Anger Management

The 3 Minute Anger Guide
Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Title Page How to Recognize Anger and Handle it effectively When Anger Leads to Abuse Commit to Change and Manage Anger Early Warning Signs and Your Triggers Taking Time Out Relaxation to Counteract Anger One Thing at a Time Substance Abuse, Depression and Anger Catastrophic Stress = Catastrophic Anger Learning Assertiveness Skills Learning Better Communication Techniques Teaching children and teens how to control anger Self-Esteem and Anger Forgiveness When to Seek Professional Help Highly Recommended Links Get Anger Management that is as individual as anger itself
How to Rec ognize Anger and Ha ndle it effectively

Anger is a feeling th at has to be recognized outright. Anger co uld be a st art of s om ething deepe r, like rage or violent actio ns and rea ctions. Yo uve got to control yo ur ange r, be cause it has the ability to control yo u.
Anger is be st recognized and be st co ntrolled if it is m ore understood. The first step in better unders tanding anger is to know what the types of anger are. If you know the cause of yo ur ange r, the be tter you can c omb at it.
Here are the types of anger and a short de scription of what they are.
1. Be hav ior al Anger. This type of anger is c omprised of aggressive and cruel actions. It incl ines mostly on the physical aspe ct. It usually implies an attack tow ards the subje ct of the anger, usually a person. It is expressed thro ugh tro uble-mak ing, physical attack and def iance. 2. V erbal anger. This type of anger, on the other hand, me rely Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
uses words and not a ctions. It is expressed mostly by ope nly speaking i nsulting words and hurtf ul criticisms. Accusing somebody of a crime or of a wro ng-doing is also an e xample of verbal anger.
3. P assive Anger. Passive anger is sh own mostly thro ugh mo cker y, or thro ugh avoid ing a cert ain ins tance. People who are d ispl aying this type of anger are not showing their anger outrig ht but are devi sing covert ways of expressing it. They do not confr ont a person or a si tuation.
4. Self-inflicted anger. This type of anger is the o ne that is directed tow ard a perso ns own body. Somet imes, peo ple sho wing this t ype of anger te nd to s tarve them selves or e at too m uc h, for e xample. These are the people i nto the idea of pun ishing their own self for s om eth ing wrong t hey have done. http://pradeepaggarwal.com/catalogue.pdf 5. Chronic anger. People with chro nic anger are just an gry in general. They are angry with their lives, with t heir selve s, with the people aro und them and the wh ole world in gener al. They dont necessarily h ave a defi nite reason why. Mo st of the t ime, they are just angry for app arently no reason at all.
6. Judgmental anger. This type of anger wo uld lead s omebo dy to hurtfully shame the people aro und him, like his f amil y, f rie nds and ne ighbors. He ex presses his anger by putting others down and belittl ing the ir abili ties as a perso n.
7. Overw helmed anger. This ty pe of anger is seen on p eop le that h ate the situations happe ning aro und them th at directly af fect their lives. They u sually shout or lash out at s omeone or s om ething easily. They do so because thats their way of relieving the stress and the pain they are feeling.
8. Constructive anger. T his type of anger is the type th at makes people want to go out and join gro ups and mo ve ments. And they usually do it be cause they wanted to do something to corre ct a certain si tuation. They w anted to make a positive change. And th ats the main effe ct of this type of anger.
9. Volatile Anger. This type of anger is the one that easily c om es and goes. The magn itude of this anger varies too. It could build i nto a r age, or it co uld be a mil d, s udden anger. It could e xplo de ab ruptl y, or it could go u nseen. It all depe nds on the person co nt roll ing the anger. Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
This type is ex pre ssed either by ve rbal or physical assault. http://pradeepaggarwal.com/catalogue.pdf 10. Retali atory anger. This type of anger is the mo st co mm on one. Usually people get angry be cause other people are ang ry at them. This anger depe nds mainly on the other pe rson. If your anger is due to a p erson lashing o ut at yo u, then you are guilty of this type of anger.
11. P aran oid Anger. This anger arises if a p erson feel s, in an irrational wa y, that they are i nt imidated by others. Peo ple with this t ype of anger f eel and think th at other people wa nted to take wh at is rig htfully theirs. They are angry t oward th at person because, for o ne, they are jealous.
12. Del iber ate Anger. This type of anger is shown by people w ho would like to gain control o ver a situation. They are mos tly not angry at fir st. But they will be once you have shown th at you are against what they have planned and what they wo uld like to happen. They use anger to gain pow er over somebody or s om ething. These are the most c ommon types of anger. Dete rmine wh at t ype yo ur anger is. Then harness it accord ingly.
When Anger Leads to A buse

Wh en Anger Leads to Ab use Anger, altho ugh c ommo nly felt and expresse d, is never an emotion to take l ightly. When it re aches he ig htened inte nsit y, anger becomes wrath. And wrat h, as mo st of us are aware of, is one of the 7 Deadlie st Sins.
In the previous chapter we d iscussed the various types of anger. Now l ets take a look at so me of the causes and results.
C auses of Anger A com mon c ause for anger is the prevention or inc ompletion of atta ining o ur goals and desires. And since hum ans certainly have numerous and diffe rent goals and desire s, anger can easily eru pt at any place and time. Its very c ommon for people to f eel f rustrated and angry at the same time bec ause both emotions are the results of the ir i nab ility to achi eve the ir obje ctive s. Another cause for anger is feeling inade qu ate and dis respected; hum ans norm ally feel furious when they believe that they are not be ing treated e quall y, fairly and justly.
Fact ors th at Affect Anger Fa tigue When were extremely tire d, our minds and bodies s low d own and this s omet imes m akes us una ble to cope with problems that we used to have no di fficulties solving. Exhaustion m akes us lo se our patience and temper more than usual.
Alcohol and Drugs Its a well-known fa ct th at alcohol and d rugs can have so me very disastrous effects on how our minds wo rk. And one of such effe ct is controlling o ur t empers. Intoxication and the influence of drugs can cause us to beco me easily provoked and l iable to have viole nt re actions to the smallest of th ings.
Pain Anger is a c ommon and unders tandable effe ct of ex treme pain. Be cause o ur mind and body are almost f ully involved in finding ways to help ourselves co pe with the pai n, we end up lacking the ability to sufficien tly co ntrol our t em per. Effects of Anger Depression Anger is often fol lowed by dep re ssion. When we feel p ar ticular ly irate, we tend to ex press ourselves very passio nately. A fterwards, when we reco gnize such out bur st as abno rmal, we end up feel ing depressed and unable to cope with the reality of wh at we h ave just done. De pre ssion is a lso an other emotion c ommonly pro duced by Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
blocked goals and desires.
Loss or Re duced Ability to C omprehend Logic Anger a lso often makes us re ason able. It makes us bl ind to the truth and unable to accept whats se nsible and corre ct. When anger is the primary emotion be ing felt, we beco me less able to think and act rationally and in s ome case s, even o ur senses do not w ork properly be cause of extreme anger.
Increased Physical Stre ngth and Co urage So meti me s, the effects of anger can be posit ive. When we are threatene d, we may feel int imidated or angered. Anger gives us the po wer to defend ourse lves against stronger elements and even win occasionally. La stly, anger gives us the a bility to confro nt our w orst fears.
V iolence Sigm und Fre ud once declared that indiv iduals may have a natur al urge to beco me angry and viole nt when the ir goals are blocked. Altho ugh leading psychologists had f ormerly disproved this theor y, recent studies have shown th at people in gener al do have specific genes that contr ibute to the l ikelihood of viole nce occur ring when anger is present.
Tips on M anaging A nger Be F org iving Anger is gen erally a destructive behavior. When s om ething causes us to f eel angr y, we sho uld just re mind ourselves that anger will achieve NOT HING. Forg iveness ho wever will g ive us peace of m ind and content me nt.
Thats Life So metimes, we have very justifiable reasons for feel ing angry. Nevertheless, the validity of our emotions doe snt prov ide us a solution. In these c ases, its be st to simply tell ourselves thats life and move on. Theres truly nothing m ore to do b ut that. Dwel ling on the bad stuff and le tting our anger take cont rol of o ur lives is sim ply a waste of t ime. Find an Acceptable Outlet Its he al thy for us to e xpress our emotions and that goes for anger as well. Ho weve r, we must express it in acceptable, non-viole nt and pro ductive m eans. Since anger ge nerally increases our strength and ene rgy, why not use it to tackle im portant goals in o ur lives?
Know Yo ur Limits If you alre ady know th at youre easily angere d, co nstantly rem ind yo urself that theres a lways a possi bility your anger w ill push you to c ommit a cts of viole nce. Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
h t t p : / / p ra d e e p a g gar w a l . c o m / c a t al o g u e .p d f It is quite norm al for us to feel anger at certain t imes in our lives. Permanently suppressing a nger wi ll, in fact, sim ply cause us to a ct abnorm ally. Whats not normal is when o ur anger se ems to have no bo unds and e xpr ess ing it te nds to have very viole nt conse quences. When this happens, its imper at ive that you seek h elp i mm edi at ely. Leaving it unchecked may pro ve to be fat al not only to yourself but to your loved ones as well.
C ommit to Cha nge and Manage An ger

