Etiquette

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For the Wikipedia policy, see Wikipedia:Etiquette.
For the Casiotone for the Painfully Alone album, see Etiquette (album).
For the Something With Numbers album, see Etiquette (Something with Numbers album).

In High-Change in Bond Street,—ou—la Politesse du Grande Monde (1796), James

Gillray caricatured the lack of etiquette in a group of men leering at women and crowding
them off a sidewalk.

Etiquette, one aspect of decorum, is a code that governs the expectations of social
behavior, according to the contemporary conventional norm within a society, social class,
or group. Usually unwritten, it may be codified in written form. Etiquette usually reflects
formulas of conduct in which society or tradition have invested. An etiquette may reflect
an underlying ethical code, or it may grow more as a fashion, as in eighteenth century
Britain where apparently pointless acts like the manner in which a tea cup was held
became associated with the upper class. Like "culture", it is a word that has gradually
grown plural, especially in a multi-ethnic society with many clashing expectations. Thus,
it is now possible to refer to "an etiquette" or "a culture", realizing that these may not be
universal. In Britain, though, the word etiquette has its roots in the eighteenth century,
becoming a universal force in the nineteenth century to the extent that it has been
described as the one word that aptly describes life during the reign of Queen Victoria [1].

Contents
[hide]

• 1 Norms and effects of etiquette

 • 2 Manners
• 3 Cultural differences
• 4 Western business etiquette
• 5 See also
• 6 References
• 7 Further reading

• 8 External links

[edit] Norms and effects of etiquette

This section may contain original research or unverified claims.
Please improve the article by adding references. See the talk page for details. (September 2007)

Etiquette codes prescribe and restrict the ways in which people interact with each other,
based on respect for other people and the accepted customs of a society.

Modern etiquette codifies social interactions with others, such as:[citation needed]

• Greeting relatives, friends and acquaintances with warmth and respect

• Refraining from insults and prying curiosity
• Offering hospitality to guests
• Wearing clothing suited to the occasion
• Contributing to conversations without dominating them
• Offering assistance to those in need
• Eating neatly and quietly
• Avoiding disturbing others with unnecessary noise
• Following established rules of an organization upon becoming a member
• Arriving promptly when expected
• Comforting the bereaved
• Responding to invitations promptly
• Accepting gifts or favors with humility and to acknowledge them promptly with
thanks or refusing the gift politely (e.g. a thank-you card)

In the upper strata of Roman society, etiquette would have instructed a man to: greet
friends and acquaintances with decorum, according to their rank, refrain from showing
emotions in public, keep his wife(s) secluded from his clients, support his family's
position with public munificence, etc. Lower strata conformed to different rules.[citation
needed]

Violations of etiquette, if severe, can cause public disgrace, and in private hurt individual
feelings, create misunderstandings or real grief and pain, and can even escalate into
murderous rage. Many family feuds have their beginnings in trivial etiquette violations
that were blown out of proportion. In the ancient Hindu epic Mahabharata, the entire
world-destroying conflict between the armies of two clans begins when one ruler,
Duryodhana, commits a couple of minor faux pas at his cousin's castle, and is impolitely
made fun of for it. One can reasonably view etiquette as the minimal politics required to
avoid major conflict in polite society, and as such, an important aspect of applied ethics.

[edit] Manners
Main article: Manners

Manners involve a wide range of social interactions within cultural norms as in the
"comedy of manners", or a painter's characteristic "manner". Etiquette and manners, like
mythology, have buried histories especially when they seem to have little obvious
purpose, and their justifications as logical ("respect shown to others" etc.) may be equally
revealing to the social historian.

