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BOOKS BY OWUSU ACHAMFOUR

Hooking Up, Hanging Out, and Relationships

AUTHORS BIOGRAPHY
Owusu Achamfour was raised in Worcester, Massachusetts, and is a Ghanaian-American. Growing up as a child, he lived in a conservative Christian family home, where the shaping of his values took place. He believes firmly in acceptance: accepting ones own self and accepting people as they are. Over the years, some of his hobbies have included volunteering in his local community, playing music on the keyboard, and playing sports.

Hooking Up, Hanging Out, and Relationships

documented by

OWUSU ACHAMFOUR
edited by

CHRISTIANA KIM

perfecting the art of publishing

COPYRIGHT INFORMATION 84 PRESS

www.84press.com College Sex: Hooking Up, Hanging Out, and Relationships. Copyright 2011 by Owusu Achamfour. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form by any electronic or mechanical means including photocopying, recording, or information storage and retrieval without permission in writing from the publisher. For information, address: 84 PRESS Subsidiary Rights Department: PO Box 20053 Worcester, MA, 01602 Library of Congress Control Number: 2011926049 ISBN: 978-0-9834864-0-4

NOTE
As you read on, know that anything contained in the following pages inherits some risk to cause emotional and/or physical damage upon it being read or followed. This book is not a substitute for medical, legal, or any expert advice in no manner whatsoever; seek professional help if needed. Your discretion should be your guide when following any advice from this book. If you fail to do so, you may encounter peril at your own risk, and you are responsible for your own actions. If you are emotionally unstable or cant handle the information in this book, then dont read on. For ethical and privacy reasons, students shared their stories and quotations in anonymity. Unless you contributed material for this book, anything that bears resemblance to your own personal life is a matter of coincidence. Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure the accuracy and completeness of information contained in this book, we assume no responsibility for errors, inaccuracies, omissions, or any inconsistency herein. Any slights of people, places, or organizations are unintentional. Not all information contained herein reflects the authors personal beliefs, unless noted otherwise. Dont continue to read if you dont accept all the terms on this page.

INTRODUCTION
Page i Page ii Page v Page 1 Page 3 Page 25 Page 61 Page 63 Page 75 Page 105 Page 131 Page 133 Page 137 Page 141 Page 142 Page 144 Page 147 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS MY ARGUMENT FOR THIS BOOK AUTHORS LETTER

PART 1: THE STORIES

CHAPTER 1: STORIES BY THE GUYS CHAPTER 2: STORIES BY THE GIRLS

PART 2: THE QUOTATIONS

CHAPTER 3: GUY TALK CHAPTER 4: GIRL TALK CHAPTER 5: GROUP TALK

PART 3: THE QUESTIONS

CHAPTER 6: QUESTIONS BY THE GUYS CHAPTER 7: QUESTIONS BY THE GIRLS

APPENDIX
OWUSU TALKS ABOUT COLLEGE SEX GLOSSARY INDEX

ABOUT THIS BOOK

Part 1 If you had to tell a true story based on your hooking up, hanging out, and/or relationship experiences in college, what would it be? Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 contain stories that took place on various college campuses as told by students. Part 2 If you had to give your take directed to students of the opposite sex based on your personal hooking up, hanging out, and/or relationship experiences in college, what would it be? Chapter 3 contains quotes from college guys directed to college girls. Chapter 4 contains quotes from college girls directed to college guys. Chapter 5 contains quotes in dialogue form. Part 3 If you had to ask one question related to hooking up, hanging out, and/or relationships in college, what would it be? Chapter 6 and Chapter 7 contain questions that college students asked. They are meant to be discussed among your peer group.

This book is dedicated to My Family, My Friends, & All College Students across the United States of America.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS (Shout-out)
I was behind the core idea of this book. However, I still have a lot of people to thank. I would like to thank all the students who gave me their permission to write their stories and to use their quotes. Although I came up with the subtitle for this book, a Brown University undergraduate, Ariel Caldwell, suggested that College Sex should be the title of the book. I would also like to thank Lisa Jeanne Graf, a graphic designer, for her dedication in designing the book cover. Christiana Kim, a copy editor for the University of Massachusetts Bostons independent student newspaper, served as the editor of this book. And at the end, I would like to thank my family and friends for their support.