If you are angry and you know it, raise your hand
Anger is not all bad; it is how one e xpresses it th at spells the diff erence. M anaging anger is impor tant especially if o ne has the tende ncy to lo se control o ver situ atio ns big or small.
The follo wing are basic tips and advice to help you be comfor table with your anger, and b eing a ble to e xpress it in a manner that is not hurtful to wards others or yourself.
Know w hat you are angry at
Fir st th ings first, how wo uld you get to m anage the anger th at seems to broil deep down inside you when you h ave no cle ar idea as to the situations, m atters th at tr igger them in the fir st plac e?
It is im por tant there fore th at you identify any a tti tudes that you have which pred ispose you to a ho st of r eactio ns.
Do you not like it when the waiter takes abo ut ten minute s to Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
g ive you your re gul ar order? Or wh at would yo ur rea ction be if th e cashier in your local 7- 11 store punches the wrong keys and you end up sho rt ch anged.
Do you ve nt? Do you rave? Do you f eel you want to punch s omeone or at least scre am at their face?
For tunately or unfort una tely, you are not alone. If it is these tr iggers that set you off, then you have at lea st made th at s igni fica nt fir st step of be com ing aware of yo ur feel ings and your reactions. Knowing and having ide ntified wh at makes you angry make it a lot easier to de al wi th when they e ru pt. You also could get to see how
your pa st reactions were in order to gauge or determine how your current reaction would be, now th at you know a bit better.
Pa st is past, let them go
Most of us carry a litany of conditioned respo nses and go thro ugh life using those to deal with eve ry blow th at comes our way. Usuall y, these re sponses were those left over from chi ldhood.
Re member when you were crying and a grown-up caregiver your p are nt s, aunts or rel atives told you it is bad to be an gry? And so you ke pt it all inside you until you gr ew up. As an adult, this then gets manifested as de nial and f ear of truly expressing what you feel.
Being aware of such past conditioned be havior actually frees you from its clu tches. By br inging the f eelings to the fore of your atte ntio n, you then get to deal with them and even tually use them to not be as impedi ments to your perso nal g ro wth.
Anger needs to be a ckno wledged as it is there. Anger that is suppressed is not hea lthy and if it is not appropri ately de alt with co uld l ead to it exploding unnecessarily l ater on.
Respond not react
Believe it or no t, you and you alone have the ultimate choice on how to respond to a situation.
There are v arious w ays to e xpress yo ur anger besides the mo re tra ditional w ays such as th rowing a tantrum, thro wing a cha ir, or hailing inve ctive s. Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
These non- tra ditional w ays of expressing anger are a lso le gi timate, as long as the pathway towards e xpressing ones e motions is cleared.
Respond ing to our own feel ings to wards an anger-provok ing si tuation h elps expose built-in and b uried e motions that you m ay have co ncealed from yourself. Observe how self- anger could lead to feeling depressed or anxious.
The sol ution to this is m anaging our own reaction to situa tions, not burying it with alco hol, d rugs or any addiction provo king ha bit.
Forgive and try to forge t, if you can t, then just forgive for now
It is not e asy to forget a deed that m ay have caused a lot of anger ins ide you. If th ere are any wo unds from an emotionally charged rel atio nship or i nte ra ction th at you are still car rying and heavily we ighing you dow n, then why are you still carrying it?
There is a natur al reaction to mope. Usually, go ing thro ugh this Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
stage h elps in ultim ately letting go of the resent me nt do. Forgiving othe rs usually starts from f orgiving the self. Try this one for a change.
All in all, anger is a diff ic ult emotion to deal with especially if you are exe rting the effort to not de al with it. Acknowledging you are angry and fin ding posit ive w ays to deal with your feel ings are the ste ps to letting it go.
Ea rly Warni ng Sig ns and Your Trig gers

