, but if you exclude students who don’t want to take
didn’t do it you would get called a wuss,” part in that binge-drinking culture,” he
he said. added.
Students said that the possibility of Welfare charity YouthNet warned that
being subjected to such rituals is putting many students often feel pressurised
some off joining sports clubs. by their peers when first starting
Initiation ceremonies have resulted university.
in the death of at least three British Chief executive Fiona Dawe said,
students. “It’s essential that young people feel
In November 2006, first-year Exeter able to speak out if they feel pressure to
student Gavin Britton died from alcohol participate in or be party to inappropriate
poisoning after drinking four vodkas, or bullying activity during Fresher’s week.
three pints of cider, a glass of wine and “Starting university can be a stressful as
numerous Sambucas before downing a well as an exciting time for young people -
pint of spirits as part of an initiation to and our latest research proves that many
join Exeter University’s Golf Club. feel more pressure than ever.”
This death saw many institutions “In fact fear of not being good enough
placing a formal ban on initiations. and not making friends were cited as
Another student, 18-year-old Alex major concerns by young people, so it’s
Doji, died in an initiation ceremony at essential that they know where they can
Staffordshire University after choking on turn to for help, advice and support,” she
his own vomit in 2003. added.
The National Student, October 2008

UK NEWS 5

Essentials Transgender Toilets


What were the ‘essential’ items that simply had to
accompany you to university? Laptop, mobile, mp3 player? Loo signs of the times at the University of Manchester cause a stir on campus and in the media
Yeah, so far, so obvious. What else? Your Frisbee perhaps…?
No?!? Oh how times have changed!
Student life clearly isn’t what it used to be… and a new Toilets to suit transgender people Student Direct Editor
survey about our top five items shows just how different have been created by a student union Susannah Birkwood told the
things are. that has labelled its facilities ‘toilets’ BBC: “The toilets have been
Orange asked 500 freshers and 500 ex-university students and ‘toilets with urinals’ rather than provided for men who don’t
from 15 years ago to see what they packed for uni. Beer is a ‘ladies’ and ‘gents’. self identify as men and women
perennial favourite and remains triumphantly on the list but The signage has been altered on who don’t think of themselves
the arrival of the mobile phone means that the phone card no loos in the University of Manchester as women. Whether or not this
longer gets a look in.
Student Union building sparking is political correctness gone

Top 5 Student Essentials debate amongst the local student


community and the wider media.
mad… It certainly seems that
way to some members of our

1993 2008
Where the sign on the door of student community.”
the Gents would traditionally read Reactions to the signs have
‘Gents’ a replacement temporary highlighted confusion in some
sign now says ‘toilets with urinals’. people’s grasp of the issue; with
The necessarium next door no a number of students mistakenly

1
longer carries its restrictive referring to the news in terms of
‘Ladies’ label and instead simply sexuality.
declares ‘toilets’. The Students’ Jennie Killip clarified the
Union claim the move will make matter for the BBC: “If you were
the lavatories more inclusive for born female, still present quite
transgender students and help feminine, but define as a man you
to tackle transphobia. should be able to go into the men’s
The toilets are outside a club toilets - if that’s how you define.
in the basement of the Steve You don’t necessarily have had to

2 Biko Student Union building,


on Oxford Road, Manchester.
Permanent signs are expected
have gender reassignment surgery,
but you could just define yourself
as a man, feel very masculine in
to replace the current temporary have any facilities for yourself, feel that in fact being a
ones in due course. them.” woman is not who you are.”
Jennie Killip, SU Women’s Officer, The re-classification of the toilets She added, “I think the term
proposed the new toilet signage has been met with varied responses ‘political correctness gone mad’ is
following complaints received from including praise, confusion and politically incorrect in itself”

3
transgender students. She said: scorn. The University of Manchester’s
“The idea is that transgender people Manchester paper Student Direct population exceeds 35,000 students;
feel more comfortable using their drew criticism after publishing no figures on the number of
student union. Transgender people an editorial questioning the toilet transgender students enrolled
can face violence and abuse when terminology, prompting Ms Killip at the university are available.
they go into toilets and we wanted to and 60 other signatories to pen a The students’ union welfare office
provide a place where they can feel letter of complaint to the paper declined to reveal the number of
comfortable. I have had complaints calling their comments offensive and complaints received, but said it was
from people who said we didn’t derogatory. an important issue.

4
Sexist tabloids [top] shelved
Students in Manchester
wanting to read their favourite
red-top tabloids will now have to
reach for the top shelf in their union

5
shop.
Following a decision by the
University of Manchester Students’
Union executive tabloid readers
will also be confronted with a sign
stating, “These publications are on
the top shelf because of their sexist

Catwalk to classroom nature and objectification of women,


which UMSU opposes.”
The motion was put forward by
Supermodel Lily Cole
became another face in the The Riveters (the UMSU women’s they have naked women (if women we wanted to allow them to do that
crowd as she started at rights group) and supported by choose to do that - then that’s ace) but ensure they are aware of the
Cambridge University earlier union Women’s Officer Jennie Killip but they are used in this case in a nature of these publications.”
this month.
because the content of the papers derogatory fashion, their bodies the Responding to the suggestion
The model caused a storm
when she appeared in French contradicts union policy. only aspects of achievement pointed that the accompanying sign may
Playboy, but kept a low-profile Speaking to The National Student out.” be an excessive step, Killip added,
on her first day of her three- Killip explained the decision, “The “By moving them to the top shelf “I don’t think the accompanying
year History of Art degree. decision was taken because these we are putting them out of eye-shot sign is excessive because just
The straight-A student said
she would model during time- papers objectify women. They have on the shelves and making a stand moving the papers to the top shelf
off from university, “I’ll still do page three models, refer negatively against their sexist nature. The is no explanation in itself. It’s
bits of modelling alongside my to women throughout and their reason they are not banned is that it there to challenge people, their
degree.” blatant objectification offended would infringe on free press - many preconceptions and the publications
“We have long holidays so
many of The Riveters, not because students to read the papers and so themselves.”
I’m hoping I’ll be able to work
then,” she said.
The National Student, October 2008

6 UK NEWS

Dead good degree


The University of Bath has
launched the UK’s first degree
in Funeral Sevices.
20 students have started
the course developed by the
university’s Centre for Death
and Society (CDAS).
The degree covers a range of

Hollyoaks stars plan great escapes theory and practice to do with


funeral rituals, bereavement
Hollyoaks stars Lena Kaur and alarms in your student home and test and ethnical issues. It will also
Zoë Lister, are helping students to get them weekly . cover how to run a business
fire safe savvy this term by lending New Hollyoaks cast member Lena whilst responding to new laws.
their support to the Great Escapes Kaur, who plays art student Leila Roy, Students have the option to
campaign. says:“Moving out of home into your own study full time for two years or
With Freshers’ Week over, you’re place might feel like a Great Escape – part time for three years.
probably focussing attention on new being able to do what you want, when Caron Staley, Manager
timetables, getting reacquainted with you want – but you have to get clued up of the CDAS, believes the
mates and reading lists – and worrying on potential dangers in the home. When qualification will be very
less about domestic duties like cleaning you live in your own accommodation valuable especially for mature
rotas, bills or crucially, fire safety. you’re responsible for yourself, and no students without many
But fire safety isn’t something you one is there to look after you. If you qualifications: “This course
can afford to ignore, especially when have a fire, you need to be prepared. If will give people in the industry
you’re in rented housing. You’ve got you need help, just ask your local Fire the opportunity to acquire
to be responsible for ensuring you and and Rescue Service – it’s just one call.” a degree level qualification.
your mates escape the risk. A landlord The Great Escapes campaign is This is the first time that this
might provide smoke alarms but it taking its message direct through has been available for people
is down to you to check your home is students on campus. working within the funeral
safe. ‘Fire Kills ambassadors’ have been services.”
The chilling stats speak for recruited in 24 universities across “We are all very excited and
themselves - you are more than twice England, each tasked with raising looking forward to welcoming
as likely to die in a fire if you don’t the issue of fire safety amongst the the first cohort of students at
have a working smoke alarm so it’s student population. Watch out for an their induction in September
essential that you make sure you have ambassador in your Uni! of this year.”
For more information visit direct.gov.uk/firekills
The National Student, October 2008