In the West, the notion of etiquette, being of French origin and arising from practices at
the court of Louis XIV, is occasionally disparaged as old-fashioned or elite, a Likecode
concerned only with "which fork to use". Some people consider etiquette to be an
unnecessary restriction of freedom of personal expression; others consider such free
spirits to be unmannerly and rude. For instance, wearing pajamas to a wedding in a
cathedral may be an expression of the guest's freedom, but may also cause the bride and
groom to suspect that the guest in pajamas is expressing amusement or disparagement
towards them and their wedding. Etiquette may be enforced in pragmatic ways: "No
shoes, no shirt, no service" is a notice commonly displayed outside stores and cafés in the
warmer parts of North America. Others feel that a single, basic code shared by all makes
life simpler and more pleasant by removing many chances for misunderstandings.

[edit] Cultural differences

Hunting Lice by Candlelight, Andries Both (Dutch, ca.1612/13–1641)

Etiquette is dependent on culture; what is excellent etiquette in one society may shock
another. Etiquette evolves within culture. The Dutch painter Andries Both shows that the
hunt for head lice (illustration, right), which had been a civilized grooming occupation in
the early Middle Ages, a bonding experience that reinforced the comparative rank of two
people, one groomed, one groomer, had become a peasant occupation by 1630. The
painter portrays the familiar operation matter-of-factly, without the sarcasm this subject
would have received in a nineteenth-century representation.

Etiquette can vary widely between different cultures and nations. In China, a person who
takes the last item of food from a common plate or bowl without first offering it to others
at the table may be seen as a glutton and insulting the generosity of the host. In most
European cultures a guest is expected to eat all of the food given to them, as a
compliment to the quality of the cooking.

Etiquette is a topic that has occupied writers and thinkers in all sophisticated societies for
millennia, beginning with a behavior code by Ptahhotep, a vizier in ancient Egypt's Old
Kingdom during the reign of the Fifth Dynasty king Djedkare Isesi (ca. 2414–2375 B.C.).
All known literate civilizations, including ancient Greece and Rome, developed rules for
proper social conduct. Confucius included rules for eating and speaking along with his
more philosophical sayings. Early modern conceptions of what behavior identifies a
"gentleman" were codified in the sixteenth century, in a book by Baldassare Castiglione,
Il Cortegiano ("The Courtier"); its codification of expectations at the Este court remained
in force in its essentials until World War I. Louis XIV established an elaborate and rigid
court ceremony, but distinguished himself from the high bourgeoisie by continuing to eat,
stylishly and fastidiously, with his fingers. An important book about etiquette is Galateo,
overo de' costumi by Monsignor Giovanni della Casa; in fact, in Italian, etiquette is
generally called galateo (or etichetta or protocollo).

In the UK, Debrett's is considered by many to be the arbiter of etiquette; their guides to
manners and form have long been the last word among polite society. Traditional
publications such as Correct Form have recently been updated to reflect contemporary
society, and new titles Etiquette for Girls and Manners for Men act as guides for those
who want to combine a modern lifestyle with traditional values.

In the American colonies Benjamin Franklin and George Washington wrote codes of
conduct for young gentlemen. The immense popularity of advice columns and books by
Letitia Baldrige and Miss Manners shows the currency of this topic. Even more recently,
the rise of the Internet has necessitated the adaptation of existing rules of conduct to
create Netiquette, which governs the drafting of email, rules for participating in an online
forum, and so on.

In Germany, there is an "unofficial" code of conduct, called the Knigge, based on a book
of high rules of conduct written by Adolph Freiherr Knigge in the late 18th century
entitled exactly Über den Umgang mit Menschen (On Human Relations). The code of
conduct is still highly respected in Germany today and is used primarily in the higher
society.

Etiquette may be wielded as a social weapon. The outward adoption of the superficial
mannerisms of an in-group, in the interests of social advancement rather than a concern
for others, is a form of snobbism, lacking in virtue.