Know when you are about to get angry Contrary to popular belief, anger is normal, natural and healthy be cause it is a human emotion.
Anger actually is a good sign to help people know that there is s om ething th at should be resolved or corre cted somewhere, somehow. Anger is usually motivated by s om ething th at was bro ught about by an a ction that is quite uncomf ortable and it b eing unco mfor table mea ns th at it is suc h, for a reaso n.
Anger, if properly m anaged, can h elp right a possible wrong. It co uld a lso h elp s olve a p arti cul ar pro blem and even find a pro bable sol ution. Howeve r, anger is also a do uble-e dged sword wherein if used in a negative m anner - could also be a force eno ugh to de stroy people, relatio nships or even yo ur own health.
Usuall y, there are wa rning s igns prior to anger exploding o n an uncontrol lable le vel. It is best th at you are aware of these triggers as it co uld help you prepare on how to respond or how to be in com mand of this very powerful emotio n.
Recogn izing these si gns early on could help you avoid f eeling regret later be cause of an incide nt th at got o ut of control or t hose words that you w ished you never said b ut are now just too late to ta ke back.
How te nse are you Usual s igns of pre-explosive anger are te nse m uscles. Ob serv e how and wh at you feel in your neck Are the m uscles in your neck taut? If so, pre pare to re lax and get hold of yo urself. Inhaling and exhaling slo wly he lps relax all those tensions. Teeth gritting is grit ty
Usually when gr itting your teeth ha ppens, the jaws bec ome tight. How m uch do you do this? If usu ally and alw ays, pre pa re to psyche you rself to relax. Anger cannot be que nched by more anger. Slowly b ut surely, try to acknowledge the feeling un til you think you co uld let it go witho ut m uch fanfare or unnece ssary drama.
When angr y, the face becomes flushed
This is easily percepti ble as the blood cir cul ates more than norm al, bro ught about by the i ntense emotion due to anger. If this
happens, the be st way to deal with this si tuation is to r elax and keep Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
your cool. Im agine how m uch ene rgy you could save by respo nding in a non- tra ditional m anner. Put your effort to w here yo ur power should be use it instead to be pro ductive.
When angr y, h ands are cle nched
See how in the movie s, men w ho are abo ut to p unch some one fir st cle nch their fists and then del iver th at blow? T his emotional process also wo rks the same way in real life. When anger comes to the forefro nt of vulnera ble emotion, the whole body actually becomes tight. And it is the hand that is u sually the more o bvio us e xpression of it.
When angr y, the voice becomes loud
Inte ntionally or not, this raising of the v oice is o ne of the m ore c ommon and tradit ional w ays to know one is angry. The o pposite of this is cold stony si lence. B oth are m eant to int imidate. All a re unhealthy, both f or the one raising the voice and the one giving the silence, as well as the recipients.
The be st thing about these triggers is th at they are all, bel ieve it or not, controllable. It depe nds on how m uch you wa nt to be controlled by the triggers. When you are re ally angr y, calm yo urself down. But if you have crossed the threshold and it is a bit too l ate to turn back, deep breathing wo uld h elp you a lot. This r elaxes your body. R emem ber how children are advised to count to ten when angry, this method actually w orks. work, try co unting to twe nty. But if cou nt ing to te n does not
Tal king to yourself also helps. T ry to tell yo urself to be cal m, t hink, do not lose it, wh at are the co nseque nces of my actions?
These po sitive talks can help take the f ocus from the angeri nducing event and on the questions th at re ally m atter. It also has th e tende ncy to make you less angry.
All in all, anger o nly gets to you when you let it. So do not let it. It is yo ur choice a fter all.
Ta king Time Out

Take t ime out to r elax and unw ind from anger
It is im portant to kn ow th at anger is not an en emy. Anger is not an emotion that needs to be repressed. Fir st a nd for emost, it is a valid feeling th at ne eds to be ackno wledged and accepted for wh at it is.
Adults and children are both pro ne to bouts of anger because it is a na tur al feeling th at e veryone has. What is nece ssary tho ugh is the manageme nt of anger be cause when it gets o ut of co ntrol it has the te nde ncy to h ave negative effects on peo ple as well as on ones self.
The fol lowing are acti vities th at could be done in order to do away with persi stent feel ings of anger and repl ace th em with more pro ductive o ut lets to e xpress this emot ion in a m anner that is more appropri ate and less des tructive.
Wash it all off
Everyo ne, be it kids or adult s, would f ind the effe ct of taking a warm bath soothing to the senses. T his method is even good for all females as well as m ales who have had a ro ugh day at wo rk and would want to un- wind from a busy, he cti c, not to mentio n, an a ngry day from co-w orker s, bosses and the like.
All you have to do is lie down in water th at is a bit warm. It would a lso be a good idea to light a f ew candle s, the kind that are scented. Then watch as you sli p slo wly aw ay to a relaxing world that is away from all the hustle and bustle of a dreary and busy world.
Walk and walk and walk
Kids or adults could very easily do this to help ward off a ny intense feel ings of anger. The good thing about this method is th at it usually works. Try it on for size. As m uch as possible, fifteen to twenty minu tes a day of brisk w alking would do the trick of dissolving and r eleasing any edginess you feel or any anxio usness you may ha ve.
Another good thing when o ne e ngages in wal king is the effe ct it br ings to ones physical he alth. Believe it or not, walk ing helps
impro ve ci rculation by releasing ho rmones called endo rphins. These are also called the feel- good hormones. Realize how walking
even in sho rt distances co uld h elp you feel more refre shed and r elaxed after.
Get a m assage, and get a good one
Adults would benefit m uch from this activity as their w eary bo dies seem more vu lnerable to stresses and neg ativity. C ontrary to popul ar belief, this does not h ave to be expensive. Try to get the vo luntary services of your signi ficant other. Ho weve r, if this is unavailable, th ere are always a slew of mas sage par lors aro und w ho would more than readily pro vide you wi th a very good and so othing mas sage at yo ur own li king.
Determine the cause
Anger is caused by a var iety of reaso ns. The best way to m anage anger is by fir st determining wh at it is you are ang ry at. G etting to know the triggers th at set you off helps you ei ther avoid those tr iggers or m anage yo ur feel ings tow ar ds those trig gers in case your anger starts to eru pt. Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
Being aware of what se ts you off is a signif ica nt step toward making your feel ings known to you rself there by making it easier to m anage any ab rupt changes in your emotions.
Goin g, going go ne - Let it go
Anger is not nece ssarily h elped by r emem bering any pa st incidents th at made you ang ry and may still have bit ter feeli ngs tow ards. Tho ugh difficu lt, it is alw ays for your own be st interests to let go of past sad and angry memories.
Unfor tuna tel y, this effort is easier said than done as eve ryone carries a b unch of conditioned re sponses and go thro ugh life using those to de al with every blow th at com es their way. Usuall y, the se respo nses were those l eft off from childhood and o nwards.
Believe it or not, having aware ness of such pa st conditioned be havior a ctually frees you from its clutches. By br inging them to the fore of yo ur attentio n, you then get to deal with them and eve ntually use them to not be as impedi ments to your personal gro wth.
All in all, anger - w hen left to fe ster and rot in ones psyche will c ause more ha rm than good. It would do well for everyo ne to deal with the causes of anger and work on tho se issues as well as hav ing efforts to de al with anger bef ore, du ring and after it erupts.
Relaxation to Counteract Anger

Relax yo ur way thru anger
What are the th ings you co uld do to help do away with ge ner ally negative angry feel ings? First things fir st, anger is a c ompletely natural emotion. Wh at is unnatur al tho ugh are the w ays and me ans they can be ma nifested.
Usually, anger is e xpressed by ven ting out, thro wing a tantrum or is laid out in cold and stony silence.
Too m uch anger is also dangerous as it g ives the bo dy unneces sary stress and keeps the n erves, the heart and the brain
pump ing too m uch blood.
So how sho uld one take a b reak from stress-related anger? Anger is c aused by a host of situations, b ut prim arily how one chooses to re spond to anger is the be st way to counteract its ne gative effects.
What you e at, is wh at you are
Anger is not further helped by eating f oo ds that contain a lot of fat. A diet that is well-ba lanced and contains more fr uits and ve geta bles than pork or beef ac tually helps in flushing o ut all those unneces sary toxins in the body.
These toxins could just as well co nt ribute to emotions being unba lanced and so metimes o verly anxious. T he body processes anyth ing and e veryth ing th at it takes in.
It has also been said th at the way an anim al has been s laugh tered has an effe ct on those who co nsume the said anim al. E at ing a diet that is rich in green and leafy vegetables helps cle anse the bo dy from any impurities. It a lso helps cle ar the p athway t owards a healthier o utlook towards life and eventually any situations th at Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
c ome your way.
The way to r ela x, lessen ca ffeine
Believe it or no t, it is not only coff ee th at co ntains nervewracking caff eine. Sodas, soft dr inks and even chocolate contain ca ffeine. All these dr inks have what it takes to make you j ittery and would not be of m uch help if you need or wa nt to re lax.
If anger-related str ess gets the be st of you, run a wa rm bath
This is one of the m ost effective w ays to de-stress and relax. This m ethod is good for all f emales as well as males who have had a ro ugh day at work and would want to un- wind from a busy, hecti c, not to mention, an angry day from co- worker s, bosses and the like.
Just lie down on the warm w ater, p ut on music even a few scented cand les and slip away to a r elaxing mo me nt with yourself away from the hustle and bustle of a busy and dreary w orld.
Again, get yo urself a good m assage as we d iscussed previously.
Of course you cannot really give yo ur self a good m assag e, but you co uld get yo urself one. Try to get the services of yo ur s ignifica nt other who co uld be more than willing to give you a good massage for free. If no t, then there are m ass age p ar lors o ut there th at can provide a gre at ten minute or fifteen m in ute m assage on various stress areas of your body such as the shoulder s, neck, scalp even on the face.
V isualize your self away from anger
This is supposed to be easy. If you are just open to the possi bilities of visuali zing anger awa y, th at is. All you have to do is close both of yo ur eyes. The n, try to create that little place in your own mind w herein you could go th ere to r elax and slow your a ctivities a bit down. It all depe nds on how you define relax ation. It co uld be a place that is real or not. The im por tant t hing is that it i s truly and specially yours.
All in all, anger is only bad when you let it affe ct you. The be st way to co unteract it is by le arning to keep yo ur cool, r elax. After all, it is you who decide how and if you are going to let a situation get to you. The important thing is you know h ow to re spond positively to any given situatio n. Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
One T hing at a T ime