UK NEWS 7

Hijack officer charged


Find Your Tribe
If you’re bored or have five
minutes to spare, this could be one
for you...
Find Your Tribe is a quiz set up
by Channel 4, asking questions on
your interests, music taste, clothes A SU officer was arrested to the carriages or bridge.
etc and then tells you what youth- and taken to court after Once they had climbed
cultural sub-category you fall into. taking part in a climate onto the 12ft high train,
From traditional ones like Chavs change protest. they began shoveling coal
and Skaters, to clichés like Goths University of onto the tracks.
and Trendies to newer categories Manchester Students’ They demanded the
like Craft Kids and Indie Scenesters,
Union Communications Government reconsider
there are more than enough
Officer Robbie Gillett and their plans to expand coal
pigeonholes to hold most people.
The results over the eight-or-so 28 other students from mine power stations and
weeks since the site launched show across the UK hijacked a come down to the power
that Townies are by far the biggest coal train, climbed on top station to talk to them, “to
tribe in the North of England and and refused to leave all take direct action against
Wales, with Club Kids ruling the day. coal extension.”
roost in Northern Ireland and The protestors held Speaking to Student
Indie Scenesters ruling the East of their position for 16 hours Direct Gillet said, “The
England and the Southern counties. despite a massive police whole world is looking on
They also show a total lack of Goths presence, including riot Britain to see how it moves
in any part of the UK, but maybe
police, transport police, on coal industry.”
they were just too tortured to get
a police helicopter and “We say its ‘clean coal’,
through the quiz…
So, go forth and hostage negotiators to while lecturing China and
find YOUR tribe talk them down. India on reducing their
at findyourtribe. The coal train was Carbon Emissions.”
co.uk stopped on-route to The group were prepared
For the record, Britain’s biggest power- to stay on the train for
The National station, Drax on June days but were talked down The coal train was hijacked on the way to Drax power station
S t u d e n t 13th. The protestors by police at 11pm.
negotiated the were dressed in orange The action was inspired change. who demonstrated against climate change using
sometimes very jumpsuits and waved red by the ruling on the case of Gillet and the other airport expansion and courts as a forum.”
reductive options
flags. six Greenpeace protesters students case is still will appear before Crown “We’re the last
and came out as
The students fastened earlier this year. The pending with further Court in November, and generation who can do
an “Indie Kid”,
to which we say ropes from the bridge to court ruled that taking hearings set for this month the “Greenpeace Six”, something against climate
“no way man we’re the train’s wheels, making non-violent criminal and January. Referring to Gillett said: “Between the change, so it’s really
‘Bhangra Muffins’ it impossible for it to drive action is legal considering fellow carbon emission three groups we keep up important that we do
through and through”. off without risking damage the importance of climate protesters Plane Stupid, an ongoing dialogue about something now.”

Living Costs
We’re all well aware of continues to be among the shocker! Among other things,
the fact that our choice of most expensive, with a higher the basket included King Size
university can affect the index than many London Rizla, condoms, baked beans,
value of our degree, but it institutions, and Wales was a Pot Noodle, cigarettes,
can also massively affect the easily the cheapest region beer, ProPlus, HobNobs and
cost. with costs running at more cheese.
Push, an independent than 15% below average. There is a strong link
website for university Meanwhile, outside London, between high living costs
applicants has published the South East was not and ‘posh’ universities:
results of a study that significantly more expensive those that have a greater
reveals a huge difference than other places. than average proportion of
in the living costs of To gather the data on privately educated students.
undergraduates. Using three groceries, Push worked For instance, the Royal
indicators – student housing, with Costcutter to develop Academy of Music, the
groceries and drinks – the a student ‘basket of goods’, Royal Agricultural College,
study measures how each representing some of the best- Imperial, Oxford, UCL, St
university’s living costs selling items in branches local Andrew’s, Durham and
compare to the national to universities. Here comes a Cambridge were all among
average. those that were significantly
The range varied from the more expensive than others
University of Teesside, where in their region. This gives
life works out at 72% of the cause for concern that
national average, to a number even if poorer students
of London institutions where are not being dissuaded
students need over a third from higher education as a
more money than most. whole, certain institutions
Oxford University may become
economically
elitist.

The results of the study can be seen in full at: Push.co.uk


The National Student, October 2008

8 UK NEWS

Class
S
of 2008 o you came to university to
get that all important degree.
You’ve spent thousands of
souls, charitable persons, scientific
leaders and respectable members
of commerce and industry have
LJM this year).
These awards benefit us too,
they help raise the profile of our
pounds that you don’t have, built up long been recipients of these faux universities and of higher education
oodles of debt and a hefty overdraft, qualifications. Nowadays their ranks itself – so don’t be too quick to scoff.
worked determinedly into the small are swelled by footballers, chat-show They are also meant to inspire us
hours to get all that coursework hosts and fashion designers, but toward achievement, so it is quite
finished and the revision done… Then why? right that such inspiration should
you finally reach your graduation Well why not! These people are come from many different career
day only to find that some bloke off achievers in their own right. Steven paths.
the telly has been given a doctorate Gerrard has already been awarded an As ever, this year’s crop of
for free! MBE by the Queen, so why shouldn’t honorary degree recipients brings
Honorary degrees are dished he get an honorary fellowship from a full and varied selection of people
out annually by our esteemed Liverpool John Moores? Surely it’s under UK academia’s wing. It’s a
institutions but they get a bit of a just snobbery to suggest that being broad selection of well known figures
rough ride. Muttered about by debt- a inspirational mid-fielder who reflective of the colourful tapestry of

Ryan Giggs riddled graduates and derided by


the media, the ever-growing list of
represents his country is of less worth
and value than, for example, being
our culture and society. From Trevor
Phillips, head of the Commission for
Master of Arts admired and well-known figures a tireless fundraiser, campaigner Equalities and Human Rights (and
University of Salford honoured by universities often causes and the founder of Childline (Esther NUS’ first and only black President);
a raised eyebrow or two. Learned Rantzen CBE was also recognised by to Lorraine Kelly the queen of
daytime sofa chat.
This year the University of

Jane Horrocks Edinburgh bestowed an honorary


degree upon Neil Armstrong and
Doctor of Letters took one away from Robert Mugabe.
Lancaster University Parky got one from Huddersfield,

Sir David Attenborough Giggsy got one from Salford and over
in Ireland, Trinity College Dublin
gave one to the Sundance Kid.
Doctor of Science Let’s celebrate
University of Exeter the Class of
2008!!

Doctor of Science
University of Aberdeen

“It is very nice that the Scots Alastair Stewart OBE


should honour a Sassenach” Doctor of Laws
University of Bristol
“Universities are that crucial element in so-
ciety, which independent of commercialism,
independent of politics, seeks the truth and “I am delighted to have been awarded this
declares the truth. So, for me, this ceremo- honorary degree. It is a fantastic opportunity
ny, this ritual and this honour is a very great to celebrate the tradition and the history here
one. I congratulate all of you who have in Bath. This area was the springboard for
worked so hard to take part in this ritual.” my career, so it has real significance for me.” © Nic Delves-Broughton, IDPS, University of Bath

Bill Bryson
Doctor of Letters
University of Leicester

Hugh Dennis
Honorary Fellowship
University of Leicester

University of Northampton

“The ceremony was fine, I had to “This is a huge and great honour for me and
Robert Redford wear a very silly hat and a gown
but it all went very smoothly.”
made all the more gratifying by knowing that I
had to do nothing at all to get it whereas David, Sir Ian Botham
Doctor of Letters my son, has just worked very hard for five long Doctor of Laws
Trinity College Dublin years in order to earn his degree today.” University of Bath
The National Student, October 2008

UK NEWS 9

“Thirty years ago my mother


was very disappointed that Rik Mayall
I didn’t go to university and
Doctor of Letters
she didn’t get that picture of
me with the scroll under my University of Exeter
arm that everybody has on
their mantelpiece so she’s re-
ally looking forward to it.”
“This is such an honour, such a joy, such
a treat, such a terrible mistake… I never
Lorraine Kelly in my wildest dreams imagined this.
Here I am, Rik Mayall, one 11 plus, three
Doctor of Laws O’levels and a doctorate.
University of Dundee Dr Rik Mayall – unbelievable.”

Elvis Costello
Doctor of Music
Sir Ben Kingsley University of Liverpool
Doctor of Letters
University of Hull

Kirsty Young
“Thank you for your embrace. Doctor of Letters
I embrace you.”
University of Stirling

“It was very embarrassing, you know. You see a


photograph of yourself and that’s embarrassing
and then you have to stand up in front of a lot
of people while someone says the whole of your
life to you. But it is a huge day of celebration
and I’m frightfully pleased to have been asked.”

