'Denity Crisis written by Christopher Durang ( Jane tells her psychiatrist a story from her childhood.

) Jane: When I was eight years old, someone brought me to this... theatre. Full of lots of other children. We were supposed to be watching a production of "Peter Pan." And I remember that something seemed terribly wrong with the whole production. Odd things kept happening. For instance, when the children would fly, the ropes they were on would just keep breaking ... and the actors would come thumping to the ground and they had to be carried off by stagehands. And there seemed to be an unlimited supply of understudies, to take their places, and then they'd just fall to the ground. And then the crocodile that chases Captain Hook, seemed to be a real crocodile, it wasn't an actor. And at one point it fell off the stage and crushed a couple of kids in the front row. And then some of the understudies came and took their places in the audience. And from scene to scene, Wendy just seemed to get fatter and fatter until finally by the end of act one she was completely immobile and they had to move her off stage with a cart. You remember how in the second act Tinkerbell drinks some poison that peter is about to drink in order to save him? And then Peter turns to the audience and he says that "Tinkerbell is going to die because not enough people believe in fairies. But if all of you clap your hands real hard to show that you do believe in fairies, maybe she won't die." So, we all started to clap. I clapped so long and so hard that my palms hurt and they even started to bleed I clapped so hard. Then suddenly the actress playing peter pan turned to the audience and she said, "That wasn't enough. You did not clap hard enough. Tinkerbell is dead." And then we all started to cry. The actress stomped off stage and refused to continue with the production. They finally had to lower the curtain. The ushers had to come help us out of the aisles and into the street. I don't think that any of us were ever the same after that experience. It certainly turned me against theatre. And even more damagingly, I think it's warped my total sense of life. I mean nothing seems worth trying if Tinkerbell is just going to die.

Butterflies Are Free By Leonard Gershe

(Jill is 19, and afraid for becoming emotionally involved. She has just met the attractive young man who lives in the next apartment.)

JILL: You're thinking I don't look like a divorcee. They're usually around thiry-five with tight-fitting dresses and high-heel patent leather shoes and big boobs. I look more like the kid in a custody fight. I really can't talk about Jack. No, I will talk about him. Once in a while it's good for you to do something you don't want to do. It cleanses the insides. He was terribly sweet and groovy-looking, but kind of adolescent, you know what I mean? Girls mature faster than boys. Boys are neater, but girls mature faster. When we met it was like fireworks. I don't know if I'm saying it right, but it was a marvelous kind of passion that made every day like the Fourth of July. Anyway, the next thing I knew we were standing in front of a justice of the peace getting married. I mean there we were getting married! I hadn't even finished high school and I had two exams the next day and they were on my mind, too. I heard the justice of the peace saying, "Do you, Jack, take Jill to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Can you imaging going through life as Jack and Jill? And then I heard "Till death do you part" and, suddenly, it wasn't a wedding ceremony. It was a funeral service. You know that wedding ceremony is very morbid when you think about it. I hate anyhting morbid and there I was being buried alive...under Jack Benson. I wanted to run screaming out into the night! But it was ten o' clock in the morning. I mean you can't go screaming out into ten o'clock in the morning...so I passed out. If only I'd fainted before I said "I do".

Dangerous Liaisons written by Christopher Hampton, novel by Choderlos de Laclos Marquise De Merteuil:

When I came out into society I was 15. I already knew then that the role I was condemned to, namely to keep quiet and do what I was told, gave me the perfect opportunity to listen and observe. Not to what people told me, which naturally was of no interest to me, but to whatever it was they were trying to hide. I practiced detachment. I learned how to look cheerful while under the table I stuck a fork onto the back of my hand. I became a virtuoso of deceit. I consulted the strictest moralists to learn how to appear, philosophers to find out what to think, and novelist to see what I could get away with, and in the end it all came down to one wonderfully simple principle: win or die.

Fanny Brice Gender: Female Age Range: 18 30 Show: Funny Girl

Duration: 0 1 minutes Monologue Type: comedic Notes: None

Suppose all ya ever had for breakfast was onion rolls. Then one day, in walks (gasp) a bagel! You'd say, 'Ugh, what's that?' Until you tried it! That's my problem - I'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls. Nobody recognizes me! Listen, I got 36 expressions. Sweet as pie and tough as leather. And that's six expressions more than all those...Barrymores put together. Instead of just kicking me, why don't they give me a lift? Well, it must be a plot, 'cause they're scared that I got...such a gift! 'Cause I'm the greatest star, I am by far, but no one knows it. Wait - they're gonna hear a voice, a silver flute. They'll cheer each toot, hey, she's terrific!, when I expose it. Now can't you see to look at me that I'm a natural Camille, and as Camille, I just feel, I've so much to offer. Kid, I know I'd be divine because I'm a natural cougher (coughs) - some ain't got it, not a lump. I'm a great big clump of talent! Laugh, they'll bend in half. Did you ever hear the story about the travelling salesman? A thousand jokes, stick around for the jokes. A thousand faces. I reiterate. When you're gifted, then you're gifted. These are facts, I've got no axe to grind. Ay! What are ya, blind? In all of the world so far, I'm the greatest star! No autographs, please. What? You think beautiful girls are gonna stay in style forever? I should say not! Any minute now they're gonna be out! FINISHED! Then it'll be my turn!

Character: Jasmine Gender: Female Age (range): 18-35 Style: Comedy Length: 2 minutes

Do you have a light? I need a smoke so desperately and you don't smoke. I'm sure you don't smoke. Or maybe you DO smoke and I'm judging a book. Am I being hasty? I know I"m being manic but I really need a cigarette. Second hand smoke does kill. I was reading one of my fathers medical journals. I have a predilection for reading medical journals. That was a big word. That was obnoxious wasn't it? Sorry! I do that sometimes-I think I'm trying to impress you. But I have all these medical journals in my apartment, unrecycled. I have copious amounts-there I go again-copius amounts of unrecycled paper just sitting in my apartment. It's really criminal. What I SHOULD do to be conservative and enviro-friendly is to get online. Are you online? I'm looking really forward to webstock. I think that kinda of thing you can change our democracy. Do you have an Email address that I can Email you..something?-Ten years ago I almost drown in my bathtub.And um..did you know that when you're starting to drown and the water is coming into your lungs its similar to sleeping-or the FEELING is similar to sleeping. I mean I don't know. I didn't drown or anything. It was kinda funny. I guess you had to be there. But if you think of the Titanic and all of those people ''asleep'' in their deckchairs. It is a FAR more palatable tragedy.-What? Do I seem crazy? I'm not crazy! I may talk a lot but I'm not crazy. If you met someone really crazy I'm telling you, you'd know. The most disturbed person I ever met was my roommate Elizabeth. She was a borderline paranoid schizophrenic, worst halitosis in the world, bar none-and she was attracted to me-ewwwww. Although, she did come from a very wealthy family so when they came to take her out to dinner I cashed in my chips on that one. Don't look at me like that-YES I spent some time in a hospital. So! I'm not crazy. I'm NOT CRAZY! Although a lot of people do agree my Mom should have never had children. I shan't, I've had my tubes tied.