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ALMOST-HERO Sometimes we do not realize where lies our last chance in life... .

I feel sorry for not having been strong enough, For being so down, so absolutely fragile, So scared, and so victimized. My whole existence was raped by the time I saw you, So that I could not notice that you were my last, and only, chance Of saving my absolutely priceless freedom and existence. It could be easy, and so I thought it was..., But he knelt down, Offered me a ring..., Made it all look so much like the flicks: Been watching long time, those things! One could then blame Brasil Or those who have created the movies... : All so incredibly surreal! How could love mean anything true? In full humiliation (or desperation?), Someone offers you a ring Whilst kneeling down at you... . Do think I deserve adoration, always! However, the gesture... : Same as that of the priest Who kneels down before the Christ That his own Church has crucified. The priest kneels down because he feels Extremely comfortable in an artificial position That allows him to play around sexually With whomever he likes... . Disguised as saint, he cannot look any more acceptable being legally single: Married to someone who is not of his nature And obviously cannot ever be. God knows only, but it is top blasphemy: Marriage should make man and woman equate, But, in the relationship between God and men, Stupid is the person who cannot differentiate! Just like the priest kneels down, The American movies portray: 1/6

God knows it is all brain-washing, But how can a woman fight that anyway? He knelt down, For God's sake! I am sure that I was perfect And totally deserved it, But, like the poor mud-made image, Which has nothing to do with what it is supposed to represent, I stare, I glance... , And know that he is only doing that For thinking that forgiveness is my privilege, Like it does not depend on anyone else... . By kneeling down before me, Such a stupid creature, Also made from mud, He thinks that he is now forgiven, That God will trust. God, however, has never provided me with the forgiving power that he would've hoped for... . He lives in total delusion Just like the priest. The poor image, Symbol of maximum blasphemy, With imagined forgiveness that he, out of earth, Thinks he is reaching for, And me, Poor mud-made creature, Symbol of the kindness That could never inhabit a human being: Both expected to be beyond whatever he pretends To be making lifetime bond with. The problem is the way they've described the life of poor Jesus, I reckon... . Jesus has never written a word about himself And the apostles, I guess, Never had enough time to write a line properly as well: Always extremely busy helping everyone else! It astonishes me terribly: A man, so brave as to be picked by God's son, Would have terminated his days hanging himself, As the Bible states some apostles have done. I do remember him, his face... : 2/6

So, so..., humiliated! Not really before me, however... . I could see how he cared looking around, Making sure everyone else was proud. The ring, the so expected gesture... : Only a stupid woman knows what that is! It is incredible what they do to brain-wash us, Make us be as unhappy as nobody else in the universe: Experiencing illusion whilst the males' organic matter actually bursts. Basically, he was there... And so was the Lord of the Rings! Something wrong with my neurons... . I thought of mum, Perhaps about to die: She dreamed, her entire life, that I would marry Even though she herself got really doomed with the tie. Marriage, as they say, or portray, Looks simply wrong, Mistaken... . The priest kneels down before the altar, Holds true hope the Romans (those homosexuals!), Who lived in total orgy with the public money, Who used their power to oppress As well as to scoff at everyone else, Have written, or suggested, Something holy to a person like him: Selfish at a point of helping nobody! My candidate to lifetime bond Kneels down before a mud-made image And holds sincere hope that I (a true human being!), Who used my heart that far to give and aid, Will finally say: Let's the past erase, From now on you are healed, You are finally with the good's seal! Priests read what is read from someone else's writing (Someone else who read), Go to the church once a week these days, if so (No cleaning, no watching over: 3/6

All someone else's go!). For those who know, nonetheless, That should be their ONLY allowed biblical role: Cleaning, watching, and fixing, Their churches In full humiliation and proof to the Lord That love is around, with soul and note. There, my candidate: Other people's stuff (No cleaning, no watching over: All, preferably, nobody's go!). For those who know, however, If not performing those actions, Not, to love, close. Yet, all kneel down, And it is only on the dream That it suffices doing so. I could think that that was enough, but not a chance! Am sure you guessed: I tried to split later on, But somehow thought that it had been too strong (You holding my arm, telling me, not mattering what it were, to use you instead... : You knew and could have saved me). Look at me now: Whole life stolen, My own organism violated, Artificially and criminally corroded... . I did not want you kneeling down, But certainly needed you to keep me from the fall. All laws infringed in every possible continent... . My own diamond brains and body: They used, stole, and wasted, In worst ever world massacre. You were not with me by the moment in which you should have been And I then took the ring. Not a clue I had on the enthymeme involved As consequence of that clause of acceptance: 4/6

In exchange, my priceless historical turn... . It was not a generous gesture: It was all my being and life In exchange for smoke and pride. Perfection, knowledge of twin souls: Matches made on Earth, supposed to be God's intended bonds. Quite a shame, Usually does not last for long: It lasts for the time that dynamics of the universe allows. Yet, who can skip, even if for a second, whatever is this strong? The things they've done to prevent me from living, From being, from staying, In my own life, body, and time: All surely unbelievable! God knows that I was never a coward: Never envied, never used... . I've done it all right, whole life: Hoping, like Jesus, that people would be civilized enough and return my sacrifice. I wish I could state out loud: You were the angel God sent on the grounds of mercy! You were my almost-hero instead: Right there, before my martyrdom. I held my hand close to yours On the intuition you would not let go. Nevertheless, spiritual power comes with the soul and, On those things, Only good Lord knows... . Lost life, babe; Lost brains and body. Crying, I now passed all the years of my life Or the years have passed me by... . From the worst darkness, I write. It might sound really strange, But you are the power that kept me going After I was made so completely whatever 5/6

That I fell as if all has gone from the universe. Missing your kiss to make me strong, To finally nullify 'the works' of those doing wrong... . From hell, I recall: Your sweat, your patience, and your love (On the wood, like Jesus or Joseph...). Miss running now... . I should have escaped by the time it was still possible that I did so. Clouds, lightening... : All too fantastic to allow me to perceive that it was not time to enjoy or lean on beauty, but it was time to run away and hide From those who match dust, turbulence, and fight. It was supposed to be an ode to you, My almost-love, But it has become my so long, my farewell: Now for ages struggling to get out of hell. Laws are there, just like the priest and his sanctity Or like him and his purity... : All so truthful from outside! Who, say from there, is able to tell The difference between planned reverse shooting And perfect armory event When a total stranger Offers the most modern gun available and fits it in their hands?