Meanwhile… Wayne and Gerardine Hemmingway


Dame Judi Dench Across the pond Sir Paul McCartney became
an honorary Doctor of Music at Yale, and J Doctor of Laws (joint award)
Doctor of Letters K Rowling was made a Doctor of Letters at Lancaster University
University of St. Andrews Harvard.
Weslyan University in Connecticut are clearly
trying to get on someone’s good side; they
bestowed an honorary degree upon Barack
Obama – perhaps they’ve had a premonition!
At Keio University in Japan; Paul David Hew-
son became an honorary Doctor of Law… that’s
Bono to you and I.
Honorary Facts… Trevor Phillips OBE
The first recorded honorary degree was Doctor of Laws
awarded to Lionel Woodville in the late 1470s
by the University of Oxford. He later became
University of Liverpool
Bishop of Salisbury.
The current world champion for receiving
honorary degrees (if there can be such a thing!)
is Nelson Mandela who’s currently clocked up
57… Sir David Attenborough has more than
twenty… But Stephen Hawking only has 12
and should frankly make more of an effort!

Dame Vivienne Westwood


University Of Hull

Doctor of Letters Sir Stirling Moss


University of Dundee Doctor of Letters
University of Hull
The National Student, October 2008

Q &A
FEATURE 11

With Nick Clegg, leader


of the Liberal Democrats
You call your polices a ‘liberal alternative’ to that every young person is a knife-wielding
the discredited polices of ‘big government’. thug about to attack you. It just isn’t true.
What do you mean by this and how will the Violence cannot be tackled by tough talk,
Lib Dems be different to the other parties? ASBOs and overcrowded prisons – the
I joined the Lib Dems because I’d had poverty, alienation and disempowerment that
enough of being dictated to by people I didn’t contributes to crime needs to be tackled too.
believe in. The liberal vision is progressive, Of course we need to be tough on perpetrators
green, internationalist, anti-establishment of violence, but we need to involve local
and committed to giving people greater control communities as well. I want to see community
over their lives. The Liberal Democrats are courts set up throughout the country where
now the only party calling for profound reform offenders have to face up to their victims and
of a political system which has left so many then do visible work in the community. That
people angry and frustrated. Labour and the way the people who commit crimes can really
Conservatives are part of a cosy consensus understand the impact of their acts and make
that protects the status quo because it allows amends to the local community.
them to take it in turns to govern. We, on the
other hand, want to fundamentally rewrite the You were a lecturer at Sheffield University –
rules. tell us a little bit about your time there.
I was a part-time teacher in a couple of
How much debt were you in when you left courses on European politics in the Politics
university? Department. It was an interesting thing to
I was lucky enough to have parents who were do having spent ten years working in the
able to help me a lot when I was at university, European Union, where I had managed
so not much. But I am well aware - not least as development aid projects in Central Asia
a Sheffield MP with a huge number of students and led EU trade negotiating teams with
from two universities in my constituency - that the Chinese and Russians before becoming
most students struggle to make ends meet a Member of the European Parliament. At
while they are studying. Many have to take Sheffield University my role was to act as an
on part-time jobs, which really adds to the occasional reality check on the academic stuff
pressure, especially at exam time. the students were reading about the EU.
These years can be some of your greatest, Theorising about politics sometimes has little
and no student should have that spoiled by the to do with the grubby realities of politics!
stress of unmanageable debt.
To date what would you say is your greatest
What’s your party’s position on tuition fees achievement?
and the funding of higher education? I wouldn’t call it an achievement, but I’m most
We remain totally committed to universal proud of being a father. I have two wonderful
access to education and we believe that young sons with a third on the way. Children may be
people from all parts of society should be able innocent, but at least they’ve got their priorities
to attend university if that’s what they want. straight. They aren’t interested in what was
But there are some big anomalies which need said at the Dispatch Box or who’s where in the
to be addressed: the discrimination against polls, they just want to be with the people they
FE colleges compared to universities, and the love and have a good time. Who’s to say they’re
increasingly large number of part time students wrong?
who are not properly catered for. That’s why May. We’ve got more MPs than at any time In your conference speech you seem to be
we are reviewing our policies at the moment. I Have you ever done anything you are not since the war. I think that progress points in outlining plans for more ‘public-led’ politics
hope they’ll be finalised by next Spring. proud of? one direction only... power. And that’s why in the UK (i.e. in the running of local services).
Sure. But that’s probably best left to me and our policies - from opposing the Iraq war, to Why is this a good idea and how would it
What importance does ‘image’ play in modern my conscience! scrapping ID cards to pay for more police, to work?
politics and what problems, if any, do you our plan for a zero carbon Britain by 2050, and The British political system is incredibly
think this causes? Why are the Lib Dems the right party to give our plans for fairer taxes - are radical and bold patronising, with Government Ministers and
In a media-driven political culture, image Britain what it needs? but also workable and detailed. Civil servants making fundamental decisions
has undoubtedly become very important. The Because Britain would be a fairer, freer about our lives, and about things they don’t
cult of celebrity is everywhere these days. As a and greener country if it were a more liberal Many graduates feel let-down by the system, understand, from their desks in Whitehall. It’s
politician, there’s no point complaining about country. Protecting civil liberties, championing starting their lives after university in massive become increasingly fashionable for politicians
it - I went into politics with my eyes open about green policies, changing the political system, debt, and qualified in fields they can’t always to talk the talk about decentralising power,
the highs and lows, the good and the bad. My fairer taxes for people who are struggling, get a job in. What can you and the Lib but the UK is still the most centralised state
main concern goes far wider than the effect on ending our slavish subservience to the White Dems say/do to reassure them and future in Europe after Malta (which is about the size
individual politicians: I fear that a focus on House - these and so many other things can graduates? of Croydon)!
celebrity creates conformity in politics. People only be delivered by a liberal, reforming We’re looking at ways to ease the burden on The Liberal Democrats understand that it’s
should feel able to be who they are - great Government. graduates as they start out in life. Internships people who know best when it comes to the
change only happens when people dare to be and work experience are becoming more and services they need. That’s why we are the only
different. It is often said that the Lib Dems can just ‘say more necessary for young people to get the party with proposals to take power away from
what they like’ because you have no realistic jobs they want, and a lot of these are unpaid. central Government. We want to give it back
How do you think the continuing growth in chance of getting into power. What would you Then, once you are working, buying a home to individuals and local communities so that
violent crime amongst young people can be say to that? or putting some money aside seems like a they have a say over their schools, their health
tackled? We got six million votes at the last general pipe dream, as does ever getting your bank services, and the other decisions that affect
It does no one any good to vilify and election, more than any other liberal party in balance back to zero. That’s why we’re looking their everyday lives. I believe it’s an approach
criminalise young people. If you believed Europe. We control more of the largest cities in at how to take the pressure off students once which will work because it puts the people who
everything you read in the papers or heard this country than any other party. We pushed they have graduated as well as while they are know most about the local services they deliver
from Labour or the Conservatives you’d think Labour into third place at the elections in studying. and use in the driving seat.
The National Student, October 2008

12 FEATURE
Comment: The system needs to change to focus
on teaching not statistics and lecturers need to
be able to teach with no pressure other than
doing the job properly by Mina Singh

