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I'll play with it first and tell you what it is later. -- Miles Davis I'm hungry! I'm hungry!

for good things to eat for Sugar Jets, Sugar Jets (whole toasted wheat) -- Advertisement I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been avoiding the beach. -- Lucinda Childs Nothing is true. Everything is permitted. -- Hassan I Sabbah Don't let your mouth write no check that your tail can't cash. -- Bo Diddley The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. -- Niels Bohr The most merciful thing in the world ... is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. -- H. P. Lovecraft Take what you can use and let the rest go by. -- Ken Kesey It's not the size of the ship, it's the size of the waves. -- Little Richard I never loved another person the way I loved myself. -- Mae West Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. -- Sigmund Freud When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before. -- Mae West Her life was saved by rock and roll. -- Lou Reed Honest, Officer, had I known my health stood in jeopardy I would never had lit one. -- Maxim of the Hells Angels It is a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night. -- Willie Sutton Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting. -- Billy Rose

The rich will do anything for the poor but get off their backs. -- Karl Marx If Karl, instead of writing a lot about capital, had made a lot of it ... it would have been much better. -- Karl Marx's Mother If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world? -- Richard M Nixon When I sell liquor, it's called bootlegging; when my patrons serve it on Lake Shore Drive, it's called hospitality. -- Al Capone Anything anybody can say about America is true. -- Emmett Grogan Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles. -- Frank Lloyd Wright If you've seen one city slum, you've seen them all. -- Spiro Agnew If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all. -- Ronald Reagan Use it up ... Wear it out. Make it do ... Or do without. -- US World War II Message You can't underestimate the power of fear. -- Tricia Nixon The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak. -- Wavy Gravy The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. -- Buckminster Fuller Things are more like they are now than they ever were before. -- Dwight D Eisenhower You smash it - and I'll build around it. -- John Lennon College isn't the place to go for ideas. -- Helen Keller Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories. -- Arthur C Clarke America, how can you write a holy litany in your silly mood? -- Allen Ginsberg It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody.

-- Richard M Nixon Any smoothly functioning technology will have the appearance of magic. -- Arthur C Clarke Justice is incidental to law and order. -- J. Edgar Hoover Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. -- Groucho Marx The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it. -- Abbie Hoffman Stay out of the road, if you want to grow old. -- Pink Floyd Here I am, fifty-eight, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. -- Peter Drucker How can you be two places at once when you're not anywhere at all? -- Firesign Theater I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability. -- Oscar Wilde We are what we pretend to be. -- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. -- Oscar Wilde The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong but that's the way to bet. -- Damon Runyon My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind. -- Albert Einstein Real wealth can only increase. -- R. Buckminster Fuller Anyone can hate. it costs to love. -- John Williamson In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true. -- John Lilly Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space. -- Graffiti The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible. -- Albert Einstein Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it. -- Tallulah Bankhead

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms. -- George Wald Don't lose Your head To gain a minute You need your head Your brains are in it. -- Burma Shave It was always thus; and even if 'twere not, 'twould inevitably have been always thus. -- Dean Lattimer Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas. -- Ken Weaver We don't know who discovered water, but we are certain it wasn't a fish. -- John Culkin Try to be the best of what you are, even if what you are is no good. -- Ashleigh Brilliant I waited and waited, and when no message came, I knew it must have been from you. -- Ashleigh Brilliant Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth. -- Ashleigh Brilliant Please don't ask me what the score is, I'm not even sure what the game is. -- Ashleigh Brilliant I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. -- Ashleigh Brilliant If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly. -- Ashleigh Brilliant I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem. -- Ashleigh Brilliant Maybe I'm lucky to be going so slowly, because I may be going in the wrong direction. -- Ashleigh Brilliant By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me. -- Ashleigh Brilliant To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. -- Ashleigh Brilliant America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. -- Oscar Wilde

