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Kayani, Atif Exercie 1 1

Exercise 1 by Atif Hameed Kayani HBD 6771.E1 January 19, 2011

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Conflict involves an expressed struggle. Discuss two negative ways one can express a struggle and two positive ways one can express a struggle. Communication plays an important role to resolve conflicts and expressed struggles. With an effective communication one can resolve conflict or a bad communications can make conflicts worst than ever (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

Negative ways of expressing struggle

a) The negative way one can express struggle can be between friends when they both are in

discussion about politics suddenly one of them say Please stop it you do not have any idea about politics stay away from this type of discussion In this case one person is showing superiority than other which can arise a conflict between both parties.
b) Also there might be a conflict between brother and sister and they said to each other

You are a jerk I do not want to talk to you anymore. This type of struggle shows avoidance from both parties. Positive ways of expressing struggle a) Husband and wife are in conflict of buying a house. Wife wants a bigger house where as husband said smaller house will be good for us. Now they are under conflict; Wife: I wanted to buy a bigger house because my friend Susan just bought a big house. Husband: O yes we can buy a bigger house but we need money for that. And besides that we are only two people for now, so I do not think so it is a good idea to waste money in buying a big house. Wife: O yes you are right; I guess we can manage better in a small two bedroom house rather than buy a big one.

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So the conflict is resolved between husband and wife by having small healthy conversation. a) Son and mother are under a conflict about the sons graduation party: Son: Mom I wanted to call all my friends and want to give them a big party for my graduation and I need $1000 to spend for the party. Mother: O it is great that you are giving party for your graduation but I cannot afford that much money. Son: I already told my friends that I will give them huge party. Mother: Hmmm Lets do it like that I will be out of town this weekend so you can call your friend at home and I will do the cooking arrangements before I go. You can have fun at home. Son: that is so great thank you. It is very good to listen to other parties views before make a final decision.


What role do you believe communication has in conflict? A huge number of conflicts arise because of the way of our communication with others.

Unhealthy communication can help in creating conflict even in the situation where there is no real conflict issue or disagreement about an actual issue. Poor communications also causes hurt other person feelings, anger, frustration and breaking of relationships (A lot of the conflict in our, n.d.). Communication is considered as the main ingredient in all interpersonal conflict. Communication and conflict can be related in ways such as: Communication style often create

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conflict. Communication style reflects conflict. Communication can bring up effective and defective management of conflict (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).


What role does interdependence play in conflict?

Interdependence plays major role in any type of conflict. As Braiker and Kelly said that if people are not dependent on each other and has no special interest in what other person do there would be no conflict. Interdependence also is important in conflict because each person choice affects other person which helps in rising of a conflict. Schelling defines strategic conflict as a theory of incomplete antagonism. It means that parties who are engage in strategic conflict are not fully opposing others and they have mutual interests; even though the interest is in keeping the conflict going on. Without open to the other party the person still think that how he can be more benefitted with the conflict? These decisions are much more difficult when parties are not working in a straight cause-effect manner but making a series of interdependent decisions (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). Bateson presents an ecological view of patterns in a relationship which means in a true conflict parties stuck with each other. Neither of the party in a conflict makes a decision which is totally different than others. Rather the party makes a decision which affects the other conflict participants. Many of the times parties engaged in mutual interdependence with or without their interest. Interdependent units do not choose to be interdependent, but there might be some other reason which makes the conflict interdependent. For example: colleagues in an office got in conflict over receiving calls and speak with customers. One person said this is none of your business but the other person said you cannot separate us from this because when your team will not be available my team will take care of the customer service (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

