COME VISIT FOR A WEEKEND!

V ’œ’’—ȱŠŠ•Ž—ȱ˜••ŽŽȱ’œȱŠ—ȱŽœœŽ—’Š•ȱ™Š›ȱ˜ȱ‘ŽȱŠ–’œœ’˜—œȱ™›˜ŒŽœœǯȱȱž›’—ȱ
¢˜ž›ȱŸ’œ’ǰȱ¢˜žȱ ’••ȱ‘ŠŸŽȱ‘Žȱ˜™™˜›ž—’¢ȱ˜ȱŠĴŽ—ȱŒ•ŠœœŽœǰȱŽ—“˜¢ȱœ˜Œ’Š•ȱŠŒ’Ÿ’’Žœǰȱ
–ŽŽȱŠŒž•¢ȱŠ—ȱœŠěǰȱŠ—ȱ‘ŠŸŽȱŠȱ™Ž›œ˜—Š•ȱŸ’œ’ȱ ’‘ȱŠ—ȱ–’œœ’˜—œȱ˜ž—œŽ•˜›ǯȱȱ

VISITOR WEEKENDS 2008 - 2009

OCTOBER 9 - 12 Fall Foliage Festival Weekend

ĴŽ—ȱ‘ŽȱŜŗœȱ——žŠ•ȱŠ›—Ž›ȱŠ••ȱ˜•’ŠŽȱŽœ’ŸŠ•ȱ
’—ȱ‘Žȱ˜ —ȱŒŽ—Ž›ȱ˜ȱŠ›—Ž›

DECEMBER 4 - 7 Boston Concert Weekend

›ŠŸŽ•ȱ ’‘ȱ‘Žȱ˜••ŽŽȱ˜ȱ˜œ˜—Ȃœȱ‘’œ˜›’Œȱ¢–™‘˜—¢ȱ

Š••ȱ˜ȱ‘ŽŠ›ȱ‘Žȱ’—Ž›—Š’˜—Š••¢ȱŠŒŒ•Š’–Žȱ
Š—Ž•ȱŠ—ȱȱ

Š¢—ȱ˜Œ’Ž¢ȱ™Ž›˜›–ȱ
Š—Ž•ȂœȱMessiah

ȱśȱȬȱŞ Ski Weekend

˜’—ȱœžŽ—œȱ˜›ȱŠȱŠ¢ȱ˜ȱœ”’’—ȱŠ—ȱœ—˜ ‹˜Š›’—ȱ
˜—ȱ‘Žȱœ•˜™Žœȱ˜ȱŠȂœȱŽŠ”ȱ”’ȱŽœ˜›

ȱŘřȱȬȱŘŜ Drama Weekend

ŽŽȱ‘ŽȱŠŠ•Ž—ȱ˜••ŽŽȱ›Š–ŠȱŒ•ž‹ǰȱ‘Žȱǯȱ Ž—Žœ’žœȱ
•Š¢Ž›œǰȱ™Ž›˜›–ȱ’œȱ–Š“˜›ȱ‘ŽŠ›’ŒŠ•ȱ™›˜žŒ’˜—ȱ˜ȱ‘Žȱ
¢ŽŠ›

To reserve a space or to schedule a personal visit, please contact

Celebrating
35 Years
‘Žȱ–’œœ’˜—œȱĜŒŽDZ admissions@magdalen.edu of Academic, Spiritual, Social,
or Toll Free: 877.498.1723
& Moral Excellence

Magdalen College
Preparation for Life

.($56$5*(02817$,152$':$51(51+‡72//)5((‡:::0$*'$/(1('8
THE MAGAZINE OF CATHOLIC LIVING NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008

DEPARTMENTS FEATURES
4 EDITORS’ NOTE 27 Simply Joyous!
Christmas Giving ... and our asking. Daria Sockey on moms who
keep Christmas merry, on a
6 HOMEWORK
Readers find simple moments this budget.
Christmas season.
31 Debt Is the Real Grinch
9 THE HOME FRONT Phil Lenahan maps out a
Food, home, self, and money plan for getting your finan- Page 31
helps for better living. cial life back.
13 FAITH & CULTURE
Peace to what ‘men of good will’? 35 How the Boy Found
Christmas
15 FAMILY MIND GAMES Tom Hoopes saw his own
Share Christmas memories. Start private Dec. 25 in The
Page 9 with our quiz. Miracle of Saint Nicholas.
16 PARTY PLANNERS
45 In the Bleak Midwinter
Yellow-brick-road birthday.
Claudia Rossetti’s
18 THE INSIDER Christmas song, set to
Keeping Christ in Christmas, all through the house. pictures.
21 MARRIAGE MATTERS
61 Connected
Son’s failure to launch triggers family explosion.
Rachel Swenson Page 45
39 THE SEASON Balducci of Faith and
Year-end feasts and prayer for the Family LIVE! clicks with
dead. other bloggers.

57 EVERYDAY APOSTLES 91 40 Gifts for Under $40

Faith in, and on, the big screen.
67 MY FAITH AND FAMILY
Catholic moviemaker creates
windows into the eternal.
Cutting back this year?
Check out our low-cost gift
ideas.

Page 57 70 WHAT’S COOKING Page 91

Don’t fret extra guests. Make it
simple. ON THE COVER

80 ENTERTAINMENT
Gift ideas for everyone on your list.
Simply Christmas
106 THE BONUS ROOM
Bring joy into your life. 91 40 Gifts Under $40
67 Catholic Moviemaker
109 SPIRITUAL DIRECTIONS
31 Chase Away the Debt
Alimony payback time.
Grinch
110 THE PLAYROOM 70 11 Recipes: Feast Without
Families, saints, Umbert, and Fret
chocolate Christmas. 21 Holiday Family Meltdown

112 THE BACK PORCH

Page 70 Sanctifying plastic junk. Cover: iStock.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 3
FROM THE EDITORS
FAITH &FAMILY
THE MAGAZINE OF CATHOLIC LIVING

PUBLISHER

Christmas Giving Father Owen Kearns, LC

EDITORIAL DIRECTORS
Tom and April Hoopes
April: If you’re like me, you hate the times when you switch the channel to NPR to hear ART DIRECTOR
commercial-free news, and hear a plea for money instead. Carolyn McQuarters
You might not mind in this case. This editors’ note is one of those times where you SENIOR EDITOR

tune in and hear about how much money an organization needs. But we won’t interrupt Danielle Bean
your normal content, and we suspect quite a few readers will welcome the chance to help ASSISTANT EDITOR
Robyn Lee
in the great work Faith & Family does.
DESIGN ASSISTANT
Tom: Catholics tend to be glad to be generous with efforts like Faith & Family maga- Lynne Hardt
zine and Faith & Family Live! (FaithandFamilyLIVE.com). We are a non-profit 501(c)(3) STAFF WRITERS
organization that provides formation in the faith in an affordable way to as many people Tim Drake, Joseph Pronechen
as we can. Our team hears often from readers who have been helped enormously. We CONTRIBUTING EDITOR

depend on the generosity of those who can give more to help us stay affordable to those
who can’t.
To be precise (and Mike Lambert, our development director, told us to be precise), we
have a $200,000 yearly shortfall between what we take in from your subscriptions plus
advertiser revenue, and what we pay out to writers, designers, artists, photographers,
printers, and, above all, postal services.
I suppose in some businesses $200,000
isn’t much. In ours it is. It’s like a new
house we have to buy and pay for each year
from donations alone.
April: Yes, but that’s not as impossible as
it seems. Think of it this way: If we found
200 people (among our tens of thousands
of subscribers) who could give us $1,000
each, then we’d be fine.
I couldn’t spare that much. Perhaps you
can’t either. So, think of it this way: If we
had 20,000 of our subscribers each giving
Mission Magazine: Last Thanksgiving we found $100 each ($20 a month for five months),
Rebecca Teti
COPY EDITORS
Tom and Lynn Wehner
SENIOR WRITERS
Lori Hadacek Chaplin, Tim Drake,
Susie Lloyd, Daria Sockey
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Rachel Swenson Balducci, Celeste Behe,
Grace Behe, Fr. Juan-Diego Brunetta, OP,
Simcha Fisher, Fr. Richard Gill, LC,
Susan Haggerty, Wayne Laugesen,
Phil Lenahan, Maryan Vander Woude,
Mary Sheehan Warren, Kate Wicker,
Health Adviser: Mary Jane K. DiMattio
ADVERTISING DIRECTOR
Eileen Schreck
ADVERTISING SALES
Michelle Kopfmann, Alex Kubik,
Debbie Paxson, Christina Bousfield
ADVERTISING / PRODUCTION
Debbie Aguiar, David Pascarelli
PRODUCTION DIRECTOR

Faith & Family in a tiny California mission. we would have enough. Joseph Hilliman
From what Mike tells us, we will have MARKETING / CIRCULATION

many subscribers willing to give $1,000, but probably not 200 of them. And we’ll have
plenty of people willing to give $100, but not 20,000.
What we have to settle for, then, is a good mix of both — and folks who fall some-
where in between.
Tom: So, please join in. April and I will personally pledge to do more than the $100
for Faith & Family, and we ask you to help, too, at whatever level you can. Contact:
Mike Lambert, Development Director
432 Washington Avenue
North Haven, CT 06473
(800) 356-9916 ext. 3805
FaithandFamilyLIVE.com (click “Donate”)
April: Please, also, join us in the prayer we pray every night as part of our family
Rosary: “For the National Catholic Register and Faith & Family magazine, that God will
bring more and more readers closer to him through them, and bless their staffs.”
Thanks! We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.
Tom and April Hoopes, Editorial Directors
4 To subscribe call (800) 421-3230
Vincine Franchilli, David Lee,
Debra Denhart
CUSTOMER SERVICE
Vivian Santilli
CIRCLE MEDIA, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
Brendan McCaffery
PUBLISHING CONSULTANT
Angelo Matera
Subscription Rates: $17.95 per year domestic; Canada
$29.95 (in U.S. funds); individual copies, $4.50 in
U.S.A., $6.00 (in U.S. funds) in Canada. Periodicals
postage paid at New Haven, CT, and at additional mail-
ing offices. Faith & Family (ISSN-1099-923X) is pub-
lished bi-monthly by Circle Media Inc, with editorial and
business offices at 432 WASHINGTON AVENUE,
NORTH HAVEN, CONN. 06473. FOR ADVER-
TISING INQUIRIES, telephone (800) 356-9916
extension 3821. For subscription and billing
inquiries, telephone (800) 421-3230. Please
include the address label from this issue with all address
changes. Send payments and any other subscription cor-
respondence to: Faith & Family, P.O. Box 369, Mt.
Morris, IL 61054-0369.
POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Faith & Family,
P.O. Box 369, Mt. Morris, IL 61054-0369. The editors
assume no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or
photographs, which must be accompanied by a properly
sized, self-addressed, stamped envelope if the material
is to be returned. Copyright © 2006 by Circle Media Inc.
Publications Mail Agreement No: 40038153. Return
Undeliverable Canadian Addresses to Circulation Dept.
or DPGM 4960-2 Walker Road, Windsor, ON N9A 6J3
Health and lifestyle items are provided for informational
purposes only and are not meant to be a substitute for
advice provided by your own physician or other medical
professionals.
www.faithandfamilymag.com

SPECIAL FEATURES
16 page booklet by Carl E.
Olson with study questions,
biography of Blessed John
XXIII, and resource list
Special documentary film
with renowned Catholic
historian James Hitchcock
and Fr. Mitch Pacwa, S.J.,
on Blessed John XXIII and
Vatican II.
New Catholic Films
F R O M I G N AT I U S P R E S S
Clare and Francis SPECIAL FEATURES
16 page booklet by Tim
F rom Italian film company Lux Vide, the producers of Maria Goretti
and St. John Bosco, comes this new epic feature film on the lives of
St. Clare and St. Francis of Assisi. Shot on location in Italy, stars Mary
Drake with study ques-
tions, biographies of St.
Clare and St. Francis, and
Petruolo and Ettore Bassi give inspiring and moving performances resource list
as Clare, the daughter of a patrician family, and Francis, the son of Behind the scenes fea-
a rich merchant, who leave all to follow Christ. Both founded major turette and a special
religious orders and together they inspired many to follow their radi- “Making of Clare and
Francis” featurette with
cal call to live the Gospel. English and Italian language, Spanish & Franciscan Fr. Raniero
English subtitles. Cantalamessa, Preacher to
j CF-M . . . 200 mins., $24.95
the Papal Household
John XXIII The Pope of Peace
F rom the makers of Pope John Paul II and Saint Rita comes this inspir-
ing feature film on Blessed Pope John XXIII starring Ed Asner. Shot
on location in Italy, this movie tells the whole life story of John XXIII
from his youth to the papacy. Elected supposedly as an “interim Pope”
who would just keep the status quo and listen to the advisers around
him, John XXIII proved to be his own man when he surprised the
Church and world by calling for the Second Vatican Council. Also stars
Claude Rich, Sydne Rome, Massimo Ghini and Franco Interlenghi.
English and Italian language, Spanish & English subtitles.
j J23-M . . . 200 mins., $24.95
Pope Benedict XVI A Love Affair with the Truth
T he first in-depth biographical documentary film on the life of Pope Benedict XVI, from his child-
hood in Bavaria, Germany to his papacy as the Vicar of Christ. It includes unique film footage of
his youthful days, his ordination to the priesthood, his consecration as Bishop, elevation to Cardinal, his
work as head of the CDF and a close colleague of Pope John Paul II, his election as Pope, and what he
has accomplished so far in his first three years of his papacy. This film reveals the real Joseph Ratzinger,
a man who always sought and loved the truth, and has combined a brilliant mind with the pastoral heart
of a shepherd in love with his flock. Includes Bonus Feature film footage of the highlights of the Pope’s
recent visit to the USA. j PBLA-M . . . 56 mins., $19.95
WWW.IGNATIUS.COM • 1-800-651-1531
P.O. BOX 1339, FT. COLLINS, CO 80522
HOMEWORK

Simple Moments ized that there has been a different time
in my life when I have been able to
answer A, B, or C. Currently, as a stay-at-
home mom of three children, keeping up
with who is where when, mixing in a few
committees and a Bible study, in addition
to all the errands that keep a family of
five operating smoothly, you can guess I
have plenty of opportunity in my day to
be late. However, I have found I was
without a response that best fits; there-
fore I offer you a Choice D.
For us that means: Wake up each day
knowing all your “to-do list” has in store,
but realize God’s plan for your day is full
of opportunity for touch points and
grace! Of course, being on time is both
respectful and courteous. To accomplish
your day you may forgo a task or two
until another day or possibly be five min-
utes late. Build gaps in your schedule and
enjoy the community of faith of which we
are all a part.
SUZANNE CHAIKOWSKY
Jackson, Tennessee

Junior Hostess Do WHAT? Simple Suppers

My 7-year-old daughter, Angelina,
created this Santa appetizer all on her
own. She used vegetables to create an
edible Santa vegetable platter. This is a
great way to engage the kids in holiday
food preparation.
LAURA DINORCIA
Evergreen, Colorado
Advent Planner
A few years ago I purchased a book
that helped me to rediscover the impor-
tance of Advent. I had tabbed page after
page and knew this year would be differ-
ent for our family. As Christmas drew
closer, I began to feel frustrated at the
lack of peace I felt. What had I done
wrong? Each activity was perfectly planned
and prepared.
I had proceeded on my own, with
Post-It notes, a to-do list, and a daily
planner.
This year we will pray first, preparing
our hearts for Advent with a novena to
the Holy Spirit.
JENNIFER ANDERSON
Omaha, Nebraska
Later Days
I had to giggle to myself as I took “The
Tardiness Quiz” (Sept./Oct. 2008). I real-
HOMEWORK
Here’s where to send us your stuff:
Faith & Family Homework
432 Washington Ave.
North Haven, CT 06473
Homework@FaithandFamilyLive.com
Fax (203) 230-3838
We asked readers: “What’s your favorite last-minute, no-time-or-energy dinner — that
isn’t take-out?”
• Breakfast! Pancakes, egg burritos, French toast or eggs with ham, cheese, etc.
• Brown some sausage in a pan with olive oil, garlic, and black pepper. Boil ziti or other pasta
as directed. When the pasta is done, pour the sausage and olive oil over it. Serve with bread.
• I freeze my spaghetti sauce. On a busy night, I pull sauce from the freezer, boil noodles, make
a salad, and butter some bread.
• I always keep a bag of Ling Ling Chicken/Veggie potstickers (from Costco) in my freezer. I
throw them in to boil, toss a salad, and crack open a few cans of mandarin oranges. Fast and
yummy.
• I make vegetarian chili. Heat a can of black beans, a can of kidney beans, a can of tomato
sauce, and a can of “zesty” diced tomatoes, plus some frozen corn. Just a few minutes on the
stove!
• I make BLTs. Brown some bacon, slice a tomato, and add a few lettuce leaves. It’s easy to
accommodate picky eaters (leave off the tomato), or hearty eaters (add extra bacon and toma-
toes). With a side of sliced fruit and milk, it makes a balanced meal.
• Tacos! Heat a can of black beans in a pan. Heat one package of tortillas in the microwave. Fill
tortillas with beans, sour cream, shredded cheese, diced tomatoes, taco sauce, salsa, gua-
camole, onions, and lettuce. For a side dish, I add boxed Spanish rice.
Say WHAT? Tactful Teaching
We asked readers: “What if someone misstates Church teaching in your presence — but
only in passing — as part of a different subject of conversation. How do you correct it?”
• “I’m sorry you feel that way, but that’s not my understanding of what the Church teaches.”
Then I wait to see if their reply invites discussion.
• “Wait, where did you hear that? Is it even true? Let’s look it up in the Catechism!”
• “That’s new to me. Can you clarify?” Sometimes it’s just a misunderstanding.
• I respond nicely, but right away and right to the point, in front of anyone else who heard the
misstatement. It’s not always comfortable, but it’s an act of mercy to correct those who have
been led astray. As a confirmed Catholic, it is my duty to defend the Church.
• “I’ve heard that before, but Father Joe tells me that’s not true. Thank goodness we have the
Catechism to help us figure these things out.”
Homework: For the March/April 2009 issue, send answers to these questions:
Do What? What’s your system for switching over wardrobes (from winter to summer) and for storing
children’s clothing?
Say What? What do you do if your kids ask you why they can’t participate in an activity you don’t
approve of — right in front of parents who are allowing their kids to do the illicit thing?

6 FAITH & FAMILY

is within reach at
 HOME
the

front
What’s red and white and tied with a bow? Turn the page and see!
PHOTO: SHUTTERSTOCK.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 9
HOMEfrontthe

NUTRITION BY Danielle

8 Ways to Avoid Holiday Weight Gain

Party Plan
Attending a Christmas party doesn’t have to blow your goal of
healthy eating. Here’s a plan:
• Eat first. To avoid overeating, have a high-protein, low-sugar
snack like nuts, whole grain crackers, or low fat yogurt to sat-
isfy your hunger before attending a holiday party.
• Alternate. For every alcoholic drink you consume, drink at
least one large glass of water.
• Bring your own. Offer to help the hostess by bringing along
some food you prepare — a health-conscious alternative like
hummus with pita chips or a veggie platter with low fat dip.
Other guests will be grateful for the option!
• Just say No. Will Great Aunt Gertie really die if you don’t
ingest a dozen of her traditional Honey Choco Rum Balls? Have
just one, savor the flavor, and shower her with compliments.
,
Burn em
Make up for those inevitable extra holiday calories by also
indulging in some fun ways to keep moving.
• Hit the mall. The old advice of parking as far away from the
store as possible and power walking your way to the entrance
is a good idea. For even more exercise, though, try shopping
early in the morning so that crowds won’t inhibit your keep-
ing a brisk pace inside the mall.
• Get outdoors. Outdoor activities are a great stress-reducer
— something most moms need this time of year. Go for a
walk with the dog or the kids, build a snowman, or gather
friends for an evening of caroling.
• Clean house. Company coming? Now is the perfect time
to scrub the shower, sweep the floors, vacuum the carpets,
and race from room to room in a wild calorie-burning fit of de-
cluttering.
Sweet Treat
Try this quick and easy dip with an assortment of fruit dip-
pers for a sweet treat that’s low fat and nutritious:
Festive Fruit Dip
8 ounces low fat cream cheese, softened
8 ounces jarred marshmallow cream (Fluff)
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
Beat all ingredients together until well blended. Serve with
strawberries, pineapple chunks, and apple slices for dipping. — Visit Danielle at DanielleBean.com

GIFT OF STYLE
SELF Blue makes your mother’s eyes sparkle, but you
BY Mary

can’t remember if she still wears a size 14. Your sister

loves those baby doll tops, but you’re not sure if she’s
into Pucci prints, fluid florals, or subtle solids. A gift is
surely an expression of love, but a fashion gift can spark
an unwanted series of quandaries.
Resist buying garments as Christmas gifts for the
women you love. Rather, give them the gift of
style by finding for them the perfect version
of any one of the suggestions below. After all,
Christmas is about giving and loving
and not about the stress that comes
with guessing a woman’s size, body
type, or taste. Consider:
off-price stores such as T.J. Maxx or Marshalls.
Cabelas.com is also a great source for more hard-
working winter gloves.
• a monogrammed small bag — for
cosmetics or travel. A traditional lug-
gage store like Kaehler will mono-
gram for free.
• a coordinated set of combs and
brushes from Sally Beauty Supply
(SallyBeauty.com).
• a metal business card holder
embellished with something that
might be special to her (like a
purse or a golf club). Off-price
PHOTOS: SILK SCARVES, SHUTTERSTOCK;

• a glorious winter scarf in her best stores such as Steinmart,

colors. Look for it in a boutique or Marshalls, or T.J. Maxx carry delightful versions.
VEGETABLES, JUPITER IMAGES.

department store she loves but can’t nor-
mally afford.
• a breathtaking shawl in her best col-
ors. Inquiries for silk and wool versions
(imported from India) can be made at
SilknMore.net.
• a well-made pair of winter gloves. Try
• a gift certificate to an eating establishment in a
shopping district or mall. Then, tell her that it is only to
be used on a day the two of you go shopping together.
• a book on style or a history of fashion. (My book,
It’s So You! Fitting Fashion to Your Life just happens to
fit the bill!) Sign and date it for her.
— Visit Mary at MarySheehanWarren.com

10 FAITH & FAMILY

 Make Your Table Tops
Dressing up your holiday table need not be
expensive or complicated. These easy ideas HOME
make merry for less.
Tablecloth A tablecloth adds instant drama to your table setting.
You can gussy up an older tablecloth by sewing large jingle bells
to its corners. Make it sparkle by throwing on some holiday glit-
ter before setting out the plates.
Centerpiece For a last-minute way to dress up your holiday table
without resorting to buying expensive flowers, look no further
than the classic candy cane. A handful of candy canes displayed in a large glass jar or vase
and adorned with a piece of greenery or wrapped with a matching ribbon makes a lovely
centerpiece or table accent.
Napkins Tie napkins with pretty Christmas fabric scraps or ribbons and tuck in a miniature
candy cane. Or use floral wire to secure a sprig of greenery or holly to each folded napkin.
Favors For a unique
personal touch, set a
miniature frame featur-
ing Christmas photos
or printed quotations at
each place. Try the 1.5-
inch mini frames from
ForeverWedStore.com
($9 for 12).

Never Miss Year-end Tax Tips

a Deal With the end of the year fast approaching, now is the time
to consider making some smart moves to save you money in
MONEY
Before you shop online or
2009.
at the mall, log on to The
• Be generous. Christmas is a natural time of year for chari-
Bargainist (Bargainist.com)
table giving. If you itemize your taxes, last-minute dona-
to find the latest special
tions of cash or items to qualified charities can also add
deals, offers, coupons, and
up to a hefty tax deduction. If you give cash, use your
freebies from hundreds of
credit card instead of a check to ensure the payment
PHOTOS: HOUSE, NAPKINS, MOTHER AND SON, SHUTTERSTOCK;

retailers. You can browse

goes through before the end of the year. If you
deals by stores or by catego-
donate items, be sure to ask the recipient for a
ry. Named one of Time mag-
letter stating the estimated value of the donat-
azine’s top websites of
ed goods.
2006, The Bargainist also
• Prepay. Paying your January mortgage pay-
CANDY CANES, PROVIDED BY MAGIC CABIN.

features practical articles on

ment in December will give you one more month
controlling debt, saving
of interest to deduct from your 2008 taxes. If you
money, and handy gift
have large, regular medical bills, you can pay
guides. You can even have
these ahead too and deduct the cost.
the latest deals sent to your
• Buy big. If you deduct your state sales tax
email account — a busy
instead of state income tax, buying a big-ticket
shopper’s best friend!
item at the end of the year can yield a large deduc-
tion. If you are planning to buy a new car any-
way, buying it in December will
allow you to benefit from its
purchase on your 2008 tax return.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008J
11
 Your Faith… Your Family… Our Mission
Family Activities
to Celebrate
the Joyous Season

Advent
Wreaths
Boxed
Card Sets

Custom Rosaries • Sacrifice Beads

Handmade Religious Jewelry
Statuary • Spanish Gifts
Windchimes • Crosses & Crucifixes
Baptism • Confirmation • Wedding
First Communion • Advent
Free Shipping on Internet Orders over $50.00
(Within the Continental U.S. only)

Fishers of Men Rosary

Exclusively by Lumina Gifts
Jesus said to them, “Come after me,
and I will make you fishers of men.”
Mark 1:17

This exclusive rosary is handmade primarily of genuine fishing components.