The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization. -- Alan Coult If the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it. -- Stanley Garn The world looks as if it has been left in the custody of trolls. -- Father Robert F. Capon Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too. -- Richard M. Nixon We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower If we make peaceful revolution impossible, we make violent revolution inevitable. -- John F. Kennedy It takes a long time to understand nothing. -- Edward Dahlberg To know the world one must construct it. -- Cesare Pavese Eeny Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak. -- Bullwinkle Moose The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out. -- Tenessee Williams An object never serves the same function as its image- or its name. -- Rene Magritte All I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard, ya don't go lookin' for rutabagas. -- Kingfish He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder. -- M. C. Escher Law of Computability Applied to Social Sciences: If at first you don't succeed, transform your data set. Laws of Computer Programming 1. Any given program, when running, is obsolete. 2. Any given program costs more and takes longer. 3. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. 4. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. 5. Any given program will expand to fill all available memory. 6. The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output. 7. Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it. 8. Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers cannot write in English. -- SIGPLAN Notices, Vol. 2 No. 2 Froud's Law:

A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first. Fullers Law of Cosmic Irreversibility: 1 Pot T == 1 Pot P 1 Pot P != 1 Pot T -- R. Buckminster Fuller Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked. -- Robert D. Sprecht (Rand Corp.) Thoreau's Law: If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of doing you good, you should run for your life. Vique's Law: A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle. Zimmerman's Law of Complaints: Nobody notices when things go right. Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance. -- Confucius Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein. -- Book of Proverbs It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. -- Mark Twain The unnatural, that too is natural. -- Goethe I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure. -- Graffiti I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn't like it. -- Samuel Goldwyn He hasn't one redeeming vice. -- Oscar Wilde I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. -- Graffiti (To Walter Cronkite): "Well Walter, I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm damned if I'm going to use up mine running up and down a street" -- Neil Armstrong "You doubted Me," God tells the Lawgiver [Moses], "But I forgave you that doubt. You doubted your own self and failed to believe in your own powers as a leader, and I forgave you that also. But you lost faith in these people and doubted the divine possibilities of Human Nature. THIS loss of faith makes it impossible for you to enter the Promised Land." -- The Midrash

'Martyrdom' is the only way a person can become famous without ability. -- George Bernard Shaw Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without any proof. -- Ashley Montague Make no little plans. They have no Magic to stir Men's blood. -- D. B. Hudson Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more 'user-friendly'.... Their best approach, so far, has been to take all the old brochures, and stamp the words, 'user-friendly' on the cover. -- Bill Gates, Microsoft, Inc. Eight Things 1) It won't 2) It won't 3) It won't 4) It won't 5) It won't 6) It won't 7) It won't 8) It won't your computer won't do: save you money make your organization run right solve every problem run itself always be right meet all its own needs protect itself become obsolete -- J. Makower

Ketterling's Law: Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence. The government of the United States is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion. -- George Washington In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments -- there are consequences. -- Robert G.Ingersoll We have met the enemy, and he is us. -- Walt Kelly Sloppy, raggedy-assed old life. I love it. I never want to die. -- Dennis Trudell He is the best sailor who can steer within fewest points of the wind, and exact a motive power of the greatest obstacle. -- Henry David Thoreau The biggest things are always the easiest to do because there is no competition. -- William Van Horne Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. -- Robert F. Kennedy Back of every achievement is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law. -- Brooks Hays Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.

-- Mark Twain We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have done. -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. -- Theodore Roosevelt He has half the deed done who has made a beginning. -- Horace The only way round is through. -- Robert Frost Is there anything in life so disenchanting as attainment? -- Robert Louis Stevenson I'm a slow walker, but I never walk back. -- Abraham Lincoln Out of the best and most productive years of each man's life, he should carve a segment in which he puts his private career aside to serve his community and his country, and thereby serve his children, his neighbors, his fellow men, and the cause of freedom. -- David Lilenthal Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step; only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find his right road. -- Dag Hammarskjold We promise according to our hopes and perform according to our fears. -- La Rochefoucald For a man to achieve all that is demanded of him he must regard himself as greater than he is. -- Johann von Goethe He that leaveth nothing to Chance will do few things ill, but he will do very few things. -- George, Lord Halifax When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion. -- Ethiopian proverb Everyone must row with the oars he has. -- English proverb Every calling is great when greatly pursued. -- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. God gives the nuts, but he does not crack them. -- German proverb Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity. -- Louis Pasteur The world is all gates, all opportunities, strings of tension waiting to be struck.