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4. Conflict involves perceived incompatible goals. How do these goals work? Why is the word perceived emphasized? Perceived incompatible goals work as person wants same thing or different things. The conflict parties might be looking for same thing such as promotion in a company, one scholarship available for everyone or the attention of the parents. The people who have same goals might be struggling in order to achieve the required goals. In short both parties see their goals as incompatible because they want the same thing to achieve (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). On the other hand the goals of the person might be different than other person for example friend who wanted to eat in different restaurants might have conflict because of difference of opinions. We can also put it as roommates who wanted to move out of the dorms into apartments. They can also come under conflict as one person wants to move to expensive apartments and other person wants to move to cheaper apartments because of low income. But people have different goals can settle down at some middle place by having a mutual agreement between each other. Many of the times the goals seems to be different but the relational struggle helps them to decide. It does not matter if the person sees the goals as different or similar the perceived incompatible goals are considered as major part of any conflict (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). The word perceived is emphasized because there is a probability or imagination involved in all that will happen. There is not one single rule defined that if you will have same or difference of opinions then the specific thing will happen. The parties can encounter things which they even do not imagine or cannot think of. The perception is just a probability that if you do have conflicts then it can cause either good or bad (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

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What is a resource? Describe two examples of resources in the workplace and two examples of resources in the home. According to Miller and Steinberg resource can be defined as: Any positively perceived

physical, economic and social consequence. The resources can be real or perceived as real by the person (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). Examples of Resource in Work place: a) when person feels that the other person always do work with his or her own way without accepting other people opinions. The person think about other person as he or she had more power than him or her and the person is always being put down.
b) When person think that he or she will not cover the shift of the other person, because the

person always used him or her and pay attention whenever he or she needs a favor. The person also feels that the other person is taking advantage out of him or her (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). Examples of Resource in Home: a) When the person feel as unimportant in home and just a machine of making money and people in the home knows him or her because he or she brings money to the home. The person also doesnt want to be feeling like a looser or fool.
b) When person feels like to be humiliated at home and he or she thinks that his or her

partner is sarcastic and the person feels like to beer sarcasm anymore and the only option he or she has is to leave the home (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). 6. In a couple of paragraphs, discuss the concept of interference. Person who are interdependent, have incompatible goals, and want the same scarce resource might still not be able to fulfill the conditions for conflict. Interference is an important

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part with the help of which one can be able to meet the conditions for conflict. The presence of another person interferes with desired actions can help in strengthen of a conflict. Conflict is always related to blocking and the person who does the blocking is perceived as the problem (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). For a conflict to happen there must be some sort of interference. A person feel like having conflict when he or she feels like someone is interfering in his or her personal business. For example; conflict may arise between employer and an employee when employee wants a leave and employer do not have any other person to cover and by interfering by asking questions what you will do during the leave (Rinehart, n.d.)? 7. Create a scenario that depicts a negative escalatory conflict spiral.

David is an owner of A1 grocery Store having two employees Andrew and Adan. Andrew usually works at the front and main job is to take care of the customers and check out them. While Adan mostly work on the back and main duties includes filling up shelves and clean the store. David is not happy with Adan as he does not perform his duty well and leave the shelves empty most of the times and make store messy. David starts complaining about Adans work. a) David Says to Adan, I want you to fill up the shelves properly and clean the store on daily basis. b) Adan says I will do it tonight. (Ignore David and start doing something.) c) David became very upset after the conversation and calls to Adans friend and asks Why your friend is so lazy and messy? Did he do something at home or just sleep? d) When Adan reach home at night after work he knew about the call came to his friend which makes him really crazy. Adan decided that he will take revenge from his Boss for

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what he has done to him. So next day Adan acted crazy by leaving the shelves empty and store messier.
e) David came next day and became very angry at Adans behavior and he put a big poster

in a store My store has the most lazy and crazy employee of the world.
f) Adan read the poster and stunned at the reaction of David and start selling goods under

cost price and sometimes free to his close friends came to the store.
g) Next day David come to the store and heard from the customers that Adan is selling good