The cord is genuine nylon fishing cord, the beads are tin split shot sinkers
(lead-free), and the ichthus charm is attached with a swivel clip. The center
was special-made for this rosary and shows Jesus calling the fishermen. Best Selling Gift Item

www.luminagifts.com 888.8LUMINA (858.6462)

 Faith&Culture
What ‘Men of
Good Will’?
Gossip, Slander
and the Eighth
Commandment
BY REBECCA RYSKIND TETI
THE ANGELS SANG peace on earth to men
of good will, but what is good will?
This summer, new evidence proved
definitively that JonBenet Ramsey’s par-
ents had nothing to do with her assault
and murder. The truth eventually will
come out, but in this case not before the
grieving mother had gone to her death of
cancer with her heart twice broken: her
little girl gone and her own name tainted
with dark suspicions.
On what basis did most of the country
think ill of the Ramseys? How many of us
knew them personally enough to make a
sound evaluation of their character?
Who had firsthand knowledge of the
police investigation so as to distinguish
fact from allegation in the press? No
more than a handful of people at best.
The rest of us, if we’re honest, drew
our conclusions from the endlessly re-
run photos we saw of little JonBenet in
heavy make-up for a beauty pageant. We
the people disapproved, and made a wild-
ly inappropriate leap of logic. That’s
called rash judgment, and it is formal co-
operation in a lie.
PHOTOS: BOTTOM, CORBIS; TOP, SHUTTERSTOCK.
It’s easy to understand the responsibili-
ty speakers have to tell the truth. We re-
sent being misled. The Catechism of the
Catholic Church (No. 2477) lists under
sins against the Eighth Commandment
both calumny — the lie outright — and
detraction, which is exposing another
person’s faults without just cause.
We know we shouldn’t gossip, that an-
other person’s news, good or ill, is usually
not ours to tell.
What is less obvious is that hearers,
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
too, have obligations to the truth. But
there it is, listed with calumny and de-
traction: “He becomes guilty of rash judg-
ment who, even tacitly, assumes as true,
without sufficient foundation, the moral
fault of a neighbor.”
To protect our neighbor’s reputation
and ourselves from pride, the Catechism
(No. 2478) enjoins, “To avoid rash judg-
ment, everyone should be careful to
interpret insofar as possible his neigh-
bor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a
favorable way: Every good Christian
ought to be more ready to give a favor-
able interpretation to another’s statement
than to condemn it. But if he cannot
do so, let him ask how the other under-
stands it.”
It is a spiritual work of mercy to cor-
rect the sinner, but we’re obligated to be
certain he’s actually sinning before doing
so, and to understand what he’s trying to
do so we can correct him as winsomely as
possible.
Charity is an intellectual virtue, too!
This thinking well of others is not only a
kindness, it’s also the foundation of all
learning.
We aren’t free to criticize another per-
son’s position until we first understand it
What We’re Watching
I Confess: How swiftly a good priest’s friends believe ill of him!
To Kill a Mockingbird: Good will is “walking a mile in
another man’s moccasins.”
as he does, and that requires careful ex-
amination, not smug dismissal.
As Benedict the XVI is at pains to
point out in both of his first encyclicals,
self-government depends on the faculty
of reason, and reason must constantly be
purified of self-interest and passions.
It’s a vice to go looking for either gaffes
or slights. Jumping to believe the worst,
we encourage the lowest elements among
us to wage their battles by slander, be it in
schools, corporations, public life, or even
the Church. If we allow slander to work,
it hardly matters that we ourselves are
honest; we’ll have ceded the world to the
father of lies.
Media loved it when the Pope wrote
that Jesus of Nazareth wasn’t a magisterial
document, so anyone was free to disagree
with him. Hardly anyone noticed the
next line of his foreword, far more im-
portant for the times in which we live: “I
would only ask my readers for that initial
good will without which there can be no
understanding.”
Peace on earth is for everyone, but
only people of good will can receive it.✥
Rebecca Ryskind Teti is
Faith & Family’s contributing editor.
13
 Reach great heights!
Looking for a home school program?
Only one Catholic home school
program provides an
outstanding curriculum,
the
flexibility you want,
the
adaptability you need
and
unlimited academic support!
Scale the academic summit with
Kolbe Academy!

www.kolbe.org
707.255.6499, x5
5
 FAMILY MIND GAMES
Christmas
Memory
Quiz
What’s best for your kids: the coolest
new thing or the meaningful
family thing? Take our quiz and see.
MEN: What was the Christmas gift from your child-
hood that you most cherish?
A. Rock’em Sock’em Robots (or that Firebird Trans-Am model),
because it was the hippest thing that year.
B. Deluxe Electronic Erector Set (or Pong game), because it was
expensive, regardless of the use I got out of it.
C. The Old West Canteen my dad picked up on a business trip to
Colorado, because Colorado seemed exotic and because he picked it out
just for me.
D. Here’s Looking at You, Kid, a book of remembrances from my
mom. It was nice, but not my favorite at the time — but it’s my all-time
favorite now.
WOMEN: What was the Christmas gift from your
childhood that you most cherish?
A. Erik Estrada Lunch Box (or Sean Cassidy poster). It was the envy
of the lunchroom (or looked great in my locker).
B. An Easy-Bake Oven (or 8-track player), because it was expensive,
regardless of the use I got out of it.
C. The Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls my grandma made — just like
her own growing up!
D. The picture frame showing three different photos of my family
growing up. It’s been on my wall from college to this day.
MEN: What’s your favorite Christmas memory?
A. Going to Rocky IV (or E.T.) with my family.
B. Seeing Bon Jovi (or KISS), in concert with my friends.
C. Driving through the Christmas lights district of our town and
just being together with the family.
D. Christmas dinner when my little brother wasn’t taller than I was
yet, and my sister still lived nearby.
WOMEN: What’s your favorite Christmas memory?
A. Going to Sixteen Candles (or Ferris Bueller’s Day Off) with my
PHOTO: VEER.
family.
B. Seeing Howard Jones (or Peter Frampton) in concert with my
friends.
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
C. The Family Night at the skating rink when dad took me out on
the rink, then took mom.
D. Baking Christmas cookies with mom and aunt and grandma, and
seeing how they interact.
BOTH: What Christmas story did you love the most?
A. The ones that were sweetest: The Muppets and John Denver’s
Christmas Carol, or Lawrence Welk.
B. The ones that were best known: Rudolph the Red-Nosed
Reindeer or Frosty the Snowman.
C. The ones your parents read to you: ’Twas the Night Before
Christmas or The Little Match Girl.
D. The ones that happened spontaneously: mom and dad sharing
their own Christmas memories.
BOTH: What were your favorite Christmas carols?
A. The grocery-store CD “Joyous Christmas” because it was our first
CD!
B. Belinda Carlisle’s Christmas album (or Mannheim Steamroller)
because it was the newest thing.
C. My parents’ scratchy old LPs of Bing Crosby and Nat King Cole.
D. Songs we sang while Aunt Jane played, a bit too fast, on our out-
of-tune piano.
If you answered mostly …
A. You’re hopelessly nostalgic. Try being nostalgic about family
instead of things.
B. You like what’s spectacular and popular. Balance that with
your kids.
C. Times with your family have made your Christmases bright.
D. Meaningful things are the most meaningful to you.
15
 arty
pplanners
There’s No Place Like Home
Occasion: Lucy’s fourth birthday
Party Planner: Jessica Allen
Theme: Wizard of Oz party
Guests: “All who were invited were
instructed to wear red shoes to the party.
These ranged from my grandma’s red
Keds, to my cousin’s patent leather shoes
from her prom, to many varieties of red
sandals and socks.”
Decorations: “The night before the
party, my husband and I stuffed a pair of
white tights with newspapers and put tape
rings around them with electrical tape.
We stuffed them under Lucy’s outdoor
playhouse and finished with an old pair of
red shoes. Lucy was so excited (after
being a bit nervous that there was a witch
under there) to show everyone how her
house had fallen on a witch. Of course on
our front door we had a
sign that read ‘Doorbell
broken, please ring
bell.’ The table-
cloth was an
old blue-and-
white checkered
piece of fabric.”
16
1
Party Gear
1. Sweet Tooth. Send the Lollipop Guild 2
home with these jumbo swirl pops.
$6.99 per dozen.
2. Flying Monkeys. Pop-up monkeys
that won’t steal Toto. $5.99 for two
dozen.
3. Oh My! Lions and tigers and panda
bears! Act out the woods scene with
these animal caps. $22.99 per
dozen.
4. Click Your Heels. All the girls can
dress up as Glinda with these glittery
wands. $7.99 per dozen.
OrientalTrading.com or (800) 875-8480.
3
PHOTOS: PARTY, COURTESY OF THE FAMILY; SHOES, ISTOCK.
Activities: “A Wizard of Oz sing-along small witch hat floating on the top).”
with the whole family out on the deck and Dessert: “Yellow Brick Road/Emerald
plenty of ‘skipping like Dorothy.’” City cake” and “Somewhere Over the
Food: Pulled pork, casserole potatoes, Rainbow ribbon Jell-O” (alternating col-
macaroni and cheese, and broccoli salad. ors of Jell-O with a creamy filling).
Drinks: “We had melted witch punch (a Favors: “We gave out homemade lol-
punchbowl with green-tinted punch and a lipops in honor of the lollipop kids!”
HOMEWORK: Birthdays, anniversaries — whatever occasion makes each season special —
celebrate with a party! On this page, readers share their successes and challenges with party plan-
ning. Send us your snapshots and details. Featured entrants win a Faith & Family goodie box.
Contact information on page 6.
FAITH & FAMILY
Teach Them Well…
Bring Story Time to Life with
A Little Person’s First Rosary
It’s never too early to instill positive values and
to establish the good habit of prayer. Introduce
the little ones in your life to this time-honored
devotional... and place them under the watchful
eye of Our Mother Mary with a Free Enrollment
in our Children’s League!
This brightly colored,
easy-to-use Rosary is…
Ideal for little fingers • A perfect gift for your child,
grandchild, godchild, niece or nephew • Guaranteed
non-toxic • Blessed by the Carmelite Friars

Request A Little Person’s First Rosary today with a gift

of $12 or more in support of Carmelite ministries. (The suggested offering
is $12 for each Rosary requested.) Note: Not recommended for children under 3 years of age.

TM
Carmelite Friars • National Shrine of Our Lady of Mount Carmel • P.O. Box 868 • Carmelite Drive • Middletown, NY 10940-0868
(845) 344-0876 • (Calling Hours: 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. EST Mon.-Fri.) • www.carmelitedevelopment.org
q YES… I believe prayer is a vital part of childhood! Please send me ______ A Little Person’s First Rosary(ies).
My gift of $_______ in support of Carmelite ministries is enclosed. (The suggested offering is $12 for each
Rosary requested.)
Special, Free Enrollment Offer!
q Please enroll the following children in the Our Lady of the Scapular Children’s League for one free year:
q Please send me an additional
1. ____________________________ 2. ____________________________ enrollment form.
q My check, made out to the Carmelite Friars, is enclosed.

Q Please charge my gift of $_______ to my: Q Q Exp. date ______ /______

Acct. no. ________ - ________ - ________ - ________ Sig. __________________________________________

Name _____________________________________________Address ___________________________________________

(please print)

City ________________________________________________________ State ____________ Zip _____________________

Phone (________)________________________________Email _________________________________________________

Please allow 3-6 weeks for delivery of items. Your gift is tax deductible to the extent of the law. FF2-CL08
THE INSIDER

Ready Your
1
House and
Hearts
1. Bending Near the Earth
Layered-wood angel watches the Nativity
3 scene from above. Angel can be displayed
as one piece or separated into three
pieces. 8 inches high. $24.95, from
CatholicSupply.com or (314) 644-0643.

2. Glory Given
Stained-glass ornaments shine with a mini-
bulb from your Christmas lights. Made of
porcelain with 22-karat gold trim. 4 3/4
inches high. $29.95 (set of two), from
LeafletOnline.com or (800) 328-9582.

3. Hail the King

Hand-carved, original stone sculpture of
the Nativity scene is an impressive addi-
tion to your collection. Sculpture is free-
standing or has a hook imbedded on the
back for hanging. Glass holder and votive
candle included. $44, from
CarruthStudio.com or (800) 225-1178.
5
4. Prince of Peace
Made in Bethlehem, this tea light candle
holder features the Holy Family and the
4 Church of the Annunciation in Nazareth.
Made of olive wood and ceramic. 5 inches
high. $32.95, from
HolyLandTreasuresOnline.com or (866)
416-4659.

5. Beautiful Sight
This lovely table runner, made of ivory and
gold fabric, is a stunning addition to your
dining buffet. The top of the runner is
embroidered with trumpeting angels and
stars. 14 inches wide by 72 inches long.
$58.50, from Lenox.com

18 FAITH & FAMILY

 THE INSIDER

Decorate your home 7

with symbols of Christ

6. Boughs of Holly
Tired of the traditional Christmas-greens
wreath? Try this Mary and Joseph figurine
Christmas wreath. 24 inches high. $94.90,*
from CatholicMax.com
*Too pricey? Log onto
FaithAndFamilyLIVE.com for instructions on
how to make your own inexpensive
Christmas wreath. Click Resources.

7. Angel Voices
Delicate porcelain angels with a pastel cloi-
sonné finish are a unique addition to your
Christmas tree. 5 1/2 inches high. $25.50
(set of three), from InHisName.com or
(919) 847-2220.

8. Born This Day 10

Add this Holy Family statue to your Christ-
mas décor. Made of resin. 11 inches high.
$29.95, from CrossesAndChristmas.com or
(972) 523-6456.

9. Little Town
Woodland Nativity figure makes a lovely 8
centerpiece for your table. Made of a resin
and stone mix. 12 3/4 inches high. $32.95,
9
from CatholicCompany.com or (866) 522-
8465.

10. First Day of Christmas

Modeled after the “Twelve Days of
Christmas” carol, each crystal bell is
etched with the corresponding “Twelve
Days of Christmas” design. This limited edi-
tion series is a collector’s item. Includes a
keepsake booklet and matching jeweled
bell clappers. 3 inches high. $70 (each bell
sold separately), from Waterford.com

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 19
 5PVHI
2VFTUJPOT
'BJUIGVM
"OTXFST
8 IFUIFS
ZPV
EFTJSF
B
NPSF
JOUJNBUF
BOE
HPEMZ
NBSSJBHF

B
NPSF
GBJUIGVM
BOE
MPWJOH
GBNJMZ
PS
B
NPSF
HSBDF
mMMFE
QFSTPOBM
MJGF
ɩF
1BTUPSBM
4PMVUJPOT
*OTUJUVUF
DBO
IFMQ

ZPV
BDIJFWF
ZPVS
HPBMT

8F
PąFSy
$BUIPMJD
5FMFQIPOF
$PVOTFMJOH
$BMM
UPEBZ
GPS
TPMVUJPOGPDVTFE
$BUIPMJDJOUFHSBUFE

QTZDIPUIFSBQZ
TFSWJDFT
JO
UIF
QSJWBDZ
BOE
DPOWFOJFODF
PG

ZPVS
IPNF
8F
TQFDJBMJ[F
JO
GBJUIGVM
BOE
QSBDUJDBM
BOTXFST

UP
UPVHI
NBSSJBHF
QBSFOUJOH
BOE
FNPUJPOBM
QSPCMFNT


0VS
DPVOTFMPST
BSF
MJDFOTFE
QSPGFTTJPOBMT
XJUI
GPSNBM

UIFPMPHJDBM
USBJOJOH
"MM
BSF
GBJUIGVM
UP
UIF
.BHJTUFSJVN


"O

BEWJTPSZ
CPBSE
PG
BVUIFOUJDBMMZ
$BUIPMJD
UIFPMPHJBOT
DBOPO

MBXZFST
BOE
DMFSHZ
JT
BWBJMBCMF
$BMM
PS
WJTJU
PVS
XFCTJUF
UP

EJTDPWFS
IPX
XF
DBO
IFMQ
ZPV
MJWF
B
NPSF
HSBDFmMMFE
MJGF

%ZOBNJD
#PPL

"VEJP
3FTPVSDFT
$IFDL
PVU
PVS
POMJOF
SFTPVSDF
DFOUFS
GPS
BO
FYUFOTJWF
WBSJFUZ

PG
CPPLT
$%T
BOE
UBQFT
UIBU
XJMM
IFMQ
ZPV
MJWF
B
NPSF

GBJUIGVM
BOE
BCVOEBOU
NBSSJBHF
GBNJMZ
BOE
QFSTPOBM
MJGF

)FBSU,
.JOE

4USFOHUI
3BEJP
BOE
1PEDBTU
5VOF
JO
UP
PVS
TZOEJDBUFE
DBMMJO
SBEJP
QSPHSBN
IFBSE
FBDI

XFFLEBZ
PO
$BUIPMJD
TUBUJPOT
OBUJPOXJEF

"MTP
BWBJMBCMF

XPSMEXJEF
WJB
MJWF
XFCDBTU

QPEDBTU
4FF
XFCTJUF
GPS

EFUBJMT

XXXCatholicCounselorsDPN

%S
(SFHPSZ
,
1PQDBL

&YFDVUJWF
%JSFDUPS

"VUIPS
PG
'PS
#FUUFS
'03&7&3

1BSFOUJOH
XJUI
(SBDF

One family’s Christmas meltdown over a ‘boomerang’ son who won’t leave home
K
IM CAME HOME to visit her parents for
the Christmas holiday. She hugged her
mother Shirley and her father, Deacon
Dan. She looked at her brother, with
whom she had always been close.
“Hey, Boomer,” Kim said. “How’s
the basement these days?”
She had been home all of one minute
and the tension was thick. It was the
beginning of a week that would change
their family dynamic forever — a week
that nearly ended a 32-year Catholic
marriage.
PHOTO: SHUTTERSTOCK.
“Don’t call me that,” her brother
said. “I won’t put up with it, Kim.”
“Don’t you two start,” Shirley told
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
BY WAYNE LAUGESEN
them. “Not now. I want peace in this
home. Can’t you just give us that for
Christmas?”
“Boomer” had become Kim’s nick-
name for Sean, and it wasn’t a term of
endearment. It was an abbreviation for
“boomerang,” because Kim considered
her slightly younger brother a
“boomerang kid.” And the kid part
wasn’t really fitting. Sean was 28 years
old that winter, and he had once again
come home to live in mom and dad’s
basement.
Kim, a 30-year-old sales executive,
resented Sean. Her brother was bright
and had a bachelor’s degree from Texas
MARRIAGE MATTERS
A&M. He had the skills and back-
ground to make it on his own, but he
never seemed to launch. Kim believed
that Sean, living in the basement and
tapping the household funds, was
stressing their parents’ relationship.
She also considered it unfair. Kim’s
life hadn’t exactly been a cakewalk.
After college, she barely had enough
money to put down the deposit on a
cheap apartment in Dallas. She took a
job selling cars and barely ate until she
finally made a sale nearly a month after
starting work. She scraped, clawed,
worked, and saved her way to a better
life.
21
MARRIAGE MATTERS
‘I want peace in this home.
Can’t you give us that for Christmas?’
“Oh, but when Sean got done with
school it was a much different story,”
Kim recalls.
Sean wanted to pursue a career in
photojournalism. But first he wanted to
make sure he didn’t have a vocation as a
rock star.
“Mom and Dad bought him a Les
Paul guitar, because he had the gall to
beg them for money to help start his ca-
reer,” Kim said. “Oh, he promised to
pay it back. But that didn’t work out, be-
cause he never became this big rock
star.”
Sean lived his first year out of college
in a run-down San Antonio bungalow
with three other members of the band.
They played their instruments late into
the night, but never landed a single pay-
ing gig.
“They were horrible,” Kim said. “The
only ones who thought they had talent
were they themselves. It was like this
collective psycho-fraternal delusion of
post-collegiate beer guzzlers. I visited
that house once, and that was enough.
There were dried up old pizzas and beer
cans everywhere, and a bunch of college
graduates sleeping until noon. I saw that
place, ran away, and never went back.
Mom saw that place and decided it was
time to rescue Sean.”
THE FIRST RESCUE
Shirley remembers the day of rescue.
Sean was 23, and she hadn’t been able to
reach him by phone. She drove to his
house and tiptoed through the mess to
Sean’s room, fearful of waking the rock
stars. She found Sean sound asleep at 11
a.m. He looked like he hadn’t shaven in
a week. She gently nudged him until he
awoke.
“Sean, what’s going on here? We
should talk,” Shirley said.
The two went to lunch at a nearby
restaurant, and Shirley expressed her
concerns. She told Sean she didn’t like
what she had seen at his house, and
asked what he was doing for work.
22
“We’re trying to make the band work,
but it’s tough out there,” Sean said.
“Sean, you need a job,” Shirley said.
“What’s up with your photography? You
have such a talent for it.”
“I don’t really have the right equip-
ment,” Sean said.
And off they went to a camera store.
Sean told his mother he needed a tripod,
new lenses, and an auto film reel for his
Nikon. She bought it all, spending hun-
dreds of dollars. The two visited a re-
sume shop, where more money changed
hands to get Sean one of the finest-look-
ing resumes $200 could buy.
But Shirley and Dan weren’t rich.
They were still paying on loans that
helped put Sean and Kim through col-
lege. Things were downright tight at
times, and on her way home Shirley re-
alized that she had some explaining to
do.
That night, she told her husband Dan
that she was worried about Sean. She ex-
plained that he needed a jump-start, so
that he might pursue his chosen profes-
sion instead of the rock career that
everyone but Sean himself knew was a
ridiculous dream.
“I thought the guitar was a jump-
start,” Deacon Dan said. “Now the cam-
era is another jump-start. When do we
see him start?”
Dan wasn’t pleased about the money
Shirley had spent. The couple had put
off lots of their own hopes and dreams
until their children were out of college,
and they had planned out a strict budget
for a romantic trip to New York the fol-
lowing month.
“Honey, you need to let Sean figure
this out for himself,” Dan said. “He’s an
adult now, and we’ve done plenty to give
him a good start. Let him fail, so maybe
he’ll grow up.”
Shirley apologized for not first dis-
cussing with Dan the hundreds she had
spent that day on Sean. The next month
they flew off to New York and had a
wonderful trip.
But when they returned home, the
house wasn’t empty. Sean’s van was
parked on the street, and inside the
house was Sean — along with his guitar,
clothes, camera equipment, and the key-
board he had never quite learned to play.
At age 23, with a college degree but
no real plan, Sean had moved back
home.
Sean explained that his roommates
hadn’t been paying rent, so they were all
thrown out. He said that his stay would
be temporary — until things worked
out.
Deacon Dan rolled his eyes. Shirley
cast her husband a glare, as if to say that
he shouldn’t make Sean feel uncomfort-
able in their home.
Dan was silently infuriated by the
glare. To him, it was a look that told the
story of a marriage that seemed more
centered on kids than on a couple. Be-
fore Dan and Shirley had unpacked their
own luggage, Shirley was making Sean
comfortable, making up his bed and
washing his laundry.
“I had been enjoying the empty nest
since Sean went off to college,” Deacon
Dan explained. “That evening, it be-
came apparent to me that Shirley felt
differently. She seemed almost delighted
that Sean had come home. I guess I
wanted the attention Sean was getting.”
He had plodded through while he
reared the children with Shirley, hoping
that when the children became adults
and left home, Shirley would focus more
on him. But it wasn’t happening. She
still seemed to honor and respect the
needs of Sean more than those of her
husband. He was having serious doubts
about the couple’s future.
Sean spent his first few days in the
house combing over help wanted ads
and sending off his slick new resume to
local newspapers and magazines he
hoped might need photographers. He
never heard from most, and when he did
it was in the form of anorexic envelopes
containing prefab rejection notes.
FAITH & FAMILY
 MARRIAGE MATTERS

The second week into Sean’s stay, Shirley was angered by her husband’s She took Sean to an apartment com-
Deacon Dan began hearing hideous gui- response to the news that Sean was plex near the music store. She laid out
tar riffs wafting from the basement. It broke. She walked him to their bed- the cash for a month-to-month lease.
seemed to go on all day, and it never room, closed the door, and asked him She told him he would need to pay her
sounded better. Finally, he pounded on why he resented their son so much. back as soon as he could. And then she
Sean’s bedroom door. “We raised him to adulthood, we put left.
“I thought you were finding a job, but him through college — which we’ll be At home, Shirley apologized to Dan.
all I’m hearing is guitar all day,” Deacon paying for the rest of our lives — and it’s She said she regretted acting unilateral-
Dan said. just time that he lead his own life. You ly regarding Sean. She even regretted
“Dad, I’ve been looking, but there’s know what his problem is? It’s you. You moving him into the apartment without
nothing out there,” Sean said. “I’m wait- are coddling him and spoiling him to his first discussing it as a couple.
ing to hear back from a bunch of places, own peril.” “I just couldn’t take the tension any
but nothing has come through yet.” With that, Shirley left the room and longer,” Shirley explained to her hus-
“Well, you’d better find something slammed the door. Deacon Dan went to band. “I decided it was what you would
because you’re only here for another few bed alone. He awoke at 4 a.m. and want.”
weeks,” Deacon Dan said. “I love you, Shirley still wasn’t in bed. She was on Deacon Dan said nothing, and just
but you need to start your own life.” the living room couch. In 27 years of held Shirley close. He apologized for his
marriage, the two had never been so harsh words the night before. He ex-
THE CYCLE BEGINS angry as to sleep in separate rooms. But plained that he was genuinely concerned
The few weeks turned into a few here they were, separated in the middle for Sean, and believed he would never
months. During those months, Deacon of the night over a dispute about a son make a life for himself if allowed to live
Dan and Shirley began to argue like they both dearly loved. at home. Shirley said she agreed, but
never before. Deacon Dan wanted his The next day, Shirley was still upset. couldn’t stand to cast him out with so
son out of the house. He’d have thrown Deacon Dan went off to church, and few resources and a low-paying job.
him out, except Shirley was brought to Shirley woke up Sean. For nine months, Sean continued
tears each time the subject arose. So “Come on, we’re apartment shop- working at the music store. “Then a big
Deacon Dan continued extending the ping,” Shirley said. corporate chain bought the guitar
deadline, month after month.
Then one day Sean got a job. He was
hired by a music store to sell guitars. It
wasn’t what he wanted, but it was some-
The night before Christmas Eve,
thing he could do.
Deacon Dan, Shirley, and Sean all de- Dan left his family and went
cided that Sean would stay for only two
more months — long enough to save
enough to get an apartment.
to a motel.
“I thought that living with us he could
save pretty much every cent that he
made,” Deacon Dan said. “I really
thought we had a plan, finally.”
About two weeks after starting the
job, Sean came home wearing new
clothes. He explained that he needed
them for work. After the next paycheck,
he came home with a new amp for his
guitar.
“It was on sale at the store — a once-
in-a-lifetime opportunity to pick it up,”
Sean explained.
PHOTO: JUPITER IMAGES.

At the end of two months, Sean had

not saved a dime. Deacon Dan threw a
conniption fit.
“We had a deal!” he yelled, in the di-
rection of Shirley and Sean. “He needs
to get his own place, as agreed to.”