S
o you think that
gaining your degree
will change your life,
and give you that leg up
to your dream-career and
rocket you into the highest
of wage-brackets? Under
the current HE system your
degree might be worth less
than you think.
The worth of degrees
is being questioned by
students, academics and
employers as allegations of
increased grades, leniency
on cheating and attempts
to rig survey results in
order to increase league
table standings has led
to scepticism of whether
degree grades match a
graduate’s skills.
In a system where
universities and academics
are held accountable by
results and measured
by league tables, higher
education has become more
about creating the correct
statistics than teaching
students to the highest
level.
This climate is leaving
both students and
academics short-changed
by a government-created
statistical stranglehold –
Labour has created a system
that has both created and
perpetuates this problem.
Of course universities
and lecturers should be desire to increase the should step in and impose a universities has more than think their degree was should be available at uni.
held accountable for the proportion of such awards.” much more rigorous regime doubled and last year 61% of ‘shit’ if the students did not These so-called ‘Mickey
courses they provide but “Please bear this in mind of assessment.” university leavers achieved comply. Mouse degrees’ have in
while the focus remains on when setting your second On the same site ‘A a first class or upper second The opinions prospective many quarters further
ranking everything, and and final year assessments, Professor’ claimed, “I am a class degree. employers hold of the soiled the reputation of the
everyone, by statistical especially the latter.” professor at a well-known Also, now in its eighth quality of degrees is vastly HE system, with a view that
means the main concern of “We have never received strong UK university (the year the National Student important. Impressing ‘anybody can get a degree
any institution is rising in any external examiner kind of place where you Survey, collects data people like this is exactly these days’. The annoying
the tables and not its level criticism that our need at least three A’s to get on student satisfaction why these league tables thing is that this conclusion
of teaching. ‘standards’ are too low so in). Our department is being offering a percentage mark exist in the first place, may be right.
It is unavoidable that there should be quite a lot pressurised from above to on courses for all to see. but in the long-run they Most annoyingly this
universities will do all of leeway available to us all award more 1st and upper This survey, supported are making degrees less problem has not been
they can to secure higher when assessments are set,” 2nd class degrees - we were wholeheartedly by NUS, important to employers. created by the universities
rankings and a better it added. told in no uncertain terms has become an intrinsic As universities focus on or students. The blame lies
reputation in trying to This supports the concerns that if we were supposed to part of how people perceive getting higher rankings solely with the Government
attract higher student of many academics that be a world-class university universities. and giving out higher who have created this
numbers and funding. they are under pressure to full of world-class lecturers In theory this is a grades employers are less target-led educational-
Cases that have come to manipulate degree grades to then how come only great idea, offering inclined to pay attention quagmire.
light over the summer show make their university more (whatever it is) percent undergraduates the chance to the degree grade you’ve But it is students who
that the actions of uni staff attractive to applicants. are being awarded “good” to have their voices heard but achieved. If everyone’s suffer the most. It is
aren’t always above board. Commenting on the degrees - we were told that in practice it is adding yet getting a First how does students who are paying
A leaked email from BBC website Peter from our funding risked being cut more fuel to the statistical that make your achievement for their education, leaving
Manchester Metropolitan London said, “All HE and if we did not start giving out fire. As with anything else, special? The answer is it university in debt with
University suggested FE institutions in the UK (what they wanted) percent with so much riding on the doesn’t, as employers get degrees that are not always
that academics should are under pressure to bend of first and upper seconds! results, universities are not the impression that getting going to give them the
increase the level of some the rules on assessment I remember the stunned always willing to leave the high-grades is getting easier advantages they deserve.
top degrees to match those because they lose money silence when our head of survey findings to chance. it starts to mean very little. The system needs to
at competing universities. if a student fails. This department reported this Last month The National This is further change to focus on teaching
Sent to computing and situation has been going development to us in a Student reported on how perpetuated by universities’ not statistics, degree grades
mathematics staff by that on for a long time and is staff meeting. Management the Psychology department need to attract as many need to be awarded on
department’s academic seriously undermining the are basically saying to us at Kingston University students (or money, merit and not on how it will
standards manager, the credibility of qualifications “inflate your grades by any has been banned from the depending on which way affect league standings and
note called for an increase in the UK and damaging means necessary or you can survey after they attempted you look at it) as possible. lecturers need to be able
in the number of first class our reputation abroad. forget about hiring any new to rig the results. These days there are many to teach with no pressures
and upper second degrees What is urgently needed staff.” A secretly-made recording courses that you don’t need other than doing the job
stating, “As a university is a simple reform: that The numbers seem to featured a department a university education to do properly.
we do not award as many no institution should support this idea, since member encouraging – it can’t be argued that the I say let the teachers
Firsts and 2.1s as other be responsible for the the mid-1990s the amount students to lie and to likes ‘Surf Studies’, ‘Golf teach and restore faith in
comparable institutions so assessment of its own of students achieving a give higher rankings. She Course Management’ and our highly damaged HE
there is an understandable students. Government first class degree at UK claimed employers would ‘David Beckham Studies’ system.
The National Student, October 2008

FEATURE 13

We like to provide a bit of advice for life here at The National Student, but we fully appreciate that from time to
time advice can feel a tad patronising. So as we launch a new irregular feature on food safety and hygiene, we

Bite Me !
thought, if we’re gonna be slightly patronising anyway, why not liven things up and be a bit rude too…!

Don’t be such a child…


there is nothing big,
clever or amusing about
having a ‘pet milk’ and
watching it grow!

Bitchin’ in the kitchen


You’re such a foul, despicable
Left-overs should be
creature...Clean all internal
stored in the fridge and
and external surfaces often,
eaten within two days Only a complete ninny wouldn’t know
especially fridge shelves and
numbnut. that the coldest part of the fridge What are you thinking!?!
door storage compartments.
should be at no more than +5°C. Never put open cans in
Mop up any spills as soon as
they happen. the fridge – use a plastic
food container or a
covered bowl…
Oh, and remember to
use it within two days
you fool.

Yes bonehead, dairy


Eggs should be kept in the products belong in
fridge, but not like this, keep the fridge.
them in their box stupid.

Raw foods, like meat and poultry, may contain


microbes that can cause food poisoning. Engage your brain prat-face and throw
Keep them in the fridge, well covered, on the away perishable food that has been left
bottom shelf so they can’t drip onto other out at room temperature for more than
foods. Avoid cross-contamination by storing a couple of hours and all food scraps.
these foods away from other foods, especially
cooked foods and ready-to-eat foods.

Check the label on pre-packed food to see if


it is suitable for home freezing. If so, freeze
as soon as possible after purchase. The star
marking panel on food labels will tell you how
long you can store your food, depending on
your type of freezer. Geddit moron?
Don’t put live chickens in
the fridge you nit.
The freezer No food lasts forever you numpty,
should be however well it is stored. Most
at -18°C or pre-packed foods carry either
below you a ‘use by’ or ‘best before’ date.
wally. Check them carefully, and look
out for advice on how long food
can be kept for once packaging
has been opened.

Hey dimwit! Store foods in Oi dufus... Defrost


separate covered containers. your fridge/freezer
But don’t be an imbecile and regularly. ‘Use by dates’ – are for highly
waste space in the fridge with perishable foods – those that
flour and sugar, these photos ‘go off’ quite quickly (almost as
are just so a plonker like you quickly as I’ve gone off you).
knows what ‘separate covered Don’t be a tool... When freezing No-one likes to waste food, even
containers’ means. home-cooked foods, use clean douchebags like yourself, but it
freezer bags and label them with can be dangerous to eat foods
the date and description of the past their ‘use by’ date.
food. Again, check your freezer
Cover dishes and other open
manual or cook book to see how
containers with foil or film. But
long you can store the foods.
don’t re-use foil or film to wrap
other foods… only a complete ‘Best before’ dates
dumbass would do that. are for foods with
a longer life. They
You’re a useless waste of space... indicate how long the
Remember: Use up older items first food will be at its best
– first in, first out – and if in doubt quality. Try not to let
throw it out. your standards slip
too far cretin!
The National Student, October 2008

14 FEATURE

Partying like it’s 2008


As the candidates fight it out in the run up to next month’s historic US
election, The National Student’s Elizabeth Davies found herself in the
middle of the political circus at both parties’ national conventions...