[edit] Western business etiquette

The etiquette of business is the set of written and unwritten rules of conduct that make
social interactions run more smoothly. Office etiquette in particular applies to coworker
interaction, excluding interactions with external contacts such as customers and suppliers.
Both office and business etiquette overlap considerably with basic tenets of netiquette.
The conventions of office etiquette address unique, office environmental issues such as
cubicle life, usage of common areas, meetings, and other forms of social interaction
within the context of a work setting. The rules of office etiquette may vary by region,
office size, business specialty, company policy, and, to a certain degree, various laws
governing the workplace. Larger organizations tend to have stricter, expressly written
rules on etiquette.[citation needed] These rules are often echoed throughout an industry or
economy. For instance, 49% of employers surveyed in 2005 by the American National
Association of Colleges and Employers found that non-traditional attire would be a
"strong influence" on their opinion of a potential job candidate.[1]

[edit] See also

Etiquette and Etiquette and society Worldwide Etiquette
language
• Aliénor de Poitiers early • Africa
• Acrolect documentor of French etiquette • Asia
• Basilect • Concert etiquette • Australia and
• Honorific • Debrett's New Zealand
• Netiquette • Diplomacy • Canada and
• Political • Faux pas, Faux pas derived from the United
correctness Chinese pronunciation States
• Prescription and • Intercultural competence • Europe
description • Levée, the English version of Louis • Latin America
• Profanity XIV's morning rising etiquette
• Semantics (lever) at Versailles. • Middle East
• Slang • Military courtesy
• Slang dictionary • Order of precedence
• Standard • Protocol
language • Refine, Psychology And Social
• Style of address Class
• Rules of Civility and Decent
 Behaviour In Company and
• T-V distinction Conversation by George
Washington
• Social Norms
• Table manners
• Work Etiquette

• Zigzag method

[edit] References
1. ^ Grab bag - OOQ Online, Fall 2006

[edit] Further reading

• The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette: 50th Anniversary Edition, by
Nancy Tuckerman, Nancy Dunnan, and Amy Vanderbilt, Doubleday (1995),
ISBN 0-385-41342-4, 786 pages: originally published in 1952, this and Emily
Post's book were the U.S. etiquette bibles of the 50's-70's era.
• Debrett's Correct Form, Debrett's Limited (2006), 192 pages.
• Debrett's Wedding Guide, Debrett's Limited (2007), 224 pages.
• Debrett's Etiquette for Girls, Debrett's Limited (2006), 224 pages.
• Debrett's Manners for Men: What Women Really Want, Debrett's Limited (2007),
192 pages.
• Eye to Eye: How People Interact, by Peter Marsh, Salem House Publication,
ISBN 0-8816-2371-7, 256 pages.
• From Clueless to Class Act, series of books on etiquette, by Jodi Smith deals with
proper etiquette for men and women.
• The Little Book of Etiquette by Dorothea Johnson, Protocol School of
Washington, Philadelphia/London, Running Press (1997)ISBN-13-978-0-7624-
0009-6, 127 pages. A pocket-sized, take-along reference book for the user's
convenience.
• Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Freshly Updated, by
Judith Martin, illustrated by Gloria Kanem, W.W. Norton & Co. (2005), ISBN 0-
393-05874-3, 858 pages.
• New Manners for New Times: A Complete Guide to Etiquette, by Letitia Baldrige,
New York: Scribner, 2003, ISBN 0-7432-1062-X, 709 pages.
• The Power of Handshaking for Peak Performance Worldwide by Robert E. Brown
and Dorothea Johnson, Protocol School of Washington, Capital Books, Inc.,
Herndon, Virginia (2004), ISBN 1-931868-88-3, 98 pages.
• Secrets of Seasoned Professionals: They learned the hard way so you don't have
to, by Kelly A. Tyler, Fired Up Publishing (2008), ISBN 978-0-9818298-0-7, 146
pages.
 • Town & Country Modern Manners: The Thinking Person's Guide to Social
Graces, by Thomas P. Farley, Hearst Books (September 2005), ISBN 1-58816-
454-3, 256 pages.
• Manners That Sell: Adding the Polish that Builds Profits, by Lydia Ramsey,
Longfellow Press (2007), 978-0967001203, 188 pages.

[edit] External links