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 23
MARRIAGE MATTERS
store,” said Sean’s sister Kim. “Sean was
out of a job.”
He took a job at a convenience store,
but it barely began to pay the bills. Just
over a year after moving out, Sean was
back on his parents’ doorstep. Deacon
Dan no longer wanted to fight. Even he
couldn’t see another good option for
Sean. It was the basement or a homeless
shelter.
The cycle continued for the next five
years. Sean would live with his parents
until it got too hot. Then he’d land a
better job, usually in retail. He’d get his
own place, the job would end, and he
was back home. In all, he moved in and
out four times from age 23 to age 28.
“It was constantly an issue in our mar-
riage,” Deacon Dan said. “It represent-
ed what seemed like a failure in parent-
ing. I was blaming Shirley, and she
thought I was callous and uncaring to-
ward our son who needed help. He was
not a kid anymore, so I wanted romantic
dinners and evening chats, but Sean was
always there, and this constant guitar
sound was the background noise of our
lives together.”
And there was the issue of Kim, who
was complaining of unequal treatment.
She had worked hard and done well. She
was paying on her own student loans,
and didn’t have a rent-free apartment in
her parents’ home.
“It became troublesome when Kim
would come to visit,” Deacon Dan said.
“Her resentment was palpable. Kim
would always try to discuss it, asking
when we were going to get ‘Boomer’ out
of the house.”
,
FIGHTING ROUND THE TREE
The tension turned to an all-out fam-
ily war that Christmas break, after Kim
kicked things off with the “Hey,
Boomer” greeting. Sean antagonized
Kim for never being able to find a man.
Kim antagonized Sean for living like a
child.
“They were at each other’s throats
and it wasn’t long before they were
throwing things,” Shirley said.
Deacon Dan and Shirley left the
home and stood in their front yard, not
knowing what to do. They began to talk,
24
and Shirley began defending Sean.
“That’s when I said, ‘Enough.’ I just
couldn’t take any more of it,” Deacon
Dan said.
The night before Christmas Eve,
Deacon Dan did something he could
hardly imagine. He left his family and
drove to a motel.
The next day, Dan called Father
Michael from their church. He ex-
plained that he had left home, unable to
cope with the dysfunction in his own
family. He told Father Michael he
couldn’t stand the thought of going
home, where it seemed like everyone
was at war. He even dropped the “D”
word, confiding in Father Michael that
he had been contemplating divorce for
the past several years.
The two met later that day, and Fa-
ther Michael told Deacon Dan to pull
himself together. He suggested a family
meeting, one he would moderate.
Deacon Dan went home that after-
noon, and the family had the most ten-
sion-filled Christmas Eve any of them
had ever known. Nobody fought, but
conversation was guarded and scarce.
The day after Christmas, Father
Michael came by the home for the fam-
ily meeting. He gave each member of
the family an opportunity to talk, in a
context of respect and love, with a guar-
antee that interruptions would not be
tolerated.
“Lots came out in that meeting,”
Deacon Dan said.
He learned that his wife was lonely,
lacking deep communication with him,
and took solace in having Sean in the
home. Sean expressed his fear, and lack
of confidence in being able to make it
alone in the world without parental sup-
port. Kim expressed resentment and bit-
terness over feelings that her parents fa-
vored their boy child over their girl.
Dan expressed resentment that his son
seemed spoiled and weak, and confessed
that he felt largely to blame. He also ex-
pressed regret for not standing up for
himself over the years, on the many oc-
casions when Shirley contradicted his
decisions and disrespected him in front
of their kids.
Father Michael explained that he per-
ceived plenty of guilt to go around, as-
suring the entire family that no one per-
son was to blame. He suggested a tough
love plan, in which Sean would be
forced to sink or swim. If his future was
the streets, or a shelter, then so be it. He
explained that a son should go out and
try to make a family of his own, which
Sean would never do without a plan of
exit from his parents’ home.
Father Michael suggested that Dea-
con Dan and Shirley enroll in Retrou-
vaille, a program to help couples heal
and renew their marriages. He also
suggested a couple’s group known as
Teams of Our Lady, which helps facili-
tate better communication between
Catholic couples. He urged all members
of the family to partake in the sacrament
of reconciliation at least once a month,
if not more. He promised to follow
up with each member of the family, to
help them stay on track with the plan.
THIS CHRISTMAS
That night was five years ago. This
Christmas will be happier, and saner, at
Dan and Shirley’s house.
Sean will be there with his new wife,
on break from his job managing a gro-
cery store. Kim will be there. She visits
often and gets along with her parents
and Sean.
“It’s water under the bridge,” Kim
said. “We’ve all grown.”
For Deacon Dan and Shirley, Christ-
mas will be like it was in the old days
when Sean and Kim were in college.
Nobody plays guitar in the basement.
The adult children pay their own bills
and solve their own problems. Then
they come together to celebrate Christ’s
birth.
“It’s not always marital bliss, but
mostly it is,” Deacon Dan said.
“Pretty much always,” Shirley said.
“There were some tough years in there
for the entire family. I was so unwilling
to listen to my husband that I didn’t
even know our marriage was in com-
plete jeopardy. God has ways of getting
us all to grow and learn.”✥
Wayne Laugesen writes from Colorado.
FAITH & FAMILY
Glorious 2009 Saints Calendar

12 beautiful images by internationally renowned artists…

Documentary on each saint
Monthly national brand coupons valued over $200.00

Display this beautiful wall calendar

in your home for only $18.95
Call 1-866-217-8131
or visit www.saintcalendar.org
to order yours today!

A percentage of the proceeds from

the sale of this calendar will
benefit Catholic Relief Services.
 Precious Gifts
Save 10% on
Your Entire Order
To receive the discount, order at
www.adoremusbooks.com and enter
Coupon Code FFC8 when checking out.
Hurry offer ends 12/15/2008

OVER 10,000 ITEMS IN STOCK

BOOKS ‡ FILMS ‡ MUSIC ‡ HOMESCHOOLING AIDS ‡ PRAYER ‡ DEVOTIONS

order online today at www.adoremusbooks.com

With over 10,000 items in stock, we are sure to have that special gift you are looking for.
N Art Books & Supplies N Christmas/Advent Items N Foreign Languages N Phonics & Reading
N Audio Books N Classroom Supplies N Games & Puzzles N Poetry
N Baptism Gifts N Confirmation Items N Geography N PSAT/ACT/SAT Test
N Bookmarks N Cookbooks N Gift Certificates Prep Materials
N Book Lights N Crucifixes & Statues N Handwriting N Recently Released & Bestsellers
N Bibles N Dictionaries & Thesaurus N History N Religion
N Bible Study Materials N Easter & Lent Items N Hobbies & Craft Kits N Religious Artwork
N Calendars & Planners N Family, Marriage & Parenting N Holy Cards N RCIA Materials
N Candles N First Communion Items N Language Arts N Rosaries, Medals & Bracelets
N Latin Mass Materials N Sacramental Preparation
N Literature N Scapulars
N Math N Spelling & Vocabulary
N Microscopes & Lab Materials N Science Materials
N Mother of Divine Grace Materials N Stationary & Note Cards
N Music CDS N Typing/Keyboarding Skills
N Music Education N Writing & Grammar

Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh gift chests bring

the Gifts of the Magi to life. These “Original
Gifts of Christmas” are real. Real 23 karat gold
and authentic frankincense and myrrh from the
same regions as the gifts brought to the baby
-HVXVRQWKDWYHU\¿UVW&KULVWPDV
Original Gifts of Christmas $75.00
Gold, Frankincense & Myrrh–3 Box Set, Part #16000
 Keep Christ in

Christmas and the

season merry and

bright … without

breaking the bank.

BY DARIA SOCKEY

B
ETWEEN SOARING food and fuel prices, many of us might find our
Christmas budgets tighter than usual this year. But is that any reason to
stint ourselves (and our children) on Christmas joy? Heaven forbid!
We’ve talked to several expert economists — Catholic moms dealing with a
PHOTO: JUPITER IMAGES.

single family income and multiple children — to hear how they do it.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 27
Simply Meaningful
Teresa Giorgio of Akron, Ohio, is a
mother of nine who has made holiday
simplicity a way of life. Teresa has three
main goals at this time of year: to nurture
relationships, to teach the kids about the
Incarnation, and to make sure they have
“a grand time.” Her husband is a
doctor who is often at the hospital
for long shifts, so when the fami-
ly is together, Teresa wants there
to be less unnecessary busy-ness,
and more activities that are enjoy-
able and meaningful.
“On the first Sunday we put up
an Advent wreath, which we light
at dinner time. We sing ‘O Come,
O Come Emmanuel’ — very off-
key, I might add,” she says. “That
same day we put out our Nativity
figures. We try to make this scene
attractive and prominent. That’s
the only decorating we do in the
beginning. We don’t put outdoor lights on
the house anymore, mainly because that
job fell on my husband. It was a big chore
for him and took away from the limited
time he could spend with the family.”
A simple but beloved family activity is
watching favorite Christmas videos to-
gether. “They’re the same ones my hus-
band and I enjoyed as kids: Rudolph,
Frosty, The Little Drummer Boy. We all
have lots of the dialogue memorized.”
Abundant Blessings
The Giorgios’ focus on relationships
applies to extended family and others
who are part of their lives. Gift-giving in-
cludes a massive amount of homemade
cookies, so baking and freezing these is
an ongoing Advent activity.
“We try to give cookies to all those
who have served us — the mailman, the
trash guys, the piano teacher, our neigh-
bors. We must make at least two dozen
trays of cookies for all these people.”
Although gifts from Santa are opened
on Christmas day after morning Mass,
the real highlight of the Giorgios’ home
holiday festivities is a Christmas Eve
party that includes grandparents, aunt,
uncles, cousins, and friends.
“I’m one of six siblings,” says Teresa,
“and lots of them live near enough to
come. So this is a huge, loud, delightful,
and chaotic get-together.” Teresa also
mentioned that some years back she and
her sisters realized that their gift ex-
28
change was getting out of control.
“We adult siblings would draw names,
and each kid would draw a cousin’s name.
The gifts became very elaborate, and
mothers with lots of kids had a huge bur-
den, because we were the ones shopping
for eight or nine different cousins’ gifts.
We switched to each family picking an-
other family’s name, and getting a rela-
tively inexpensive, whole-family gift,
such as a basket with a video or a board
game plus edible treats.”
Focusing on just a few favorite activi-
ties and low-key decorating has helped
keep Teresa sane during the holidays.
“My kids don’t feel deprived. They
love the Christmas season. For me, see-
ing that we celebrate as a family is the
greatest blessing. That, plus helping the
kids in their awareness of who Jesus is.”
Author’s note: Although Teresa men-
tioned it only in passing, one of their
yearly Christmas Eve guests is a mentally
disabled gentleman from a nearby group
home. “Louie” has no family, so every
year the Giorgios supply his need to be
“home for the holidays.” There can hard-
ly be a better way to teach children to
share the love of Jesus.
Savvy Shopping
Christina Watkins of Oxford, Conn., is
a mother of nine. She has developed a few
strategies to deal with her gift budget.
“Use the Internet wisely, anticipating
what a child might ask for and shop
around on eBay, Amazon.com, or
Half.com. Little kids can’t distinguish be-
tween new and gently used. Besides, you
can find plenty of brand new merchan-
dise on these sites, as well. The Internet
is especially valuable when it comes to
DVDs and CDs. Many sellers offer free
shipping for large orders, so place an
order that will cover several children.”
Christina’s kids want to give one an-
other special gifts each year, but their
family can’t dole out large allowances,
and so far the four teenagers’ opportuni-
ties for part-time income have been lim-
ited. She has had success in en-
couraging older children to wrap
and give treasured possessions to
younger siblings who have long
coveted them.
Another strategy that has
worked for Christina is to accu-
mulate a number of small gifts
ahead of time and let younger
children buy them from her —
sometimes at a discount, if the
child’s funds don’t quite meet the
full price.
“They still get the feeling of
having bought something really
cool for a sibling, and I want to
encourage that eagerness to give.”
This approach also saves on the gaso-
line and time needed to take each child
on a separate shopping trip in town.
Sibling Revelry
Amy Dea of Templeton, Iowa, found
another way her children could give to
one another throughout Advent that
would cost nothing but time and love.
“The older children make paper chains
for their younger siblings. They make 25
links per younger sibling. They write acts
of kindness on these links and sign their
names to it. For example, ‘Make cookies
with me — Camille.’ ‘Play hide and seek
with me — Katherine.’ The younger
children get to redeem one piece of the
chain each day. I encourage my children
PHOTOS: BAKING, JUPITER IMAGES; BACKGROUND, SHUTTERSTOCK.
to be close friends, and this is a beautiful
way to do it. The big kids like it as much
as the little ones.”
True Value
Mary Kolakowski of Canton, Ohio,
mother of six, found it necessary to cut
down on expenses several years ago when
her husband took a cut in pay.
“We had always put on a very lavish
Christmas for the kids, so I worried about
how the kids would take it when they
didn’t get as many fancy presents as in
previous years. I sat down with the three
oldest to help them understand the situa-
tion, and was really surprised at their re-
action. Basically it was, ‘Mom, we can’t
FAITH & FAMILY
 recall half the stuff we got last year.
That’s not what’s important.’ It turned
out to be all the small family customs and
traditions — things that didn’t cost much
at all — that really mattered to them.
The Advent calendars, our custom of
placing bits of straw in a manger to rep-
resent good deeds, or just sitting by the
lit-up tree in the evening with all the
other lights in the house turned off. They
surprised me by saying how much it
meant to them when we delivered gifts to
neighbors and friends personally, singing
carols as we knocked on their doors. Best
of all, they described giving gifts to each
other as being just as exciting as getting
stuff for themselves.”
Mary felt reassured, yet she still want-
ed to see a huge pile of presents covering
the living room floor on Christmas
morning.
“I just loved the magical sight of all
those shiny packages. Since the kids told
me it didn’t matter what was actually in
most of those boxes, I felt free to fill lots
of them with extremely inexpensive
items. A lot of the younger kids’ toys
come from thrift stores and garage sales.
Or I might wrap up boxes of each child’s
favorite store-bought snack food, and
give each teen a six-pack of pop. Plus I’ll
wrap up extra supplies of socks, under-
wear, and school supplies that they’ll
need anyway. They each will get a couple
pricier items from their wish lists, but the
quantity of these less expensive gifts
maintains that eye-popping display I
want them to see when they come down
the stairs.”
“Fear not!” Jesus reminds us, “I have
overcome the world” (John 16:33). Com-
pared with the wonder of God coming to
live among us — how can anything else
keep us from the holy fun, the holy hilar-
ity, and the holy joy that this season de-
mands of us? If the passing woes of the
economy or an uncertain political climate
are getting you down, make this carol
your theme song this year:
“God rest ye merry, gentlemen — Let
nothing you dismay. Remember, Christ
our Savior was born on Christmas Day!”✥

O JOY!
Invent
ive ADVENTS
Patsy Urbanovsky of Lincoln, Neb., and her family focus on the O Antiphons, which appear in the daily Liturgy from
Dec. 17-24.
“Each one highlights a different title of the Messiah. I made eight table top ‘tents’ from folded card stock. On one side is
written the date and the antiphon. On the back is the verse of ‘O Come, O Come Emmanuel’ that corresponds with the an-
tiphon. When we light the wreath at dinner time, we have the words, so it is easy to read and sing. We also try to do some-
thing fun to represent the antiphon. For O Root of Jesse, we serve root vegetables at dinner. For O Key of David, we get key
lime pie for dessert!”

LIGHTS OUT
The Church’s liturgy calls for the season of Advent to build toward the glory of Christmas gradually, rather than all at
once. For example, the third Sunday of Advent is called Gaudete (Rejoice!) Sunday. We light a pink candle because Christ-
mas is getting closer. Many families don’t turn on their outdoor light displays or put up Christmas trees until this day. An-
other good choice for turning on all the lights — if you can wait that long — is Dec. 22, when the O Antiphon is “O Radiant
Dawn, splendor of Eternal light, come shine on those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death.”

CHEAP THRILLS
If you don’t have an anthology of classic Christmas stories, get one. Or get several. Check your local library for starters.
The best anthologies have a pleasing mix of sacred and secular stories. Read one aloud for the whole family every night you
have a chance, or have a story marathon every Sunday afternoon from Advent through Epiphany. One not-to-miss story is
“Christmas Every Day” by William Dean Howells. Hilariously funny and a good lesson on the evils of materialism.

GET ONLINE
Catholic blogger Mary Ellen Barrett has put together this one-stop shop for Advent and Christmas prayers, customs, crafts,
trivia, best holiday story books, and more. She also gives links to just about any other seasonal resource you might need.
PHOTOS: CALENDAR, JUPITER IMAGES.

Check it out at ONightDivine.com

CHRISTMAS NOVENA
Here is a traditional and very short daily Advent devotion for the family. Add it to grace before meals or daily family
prayers. Each individual can choose their own intention, even if it’s just to get that one special Christmas gift.
Hail and blessed be the hour and moment in which the Son of God was born of the most pure Virgin Mary, at midnight, in
Bethlehem, in piercing cold. In that hour, vouchsafe, O my God! to hear my prayer and grant my desires, through the merits
of our Savior Jesus Christ, and of his Blessed Mother. Amen.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 29
 Y
ou could say we are
“old school” and we
wouldn’t mind. You
see, Benedictine College has been
educating young minds within a
community of faith and scholarship
for the last 150 years. Even with
Old School
waiting lists and record-breaking
enrollment, we have not lost what
is important to us; a residential
campus, thriving faith life, small
student-teacher ratio, in short, our
roots. Those roots go back to our
founding communities, Mount
Saint Scholastica Monastery and
St. Benedict’s Abbey. Technically,
St. Benedict founded his monastery
in Subiaco, Italy over 1500 years
ago. He established the “Rule of
St. Benedict” and the tenets that
are still alive on our campus today;
moderation, hospitality, and prayer and
work. Today, Benedictine College boasts
one of the largest undergraduate theology
departments in America. It was named
“One of the Top 20 Catholic Colleges in the
Country,” by the Newman Guide to Choosing
A Catholic College and “One of America’s Best
Colleges,” by U.S. News & World Report. It is joyfully
committed to the principles of Ex Corde Ecclesiae So
if anyone calls you “old school,” take it as a compliment.
We certainly do.

B ENEDICTINE C OLLEGE
ATCHISON, KANSAS • www.benedictine.edu • 1.800.467.5340
 DEBT is the REAL
GRINCH
Don’t Let Your Credit Card Steal Christmas!
I
PERSONALLY HAVE never felt the “holiday blues.”
But I know many, many people who have celebrat-
ed a beautiful Christmas — only to get the bills
blues in January.
I will always remember a young couple who
PHOTO: ZUMA PHOTOS/NEWSCOM.
once participated in my 7 Steps to Becoming Finan-
cially Free small group study.
They had been fortunate to purchase a home just before
the housing boom and run-up in prices. They wanted their
children to have all the things their families had been un-
able to afford when they were growing up. As the value of
their home increased, they borrowed repeatedly against it
in order to buy all types of “goodies” — new home furnish-
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
BY PHIL LENAHAN
ings, a travel trailer, jet skis, and an SUV to tow the trailer.
Christmas just kept coming for them.
You can imagine what happened next. It became difficult
to pay their regular bills in addition to a higher mortgage
payment. Then the housing bubble burst. The value of
their home dropped, and they could no longer use it as an
ATM.
As this couple began to learn more about their Catholic
faith, their outlook changed. Christmas changed from a
material event to a spiritual one. They focused on the Lord
instead of material things. They continued to grow in their
faith and took the difficult steps necessary to bring their fi-
nances back into balance.
31

The Battle for
Temperance
Why is it so hard to live within our
means? Why are so many of us willing
to go into debt to finance a lifestyle that
we really can’t afford?
“Our thirst for another’s goods is im-
mense, infinite, never quenched,” as the
Catechism puts it (No. 2536).
The remedy? Temperance. That’s
what “moderates the attraction of plea-
sures and provides balance in the use of
created goods.” Temperance “ensures
the will’s mastery over instincts and
keeps desires within the limits of what is
honorable” (No. 1809).
Temperance is hard to come by. Es-
pecially for the young.
The findings of a recent survey by the
Pew Research Center found that in
“Generation Y” (ages 18 to 25):
• 81% of those surveyed said their
most important goal in life was to be
rich.
• 51% said they most aspired to be
famous.
• Bringing up the rear at a whopping
10% was the goal of becoming more
spiritual.
Young people are bombarded daily
with messages that point to wealth and
consumption as a means of achieving
happiness — the same trap that caught
that young couple.
But the kind of “happiness” we can
buy is a false happiness, and when it’s
built on a foundation of debt, it’s bound
to come crashing down. Misuse of debt
continues to plague many Americans.
• In 2001, only 1.5% of home loans
were “interest only” loans. Just three
short years later, 31% of home loan
originations were such loans. In the San
Diego area where I live, over 50% were
“interest only” by 2005.
• Only 30% of credit card holders
pay their balances in full every month.
• The average household carries
$8,000 in credit card debt.
• 20% of credit card holders pay only
the minimum required balance every
month.
Productive Debt vs.
Unproductive Debt
A good rule of thumb to use when de-
ciding to borrow money is to determine
whether you are using the debt to pur-
chase an appreciating asset.
The most common examples of ap-
preciating assets are homes or invest-
ment properties. When used prudently
in this manner, debt is considered “pro-
ductive.” It’s also possible that borrow-
ing to obtain a higher education could

Once you’ve made the commitment to remaining debt-free

this Christmas season, you’ll need a plan.
Here’s help for making merry without breaking the bank.
Set a gift budget. Make a specific plan for how much you can afford to
spend on gifts this year.
… but be realistic. Don’t decide you’ll make personalized soaps and
craft handmade bird feeders for everyone on your gift list if you lack the skills
or know you won’t have spare time for crafting. Otherwise, you’re setting your-

PHOTO: BACKGROUND, SHUTTERSTOCK; ILLUSTRATION, BOB HELF/NEWSCOM.

self up for cheating at the last minute.
Be Creative. Great gifts don’t have to be expensive. Your parents or grandpar-
ents might appreciate a framed photo. Your godchildren might prefer a sched-
uled afternoon of cookie baking.
… and dare to draw. Many families opt for drawing names among ex-
tended relatives. Each individual or couple buys a gift for only one other indi-
vidual or couple. Suggest it. Other relatives might be as relieved as you are to
cut back spending.
Cut Back in Advent. To compensate for extra expenditures, forgo some of
your usual discretionary spending during Advent. Check out neighborhood
Christmas lights instead of going to the movies. Make simpler meals at home
instead of eating out.
… and wait a while in Christmas. Recall that Christmas is a season
and make a deal with your spouse or a close friend to exchange gifts some-
time after Dec. 25. You’ll be able to take advantage of clearance sales and re-
duce the strain on your December budget.
— Danielle Bean

32 FAITH & FAMILY

 be a productive use of debt — although
extra prudence is needed here.
These are long-term investments
where the borrower expects to own the
asset for a long period of time in order
to benefit from appreciation over the
years.
What has happened over the last sev-
eral years in the housing market is that
many people used debt with the hope of
making short-term profits. While some
people succeed at timing the market in
this way, most get burned.
When borrowing to buy a home or
investment property, make sure you are
making good decisions for the long run,
and that you have adequate cash re-
serves to withstand slower times.
Auto Loans and
Home Improvement
Let’s consider a few other common
purchases we make with borrowed
money: automobiles and home repairs
or improvements.
Once again, when we consider taking
on these kinds of debts, we must return
to the basic principle of only borrowing
to purchase an appreciating asset.
Do these purchases tend to increase
in value after you acquire them? With
cars, certainly not! A new car depreci-
ates in value the minute you drive it out
of the dealer lot. And with most home
improvements, the answer is the same
— many of these purchases drop in
value over time.
Rather than borrowing and paying
years’ worth of interest for these pur-
chases, it’s much wiser to be patient.
Begin a monthly savings program and
plan to pay cash.
Everyday Expenses
What about using credit cards to
PHOTO: CARD, SHUTTERSTOCK.
make regular purchases? There is noth-
ing inherently wrong with credit cards.
It’s how we use them that counts. If you
are using them to pay for budgeted
items and paying the balance in full
every month, then you are using them
wisely. But if you are using credit cards
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
to buy things that you can’t afford, or
that aren’t part of your overall financial
plan, then you are creating a credit
problem — especially if you aren’t pay-
ing the balance in full every month.
Ask yourself this: When was the last
time I bought something with my cred-
it card that has increased in value over
time? Borrowing with credit cards or
through installment loans are some of
the most unproductive types of debt in
use today.
Emergency Fund
Perhaps you are reading this article
too late. What can you do if you find
yourself already saddled with a great
deal of “unproductive” debt?
Your best bet is to develop a plan to
eliminate it as soon as possible. But first
and foremost, I would advise you to es-
tablish an emergency fund. Save bit by
bit if you have to, but try to put aside at
least $2,000 in an “emergency fund” be-
fore you start a debt repayment plan.
The reason for this is simple: We all
know that Murphy’s Law is going to
strike. You’ll begin a debt repayment
program and right away something will
go wrong with the car, or you’ll have a
surprise medical bill that will throw
your repayment strategy off track. With
an emergency fund in place, you can
begin a repayment program and keep
moving forward, even if Murphy’s Law
tries to trip you up.
Accelerator
Repayment Plan
Once you’re ready to make the com-
mitment to repayment of your unpro-
ductive debt, it’s time to get serious
about an “accelerator repayment plan.”
The idea is to get aggressive about
eliminating debt by carving out of your
budget an amount that is well beyond
your monthly minimum payments.
If you are paying the minimum bal-
ance on your debts, you’ll have them for
a long time, and you’ll pay thousands in
interest that you should be saving.
How long it will take to pay off your
debts will depend on your own circum-
stances, but with some short-term sacri-
fice, you can be free of the bondage you
feel when in debt. You can register for a
free My Veritas Plan at my website to
learn more about how an “accelerator
repayment plan” works. The website is
VeritasFinancialMinistries.com.
Make Compound
Earnings Work for You
One of the keys to understanding how
to grow financial resources for your fu-
ture needs is the concept of “compound
earnings.” When you save and invest,
you put “compound earnings” to use for
you by accumulating interest over time.
But if you are buried in unproductive
debt, the financial institutions are bene-
fiting from “compound earnings” and
you are paying them! It’s like trying to
swim upstream against very strong
rapids. Isn’t it time you turned that situ-
ation around and started benefiting
yourself?
I encourage you to get on the road to
true financial freedom today by elimi-
nating your unproductive debt and be-
coming the steward of providence that
the Lord is calling you to be. Whatever
your current woes, seek out the support
you need to take charge of your finan-
cial situation. You and your family have
only true happiness and financial free-
dom to gain.✥
Phil Lenahan is president of
Veritas Financial Ministries and
author of 7 Steps to Becoming Finan-
cially Free: A Catholic Small Group
Study (Our Sunday Visitor).
33
 A Story of Post-Communist Russia
BY TOM HOOPES