T
he national into the heart of any member the Republican convention, of almost-overbearing
conventions only of Congress wanting to or pulling an even shorter excitement more pronounced
happen every four propose a piece of legislation straw and having to stay than at Invesco Field, the
years, and you quickly to which a single opponent behind to deal with the 75,000-seater stadium at
get the impression that happens to object – and now inevitable technical mess which Obama would accept
the organisers yearn to the process of nominating that arises when half a his party’s nomination. With
compensate for their lack of your candidate for the news organisation relocates the Coloradan sun beating
annual party hobnobbing by highest office in the land has itself for two weeks. For down on unprotected
making as big a splash as become something akin to some, having to go to the heads (given Republican
possible. just cheering really loudly. Republican convention at preconceptions of the
Forgetting, of course, that There’s an odd disconnect all was worst, it’s true – ‘liberal’ East Coast media,
even the most uninformed between the formalised (and but then that was before it would have been unwise
American knows by pre- yes, tedious) roll call vote, Sarah Palin, John McCain’s to don the only choice of
election summer that there and the point at which it running mate, rose over headgear available – Obama
descends into simply passing the edge of the political caps), the arena’s hallways
are two major political
the motion ‘by acclamation’. landscape in her Ski-doo. and entrances were clogged
parties and each is fielding
Should yours be a dissenting If you value your sleep, with 15,000 credentialed
a candidate for President, voice, your objection will go an American political party journalists, Obama
each side tries its best unheard. convention is not the place campaign volunteers,
to get one over the other Yet it’s impossible to argue to find yourself, especially Democratic National
and remind voters of their that the whole thing isn’t ahead of what is the most Committee volunteers,
relevance by putting on the hugely compelling; an event anticipated Presidential volunteers particular to
most dazzling spectacle. which inspires millions election within memory; this gargantuan event,
This year the Democrats to watch it at home with and if you value your sanity, and, finally, the ordinary
may have triumphed in as much passion as those doing the whole two-week members of the public
terms of the sheer number party elders who attend, haul is not wise. This is to whom the Democratic
despite being a completely
and resplendence of their
un-newsworthy event. That
bells and whistles, but the Barack Obama
much is true – nothing
Republicans’ grandiose unforeseen ever actually
displays of patriotism were
no less glaring.
happens at these things Rudy Giuliani supplied they’re more restrained in the ubiquity of the country
anymore, and yet members their adulation. After all, singers and retreating to
Coming from the UK,
with our membership-based,
of the media are clamouring
to attend (a description
the Republicans with the Republican demographic the back of our skybox in
doesn’t exactly cater to apprehension as Sarah
button-down, meagerly-
funded (relatively, at least)
which could rarely be applied
to British party conferences,
‘drill, baby, drill’; Mexican waves.
convention in Minneapolis-
Their Palin effectively whipped
the crowds up into an anti-
political parties, one can’t
help but observe that, once
for example).
Throughout the summer
a battle cry which St. Paul was intended to
counteract what they saw as
media chant.
The Democrats may have
again, the Americans like to
take a good idea and then
months, across the media
centres of the United States perfectly illustrated that the Democrats’ unnecessary
(and un-American?)
had their ‘Yes We Can’,
but Rudy Giuliani supplied
take it one step further – (and probably the world),
often to the point where were hundreds of echoes of Barack Obama does ostentation with an intense
patriotism designating
the Republicans with ‘drill,
baby, drill’; a battle cry
its sheer scale then serves a conversation I heard in an themselves the party of which perfectly illustrated
almost no purpose.
Parliamentary rules and
elevator in Washington, DC not have a monopoly ordinary Americans, rather that Barack Obama does
between two NBC members than Obama’s personality not have a monopoly on
whips have become the
pervasive threat of
of staff discussing their
misfortune in either pulling
on audacity cult.
The theme: ‘Country
audacity. The
ardour for an offshore
sudden

filibuster paralysis, the short straw and only First’. In fact, ‘Republican’ drilling project all experts
w h i c h getting to go to was nowhere to be seen; no- have panned as completely
strikes Minneapolis- one mentioned it and the ineffective was only matched
terror St. Paul for especially true if you work for convention was meant to whole of the Xcel Center was by the enthusiasm directed
a British news organisation ‘belong’; those lucky enough bedecked in tasteful red, at Sarah Palin, previously
and have an audience to secure tickets queueing white and blue rather than little-known, but abruptly
hungry for anything and outside hours before the the traditional Republican hailed as the saviour of the
everything to do with the security lockdown at roughly elephant. If it weren’t for the Republican party.
American election, but a six PM. large contingents of Texans ‘Only in America’ is often
time difference of up to Obama himself would in cowboy hats and throngs sighed in resignation at
seven hours to negotiate – not take to the stage until of women in plastic Fox some particularly moronic
and guests whose treatment half-past seven, delivering a News boaters, you could be American action, but here it
of the two-week stint as speech that contained more forgiven for being confused. has to be used in amazement
a chance to climb up the than enough substance to Indeed, for the first couple at the sheer magnitude of
political spin pecking-order silence those who criticise of days the convention went the convention displays.
means that they are likely him of being shallow. through a bit of an identity Whether they indicate
to forget your audience are Although, to be honest, he crisis; with Hurricane a healthy democracy is
already picking up their could have read a telephone Gustav looming, putting one thing, but there is
children from school and directory and the stadium country first would obviously no doubting the fervour
blithely cancel on you at nine would still have swelled up remove any reason for with which Americans (or
AM when an opportunity in a frenzy of sign-waving having a convention at all. those engaged in politics,
to appear on one of the big and ‘Yes We Cans’. Those of us left behind while at least) approach their
networks presents itself. There was crying, singing, our colleagues went off to general elections. Now all
But if you have a zeal for and, yes, dancing in the cover what was assumed that remains to be seen is
American politics and a aisles. It would have been to be the next Katrina how that enthusiasm will
desire to witness history enough to make the British wandered the near-deserted manifest itself on November
in the making (as neither media feel exceedingly hallways in astonishment 4th.
convention failed to remind uncomfortable – except at the suddenness of the
you was at stake in this it was impossible to stop emptiness. After Invesco, it Elizabeth Davies interned
election), then there is no yourself being blown away. was like having a rug pulled at Channel 4 News’
better place in the world to To say that Republicans from under your feet. Washington, DC bureau
be. displayed less enthusiasm And yet two days later this summer.
Sarah Palin Nowhere was the about their candidate would we were back in the swing
Democrats’ atmosphere be unfair; it’s simply that of things, marvelling at
The National Student, October 2008

FEATURE 15

A Traveller’s Tale
We left Nathan Millward after a disastrous
day of medical testing in Melbourne. It ended
with a proposal from the girlfriend he calls…
the Wrecking Ball.

F
or those who’ve never England without her. didn’t happen by accident
been, the mechanics That I then landed a job on a ferry boat. And then
of speed-dating as a motoring journalist finally, as a footnote, I could
are simple. You sit with in London might entertain confirm that two months
a stranger and in three the boys for a minute, into my Australian return,
minutes hope to impress while female hearts may we’re back as a couple and
them to the point at which be softened by news that going better than ever.
they put a tick in your box. I secretly I was missing the And so you see, with
didn’t think that was going Wrecking Ball like crazy. I’d all that’s happened this
to happen with the Wrecking made the wrong decision, past year, the marriage
Ball; a 26 year-old English and that I didn’t have the bombshell at the end
teacher with tousled blonde bottle to do anything about of a disastrous day in
locks and a past history as it would lead neatly on to Melbourne isn’t as daft as it
a pit-lane model. With my the stupid excuses I came first sounds. I came all this
tatty Converse trainers and up with for returning to way, she’s taken me back,
hot dog diet contrasting Australia without it obvious it’s going well, so why not?
awkwardly with her salad I was doing it just for her. And let’s face it. At some
of bohemian glamour, she Like how I planned to ride point in our lives we’ve all
didn’t look my type, and I across the world on a moped got to surrender our student with the first two, maybe while I clear dirty ashtrays Ollie from Lincoln and an
certainly didn’t look hers. and finish on her Australian overdrafts and take on the Wrecking Ball is on to from the tables outside. I Essex girl nicknamed Pube
And so I wasted the first doorstep with the alibi that mortgages and mother-in- something with the third. stop and think how that Head for the same obvious
minute buying a drink at the journey was only to laws. It’s what grown ups But whether we do or we used to be me and how reasons that I’m called Big
the bar and the second raise money to help Nana do. Isn’t it? don’t, the truth is I’m flat much I miss it, before Spiros Teeth. We met in a hostel
apologising for not buying buy a new bungalow. And tying the knot would broke. And there’s nothing screams at me to take Table a while back and laughed
her one. The third minute The same Nana who’s certainly make life so much like idiots when we realised
then looked bleak, and yet sofa I would sit and sob simpler. In my haste to we were here for the same
somehow, it all turned out uncontrollably on ’cause I return I could only get a reason. Sadly she’s not been
rather sunny. We got on couldn’t decide what the three month tourist visa, The last time I was here I as fortunate as me, with
well, went for another drink hell it was I should do. and so, as I sit here bashing nothing but unanswered
and within a week started Career or the Wrecking out the latest instalment of whined that it can be a false, phone calls and a cold
dating. There was just one Ball? England or Australia? my Antipodean adventures, shoulder from the ex she’s
problem. In three months To stay or to go? Then living the update is that if I’m
soulless place; full of botoxed flown all this way for. So
my Australian Working with regret and indecision, I going to make all this foreheads and plastic breasts. Pube Head’s sad, as you
Holiday Visa would expire could tell you all about that, stick, I either have to find would be after realising
and I would be forced to before detailing how six a brave company willing But slowly it grows on you, someone you love is actually
make that long flight home, months after abandoning to give me a high paid job a bit of a shit.
to England... the Wrecking Ball in and a two year sponsored
gets under your skin But that’s the thing
A year on and so much Australia, I grew some contract, sign up to one with travelling; you meet
has happened since speed- balls and finally booked of the mightily expensive interesting people with
dating. I could tell you how a flight to go back. For a university courses, or find worse when trying to woo a Four some cutlery and to interesting stories and
I solved that problem by rousing conclusion I could someone with an Australian girl than an empty wallet. stop day-dreaming on the adventures that they‘re still
abandoning the Wrecking then celebrate our romantic passport who will marry me. I can’t afford flowers, or sidewalk. From that high to in the middle of completing.
Ball and going home to reunion and pretend it And as I’m so far struggling lingerie, or even the alcohol this low, it’s one mighty fall, In some ways I wish I was
needed to take advantage but I can’t complain when at home, oblivious to the
of her when she’s drunk. the reason for my return, wider world that‘s out
Heck, I can’t even afford the Wrecking Ball, will be there. Like friends who’ve
to have the tooth repaired waiting for me after work been drinking in the same
that I cracked eating dried with a racquet so she can pub for the past ten years
pasta back in March. And smash me at tennis. and don’t dare go anywhere
so I’ve been a little cheeky And regardless of all this but down the road.
and asked around the local silly drama, I’m starting to What a simple life that
cafes if they can give me genuinely enjoy Sydney. would be; content and happy
some work, cash in hand The last time I was here with your lot, not endlessly
of course. It’s taken some I whined that it can be a trying to better it. Instead,
time, but finally last week false, soulless place; full I’m a long way from home
Spiros the Greek rang to of botox-ed foreheads and and only half succeeding in
say I can make sandwiches plastic breasts. But slowly making things work with a
in his dirty café. It’s nothing it grows on you, gets under girl who lives in Australia,
flash, or even legal, but it’s your skin. The great food but is actually Canadian
money to buy that alcohol and the beautiful women and who never wants to live
and fix that tooth. help, but it’s also the little in England. It’s achingly
If only the cafe were not things, like the small town complicated, but also wildly
on the same street as the feel you get in the suburbs exciting, and that’s what
car magazine I worked for and the simple happiness travelling guarantees all
when I was here in Sydney the locals take from getting of us when we embark on
last year. It means that their surfboards wet on the stupid adventures that
each day I get to watch weekend. any of us can so easily find
my replacement zoom past And I’ve got good friends ourselves on. But marriage?
in some Lotus or Aston or here too. Some from the last Even I’m not that stupid.
whatever else it may be time, but also new ones, like
The National Student, October 2008