One sm all step for ma n, a gia nt leap for anger management
Gre at th ings cannot be hurried. They need to go thro ugh a process. Th ink of the bea utiful s tructures that the Ro man empire used to have or tho se ama zing natural wonders th at is Ni agar a, Colo rado, or the Grand C anyon.
The same process also follows human emotio ns, specifically anger. Dealing with them until they are ripe eno ugh to let go, forgive and forget is not easy b ut is enti rely possible.
What are the th ings you co uld do to help do away with ge ner ally negative an gry f eelings?
Think anger aw ay
This is supposed to be easy b ut it is not. You have to be o pen to the possibilities of visuali zing anger away. All you have to do is close both of your eyes. The n, try to cre ate th at l ittle place in your own mind wherein you c ould go there to relax and slow your acti vities a bit Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
down. It all depe nds on how you define r elax ation. It could be a plac e th at is real or not. The importa nt thing is th at it is t ruly and specially yours.
What is it th at you are angry at?
How would you get to m anage the anger that se ems to broil deep down inside you when you have no clear idea as to the si tuatio ns, matters th at tr igger them in the fir st pl ace?
All in all, anger is both a boon and a bane. It is good to feel anger as it could also serve as a wa rning and a s ignal to let you know s om eth ing m ust be resolved or fixed. But if inappropri ate ly e xpressed, it could a lso hurt.
Try to keep cool, re lax. In the long te rm, it is you w ho decide how and if you are going to let a si tuat ion get to you.
Substance Abuse, Depression and Anger

Why subs tance abuse le ads to de pre ssion and anger
Subs tance abuse has been respo nsi ble for the destruction of millions of lives all over the world. It has destroyed careers, reputations, live s, f amilies and even the soc iety itself. Up t o the present t ime, subs tance abuse is st ill the number o ne destructive force in soci ety.
People usually rel ate substance abuse with the use of prohibited drugs like mari juana and cocaine. As man be came more so phi sticate d, his tende ncy to bec ome a s lave to subs tances has also beco me more complex. People have outgr own mari juana and have reso rted to other subs tances like Ecstasy, alcohol and other subs tances that money can find in the urban world.
The number of people beco ming victims to subst ance abuse has gr own by millions. Such addiction has beco me so wide spread it has m anaged to seep into every nook and cr anny of life and no longer exclusive to a cer tain ca ste or level of society. Subs tance abuse has beco me a com mon occurrence a mong the rich and the poor, the Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
educated and the igno ra nt, the decent and the b arbaric p eo ple of the world.
Amo ng the sector particularly susceptible to subs tance abuse are the youth. Yo ung people w ho have not yet matured eno ugh to beco me respo nsi ble m em bers of soci ety are b eing cor rupted by subs tance abuse. They are being de str oyed even before they have
fo und the ir pl ace in the world and this is be cause they are easily sw ayed i nto prov ing th ems elves to t heir frie nds.
But this is not to say th at the matured sector of soci ety is ex em pted from the ma lady called subs tance abuse. Even so-called dece nt people who have good reput ations and w ho have made names for th ems elves have beco me enslaved by this abuse. T hese p eople belie ve they are d oing this for fun or for simple ple asure not kno wing that they are alre ady de stroying their ca reers, their lives and their families.
Subs tance abuse is a me nace to so ciety be cause it does not only ruin the person who is pro ne to abusing substances. T his ma lady h as also ruined r elatio nsh ips and the li ves of cou ntle ss people who have Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
made conta ct with the abuser. Subs tance abuse is, in fa ct, dest roying the very core of the family unit.
One does not immedia tely see the effects of subs tance abuse especially a mong f amily m embers b ut when the s igns have bec ome so r ema rka ble the family membe rs can no longer do anything to keep their loved one from self des truction.
A person who is abusing any subs tance is prone to anger be cause he can no longer co ntrol his vi ce. This anger will reverber ate to the closest frie nds, his loved ones and ultim ately to the society in which he is a member. A person who has been abusing subs tance for quite so metime w ill ultim ately experie nce bouts of dep ression and self pity until he can no longer control his emotio ns.
Se eing a p erso n, especially a f amily member or a close friend going i nto self des truction is not an easy thing. T he anger that boils i nside the abuser will ultim at ely co nsume everyo ne in his circ le.
There will co me a t ime when anger and de pre ssion be come so intense th at the abuser will th ink th at everyo ne is aga inst him. So me Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
abusers resort to violent me ans in getting w hat they wa nt. S ome abusers can no lo nger be ar the anger and the loneliness and they go so far as to c ommit suicide.
Subs tance abusers need very suppor tive family and f rie nds to keep them on track. Ho weve r, s ome f amily m embers w ill reach a poi nt in their lives when they can no longer de al with the a buser. It re ally is a he avy emotional burden for everyone conce rned.
But there is still ho pe to s ave the life of a subs tance abuser. Those concerned should i mmedia tely discuss the prob lem with an expert so they would know what to do and what to e xpe ct fr om the abuser. This way they will not be leading the abuser into feeling more angry and depressed abo ut his situation.
Subs tance abuse star ts from a single drop of alcohol or a ta ste of any abusive substance. Abusing any substan ce can lead to a tem porary h igh b ut it will ul timately lead to self des truction and a li fetime of hell. It is better to resi st anyt hing th at is even remotely related to subs tance abuse rather than regret a single incident l ater on. Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
It is never e asy to help a subs tance abuser nor is it e asy for a subs tance abuser to help himself. The re will alw ays be sacrifices, trade offs and even regrets. Howeve r, nothing is impossible if the abuser and his family are d etermined to get him back from the clutches of addiction.
Catastrophic Stress = Catastrophic Anger