MY ARGUMENT FOR THIS BOOK

In this book, college students get the opportunity to be who they want, and to say what they want (drum rolls please). Hooking up, hanging out, and relationships in college are all about fun. However, not having at least a little bit of knowledge on how things go about can be a cause for disaster. Regardless of what your major or career aspiration is, hooking up, hanging out, or being in a relationship while in college is something that many do. So at some point you may have questions, or may simply want to read a book, or even write one about it. I did research and found that a few books were published about dating in college, so I wanted to contribute to that genre of literature. Therefore, I decided to write my own book. Out of conversations that I had with college students about hooking up, hanging out, and relationships in general, I have compiled ones that were specific to what happens in college into this book, with the idea of genuinely portraying everyday courtship experiences as they are on campuses. It is not the objective of this book to tell anyone how to behave when he or she hooks up, hangs out, or chooses to be in a relationship while in college. Far from that, I believe once students combine the anecdotal evidence (the stories, the quotations, and the questions) with their personal experiences and gut feeling, they can make their own decisions that will best serve their self-interest. Part 1 contains short biographies based on the accounts of students. Part 2 and Part 3 contain the opinion of many students: quotations directed to students of the opposite sex, intellectually intriguing questions, and group discussions. I documented all three parts. Metaphorically, I consider College Sex as a fireside book for guys and girls in college, one that is well worth reading.

So why is this book worth reading? You should continue to read for three main reasons: firstyou will be entertained, secondyou will gain a much bigger picture of the hooking up, hanging out, and relationship scene in college, and third you will learn something new that will help you make your own decisions. To elaborate on the first reason, this book has entertainment value. Even if you set aside the other two reasons, which have practical value, one of the main objectives of this book is to offer entertainment to college students. If you learn something valuable, then sweet. If not, read the narratives, the quotations, the group discussions, and the discussion questions for fun. The narratives and group discussions will make you laugh. The quotations and discussion questions will generate great debate topics. They will spark exciting conversations that will be sure to engage all your friends at the cafeteria table. To elaborate on the second reason, the stories will allow you to go beyond your personal experiences and share in those of others. You will find something to identify with, and you will realize that other college guys and girls are going through experiences similar to yours. To make an analogy, this book gives you some of the pieces to the jigsaw puzzle (hooking up, hanging out, and relationships on campus are a mystery) so you can put things together yourself and see more of the big picture. To elaborate on the third reason, this book can be helpful if you are puzzled by questions that you cant seem to grasp. For example, if you are trying to make a decision whether to hook up, to hang out, or to engage in a committed relationship while on campus, the stories and group discussions contained in here will undoubtedly provide you with differences in perspective that will help you make your own decision, one that is well

informed and best suited to your situation. I wrote this book because I sincerely think it is a good idea to document everyday courtship experiences in college. It can benefit college students and change lives instead of just letting them go to waste. I hope you see what Im saying. To sum up my argument for this book, it will entertain you, give you knowledge as you get to see the big picture, and in turn, you can make well informed decisions. All these three reasons show that no matter how you look at it, this book is needed. Well, enjoy reading College Sex as I enjoyed documenting it.

AUTHORS LETTER
Dear College Student: The college campus, as a courtship ground, is a place where many things are possible. As a college student myself, I hope that you will enjoy reading College Sex. Ultimately, the fun and enduring memories of hooking up, hanging out, and relationships in college are outside the pages of this book. They come from you having your own fun. In the future when you look back, you should not have any major regrets. Instead, you should be satisfied that starting from now, you lived your college life to the fullest. According to the students whom I spoke to, all the stories recounted in here are completely true. Best of Luck, Owusu Achamfour Author

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3

Stories by the Guys

CHAPTER 1

Hooking Up
YES
A physics professor had a saying that goes, Never buy a girl a drink unless you are hundred percent sure that youre gonna get laid. My friend went to a bar where he was checking out a girl. At the end, he told the girl that a physics professor said, Never buy a girl a drink unless you are hundred percent sure that youre gonna get laid. He then asked, Having said that, can I buy you a drink? And the girl replied, Yes.