FEATURE 17

Ig Nobel Awards 2008


It’s that time of year again when we at
The National Student are astounded
and tickled silly by the winners of
the Ig Nobel Awards

T
his year’s awards co-author of the British
ceremony held at Medical Journal study
Harvard University’s “Sword-swallowing and Its
Sanders Theatre on Side Effects” which was
October 2 was an event honoured last year).
like no other, with the Other attendees
winners being handed their included Don Featherstone
prize by genuine Nobel (creator of the plastic pink
Laureate William Lipscomb flamingo); Kees Moeliker
(Chemistry 1976). Frank (who reported the first
Wilczek (Physics 2004) was scientifically recorded case
represented on stage in the of homosexual necrophilia
form a dummy; Wilczek’s in the mallard duck); and
daughter Mira assisted the Francis Fesmire (the first
dummy in congratulating doctor to cure intractable The Laureates endanger their sperm... or do they?
the successful scientists. hiccups by applying digital
Professor Lipscomb, 89- rectal massage).
years-young, was also the the essential research by make the person chewing year were at odds over their Medicine
prize in the Win-a-Date- So let’s take a look at Astolfo G. Mello Araujo the chip believe it is crisper scientific findings. The Ig
With-a-Nobel-Laureate the pieces of improbable and José Carlos Marcelino and fresher than it really Nobel’s awarded Sharee A. Obviously placebo
Contest. research given the thumbs- it may in actual fact have is. Umpierre of the University medicines have no physical
Lipscomb was not the up this year….. much to do with a small Their paper “The Role of Puerto Rico, Joseph A. effect in curing your ills,
night’s only romantic armoured mammal. of Auditory Cues in Hill of The Fertility Centers but the Ig Nobel’s have
interest. Benoit Economics The study “The Role Modulating the Perceived of New England (USA), celebrated work that
Mandelbrot, the 84-year- of Armadillos in the Crispness and Staleness of Deborah J. Anderson of shows some may be more
old mathematician who At a time of unprecedented Movement of Archaeological Potato Chips” outlines their Boston University School beneficial than others.
invented the mathematics- financial doom-and-gloom, Materials: An Experimental endeavour in foody sound- of Medicine and Harvard Dan Ariely of Duke
and-art concept of fractals, trust the Ig Nobel’s to Approach” measured how manipulation. Medical School (USA) for University, USA,
was the prize in a frenzied inject a little humour into the course of history, or discovering that Coca- demonstrated that high-
Win-a-Date-with-Benoit- the field of economics. at least the contents of Cola is an effective priced fake medicine is more
Mandelbrot Contest. The 2008 Ig Nobel went an archaeological dig site, spermicide. effective than low-priced
Under the strict rules of to Geoffrey Miller, Joshua can be scrambled by Chuang-Ye fake medicine, in his study
the ceremony each winner Tybur and Brent Jordan the actions of a live Hong of “Commercial Features of
was granted 60 seconds from the University of armadillo. Taipei Placebo and Therapeutic
to deliver an acceptance New Mexico, USA for their Efficacy.”
speech, and this time-limit invaluable study into the Nutrition
was enforced by a cute-but- tips strippers earn.
implacable eight-year-old Their study “Ovulatory This year’s award
girl. Cycle Effects on Tip in the field of
The night’s entertainment Earnings by Lap Dancers: nutrition won’t
was taken up a notch with Economic Evidence for do anything to An Armadillo
the inclusion of a new mini- Human Estrus?” discovered aid the growth in
opera entitled ‘Redundancy, that an exotic-dancer’s obesity numbers,
Again’ which featured the Ig ovulatory cycle affects her devising an Biology
Nobel Laureates as backing tip earnings. ingenious way Medical
singers. The award was collected to make the University One for the pet-lovers.
Several past winners by Geoffrey Miller and Brent consumption of crisps all (Taiwan), C.C. Shieh, A piece of research that
were in attendance: the Jordan at the ceremony. the more enjoyable. Peace P. Wu, and B.N. Chiang (all shows it’s better to have a
ceremony was opened Massimiliano Zampini of of Taiwan) got the nod for cat with fleas than a dog
with Dr. Thomas Michel, Archaeology the University of Trento, The Swiss, it would seem, discovering that it is not. with fleas – FACT! Marie-
Harvard Medical School’s Italy and Charles Spence have laws to encompass So Coke drinkers need not Christine Cadiergues,
Dean of Education removing It is often said that history of Oxford University, everything, and make sure worry about The Real Thing Christel Joubert and Michel
a sword from the throat of is written by those in electronically modified the everyone is covered under hindering their ability to Franc of Ecole Nationale
Dan Meyer (swashbuckling power, but according to sound of a potato chip to the legal framework... even maintain the human race. Veterinaire de Toulouse,
plants. France for discovering that
The 2008 honour in the Physics the fleas that live on a dog
peace field was awarded to can jump higher than the
the Swiss Federal Ethics Some things are just fleas that live on a cat.
Committee on Non-Human inevitable, we all know
Biotechnology (ECNH) and about those annoying Literature
the citizens of Switzerland little things that just
for adopting the legal happen, so it is nice to Last but certainly not
principle that plants have have them scientifically least, and possessing our
dignity. proven. Dorian favourite title for a study
Raymer of the Ocean is research in the field of
Cognitive Science Observatories Initiative the written-word bearing
at Scripps Institution of the magnificent name
Each year one piece of Oceanography, USA, and “You Bastard: A Narrative
research more than any Douglas Smith of the Exploration of the
other truly deserves the University of California, Experience of Indignation
title of ‘improbable’. This San Diego, USA have within Organizations.”
year that honour goes to added some scientific Lovingly written by David
the research awarded the weight to a universal Sims this is something that
cognitive science award. problem and thus deserve you’ll never see at the real
Jap researchers Toshiyuki this years physics award. Nobel prizes.
Nakagaki and Ryo Their study
Kobayashi were awarded “Spontaneous Knotting
for their work discovering of an Agitated String” So there we have it another
that slime moulds can solve proved mathematically ceremony and another batch
puzzles. that heaps of string or of brilliant, strange and
hair or almost anything mind-expanding research,
Chemistry else will inevitably tangle we wait with baited breath
themselves up in knots. to see what they uncover in
You Bastard: David Sims accepts his award The winners for the award 2009.
in the field of chemistry this
The National Student, October 2008

18 SPORT
Birmingham

Justin Langer international


football festival
New international
students at the University
of Birmingham were given a
different kind of introduction
to university life.
In an exclusive interview for The The university hosted
an international festival
National Student James Davies of football with the aim
of ‘providing friendly
caught up with Justin Langer social interaction and an
introduction to sport at
‘the best batsman in the world’ Birmingham’.
The event took advantage

