Get a Document - by Citation - 2011 Conn. Super.

LEXIS 1747

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Service: Get by LEXSEE Citation: 2011 Conn. Super. LEXIS 1747

2011 Conn. Super. LEXIS 1747, * Carol Bemis v. Eric Bemis KNOFA064104633S SUPERIOR COURT OF CONNECTICUT, JUDICIAL DISTRICT OF NEW LONDON AT NORWICH 2011 Conn. Super. LEXIS 1747

July 12, 2011, Decided July 12, 2011, Filed NOTICE: THIS DECISION IS UNREPORTED AND MAY BE SUBJECT TO FURTHER APPELLATE REVIEW. COUNSEL IS CAUTIONED TO MAKE AN INDEPENDENT DETERMINATION OF THE STATUS OF THIS CASE. CASE SUMMARY

OVERVIEW: When the parties were divorced, their marital settlement agreement provided for shared physical custody. Post-judgment litigation continued between the parties. The mother sought sole custody and the father sought joint custody, with each providing for access by the other parent. The court noted that each party resided with another adult and their children, and that the parties had difficulties communicating with one another. Based on the difficulties experienced by the oldest child, the court determined that sole legal custody with the mother was warranted. OUTCOME: Mother awarded sole legal custody; access to children provided to father. Related directions provided.

CORE TERMS: parenting, mother's home, therapist, custody, weekends, alternating, girlfriend's, evening, therapy, adult, sole custody, investigated, appointments, discipline, physically, attend, phone, modify, minor children, ad litem, supervision, communicate, emergency, afternoon, morning, reside, accuses, injure, lax

JUDGES: [*1] Kenneth L. Shluger , J. OPINION BY: Kenneth L. Shluger OPINION

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Get a Document - by Citation - 2011 Conn. Super. LEXIS 1747

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MEMORANDUM OF DECISION PROCEDURAL BACKGROUND A review of the record reveals that the parties married on February 22, 1997 and are the parents of three minor children, Alyssa Bemis born October 7, 1997, Krista Bemis born August 3, 1999 and Kyle Bemis born November 8, 2000. They were divorced pursuant to a marital settlement agreement on August 30, 2007 whereby there was shared physical custody with the father having the children from Friday at 6 p.m. until Sunday at 6 p.m. in weeks one and three and from Thursday at 6 p.m. until Sunday at 6 p.m. on weeks two and four. The parties have returned to court on countless occasions for contempts, modifications, emergency ex parte orders, appointments of Guardians ad litem, changes in counsel, and restraining orders. The father has a permanent girlfriend with children who reside with them and the mother has remarried a man with children who reside with them. Although all four adults are dysfunctional on many levels, the two men seem to have the lion's share of conflict. The mother is seeking sole custody of all three children with the father having access on alternating weekends from Saturday morning until [*2] Sunday late afternoon and Wednesday from 4 to 7 p.m. The father is seeking joint custody of all three children with the mother enjoying access on alternating weekends from Friday afternoon until Sunday evening and Wednesdays from 4 to 7 p.m. The parties appeared together with counsel and the Guardian ad litem (GAL) on November 24, 2010 and for some unknown reason, did not return until June 29, 2011 and then on July 7, 2011. The court heard testimony from both parties, Attorney Robert Carey (the GAL), the family relations officer who conducted the custody evaluation, a school guidance counselor, the wife's new husband, the therapist of Alyssa, the oldest child, the mother's new husband, the father's fiance and a DCF worker who investigated the family on two occasions. FINDINGS OF FACT 1. At the time of the November 24, 2010 hearing, Alyssa was living with her father as a result of an argument she had with her mother regarding discipline. 2. Since April 20, 2011, Alyssa has been residing exclusively with her mother. She is presently willing to spend tine with her father but only if her father is actively engaged and does not delegate his parenting to his girlfriend. Pursuant to a court order, [*3] she had a brief visit for a few hours on a recent Sunday night; it did not go well and was cut short. 3. Alyssa has made complaints in the past to her therapist and others that her mother's husband is physically abusive to her and to her mother and has created a violent and tumultuous home atmosphere. It is at once disturbing and confusing as to why Alyssa chooses to remain in that environment. She was in therapy from November 2010 until June 2011 with a diagnosis of adjustment disorder, depression and anxiety. Her therapist testified that she has been unable to engage or otherwise open to her therapist and thus, her therapist discharged her with the hope of her returning when she is more willing to benefit from the needed therapy. 4. Alyssa is a troubled child and the court fears that she will have problems regardless of what orders it fashions unless and until the adults in her life, who profess caring and love for her, dramatically change their own behaviors. 5. Alyssa reports that her father's home has many more rules than her mother's home. In November 2010, she was "kicked out" of her mother's home and came to live with her father who placed her into therapy. She returned to her [*4] mother's home in April 2011 due to the alleged misconduct of her father's girlfriend's 17-year-old son. DCF investigated and determined that the father had taken appropriate steps to prevent any future harm to his daughter and closed its case. The Police

