Withhold Not Correction

1. Your child is made in the image of God.

Gen. 1:27- “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created
him; male and female he created them.”

A. God is eternal.
B. God is logical.
C. God can communicate.
D. God creates.
E. God possesses authority.
F. God is righteous.

2. Due to Adam and Eve’s sin, children are born into sin.
-Gen. 5:1-3- “…his is the written account of Adam's line. When God created man, he
made him in the likeness of God. 2 He created them male and female and blessed
them. And when they were created, he called them "man. " When Adam had lived 130
years, he had a son in his own likeness, in his own image; and he named him Seth.”

-Gen. 8:21- “The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: "Never
again will I curse the ground because of man, even though [a] every inclination of his
heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I
have done.”

-Ps. 58:3- “Even from birth the wicked go astray; from the womb they are wayward
and speak lies.”

-Ps. 51:5- “Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived
me.”

-Prov. 22:15- “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will
drive it far from him.”

Note: Despite the fact that children are born into sin, children are a gift from God!
Ps. 127:3- “Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.”

3. We must discipline/training our children and use the “rod.”

-Eph. 6:4- “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the
training and instruction of the Lord.”

-Prov. 19:18- “Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party
to his death.”
-Heb. 12:5-12- “And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses
you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose
heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he
punishes everyone he accepts as a son." Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating
you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined
(and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true
sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected
them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!
Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines
us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the
time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace
for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and
weak knees. 13"Make level paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled,
but rather healed.”

- All discipline is motivated by love not fear (6-8).

- Discipline should produce sorrow (v.11).
- The purpose of discipline is to “bring healing” (vs. 12 -13).
- Discipline trains and produces “a harvest of righteousness and peace” in the
person’s life (v.11).

-Deut. 6:4-9- “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the
LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them
on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the
road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands
and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and
on your gates.”
- We must teach our children the ways of Christ ourselves. We should have “formal”
and “informal” instruction of the Word in the home. We can not delegate our
“parental authority” to someone else (church, Sunday school, VBS, etc…). We are
held responsible for their instruction in the Lord!

-Prov. 13:24- “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful
to discipline him.”

-Prov. 22:6- “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not
turn from it.”

-Prov. 23:13-14- “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with
the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.
-Prov. 29:15- “The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself
disgraces his mother.”
- We need “rod” and “reproof.” This is why we must explain why we are disciplining
our children. The rod without words fails to teach our children the difference between
right and wrong. Words without the rod become shallow, empty air!

4. When parents (especially fathers) do not discipline their children, they are not
following the Word of God.

-Eph. 6:2-4- "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with
a promise— "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the
earth. "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training
and instruction of the Lord.”

-Eph. 5:22-24-“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is
the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the
Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their
husbands in everything.”
-Fathers are the head of the home and children must obey the father. They must also
obey their mother as well.

5. Correction must be within reason!

-Ps. 103:13-14- “As a father has compassion on his children,

so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are
formed, he remembers that we are dust.”

-God has compassion on us! We must have compassion on our children as well!

-Col. 3:21- “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become
discouraged.”

- Parents must make sure that they are disciplining their children according to
“measure.” The child must be able to understand for what reason they are being
punished (ex: very young ones).

A. Are they physically capable of meeting our expectations?

B. Are they mentally capable of meeting our expectations? (This does not mean that
we avoid discipline, but we can lessen the severity of it due to their understanding
level)!
C. When you watch their facial expressions, it will help you know what they are
mentally capable of!
-Gen. 4:5- “...but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was
very angry, and his face was downcast.”
- Watch for facial expressions! Cain’s attitude was written on his face and everyone
around him could see it.
- Do not be afraid to discipline your children for their attitudes and their actions.
Children must learn self-control.

6. Husband and wife are partners in life (and in family discipline).

-Gen. 1: 26 and 28- “Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness,
and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock,
over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."… God
blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and
subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living
creature that moves on the ground."

-Gen. 2- (the woman was made to be a “helper” for the man in the work of
management).

-Eph. 5:24- “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to
their husbands in everything.”
- When there is a disagreement over the “severity” of discipline, it is usually because
the wife is emotional. In this case the wife must “submit to her husband!”

-Ex. 21:15, 17- "Anyone who attacks his father or his mother must be put to
death.”… "Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.”
- Even in the Old Testament, the mother had authority in the home (after the father).
- The mother’s authority was delegated, but REAL!

-Note: Children must not see “cracks” where they can drive a wedge between Dad
and Mom. Parents must work together as partners in managing the home. Even if one
parent does not agree with another, they must not let the child see it. It must be
discussed and dealt with in private. If it is done in “the open,” the child will learn to
get the “weaker” parent to sympathize with him. This will cause more rebellion in the
child!

7. Children should be included in fellowship! There should NOT be a separation.

-Joshua 8:33-35- “Then all Israel, with their elders and officers and judges, stood on
either side of the ark before the priests, the Levites, who bore the ark of the covenant
of the LORD, the stranger as well as he who was born among them. Half of them
were in front of Mount Gerizim and half of them in front of Mount Ebal, as Moses the
servant of the LORD had commanded before, that they should bless the people of
Israel. And afterward he read all the words of the law, the blessings and the cursings,
according to all that is written in the Book of the Law. There was not a word of all
that Moses had commanded which Joshua did not read before all the assembly of
Israel, with the women, the little ones, and the strangers who were living among
them.”
- In Hebrew, the “little ones” is actually “toddlers.” The kids were in the mist of the
fellowship meetings. They learned by example. They had more pressure on them to
behave because their parents were present and not separated from them.