T
Christmases.
he Miracle of Saint Nicholas is one of those
books that aligns all the stars of Christmas for
me, and drives the whole Catholic experience
home in a way little else can.
You see, there are Christmases and then there are

First, there’s Dec. 25. That’s when the Church — and

the culture, too, still, to an extent — exerts its energies to
get us to think of God and our lives in a whole new way. I’m
a sucker for the trappings of Christmas. Like Pavlov’s dog,
whether I’m distracted, disturbed, or dubious, the sound of
jingle bells always reawakens that old familiar longing.
But then there are Christmas experiences that happen
in our lives at unexpected times. These are moments or
hours or days when we see Christ as something more real,
and our lives as something more consequential, than we
ever suspected. It’s great when a retreat does that. But
the retreat is trying to do that. What’s best is when life pres-
ents you with your own private Dec. 25 that you never saw
coming.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 35
 was Gjon Sinishta. He
was an intense, quiet
Albanian with a gray
beard and a wise face.
He looked like the old
A lexi decides he
will be the one
to clean up the church.
cobbler in The Miracle
of Saint Nicholas — and He chases out the
hid a secret that was just
as explosive. “dancing mice” and
I interviewed him for
our school paper in col- cleans the frost off the
lege, and slowly got
drawn into his personal windows.
quest.
Gjon had been a
seminarian in Albania he eventually made it to San Francisco
in the mid 1960s when and St. Ignatius Church. He fulfilled his
the communist regime bessa by producing The Albanian Catholic
came in and took over Bulletin, a quarterly bound book hun-
his seminary. They dreds of pages long.
dragged the priests Gjon published it in English, using his
The Christmas in The Miracle of Saint away and locked the students up in a own money and whatever donations he
Nicholas aligns those two experiences in room. They would shoot the priests and could scrape together, but he didn’t
an unexpected way. It’s about the trap- eventually force the seminarians to dig a speak English very well. That’s where I
pings and Christ himself returning, to- mass grave to throw the bodies in. But in came in.
gether, to a little village in post-commu- the dark of that room on the first night, I would sit next to him at a long table
nist Russia … on Dec. 25 at midnight. Gjon Sinishta made a solemn promise — in the round sacristy under the giant
The day before Christmas, Alexi asks: a bessa. An Albanian bessa is a serious dome of the church, and convert his bro-
“Babushka, why is our church closed?” commitment of life. Legends say serious ken English translation of Albanian
“Soldiers came to our village,” comes souls will return from the Catholic history into U.S. English-
the answer. “They did not like churches. dead, if they must, to ful- major English (though not par-
They did not want people to believe in fill a bessa. ticularly well, I’ve discovered
God. They warned the villagers, ‘If we If he ever made it by reading old issues). I
find you in your church we will arrest out of Albania, Gjon began the work in De-
you and send you far away.’” promised, he would cember, for Christmas
But the soldiers are long gone, the boy tell the world what money, but once drawn
says. “Why can’t we celebrate Christmas the communists into an Albanian’s bessa,
tomorrow in St. Nicholas?” were doing. there is no easy way to
“The church has been empty for 60 He did make back out. It became
years,” the Babushka says. “You cannot it out of Al- one of my main
celebrate Christmas in a church with an bania, and sources of income.
empty altar, with no cross, no candles,
no bread or wine, no icon of St.
Nicholas, and no priest.”
The story — and the town’s
Christmas — build slowly from
there.
The book evokes my own
unplanned Christmas mo-
ments in the sacristy of St.
Ignatius Church in De-
cember 1989.
Until his death in
1995, the sacristan there

36 FAITH & FAMILY


T hat night, at midnight, Alexi goes to the church.
One by one, the villagers come, too.
Weird light would filter in through
high windows, and I had to sit carefully
to keep from kicking the crown of thorns
on a giant armless corpus of Christ that
was kept under the table. It all added to
the feeling that we were doing some-
thing subversive and consequential. We
were reproducing documents that the
communists were destroying, publishing
them and sending them to libraries
across the free world.
We wrote “The History of the
Franciscans in Albania” from documents
smuggled out and sent to Gjon. We
wrote the legends of Skanderbeg, the
great Albanian warrior who was kid-
napped by Muslim terrorists as a boy,
but turned against them at the climactic
point of a crusader battle.
And in between, Gjon would tell me
stories.
He told me about how the bishops of
Albania were forced to dress as clowns
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
and clean public toilets, to humiliate
them in the eyes of the people.
He told me how the churches were
gutted and turned into museums of athe-
ism. When that happened, families took
the vestments and the religious vessels
and hid them in their homes.
The Albanian government was deter-
mined to root religion out of its people,
so government storm troops conducted
raids on homes in 1967 to get the reli-
gious articles back.
Gjon told me the story of one man
who watched his house ransacked by
guards. They found a chalice, and put it
in their bag. They found a crucifix, and
put it in their bag. They found a cross
from a necklace, and put that in their
bag, too. They left the home a wreck and
went on their way. Sputtering with
anger, he ran after them.
“Here’s one cross you can’t take
away!” he shouted, and when they
turned to watch, he made the sign of the
cross with his hand.
That same resilient faith drives The
Miracle of Saint Nicholas. At Christmas,
Christ came to be with his people forev-
er. His coming planted something in
people so deep that it can’t be stripped
away. It can’t be persecuted out of them,
at least not for long. It might be forced
into dormancy for 60 years. It might
struggle for 60 more years after that.
But, like evergreen trees in the winter,
Christ never really goes away.
In the story, Alexi decides he will be
the one to clean up the church. He chas-
es out the “dancing mice” and cleans the
frost off the windows. The villagers are
curious, and he tells them all why he’s
undertaken this Herculean task: “So we
can celebrate Christmas in the church
tomorrow.”
THE MIRACLE OF
ST. NICHOLAS
By Gloria Whelan
Illustrated by Judith Brown
Bethlehem Books
That night, at midnight, Alexi goes to
the church. One by one, the villagers
come, too. The farmer, the carpenter, his
babushka, and above all the cobbler, all
contribute to Alexi’s plan.
Like Gjon Sinishta, each has kept a se-
cret for all those years. And each made a
promise — a bessa, at baptism — that
they almost can’t help but fulfill.
The end of that story always gets me.
Way more than jingle bells ever could.✥
37
 THE SEASON

“YEAR’S END IS

NEITHER AN END NOR

A BEGINNING, BUT

GOING ON, WITH ALL

THE WISDOM THAT

EXPERIENCE

CAN INSTILL IN US.”

— Hal Borland

The
YEAR ENDS
PHOTO: JUPITER IMAGES.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 39
 ...............................................................................................................................................................................................
Feasts, Traditions … and Fun

Nov. 1 ALL SAINTS’ DAY

• For little ones: Make adorable
Spoon Saints Dolls with wooden ice
cream spoons (available in crafts
stores), markers, and scraps of cloth.
See AliceGunther.com. Click on
“Cottage Blessings,” “Archives,” and
then “Spoon Saints Craft.”
27 THANKSGIVING
• Make grace before or after meals spe-
cial this year — and maybe start a new
tradition — by singing one verse of an
appropriate hymn. “Now Thank We All
Our God,” “Praise God From Whom
All Blessings Flow,” and “Holy God We
Praise Thy Name” are well known and
have no difficult high notes.
• Families tend to like the same, tradi-
tional recipes year after year, but Mom
likes to try something new once in a
while. Compromise by trying only one
innovation, rather than lots.
Cranberry/Orange Relish is tastier
than canned sauce. But keep the
canned stuff on hand for the hard-core
conservatives in your family.

More Faith and Family Days

in November
• Whole family: Recite the Litany
Cranberry/Orange Relish
of the Saints. Add on any family
2 patrons or other favorite saint that
the official litany leaves out. If you
1 bag cranberries
2 navel oranges (including peel),
cut in wedges
All Souls don’t have this in a prayer book,
2 cups of sugar
Visit your loved ones who passed away. see FaithandFamilyLIVE.com
“Resources.” Process in blender or food processor

PHOTOS: ADVENT WREATH, SHUTTERSTOCK; RELISH, JUPITER IMAGES;

23 — Daria Sockey — Daria Sockey

Christ the King

Say a prayer to Christ the King (see
Your own faith and family traditions in November.
FaithandFamilyLIVE.com “Resources”).


30
SPOON SAINT, ALICE M. GUNTHER.


First Sunday in Advent
Collect greens for your Advent wreath.

40 FAITH & FAMILY

 ..............................................................................................................................................................................................
Feasts, Traditions … and Fun
8 THE SOLEMNITY OF
THE IMMACULATE
CONCEPTION
• Go to Mass for the Holy Day of
Obligation.
• Watch The Song of Bernadette as a
family. Our Lady told St. Bernadette:
“I am the Immaculate Conception.”
Today’s solemnity marks the end of
the 150th anniversary year of Our
Lady’s apparitions to St. Bernadette
Soubirous in 1858.
• Serve white (symbolizing purity)
pretzels during the movie:
Ingredients
6 (1-ounce) squares white chocolate
15-ounce package mini twist pretzels
Directions
Melt white chocolate in the top of a double
boiler, stirring constantly.
Dip pretzel at least halfway into the white
chocolate, covering the pretzel, and lay on wax
paper. Continue the process until all of the
white chocolate is finished. Place pretzels in
refrigerator for 15 minutes to harden. Store in
airtight container.
— Maryan Vander Woude
Your own faith and family traditions in December.

PHOTOS: STOCKINGS, BOTANICA/NEWSCOM.
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
25 C HRISTMAS
• Try to learn and incorporate the
Angelus prayer in your home. The
Dec.
Angelus bells on a church usually ring More Faith and Family Days
at 6 a.m., noon, and 6 p.m. Trying to in December
say it once a day at dinner is a good
way to start. If you have a bell in your
home and an eager bell ringer, you
can imitate the bells on a church.
12
Our Lady of Guadalupe
The Angelus Visit the Shrine of Our Lady at
GuadalupeShrine.org
V. The Angel of the Lord declared unto
Mary.
R. And she conceived of the Holy
Spirit.
28
Hail, Mary, full of grace, etc.
The Holy Family
Pray the Joyful Mysteries today.
V. Behold the handmaid of the Lord.
R. Be it done unto me according to thy
word.
Hail Mary.
29
V. And the Word was made flesh. St. Thomas Becket
R. And dwelt among us. Mom and Dad, watch Becket for your
Hail Mary. date night.
V. Pray for us, O holy Mother of God.
R. That we may be made worthy of
the promises of Christ.
Let us pray. Pour forth, we beseech
thee, O Lord, thy grace into our
hearts; that we, to whom the incarna-
tion of Christ, thy Son, was made
known by the message of an angel,
may by his passion and cross be
brought to the glory of his resurrec-
tion. Through the same Christ, our
Lord.
Amen.
— Maryan Vander Woude
41
 Portable Prayer Life Chapels
CreaƟng InspiraƟonal Worship Spaces

You can now enjoy a turnkey chapel that creates a prayerful, aīordable, and beauƟful worship
environment. Enjoy the versaƟlity of transforming any room, gym, cafeteria, or oĸce space instantly.
A full line of opƟons is now available to customize your turnkey chapel. OpƟons include furniture,
altar cloths and banners, candles, and more.

Portable Prayer Life Chapels are perfect for:

Churches: AdoraƟon Chapels, Altar of Repose, Prayer Services, First Friday Holy Hour, Rosary
Religious EducaƟon: Children’s Liturgy of the Word, Prayer Services, Children’s Message
Schools, Hospitals, Military Bases, Homes, Chapels, Retreat or ConvenƟon Centers, Weddings,
Funerals, Religious ConvenƟons

1256 West Lathrop Road 353 209-234-7400; TF: 888-983-4100

Manteca, CA 95336 URL: www.portablechapels.com

BY he
t soul’s abandonment by God.
BOOKCanonist Dominican Father Juan-Diego
Brunetta answers questions about official
Church practice. He is the director of
Catholic Information Services for the
Knights of Columbus. Homework — Send
your question. Contact information, page 6.
QUESTION:
On prayer for the dead
When I list names of people I want
prayed for on All Souls’ Day and
throughout the month of Novem-
ber, I include all “close” relatives,
no matter how long they have been
dead or their “status” with the
Church when they died. How long
should I pray for these souls? What
about family members who were
not regular church-goers or not
even baptized Christians?
ANSWER:
Praying for the dead is an ancient
tradition in the Church, and indeed
is based in Scripture from Second
Maccabees to St. Paul. In the Dog-
matic Constitution of the Church
from the Second Vatican Council, the
council Fathers taught: “For all who
are in Christ, having his Spirit, form
one Church and cleave together in
him. Therefore the union of the way-
farers with the brethren who have
gone to sleep in the peace of Christ
is not in the least weakened or inter-
rupted, but on the contrary, according
to the perpetual faith of the Church, is
PHOTO: CATHOLIC TRANSCRIPT.
strengthened by communication of
spiritual goods.
“Fully conscious of this communion
of the whole Mystical Body of Jesus
Christ, the pilgrim Church from the
very first ages of the Christian religion
has cultivated with great piety the
memory of the dead, and ‘because it is
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
a holy and wholesome thought to pray
for the dead that they may be loosed
from their sins’ also offers suffrages
for them” (Nos. 49-50).
But how much suffrage is enough?
This is a question that is not answered
in any absolute way in sacred Scripture
or Tradition. It is revealed to us that
the dead benefit from our prayers; yet
God does not reveal when our acts of
piety have accomplished that which
we intend. Therefore we need some
practical principles to direct our pious
practice.
1. We immediately encounter diffi-
culty when we speak of the “time” one
might spend in purification after death,
or “how long” we need to pray for a
deceased person. We have only one
experience of being people in time,
yet we know from sacred Scripture
that God does not account time as we
do (2 Peter 3:8-10). We simply do not
know the experience or duration of
purgatory. In charity, one should pray
for the dead, and it is a pious custom
to remember the dead during the
month of November. Apart from that,
we use prudence and common sense.
We must each do what we can in
truth, charity, and piety, depending
upon our personal circumstances and
abilities.
2. We must also remember that
salvation does not in any way depend
upon us. Christ’s death is sufficient for
the salvation of all. As the Letter to
the Hebrews teaches us, “Christ died
once for all” (Hebrews 10:10). Thus
any defect on our part in praying for
the dead will not be the cause of a
3. The efficacy of prayer for the
dead is not limited to Catholic Chris-
tians. The Church has always taught
that salvation is first wrought through
the saving waters of baptism. Thus,
it is perfectly in keeping with the
Church’s ancient practice to pray for
all deceased Christians. In charity
we should also pray for the deceased
who have not explicitly accepted the
life of grace in Christ, and remind
ourselves that only God truly reads
the human heart.
4. In the Mass, the Church is con-
stantly praying for the deceased. It is
not that any one of us prays for the
deceased “alone,” but the entire
Church prays, “from the rising of
the sun to its setting.” It is instructive
then to examine the breadth of the
several petitions contained in the four
main Eucharistic prayers of the Mass.
For instance: “Remember our brothers
and sisters who have gone to their rest
in the hope of rising again; bring them
and all the departed into the light of
your presence.”
In a special way in November, we
do what we do year round. We com-
mit to the mercy of God all who died;
we pray for the forgiveness of their
sins, the consolation of their families,
and their entrance into the beatific
vision. Nothing more is possible;
nothing less will do. ✣
Eternal Rest
Many families say this prayer,
from the Compendium of the
Catechism, as part of grace
before or after meals, or when
passing a cemetery. The prayer
does not specify any particular
deceased, or presume any status
of those it prays for.
Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon them.
May they rest in peace. Amen.
43
 CHResources is excited
to introduce Dr. Kenneth
Howell’s intriguing
translation, and theological
commentary on the writings
of Saint Ignatius.
Just see what is being said
about this book:

As a life long admirer of Ignatius, I welcome

Dr. Howell’s new translation and commentary.
For all serious Christians interested in the early
church, this book is a must, but especially for
Evangelical Protestants who are now discovering
the post apostolic Church. This new edition will
open many doors for true ecumenical dialogue
between Evangelical, Catholic, and Orthodox
serious disciples of Christ. It is also powerful
spiritual reading.

Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR

Contact your local bookstore to pre-order your copy now!

The Coming Home Network International chnetwork.org PO Box 8290 Zanesville, Ohio, 43701 800.664.5110
 A CHRISTMAS SONG BY CLAUDIA ROSSETTI, 1872
PHOTO: RÉUNION DES MUSÉES NATIONAUX/ART RESOURCE, N.Y.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 45
 PHOTO: SCALA/ART RESOURCE, N.Y.

46
PHOTO: ERICH LESSING/ART RESOURCE, N.Y. F&F GRAPHIC PRESENTATION.
In t
he Bleak Midwinter

FAITH & FAMILY

 In the bleak midwinter
Frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron,
Water like a stone;
Snow had fallen,
Snow on snow,
Snow on snow,
In the bleak midwinter,
Long ago.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 47
 In t
he Bleak Midwinter
PHOTO: ERICH LESSING/ART RESOURCE, N.Y.

Our God, heaven cannot hold him,

Nor earth sustain;
Heaven and earth shall flee away
When he comes to reign;
In the bleak midwinter
A stable place sufficed
The Lord God incarnate,
Jesus Christ.

PHOTO: RÉUNION DES MUSÉES NATIONAUX/ART RESOURCE, N.Y.

48 FAITH & FAMILY

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 49
 PHOTO: ERICH LESSING/ART RESOURCE, N.Y.

50
In t
he Bleak Midwinter

FAITH & FAMILY

 PHOTO: SCALA/ART RESOURCE, N.Y.
Enough for him, whom cherubim
Worship night and day
A breast full of milk
And a manger full of hay.
Enough for him, whom angels
Fall down before,
The ox and ass and camel
which adore.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 51
 In t
he Bleak Midwinter

Angels and archangels

May have gathered there,
Cherubim and seraphim
Thronged the air;

PHOTOS: BILDARCHIV PREUSSISCHER KULTURBESITZ/ART RESOURCE, N.Y.

52 FAITH & FAMILY

 But his mother only,
In her maiden bliss,
Worshipped the Beloved
With a kiss.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 53
In t
he Bleak Midwinter

PHOTO: ALINARI/ART RESOURCE, N.Y.

What can I give him, If I were a wise man

Poor as I am? I would do my part,
If I were a shepherd Yet what can I give him —
I would bring a lamb, Give my heart.

54 FAITH & FAMILY

Stephen Lenahan chose Franciscan University for one reason.
“Because I wanted the true college experience, but I also wanted one that was going
to be fulfilling,” he explains.
Has he found what he was looking for?
“Definitely,” he says. “The professors have all been amazing. And it’s great to
have friendships that are based on the desire to serve one another instead of
what you can get out of the relationship.”
The highlight of Stephen’s time at Franciscan thus far is the semester he spent
living in the restored fourteenth-century monastery that houses Franciscan’s
study abroad program in Gaming, Austria. Living in Austria and traveling
though Europe on the weekends was in Stephen’s words “simply amazing.”
Now that he’s back on campus, Stephen serves as a Resident Assistant in one
of Franciscan’s undergraduate residence halls.
“An RA here is not someone who sits behind a desk and checks your ID,” says
Stephen. “We’re here to check in on students when they’re homesick and pray with
them when they’re struggling. It’s more of a ministry than anything else.”
What advice does Stephen have for students considering applying to
Franciscan University?
“Come here for a visit. Then go visit other schools. Once you’ve seen
what else is out there, you’ll realize the difference.”
Stephen Lenahan
Hometown: Peachtree City, Georgia
Majors: Catechetics and Theology

ACADEMICALLY CHALLENGING
PASSIONATELY CATHOLIC
WWW.FRANCISCAN.EDU • 800-783-6220
Admits qualified students of any race, color, national and ethnic origin, disability, and sex.

Matthew Connors
Digitally Pro-Life
Matthew Connors, age 19
PHOTOS: SCREEN, ISTOCK; MATTHEW, COURTESY OF THE FAMILY.
NO ONE KNEW better than Pope John
Paul II the importance of using the
media to proclaim the Gospel. It’s a les-
son some young people are absorbing
and answering.
“I always wanted to tell stories through
film,” says 19-year-old college sopho-
more Matthew Connors. Looking for a
school last year, he found John Paul the
Great University in San Diego, Calif. —
a school for Catholics in the media,
whose aim it is to “shape innovators and
creators, leaders and entrepreneurs at the
intersections of business, technology and
communications media.”
Matthew liked joining storytelling on
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
BY JOSEPH PRONECHEN
film and theology “into one package to
evangelize and entertain,” he says. Right
from the get-go as a freshman, he got to
work on several big projects, like a video
from the San Diego Diocese to welcome
Pope Benedict XVI during his 2008 U.S.
trip.
“After I finished that film,” says
Matthew, “I thought, ‘I’m a freshman
and already able to implement my faith
in a film.’ That was incredible to me.”
Next, he worked with students for a
group called Friends of Sarah. They
filmed short commercial spots in support
of the Sarah’s Law initiative that is to
appear on this November’s state ballot.
The initiative would require that parents
be informed if their daughter is seeking
an abortion.
“As Catholics, we fight against abor-
EVERYDAY APOSTLES
tion 24-7,” says Matthew, “and this is a
big jump we can make to fight the whole
issue.” The videos countered those being
shown by Planned Parenthood and aired
on YouTube, MySpace, and Facebook.
He and a friend also filmed a short
pro-life video for the first Cinema Vita
Film Festival in San Francisco in March.
Called For the Best, the story was about a
girl choosing life. He also hosted the first
student-run Giuseppe Awards Film
Festival at John Paul the Great this year.
His ideal goal is to be a screenwriter,
writing great morals and Gospel teaching
into a film everyone can enjoy — “a
blockbuster with great action and dia-
logue,” he says, “that underneath it all
has the great moral and faith lessons that
easily connect to Catholic teachings and
the Church.”
57
EVERYDAY APOSTLES
Genevieve Morlino
THE LATEST VERSION of Robin Hood made
its premiere one year ago in Danbury,
Conn., with a cast of more than 50. The
overflow crowd cheered the acting, castle
settings, and strong Catholic themes.
Executive producer Genevieve Morlino,
then 12 years old, was thrilled.
This film was the second she worked
on with her dad Jim Morlino, her family,
and her friends. In 2006, with about 30
children, they filmed Redwall, an adapta-
tion of the principal book in a series she
and her sister had read.
With nearly double the cast, Robin
Hood was summer 2007’s ambitious pro-
duction, and everyone had fun working
on a truly faith-filled theme.
“We wanted to make it very Catholic,”
says Genevieve. “We did a lot of re-
Reach teens with the faith: OurFaithInAction.org • Homework. Tell us about an Everyday Apostle. Contact info., page 6.
58
Merry Band of Apostles
Genevieve Morlino, age 13
search, read books, and learned that in
the Middle Ages people were Catholic,
priests were important, and religion was a
very, very important part of daily life.”
Her mother Fran observed that the
children learned about a society where
everyone calls on the Blessed Mother and
St. Michael to help against evil.
The video involved the Crusades as a
big theme, too, because Genevieve found
that, in some accounts of the Robin Hood
legend, Robin of Locksley was a returning
Crusader who fights for justice. Gene-
vieve’s version starts with him in the Holy
Land saving the life of King Richard.
“We had King Richard tell Robin
Hood he had to go back and make sure
everything was right,” she explains. Not
an outlaw and thief, Robin Hood is
instead given “permission to make sure
the people of Nottingham were safe.”
In these projects, Genevieve describes
herself as “my dad’s faithful right-hand
PHOTOS: GENEVIEVE AND FILM STILLS, COURTESY OF THE FAMILY.
man.” Dad Jim does the filming (he works
making videos), while she, as executive
producer, runs the crew and costuming.
She generously credits her mom and
many others with making it all possible.
In honor of the 150th Anniversary of
Mary’s appearance to Bernadette in
Lourdes, Genevieve’s next film project
will be The Story of St. Bernadette.
Learning the faith, sharing it with oth-
ers in an annual film production, and
having fun while making it. What could
be better? Genevieve summarizes beauti-
fully, “What we’re trying to do is make
beautiful things for God.”
FAITH & FAMILY

Danny Gonzalez
A DEGREE IN accounting doesn’t appear
to be what a young independent video
producer would earn in college, but don’t
PHOTO: CAMERA, SHUTTERSTOCK; DANNY, COURTESY OF THE FAMILY.
tell that to Danny Gonzalez. The 24-year-
old used it to open his own video compa-
ny, Optimum Productions (Optimum
Productions.net), in spring 2007 in Atlanta.
The idea for it had an unlikely start.
Right after high school, halfway through
a year in Mexico with Regnum Christi,
the Legion of Christ’s movement of
apostolate, Danny was ready to give up
and transfer to a city in the United
States. Then he recalled God saying to
him before leaving for Mexico, “This is
going to be your training. It’s going to be
a lot tougher that you think.”
God must have something in store,
Danny thought. “That changed my life,
and I knew it would shape the rest of my
life.” Right after that he met a Legionary
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
Optimum Medium
Danny Gonzalez
priest making virtues videos who inspired
him to do the same.
Danny’s first production was An
Opportunity for Charity, a 10-minute film
in Spanish about a boy who is unskilled at
soccer and shunned by everybody.
Another boy reaches out to help him, and
the outcast comes back to score against
the best players. It was a hit with fourth
and fifth graders.
Back in Atlanta as a ConQuest boys’
club team leader, Danny repeated the
theme using basketball, then turned out
several more videos. Soon he went to
World Youth Day in Germany to direct a
promotional video for the Vocation.com
Coffee House.
At that point, says Danny, “I started
praying and wondering if this is what
God wanted me to do.”
The door opened. He started his com-
EVERYDAY APOSTLES
pany. People flew him to Vail, Colo., and
Dallas to film weddings. He was hired for
many projects and promotional videos.
“What I want to do is to work in the
secular market and use the talents and
gifts I have to evangelize,” Danny
explains, “but not in an overly preachy
manner.”
Rather, like St. Francis.
What does Danny think of this sur-
prising direction? “None of this is me.
It’s all God,” he says. “It’s a tremendous
amount of blessings and grace I receive
from him, because in no way could I do
this. If he wants something to happen,
he’s opening the doors for me.”
Open wide the doors to Christ, and he will
open them wide for you.
Staff writer Joseph Pronechen writes
from Trumbull, Connecticut.
59
 The essentials of
Catholic doctrine
T wo years before he died, St. Thomas Aquinas
was asked by his assistant, Brother Reginald, to
write a simple summary of the Faith of the Catholic
Church for those who lacked the time or the stamina
to tackle his massive Summa Theologica.
So the saint quickly set
down — in clear language
non-scholars can under-
stand — his insights into the
major topics of theology:
the Trinity, Providence,
the Incarnation, the Last
Judgment, and much more.
Here, then, is not only St.
Thomas’s own concise
statement of the key ele-
ments of his thought, but a
Aquinas’s Shorter Summa handy reference source
by St. Thomas Aquinas for the essential truths of
$22.95 • 432 pgs the Catholic Faith.
LOVE, HONOR, CHERISH , AND
EVEN UNDERSTAND!
I n marriage, both spouses need to understand the four
classic temperaments — the fundamental personality
traits, hard-wired into us at birth, that affect the way we
respond to the world around us. For only by recognizing
our own patterns of reaction, and those of our spouse, can
we nurture, respect, and love each other with the selfless
patience to which Christ calls us in the sacrament.
That’s why you need The Temperament God Gave Your
The Temperament God Spouse, the new book that draws on real-life anecdotes,
Gave Your Spouse Catholic wisdom, practical psychology, and decades of
Art & Laraine clinical experience to show you:
Bennett The four kinds of spouses — which did you marry?
208 pgs pbk How temperament affects the way you both
$16.95 work, pray, argue, socialize, and show affection
Ways to develop the communication skills your
temperament needs, and nurture them in your spouse
All the possible temperament combinations in
marriage, & how to handle the unique challenges
that yours creates

The Book of Plus: much more!