KNOW A GIRL REALLY WELL BEFORE YOU INVITE HER OVER

A girl, whom I did not know that well called me one day and said, You know can I come over and stuff? We had hooked up before in the past, so I said, Thats fine. She then showed up. She was really drunk, and I kissed her for about a minute. After that, she spent the next two hours throwing up all over my room. Make sure you know a girl really well before you invite her over.

Hooking Up, Hanging Out, and Relationships

I HAD TO PEE
I was at a frat party where I started mixing drinks: whiskey, vodka, and lots of others. It was bad news. I blacked out for about three hours. Next thing I know, this girl was dragging me back to my dorm. We hooked up and had sex. Then I had to pee, so I stood up and peed to the side of her. She asked, What are you doing? And I told her, Peeing.

LAVA LAMP
I was twenty-two years old and living in San Diego. I went down to a bar in Pacific Beach with my friends, where we ended up hooking up with some three girls who were all in college and lived together. They each had their own separate room, so we went to go handle our business. We went back to their place and started drinking. While we were in the middle of hooking up, the girl I was with decided she wanted to stop. She said that she couldnt do this. I agreed, Okay, no problem, since that was her decision. Eventually, we started back up again, and she said, No, no, no. I cant do this. After starting and stopping for a while, I became pissed. She had fallen asleep, so I got up to leave. I was angry, drunk, and decided to take her remotes, which I threw out of her window. I figured that I wasnt going to leave empty handed, so I grabbed her lava lamp on the way out the door. My friends met up with me in the car when they were done. While showing it to them, I said, Oh, look what I grabbed. I grabbed a lava lamp. My other friend said, Holy shit, me too. I grabbed a remote from her. We all thought the night had a funny ending.
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THE SIGN ON THE DOOR

My roommate had a girl over in his bed while we had not yet decided on a universal signal for when we bring a girl over. Since it was very early into freshman year, we werent really clear on what the rules were. I came home one night very tired at 4 a.m. A sign was on the door, but I didnt recognize it. When I went in, I didnt notice them. And he asked me, Hey, what are you doing? He was trying to tell me that he had a girl in the room, but I didnt realize it. Then I said, Shhhhhhh. Go to sleep. Ill talk to you in the morning. I tried going to sleep, and it hit me at the back of my head. OH SHOOT. THAT WAS THE SIGN ON THE DOOR! Thinking I was asleep, they had sex all night. And he made fun of me for it when we went to breakfast the next morning. That goes to show, you have to be clear on setting the rules.

A GIRL WHO IS WELL KNOWN

I hadnt talked to this girl in about a year, although I was friends with her on AIM and Facebook. One day, she just randomly showed up on Facebook. My friend dared me to just send her a message saying hey, so I said hey to her. Then about four days later, she ended up coming down to my dorm and getting with me. It was very interesting because Im more or less someone you would call a loser, and her dad is a legend of Nascar, so it was cool to get with a girl who is as well known as her.