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Sometimes it is more important to discover what one cannot do, than what one can do. -- Lin Yutang Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. -- David Lloyd George There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all. -- Peter F. Drucker The reward of a thing well done, is to have done it. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson He who desires, but acts not, breeds pestilence. -- William Blake There are two reasons for doing things -- a very good reason and the real reason. -- Anon. I shall tell you a great secret, my friend. Do not wait for the last judgment, it takes place every day. -- Albert Camus Do not show your wounded finger, for everything will knock up against it. -- Baltasar Gracian They sicken of the calm that know the storm. -- Dorothy Parker Trouble is only an opportunity in work clothes. -- Henry J. Kaiser The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. -- Woodrow Wilson The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. -- Martin Luther King, Jr. Great occasions do not make heroes or cowards; they simply unveil them to the eyes of men. Silently and imperceptibly, as we wake or sleep, we grow strong or weak; and at last some crisis shows what we have become. -- Brooke Foss Westcott What does not destroy me, makes me strong. -- Friedrich Nietzsche From a fallen tree, all make kindling. -- Spanish proverb They say a reasonable amount o' fleas is good for a dog -- keeps him from broodin' over bein' a dog mebbe. -- Edward Noyes Westcott

The burden is equal to the horses strength. -- The Talmud Nothing befalls a man except what is in his nature to endure. -- Marcus Aurelius Prosperity tries the fortunate: adversity the great. -- Pliny the Younger When the world has once begun to use us ill, it afterwards continues the same treatment with less scruple or ceremony, as men do to a whore. -- Jonathan Swift Thou hast shown thy people hard things: thou hast made us to drink the wine of astonishment. -- Psalms 60:3 I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left. -- Voltaire When men grow virtuous in their old age, they only make a sacrifice to God of the devil's leavings. -- Jonathan Swift Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age. -- Victor Hugo Middle age is youth without it's levity. And old age without decay. -- Daniel Defoe First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down. -- Leo Rosenberg What makes old age so sad is not that our joys but our hopes cease. -- Jean Paul Richter Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives. -- Maurice Chevalier Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom. -- Soren Kierkegaard Anxiety is interest paid on trouble before it is due. -- Dean Inge Anxiety is fear of one's self. -- Wilhelm Stekel Neurotic means he is not as sensible as I am, and psychotic means he's even worse than my brother-in-law. -- Karl Menninger Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained. -- Arthur Somers Roche I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides,

the pig likes it. -- George Bernard Shaw Ask a toad what is beauty?...a female with two great round eyes coming out of her little head, a large flat mouth, a yellow belly and a brown back. -- Voltaire Grace is the absence of everything that indicates pain or difficulty, hesitation or incongruity. -- William Hazlitt Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson Beauty is everlasting And dust is for a time. -- Marianne Moore There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion. -- Francis Bacon A book is a mirror: if an ass peers into it, you can't expect an apostle to look out. -- G. C. Lichtenberg Ordinary people know little of the time and effort it takes to learn to read. I have been eighty years at it, and have not reached my goal. -- Johann von Goethe Dictionaries are like watches: the worst is better than none, and the best cannot be expected to go quite true. -- Samuel Johnson Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week. -- William Dean Howells A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you. -- Bert Leston Taylor A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company. -- Gian Vincenzo Gravina Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity. -- R. I. Fitzhenry Patience is a most necessary quality for business; many a man would rather you heard his story than grant his request. -- Lord Chesterfield A holding company is the people you give your money to while you're being searched. -- Will Rogers A man isn't a man until he has to meet a payroll. -- Ivan Shaffer A company is judged by the president it keeps.