L
of the university’s
ooking out over the morning and the last to impressive Astroturf
County Ground, from leave, Langer who also has facilities and support from
the Sir Ian Botham a black belt in Taekwondo, the increasingly popular
stand, in Somerset, I start explains, “The pain of intra-league members
discipline is nothing like which currently includes
to lose count of the number
24 men’s 11 a-side teams,
of times Justin Langer has the pain of disappointment. 105 men’s 6-a-side teams
run around the edge of the I don’t see enough of it and 20 women’s 6-a-side
boundary. really. If you really want teams. This number is sure
The domestic match, to be the best at something to increase after this event
in which he had been you’ve got to be disciplined with many of the students
playing against Lancashire in your choices for what expressing an interest to
finished over an hour ago, you want to achieve.” join or set-up a team.
but instead of packing his He continues, “I’ve Active Lifestyle
always been fascinated by Development Manager of
kit bag and leaving like
University of Birmingham
the rest of the team, the boxers. They train so hard Sport, Rachel Shepherd was
Somerset skipper is out on and get so switched on, the event’s organiser and
the pitch, as he always is you can actually see the she was pleased with the
after a day’s play, circling focus and all the hard work outcome, “the event was a
the playing field in the they’ve put in. I’ve always huge success and enabled
beautiful surroundings of found that interesting us to showcase the range of
Somerset’s idyllic ground, because that’s how you’ve sporting opportunities for
in Taunton. got to be when you walk everyone at the University
out to bat. It’s not rainbows of Birmingham from
“I like to finish a game
participation to performance
with twenty laps” he pants. and butterflies. You’re sport”
“I believe if you have a going out to fight. Unless Zena Wooldridge, Director
healthy body you’ll have a you’re aggressive as an of Sport at the university
healthy mind.” opening batsman you’re added, “This event shows
Adding with some gusto, going to get injured or even how effectively sport brings
“When I finish cricket I’m worse, out.” together young people from
definitely going to run a But walking around cricketing career the my own little world.” When I walk in there different nations, cultures,
marathon.” the edge of the pitch with pocket-sized philosopher Although his wife, Sue, and look up they keep languages and religions
Langer, as he warms down, chats longingly about his was aware he intended me going in the right to have fun and make new
This, perhaps, is one
family, his garden, which to build a place to train, direction. Sometimes I’ll friends. This is the power
of the reasons why the I fail to understand what it of sport, and soccer in
man once called ‘the best is about this gritty player he calls his “sanctuary”, she visualised something read something and think
particular”
batsman in the world’, that has enraged England’s and his love of writing. small. A place that could to myself, ‘I’ve got to have
by Mark Waugh, has cricketers over the years. “In my rose garden”, house a treadmill, a couple that on my wall’.”
frustrated many of those Far from being an he explains. “I’ve got an of weights and perhaps a Although the left-handed City health initiative
on the opposing team. ominous figure, and apple tree, a peach tree, a stretching mat. batsman recognises his
nectarine tree, a big olive He failed to mention the hard work has helped him
launched
His focus, determination, someone Nasser Hussain
passion and desire are openly said he could have tree and my herb garden.” punch bag, the custom- achieve what he set out to As many fresher’s across
paramount, and clear from strangled, the Aussie Offering an unexpected built boxing ring and how accomplish, he also regards the country are settling
the minute you look into legend is rather genteel question, he asks, “Do you a former SAS soldier, his close bond with, fellow into a life of parties, fast
his eyes - this man means and softly spoken. know how good it is to pick covered in tattoos, would opening batsman, Matthew food and drinking copious
your own herbs, from your arrive every morning to Hayden as a key factor amounts of alcohol, one
business. When we’re not
own garden, for your own supervise his work-outs. that helped him turn from university is looking to
First to practice every discussing his illustrious help their students change
cooking?” It is here that he prepared yesteryear’s ugly duckling
and improve their lifestyle.
He continues, “We get so meticulously for the last into a stroke-playing City University London
caught up in the hustle and series in which England swan. are looking to enhance
bustle, and the business were white-washed. The duo who “missed their student experience
and the stress of everyday Langer, who is a huge each other” when they with the launch of a new
life, that we don’t make boxing fan, explains, “The were apart would openly initiative focused on health
time for the things that fight is won before you get exchange bear hugs in the and well-being.
really matter. It’s a cliché, in the ring, so I trained middle, and always gave ‘Well City’ is the
‘wake up and smell the like a heavyweight fighter. the impression of two boys University’s new healthy
campus initiative, designed
roses’, but it’s true”. Losing the Ashes was a living out a dream.
to encourage students to
He assures me, “When big kick up the backside “Matthew Hayden’s ‘take care of their minds
you smell a rose it really and the catalyst behind us my best mate and I think and bodies throughout their
gets you back living in the regaining that little urn. It that’s why we formed such studies’, with events taking
mould.” gave us determination and a successful partnership at place throughout the year
Although Langer is a new lease of life.” the top order for so long. as part of the scheme.
always in his garden, back The gym is a shrine to How many people can say These will include health
home in Perth, he assures his all-time sporting hero, they go to work with their road-shows which will visit
me it isn’t always to inspect Muhammad Ali. best friend? It’s always schools across campus
giving information on
the roses, or pick herbs “I love him”, Langer going to motivate you.”
fitness testing, nutrition
for his tea, at the bottom says with a smile. “He was As we get towards the end and how to access the
of his backyard that he such a brilliant, beautiful of our second lap around campus health and
has his own, custom-built athlete.” the boundary, Justin, ever counselling services.
gymnasium, that he claims With a certain amount of the philosopher, turns The initiative, to be
won back the Ashes. vigour he says, “The walls leaving me with this, launched by World and
“I use it for training”, he are covered in scribbles “Remember James, twenty Paralympic gold medallist
says with a huge smile. from a black felt marker”. years from now you will be Giles Long, starts with Well
“It’s a great place to “I’ve got quotes more disappointed by the City Week on October 6-10
2008 - for more information
meditate and just escape everywhere. Quotes about things you didn’t do than
visit:
from everything. It’s like courage and discipline. by the things you did.” city.ac.uk
The National Student, October 2008

SPORT 19

BUCS aid Right to Play


On October 1 British Matthew Pinsent, Haile Chris Robinson, UK
Universities & Colleges Gebreselassie and Carolina Director for Right To Play,
Sport (BUCS) made a big Kluft. said; “This is an incredibly
announcement regarding The deal is a significant exciting partnership for
students’ ability to one for both parties and Right To Play as it not
influence change across the also the UK charity only provides us with an
world. BUCS have agreed industry. The focus of the excellent way of raising
a five-year partnership deal is a ‘Pay for your funds but more importantly
with leading sport for Right To Play’ day on offers a partnership
development charity Right March 25 2009 which will that uses the skills and
To Play. encourage students to experiences of Britain’s
The charity is ‘an athlete- pay £1 to participate in youth and Britain’s coaches
driven international university sport. to contribute towards
humanitarian organisation Following the development and peace
that uses sport and play as announcement Right To throughout the world.”
a tool for development of Play and BUCS will now Karen Rothery, Chief
children and youth in the undertake a recruitment Executive at British
most disadvantaged areas drive to secure a Student Universities & Colleges
of the world’. Ambassador in every Sport (BUCS) was
Right To Play has many university and college equally enthused; “This
partnerships across the in the UK. These partnership is the first of “Britain’s university important the right to play is information about the
world and has recently ambassadors will have its kind for BUCS and over students understand better is. BUCS, Right To Play partnership between Right
signed a six-year deal the job of representing the long-term will show than anyone the sheer and the students of the To Play and BUCS, or to
with Chelsea football Right To Play and will be how student sport can power of the language UK will be able to make a get involved in raising
club. The organisation is in charge of leading their bring about social change of sport to communicate profound and meaningful money for the charity, log
supported by a number university’s attempts to in disadvantaged countries to children around the difference.” on to students4righttoplay.
of high profile athlete raise awareness and funds and the UK.” globe and they also know For those interested org.uk or bucs.org.uk/
ambassadors including for the charity. Robinson added; better than anyone how in getting involved there righttoplay

Cash provides backbone to British success


why everyone else had fallen record in the pursuit race in talented young athletes, they
In a special feature on the funding of athletes at the in the wake of the British. Beijing, and Noami Folkard, too will benefit from training
This comprehensive European silver medalist alongside our Olympians and
recent Olympic games, Ben Whitelaw tells us why support is something that archer, received their Paralympians in state-of-the-
many higher and further TASS scholarships whilst art facilities.”
his money is on continued success for Team GB education institutions studying at the University They really have thought