Hooking Up, Hanging Out, and Relationships

AS WE WERE DRIVING
One time, I was with my girlfriend and we decided to go to the park. It was during the summer, and I was taking summer classes at my college while she was enrolled in a summer program being held there for high school students. She had just graduated, and was about to enter college the upcoming fall. We went to a secluded park, which we had to drive down a very narrow and bumpy road to get to. Although it was extremely hot in the summer, there were a lot of trees that guided the path to the park, so we had a nice shade to drive under. When we got there, we held hands and walked around looking at the ducks in a pond. Then we decided to climb up a hill to enter some bushes for a walk. When we got there, we started kissing. Her back was lying on top of a huge rock as I was lying on top of her. We continued making out. Eventually, we went behind the rock to stay out of view in case someone was walking a dog. When we got behind the rock, we started getting more into the kissing and touching. We ended up having sex while fully clothed. After we were done, I was bruised. My left knee was cut because I scrapped it against a small piece of rock. And my penis was bruised because it came in contact with the teeth of my zipper when I inserted it through the fly of my pants. Ouch. We held each others hand and walked back to the parking lot. We got in the car and started to drive back to campus along the narrow road. As we were driving, I had only my left hand on the steering wheel, so I was able to unbutton and put my other hand in my pants to pull out my penis to examine it.
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I was looking at the tip and shaft for more bruises caused by the zipper. My girlfriend was laughing at the whole ordeal of me holding my penis in my hand while driving. Soon enough, we gained company when we spotted an old couple a few feet ahead. I quickly put my penis back in my pants, so they wouldnt see it. I came to a gradual stop for them to cross the street. Then we drove off and returned to campus.

I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN

I drank Four Loko and got extra schmelted on one Halloween night. I went to a party on campus with some of my friends. While I was dancing at the party, I was on the wall, and a girl started grinding on me. I soon realized she was not wearing any panties, so in my inebriated state of mind, I decided to pull my penis out of my pants to have sex with her, even though the Gold Pack was in the back pocket. Halfway through, I pulled out because I noticed what I was doing. That was one of the dirtiest things I have ever done in my life, so I will never do that again.

THEY COULDNT SIGN US IN

I went to college in Boston, and one of the colleges in the area where I hung out was Catholic affiliated, which had a rule that students couldnt have people of the opposite sex overnight as a guest. My friend and I met two girls that attended the school, and we wanted to spend the night there, but we couldnt because they couldnt sign us in. They got two random guys to pretend they were our friends, so they could sign us in. Thats how we got in.

Hooking Up, Hanging Out, and Relationships

The two girls were roommates; therefore, my friend and I were hooking up in the same room, which felt awkward. Given that the furniture to sleep on were little twin beds that were ten feet apart, it got really hot in there, so it smelled, but we ended up sleeping over anyway. In the morning, I felt weird, but we went to the dinning hall to eat breakfast, and I just hugged them and said bye when we finished.

MY ROOMMATE JACKING OFF

I shared a double with my roommate my freshman year. We lived in a suite with other people and I could hear almost everything that went on in the next room over. My room was right across from the living room. The guy living in the next room over from mine was a senior and his room was a single. One time, he brought over a freshman girl who was on the volleyball team. She was wearing her volleyball outfit, both the jersey and shorts. It was in black, and she was number eighteen. She ended up spending the night. During the middle of the night, they started to have sex. And you could hear the girl moaning from our room. When I looked over to his bed, I saw my roommate jacking off while they had sex. The next day, some of my suitemates and I were watching TV in the common room as we were talking about all the sex noise we heard during the previous night. I told them about my roommate jacking off. They laughed.

THE ULTIMATE WALK OF SHAME BACK TO THE ROOM

After a night of partying, I started to fall asleep at two oclock in the morning. My friend said, Mike you blew it. That girl over there was giving you a lap dance while you were passed out, and you told her to get off you. I said to him, Noabsolutely not. I went over to consult the girl: Did I really tell you to get off me? She replied, Yeah. I explained that I didnt mean it, so she suggested that we should go down to her room. And I said, Sure, so we went down to her room, and started hooking up. She was naked and on top of me, and right when my shirt came off, her RA walked in to tell her, Your roommate is passed out in the lounge. Get him out of there because shes sleeping in here tonight. I had to leave for her roommates convenience, and it was the ultimate walk of shame back up to the room I was staying at.

A WINK TO THE WINGMAN ON STAGE

My friend, who attends my college, got with a well-known rappers wingman after a concert on campus during the 20102011 academic year. She and her friend, who is not a pupil at my college, but came there to visit, went to the concert. During the performance, they took their bras off and threw them on stage. The bras coming off were used as a little wink to the wingman. And afterward, they got some security guards to get them the wingman and the well-known rappers number. The girls texted the rapper and his wingman back and forth, and got an address for where to meet the wingman. They went to his hotel and took it from there.
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