Elliot Goes to School

EPISODE ONE *Intro Music* *Elliot Snores* Radio: The wait is over! Pick up your copy today of the Elliot: Ughh first day of school *sigh* *sigh* TV: This! Is! Sparta! *other TV shows* Elliot: Fuck. *Elliot rides bike* Elliot: Woo! Bumper cars! Some random guy: Learn to drive, asshole! Mr. Cool: Blahblahblahblahblah sit down and all that shit. Hi, my name is Mr. Cool and Im going to be your Italian teacher for your sophomore year Brandon: Mr. Cool! Thats such a cool name! I wish my last name was Cool! Hahahahahahaha *snort* Mr. Cool: Now, to take attendance. Bob. Joe. Elliot. Elliot. Brandon: Hey Fagulah, he called your name! Elliot: What? Mr. Cool: *gasp* Are you Elliot? Elliot: Actually, theres a possible chance of my name being Elliot, but considering the fact that you are a stranger to me and do not exactly know what my name clearly is *7 years later* Elliot: But upon knowing about Brandons whereabouts, you obviously come to a conSome kid: Shut up! Brandon: His real name is Colin, but we call him Elliot cuz were cool. Hahahaha Mr. Cool: Yeah, whatever. Brandon

Brandon: Brandons not here! Please leave a message after the beep. BEEEEEEEP! Elliot: Thats Brandon Mr. Cool: I figured. Anyway, thats the attendance forBill Clinton: What, do you smoke too many dubies? You forgot me, dude! Mr. Cool: Oh, Im sorry. Bill Clinton. Brandon: (says some Italian stuff) *Bell rings* Mr. Higglesworth: Sit your fat asses down, you pack of huge condoms. Look at you little shits, with their yellow wristbands, and their biggest skateboarding shoes, and their hoodies over their heads, and their hot sports cars, and their hot girlfriends, and then their video games and oversized jeans, and their stupid sense of humor. You fagulahs make me sick. Literally, SICK! Hold on, lemme call the doctor. Brandon: Hahahahaha! This guys my kind of funny! Hahaha! Mr. Higglesworth: You know what? Your face is funny. Class: OOOHHHH! Brandon: Hey, thats not nice. Mr. Higglesworth: Your mom wasnt that very nice, either *Some student raises his hand* Mr. Higglesworth: What the hell do you want? Some student: Sometimes, I dream about cheese. Mr. Higglesworth: Well, thats great. Anyway, back to my f@$^tarded speech, which I never started because those fagulahs that are getting off on my grills, especially you, you dick sponge (points to Brandon)! Anyway, my name is Mr. Higglesworth, and if you do what I tell you to, then you all fail! Hahaha! Fail! Its such a funny word! Bleghahaha! Emo Kid: Heh. Mr. Higglesworth: No talking. F! Emo Kid: What the f*** is this sh**? Bill Clinton: Yo teacher! Yo yo yooo!

Mr. Higglesworth: What do you think you are? Some fagulah in a gang? Go yo yo yo mother f%&^er, F! *Elliot draws on paper* Mr. Higglesworth: Oh, look! We have a little artist in the class! Lets see how bad his drawing is! Ahahahaha! Not only an artist, but a fur fag! Ahaha, everyone point and laugh! Wahaha! *Throws drawing out window and hits kid on bike* Kid on bike: Aw f***! Francis: Hey! That is uncalled for! Mr. Higglesworth: Well, since this fagulah talked in class, pop quiz! *Mr. Higglesworth plays Wii while students take quiz* Brandon: Hey, guys! Did you ever play the game Second Life? Elliot (in his head): What does 3y(2x)98%32-6-n-x-3-poop = ? What the hell is this? Mr. Higglesworth: This is algebra, you fagulah. I heard your thoughts. F! Elliot: *sigh* Mr. Higglesworth: You talked, double F! Brandon: Wow! Double F! That sounds sexy! Mr. Higglesworth: You talked, A plus! Elliot: What? Mr. Higglesworth: F! Brandon: Heh, heh, hey Elliot. I can give you the answer to number one if you throw this paper at Mr. Higglesworth Mr. Higglesworth: No talking during quiz! A plus Brandon: Never mind! Ha! Fagulah. *Bell rings* Mr. Higglesworth: The bell rang, all of you fail.