-Some other proofs that children were in the mist of fellowship is in:
-2 Chr. 20:13- “Now all Judah, with their little ones, their wives, and their children,
stood before the LORD.” (Read the whole chapter if you would like)!

-Neh. 8:2-3 –“So Ezra the priest brought the Law before the assembly of men and
women and all who could hear with understanding on the first day of the seventh
month. Then he read from it in the open square that was in front of the Water Gate
from morning until midday, before the men and women and those who could
understand; and the ears of all the people were attentive to the Book of the Law.”

-Luke 18:15- “Then they also brought infants to Him that He might touch them; but
when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them.” (Note: Read on to see that Jesus was
not happy about this)!

-Mark 10:14- “But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them,
“Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the
kingdom of God.” (Note: Same story as Luke 18:15).

-Eph. 6:1- “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

-Col. 3:20- “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the
Lord.” (Note: The epistles were read aloud as people gathered in their homes to meet.
The children would have been in the mist of the group listening to the letter. Apostle
Paul targeted the children in his letters because he knew that they would be their
listening to the instruction as well! We must also learn to “sprinkle” our fellowship
time with instruction and application that is relevant for a child)!

8. As parents, we will make many mistakes!

-Heb. 9:28- “so Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many. To those who
eagerly wait for Him He will appear a second time, apart from sin, for salvation.”

-Romans 3:23- “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God…”

-1 John 1:8-10-“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is
not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to
cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him
a liar, and His word is not in us.”
- Due to the fact that we are also “sinners” (saved by God’s grace), we are imperfect.
We will fight with our mates and do wrong to our children at some point in time. We
will falsely accuse them, prematurely judge them, unjustly afflict them, and
unwittingly confuse them. However, we must continue to obey God’s Word and
discipline our children. When we are wrong, we admit it and apologize. Our children
will see a humble Christ-like example in us as we do this. Imperfect parents can be
godly parents! God always honors obedience to His ways!

Two Sad Tales

There were two Father’s in the Old Testament who did NOT discipline their children
and “paid for it”:

1. Eli-
-1 Samuel 3:11-14 GNB- “The LORD said to him, “Some day I am going to do
something to the people of Israel that is so terrible that everyone who hears about it
will be stunned. On that day I will carry out all my threats against Eli's family, from
beginning to end. I have already told him that I am going to punish his family forever
because his sons have spoken evil things against me. Eli knew they were doing this,
but he did not stop them. So I solemnly declare to the family of Eli that no sacrifice
or offering will ever be able to remove the consequences of this terrible sin.”
Note: To get a better idea of what happened Read 1 Sam. 2:12-26 as well!

2. David-
Solomon (who wrote the book of Proverbs) didn’t learn discipline principles from his
own experience nor from his social environment, because in the home where he was
reared he had probably never received a corrective spanking from his father. For some
reason, David never corrected the stubbornness and disobedience of his children. He
failed in that area. He was a righteous man in many areas, but the Word of God shows
his failure to behave in his role as a father. When his son Amnon raped his sister, most
of the Bible versions just say that David was furious when he learnt about the sexual
violence, but the Old Testament reveals much more:

A. 2 Samuel 13:21 GW – “When King David heard about this, he became very
angry. But David didn't punish his son Amnon. He favored Amnon because he
was his firstborn son.”

2 Samuel 13:21 CEV- “When David heard what had happened to Tamar, he was
very angry. But Amnon was his oldest son and also his favorite, and David would
not do anything to make Amnon unhappy.”

B. Another Bible passage reveals how David dealt with his son Adonijah:
 1 Kings 1:6 BBE-“Now all his life his father had never gone against him or said
to him, Why have you done so?

1 Kings 1:6 HCSB-“But his father had never once reprimanded him by saying,
“Why do you act this way?.”

1 Kings 1:6 MSG-“His father had spoiled him rotten as a child, never once
reprimanding him.

Perhaps David did not suffer as strong divine punishments as Eli received because David
was married to several women and he didn’t have, as a king, time to administer his
immense family. Such weakness may not have cost him the curses that Eli reaped, but it
did not deliver him from serious problems with his children. His son Absalom, who was
never spanked, took his throne and tried to kill him, acting with extreme violence, raping
the concubines of his own father! The case of Absalom shows the mistakes of those who
believe that only children reared with discipline turn out violent. The opposite was true in
the case of Absalom. His brother Amnon, reared without ever receiving a beating,
committed a violent act, raping his own sister!

The secret then for not suffering similar problems in the family is not to follow the
modern fashion of avoiding physical discipline, but to adopt a balanced posture: a child
reared in a violent way or without physical punishment eventually commits violence, but
a child reared with the wise application of biblical discipline will have very more chance
to lead a life marked by a good and correct behavior.

Living all his childhood in the home of David, seeing Amnon, Absalom and Adonijah in
their wicked behaviors, Solomon knew what lack of discipline was by his own
experience. In fact, he suffered himself the consequences of lack of discipline in his
father’s home, because his spoiled brother Adonijah tried to take the government from
Solomon, and daddy David did not act. Spoiled Adonijah was willing to kill Solomon to
seize the government. Now wonder Solomon was passionate about teaching others to
learn to discipline their children! Many of his hardships might have been avoided, if
his own father would have trained his children!