The 53rd Astral Convention Though it had only been a mere fifteen hundred years, the moment Jon

and Clev spotted each other, they instantly resumed their long standing friendship. Jon buddy? Clev! How have you been? Pretty good, and you? Cant complain of course it wouldnt help if I did, Jon replied. Clev chuckled in unison with Jon and then asked, Are you here for the conventi on? Sure enough and you? I wouldnt miss it in the universe. In fact I havent missed one for the last fi fteen or so. Though I dont recall seeing you here before? Yeah, this is my first convention, Jon answered. Really? Dont you get any communications out your way? Where were you from oh yea h, out there in the privy sector, wasnt it? Jon frowned at the deliberate jab from Clev. He replied with a sullen, Private Sector Clev, its called the Private Sector. Just kidding you buddy. It is good to see yah. I still remember how you skip ped that asteroid across that big nebula, fun times. They sure were, Jon replied. I see you have changed your astral mock-up since the last time I saw you, Yeah, I like to be different from time to time. That smoky blue color suits you, Clev complimented. I see you are still wearing red? Yeah, it is still my favorite color. Jon and Clev reached the entrance of the convention between two pale yellow m oons where a few dozen stood in line. While Jon and Clev patiently waited they noticed a gap in the line ahead of them and soon heard the gate keeper shout. Hey, you there! Dont you pull that invisible crap here? No body, no astral pro jection, no service! In the blank area of the line a purplish astral body winked on. And that goes for the rest of you clowns, while youre here at the convention, r egister your bodies and dont let them wonder around without supervision. You can attend with only an astral body, but no one is allowed to go blank while you are attending. If you do, it is a communications code violation! Clev added in a low whisper, They get stricter and stricter every year. It wasnt too long before the two were cleared to enter the convention grounds w here they were handed the three year program guide. Say, what are you interested in? Clev asked. Gosh, I dont rightly know. I thought Id just look around and see what peaks my in terest. I heard a whole new solar system is opening up this week. I think they call the sun sol. There is supposed to be this rad looking planet called Earth. They sa y someone threw a rock too far and it hit the planet causing all these creepy lo oking lizard animals to die off. Now they say some really interesting and cute l ooking furry things are taking over. I think I will go check out the registrati on booth. Want to come along? Clev asked. Nah, you go ahead, I think I am just going to soak in the place for a while. Ok buddy, Ill see you at the opening ceremonies and banquet dinner then? Oh, yeah sure Ill be there, Jon answered. He watched as his friend Clev disappeare d among the throngs of convention goers. He had never seen such a crowd in such a small space. It seemed strange to him somehow. That was one reason he lived w ay out beyond the rim of this galaxy. As far as Jon was concerned, as soon as h e could see a solar system being built nearby, well, it was time to move further out. It was also why he had not attended a convention. But, he had to admit th at being alone; living out in the boonies was also a prescription for boredom. H e missed his mischievous days of youth. Playing hide and seek among the stars, c reating super novas and other fun things. He started to stroll down the long stretch of Milky-Way booths, stopping for short periods of time to see what was being offered. He notice there were so ma

ny body shops opening up of one kind or another, selling everything from the exo tic to the bizarre. There was the sensation plaza where Jon sampled the feeling of horror. It seemed too strong for his pallet. He just couldnt understand why an yone would like be scared out of their wits. Obviously the sexual sensation boot h was a big hit. The line to that booth went out and wrapped around a nearby pla net and down to the next solar system. Everybody seemed to be talking about sex these days. By the time he had strolled halfway down the main artery, he heard the giant time piece in the square chime four times. It reminded him that the banquet and opening ceremonies were about to start and that he had better get back to the gr eat celestial hall where the event was to take place. Jon found Clev all a flutter about how he had staked a claim with some area ca lled the Orient on the new planet of Earth. He pulled out a bolt of read cloth with golden trim. In the middle was a golden dragon spitting fire. What do you think? Great huh? I designed it myself. I am going to wrap my body in this amazing sheer and smooth material. They say little tiny white worms make this stuff. Gosh, it is going to be so much fun building the area up. I think I will have a great big wall made. What do you think? Jon didnt know what to think he just nodded in approval and continued to make h is way to the banquet section of the hall. Gee, just wait until my body sees this. Hes got these funny slit type eyes and a long goatee. I think he will look just supper in this stuff, Clev added. They eventually found a couple spare seats midway between the ceremony stage a nd the far end of the hall. The hall was huge, nearly a light year long. Bowls o f food began to appear on the table and Jon remarked, Gee, if Id known they were g oing to serve real food, I would have brought my body along. No need, a voice from a stranger who sat next to Jon interjected. Just reach out and take in the vibes. You get all the flavors and sensations of the dish witho ut adding a single pound to your astral waist line. Jon and Clev chuckled. The thought of astral bodies gaining weight was funny. Perhaps bodies did, but certainly not projections. The dish in front of Jon gave off a hot prickly sensation. Jon let out a, Oooh thats kind of spicy. If that upsets your constitution, stay away from the five alarm volcano chili, T he stranger added which caused another eruption of laughter among many of the ne arby participants. Jon smiled. It occurred to him that he was having a great time, despite being sardined between dozens of strangers at a table. He sat back and took in the si ght and sounds of many other beings having a good time. One particular conversat ion to his left caught his attention. By the way George, I guess a congratulations is in order on your being success ful in committing suicide. Thanks. Sure isnt easy knocking off a body. You dont realize how much you have i nvested in them. It kind of goes against the whole being protective urges you kno w. Another, wearing an orange projection leaned forward and added, Yeah, but does nt it feel good to just smack the little buggers every once in a while? Huh? A fourth chimed in and added, Well isnt that why we have war games? I mean let s omeone else blow it up. As long as you can say you didnt do it. George replied, I dont know about that, it seems kind of a cheap way out. I mean , I picked up the thing, I should be the one to get rid of it. Jon thought the discussion was fascinating. He soon found himself being by-pa ssed as he noticed a couple of the hovering bowls had moved on past him. He sam pled the third bowl which approached and found it to be mildly sweet with a text ure of crunchiness. The bowls began to settle down onto the table as bright spo t lights lit up the stage. A figure in brilliant white stepped into the spot li ght and in a thunderous voice announced, Hello, and welcome to the 53rd annual As tral Convention! This years motto is, Be all you can be. A loud applause roared and thundered, although Jon could not see anyone actua lly applauding.