These wise pages show that true marital happiness lies
SAINTS & HER O ES not in changing the way God made our loved ones, but
in appreciating it — and helping them to perfect it.

F rom Andrew Lang, the 19th century’s foremost collector

of fairy tales, come these fascinating tales of the saints.
Some are true, others improbable, but all are entertaining.
Order today: The Temperament God
Gave Your Spouse; and discover a new
Here your kids will meet the saint who spent seven world of understanding and
Easters on a whale’s back and the lion who was St. respect for the person you
Jerome’s friend. They’ll see St. George fight the dragon married.
and read about the fierce wolf Francis of Assisi converted.
But many of these stories have
in them scarcely a wave of the
fairy wand: here are true tales of great
saints like St. Vincent de Paul,
St. Elizabeth of Hungary,
St. Louis of France,
and St. Francis Xavier,
— souls marked by
piety, kindness, and
courage.
These marvelous legends
and exciting true stories of
Christian saints and heroes will
provide many hours of delightful
reading to believers and
non-believers alike! The Book of
Saints and Heroes
Andrew Lang & Leonora Lang
$24.95 336 pages Illus. hdcvr

Offer ends
12/31/08 Sophia Institute Press
®
25% WEB DISCOUNT Offer ends
12/31/08
Box 5284, Manchester, NH 03108 USE CODE 0811i1F6 AT CHECKOUT

1-800-888-9344 www.SophiaInstitute.com
 Catholic Moms Find and Share the Faith Online
PHOTOS: GLOBE AN MOM IN KITCHEN, JUPITER IMAGES; MOMS CENTER TOP AND
BOTTOM, NEWSCOM; MOM EXTREME LEFT, SHUTTERSTOCK.
BY RACHEL SWENSON BALDUCCI
I
was blogging long before Danielle Bean invited me
to join her and the other bloggers at this magazine’s
FaithandFamilyLIVE.com site.
Four years ago, I sat down at my computer and started
a blog. At the time, I had four boys — ages 2, 4, 6, and 8
— and was feeling a bit weary. My point, I decided,
would be to take these stories that would otherwise make
me cry — like the time they threw underwear from a sec-
ond-story window into a bucket on the ground below —
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
and figure out how to laugh instead. Once I started to
write online, I found that it was very therapeutic — for
me and a whole host of other women with boys.
The Vatican repeatedly urges Catholics to evangelize
online. One 76-year-old cardinal said he does not fully
understand the Internet, but knows it is a new way to
show people the “true Jesus.”
At FaithandFamilyLIVE.com and elsewhere, Catholic
moms are doing their best to do that. And it’s working.
61
Computer Conversion While she feels God would have eventu- Shauna and her husband, John, were
Jennifer Fulwiler of Austin, Texas, is a ally led them there, Jennifer credits the coming to terms with their infertility.
Catholic who started a blog for the pur- Internet with making that conversion The couple, who have been married
pose of conversion — her own. happen sooner. 13 years, started trying to conceive just
“Originally I was exploring religions,” Since becoming Catholic, the tone before their third anniversary.
says Jennifer, who was raised an atheist and focus of Jennifer’s website have “Six months went by,” said Shauna,
and was on a quest to learn about Chris- changed. She now uses her blog to talk “and nothing happened. I started read-
ing everything I could get my hands on.
Another six months, and no one had any
“I’ve been moved by the Holy Spirit to share my explanation.”
After a year of not getting pregnant,
experiences. That’s the purpose of the blog now.” Shauna and John got serious with their
research. They began to investigate and
tianity. “I didn’t even know how I’d go about her adventures as a new Christian, pursue treatments, and quickly realized
about meeting a Christian in real life. I and as a stay-at-home mom to her three they didn’t fully know what the Church
grew up without going to church, and young children. taught — they never thought they
initially I did not feel comfortable set- “I didn’t even believe in God as a would need to. In the midst of her re-
ting foot in a church.” child,” she explains. “If you can imagine search, Shauna came across an online
So Fulwiler, who has a background in going from that background to fully be- support group.
Web development, started a blog in lieving in God and the Catholic Church “That group became a great source of
2005 in order to ask questions. From — it’s hard to describe the beauty and support, people trying to be faithful to
online forums she frequented, Jennifer wonder that God has opened to me. I’ve what the Church teaches and trying to
actively recruited commenters she saw felt moved by the Holy Spirit to share deal with infertility,” she says. “Infertili-
as “the Christians doing a good job of my experiences. That’s the purpose of ty tends to be something you don’t talk
defending their religion.” the blog now.” about with everybody.”
“That is directly responsible for our After several years of general testing
conversion to Catholicism,” she says. Seeking Support and fertility treatments, meetings with
“I’d throw out every tough question, When Shauna Occhipinti turned to specialists, and the possibility of more
and the Catholics would answer.” the Internet, she was looking for support advanced procedures, Shauna was ex-
Jennifer and her husband, Joe, came on a topic she wasn’t ready to discuss hausted. She had also slowly made peace
into the Church at Easter in 2007. with her close-knit, real-life community. with the idea of adoption.
“I wanted to be a mother,” she said. “I
knew if God placed that desire on my
heart, he had a plan for us.”
BLOGGING BASICS Eventually, Shauna and John began to
Want to start your own blog? Here are a few Dos and Don’ts to keep in mind. pursue adoption. They are now the
proud parents of twin boys, Ethan and
DO: Connor, 3 1/2. Shauna’s time on the In-
Think about why. Are you starting a blog for support, as a journal, as a
lifeline?
Check with your spouse. Make sure he (or she) is on board with you
publicly sharing your life. INTERNET DEFINITIONS
Have fun! A blog can be a therapeutic way to put frustrations into per- Blog: an online journal, the word
spective and meet wonderful people. “blog” is a shortened version of “Web
log”
DON’T: Forums: discussion boards on the
Try too hard to be popular. Focus on what you want to offer your read- Internet; participants are members of
ers instead. an online community
Air dirty laundry. Whether it’s about your spouse and kids or your Support Groups: websites where
neighbors, it’s poor form. people can gather and discuss shared
Lose focus. Never forget that your primary responsibility is your family interests and seek support for similar
— not your blog. The Internet comes second (or maybe third, or fourth …) situations

62 FAITH & FAMILY

 The Stories Behind The #1 Top Rated Movie of 2007!

behind bella
P
rofusely illustrated with photos from the acclaimed film Bella and of those
involved with and affected by it, this beautiful deluxe volume provides
a behind-the-scenes look into the award-winning movie from Metanoia
Films. Much more than the usual book about a movie, it presents compelling
and powerful never-before-told stories from the producers, director, actors and
others involved in the film’s production. It also movingly reveals the deep im-
pact that a motion picture can make on its audience.
With its beautiful life-affirming story, Bella has had a life-changing affect on “An amazing and unforgettable story
many people, and this book tells the remarkable true stories of how numerous that will deeply move you.”
lives were transformed, some even saved, through the powerful message of the —Kathi Lee Gifford,
film. The lavish photos and the book’s moving messages make this a treasured THE TODAY SHOW
keepsake and perfect gift book.
BBEL-H . . . Large 8.25 x 10.75 Hardcover, Illustrated, 145 pages, $17.95 “A story that will stay
Lavishly illustrated with many photos from the movie! with you forever.”
—Maria Salas,
Large 8.25 x 10.75 Coffee-table edition!
NBC MIAMI

Get the DVD plus the Book and save!

DVD & Book set: BSET-M . . . $34.95

SAMPLE IMAGES

ALSO AVAILABLE! Bella (DVD)

T
he acclaimed, award-winning theatrical hit that tells the moving and life-affirming
story about a beautiful waitress in a New York City restaurant facing a crisis preg-
nancy and unemployment, and the loving support she receives from a kind man with
a mysterious past seeking to heal deep wounds of his own. Many Special Features, including “the
making of” segment, interviews with director and film stars, film trailer, and much more! This DVD contains the
following language options: English with optional Spanish or English subtitles.
j BELLA-M . . . 100 min., $19.95
1-800-651-1531 • www.ignatius.com
ternet has shifted from infertility forums know I could dump into my computer It’s also the best way for parents to keep
to adoption forums (where she still and then let the world process. And now everyone informed.”
checks in with online friends) to a blog I can go back and read it all. I tried to do “Blogs are a great salon for like-mind-
she recently began where she writes journals, but that never took hold like it ed people,” she added. “There are a lot
about infertility, adoption, and parent- did with blogging.” of people who are witty and smart and
hood from a Catholic perspective. show kindness to each other.”
“There are a lot of
Offering Encouragement Not Perfect
Ruth Anne Adams is a senior litiga- people who are witty Of course, that’s not always the case.
tions specialist in Winston-Salem, N.C. For all the positive aspects the Inter-
She turns to the Internet for a variety of and smart and net has to offer — the friendships and
things, from keeping up with friendships support and ability to connect — there
to prayer chains, to finding support in show kindness to are a variety of pitfalls, as well. People
parenting her three young children. can be mean on the Internet; anonymity
“I’m at a computer all day at work,”
each other.” encourages them to type things they
says Ruth Anne, “you’d think I’d have an would never dare say to a person’s face.
aversion to it. But I use it to break up the On her blog, Ruth Anne also wrote Blogs, in particular, can be tricky be-
monotony.” extensively about her twin daughters’ cause it’s easy for a mom blogger to con-
Ruth Anne maintains a blog where premature birth and their time in the vey a false image that doesn’t exist; read-
she has made friendships that have neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). ers need to guard themselves from get-
crossed over into the real world. She “I notice that a bunch of people come ting caught up in the facade.
found the blogging outlet particularly to my blog looking for the NICU stuff,” Melissa Scollard is an at-home mom
helpful when her father died several says Ruth Anne. “There’s a service that with four young children. She started a
years ago. does that, just by being there in the blog a few months ago only to delete it
“I was blogging about my dad’s archives. It serves as a family history, but soon after.
death,” she says. “It was a catharsis to it’s also a useful thing for NICU moms. “I actually cut back on some comput-
er time during Lent,” says Melissa, who
felt her Internet time was keeping her
from doing other things. While she en-
WHAT’S IT GOOD FOR? joys reading about the adventures and
Real moms share what they value most about computer connections. experiences of other families, she admits
that there is a risk.
“We just recently moved to a new, terribly isolated area. Blogging is the “I do find many of these blogs inspir-
only outlet I have right now. For me, blogging is the closest to community I ing and motivating,” she said. “Howev-
get.” — Wendy er, it is easy to become discouraged, too.
Some blogs paint a picture-perfect
“Here’s a testament to the connection that can be felt and built with peo- world that I will never be able to obtain.
ple you will never see — I check several blogs daily that I first stumbled This can be depressing to me at times.”
upon more than four years ago.” — Sarah Alice Cantrell, a mother of five in
“I have a special needs child with a rare condition, and I have no one local Abbeville, La., also recognizes the pit-
to talk with about this. My blogger community is a huge source of support falls and offers the wise example of rec-
for me.” — Teresa ognizing her limits.
“I discovered a long time ago that if
“For me there is a tendency to think the grass is always greener, so I often I wanted to have time for the creative
lament what I gave up when I left a great career. On the Internet, I get in- side of life — which is what keeps me
spired to do my best for my family at home.” — Kathy
sane,” she said, “then things like watch-
“The great thing about blogging is that you can visit and chat anytime of ing TV or Internet time would have to
the day, without having to find anybody’s shoes or buckle anybody’s car seat be minimal.”✥
PHOTOS: ISTOCK.

first. You can also discuss pretty sensitive topics that, in person, would be
too embarrassing with anyone except your closest friends.” — Sara Rachel Balducci clicks and connects with
other moms at Testosterhome.net and
FaithandFamilyLIVE.com.

64 FAITH & FAMILY

Now Available From Circle Press
THE DOMESTIC CHURCH ROOM BY ROOM Books to Inspire and
By Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle. Pope John Paul II wrote that Equip Today’s Catholic
the “little domestic Church, like the greater Church, needs to be
constantly and intensely evangelized: hence its duty regarding
permanent education in the faith.” That’s a tall order for busy
Catholic mothers. You might even say it’s as big as a house:
You wouldn’t want to clean the whole thing in one fell swoop
but, if you take it one room at a time, you’ll get the job done.
In a systematic course that’s equally useful for groups and
individuals, this talented author shows how to remodel your
home after the spiritual design of Holy Mother Church.
ISBN: 978-1-933271-20-0 $18.95

GRACE CAFÉ Serving Up Recipes for Faithful Mothering

By Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle. Ever wish you had a cookbook
for life as a Catholic wife and mother … a step-by-step guide for
various “domestic church” situations? Consider your prayers
answered. The recipe theme may be lighthearted, fun even, but
there’s real nourishment to be had in this wonderful dish too.
Inspiriting entrees — practical ways Catholic women can live out 5 Minutes
With Jesus
their familial vocation — are seasoned with simple suggestions
for answering Christ’s call to holiness.
ISBN: 978-1-933271-21-7 $14.95 A Christmas Story
ro Correa, L.C.
ations by Gloria Lorenzo

Special Christmas Offer

Order now and save 25%
FIVE MINUTES WITH THE CHILD JESUS
By Alvaro Correa, LC. Jesus is busy on Christmas Eve
— answering prayers, watching over creation — but he
can spare five minutes for 10-year-old Michael. After all,
to God one minute may be as an hour … or a lifetime.
Jesus teams up with his friend to spread faith, hope and
love to the sick and needy. Young readers will feel the
true spirit of Christmas charity flying off these pages and
into their hearts. ISBN: 978-1-933271-22-4 $14.95

MOUNTAIN MIRACLE By Alvaro Correa, LC.

What if a small, rural Catholic congregation put on a
living Nativity after Midnight Mass — and the Holy

5 Minutes
Family showed up to help, entrusting the living Baby
Jesus to the wide-eyed youngsters playing the parts of
With Jesus Joseph and Mary? Read this charming Christmas fable,
destined to become an annual Advent favorite, and your
A Christmas Story whole family will delight in the joyful and wondrous
Álvaro Correa, L.C.
Illustrations by Gloria Lorenzo answer. ISBN: 978-1-933271-23-1 $14.95

CALL 888-881-0729 OR VISIT CIRCLEPRESS.ORG

MENTION CODE FF1208
 Download Songs. Discover Artists. Burn your OWN CD.
Share the Faith through quality Catholic Music!
the artists at TopCatholicSongs.com present their

T# op Ten Christmas Albums

1
artist / website album / featured tracks
Gretchen Harris Christmas Joy

2 Deacon Chuck Stevens Bethlehem Morn

3 Trish Foti Genco In His Presence...

4 Donna Lee Happy Birthday Jesus

5 Michael Zabrocki Christmas Peace

6 Sean Clive Peace on Earth

7 Lynn Geyer Christmas All Year Through

8 Nancy Krebs Come To The Stable

9 Susan Bailey Wait With Me

10 Elizabeth Schmeidler Take Me Back To Bethlehem

More dynamic song lists available online


The Movie Man Who Bumped into God
BY SIMCHA FISHER
AARON WIEDERSPAHN is a man who fol-
lows through.
The 36-year-old writer and director
of the independent film The Sensation of
Sight has chosen a difficult road for his
fledgling production company, either/or
films: He wants to bring his characters
— and thus the audience — to an
inescapable confrontation with mystery,
“the mystery of grace.”
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
MY FAITH AND FAMILY
“It’s like Jacob wrestling with God,”
Wiederspahn says.
He’s a Catholic, but he’s not making
overtly religious movies. Instead, he and
his production partner (and godfather)
Buzz McLaughlin want to tell stories
about ordinary, flawed human beings
who tangle with the divine through
sometimes painful encounters with each
other.
67
MY FAITH AND FAMILY
Photos from set of film, The Sensation of Sight, which features Oscar nominee David Straithairn as Finn.
In Wiederspahn’s first film, Peter-
borough, N.H., the town that inspired
Thornton Wilder’s Our Town is trans-
formed into a haunted mindscape. Finn,
an English teacher, played by Oscar
nominee David Straithairn, responds to
a local tragedy by stepping abruptly
out of his life, seeking the answer to his
question, “Why?” Other suffering char-
acters drift through and mingle with his
story, isolated by their own reluctance to
live in a world that doesn’t offer clear
answers.
The Sensation of Sight is a visually ex-
quisite film, shot with John Ford-esque
impassivity, with scenes that are highly
composed and intimate, and yet some-
how jarringly detached. The soundtrack
is unusual and perfect, never intruding,
68
always enhancing the story. And every
last second of the film is entirely sincere:
There is no pretense, no fakery, and not
an ounce of pandering or lazy writing.
But there’s more than that. Wieder-
spahn, who is a recent convert, believes
that movies are the perfect vehicle for
“creating windows into the eternal.”
Sporting a plaid cowboy hat, a
Dostoevsky T-shirt, and an enthusiastic
glow, Wiederspahn looks like a man in
love, carried away with ardor for his
Church (he is a regular guardian at the
adoration chapel in Keene, N.H.), his
family (his wife, Keri, is an iconograph-
er), and films from Hitchcock to Ingmar
Bergman to Charlie Chaplin.
He displays the same incandescent
earnestness, intelligence, and humor,
whether discussing ancient philosophy or
Japanese film; but most of all, he looks
like a man on a journey. His hope and
enthusiasm for the future seem to ani-
PHOTOS: ALL COURTESY OF ©MMVI SENSATION OF SIGHT, LLC.
mate his thoughts as well as his gestures
as he speaks of his conversion, his plans
for future films, and his family.
Wiederspahn’s own parents were only
19 years old when he was born. His
mother attended a raucous Pentecostal
church, while his father was more inter-
ested in American Indian thought. Both
were involved with drugs. “I spent my
childhood basically watching my parents
grow up,” he said.
Once on his own, he “dabbled in
everything,” he says — from fundamen-
talist churches to Calvinists, from Sartre
to Jack Kerouac. He was writing and act-
FAITH & FAMILY

ing all the while; but when he stumbled
across the journals of the Christian
philosopher Soren Kierkegaard, Wieder-
spahn says he began to realize “the
utmost importance of the quest. That
what I was after above all was the truth.”
Wiederspahn, who is a recent convert,
believes that movies are the perfect vehicle for
“creating windows into the eternal.”
Aaron Wiederspahn directing from behind the camera.
His voracious reading, including works
by Dostoevsky, W.H. Auden, Thomas à
Kempis, and St. Augustine, eventually led
him down the path toward Catholicism.
He had joined an Episcopal church, but
he “was struggling, trying to figure out
what to do, feeling the urge, but I just
couldn’t let go. So I prayed, ‘Is this nec-
essary?’”
It was. Here is how God answered his
prayer.
I was at Border’s bookstore, and I see this
man, this average Joe, standing there. And all of
a sudden I’m struck with this huge sensation
that God is saying, “Speak to him.” It’s over-
My Faith and Family — In this department, we feature prominent people who, even if they haven’t always been role models, acknowledge the
debt they owe to their faith and their family.
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
whelming. And I stop myself, thinking, “What
are you talking about?” So I sat there, and I
paced in the aisle, because I felt I couldn’t
escape it. I felt like a freak, and like, “I really
don’t want to do this!”
So finally I just got up the courage and
dragged myself over there, kind of shuffling my
feet, and I said, “I don’t want to freak you out,
and this is going to sound weird, but I feel that
God . . . wants me to talk to you?”
And he looked at me, and with this thick Irish
accent, he said, “No, no, I don’t think that’s
weird at all. I’m Father Joe; nice to meet ye. Let’s
go get some coffee.”
We went through all my questions, line by
line. After that conversation, I called Buzz and I
said, “Okay, that’s it. I want to come into the
Church.”
This is just the kind of thing that hap-
pens in The Sensation of Sight: People in
distress are thrown together, made vul-
MY FAITH AND FAMILY
nerable, and faced with a decision. There
is a fight in a bar; an awkward, silent
dance between strangers; an angry
daughter shaving her elderly father’s
stubborn face: all excruciating moments
of physicality when the shattering power
of grace makes its terrible demands.
His characters suffer not because of
bad choices, but from being inattentive,
from refusing to hope, or refusing even
to face their own lack of understanding.
The film quietly demands attentiveness.
“That same attentiveness,” says
Wiederspahn, “that God pays to us.”
Salvation, the film implies, doesn’t re-
quire understanding (at the climax, the
main character makes his spiritual break-
through while crying out in pain, “I don’t
understand!”), but it is painfully necessary
to have the courage simply to ask.
Wiederspahn’s film, as well as his life,
testify to this same belief: that grace,
however mysterious, must not be refused.
When asked if any particular doctrine
or idea kept him from joining the Church
for so long, he said without hesitation:
“The Eucharist. The actual body and
blood of Christ.”
He described his experience of coming
to terms with the physical presence of
God himself in the Eucharist, after doing
some “church-hopping and church-
shopping” among various Protestant
sects. He explained:
“You walk into any [Catholic] parish, and you
listen to the priest, and you think, ‘Wow, where
is that guy coming from?’ Or, ‘Wow, the music is
atrocious.’ But it doesn’t matter! Because you
have Christ — that’s why you’re there. Christ is
Christ, always. And Christ works through the
weakness of man.”
It is clear that Christ is working
through Aaron Wiederspahn. We look
forward to either/or’s next film, to see
how they follow through.✥
The Sensation of Sight will be available
on DVD in the fall.
Simcha Fisher lives with her husband and
seven children in Marlborough, N. H., where
they confront the mystery of life daily.
69
 70
FAITH & FAMILY
PHOTOS: BOTH PAGES, JUPITER IMAGES.
 WHAT’S COOKING

Holiday Feasts
Without
Fret

No-Fuss Christmas
Cookies
See page 73

LEAVE ANNUAL ANXIETIES BY KATE WICKER

I
BEHIND AND BRING ON THE
F HUMANITY MIGHT never see peace on
CHEER WITH OUR FESTIVE earth, or in a mother’s kitchen, this
time of year, fear not. We’re here to
(BUT EASY!) CHRISTMAS help. Before the crowds start flocking
COLLECTION OF RECIPES to your door, read here for entertainment ideas
and an assortment of quick, easy, and impres-
AND ENTERTAINMENT TIPS. sive recipes that are sure to be crowd pleasers
no matter what the holiday occasion.

Visit Kate at KateWicker.com.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 71
Less Fuss, More
TRY THESE SEASONAL TREAT IDEAS
FOR DELICIOUS AND SIMPLE DESSERTS.
This is the easiest dessert you’ll ever
make, and it’s always a hit at parties.
Kids love to use skewers to dip the
bites of fruit and cake into the creamy
chocolate.
Easy Chocolate Fondue
Fancy fondue sets are nice, but not
necessary. Put a container of your
favorite store-bought chocolate frost-
ing in the microwave and melt it for
about 30 seconds. Stir the mixture. If
72
Yum
it’s not smooth and creamy, pop it in
for a few more seconds. Pour the
chocolate sauce into a fancy bowl, and
hide the frosting container. Serve with
platters of fruit — plump strawberries,
cubed pineapples, or apple slices. Buy
frozen pound cake and cut into cubes
for another dipping delight. If only
adults will be indulging, stir a dash of
your favorite liqueur into the chocolate
for an extra kick. Use wooden skewers
for dipping.
PHOTOS: BOTH PAGES, JUPITER IMAGES.
FAITH & FAMILY
 No-Fuss Christ
mas Cookies
Exquisite Mint Sticks
THIS IS ONE OF MY HUSBAND’S GRAND-
MOTHER’S PRIZED RECIPES. THE BARS
CAN BE MADE AHEAD OF TIME — THEY
FREEZE WELL AND SHOULD BE SERVED
CHILLED. TO ADD FESTIVE FLAIR, SPRIN-
KLE WITH CRUSHED CANDY CANES.

