The Pearls of Islam

7th February 2011 3 Rabee Al-Awal 1432 Volume 3 Issue 6 by Hussain Khaki

Reminder Series

Valuing The Contribution of Others

This reminder is intended to be practical and requires some contemplation. Think of a few adjectives that describe your: - Favourite Animal (e.g. Brave, Courageous, Sweet etc) - Favourite Colour (Boisterous, Unnoticed etc) - Perception of a white room (Dull, Empty, Pale etc) - Favourite Sport (Enthusiastic, Fun etc) Only read on if you have attempted the above. Psychoanalysts often interpret the above 4 in the following way. The adjectives used represent: - animal adjectives represent how you perceive yourself - Colour adjectives represent how others perceive you - White room adjectives represent your perception of death - Sport adjectives represent your perception of the future and/or your spouse

Often, there is a disparity between the way we perceive ourselves and the way others perceive us. The gap can be narrowed or nullified through being mindful of, and implementing constructive feedback. We sometimes omit to value the contribution of others (particularly those of other or no faith), which is unequivocally opposed in our teachings. As Allah (Glorified and Exalted) says in Sura Hujurat [The Dwellings], Verse 13: O Humanity! Without doubt We have created you from a male and a female and have made you into

various nations and tribes, so that you may come to know and understand each other.

In order to establish ourselves as people of virtue, we should try and listen to what the person is saying, not just who is saying it and appreciate that arrogance (or certitude of our seemingly-impeccable character) is the major stumbling block towards reforming and implementing the feedback of others Accept that, when others give us constructive comments, it is usually because they care for us. If we are critical of something, it is often because we want to ensure it improves and we care for it. Just like a parent will discipline its child for the childs own benefit, we should view the feedback of others in the same regard. Allah (Glorified and Exalted) seeks to awaken us to our misgivings, but only for our own sake. 2011 A year where far-right groups and intolerance is already endemic. In such an age, should learn to accept that feedback is integral for our material and spiritual improvement. Indeed, Allah (Glorified and Exalted) devotes an entire chapter of the Holy Quran to Consultation (Ash -Shuara, Chapter 42) The poet Rumi once remarked: Since in order to speak, one must first listen - learn to speak by listen-

ing

In closing, we take the example of a diamond the most precious gem. To achieve its sparkling state, it undergoes refinement in temperatures of 400C+, intense burning and cutting with razor-sharp tools. In the same way, to sparkle as human beings, we ought to accept the good counsel of others even if it seems tough to accept, hard-hitting, or challenging to implement. May Allah (Glorified and Exalted) allow us to refine our characteristics and use feedback to improve our characters Ameen.