Clev leaned over to Jon and added in a whisper, Thats JC, hes the MC this year. What does JC stand for? Jon asked. Heck if I know, no one knows, but they say he can handle over a hundred bodies at the same time. Maybe J stands for juggler, Clev jested. Hes a real big shot tho ugh, him and the rest of them snow white projectionists. They always get the be st seats in the house too. Jon watch in amazement as the MC introduced a variety of entertainment. I hope they dont have that vanishing act, like they did last year. Cripes anyon e can wink off, Clev remarked. The show was filled with exploding novae and crashing planets and other specta cular effects. Jon thought it was fun to see giant planets made to nestle insid e big expansive rings and planets being stripped of their atmospheres which woul d make the surface turn from a blue and green to a dusty lifeless brown. There was huge thunderous applause as the performers winked off in unison fol lowed by the crowd rising up out of their seats. Clev slapped his red thighs and said, Well, thats over, lets go down to the Moon Light bar and have a night cap before we go back home to the old ball and chain . Jon nodded his head. He smiled at the way Clev made such a colloquial phrase when referring about going back to the Star light motel where theyre bodies laid. Sometimes Jon had to agree that having a body was a pain in the well his project ed body part. They soon found themselves waiting for their Moon Shine swill at the bar. A giant full pale white moon slowly rose behind the bar. To Jons left wa s the guy who he had seen at the banquet in an orange projection. They looked o ver each other. Above them and across the backside of the bar was a sign which r ead, Do you know where your body is tonight? Im Buck. So where is your body? he asked. Back at the Star Light sleeping. Plum tuckered out too. And yours? Buck darkened to a burnt orange and replied. Lost the darn thing in the recent galactic war in sector twelve. The third one this month! I keep telling myself, Burt, just stop playing war games you know. Then I hear the trumpets blare and the call to arms and bang, the next thing you know I got another body burned to a crispy critter or blown into a thousand pieces. Burt took a swig of his drink and added, They call it P.W.S. Prior War Syndrome. Just cant help myself I guess. Thats why I am here. They say there is a new ther apy for it. Its called planetary life. Ever heard of it? No, cant say I have. But, then I dont get out much, I live out in the private se ctor, Jon replied. Oh, one of them Only Ones huh, the rugged individualist out on the cusp of a gal axy. Well, boy you can have that. Give me the bright lights of the middle of a galaxy any day. I even got one of them implants to remind me to stay here. Al though, sometimes I dont know where here is supposed to be. Jon looked at Burt as a bit of a mixed up fellow. He didnt want to use crazy, maybe just a bit star struck. Well Clev, Burt, it has been nice seeing you but my body is waking up and I had better get myself home Will I see you tomorrow? Clev asked. Quite frankly I think I have seen enough, Jon replied. Ill be heading back to my o ld Private sector. Well ok, buddy, but youll be missing the comet tail pull and the planet making workshop Not to mention the female body competition, Burt interjected and then made a la rge belch. Jon and Clev chuckled over Burts loud burp before Jon stood up and winked away to the Star light motel. The North Star was brilliantly silhouetting the cotton ball like cloud where he had left his beloved body which he had affectionately named, Clyde. Clyde was a rather gaunt looking male body with big blue saucer e yes and a sharp chin and nose. Jon carefully picked up the snoring body and carried it gently back to the Pr ivate sector, where he laid it down on his nearby home planet. In a snort and s

putter Jons body began to stir and Jon rushed to embrace him. Now back as a conglomerate life form Clyde stretched and yawned. He looked aro und and inspected his residence. Something seemed different, something seemed a bit strange to him. He had a hankering for something slightly spicy to eat and couldnt shake a bizarre dream of sitting at a long table with dozens of people an d hearing the strangest thing being said. Congratulations of your committing suicide, were the words. Clyde shook his h ead and remarked, Gee the mind can sure play tricks on a guy.