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The following agreement is approved by the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency, Securities and Exchange Commission, Fair Trade Commission, Financial Industry Regulatory Authority, Commodity Futures Trading Commission, The Federal Reserve System, Office of Thrift Supervision, Federal Trade Commission, Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, Mortgage Bankers Association, American Bankers Association, National Association of Insurance Commissioners, National Association of Realtors, National Foreclosure Mill Guild, Department of Justice, US Supreme Court, US Congress, US House of Representatives, Office of the President, Office of State Attorneys General, Goldman Sachs, Bank of America, Wells Fargo, JP Morgan Chase, Citigroup, GMAC, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, AIG, Morgan Stanley, FHA Refinance Program Fund, PNC Financial Services, US Bancorp, SunTrust, Capital One, Regions Financial, Fifth Third Bancorp, MERS, Hartford Financial Services, American Express, BB&T, Bank of New York Mellon, KeyCorp, Comerica Incorporated, Blackrock, Invesco, OneWest Bank, Discover Financial Services, Ocwen Financial Corporation, Company Corporation, Litton Loan Servicing, Saxon Mortgage Services, Aurora Loan Services, East West Bancorp, Flagstar Bancorp, CNBC, National Association of Notaries, LPS, DocX, Countrywide, Harmon Law, and is subject to the following terms.

By reading this document, which may change or be withdrawn without notice, you waive any and all rights you may or may not have, past, present, and future and unequivocally agree to the following terms under pain of Death.

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Before being considered for a loan modification you, your family members (born and unborn), friends, associates, acquaintances and pets, must submit one thousand [1000] certified copies of the following: 1. The amount of any and all bank, checking, savings accounts, including account numbers and passwords. 2. Complete list and location of any assets held in physical possession. [i.e.; in cookie jars, under your mattress, etc.] 3. Birth Certificates, Passports, Social Security Cards, Complete Employment History Affidavits, IRS Forms, Credit Reports, Medical History, and political party affiliation. 4. Vehicle Identification and Registration numbers, including Proof of Insurance, of any and all vehicles and supporting Affidavit[s] describing their use, purpose, mileage, and location. 5. Certified DNA samples. 6. Certified Finger Prints. 7. Certified Retina Scan. 8. Certified Blood Sample. 9. Certified Urinalysis Examination. 10.Proof of Title Insurance payable to the undisclosed party and their agents. 11.Proof of Title Re-Insurance from Lloyds of London payable to the undisclosed party and their undisclosed agents.

Certified copies of the complete list above must be mailed to the undisclosed party and their undisclosed agents within twenty four [24] hours and must be received by the undisclosed party and their undisclosed agents within twelve [12] hours at the following address.

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tOO BiG To fAiL LOan MOdIFiCATioN FOrm r.1.A.002.B.XXXX UNDISCLOSED PARTIES AND THEIR UNDISCLOSED AGENTS P.O. Box 1776 Maiden Lane New York, NY 10005 Alternately, to better serve our customers, you may send your complete document package via fax to the number below. Attention undisclosed party and undisclosed agents. 1-800-GET-LOST In order to assure Quality Control, upon receipt of the documents listed above and in addition to any and all others that are required but not disclosed, your eligibility for a loan modification will be determined by an undisclosed party and their undisclosed agents that may or may not be a party of interest and may or may not have standing to enter into any potential agreement[s]. The undisclosed party and their undisclosed agents retain the right to commit state and federal mail fraud, wire fraud, FDCPA violations, unfair and deceptive acts and practices, conspiracy, money laundering, racketeering, tax evasion, fraud upon the court, uttering fraudulent documents, fraudulent conveyance, slander of title, financial institution fraud, securities violations, and identity theft with impunity. The undisclosed party and their undisclosed agents neither admit nor deny any involvement in any potential agreement[s] that may or may not result. Any agreement[s] made are non-binding and the undisclosed party and their undisclosed agents shall be held harmless from the beginning of time to eternity. In accordance with the strict guidelines established by the undisclosed party and their undisclosed agents, any potential loan principle correction shall be no less than the original outcome based appraisal value and shall be no more than one hundred [100] times Present Market Value with a variable and/or fixed interest rate not to exceed one hundred [100] percent.
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tOO BiG To fAiL LOan MOdIFiCATioN FOrm r.1.A.002.B.XXXX Should an agreement be reached between the undisclosed party, their undisclosed agents and the borrower, the borrower, the borrowers family members (born and unborn), friends, associates, acquaintances, and pets shall agree and consent unequivocally to the following terms.

1. The borrowers breech of any potential preliminary agreement shall be determined solely by the undisclosed party and their undisclosed agents. 2. In the event of borrowers breech of any potential preliminary agreement; the borrower, the borrowers family members (born and unborn), friends, associates, acquaintances, and pets shall waive any and all rights previously afforded them up to, including, but not limited to the SPCA, US Constitution, The Bill of Rights, and The Geneva Convention. 3. In accordance with the strict terms established by the undisclosed party and their undisclosed agents, the borrower, the borrower family members, friends, associates, acquaintances, and pets consent to unlawful search and seizure, wire-tap, harassment, kidnap, torture, trespass, ankle bracelet monitoring, random drug tests, unmanned drone surveillance, unlimited detainment, mandatory behavior modification and Pepper Spray. 4. The borrowers breech of any potential preliminary agreement shall immediately result in wage garnishment for the borrower, the borrower family members, friends, associates, acquaintances, and pets. 5. In the event of borrowers breech of any potential preliminary agreement; the borrower, the borrowers family members (born and unborn), friends, associates, acquaintances, and pets consent to a permanent barcode tattooed front forehead and both temples that shall remain visible at all times. 6. At the sole discretion of the undisclosed party and their undisclosed agents, the borrower, the borrowers family members (born and unborn), friends, associates, acquaintances, and pets consent to indefinite detention in an approved FEMA camp or Guantanamo.

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7. At the sole discretion of the undisclosed party and their undisclosed agents, should the costs associated with incarcerating the borrower, the borrowers family members (born and unborn), friends, associates, acquaintances, and pets become burdensome they consent to extermination. 8. The borrower, the borrowers family members (born and unborn), friends, associates, acquaintances, and pets consent to, and rightfully accept complete responsibility for destroying The US Constitution, The Bill of Rights, the wholesale corruption of our government, and the destruction of the World Economy.

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TERMS OF THE AGREEMENT

Due to the proprietary nature of the strict requirements dictated by the agreement between the undisclosed party and their undisclosed agents, the terms of the potential preliminary Loan agreement cannot be made available to the borrower, the borrowers family members (born and unborn), friends, associates, acquaintances, and pets. They are articulated in the attached contract found on pages [7 30,000] and will be stored somewhere at the sole discretion of the undisclosed party and their undisclosed agents. The undisclosed party and their undisclosed agents retain the right to alter, destroy, or lose the 29,993 page attachment.

________________ Deadbeat Signature

Affix undisclosed party corporate seal here (optional)

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