B
are adopting with a view of Birmingham and are proof of everything and money is
ritish Olympic sport Sydney in 2000, where they the UK’s top athletes. Each to developing the next that investment is essential. seemingly no object. Those
has grown up. Gone achieved a comparatively sport has a Performance generation of Ohorugus and Zena Wooldridge, Director projects alone will cost a cool
are the days of fitting meagre 28 medals. It seems Director who organises world Adlingtons. Thanks to the of Sport at Birmingham, £3 million.
training in after a tiring day inconceivable that, at the class coaching, the best sport National Lottery once again, explained, “Our sports Lest we forget, whilst
at work and gone is the idea games in Atlanta in 1996, science on offer, athlete’s the government has been able scholars are exceptional cash is a factor, no-one
of ‘playing’ a sport. Britain won a mere 15 medals competition schedule and to back the Talented Athlete young people; this next should underestimate
Thanks to a huge injection and only one gold. access to the most suited Sponsorship Scheme, a generation of athletes will the sheer bloody-minded
of money from the lottery, The domination of the facilities, all of which equates unique partnership between be inspired by Team GB’s determination of an athlete
both are relics of Britain’s British athletes is summed to £50,000 worth of assistance. sport and study. fantastic performances who wants to win gold.
amateurish and distant up best by the British Cycling On top of that, the athletes The programme awards in Beijing and will also Funding doesn’t guarantee
sporting past. Since 1994, team. Given £26 million to receive an Athlete Personal scholarships of £3,000 and inspire other young people success but provides a
over £3.5 billion has been prepare for Beijing, they Award which is paid directly bursaries of £1,500 to those to see how sport can change platform from which more
ploughed into British sport. were reportedly asked by a to the athlete themselves and athletes who have achieved people’s lives, and inspire the athletes can deliver. The
Much of it has been spent member of the Dutch team if works to cover living costs national recognition in nation.” tell-tale sign must be the
with the aim of increasing they were going to leave any With this in mind and fact that, knowing how much
participation but a greater medals for anyone else. They the 2012 London Olympics money had been ploughed
proportion than ever before ended up securing seven in sight, Sport England has into the Games, the British
has been given to those at golds from the ten events on No Olympic athlete would announced unprecedented Olympic Association aimed
for an eighth place finish to
the top level, those who have
a chance of being world class.
offer and have since become
the model which every sport
begrudge mentioning new investment for elite
training centres with the justify their expenditure.
Nowadays, Olympic athletes yearns to emulate. Put like how vital the injection intention of building a world
leading community support
Thanks to the unbreakable
iron cast will of the British
live their sport, immersing this, it is almost as if Sport
themselves in a structured England, the distributor of of lottery funding is system in Britain. athletes however, they
program of nutrition and lottery funds to sport, have The National Sports achieved fourth, effectively
study that allows them to taken it upon themselves to Centres, the cornerstone of climbing four places through
compete - and the results are be the Roman Abramovich of and personal sporting costs. their sport at a minimum the success and the training sweat and tears alone, a
startling. the Olympic sporting world, The amount depends on of Under 18 level and who base for 29 of the medal- fitting reward for four years
At the recent Olympics being ruthlessly efficient the level of performance are committed to combining winning athletes from of training running up to
in Beijing, Britain secured in their use of the lottery meaning an Olympic or studies whilst continuing Beijing, are the main target. the world’s greatest sporting
their best medals haul for money on offer and doing all World Championship medal their high level of sporting The strength and event.
a century as they brought they can to attract the best winning athlete could pocket performance. The money conditioning gym at Bisham No Olympic athlete would
home 47 medals, of which 19 coaches and support staff in almost £24,000. enables them to access Abbey will be extended for the begrudge mentioning how
were gold, and secured fourth the world with the sole aim of SportEnglandhavethought specialist sport science and benefit of the rowers, canoeists vital the injection of lottery
in the final medals table. getting gold. of everything and haven’t physiotherapy services whilst and hockey players whilst funding is.
A reported £235 million The key to the success left any aspect untouched. It also covering insurance, a new archery range with But no amount of money
was spent preparing the is UK Sport’s World Class is this unbeatable package transport, accommodation at video analysis capabilities can buy you spirit and,
athletes for the Games, a Performance Programme, of funding that Chris Hoy competitions and mentoring. and fixed speed cameras will based on those two weeks in
vast increase, thanks to a UK sport initiative which referred to after winning his It has been shown to work be installed at Lilleshall. Beijing, it seems the athletes
lottery money, on the £59 funds the national governing third gold medal in the track too. Paul Manning, a member Jennie Price, Sport England have plenty of that and
million pounds spent on bodies of sports to provide a cycling, citing ‘preparation of the British Cycling team Chief Executive said, “As we subsequently, plenty of gold
the run up to the Games in range of support services for and planning’ as the reason that smashed the world unearth and nurture more medals too.
SPORT
JUSTIN LANGER SPORT REPORTERS
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Major coup for Bath


Bath University and achievements in athletes passing through
have made the exciting youth development are the system at Team
acquisition of Brian renowned while his works Bath, a view expressed by
Ashton, the former as Head of National Roddy.
England Rugby Union Development provide a “This is a significant
National Coach, as key framework in which coup for us. We’ve acquired
Director of Coaching on a English Rugby discovers, someone here who has the
consultancy basis. supports and nurtures Midas touch in terms of
Team Bath’s move promising talent to this that ability to move talent
comes as the build- day. into excellence”.
up to the London 2012 However, Ashton is Before accepting this
Olympic Games begins under no illusions to his position Ashton had been
to gather pace and with inexperience in such a offered the role as Head
Bath’s training facilities wide-reaching role and of National Development
used by many returning fully understands the by the RFU in the wake of
Paralympic and Olympic role played by existing his dismissal as National
medal winners the coaches at the university. Coach in April 2008, in
foundations are already “Some of these coaches which he was replaced by
firmly in place for Ashton have just returned from 2003 World Cup winning
to help Britain’s athletes Beijing, there’s no way Captain Martin Johnson.
improve on their success I am going to walk in He rejected the offer with
in Beijing. and say ‘I don’t agree many seeing it as an
Unlike his previous with that – you’re doing unacceptable consolation
roles which have included that wrong’. That would after losing his job and
two spells at Bath Rugby, be absolutely foolish”. impossible to accept
working at Team Bath Working alongside considering the conduct of
will place him in charge of Ged Roddy, Director of English rugby’s governing
ensuring the progression Sports Development and body during the saga.
and development of all Recreation and university Since his controversial
athletes within a wide coaching teams, Ashton axing Ashton had taken
range of sports. In using will be well supported on a role with Sky
the high performance in his task of ensuring Sports on their Guinness
model he implemented continued and greater Premiership coverage, as
during his time as English accomplishments made well as personal business
Rugby’s Head of National as a result of using Bath’s ventures but Bath’s offer,
Development from 2002 world class facilities which sees him working
to 2005 across all sport at and coaching staff. With 150 days of the year,
Bath, Ashton is confident the quality of those two proved an altogether
that his methods can areas assured Ashton’s different challenge, one
“stand up in any sport capture is seen as the which is sure to help
in terms of eventually next substantial step propel Team Bath to the
achieving success”. in maximising the true forefront of university
Ashton’s successes potential of so many sport. Brian Ashton

Markets chaos hits Varsity match


The collapse of the biggest event in its “obviously a blow” and
financiers Lehman Brothers calendar, as the financial would “have an impact, but
has had an unlikely affect situation in the UK not to the extent that the
on university sport. worsens. match can’t go ahead.”
The annual Oxford and Bridges admitted that OURFC’s website still
Cambridge Varsity rugby the current climate “doesn’t advertises the “Lehman
match has lost its sponsor make things easier” but Brothers Varsity Match”
and is now in jeopardy. said finding a new sponsor - a deal with the Oxford
But Peter Bridges, Chair was “not an impossibility.” and Cambridge rugby clubs
of Oxford’s rugby club Due to a confidentiality that was set to run until
(OURFC), has insisted that agreement with the defunct 2010.
the match will go ahead in bank he refused to confirm Lehman Brothers, the
December. how large a financial deficit US investment bank, lost
OURFC may struggle the loss of sponsorship has billions of dollars in the US
to replace its sponsor for caused. mortgage market before
the match, traditionally But he said it was filing for bankruptcy.

thenationalstudent.co.uk Action from the 2007 Lehman Brothers Varsity Match

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