under cost and giving free stuff. He immediately call to Adan and said That is it; do not come to store in the afternoon I am going to hire another person. 8. What words do you typically associate with the word conflict? What emotions are generally coupled with the concept of conflict? The words which I will associate with conflict would be fight, discussions, and schedule meetings, listening and speaking, struggle, frustration, even hopelessness. The emotions which would be coupled with the concept of conflict are compromise, anger, harshness, and violence. 9. In a paragraph, describe what your family of origin taught you about conflict and how this has affected your approach to conflict. My family of origin taught me to handle conflict positively and know the scenario and actual matter before further go ahead into the discussion. Also it teach me to be aggressive where it is being needed and at the first place try to avoid conflict by direct conversation with the other party and try to resolve conflicts individually without putting 3rd party into it. Because there are more chance that if you involve 3rd party to resolve conflicts your relationship will became bad with the person you are under conflict. Showing anger during the conflict make the situation

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worst which could cost both parties a lot so avoid anger during the conflict and try to solve problems in smooth and soft atmosphere. I think I learned a lot with what my family origin has taught me and it help me a lot in resolving many conflicts without having any mishap. I think resolving conflicts in a positive way helps both party and one can have a long lasting relationship with his or her conflict partner by showing positive attitude during conflicts. 10. Describe five negative metaphors associated with conflict and discuss what you

would expect from a person who views conflict accordingly. Five negative metaphors associated with the conflict are as follows:

Win-Lose Metaphors: Win-Lose metaphor suggests that the result is predetermined with very little possibility that it will come with positive conflict management. The conflicts which are examined by this way are usually called distributive conflicts. In this type of conflicts usually one party wins and other loses. Also the resources are distributed unevenly among all the participants. A person brings emotions in to the conflicts because he or she thinks that they are losing more than gaining (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). Conflict is a Struggle Conflict can also be defined as a struggle. There might be a possibility that complexity and uncertainty of conflict will lead to emotions such as frustration, struggle and hopelessness. By putting a conflict with this type of metaphor emphasizes that how stressful it is and that might be the efforts one will put into conflict go worthless (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).

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Violence is Animal Behaviors Conflict also can be defines as a zoo where people put the label the other parties as stubborn group. The main characteristic of this metaphor which makes it different than others is that it is exclusive application to parties other than the one using it. In this type of metaphor people think that other parties are less-than-human and inferior. Thus these types of things create an atmosphere where meaningful conversation cannot be able to take place with mutual understanding and appreciation (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). Conflict is a Communication Breakdown It is one of the most famous names of the conflict. According to McCorkle and Mills this break down is a one way communication in which people talk with the walls or argue with someone from another planet. This breakdown can be fixed but most of times this is not fixed accurately. Also many time people communicate clearly in order to find out that they are in an intractable conflict or not. Clear communication helps a lot in improving a process of conflict management, but we cannot assume that clear communication will resolve conflict (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). Conflict is a Mess There is another image of the conflict which is being understood as a mess or garbage. Mess is usually difficult to be managed and the small mess can turn into a bigger one too. A messy conflict normally means that a mess which contains emotional attachments and is very personal. This type of metaphor brings down the creativity at very low level and imaging the conflict as it is very difficult to resolve. Conflict can be resolved easily and cleanly by putting the emotions and personal feelings behind the door of discussion room (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). In my opinion the person who sees the conflict as negative metaphors is very un-creative. That person also wants to be get hold of everything and do not want to give others anything. He

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wants to win everything. Also he might be degraded other people and do not care about other people feelings. 11. In one paragraph each; describe three positive metaphors dealing with conflict.