2 squares of baking chocolate

1/2 cup butter
2 eggs (for a lighter version, use egg sub-
stitute; it won’t affect the treat’s delicious
taste)
1 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon peppermint extract
1/2 cup flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
Frosting:
1/2 cup butter
1 tablespoon heavy cream
3/4 teaspoon peppermint extract
dash of salt
confectioners’ sugar
Pillsbury was invented for a reason. If you’re short on time, buy
To make frosting, soften butter and add
refrigerated sugar cookie dough and try any of the following tricks to
enough sifted confectioners’ sugar to make a
smooth mixture. Add the cream, peppermint give your cookies a homemade touch. I promise you, no one is going
extract, and salt. If mixture is too thin for spread- to notice that you didn’t sift the flour yourself.
ing, add more confectioners’ sugar.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Melt chocolate Lemon Sandwich Cookies
and butter. Cool. Beat eggs or egg substitute until Bake sugar cookie dough according to
thick and light-colored. Add salt. Add sugar grad- directions and then make cookie sandwiches
ually. Add cooled chocolate mixture. Add pepper- that ooze with the following easy, creamy
mint extract. Sift flour and fold into mixture. Bake lemon filling: Mix 4 ounces of room-temper-
in a square pan for 20 to 25 minutes. Do not over ature cream cheese with finely grated zest
bake. Cool in pan. from one lemon and 1 cup of confectioners’
Frost with frosting. Place pan in refrigerator sugar. Add more confectioners’ sugar if the
until frosting is hardened. Melt 1 square of choco- filling isn’t firm and easy to spread.
late with 1 tablespoon of butter and drizzle over-
top. When firm, cut into bars. Peppermint Cookies
— Adapted from Cooking Down East Allow dough to soften slightly. Remove
(Downeast Books, 1995) from package and place in bowl. Add 1/4
teaspoon peppermint extract to the dough
and mix well. Divide the dough into balls.
Place on the cookie sheet and gently flatten.
Sprinkle with crushed peppermint candy.
Bake according to package directions.

Cranberry Pistachio Drops

The red cranberries and green-hued pista-
chios give this cookie a Christmas confetti
look. Mix about 1/2 cup crushed, shelled pis-
tachios with 1/3 cup cranberries. Blend mix-
ture into sugar cookie dough. Drop by
spoonfuls onto a baking sheet and bake
according to directions.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 73

Fried Pork Wontons
EVERY CHRISTMAS EVE, MY HUSBAND’S
FATHER MAKES THESE DELICIOUS FRIED
WONTONS FOR OUR TAPAS-INSPIRED DIN-
NER. THE WONTONS MAY BE PREPARED
AHEAD OF TIME AND PLACED IN THE
FREEZER FOR UP TO A MONTH BEFORE
FRYING. YOU CAN ALSO PREPARE THE
FILLING AHEAD OF TIME AND FREEZE FOR
UP TO TWO MONTHS.
1/2 pound fresh ground pork
1/4-1/3 cup chopped scallions (about 2-3
scallions)
1 teaspoon olive oil
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/8 teaspoon garlic powder
1 egg white
3 dozen small wonton wrappers (Check your
grocer’s produce section — circle ones
work best)
peanut oil for frying
Mix pork, scallions, salt, pepper, and garlic pow-
der in a bowl. Cook mixture in olive oil heated in a
skillet on medium high. Cook until well done; meat
should be lightly browned. Place cooked mixture into
a mixing bowl and chop up until pork is coarsely
ground. Add a dash of salt and/or pepper, if desired.
To spice things up, you can add other ingredients
into the pork mixture such as grated carrots or gin-
ger, soy sauce, dry mustard powder, or red pepper.
Cover bowl with plastic wrap and place in refrigera-
tor to cool for about 30 minutes.
74
Tapas, Anyone?
One holiday tradition I’ve gladly embraced from my husband’s side of the family is the forgo-
ing of a fancy feast on Christmas Eve. Instead, we gather around the Christmas tree in the
living room and enjoy a tapas-inspired meal. The term tapas comes from Spain and refers
to “small plates” or snack-like foods that are along the same lines as American appetizers.
I’ve discovered that this low-key, simplified meal allows us to spend time together as a
family without all the added stress of trying to plan two big meals. We reserve the sit-down,
more formal meal for Christmas Day. Another perk of serving up tapas is that it gives kids
a good excuse to eat with their fingers — one less formality little ones have to endure when
they’re abuzz with Christmas excitement.
When it comes to developing a tapas menu, you’re limited only by your creativity and epi-
curean tendencies. You can keep it simple with a selection of olives, cheeses, and breads or
prepare your own go-to appetizer dish, such as stuffed mushrooms or a spinach dip. For
more ideas, see the recipes below or visit TapeñaWines.com, a website for Spanish wines
that includes a tapas party planner and a wealth of recipes.
To prepare wontons:
Preheat an inch of peanut oil over medium-high
heat in a deep frying pan. Brush egg white along the
border of the wonton wrapper. Place 1/2 teaspoon of
the pork mixture in center of wrap. Fold wrapper,
making sure wrappers are well-sealed (the egg white
acts as a “glue”). For rectangle wrappers, fold diago-
nally. For circular wrappers, fold in half. Place filled
wontons on wax paper. Do not let them touch each
other. Cook the stuffed wontons in hot peanut oil,
turning them once, until both sides are lightly
browned. Watch carefully! They cook very quickly —
in just seconds.
Once cooled, serve wontons with your favorite
dipping sauces, such as a sesame-orange dipping
sauce (recipe below). Soy sauce tastes great, too.
Makes about 3 dozen wontons Homemade Melba Toast
WHIP UP A BATCH OF THIS EASY MELBA
TOAST AND SERVE WITH VARIOUS SPREADS
Sesame Orange Dipping Sauce AT A CHRISTMAS POTLUCK OR AS AN
THIS IS MY LATE GRANDPA’S OWN RECIPE.
APPETIZER FOR YOUR FAMILY DINNER.
IT SERVES AS A DELICIOUS DIP FOR PORK
WONTONS, BUT IT ALSO GOES WELL WITH Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Slice a loaf of French
POACHED CHICKEN, SERVED WARM OR bread (homemade or store-bought) into 1/4-inch
COLD. slices. Place on a baking sheet coated with cooking
spray. Warm 1/2 cup olive oil infused with one
PHOTOS: WONTONS AND OLIVES, SHUTTERSTOCK; TOAST, VEER.
1/3 cup thinly sliced scallions chopped garlic clove. Brush slices with oil. Bake for
1/3 cup chicken broth about 10 minutes. Turn and brush the other side with
1/4 cup orange juice olive oil and bake for another 5 to 10 minutes.
1 tablespoon rice vinegar Cooking time will vary, depending on the bread; just
1 tablespoon soy sauce keep an eye on it so it doesn’t burn. If not serving
2 teaspoons grated fresh ginger immediately, cover toast with plastic wrap or alu-
1 teaspoon dark sesame oil minum foil and store in a covered container.
For an easy appetizer, try serving melba toast
Mix all ingredients together. Makes about 3/4 cup. with one of these easy toppings:
Cream cheese-bleu cheese: Soften cream cheese
and add crumbled bleu cheese until you get the taste
you desire.
Goat cheese: Spread goat cheese thinly on toast;
top with one small basil leaf and sprinkle with
chopped kalamata olives.
Bruschetta: Top toast with chopped basil, toma-
toes, and mozzarella, and drizzle with olive oil.
FAITH & FAMILY
 Spinach Balls
THESE FREEZE WELL AND ARE NICE TO KEEP
ON HAND FOR WHEN COMPANY DROPS IN
DURING THE HOLIDAYS.
10-ounce package of frozen chopped spinach
1 cup seasoned stuffing mix
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
3 eggs, beaten (use egg substitute, if
you like)
6 tablespoons butter, softened
salt and pepper, to taste
Cook spinach according to package directions.
Squeeze out excess water with paper towels.
Combine spinach with all other ingredients and mix
well. Roll into walnut-sized balls. Place on cookie
sheet. Freeze. Once the balls are solid, store in plas-
tic bag in freezer. To serve, bake frozen spinach balls
at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.
Brie with Raspberry-Pecan Sauce
THIS SUPER-EASY APPETIZER IS A GREAT
DISH TO BRING TO CHRISTMAS PARTIES.
PHOTOS: RASPBERRIES AND CHEESE, SHUTTERSTOCK; FIREPLACE, ISTOCK; TEA, JUPITER IMAGES.
small round of Brie cheese
1 jar of raspberry preserves
crushed pecans
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Put the Brie in a
glass pie plate. Dump most of the preserves on top.
Sprinkle a handful of chopped pecans on top. Cover
with aluminum foil. Heat the cheese and preserves
for about 5 to 8 minutes, until the cheese is just
starting to soften and the preserves are warm. Serve
immediately with crackers or homemade melba
toast.
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
The FINISHING TOUCHES
Sharing our homes with others gives us many occasions to practice the art of hospi-
tality just as Elizabeth did for Mary during the Visitation. What better time to extend
a warm welcome to others than during the Advent season when we are supposed to
be opening our hearts and lives to Christ? Whether you’ll be playing host to family,
friends, your parish priest, or a neighbor who seems lonely, here are some simple
ways to make your home more inviting:
Let there be light Christmas Cranberry Tea
Candles serve as both décor and lighting. Skip 3 cinnamon sticks
the votives and opt for larger candles with a 30 whole cloves
longer burn time to keep your home alit with a 3 1/2 quarts plus 2 cups water, divided
warm, welcoming glow. If you’re worried about 1-pound can cranberry sauce
fire hazards, check out InspiredLighting.com, 2 6-ounce cans frozen orange juice concen-
trate, thawed
which sells battery-operated pillar candles that
1 cup sugar
look just like the real thing.
1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
Center of attention Combine cinnamon sticks, cloves, and 2 cups of
You don’t need a lot of frills in your dining area, water in a small saucepan and bring to boil for
but a fitting centerpiece can go a long way in about 10 minutes. In a large bowl, mix cranberry
creating a festive atmosphere. Why not put your sauce, orange juice, sugar, and lemon juice. Using
Nativity scene at the center of your table to give a strainer to catch the cloves and cinnamon sticks,
it the attention it deserves? Accent it with cut add the boiling liquid to the cranberry sauce mix-
evergreen boughs. An Advent wreath also makes ture. Pour the mixture and the remaining water
a lovely and meaningful centerpiece. You might into a slow cooker and heat on low to keep warm
before serving.
also try blossoming amaryllis bulbs, roses, or a
fragrant rosemary tree to add a splash of color.
Fill a glass or plain white bowl with cranberries,
glass ornaments, or silver jingle bells. Display a
basket filled with your favorite Christmas books;
or arrange holiday cookies on a platter in the
shape of a wreath.
Follow your nose
Fill your home with the smells of the season.
Scatter sprigs of rosemary or evergreen
throughout your house or brew up a pot of cran-
berry tea. The following recipe makes about 5
quarts of delicious tea that fills your home with
a blissful holiday aroma.
75
 Sparrow Seed has been called
“a gift to Franciscan literature.”

“Come then and walk with me in His Way.

Enjoy feasts of turnips and leeks, and sleep
Well under our blankets of leaves.
Friends, come study the sparrows”
Personalized Keepsakes ©2008 JFYJ, LLC.

that will be
These original poems evoke the
lively Franciscan experience, Treasured
while capturing the humanity
of a well-loved saint and
Forever!
self-proclaimed “fool for God.” Crystal & Silver Bracelet
Reading Wallace’s poems on
St. Francis of Assisi is an act
of communion.

Lil’ Princess Bracelet

Elegant Bracelets
for Moms and
Daughters Too!
They Make the Perfect
Christmas Gift!
MommyBracelets.com

MUSICAL STOCKING A gift of this coffee could

change the life…
STUFFERS FOR EVERY KID of someone that you probably
IN YOUR LIFE! will never meet.

Standin’ On the Rock is a lively, contemporary
musical celebration, with songs that will invigorate
children’s faith in Jesus Christ and reinforce the truths
of the Catholic faith.
Just by enjoying the taste and aroma of a cup of
freshly roasted Colombian coffee you can educate
a child, provide adult job training, and food for the
elderly. All profits go to our Catholic Missions
to promote social justice.
w ww. s a i n tb a s i l c o f fe e. c o m
o r c al l 7 13 -8 8 0- 90 9 0

Call Toll Free 1-877-504-9865

www.CatholicKidsMusic.com Our coffee is certified “fair trade.”

CALL NOW TO PLACE YOUR AD! 800-356-9916

 Give the
Sacred Gift of Music The Highly Acclaimed Vatican Products
from College of DuPage Press

- and -

developed by Stephen Haliczer Ph.D.

Unlock the secrets of how men become Pope with

our unique and entertaining Papal Election Board
Game. Only $39.95!
Treasure the elegant design of our large, detailed
timeline – charting the course of two thousand
years of Catholic history for your home, school, or
Church. Only $25.00!
These two innovative new products unite for a
delightful interactive educational experience!
For a limited time, purchase both for only $55.00!
Call (800) 290-4474

Che Chant Kit or visit our website

www.vaticanboardgame.com

Strength in Faith

www.2bjewelry.com 713.410.3035

PAID ADVERTISEMENTS
 A Very Special Christmas Gift

A double CD compilation
of the best of
John Michael Talbot
recorded on his own
Troubadour For The Lord
record label

Toll Free 877/504/9865

On the web: www.JohnMichaelTalbot.com

Finally, Advent and Christmas books

designed for the whole family!

Let the Children

Come:
A Family Guide to the
Liturgy of the Word
Lectionary-based meditation
guide

Together Time:
A Companion Activity Book
Reproducible activities for four
Saint Mary’s Press Gift Boutique age groups
Inspire them with Christmas Gifts Read together.
that reflect their faith! Pray together.
Grow together.
It all begins
Shop online at gifts.smp.org or request
a catalog by calling 800-533-8095! with
Advent.
Order yours today. www.BoundByGracePress.com

CALL NOW TO PLACE YOUR AD! 800-356-9916

 Experience the Elegance
T H E I NSTA NT N EW YOR K T I M ES BE STSELLER

From the Newbery Medal–winning

of Italian Art author of The Tale of Despereaux
@6I:9> 86B>AAD
Extroardinary gifts illustrated by
that last a lifetime! 76<G6B>76IDJAA>C:

“Timeless
and moving.”
—Time Magazine
Top Ten Children’s
Books of 2007

H]VgZi]Z_dn#
h
Toll Free: 1-888-623-5539
visit us online today!
www.italianimports.us An unforgettable holiday gift

POWERFULLY
Inspire...
confidence in Our Lady,

and love for the Mass.

THEOLOGICAL STUDY
TIPS INCLUDED

Available from your

favorite bookseller, or
order autographed copies
at GingerbreadBooks.com
GIngerBrEaD HOUSe
PUBLISHING THE FINEST IN CHILDREN’S BOOKS
T + 631.288.5119 F + 631.288.5179

PAID ADVERTISEMENTS
 FAITH
entertainment &FAMILY
Awaken the Thrill
Gifts for everyone in your family.
Little Ones (ages 0-7)
by TIM DRAKE
The Family That Plays Together …
This delightful book, written by Anne Fredrickson,
tells the story of her father-in-law’s family of 18 children,
12 of whom formed an all-brother baseball team in the
1920s that is recognized in the National Baseball Hall
of Fame. The team included nine players, a batboy, and
two coaches, all from the same family, ages 11 to 36. The
book is a celebration of both family and baseball.
The Baseball Brothers
by Anne Fredrickson ($12.95),
from WhiteBarnBooks.com
Celebrate the Pauline Year
Just in time for the Year of St. Paul, PaulineKids has
published a COMIColor Saints
book on the life of St. Paul.
Children can enjoy the story
of Paul’s conversion and relive
his missionary journeys in this
comic-book-style coloring and
activity book appropriate for
introducing little ones to one
of our greatest saints, during
the year dedicated to him.
Saint Paul, COMIColor Saints
by Virginia Helen Richards, FSP,
and D. Thomas Halpin, FSP, ($2.95),
from Pauline.org or (800) 836-9723.
80
What’s a Zucchetto?
If you or anyone else in
your family has ever been
perplexed by a puzzling
Church-related word, here’s
just the book for you. Look It Up!
provides more than 600 kid-friendly definitions of
Catholic words for children, parents, and their teachers.
You’ll find everything from ciborium to miter, along with
accompanying photos.
Look it Up!
by Janet L. Alampi ($12.95), from
Pauline.org or (800) 836-9723.
Poetry for Young Ones
I didn’t know what to expect when I popped this DVD
into the player, but our family was pleasantly surprised by
how the 30-minute program
brought poetry to life for young
children. Timeless poetry by
William Shakespeare, Langston
Hughes, and Elizabeth Barrett
Browning is read by celebri-
ties such as Andy Garcia,
John Lithgow, Gwyneth Paltrow,
and others. The program combines
the poetry with captivating images
that make this something the entire
family can enjoy.
DVD Classical Baby: I’m Grown Up
Now, the Poetry Show
($8.99), from Amazon.com
FAITH & FAMILY
 entertainment

“Adventures Virtue-Based Videos

in Faith” DVD, These animated PBS videos, based
at right. on William Bennett’s stories from The
Also available,
Book of Virtues, are a great introduction
“Adventures in
Honesty and
to talking with your children about the
Courage” DVDs, virtues of honesty, courage, and faith.
at left. The stories are seen through the eyes
of young Zach and Annie. “Adven-
tures in Faith” includes the stories
of “The Good Samaritan,”
“Androcles and the Lion,”
“Harriet Tubman,” and “Daniel
in the Lion’s Den.”
DVD Adventures from the Book
of Virtues: Adventures in Faith,
PorchLight Inspire, ($12.98),
Box set from BarnesAndNoble.com
of all DVDs,
shown at right.

Tim Drake, author of four books, entered the Church on the feast of St. Joseph. He now lives with his wife
and five children in St. Joseph, Minnesota.

ѮF '"$&
PG
)PNF
4DIPPMJOH
JT
$IBOHJOH 'MFYJCMF
"DDSFEJUFE
$BUIPMJD
&YDFMMFOU
5PEBZT
IPNF
TDIPPMFST
LOPX
UIBU

ëFYJCJMJUZ
JT
NPSF
JNQPSUBOU
UIBO

FWFS
'MFYJCJMJUZ
JT
BU
UIF
DPSF
PG
UIF

4FUPO
)PNF
4UVEZ
4DIPPM
QSPHSBN

0VS
DVSSJDVMVN
JT
EFTJHOFE
UP
BEBQU

UP
BMNPTU
BOZ
TJUVBUJPO
'SPN
UIF
UJNF

ZPV
FOSPMM
4FUPO
UBJMPST
B
DVSSJDVMVN

UP
ZPVS
TUVEFOUT
OFFET
BOE
ZPV
DBO
NBLF
DIBOHFT
PO
B
EBJMZ
CBTJT
XJUI

PVS
POMJOF
MFTTPO
QMBOT
"DBEFNJD

DPVOTFMPST
BSF
BWBJMBCMF
UP
IFMQ
BMPOH
UIF
XBZ
8F
QSPWJEF
:PV
EFDJEF
4FUPO
JT
XIBU
ZPVWF
CFFO
MPPLJOH
GPS

5PEBZ
NPSF
UIBO
FWFS

4FUPO
)PNF
4UVEZ
4DIPPM TFUPOJOGPDPNõ )PNF
4UVEZ
4DIPPM

$BUIPMJD
&EVDBUJPO
GPS
5PNPSSPXT
-FBEFST ðïïêêèñíïñ 'MFYJCMF

]

"DDSFEJUFE

]

$BUIPMJD

]

&YDFMMFOU

3rd and 4th Row entertainment
Seats For Your

SUV Big Kids (ages 8-12)

by LORI HADACEK CHAPLIN

Lover of the Poor sion. Tea party tips include suggestions

Mother to the Poor, by Jung-wook for good manners, invitation writing,
Ko, is a captivating telling of Mother how to make envelopes, decorating,
Teresa’s and more. The recipes in the book are
life story simple and tasty. We liked the recipe
of how for Sparkling Raspberry Punch.
she came Tea & Cakes With the Saints:
Rear-facing seats to love A Catholic Young Lady’s
and serve Introduction to Hospitality
India’s and the Home Arts by Alice Cantrell
poorest (spiral-bound, $18.95), from
of the CHCWeb.com or (800) 490-7713.
poor. The
book Compassionate Rescuers
reveals a The Silver Donkey is a quiet story of
story about how her mother once compassion and bravery. When two
turned off the electricity when Mother young French sisters befriend a blind
Teresa and her siblings were gossiping English soldier hiding out in the forest,
Forward-facing seats about other children. Mother Teresa — they enlist their
then called Agnes — pledged to her older brother
little passenger seats, inc.
mother to do more, remembering the to think of a
offers 3rd and 4th row seats
poor children she saw on her walk rescue plan to
for 4Runners, Cherokees,
home from school every day. get him across
CR-Vs, Excursions, Explorers,
Mother to the Poor: The Story the English
Tahoes, Suburbans
of Blessed Teresa of Calcutta Channel, back
and many more.
by Jung-wook Ko, illustrated to his home-
by Seung-bum Park ($14.95), from land. Inter-
Pauline.org or (800) 876-4463. woven
throughout the
Hospitality Hints soldier’s story
Tea & Cakes With the Saints will are four tales about the merit of the
inspire girls to practice the art of hospi- stalwart donkey — the first being the
tality and homemaking. For each sea- Christmas story. Both boys and girls
son, the book suggests recipes and tips will enjoy this book.
for tea parties that can be celebrated on The Silver Donkey
Side-facing seats a saint’s feast day or any special occa- (Candlewick) by Sonya Hartnett
and illustrated by Don Powers
Our bench seats ($4.99), from Amazon.com
meet Federal safety
specifications, Silly Sisters
and include lap belts One of “Masterpiece Theatre’s” most
with available
delightful performances, “Cranford”
shoulder belts
and head restraints. was adapted from three of Victorian
novelist Elizabeth Gaskell’s novellas:
Cranford, Mr. Harrison’s Confessions, and
Visit us online: My Lady Ludlow. Set in 1840, in a rural
www.littleseats.com English village, the five-hour movie —
divided in five segments — is centered
or call us at: on two of Cranford’s upstanding citi-

800-252-9989
82 FAITH & FAMILY
Copyright © 2006 by Robert Sabuda and Matthew Reinhart. Reproduced by permission
PHOTOS: ENCYCLOPEDIA PREHISTORICA: SHARKS AND OTHER SEA MONSTERS.
zens, the
elderly spin-
ster sisters
Miss Matty
(Dame Judi Dench) and
Miss Deborah (Dame Eileen Atkins).
Appropriate for the whole family.
of the publisher, Candlewick Press, Inc., Somerville, MA.
DVD Cranford
(2 DVDs, $34.98), from
ShopPBS.org or (800) 531-4727.
Cool Creatures
Encyclopedia Prehistorica: Sharks
and Other Sea Monsters is a knock-
your-socks-off pop-up book of amazing
ancient sea creatures. Open the first
page and a huge pop-up of a sea-scor-
pion called a pterygotus — who looks
like a lobster — jumps out at you. The
Lori Hadacek Chaplin is a mother of three and is a children’s art teacher. She lives, works, and writes from her home in pastoral Iowa.
ѮF '"$&
PG
)PNF
4DIPPMJOH
JT
$IBOHJOH

"MM
4FUPO
HSBEVBUFT
SFDFJWF


NPSF
UIBO
FWFS
4FUPO
)PNF
4UVEZ
4DIPPM
$BUIPMJD
&EVDBUJPO
GPS
5PNPSSPXT
-FBEFST
book’s text
says this monster
grew to be 7 feet long! Each page
of the book includes one main, large
pop-up surrounded by little corner
fold-out pop-up books, along with
facts about the monsters.
Encyclopedia Prehistorica:
Sharks and Other Sea
Monsters (Candlewick)
by Robert Sabuda and Mathew Reinhart
($18.47), from Amazon.com
'MFYJCMF
"DDSFEJUFE
$BUIPMJD
&YDFMMFOU
5PEBZT
IPNF
TDIPPMFST
SFDPHOJ[F

UIBU
BDDSFEJUBUJPO
JT
B
NVTU
ѮBUT
XIZ
JUT
BO
JOUFHSBM
QBSU
PG


UIF
4FUPO
FOSPMMNFOU
QBDLBHF


8F
BSF
BDDSFEJUFE
CZ
UIF
4PVUIFSO

"TTPDJBUJPO
PG
$PMMFHFT
BOE
4DIPPM

4"$4
BO
BDDSFEJUFE
EJQMPNB
GSPN
B
TDIPPM

LOPXO
GPS
BDBEFNJD
FYDFMMFODF
‡


B
HSFBU
BTTFU
BT
UIFZ
BQQMZ
UP

JOTUJUVUFT
PG
IJHIFS
MFBSOJOH
4FUPO
JT
XIBU
ZPVWF
CFFO
MPPLJOH
GPS

5PEBZ
TFUPOJOGPDPNõ )PNF
4UVEZ
4DIPPM
ðïïêêèñíïñ 'MFYJCMF

]

"DDSFEJUFE

]

$BUIPMJD

]

&YDFMMFOU
 entertainment
Teens
by CELESTE BEHE

Link to Faith
I first came across the Catholic
Youth Networking website when
searching for prayers to fire up my
teens. I found just what I was looking
for in its “Studying for Christ” section.
CYN has plenty to offer teens outside
of the classroom, too. Its Vocations
homepage gives an overview of the reli-
gious life, links to vocation stories from
men and women religious, the daily
schedules of selected orders, and
Learn Spanish prayers to know God’s will.
Catholic Youth Networking Teaching Tools
With Grace! Check it out at My 19-year-old daugh-
The Catholic approach to CatholicYouth.Freeservers.com ter’s favorite item was the
pewter ID tag chain, with
teaching your children Find Answers the words “Fear Not” in cut-
Spanish. Catholic and Christian for out letters. (Sssh! It’s going
Young Adults provides lucid into her Christmas stocking!)
Textbook with explanations of commonly misun- I couldn’t choose between the
3 Audio CDs $39.95 derstood two “Prayer Dice.” An amusingly
Catholic beliefs. thoughtful gift for the college student
Using a ques- whose extracurricular activities include
tion-and-answer on-campus gaming, the sides of one
format and wooden die are stamped with table
plenty of Scrip- graces, and the sides of the other die
ture references, marked with traditional Catholic
Alan Schreck prayers. Check out the “under $10”
addresses ques- section for delightful stocking stuffers
tions in 10 sub- like pocket tokens, charm pulls, and
ject areas, lustrous pewter ornaments.
Many Other
including salvation, Church leadership, “Fear Not” ID Tag Chain ($6.95),
Supplements
sacraments, and the Blessed Mother. Table Grace Prayers Die and
Flashcards
Music Books An outstanding section on the work of Traditional Catholic Prayers Die,
Conversation Booklets the Holy Spirit is especially engaging, (each $11.95), from SMP.org
Tote Bags
and makes easy reading of an ephemer- or (800) 533-8095.
al subject. More than a user-friendly
guide to essentials of the faith, the
book will also provide teens — and
older readers — with sound material
Coming Soon! for reflection.
Learn the Rosary With Catholic and Christian
Grace for Young Adults
by Alan Schreck ($13.99),
from Catalog.AmericanCatholic.org
or (800) 488-0488.

quietwatersproductions.com Celeste Behe is a mother of nine, freelance writer, and dabbler in poetry.
716.337.2404 She writes from Pennsylvania.

