God's Design for Your Family

Lesson 7
Communication: The Method of Intimacy

Goals:
● To learn God's plan for communication within families
● To identify our communication behaviors that need to be “put off.”
● To “put on” Godly communication as a daily habit

Homework
● Complete the “Barriers to Communication” Worksheets individually
● Complete the “Agreements on Remedies” Worksheet together

Bibliography
“Weekend to Remember” conference manual. FamilyLife. 2006. Revised 10/05.
Swartley, RH and AL. “RIGHT START Mentors Manual.” 1993-2004. Section 2, CWB.
“Communication and Conflict Resolution”. Marriage and Family Counseling Audio Notebook.
Biblical Counseling Center, Arlington Heights, IL.

1 of 5
I. Introduction

A. The Goal of Communication

1. Unity (intimacy)

a) Ephesians 4:25: “Therefore, having laid aside falsehood, each one of you speak the

truth with his neighbor, for we are ________________ of one another.”

b) We are united to each other in Christ.

• Romans 6:5: “for if we have become _________________ with him in the

likeness of his death, we will certainly also be _________________ in the

likeness of his resurrection.”

2. Edification: Ephesians 4:29

• You must let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but only what is

beneficial for the _______________ ________ of the one in need, that it may

give grace to those who hear.

B. Definition of Good Communication

Communication is a process, ________________ and

___________________, of expressing and receiving information and

feelings, in such a way that both parties are assured that they have been

understood.

(Right Start Mentor's Manual, RH and AL Swartley, CWB 2)

C. How Humans Communicate

1. With our physical bodies

2. With ears

3. With words

II. Physical Bodies

2 of 5
A. We cannot ______ communicate.

B. Nonverbals include:

1. posture

2. gestures

3. eye contact

4. facial expressions

5. “nervous” activities (tapping fingers, wringing hands, etc.)

6. tone of voice

7. inflection

8. volume of voice

9. appearance—including grooming

10.touch

11.listening sounds: uh-huh, hmmmm, yep...

12.Actions

C. Nonverbal communication primarily indicates __________________ and

_________________.

D. A positive message communicated with negative ____________________ will be perceived

as _____________________.

E. ____________ ____________________ is biblical. _______________________ is not.

The spouse who can pretend to be happy when he is in fact very angry is deceptive. Don't

poker-face your family.

F. Present to your family an _____________ posture and receptive ____________________.

G. Use a _________ _________________ tone of voice.

H. Giving of gifts, gleefully completing domestic responsibilities, and undivided attention are

3 of 5
 all forms of nonverbal communication. Use them generously!

III. Listening: Gaining Passport (Proverbs 18:2, 13, 15)

A. Listening earns the _______________ to speak.

B. Listening is also _______________.

C. Listening is not __________________ __________ _____ ____________ ____________

while I wait for you to stop talking.

D. Listening is also ___________________ back what was said.

E. Listening is also ___________________ before you speak.

F. Listening is also _________________ _______________________.

IV. Words, Words

A. The Power of Words (James 3:1-12)

1. The universe was created by words (Genesis 1)

2. Jesus is himself The Word (John 1)

3. God directs our lives through the written word (2 Peter 1:3-4)

4. The Word of God explores and exposes our souls (Heb 4:12-13)

5. Satan used words to deceive Eve (Gen 3:1-5)

6. Adam and Eve's words were corrupted by the Fall (Gen 3:12-13)

7. Words are a reflection of our heart (Matt 12:33-35)

8. Careless words will be judged (Matt 12:36-37)

9. Our reconciliation with God is through words (Rom 10:9)

10.Words can build a relationship or destroy a relationship (James 3)

11.Words DO things (Genesis 27:30-38)

B. We only use words when we have established the right ____________________ through

our non-verbals and active listening.

4 of 5
 C. __________________ your words carefully.

D. __________________ (Jam 4:11)

E. Communicate the way the other party _____________________.

V. Conflict Resolution

A. Build ______________ to begin with.

B. Consider ____________________ an opportunity to build unity.

C. Attack ______________________ not ______________________.

D. _________________________.

E. Train your family to be PeaceMakers. (www.hispeace.org)

F. Get the ______ out of your own _________.

5 of 5