The Difference Between Having Sex and Making Love

July 8, 2009 - 11:00 am By Kathryn S

I dont know if we should talk about this And why not? Everybody has sex! Yeah, but everybody should be making love. Come on, how many guys do you know making love? Salt N Pepa, Lets Talk About Sex In the past six months, Ive had sex. Ive been laid. I f*cked. However, its been a long time since Ive made love, and I kind of miss it. Some people might argue that theres no difference physically, they are the same. But emotionally, passionately, and mentally, the two deeds are very different. 1. The First Time. The first time you make love with your partner, its usually a very special moment. Its often planned out in advance, especially in new relationships. Theres often sensual foreplay, and your bodies fit together perfectly. If its your first time with a new partner and youre just having sex, it may be spontaneous. Your partner may not be your boyfriend, or even your crush, and the decision to go all the way is frequently a hormonal (thanks, booze!) impulse. First time sex can be sloppy and awkward as

you try to find the right position, and after everythings said and done, it feels like there was something missing. 2. Your BAC. Ive heard of drunken sex, but Ive never heard of inebriated love-making. If anyone has experienced the urban legend of wasted love-making, Id love to hear about it. 3. The Setting. If youre about to copulate in a dim room filled with candles, on a bed covered with rose petals, youre probably going to make love. If youre going to do it in the backseat of a car, an airplane bathroom, an elevator, or another compact space that may have legal repercussions attached, its sex. Al fresco sex/love-making is a grey area. Sure, sex on the beach or in the woods may sound like a fairy tale scenario, but dirt in sand in uncomfortable places can ruin the romance. 4. The Soundtrack. Lovemaking songs include The Fear You Wont Fall by Joshua Radin or Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones (or any cover version, including Mazzy Star, Jewel, or the Sundays). F*cking songs range from Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry to Every Girl by Lil Wayne. Do you really want to ride someone when the words You f so good Im on top of it blare from the stereo? Likewise, Birthday Sex by Jeremih is a bit tacky. Sure, there isnt always music playing when youre doing it, but if you could have picked a song to illustrate last nights mood, which would you pick? 5. The Aftermath. Lovemaking includes mutual orgasms, followed by spooning and cuddling. If youre in a relationship, your boyfriends post-sex behavior could include promptly rolling over and falling asleep, or the phrase That was great, despite the fact that you didnt get off. If youre single, youll take the walk of shame after a long night of sex. In those rare occasions that youve made love to someone without commitment, it could turn into breakfast in the morning, a few more rounds, and maybe even a new relationship. In my opinion (and experience), its far more common to have sex than to make love. However, this means that when you do find yourself both emotionally and physically stimulated with a partner you care for very deeply, you appreciate the art of lovemaking so much more than that one-night stand a few months ago with whatshisname. Any other differences between sex and making love? Share your thoughts below! You might like:

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Bromances Arent Built On Intimacy Posted in Relationships, Sex Tags: candles, emotion, hormones, making love, mood, music, one night stand, orgasm, passion, physical, relationship, romance, rose petals, Sex, sex vs making love

14 Comments 0diggsdigg

ShareThis 14 Comments on "The Difference Between Having Sex and Making Love" 1. Whitney says: Wed, 8th Jul 200910:22 pm This is why Im waiting until I get married to have sexand I couldnt be happier about my decision. For clarification, please dont take this as Im passing judgment; Im not. Ive made my decision, others make theirs (who cares what other people do?) My point is: Im dating an amazing guy who feels the same way and we have never feel pressured to have sexand our relationship isnt strained by it. Besides, we dont have to worry about how many walks of shame the other has taken.

I just honestly dont understand the thrill of sleeping around in college. Maybe its just me, who knowsit just seems more stressful than fun.

2. Amy says: Thu, 9th Jul 20092:02 am there is such a thing as inebriated love making, Ive experienced it. Me and my boyfriend were out with friends, had a few drinks (or a few too many) then went home and did it. Drunken, yes, but also loving and passionate and tender. Its the relationship that draws the line between sex and loving making, not your bac.

3. Sophia says: Thu, 9th Jul 20096:04 am During my early college years, I dated several guys without any real commitments (something Ive come to regret but oh well have I learned my lesson). I eventually settled down and have been in a relationship for more than a year. The sex I had with past guys can neverrr equate to the sex I have with my boyfriend now. Like everyone else before me mentioned, once youve found someone you love, you just know. You know how to distinguish sex vs love making. You realize sex is more than just a physical connection. You also know that *this* guy cares for you more when he waits until youre fully pleasured and satisfied unlike the douches who would bust and then itd be my cue to leave. God do I not miss that lol

4. anonymous says: Thu, 9th Jul 20099:18 pm Whats weird is that my current friends-with-benefits guy and I have by all of your categories, we make love, not have sex. But were not in a relationship and neither of us wants to be. Were just both very sensual people

5. shari says: Thu, 9th Jul 20099:54 pm i have had the mythical inebriated love making! good times

6. R says: Mon, 1st Mar 20101:21 am I think love making is something should done by everybody. It is truthly wonderful, and completely different from sex. I like seeing my partner responding to my action. Touching, kissing, music, talking, smelling, blushing, and so on and so forth all plays important parts.