84 FAITH & FAMILY

 Paper Heart
It seemed like the most natural thing in the world for
Francesca Battistelli to make her professional debut in the
musical arena. Born in New York City to parents employed
by the stages of Broadway, Battistelli knew she wanted
to sing by the time she was 6 years old. And now, it
seems, everyone is waiting for Fran-
cesca’s music. Months before the
debut of her first commercial album,
“My Paper Heart,” the release of
Battistelli’s first EP, “I’m Letting
Go,” generated enough buzz to
climb Christian radio charts and be
featured in iTunes’s coveted “What’s
Hot” section. A fusion of fantastic
vocals, pop, and even a little coun-
try, “My Paper Heart” is sure to go
on to win many more accolades.
CD My Paper Heart
($9.99), from iTunes and
FrancescaMusic.com
— Grace Behe

ѮF '"$&
PG
)PNF
4DIPPMJOH
JT
$IBOHJOH 'MFYJCMF
"DDSFEJUFE
$BUIPMJD
&YDFMMFOU
5PEBZT
IPNF
TDIPPMFST
SFBMJ[F
UIF
HSPXJOH
OFFE
GPS
BO
BVUIFOUJD

$BUIPMJD
QSPHSBN
0VS
'BJUI
JT

B
CFBVUJGVM
HJѫ
CVU
JUT
CFBVUZ
JT
MPTU
PO
UIPTF
XIP
EP
OPU
LOPX
JU

UIPSPVHIMZ
8F
NVTU
MFBSO
UP
LOPX
MPWF
BOE
TFSWF
(PE
JO
UIJT
XPSME
JO

PSEFS
UP
CF
IBQQZ
XJUI
)JN
JO
UIF

OFYU
ѮF
êSTU
TUFQ
JT
UP
LOPX
)JN

BOE
UIBUT
XIFSF
4FUPO
DPNFT
JO

4FUPO
JT
XIBU
ZPVWF
CFFO
MPPLJOH
GPS

5PEBZ
NPSF
UIBO
FWFS

4FUPO
)PNF
4UVEZ
4DIPPM TFUPOJOGPDPNõ )PNF
4UVEZ
4DIPPM

$BUIPMJD
&EVDBUJPO
GPS
5PNPSSPXT
-FBEFST ðïïêêèñíïñ 'MFYJCMF

]

"DDSFEJUFE

]

$BUIPMJD

]

&YDFMMFOU

entertainment
The Color of Peace
Take a moment for you … and with family.

Adults
by DARIA SOCKEY

Jiminy Cricket the tree, wrap gifts, or roll out that

CBS News Vatican Analyst Father mound of gingerbread dough.
Thomas Williams, LC, has done it The Bos-
again with another book that man- ton Pops
ages to make Catholic theology Orchestra
accessible and acceptable to a general (conductor:
audience. What is conscience? Must Keith Lock-
I always obey it? Did Jesus have a hart) is known
conscience? How is conscience for winsome
formed? What about tolerance for arrangements
diverse viewpoints? What does here is a good place to start. (who doesn’t
human freedom DVD Eventide Lullaby love their sig-
really mean? ($15), from nature horsey
Father takes on SeasonsMusic.net sound effects in the title song?) that
all these ques- appeal to all ages. Sure to energize
tions. His often Rev Up and Rejoice when your Christmas spirits flag.
humorous This mixture of sacred and secular DVD Sleigh Ride,
examples make favorites is meant to be played with Boston Pops Orchestra
the text both the volume up high while you trim ($16.98), from Amazon.com
enjoyable and
memorable. Daria Sockey is a mother of seven and community theater enthusiast.
Father’s explanations are light and She writes from her 100-year-old farmhouse in Pennsylvania.
clarity to a morally vague and con-
fused society. Not by Bread Alone
Knowing Right From
Wrong: A Christian It was the face of the boy on the language, that Bridge is unfairly
Guide to Conscience cover that first got me — right in harsh towards the family that took
by Thomas D. Williams, LC, ($19.99), my mother’s heart. him in for a decade. Many more
from AdoremusBooks.com The face of a very reviewers have fallen in love with
young Andy the needy child within its pages.
Relax and Reflect Bridge — soon Either way, it paints a true portrait
This is the CD for mom to after he was taken of the psychology of a child who is
listen to as she grabs a moment from his mother, torn from a parent he loves. It’s the
to recover from a day of seasonal Hope, and placed compelling story that makes this
activity. “Seasons” is a Catholic in foster care. book a New York Times best-seller.
sibling act you don’t want to Hope suffered It’s the central message and theme
miss. Various guest artists do the from undiag- of Bridge’s advocacy work that
vocals. Of the 14 tracks, 12 are nosed, untreated makes it Catholic reading.
traditional Christmas carols and paranoia, and Hope’s Boy
two are original compositions. Andy was to spend the remainder (Hyperion) by Andrew
If you aren’t familiar with of his childhood in foster care. Bridge ($15.61), from
the haunting, harp-like beauty Many reviewers have found flaws in Amazon.com
of the hammered dulcimer, this book — that there is some foul — Susie Lloyd

86 FAITH & FAMILY

 entertainment

Like Little Children

Children are a beautiful bless- beauty God

ing on this earth, entrusted to intends, as she
the care of their parents for eagerly resigns her
guidance and moral upbringing. will to his, living
There are times, however, that each minute in
we encounter a child so remark- joyful anticipation
able in her complete reflection of the day that
of the sacrifice and love that Jesus will finally
Christ asks of us, that the child hold her in his
becomes the beacon for her arms. Audrey’s life will
family and community. This is challenge you to once
the story of Audrey Stevenson. again take up Christ’s
Diagnosed with leukemia command to become Audrey meets
at the age of 7, her Gethsemane like little children. Pope John
only serves to inflame her love Audrey Paul II, above,
and she is
for Christ, offering her suffer- by Gloria Conde shown in the
ing especially for priestly voca- ($14.95), hospital, at left.
tions. In the heart of this little from CirclePress.org
girl, we find the purity and — Susan Haggerty

ѮF '"$&
PG
)PNF
4DIPPMJOH
JT
$IBOHJOH 'MFYJCMF
"DDSFEJUFE
$BUIPMJD
&YDFMMFOU
5PEBZT
IPNF
TDIPPMFST
BSF
MPPLJOH
GPS
B
QSPHSBN
XJUI
IJHI
BDBEFNJD

TUBOEBSET
4FUPO
TFUT
UIF
CBS
GPS
FYDFM
MFODF
JO
$BUIPMJD
IPNF
FEVDBUJPO
0VS
TUVEFOUT
BWFSBHF
ú÷
QFSDFOUJMF

QPJOUT
IJHIFS
PO
TUBOEBSEJ[FE
UFTUT
UIBO
UIFJS
DMBTTSPPN
DPVOUFSQBSUT
0VS
HSBEVBUFT
IBWF
SFDFJWFE
TDIPMBS
TIJQT
UP
OVNFSPVT
JOTUJUVUJPOT
PG

IJHIFS
MFBSOJOH
BOE
TFWFSBM
4FUPO

TUVEFOUT
IBWF
SFDFJWFE
QFSGFDU
TDPSFT

PO
UIF
4"5
&YDFMMFODF
JT
BUUBJOBCMF

BOE
XJUI
4FUPO
UIFSFT
OP
SFBTPO
UP

TFUUMF
GPS
MFTT
4FUPO
JT
XIBU
ZPVWF
CFFO
MPPLJOH
GPS

5PEBZ
NPSF
UIBO
FWFS

4FUPO
)PNF
4UVEZ
4DIPPM TFUPOJOGPDPNõ )PNF
4UVEZ
4DIPPM

$BUIPMJD
&EVDBUJPO
GPS
5PNPSSPXT
-FBEFST ðïïêêèñíïñ 'MFYJCMF

]

"DDSFEJUFE

]

$BUIPMJD

]

&YDFMMFOU

On the Web…
Nat
O ne io
n
U nd
er G
od

Convenient On-Line Ordering

crucifixes - centers - findings
chaplet medal sets - bulk beads

imakerosaries.com
Make You Shine
St. Joseph’s Mail Order
Box 474 Sturgis Sask. Children’s Books
S0A 4A0 Canada Ages 3 to 7 &
& 7 to 11
Rosary Parts are our business NOT our sideline!

Sacred Heart Books & Gifts,

“Sent from Him to serve you.”
LLC Movie Rentals The Whole Family Can Enjoy.
Thousands Of
Catholic Books, Gifts 50% Off your 1st months membership
Use code # FAITH2
and Homeschool The Vatican Top 45 films
Curriculum At Lives of the Saints
FREE Shipping! Discount Prices! Catholic Education
When You Spend $20 Or More Apologetics Speaker Series.
1-866-415-4301 • Visit Us Online At
www.sacredheartbooksandgifts.com www.piusmedia.com
Introducing EVERY Catholic teenager should take this course!
Catholicism is clearly in a crisis of sexuality education.
the ALL NEW..... Even in the best Catholic homes, in which children learn
much about the faith, they often fall into serious sexual
sin as adolescents and young adults.
Visit www.Catholic.net today and check out the new To address this crisis, Dr. Richard Wetzel, who gave
design & content promoting interaction among us the “incalculably valuable book,” Sexual Wisdom,
now offers the course he gives to his own
Catholics worldwide through information sharing teens: Sexual Wisdom for Catholic
and online interactive tools. Adolescents. Only available as a free
download from www.sexualwisdom.com.
To Advertise Send an E-mail to: Advertising@circlmedia.com
Best if taught by a parent, but may be self-taught.

Busy Moms Need

Blogs, Too!
Looking for tips on childrearing, homemaking
or just being a better wife and mother?
Click over to FaithandFamilyLIVE.com A
community of Catholic moms will welcome
you with open arms.
Even if your arms are full

FaithandFamilyLIVE.com

CALL NOW TO PLACE YOUR AD! 800-356-9916

 Point&Click ...

Learn Rosary
Making
Religious Gifts for All Occasions! www.rosaryparts.com
Especially Advent & Christmas or call 800-342-2400 for free
catalog & introductory offer
catholicsupply.com ®
6759 Chippewa St. | St. Louis, MO 63109 LEWIS
(800) 325-9026
Call for our Christmas Flyer! & C O M P A N Y

Heavenly Watches
Featured at left: $38 S&H incl. (Calif add $2)
Metal band w “any-size” slider
Large or small sizes
- OTHER STYLES & IMAGES -
- PRICES STARTING AT $30 -

Alpha Omega
19618 Castle Harbor Ct. • Apple Valley, CA 92308
760-247-1992

There IS Hope For ANY Learning Problem

LEARNING PROBLEMS HURT EVERY CHILD
STOP Your Child’s Struggling CAN SUCCEED
• Test Kits AT LEARNING
• Sensory Integration Kits
• Complete Homeschool Packages
• Effective for All Learning Struggles

Request a FREE
INFO PACK at
Essential Learning Institute Since 1989

28 All-Natural Flavors
Chocolate, Fruitcake & Fudge
Christmas Cards & Gifts
FREE CATALOG
With Hundreds of Monastery Products
MonasteryGreetings.com 800•472•0425

PA I D A D V E R T I S E M E N T S
 &FAMILY’S 2008
FAITH

Christmas Gift Guide

Fabulous
Christmas Gifts
on a Budget
Faith & Family wants you
to have your most relaxing
Advent ever — to spend
more time with family
and preparing for the
Christ Child’s coming —
not fighting the crowds
at the mall. We’ve found
40 fabulous gifts to please
everyone on your list.
In this year’s guide, you’ll find
new games, new music,
new books, new gadgets,
and lots more to love. Look no
further — this year’s
Christmas shopping list
PHOTO: SHUTTERSTOCK.

is right here!

BY LORI HADACEK CHAPLIN

*Prices subject to change.

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 91
 40 GiftsUnder $40
2008
Especially For Ladies
Clare & Francis is the latest in in- for its strong portrayal of Clare.
spiring films from the production com- Clare & Francis
pany that made Saint Rita, Pope John $24.95, from Ignatius.com
Paul II, and St. or (800) 651-1531.
John Bosco. Sig-
nificantly better Give her the gift of a beautiful
than Franco Rosary bracelet. This five-decade
Zeffirelli’s in- Rosary bracelet is handy for praying the
sipid (1972) Rosary whenever she wants. Hand-
version of the woven with fire-polished Czech beads Rosary bracelet
duo’s saintly in turquoise and ending with a sterling $34.95, from
lives, this film silver cross and a Madonna with child. CeresCollection.com
is touted for
its historical
accuracy and

For The Cook

Kransekake Cake Set makes a tra-
ditional Norwegian “wreath tree cake.”
This chewy, almond-flavored cake is
made up of 18 layers to create an 11
1/2-inch-tall cake. Set includes six non-
stick rings and Kransekake Cake recipe.
Kransekake Cake Set
$34.95, from KingArthurFlour.com
or (800) 827-6836.
Cookie-lovers will be delighted with
Martha Stewart’s Cookies (Clarkson
Potter, 2008) cookbook. Besides the
mouthwatering pictures of cookies, one
of the best aspects of this book is how it
is arranged. The first few
pages of the book in-
clude small pictures
of each of the 175
cookies (Lime Melt-
aways, Cashew such as
Caramel Cookies, Roasted
and Cream Fresh Ham
Cheese Swirl with Salsa
Blondies are Verde and
among the many) Buttered
with their corresponding page num- Crepes with Caramel and Pecans.
bers, so it is easy to spot and look up The Pleasures of Slow Food
the desired cookie recipe. Each of the $24.95 (paperback), from
recipes is then organized by textures: ChronicleBooks.com
Light and Delicate, Rich and Dense,
Chunky and Nutty, Soft and Chewy, For the health-conscious individual,
Crisp and Crunchy, etc. The book the Yolife Yogurt Maker means fresh
also gives decorating, baking, and yogurt every day. Just mix milk or
packing tips. soymilk and the active yogurt cultures,
Martha Stewart’s Cookies and let the mixture rest in the Yolife for
$16.47, from 12 hours.
Amazon.com Yolife Yogurt Maker
$34.95, from
The antithesis of fast food, “Slow Amazon.com
Food is anything that uses ingredients
carefully raised and tended and that
tastes of where it’s from. Most impor-
tant, it bears the stamp of the hands and
the kitchen that made it.” Read more of
what Corby Kummer has to say about
the Slow Food Movement in his new
book The Pleasures of Slow Food
(Chronicle Books, 2008). Kummer
includes a variety of appetizing recipes,

92 FAITH & FAMILY

 Seven Trappistine nuns of Tautra
Mariakloster, located on an island in
central Norway, make natural skin care
products to support the building of a
new monastery. Their Autra Kloster
Krem facial day cream is made from
cucumber extract, oils of avocado, ju-
niper berry, and Shea butter. The cream
is light and delicately scented.
Autra Kloster Krem facial day cream
$16.95 for 1.75 ounces, from
MonasteryGreetings.com
or (800) 472-0425.
Laura K Designs’ Small Cross
Charm Earrings from Christian jewel-
ry designer, Laura Kramer, will please
women of all ages. These elegant ster-
ling silver earrings are decorated with a
clear crystal bead and an ornate cross
dangling from a French earwire hook.
Small Cross Charm Earrings
$14.99, from Psalm23Bracelet.com
or (877) 256-0023.
This nylon Greek Zipper Bag from
Greece is perfect for the woman who
doesn’t like to lug a big purse around.
It’s just the right size for carrying a
checkbook and a few makeup items.
Greek Zipper Bag
$7.50 (8 inches by 6 inches), from
GreekFleaMarket.com or (888) MYKONOS.
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
If you haven’t seen the movie,
Bella, Tim Drake’s new book, Be-
hind Bella: The Amazing Sto-
ries of Bella and the Lives It’s
Changed, will make you want to!
The book provides the inside
scoop on the film’s conception,
its making, all about its stars, and
about how Bella has changed and
saved lives. Teens and adults will
be touched when they read about
the profound ripple effect this
movie has caused.
Behind Bella: The Amazing Stories
of Bella and the Lives It’s Changed
$17.95, from Ignatius.com
or (800) 651-1531.
The movie Bella was voted the
Top-Rated Film of 2007 by a
New York Times Readers Poll.
When Nina (Tammy Blanchard),
a waitress, is fired for being late,
she tearfully reveals to José (Ed-
uardo Verástegui), a chef at the
same restaurant, that she is unex-
pectedly pregnant. José leaves
work to comfort her, and the day
they spend together changes both
of their lives in unexpected ways.
Bella
$19.95, from Ignatius.com or rent
from PiusMedia.com
93
40 GiftsUnder $40
2008
Especially For Gentlemen
Even grizzled baseball historians and
fans will learn something from George
Vecsey’s Baseball: A History of Ameri-
ca’s Favorite Game (Modern Library,
2008). The
most interest- the oldest continuously active and in- Christmas Soap from Tautra Mari-
ing and clever habited monastery in the world; it has akloster, Norway is a glycerin soap
chapter is “Six 77 members and 180 students. scented with essential oils of cloves and
Degrees,” Chant: Music for the Soul cinnamon. The soap comes in a decora-
whereby the $17.95 (CD), from MonasteryGreetings.com tive box featuring artwork of the ruins
author deftly or (800) 472-0425. of a 13th-century Cistercian monastery
weaves the located on the Island of Tautra. Inside
thread of the box it says, “This soap is made as a
boyishly- prayer for peace.”
ebullient Christmas Soap
Hall of $7.95 for 2 1/2 ounces, from
Fame St. MonasteryGreetings.com
Louis Cardinals left fielder, Stan or (800) 472-0425
“The Man” Musial’s career into the ta-
pestry of earlier players, like classy St. Quikpod makes it easy to take pic-
Louis Browns’ first baseman, George tures without having to leave a family
Sisler, and modern players, such as the member out, or having to ask a stranger
Seattle Mariners’ unparalleled right
fielder, Ichiro Suzuki.
Baseball: A History of America’s
Favorite Game
$11.90 (paperback),
from Amazon.com

“Chant: Music for the Soul”

began with a fabulous YouTube
clip of the Cistercian monks
chanting in their monastery, Stift
Heiligenkreuz, located near Vien-
na, Austria. Universal saw the clip,
and in June the monk’s album debuted
at No. 1 on the Billboard Classical
Chart and No. 9 on the U.K. pop
chart. The monks said the recording
was a “deeply religious experience.”
It was done in the church where a relic
of the True Cross is housed. “In the
midst of the microphones and other
paraphernalia, we always kept the reli-
quary in sight, and we faced the taber-
nacle, where the Blessed Sacrament is
kept. … Thus the recordings were not
just musical productions but rather con-
tinuous prayer.” Stift Heiligenkreuz is

94 FAITH & FAMILY

to take the picture for you. The Quik-
pod is like an extension of your arm.
Just attach the camera or camcorder to
the telescoping handle, set the self-
timer; and center the picture using the
built-in viewfinder, to take natural look-
ing pictures or video.
Quikpod
$24.95, from

Visitation House, Inc.

QuikPod.com

Our Mission
Grounded in the Gospel and in the culture of life
of the Catholic Church, Visitation House is a home
that welcomes women with crisis pregnancies
in the spirit of Elizabeth, who welcomed her cousin
the Virgin Mary with awe-filled joy and true
hospitality of heart.
The Pocket Album 1.5-in. Key-
chain Digital Photo Viewer allows
you to carry around as many as 74 pic-
tures of loved ones — which can be
scrolled through or viewed with an au-
tomatic slide show. Photo Viewer Soft-
ware included with the album allows
cropping and rotating of photos before
transferring from PC or Mac to Pocket
Album. Its nine-hour Lithium-ion bat- Contact us to find out how you can help this life saving ministry.

Visitation House, Inc.

tery is rechargeable.
Keychain Digital Photo Viewer
$29.95, from DigitalFoci.com 119 Endicott Street O Worcester, MA 01610
or (888) NOW-FOCI.
www.visitationhouse.org O Tel. 508-798-0762
Eve Lindquist, Executive Director
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 95
40 GiftsUnder $40
2008
Especially For Teens
Cool Catholic Tees
from Romantic Catholic
— whose mission is to bring
the Gospel message to the
secular world by creating
tools of evangelization for
everyday living. Romantic
Catholic offers tees with im-
ages of Our Lady of Guadalupe,
St. Michael the Archangel,
Sacred Heart of Jesus, Miracu-
lous Medal and other Marian art,
plus many more — perfect for
either male or female.
Cool Catholic Tees
$14 to $24, from
RomanticCatholic.com

Especially for Art Lovers

Iconographer Christina Dochwat

designed the icons for Washington,
D.C.’s National Shrine. Now you can
own a copy of her Mother of God
Icon. The reproduction, protected by
non-glare glass, is framed with a solid
wood frame handcrafted by Nelson
Woodcraft in Steubenville, Ohio.
Mother of God Icon
$29.95 (10 inches by 13 inches), from
Ignatius.com or (800) 651-1531.

This Angel Family Mobile and
other creations by Flensted Mobiles
are made on the island of Funen in
Denmark (Hans Christian Andersen’s
birthplace). Though mobiles are a tra-
ditional craft in Denmark, the inven-
tion of the modern mobile was credited
to Christian Flensted in 1954. A Flenst-
ed Mobile (not intended for children)
is a delicate piece of artwork made out
of heavy cardboard and perfectly bal-
anced to move without tangling.
Angel Family Mobile
$25 (14 inches by 14 inches),
from GiftModerne.com
The Illuminated Lettering Kit:
Materials, Techniques, and Projects
for Decorative Calligraphy (Chroni-
cle Book, 2004) by George Thomson
includes the basics for learning about
and creating illuminated lettering.
The book demonstrates basic lettering
and how to add decoration and pattern
to the letters; there are also step-by-
step projects to make greeting cards,
boxes, and more. The kit includes
book, paper and ink, paints, brush,
and calligraphy pen.
Illuminated Lettering Kit:
Materials, Techniques, and Projects
for Decorative Calligraphy
$24.95, from
Amazon.com

96 FAITH & FAMILY

 Deepen
Your Faith
This
Advent and
Christmas
Penelope (Christina Ricci) has been daughter. Penelope, rated PG, is a
hidden from the world since her birth charming fantasy appropriate for the
25 years ago because a family curse whole family.
caused her to be born with a pig snout. Penelope
Only true love will end the curse, so $19.99, from
Penelope’s wealthy parents are trying Amazon.com
to find a blue blood to marry their

N AT I O N A L C AT H O L I C R E G I S T E R

G U I D E T O T H E R O S A R Y

with your copy of the

In The Midnight Dancers by Regina
Doman, med student and part-time
ninja Paul Fester (from Waking Rose)
intervenes when 12 girls from a strict
Christian family take a walk on the wild
side. Doman explores the possibility of
a cure for teens who are “bored with
being good.”
The Midnight Dancers
$17 (paperback), from
FairyTaleNovels.com
National Catholic Register
Guide to the Rosary.
This full-color, pocket-sized
48-page booklet features
Scripture, artwork, and
J.T. Turner and the Colonial
Radio Players give a rollicking perfor-
meditations for all
mance of eight of G.K. Chesterton’s 20 mysteries.
mysteries from his book The Father
Brown Mysteries, featuring: “The Blue
Cross,” “The Secret Garden,” “The For your Guide
Queer Feet,” “The Arrow of Heaven,”
“The Three Tools of Death,” “The Fly- to the Rosary,
ing Stars,” “The Point of a Pin,” and
“The Invisible Man.” call Vivian at
The Father Brown Mysteries
$40 (4 CDs) or $34.95 (4 tapes),
(800)356-9916 x3809
BlackstoneAudio.com or (800) 729-2665.
BULK DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 97
40 GiftsUnder $40
2008
Especially For Kids
The Chronicles of Narnia Monopoly Game (Collec-
tor’s Edition) is like the original Monopoly, but it looks
cooler. Narnia fans will enjoy the visually pleasing movie
stills from the The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and
Prince Caspian films that cover the board game. Players
buy, sell, and trade locations featured in both films, such as
Cair Paravel, the White Witch’s Castle, and Aslan’s Camp.
Recommended for ages 8 and older; 2-6 players.
Chronicles of Narnia Monopoly Game
$34.59, from
Amazon.com

Danielle Dufour, her grandmother,

and little brother fled their French vil-
lage when invaders came. After the end
of WWII, the trio returns to claim their
home only to find a town crook has
Skeleflex Skelelab allows stolen their valuable land and refuses
children (6-9 years) to build their to pay an old debt. The children’s par-
own dinosaur. The lab comes ents are still missing and Danielle won-
with the bones for building a ders if she’ll ever be reunited with her
T-Rex and a battery-operated childhood friend, Marc, to whom she
lab. By pulling or pushing a is betrothed. Danielle’s resourcefulness
lever on the lab, little and determination help put things
scientists can make their right. That Girl of Pierre’s, by Robert
creature move. Davis and illustrated by Lloyd Lozes,
Skeleflex Skelelab is recommended for ages 12 and older.
$29.99, from That Girl of Pierre’s
ToysRUs.com $11.95, from BethlehemBooks.com
or (800) 757-6831.

98 FAITH & FAMILY

 Merry Christmas! fromft|Çàáá ZtÄÉÜxx Vtà{ÉÄ|vv câuÄ|á{|Çz
817.741.1959 www.saintsgalore.com email@saintsgalore.com

CHRISTMAS CARDS THAT KEEP CHRIST IN CHRISTMAS!

CALENDARS! These cards are available blank or with a message inside.

NOTE CARDS! STATIONERY!