Conflict is a Tide Conflict and tides are considered similar in a way that both are repetitive, powerful, and inescapable. Both conflict and tide worked to advantage but not disadvantage. It is arguable that the patterns of conflict have clear perceptions as it appears to be. It is very important for the participants to understand the patterns because if they will understand the pattern it might feel less threatening. By looking at the patterns of conflicts also helps reduce the fear of uncertainty, especially in the context of intractable conflict (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). Conflict is a Dance We can see a positive image of conflict in the form of a dance. According to Lindberg in the dance participants learn his such as; how close and how far to move, slowing down and speeding up during the dance, main contact with partners and how to end it. The main idea of dancing with partners is to develop something beautiful, graceful, and inspiring that depends on each persons skill, training, and individual expression. Dance can give a characterized image of conflict on which the conflict can be build up (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). Conflict as Musical Improvisation Conflict can be seen as an art just as Jazz or drumming is an art. As we see in different kinds of music the musician always follow one soloist in different ways for example pick up theme or rhythm and extend music. Moreover the rhythm came from drumming circles

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grow out of the shared experience of the rhythm. We can have interpersonal conflict which can be just like this. For example if someone gets a good idea other people besides arguing it or introducing their own ideas just add something to the main idea or suggestion which can help a lot to reduce conflict (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).


Describe a low context culture. What are its strengths and weaknesses? How would conflict be handled?

Low context culture also called individualistic culture. In this type of culture people resolve conflicts through power or by mutual coordination. In this type of culture people discussed things and spelled out the things logically. U.S, Canada and Europe are great examples of individualistic culture. The strengths and weaknesses of this type of culture are as follows (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010): Strengths a) The people in this type of culture are analytical. b) The people in this type of culture are Action and solution oriented. c) In this type of culture people have almost equal power and have same rules for everyone. d) They do say the things what they mean it. Weaknesses a) The people think that planning is waste of time. b) The people in this type of culture rely heavily on guessing and conclusions. c) The people in this type of culture are individual oriented. The people in this type of culture do not confront each other as it seems bad and rude. The conflict usually is resolved through coordination and discussions. Also in this type of

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culture people resolve disagreements by explaining what he or she means by using power for example in competition. In individual cultures students are being taught that directness, easiness and ability to argue are the prerequisites of any conflict management (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). 13. Describe a high context culture. What are its strengths and weaknesses? How would conflict be handled? High context culture is also known as collective culture. In this type of culture there is a less verbally explicit communication and information. Also the decisions in this type of culture are made by the person who has the authority. People in this type of culture also believe in long term relationships. Knowledge in this type of culture is more situational and relational (The general terms "high context" and "low context", n.d.). Japan, China and Thailand are main examples of collective culture. Strengths a) These people are group oriented. b) The people in this type of culture are also relationship oriented. c) The collective cultures they believe that maintaining a strong group is best guarantee to individual freedom. Weaknesses a) In more collective cultures there is a difference between the words said and the actual meaning of it. b) Violation of collective expectations can help is creating conflicts.
c) People belong to Collective cultures make unclear and indirect strategies.

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The people in this type of culture usually try to avoid conflicts. Unnecessary communication is most likely to be used along with the discussions in order to resolve the conflicts and problems. Each collective culture uses a wide variety of conflicts and they teach their children how to avoid conflicts (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). 14. Briefly describe gender differences in conflict.

Gender differences in conflict can affect the behaviors and views of both the parties. The word gender usually includes both biological and social differences between men and women. The research suggests that there are clear male and female differences in approaching to conflicts. Papa and Natalle say that during laboratory exercises men usually show dominating and competitive behavior whereas women show avoidant and compromising behavior (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010). But Bjorkqvist, Osterman and Lagerspetz suggest that in real life both boy and girl use direct verbal aggression equally which means boys shows physical aggression where as girls shows indirect aggressions. One other Researcher Tannen said that women like to avoid conflicts rather than show aggression. In organization women it is expected from women to leave rather than men during any ongoing conflict (Wilmot, Hocker, 2010).


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A lot of the conflict in our(n.d.). Communication that CREATES Conflict. Retrieved January 14, 2011 from Rinehart, Susan H. (n.d.). Managing Conflict Creatively. Retrieved January 14, 2011 from

The general terms "high context" and "low context"(n.d.). High and Low Context. Retrieved January 14, 2011from Wilmot William W., Hocker Joyce (2010). Interpersonal Conflict (Eighth Edition) (pp 12-68). McGraw-Hill Companies,Inc