Can catastrophic s tress lead to catastrophic anger?
Li sten to people w hen they tell you not to m ake a de cision when you are angry or st ressed o ut be cause you may regret such a decision la ter on. The art of li stening to such adv ice can turn out favo rable to you in the long te rm especially if the decisions you will be making are very im por tant to y our life or to the peo ple you care about.
An angry p erson can do any thing illogically when he is in the middle of his anger. So me people who are normally serene can Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
beco me e xtrem ely violent in the m iddle of an angry o utburst. Howe ver, most of them regret w hat they have done later on when their anger h as alre ady cooled off. Therefore, it is important to be
able to co ntrol your emotio ns when under pre ssure.
A person w ho is under catastrophic s tress can bec ome too angry to g ive c areful and logical tho ught about his actions. Notice how stressed peo ple can pro duce illogical decisions be cause of catastrophic anger even when faced with a minor problem. Thi s is be cause a person w ho is stressed o ut forgets all the dece nt training he has undergo ne and sudde nly reverts to a primitive state.
A pr imitive m an does not bother with the conseque nces of his a ctions or decisions for as long as he can ve nt his anger to wards another person or thing. T he same happens to a person who is under cata strophic stress. This person bec omes so angry that he all ows his emotions to rule his mind and in tellect.
Regular expo sure to stressful s ituations can h ave serious repe rcussions on the he alth of a person, both physically and mentally. Too m uch pre ss ure can lead a person to dep ression and emotional imba lance. S ome people w ho are regularly e xposed to stressful Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
si tuatio ns try to surv ive by reso rt ing to unhealthy sol utions like smo king and d rinking.
Stress can definit ely p ut a person in the hot se at but it is re ally up to th at person if he all ows himself to become a slave to the effects of stress. While st ressful situations can be very di fficult to control, there are w ays to avoid stressf ul situ ations. Moreover, a person can de vise a way to avoid the ne gative effects of stress upon him.
The first move to take is to le arn from indiv idual expe riences and
take n ote of the cir cums tances that causes stress. A person wh o acknowle dges that som eth ing or som eone has a stre ssful ef fect on him can try to avoid meting such person or avoid th at situation. I f the
cause of stress cannot be av oided then a p erson can try to change his rea ction to the stressf ul factor. For ins tance, if m eeting a certain
person causes him to rea ct negatively then he should try to think of other th ings th at would make the situa tion l ighter or easier on him.
This is called st ress m anagement, the art of be ing a ble to c ontrol the fac tors th at are causing stressful e vents or o ccurrences.
http://pradeepaggarwal.com/catalogue.pdf Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
Some causes of stress include routine home activities l ike taking care of the chil dren or w orking. The p ressure bro ug ht abo ut by these fa ctors is natur al but when the pre ssure gets too hot to handle then you m ig ht find s ome ways to keep the he at off l ike tak ing a walk by yo urself, bikin g, exercising or li ste ning to smoothing m usic.
You will find additional w ays to de al with stress in other cha pters in this guide.
The fact that a person who alre ady fe els the pre ssure me ans every thing has beco me too m uch for him to handle. To remedy thi s,
Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 take one thing at a time. Make sure th at you dont hurry or force yo urself to do th ings. So meti me s, taking the t ime to enjoy wh at you are d oing can take the pre ssu re off.
Stress is actually g ood bec ause it makes a person aw are th at he is rushing in, do ing too m uch and not taking time to smell the roses.
Learning Assertiveness Skills

How to learn asse rtiveness skills
Being asse rt ive has often been d efined as b eing self assured and confident. Most often b eing assertive has been ide ntified with b eing strong and in control. Be ing as sertive me ans being able to express how you feel and at the same time being in control of those feel ings.
A person who asser ts his rights refers to som eo ne who is so confide nt he is on the right t rack that he will do a nything a nd every thing to make sure such right is protected. The characteristic of be ing assertive can be used to control a perso ns emotio ns especially his anger.
Anger is a natural emotion but know ing how to ex press the anger th at a person feels takes a lot of practice. An angry person will
usually react in an aggressive m anner wh ich me ans being combative with the obje ct of his anger. Exp ressing anger in this m anner w ill o nly pro duce a negative effe ct not only to the o bje ct of the anger but m ore im por tantly to the person who is ex press ing his anger. Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
There is a huge difference b etw een be ing assertive and be ing aggressive.
A person who has tried expressing his anger in an a ggre ssive m anner w ill tell you how dra ining it is aft erwards. Expressing anger can be tiring physically and e motiona lly and it can lead to emotio nal bre akdown. Ho we ver, a p erson w ho has mastered the art of express ing his anger can be a winner in more w ays than one.
Of course, it w ill alw ays be di fficult to think straig ht when one is angry. But this is the trick and the art of ma ster ing your emotions. Man should never all ow him self to be a vic tim of his e motions and his primitive desires. It m ay t empor arily feel good to lash out at someone in anger b ut know ing the conse quences can help a person control his rage.
An angry person can choose to exp ress his a nger and suffer the
emotional and physical payoff l ater on. He can choose to ke ep his anger to himself and risk the possi bility of getting he art problems. The best way to exp ress anger is to m anage your emotions and l earning Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
how to co mm unic ate wh at you feel to the other person without getting into a t irade.
Being asse rt ive in e xpressing anger me ans being able to tell the o bje ct of yo ur anger wh at you wa nt and wh at the other party can do to achieve what you wa nt. C ommunicating th ings clearly is a lways be tter than get ting into a tirade and hurting others and yourself too.
Most often people get angry be cause they do not like the way t hings are b eing done. Sometim es, they do not like the way they are be ing t reated by another. To make sure you h ave a sol ution for your ange r, you have to c omm unic ate your needs to the other pe rson by be ing assertive. Perh aps, the other person is not aware of your needs or is not aw are that he is alre ady ri ling you. You have nothing to lose by being asse rt ive and e xplaining what you wa nt and yo ur poi nt of view.
Develo ping assertiv eness skills w ill take time b ut the more you practice being assertive the nearer you will be to yo ur goal.
Posses sing asser tiveness skills me ans be ing in control of your emotions and be ing able to e xpress such emotions in a calm manner. Being cl am will ensure th at you are able to get yo ur feelings across Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
witho ut nece ssarily exhi bi ting the c ommon m anifestatio ns of anger like shouting and hit ting or thro wing things.
Like mo st life skills, asse rtiveness skills can be developed over time b ut o nce a person gets the hang of it he can alre ady make use of his assertiveness skills to e xpress his anger logically. B eing able to do this is a win- win situ ation because asse rtiveness skills will enable a person to e xpress his anger calmly and at the same time it will e na ble him to get what he wants.
If you are angry and you f eel like striking the ob ject of your anger then do s omet hing that can release yo ur anger. Try rele asing pent up e motions by go ing for a walk or using any of the ot her cop ing me chanisms we have included in this guide. One thing to rem ember is that releasing sweat can work miracles in releasing and let ting go of stress and anger.
http://pradeepaggarwal.com/catalogue.pdf
Learning Better Communication Techniques