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Get a Document - by Citation - 2011 Conn. Super. LEXIS 1747

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Department has investigated and no charges have been brought. 6. The two younger children seem to go easily between both homes. 7. Alyssa appears to have difficulty in each home for different reasons. Her report card from the first trimester of 2010, under her mother's watch, showed many absences and tardies and for the most part, showed poor academic grades. 8. The family relations officer who conducted a comprehensive custody evaluation concluded that the mother should have sole custody of all three children and that the father should have alternating weekends from Saturday morning until Sunday evening and Wednesday evenings. He found the father's parenting style to be "inappropriately lax" (TP 18). 9. The GAL likewise testified that the mother should have sole custody. He testified that the father does not support a mother-child relationship, that he undermines her authority and refuses to enforce her disciplines in his home. The GAL [*5] testified ". . . the mother has tried to raise those issues (precocious sexuality, use of computers, cell phone, Facebook, and lack of supervision) . . . and she has not been supported by the father" (TP 16). 10. The father accuses the mother of abusing prescription medication, sleeping during the day when she should be watching the children, lax supervision and discipline and permitting her new husband to abuse drugs and to physically and emotionally abuse the children. He reported her to DCF in May 2011 for failing to immediately attend to Alyssa's injured hand, a charge which was not substantiated. 11. The father's claims that he is the stable, attentive and rules-oriented parent is contradicted by both the GAL and the family relations officer who report just the opposite. They report that the father has repeatedly refused to enforce the mother's restrictions on Alyssa's "freedoms" citing her entitlement to privacy and independence, even in the face of the child's promiscuous conduct, much too advanced for her years. 12. The mother accuses the father of not protecting Alyssa from his girlfriend's son and of being too much of a disciplinarian for no constructive reason. 13. The mother's [*6] new husband has a history of substance abuse, violence and assaultive behavior. The father and the mother's new husband have come close to blows with each other; the father is fearful that the mother's new husband continues to abuse substances and has physically disciplined Alyssa. 14. The parents are unable to effectively co-parent for a variety of reasons too numerous to list. ORDERS 1. The mother shall have sole legal custody of the three minor children. 2. Neither party shall injure the children's opinion of the other parent by their words or their actions. Neither parent shall permit any third party to injure the children's opinion of the other parent by their words or their actions. Neither parent shall discuss any adult matters with the children, including but not limited to this trial or any other court-related matter. 3. The mother shall maintain no more than two dogs in her home. 4. Father shall have access to the children on alternating weekends from Thursday at 6 p.m. until Sunday at 6 p.m. on weeks two and four and Wednesday evenings in weeks when he does not have those weekends from pickup at school (or 4 p.m. when there is no school) until 7 p.m. Notwithstanding, Alyssa may [*7] opt out of her visits with her father at her election. The father shall not leave the children in the presence of his step-son, Jamie, unless an adult is in the home. 5. The parents will continue to follow the previously ordered holiday schedule.

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6. Exchanges shall occur at the mother's home but the father shall not enter the mother's home. 7. Mother shall provide father with information regarding the children's curricular and extracurricular activities so that he may attend them. Both parents shall ensure that the children attend any activities or appointments scheduled during their parenting time although mother should not schedule regularly recurring appointments during father's access time. 8. Phone communication between the parents should be restricted for emergencies and purposes regarding the children only. 9. The mother shall re-enroll Alyssa in therapy immediately. 10. Both parents shall complete a parenting program or counseling of at least 8 hours within the next 90 days. 11. The parents shall enroll in and communicate via www.OurFamilyWizzard.com. Any restriction of freedom or curtailment of the children's privileges shall be communicated on said website and shall be adhered to [*8] by the other parent. 12. Each parent shall view Alyssa's Facebook page once per week. If Alyssa is unwilling to share 100% access, she shall be denied computer and smart phone access except for use of a computer for schoolwork which shall be supervised. 13. Each parent shall communicate with one or more of Alyssa's teachers no less than once per month. 14. Neither parent shall utilize corporal punishment nor permit others to do so. 15. Each party shall be responsible for 50% of the GAL and each part's share shall be paid within 120 days. The payments and obligations referenced in these orders are intended to be family support/maintenance payments within the meaning of sections 523(a)(5) and 523(a)(15) the United States Bankruptcy Code and not dischargeable in bankruptcy. 16. In the event either party seeks to file a future motion to modify any aspect of the parenting plan, they shall be required to file a Request for Leave to Modify as provided for in Practice Book Section 25-26, as amended. 17. All other orders not inconsistent with these orders shall remain in full force and effect. Shluger , J.
Service: Citation: View: Date/Time: Get by LEXSEE 2011 Conn. Super. LEXIS 1747 Full Friday, August 12, 2011 - 5:25 PM EDT

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