-- James Hulbert The harder you work, the luckier you get. -- Gary Player Chance is always powerful. Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a fish. -- Ovid I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird, and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. -- Franklin D. Roosevelt Throw a lucky man into the sea, and he will come up with a fish in his mouth. -- Arabic proverb If fortune turns against you, even jelly breaks your tooth. -- Persian proverb As one gets older, one discovers everything is going to be exactly the same with different hats on. -- Noel Coward I see gr-reat changes takin' place ivry day, but no change at all ivry fifty years. -- Finley Peter Dunne 'Change' is scientific, 'progress' is ethical; change is indubitable, whereas progress is a matter of controversy. -- Bertrand Russell Character is what God and the angels know of us; reputation is what men and women think of us. -- Horace Mann Babies are such a nice way to start people. -- Don Herold There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age. -- Benjamin Spock If Columbus had had an advisory committee he would probably still be at the dock. -- Justice Arthur Goldberg She had lost the art of conversation, but not, unfortunately, the power of speech. -- George Bernard Shaw I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation. -- George Benard Shaw Courage is fear holding on a minute longer. -- George S. Patton One man with courage makes a majority. -- Andrew Jackson He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.

-- Abraham Lincoln Two and two continue to make four, in spite of the whine of the amateur for three, or the cry of the critic for five. -- James McNeill Whistler In judging others, folks will work overtime for no pay. -- Charles Edwin Carruthers To escape criticism -- do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. -- Elbert Hubbard I am sitting in the smallest room in my house. I have your review in front of me. Soon it will be behind me. -- Max Reger When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one. -- Friedrich Nietzsche Wherever there is a crowd there is untruth. -- Soren Kierkegaard Do not go gentle into that good night Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. -- Dylan Thomas Dying is a wild night and a new road. -- Emily Dickinsom The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. -- Mark Twain We die only once, and for such a long time. -- Moliere Life is a great suprise. I do not see why death should not be an even greater one. -- Vladimir Nobokov If life must not be taken too seriously -- then so neither must death. -- Samuel Butler The crash of the whole solar and stellar systems could only kill you once. -- Thomas Carlyle We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves. -- Johann von Goethe Half the work that is done in the world is to make things appear what they are not. -- E. R. Beadle I give you bitter pills in sugar coating. The pills are harmless: the poison is in the sugar. -- Stanislaw Lec I have known a vast quantity of nonsense talked about bad men not looking you in the face. Don't trust that conventional idea. Dishonesty will out-

stare honesty out of countenance, any day in the week, if there is anything to be got by it. -- Charles Dickens To lose Is to learn. -- Anon. What is defeat? Nothing but education, nothing but the first step toward something better. -- Wendell Phillips The schools ain't what they used to be and never was. -- Will Rogers The things taught in school are not an education but the means of an education. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson Intelligence appears to be the thing that enables a man to get along without an education. Education appears to be the thing that enables a man to get along without the use of his intelligence. -- A. E. Wiggan Education with inert ideas is not only useless; it is above all things harmful. -- Alfred North Whitehead A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. -- George Santayana Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. -- William Butler Yeats The ultimate goal of the educational system is to shift to the individual the burden of pursuing his education. -- John W. Gardner A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. -- Baltasar Gracian You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. -- Eric Hoffer [Man's fate] contains the root and the sum of all creation's drive, and this it is that makes it so entrancing, exhilarating and perilous. And such is Man: he would rather balance on the tightrope of his own creation, razor-thin and sagging in the middle, over the abysmal valley of his own folly, than walk in safety starting meadowlarks. It is in danger and in the times that most try his soul that he flourishes. -- William Ready There is nothing I'm afraid of like scared people. -- Robert Frost The scalded cat fears even cold water. -- Thomas Fuller Fear has a smell, as

Love does. -- Margaret Atwood

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