Manage your Anger by Lea rning to C ommunicate Be tter.
For at least once in our live s, we have all fe lt anger ei ther at a person, a circumstance, or both. We all know wh at it feels like to be so c ompl etely infuri ated at so meo ne (or so mething) th at we almost reach our boil ing poi nt.
And w hile anger is considered to be a norm al if not healthy emotio n, as we have d iscusse d, it can also d angerously take over a perso ns life if it gets o ut of control and destructive, leaving him feeling as if he w as at the m ercy of a vicious, powerf ul and uncontrol lable em otion.
Thankfully there are ways to preve nt or m anage such extre me levels of a nger. And one very important step to proper an ger m anagement is learn ing better c omm unication skills.
Now, anger and co mmunic ation may seem like two e ntirely Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
diff ere nt things, but they are actually quite rel ated and the impro ve me nt of the former may be one of the be st sol utions for the control of the latter. Here are a few exp lan ations:
Better c ommunic ation all ows you to asse rt yourself.
You might think that be ing a ssertive is the same as b eing aggressive as we p reviously d iscussed. And w hile they are both possi ble w ays to e xpress and show ones anger, they are entirely diff ere nt in appro ac h, and lead to enti rely different co nseque nces.
To begin with, while be com ing a ggressive due to anger may le ad to viole nce, be it physical or emotio nal, be ing assertive allows a person to e xpress him self in a he alth ier, le ss ha rmful app roach, leading one to share the root and possi ble c auses of his anger by c ommunica ting it appropri ately. As suc h, while being aggress ive leads to mo re pro bl ems and even more damage, the conse quences of beco ming assert ive are far less harmful, and may even be co nstruct ive and helpful.
Constant and open c omm unication keeps you from bo ttling up your hidden e motions and more importa ntly, your hidden ange r, for Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
th at m atter.
People can be l ike volc anoes they lay dorma nt for years and ye ar s, on the s urface see mingly at peace, but underneath they are actually boil ing with ange r, re ady to eru pt at any moment. To avoid such destructive eruptio ns, th at is, to keep ones anger at ba y, it is im por tant for a pe rson to be able to regularly ve nt f rustra tions in a healthy and m anageable way.
And the mo st practical approach to this is by sharing and rela ting them to other people. You may talk to your f rie nds, your s igni fica nt othe r, or a psy chi atrist. In any case, v erbally e xpressing
the potential so urces of anger is an effe ct ive s olution to keep a p erson from those e ru ptions of anger.
Better c ommunic ation skills lead to b etter li ste ning skills.
C ommunic ation doe snt alw ays have to mean be ing able to talk about o nes feel ings openly it a lso me ans b eing able to listen i ntently to othe rs. And listening is of gre at importance when trying to keep your anger at bay. Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
For ins tance, should you find yourself in a highly intense a rgu me nt with another person your uncontrolled anger may lead you to beco me extrem ely aggressive and e ven viole nt, to the point of no logic or reason. But if at fir st you had attempted to listen to the other perso ns s ide of the s tory instead of hastily and angrily defending yo ur s, you would have saved yo urself the headache and the damage bro ught about by a f ist f ig ht and a bad reputation.
Better co mm unicat ion me ans you th ink before you speak ( and a ct).
People w ho cant se em to control their anger often find
the mselves jump ing to conclusions they allow th ems elves to be taken over by their emotions and eventually f ind th emselves acting on pure inst inct, without lo gic or reason.
With better com munication skills, a person learns to find calm in a heated a rgu me nt or an e xtre mely tense situation, able to step back and think abo ut whats going on. This way, he is able to decide on a more appropriate m ethod of addressing a problem and finding a Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
sol ution. Be side s, no o ne ever got ahead by jumping to conclusions.
There are many w ays to improve your c omm unication skills and be tter de al with anger m anagement issues. You can try s elf- help books, or see king the adv ice of a psychiatrist. Wh ate ver appro ach you choose, it is yo ur will ingness to le arn and change your w ays th at will help you resolve your issues.
Tea ching ch ildren and t eens how to control anger

Help Yo ur C hild or Teen D eal with Anger Manageme nt Issues
Hes locked himself in his bedroom and it feels like he hasnt c ome out of it in weeks. You never see him anymore, and the only sign of his presence in your h ome is the consta nt blaring of angry rock music and the loud bang ing of his bedroom door. You start to wo nder what happened to the baby boy you lovi ngly raised, only to be come a d ista nt and raging tee nager.
For other parents, it can be much worse s ometimes the a nger starts even before the ir kids beco me t ee nagers. Wh ate ver the case, the im porta nt question is how a pare nt can help his child cope with his anger.
For starters, its best to help yo ur child to m anage his anger as soon as possible. T he earlier you are able to help him de al with possi ble an ger management issue s, the better.
If You Notice His Ange r, De al With It Immediately.
As ki ds grow u p, they change in m any diff ere nt w ays. But if the changes they under go le ad to them becom ing angrier and selfdestructive, its best to pay atte ntion and immediately f ind a way to exec ute an i ntervention. If you think your child has the po tential to obtain anger m anage me nt issues, be gin preventive efforts as soon as possible.
Early Intervention is Key to an Effe ct ive Solution.
The reason why its effe ctive and therefore extre mely importa nt to help yo ur child deal with his anger m anageme nt issues as e arly as possi ble is bec ause its best to deal with the causes of his anger before it be co mes too deeply rooted in him and thereby possibly seriously affec ting his personality and self-esteem.
Dea ling with anger m anagement issues is like dea ling with an open wo und the more you expose it and al low it to get damage d, the b igger and the more harmful the wo und ge ts. If you n otice something bothering your child, enco urage him to open up and share whats worry ing him. Dont w ait until the anger is too deeply rooted in him that hes blocked you o ut e motionally, making it that m uch ha rder for Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
him to accept your help and open up. Help him o ut w hile hes still open and will ing to talk abo ut his issues.
So yo uve n oticed th at so methings wrong with your child and
youre re ady and willing to help h im deal with them. Wh at do you do n ow?
Set aside the I told you so speech for another time.
When yo ur kids have pro bl ems, whether they h ave c ome upon them beyond their control or due to a m is take the yve c ommitte d, they dont need a le ct ure from you tel ling them I told you so. T his only makes them f eel e ven m ore hu rt, confused, self-co nscious, and possibl y, more angry.
Set the critic ism no matter how co nstructive aside for a w hile, and in the m ean time, lis ten to what they have to say. All ow them to freely ve nt their e motions do ing so will let them realize that they can trust you with their feel ings, and th at they can be open and hone st with you without the risk of be ing at the receiving end of a harro wing lecture. Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
Re member th at keep ing an open and c onstant c ommunication line between you and your kid kee ps him from shutting you out and l eaving you witho ut a clue as to wh at is going on with your child.
Enco urage your child to e ngage in a ctiv ities th at will allow him to let off ste am.
You may not bel ieve it, b ut kids and te ens a lso expe rie nce stress. Wh at with the dem ands of school, a social life, as well as the physical and emotional changes th at are all part of grow ing up (half of which they almost alw ays have no clue about) b eing a kid can be just as stressf ul as b eing an adult. So its importa nt th at you prov ide yo ur chil dren with an o utlet w here they can sa fely and effe ctive ly ve nt o ut their frustr ations and let off ste am.
Enco urage your child to learn and participate in a sport, or enroll him into music le ssons. Let him try a myriad of activities until he finds one th at he likes and enjo ys. To him it may just be for fun, but youll know that his ho bby or after- school a ctivity a lso h elps him release all that stress th at mig ht otherwise be bundled up inside u ntil it erupts Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
and th at is not a pretty picture for a pare nt.
If you find you rself unable to help your child with his anger m anagement issues, dont be afraid to seek the help of pro fessionals or experts. Rem ember th at your first prio rity should always be the sa fety and well- being of your child.
S elf-Es teem and A nger