These lovely cards are
printed on textured paper.
There are more styles to
choose from on our Web site.
www.saintsgalore.com
Our products are proudly
printed in the U. S.A.!
8 X 10
HOLY CARDS!
Our collection of fine
PRINTS!
traditional holy cards has Great for
begun! See our Web site Feast Days!
for more of your favorite
saints! Made in the USA! © ft|Çàáá ZtÄÉÜxx Vtà{ÉÄ|vv câuÄ|á{|Çz

PLEASE HELP US A LITTLE

In honor of the Year of St. Paul, give
children Oldrich Selucky’s page-turner,
Adventures of Saint Paul. This biogra-
phy, for children ages 7-9 and vividly il-
lustrated by Zdenka Krejcova, shows
that becoming a saint can be anything
but boring.
Adventures of Saint Paul
$9.95, from Pauline.org
or (800) 876-4463.
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
The Diocese of Dumka in Jharkhand State has many
aboriginal tribes. Poverty and its consequences are
common to all of them. Here in town, we have an
English Medium school by St. Joseph. This school
has over 1,800 pupils. We need to buy land to build a
big hostel for 400 poor children. They would attend
St. Joseph School. In this way we shall be helping
many poor people for many generations. Today’s
Please help children will be parents tomorrow. They will educate
their own children without our help.
Land is very costly here. In our Diocese only land that belonged to Anglo
Indians is saleable. This law was made by the English more than a century
ago so that Aboriginals will not lose their land.
I have managed to find a plot of land that is saleable. It is not too far from
the school. The price of this plot, Registration included, is about $165,000
U.S. dollars. Please help us a little. Send your check payable to:
Fr. Joseph Zerafa, S.J., c/o Mr. John M. Sant
259 Peninsula Avenue, San Francisco, CA 94134-2424
Fr. Joseph Zerafa S.J. went to India in 1954. Now he helps the poor
children, farmers, widows and the gravely sick.
Address: Bishop’s House, Dudhani, Dumka, Jharkhand, India 814101
99
40 GiftsUnder $40
2008
Especially For Kids
When Spy Trackdown’s Spy Phone
rings, kids will feel like they’re real se-
cret agents. This new board game com-
bines technology, deductive reasoning,
memory skills, and role play. The object
of Spy Trackdown is to be the first to
locate the Mastermind hiding in one of
52 cities across six continents. The Spy
Phone tracks each of the players and
provides tips to discovering where the
Mastermind is hidden. For ages 8 and
older; 2-4 players.
Spy Trackdown
$26.99, from
ToysRUs.com

Hyper Jump gets kids moving.

Played solo or with up to eight players,
the game’s objective is to carry out the
commands that come from a speaker in
the base of the game. Players bend,
stretch, hop, and jump to push the
numbers and colors on one of the pods
connected to the base — all to lively
music. The game has varying levels of
difficulty; beginning levels ask for col-
ors and numbers; more difficult levels
include double and triple digits. For ex-
ample, the speaker calls out “423” and
the player must press the three numbers
simultaneously with two feet and a
hand. The command is repeated until
the player gets it correct; the base keeps
score and declares the winner.
Hyper Jump
$24.99, from
ToysRUs.com

100 FAITH & FAMILY

 Motherhood erhood
Motherhood
Interrupted
Interrupted
Stories of Healing and
Stories of Healing & Hope After Abortion
A
Hope After Abortion Jane Brennan, former militant feminist
and Planned Parenthood volunteer
Jane Brennan brings together 16 stories of redemption,
including her own. Read powerful
testimonies of God’s love and mercy.
Have Jane Speak at Your Parish www.motherhoodinterrupted.com

Our Junior Semester in Rome Program offers students

the opportunity to spend a semester studying in the Eternal
City, soaking up the rich culture and heritage of
the Catholic Church. Students reside just steps away from
Vatican City and are taught by our own faculty.
No more arguing about who is out!
WipeOut, an updated version of freeze
tag, has players tag one another with a
dart gun that shoots foam darts filled
with chalk dust (washes out of clothes).
Includes two dart guns, two protective
goggles, and a practice target. 8 years
old and up.
WipeOut
$38.44, from
Amazon.com

Once their passion for the fullness and unity of truth

has been awakened, young people will surely relish
the discovery that the question of what they can know
opens up the vast adventure of what they ought to do.
-Pope Benedict XVI

Experience the Heart

of the Church.

800.877.5456
www.christendom.edu
Front Royal, Virginia To Restore All Things In Christ
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 101
40 GiftsUnder $40
2008
Especially For Little Ones

Water Babies feel like a real baby.

Fill the baby with warm water with the
included funnel to give your baby
warmth and weight — just like a real
baby. Includes 13-inch doll and
water-filled teddy bear.
Water Babies
$24.99, from
ToysRUs.com

Fold-out plastic Knights Castle with

king, standing knight, and knight on horse-
back, wizard, dragon, 2 ladders, and a table.
Kids will enjoy lowering the drawbridge and
playing with the hidden staircase. Castle has
a latch closure, and all the pieces fit inside.
Recommended for 18 months and older.
Knights Castle
$32.99, from
Green Toys’ Tea Set is environmental- IntPlay.com
ly friendly, non-toxic, and made in the
USA. Made from recycled plastic milk
containers, the tea set contains no Bis-
penol-A (BPA) or lead. Set includes a tea
pot with lid, sugar bowl with lid, creamer,
4 cups, 4 saucers, and 4 teaspoons.
Green Toys’ Tea Set
$24.99, from
Amazon.com

102 FAITH & FAMILY

 Teach little ones about their super-
natural family in Meet My Family by
Father Daniel Lord. The booklet in-
cludes vintage-looking, full-color im-
ages of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, the Holy
Family, and saints like St. Thérèse and
St. Anthony — perfect to take along
to Mass.
Meet My Family
$9.95, from LittleFlowersFamilyPress.com
or (613) 278-2618.

Christmas Gift Ideas

My Advent Calendar The Road to Christmas Day An Arkful of Animal Stories

In preparation for Jesus’ birth, children will love
opening the flaps on their very own Advent
calendar and discovering an act of kindness
and virtue for each day. Filled with colorful
illustrations and festive stay-on glitter.
Includes a mailing envelope.
ISBN: 08198-0785-0 $5.95
By Jan Godfrey
The story of the first Christmas
is recounted through lyrical text
and vibrant illustrations. A fun,
faith-filled way to highlight the
Advent and Christmas seasons.
ISBN 08198-6487-0
Hardcover, 32 pp., $14.95
By John Goodwin
Ten short stories full of humor
and mischief about the animals’
life on board Noah’s ark,
showing that a little cooperation
goes a long way.
ISBN: 08198-0782-6
Hardcover, 32 pp., $13.95

auline
800-876-4463 www.pauline.org promo code: 0810FF
Christ in everyday life
40 GiftsUnder $40
2008
Especially For Little Ones

Baby can look at familiar faces while

he plays. Stack n Smile Photo Blocks
are large (4 inches by 4 inches) foam
cubes that hold family photos.
Stack n Smile Photo Blocks
$14.95, from
OneStepAhead.com

Delicious Gifts

Wolfgang Dipped Cranberries Gift Box (12 ounces)

features fresh, tart cranberries covered in dark chocolate
with a bit of syrup surrounding the berries (similar to that
found in chocolate-covered cherries). Also from Wolf-
gang is their Chocolate Buffet (24 ounces) arranged on
a reusable buffet tray. Wolfgang’s chocolates are smooth
and creamy, with a chocolate flavor that isn’t too intense.
Dipped Cranberries Gift Box $10 and
Chocolate Buffet $15, from
WolfgangCandy.com
or (800) 248-4273.

British Tea Sampler from India’s

British Tea Company is a storage chest
that includes four types of loose teas
(Earl Gray, Jasmine, Darjeeling, and
English Breakfast teas) in sachets pack-
aged in an individual pyramid-shaped
box. A short history of each tea is print-
ed on the underside of the lid.
British Tea Sampler
$24.50, from Williams-Sonoma.com
or (877) 812-6235.

104 FAITH & FAMILY

 Serving the people & parishes of the Carolinas
and the world wide web for 17 years.
A complete selection
for the Catholic shopper.
Books • Bibles • Religious Articles
Babyish Baby Onesies are the per- Art • Gift Items • Statuary
fect gift for the baby who has every-
Church Furnishings, Supplies
thing. The Rock Me, Roll Me, Rock ’n
Roll Baby! is decorated with silver stud and so much more…
lettering in silver, gold, and bronze. All
of Babyish’s onesies are made of soft,
heavy 100% cotton.
Babyish Baby Onesies
$24-$28, from Weddingish.com Toll Free Order line: 1-800-735-4566
or (866) 933-3386. Fax: 919-847-2399
Please visit us online at:
www.inhisname.com
PEOPLECARINGFORPEOPLEPEOPLECARINGFORPEOPLEPEOPLECARINGFORPEOPLECARI
®CARINGFORPEOPLECARINGFORPEOPLEPEOPLECARINGFORPLEPEOPLECARINGFORPEOPLE

Consider The
Franciscan Fulfillment
Missionary
Brothers
King
Compassionate Of Becoming
Arthur
Nursing Home
Flour’s Care
Traditional ® A Brother
Shortbread ®
Cookie Mix With roots that can be traced back to the 12th Century, the
makes the Franciscan Missionary Brothers of the Sacred Heart of Jesus
best shortbread you’ll offer candidates the opportunity to achieve religious
ever eat — friends will love this gift. fulfillment in a healthcare setting.
The mix contains only natural ingre-
dients and is simple to make; just add Located 30 minutes outside St. Louis in scenic rural Missouri,
butter, knead, shape, and bake — and the Brothers' facilities provide for people in need of special,
decorate, if you wish. compassionate care. Additional information about the
King Arthur Flour’s Brothers' work––and about becoming a brother––appears on
Traditional Shortbread Cookie Mix the website noted below.
$5.95, from KingArthurFlour.com
or (800) 827-6836. Franciscan Brothers Vocations PO Box 550 Eureka, MO 63025
www.FranciscanCaring.org

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 105

B NUS ROOM FIVE Ways
“I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people. Today in
the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord”
to Use
(Luke 2:10-11).
FIVE Minutes
Joy is one of the 12 fruits of the Spirit — “perfections that the Holy Spirit
forms in us as the first fruits of eternal glory” (Catechism of the Catholic Sprinkle joy throughout your
Church, No. 1832).
day, five minutes at a time ...
At this time of year and all year long, the joy of Christ’s birth can inspire us to
be the people God created us to be. How powerful for us to remember that,
now and forever, “The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10).
1. CRANK up the volume on your
favorite upbeat song — and dance
from room to room with your
FAITH & FAMILY FAV O R I T E S spouse.

Some of our favorite ways to share those “tidings of

comfort and joy”...
2. LIGHT a candle to remind your
family of the joy of the incarnation
of Jesus, the Light of the World.

“There’s always the ever-popular camp song

It’s a Wonderful Life.
“Just the greatest, most
joyful movie Hollywood
has ever made about
Christmas. Filmmakers are
still trying to duplicate this
message — and failing
because they take the
Judeo-Christian element
out of it.”
— Tom Wehner
…‘I’ve got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my
3. EAT your favorite food for break-
fast — even (especially) if it’s ice
cream or chocolate!
heart (Where?) … down in my heart to stay! And
I’m so happy, so very happy, I’ve got the love of
Jesus in my heart.’ Of course it’s the later verse
4. WRITE a thank-you note to a spe-
cial teacher who brings the joy of
learning to one of your children.
that gets all the kids going: ‘And if the devil
doesn’t like it he can sit on a tack (Ouch!) …’
I like to sing this when there seems no other
hope to insert a joyful mood in the family —
5. HAVE the kids haul out their
instruments (pots and lids will suf-
fice) and play/sing along to a spirit-
or myself!” (If you don’t know the song, search ed reading of Psalm 100, which
“I’ve got the joy joy joy” on YouTube.) begins: “Shout joyfully to the Lord,
— April Hoopes all you lands; worship the Lord
with cries of gladness; come
before him with joyful song.”
“When I was a kid I loved counting
down the days of Advent by opening
the numbered ‘doors’ on our family
Advent calendar (sometimes we
would get in trouble for opening the
slots too early). It brings me joy to
WELL SAID!
see the excitement of my nieces and nephews as they “Joy is a net of love by which you can
carry on the same tradition.” Try the Shepherd Advent catch souls.”
calendar (with Bible text) from LuminaGifts.com — Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta
— Robyn Lee
“Joy increases as you give it, and dimin-
ishes as you try to keep it for yourself.”
“Go to a blessing of an outdoor
— Norman Vincent Peale
Nativity scene. Our pastor intro-
PHOTO: NATIVITY, SHUTTERSTOCK.

duced it this year, and, gathered

around the Nativity scene with its
manger awaiting the Baby Jesus, we
listened to readings and sang carols
in anticipation of Christmas soon-to-
come.”
— Joseph Pronechen
“Joy delights in joy.”
— William Shakespeare
“One of the sanest, surest, and most
generous joys of life comes from being
happy over the good fortune of others.”
— Robert A. Heinlein

106 FAITH & FAMILY

 ‘HOW-TO’ TIPS
Open your home to joy —
and bring your family’s joy to the world!
Here is a bunch of ideas to help inspire joy, as holiday faith and family time is upon us.
• Commit to have an “attitude of gratitude”
that lasts beyond Thanksgiving Day.
• Unearth your kids’ favorite holiday-season
books — and gather to read one together
each evening. (Tuck them away in a box post-
Christmas for a special treat only at this time
of year.)
• Wear pink on the third Sunday of Advent,
Gaudete Sunday (Latin for “Rejoice”). Even
the boys can deal with it for a single day.
• Gather friends for some good, old-fash-
ioned Christmas caroling — in your home or
through the neighborhood. Don’t forget the
hot cocoa.
• Repeat aloud these four words: “No school
until January!”
• Learn to say “Merry Christmas” in other
languages.
• For this year’s holiday baking, let the kids
pour and stir … and be not afraid of the flour
blizzard!
• Draw names to match each family member
Words
Precious
The Quest
My granddaughter Fiona is 5.
I picked up the phone one day and
it was her. She asked, “Grandma
when can we start our painting pro-
ject?” I told her, “When I find the
time.” Always willing to assist, she
answered: “I can help you
look for it!”
PHOTO: SNOWMEN, SHUTTERSTOCK.
Stating the Obvious
It’s fun when family relationships start to dawn on kids and they realize
that their mom had a mom. I was quizzing my 3-year-old on family rela-
tives. He showed how well he had grasped the lesson by saying:
“Grandma’s my grandma!”
HOMEWORK: Share your child’s precious words. See page 6 for contact information.
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
Win! Win!
This issue’s prize is a framed painting of
Carvaggio’s Conversion of St. Paul, provided
by CatholicToTheMax.com. The gold frame is
solid wood.
with an “Advent Angel.” Throughout Advent,
the whole family will perform acts of charity
in secret to keep the joy going all season
long.
• Have a spirited family snowman-building
contest, if your climate and weather cooper-
ate. Give prizes for the biggest and the most
creative creatures.
• Spread the joy. Give homemade cards to
teachers, coaches, the mail carrier, etc. —
whoever went “above and beyond” in caring
for your family this year.
• Capture the season by taking a lot of smil-
ing pictures … and get them out of the cam-
era before next Christmas!
• Send joy-filled greeting cards to a local Congratulations to last issue’s winner,
children’s hospital. Angelina DiNorcia, Evergreen, Colo.
• Don’t overspend your Christmas budget. It
may bring fleeting joy now, but will make for Looking for a way to win? Just participate
in any of our “Homework” requests throughout
a miserable January.
the magazine, or send your name, postal, and
• Sing “Happy Birthday” to Jesus at high
email addresses to Homework —
volume — before a single gift is unwrapped.
see page 6 for contact information.
Baseball Lesson
I was playing baseball in the back yard with my 3-year-old son,
Michael. I’m the pitcher; he’s the batter. But sometimes, mom doesn’t
pitch so well. When my throw is wildly off, he says: “Mom, you’re not
keeping your eye on my bat.”
Flower Power
High Waters
I put on a pair of capris and my son, 5, My son, 4, and I were out in my garden
asked, “What kind of clothes are those?” when I pointed out a beautiful sunflower growing
I explained that they are in between in the garden. He declared that girls say “beauti-
shorts and pants, they are capris. ful” and not boys. When I asked him what boys
Hesitantly he asked, “But … are they call flowers that are beautiful he said,
your size?” “They call them … ‘handsome.’”
Tex-Mex Fairy Land
While driving in the car I hear a yell from the
back, “Can we go to Tinkerbell?” Wondering
what my 3-year-old could be talking about, I
look out the window and see a Taco Bell!
107
Point. Click.Truth.
NO OTHER WEEKLY NEWSPAPER helps you apply the mind of the Church to
the issues of the day quite like the National Catholic Register. With an unparalleled
combination of journalistic clarity, doctrinal precision and joyful fidelity to the Pope and
Magisterium, the Register equips you to evangelize and catechize at the water cooler, on
the town square and in your living room.
Each issue even offers a special section the whole family can share.
And now there’s a better way to enjoy the benefits of Register readership: the
National Catholic Register Online.
Subscribe now and you’ll get full access to all our news, features and commentary,
a searchable archive of virtually everything we’ve published over the past decade, and a
wealth of fresh and extended content available only to our online readers.
It’s all posted on our website the day we go to press. And all for only $49.95.
That’s nearly 30% less than a subscription to our print edition.
Subscribe to the Register Online and start clicking on the Truth today.

SUBSCRIBING IS EASY. JUST GO TO NCREGISTER.COM/DIGITALFF

OR C ALL 1-800-421-3230 AND MENTION SOURCE CODE 6ARD08

Alimony Payback Time
BY FATHER RICHARD GILL, LC
Question
My daughter has been divorced for
five years. She left her husband be-
cause he took up with another
woman, to whom he is now married.
He has been paying child support for
their three children regularly. The
divorce was very bitter and the
children suffered a lot. One day he
contacted her and claims that he
has inadvertently been overpaying
and demanded $25,000 to be re-
turned right away. He says he needs
it to pay his new wife’s debts. Ap-
parently she is demanding that of
him. My daughter never realized he
was paying too much and she has
spent all the money on the children
and the household. She is bare-
ly getting by as it is, working two
jobs and paying a babysitter. What
should she do?
PHOTOGRAPH BY ROSS CHAPPEL.
Answer
This sort of dilemma is a good ex-
ample of why divorce is to be cho-
sen only as an absolute last resort:
It usually opens up a whole series
of new and vexing problems for
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008
SPIRITUAL DIRECTIONS
everyone touched by it. Most of the time
alimony and child support are decided
either by mutual consent or imposed by
a judge, and rarely can it be a perfect so-
lution. Often, both sides feel they are
being done an injustice. It is difficult to
find good solutions in these messy prob-
lems. And worst of all, the children suf-
fer from confusion and a sense they have
been abandoned.
To simply reject his case for being
paid back is unfair. Even when someone
makes an honest mistake, he still has a
right to receive fairness and justice.
Keeping what is not yours against the
will of the owner is never right, so he
does have a good case for the return of
his money.
But this has to be dealt with in the
real-life situation of your family. His
new wife may be demanding that he take
care of her, but she (and he) have to be
attentive that he has prior obligations to
his original family that come first. Re-
garding the question of the money, some
compromise needs to be worked out:
Reduce the amount, make gradual pay-
ments, or both.
This case highlights the need for real
cooperation between parents when they
decide to separate. Often there is bad
blood and a lot of wounds that have not
healed. But for the emotional health of
their children and for their own spiritual
good as well, they both need to be ma-
ture enough to forgive and act civilly and
professionally toward each other. Other-
wise, they only continue to increase the
suffering of their children.
Parents in a divorce situation must ac-
cept the fact that, due to the problems
between the two of them, they have cre-
ated an unfair situation for their chil-
dren. Children should have the right to
be raised by two committed, loving par-
ents and not in a broken home. When
this is, for various reasons, impossible,
both parents have the moral obligation
to do all they can to make it as painless as
possible for the innocent children. In
this case, it means cooperating on a solu-
tion. Often in the case of divorce, a fa-
ther feels he has few rights and only
obligations.
Both parents should realize that their
children need much more than adequate
financial support. They need mature
parents who are positive, loving, and
committed to their children’s welfare
and to bringing them up in a good moral
environment.
For example, the children in these sit-
uations need to know, and to have it re-
inforced regularly, that they themselves
were not the cause of the problem.
Rather, it was a failing that had to do
only with their parents. They need to
see unity in purpose and goals between
their mother and father, including gen-
erous cooperation and flexibility. They
need to know that both parents are
equally committed to their welfare, and
that they are not a burden on one or
both. They need to hear each parent
speak well of the other and never criti-
cize or blame the other for their prob-
lems. Only in this way can the damage
from divorce be held to a minimum.
One of the great misconceptions
today is that children adjust easily to di-
vorce and learn to adapt after perhaps a
short period of upheaval. In fact, all the
best research in recent years shows just
the opposite: that the effects of divorce
on children are long-lasting, even into
adulthood and into their own marriages.
That is one reason why the Church has
always warned against accepting the re-
ality of a “divorce culture” where it is
taken lightly and given little importance.
It is unfortunately one of the most dis-
ruptive social situations we face. ✣
Legionary Father Richard Gill is director
of Our Lady of Mount Kisco Retreat and
Family Center in Mount Kisco, New York.
109
THE PLAYROOM

Clockwise from top left:

Claire Henninger, 7, Sequim, Wash.;
Isabelle Schmitz, 10, Carver, Minn.;
Claire Mack, 9, Apex, N.C.;
Erin Henninger, 13, Sequim, Wash.;
Abby Walterscheid, 6, Muenster, Texas

110 FAITH & FAMILY

 THE PLAYROOM

Donal and Liz O’Donovan

(Sean, 17, Katie, 15, Luke, 13, Joseph,
11, Michael, 9, James, 7, Mary, 5)
Parish: Prince of Peace, Flowery
Branch, Ga.
Married: 1988
Favorite Pastime: Hiking in the
mountains
Favorite Saint: The Blessed Mother
Favorite Prayer: Our Father
Favorite Part of the Magazine:
The Family Page

George and Verena Tautkus

HOMEWORK (Marjena, 1, and Augustine, 2 months)
Show off your family in coming issues! Parish: St Michael’s, Scranton, Pa.
The Faith Page: Kids can draw Bible subjects, saints, or feasts in Married: 2005
March and April (examples: St. Patrick, St. Joseph, Good Friday, Easter). Favorite Pastimes: Singing and dancing
Include Name, Age, City, and State on the back of each entry.
around the house, playing the piano
Contact information, page 6.
and the accordion, and listening
The Family Page: Share your family photo.
to Bob Dylan.
• Names of husband and wife • Favorite pastime
Favorite Saint: St. Joseph
• Ages of kids (names optional ) • Favorite saint
• Wedding year • Favorite prayer Favorite Prayer: The Rosary
• Current parish, city, and state • Favorite part of magazine Favorite Part of the Magazine: Back Porch

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 111

 The Dollar Store
THE BACK PORCH

SANTA
Christ Comes to Us Amid the Colored Plastic
BY SUSIE LLOYD
side, come July it will probably have brush in my stocking. Certainly not the
IT WAS ALL THERE IN A PLASTIC, pastel gone to pieces. Then I can toss it little by furry lavender sweater that I felt so guilt-
paradise at the discount store, my one- little into a landfill. In the meantime it ridden about returning.
stop Christmas shop. A Belle head with will rescue me from being a scrooge. But there was that flying saucer sled
accessories for hairdressing, a set of Dis- Yes, Commercialmas will descend on that I had so much fun on, sailing down
ney Princesses Mega Bloks, and a mystery the deserving Lloyd ladies coincidental- the hill with our Labrador retriever.
pet that hatches from an egg. None of it ly on Christ’s birthday. No doubt our Those pink and blue glittery angels I did
was over 10 bucks. toddler will again suffer an attack of gift thoroughly enjoy positioning around the
So what was stopping me? In a word — shock — which last year was nearly fatal. Nativity set. To this day, I still have the
yuck. Every year I gobble this stuff up She’d rip one present open and cast it imported wool sweater that screamed
and every year the kids love it. Yet every aside, then another, then another. Soon “expensive.”
year I rack my brain wondering if she was stumbling all over the Even those, however, pale before the
there is a better way. presents. When she started real tangibles of Christmas:
This year I resisted tempta- tearing open everybody Those short exciting weeks between
tion and went home else’s stuff, we put her Thanksgiving and Christmas when my
empty-handed. Then I got to bed where she sup- siblings would again return.
online to see if someone supped for the next Being all together again at midnight
out there had great ideas two days. Mass, and staying to sing all the verses of
for affordable, unique While I once “Joy to the World” in harmony.
gifts. Some of the again barter my Being surprised by a New York state
ritzier suggestions soul for a colos- snowfall on the way home from Mass
were: sus of junk, I one year in the wee hours of night. Like
• Grow a plant ponder, is this the shepherds, we seemed the only wit-
from a cutting; what the kids nesses. The snowflakes were like so many
• Buy a used VHS really want? pure drops of grace heralding the divine
of a favorite movie; My perennial coming.
• Write an IOU for post-Thanksgiv- In years following, sitting around the
services rendered. ing humbug leads Christmas tree after Mom and Pop went
So I threw the word me to think about to bed, drinking wine, swapping stories,
“Christian” into the what I loved most and feeling all grown up.
Googlemix. Up popped an about Christmases of my I’ll give my girls their plastic junk as
electronic Bible — the gimmick I youth. Not the stationery with my usual. It’ll be okay. Christmas itself will
guess is that you can buzz it instead name on it, nor the new tooth- give them what remains:
PHOTOS: SANTA, JUPITER IMAGES; SNOWMEN, SHUTTERSTOCK.

of thump it. I thumped my forehead Being home together among their

instead and plugged in “Catholic” own, and at ease.
— hoping some equally hapless The comfort of prayer, in this liturgical
mother had a blog or season when God struggles humbly to ask
something with original for our love.
ideas. Nope. The conviction that when all seems to
Only several dozen be crowds and competition, glitz and
online book and gift greed, Divine love pierces through.
shops. The JP II X- God comes to redeem our plastic par-
treme Papa T-shirts adise from itself. Yes, even in the midst of
were very cool — which is Commercialmas, he comes. ✣
why I bought them last year.
That $9.99 rainbow of plastic was Susie Lloyd makes merry in
looking better and better. On the bright Whitehall, Pennsylvania.

112 FAITH & FAMILY