Disco ver How Self-Esteem Hel ps You De al with Yo ur Anger
Youve fo und yo urself feeling a lot of anger l ately yo uve lashed out on peo ple without meaning to, h ur ting them and dam aging yo ur relatio nsh ips with th em in the p rocess. Yo ur anger h as affected your work and yo ur social life. You are be ginn ing to f eel like its tak ing you over, and that your anger has spiraled o ut of control. Wh at do you d o?
They key to unders tanding yo ur anger is to e xplo re and discover its ca use, or its root. And one of the common c auses of anger in i ndiv iduals is a lack of self-esteem.
Self esteem and anger may seem like two enti rely differe nt and Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
unrelated co ncepts, but they can be associated with each other in the way th at they affect one an other. A lack of self e steem can lead t o h igher levels of an ger and rage. How and why, you ask? Here are s ome possi ble explan ations.
L ow self-esteem can lead you to unhappiness and depression.
When youre unhappy and depressed, you are more prone to be infuriated and angry at certain c ircumstances and at the peo ple aro und you. With low self-esteem, you are mo re likely to be d issatisfied with yo urself and your life, and when you are dissatisfied, you are more lik ely to blame yourself and others for your d iss atisfactio n, leading you to hate yo urself and to hate others. Th at hate is just a ma nifest ation of anger.
Low self-e steem is th at nagging voice in your head that eventually bec omes that angry voice in your head.
When a person has l ow self-esteem, he is ne ver happy or s atisfied with himself in fa ct, he may even see him self as un at tra ctive and unacceptable. Such neg at ive tho ughts and em otions, when they start to pile up ins ide a per son, even tually trans form into Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
angry tho ughts directed not o nly towards ones self b ut also to wards others, there by be com ing ha rmful not only to the person b ut the people aro und h im.
On the other hand, appropri ate levels of self-esteem can lead to be tter anger manage me nt. One m ain reason: self-esteem allows you
to respe ct yourself and respe ct others. When you have high selfestee m, you respect you rself, and when you respe ct yourself, you a lso respe ct others. And when you respe ct ot her s, you dont just lash out at them when you reach a disagre ement, the way you wo uld if you allo wed yo ur anger to take o ver your se nses.
So how do you inc rease yo ur self-esteem, and in the process handle you anger issues be tter? Here are so me ways to help you do so.
Enumer ate the th ings that you l ike abo ut yourself.
You can do a list on paper or just in your he ad in any case, enum erate the traits and ch ara cteristics that you like about you rself. Whene ver you find yo urself be com ing destructive and ov erly Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
critici zing, th ink of this li st and al low it to make you feel better. These t hings th at you like about you rself are your strengths - use them at ti mes when you feel weak and defeated.
Fo cus on your strengths, not on your w eakne sses.
Once yo uve fo und and ide ntified your strengths, its im porta nt
to keep them in m ind, inste ad of constantly thinking abo ut your we aknesses. When you begin to pity and dislike yo urself, start looking at your strengths and set s ide your we aknesses deal with these we aknesses an other time, when youre confident eno ugh abo ut yo urself to face your flaw s, and either acce pt them or try to change the m.
Dont dwell on f ai lure, but relish in success.
Sometim es th ings just go wron g, no m atter how hard you try to keep them from d oing so. When youve failed on so methin g, think about w here you m ight h ave gone wron g, re al ize the lessons yo uve l earned from the experience, and move on.
Dont dwell on f ai lures learn from them and get on with life. Eve ntually success will co me, and when it do es, relish it, enjoy it. But dont t ake too long d oing so enjoy your success for a while and then be re ady to t ake on lifes ne xt challenge afterwards. Success bui lds confidence, b ut lever aging on th em too m uch might lead to misguided self esteem. Ba lance is the key.
St ill having probl ems with your anger and yo ur self e st eem? Do
not be emba rrassed to seek pr ofe ssio nal help. R emember that the earlier you try to find a solution to your problem, the better. If you find that you wont be able to solve your issues alo ne, console with a friend or a p sychi atr ist theres no shame in asking of h elp and we will d iscuss this further on.
Forgiveness
Why Do I Need to Ask f or Forgiveness?
Forgive and f orget how m any times have you heard the se phrases? Most people wo uld say f orgive t hose w ho h ave hurt you and have done you wrong and just let go of the past. It is easy to say but m uch harder to do.
Forgiving is not an easy task. Le tting go of the things that have caused you pain or suffering is not at all e asy. Other people can forg ive and f orget easily but mo st have a hard time.
But no matter how hard it i s, it is importa nt to f orgive. Forg iving is he al thy and h olding grudges will only leave you suffering more. You are on the los ing side if you do not f org ive. It may do yo u m ore harm than good.
Forgiving is o ne issue, asking for f orgiveness is another differe nt aspe ct of forgive ness.
A person who is sincerely re ady to ask for forgivene ss has Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
alre ady let go of any negative pride that may have dwelled in his heart for a period of t ime. Sincerely ask ing for forgiveness no matter whose fa ult it i s, is ve ry cour ageous and admirable. Just be cause it is not your fault does not necessarily mean you sho uld not ask for forgiveness. The other person m ay not be re ady to ask for for giveness or to forgive so it your duty to take the initiative and be the o ne to ask for f orgives.
So why is it im portant to ask for forgivene ss?
Ask for f orgiveness to help you physically. Holding a grudge or anger has been proven to be unheal thy. It may cause health problems like c ancer, hype rtension and other cardio vas cul ar diseases.
Ask for f orgiveness with an eye to ward an emotio nally he althy you. Not only is forg iving good for your physical well-b eing, it is also helpf ul in keeping you s ane and away from depression. Anger causes depressio n, anxie ty and other neg at ive emotional tho ughts and feel ings.
Ask for forgiveness for peace of m ind. Being angry at somebody Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
else does not g ive you a peace of m ind and w ill alwa ys give you a feeling of uneasiness. A sking for f orgiveness to those persons you have hurt or have hurt you w ill give you a sense of liber ation and rel ief.
Ask for forgiveness for a better you. T he major benefactor of asking f or forgiveness is not the person you h ave asked forgiveness of but it is you. You ask for forgivene ss not just be cause of the other person b ut becau se you wa nt to free yourself from anger, guilt and other negative feel ings. You are not the one defeated h ere. You a re actually making yourself a w inner once you have asked for forgiveness.
Ask for f orgiveness to re new a rel atio nship. Finding peo ple to be frie nds or p ar tners with in this world is a to ugh job. It may be difficult
to find new people like the ones you h ave been angry with. N urtur ing a relatio nship is to ugh and once th at rela tionship is ruined with misunders tand ings or quarrels, it is a big waste. As king for forgiveness can re build tho se broken relatio nships.
Ask for f orgiveness to have a happier life ahead. Not forg etting Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
the bad things th at have happened in the pa st and kee ping anger in your heart aga inst tho se persons th at you have acted ne gatively on or have hurt yo u, will not m ake you a completely happy person. In order to go on f ully with life and face new challenges and e xperiences ahea d, a person must let go of past anger. One can never be fully happy and s atisfied if something keeps on bothering them like anger and guilt.
Now th at you are conv inced th at a sking for forgiveness is not only beneficial to the other p erson b ut for you as we ll, maybe you a re askin g, okay how do you do it?
Think about wh at re ally happened and r efle ct on the th ings th at have caused you and the other person pain. N ow organize your tho ughts and think of all the th ings you wa nt to say to that person and how sorry you are and how you fe lt abo ut the situation.
Swal low your pride and have the guts to sincerely ask f or forgiveness from th at person. After that g ive th at person time to r eflect and think about wh at just happened. That person may or may not be re ady to fo rgive you b ut w hats importa nt is you alre ady did your p art and th at is the fir st step in rebuilding your rel atio nship with Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
each other.
Alw ays rem ember th at f orgiving and asking f or forgiveness are t wo of the mo st im porta nt things th at we should practice as this will l ead to a happier and more peaceful life.
When to Se ek Professi onal Help

Being T oo Angry When to seek professional help
We have had m uch d iscussion abo ut anger and how it is a norm al feeling that people experience. Being angry at s om ething or s omeone is not an isolated case, all peo ple get angry.
But if your anger bec omes too fre que nt, has turned into ra ge and is al ready ne gatively affec ting m any aspects of yo ur life, then it is time to assess the situation be cause maybe yo ur anger has turned into s ome se rio us problem.
If you have tried all the m ethods shared in this guide and pe rhaps other tips to co ntrol yo ur ange r, it might be t ime to consider the help of p rofess ionals in order to turn your life aro und a nd live norm ally again. Having anger managem ent problems does not do the person and the people aro und him or her any good.
Most peo ple are hesitant to adm it to th ems elves that they have a serious anger management problem that needs to be handled by professionals. At fir st there is denial and somet imes it is hard for Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
them to accept that they have turned into a person full of r age.
The first step in hand ling anger i ssues is to assess yo urself and ob serve what kind of anger m anag ement sol ution you need to have. Most anger management issues can be dealt with yourself using proper information, self control, dete rmin atio n, and the help of f amily and frie nds. If your anger has beco me too m uch to handle, then it is
time to seek p rofe ssional help.
But wh at if you arent sure if you need the interve ntion of professionals or not ?
Here are some questions to help you assess your situation: Do you often have i nte nse a rgum ents b etw een you and
your loved ones or frie nds? Do you e asily lose control of yo urself? Do past anger and m isund erstandi ngs with other people
still hau nt you up to now? Do you get angry and f rustrated when w aiting in line? Do you get annoyed and call people dumb or s tupid
when they dont do t hings rig ht, are alw ays clumsy, inc om pete nt, or Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
prone to er rors? Do you get angry at yo urself whenever you do s omething
bad or when you lo se co ntrol? Do you find it hard to f orgive people w ho have hurt you? Do you find yourself at nig ht lying on your bed just
t hinking abo ut the th ings th at have upset or caused you pa in during the d ay? Do you get so angry to the poi nt th at you have forgotten
the details of w hat had happened like the things you said or have been said to yo u? Do you get frustrated a lot? Do you get depressed when th ings dont go the way you
p lanned or e xpe cted? Do you get ma d, upse t, or frustrated to the p oint that you
experience he adaches, sto machac he or beco me we ak? Do you use alco hol or d rugs when you are angry? Do peo ple have a te nde ncy to stay away from you or get
sc ared whenever you are angry? Do you say things when you are in a bad t em per than you
later regret s aying? Do you have problems in the wo rkplace be cause of your
anger? Do yo ur f amily and frie nds think th at you have serious
anger m anagement i ssues? Are your f amil y, social life and other aspects of your l ife
negatively affe cted due to your r age? Do you often get into trouble be cause of yo ur bad t emper
that so metimes it le ads to legal pro bl ems? Do you h ave f eel ings of revenge to those people w ho have
done you wrong?
Do you hit peo ple or bre ak th ings within yo ur re ach
whene ver you are angry? Do you have tho ughts of kil ling somebody you have
beco me so angry with? Do you have tho ughts of killing your sel f?
If you answ ered yes to mo st of these questions, then it is t ime to seek professional help. Being angry is norm al, but being too angry too frequently to the poi nt that it is ruining yo ur life is not at all norm al.
If you think th at you need hel p, th ere are many anger Institute of M ind Control & Deve lop ment, Sai Homes A pts, Flat No: 503, 6-1-68/1, Saifabad, La kdika pul, Hyd erabad 500 004, IND IA Tel No: 040 66620294/5 ww w.prad eepaggar wal.co m, ww w. gol fm indco aching.com E- ma il: i mc d999@g mail.c om
m anageme nt co aches or co unselors that help people with anger m anagement pro bl ems. You can ask your doctor or research your local c omm unity to find reputable professionals that can help you.
Du ring anger m anag eme nt counsel ing, p atients are taught how to control their t emper and handle s itu ations w herein they are abo ut to lo se contr ol.
Anger manage ment co unseling is not som eth ing to be ashamed of. Ev erybody goes thro ugh so me di fficult time in the ir lives. Whats im por tant is you recognized the problem and are now go ing to do s om eth ing abo ut it. http:// pradee paggarw al.com/cat alo gue.pdf
Live happy and be well!
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Anger Management

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The 3 Minute Anger Guide

How to Rec ognize Anger and Ha ndle it effectively

When Anger Leads to A buse

blocked goals and desires.

C ommit to Cha nge and Manage An ger

Know w hat you are angry at

Pa st is past, let them go

Respond not react

Ea rly Warni ng Sig ns and Your Trig gers

When angr y, the face becomes flushed

When angr y, h ands are cle nched

When angr y, the voice becomes loud

Ta king Time Out

Wash it all off

Walk and walk and walk

Get a m assage, and get a good one

Determine the cause

Goin g, going go ne - Let it go

Relaxation to Counteract Anger

pump ing too m uch blood.

What you e at, is wh at you are

c ome your way.

The way to r ela x, lessen ca ffeine

If anger-related str ess gets the be st of you, run a wa rm bath

Again, get yo urself a good m assage as we d iscussed previously.

V isualize your self away from anger

One T hing at a T ime

What is it th at you are angry at?

Substance Abuse, Depression and Anger

Catastrophic Stress = Catastrophic Anger

able to co ntrol your emotio ns when under pre ssure.

Learning Assertiveness Skills

Learning Better Communication Techniques

Better c ommunic ation all ows you to asse rt yourself.

Better c ommunic ation skills lead to b etter li ste ning skills.

People w ho cant se em to control their anger often find

sol ution. Be side s, no o ne ever got ahead by jumping to conclusions.

Tea ching ch ildren and t eens how to control anger

If You Notice His Ange r, De al With It Immediately.

Early Intervention is Key to an Effe ct ive Solution.

So yo uve n oticed th at so methings wrong with your child and

Set aside the I told you so speech for another time.

and th at is not a pretty picture for a pare nt.

S elf-Es teem and A nger

L ow self-esteem can lead you to unhappiness and depression.

Enumer ate the th ings that you l ike abo ut yourself.

Fo cus on your strengths, not on your w eakne sses.

Dont dwell on f ai lure, but relish in success.

So why is it im portant to ask for forgivene ss?

When to Se ek Professi onal Help

time to seek p rofe ssional help.

prone to er rors? Do you get angry at yo urself whenever you do s omething

anger? Do yo ur f amily and frie nds think th at you have serious

done you wrong?

Do you hit peo ple or bre ak th ings within yo ur re ach

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