MESSAGE FROM MRS MARY CHRISTMAS December 2011

Dear Customers
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It is with great pleasure that we announce our readiness for tomorrow nights deliveries. The Elves have performed splendid work, especially in the manufacture and procurement of these zillions of tiresome gadgets that children are so addicted to these days: Tablets, mobile phones, Blue-, Red- and Blackberries, iPhones, uPhones, iPads, uPads, HisPads, HerPads, BeepUss, Bleepers plus a breathtaking array of computers, including desktops and laptops and tabletops. Not to mention Apps! Yes dears, we are ready to ship or sleigh I suppose a bewildering variety of Apps. I am very proud at the great care our daughter Carrol took in caring for the Reindeer, smithing and fitting their reindeer shoes and psyching them up for the global journey. Being an equestrian enthusiast, for all her trouble Carrol is getting two fine Arabian stallions and outfits to match, plus a new set of tools as motor mechanics is her other passion. Merry or Miss Moneypenny as we fondly call her, has been keeping the books meticulously and Christmas Inc show yet another fat profit this year despite adverse economic conditions. Her accounting tasks also involved a certain amount of worldwide lobbying which she has performed with distinction. Although Christmas Inc is a strictly capitalistic enterprize, we do have to function in a corporatist world.

And once again, our sensitive and artistic son Noel has come up with a devastating new set of designs for the wrapping and the sleigh and reindeer adornments. Well done Noel you know you can expect your Missibaba handbag and your red Louboutin boots tomorrow night. Mom is indeed proud. I regret that I have committed Nicholas (Father as some of you call him) to the Betty Ford Clinic at end November. Nicholas was well behaved until that month but habits are hard to break. However, I announce with great pride that we shall again avail ourselves of the services of the reliable South African sleigh pilot Happy who performed the job so well last year. Our neighboring country Sweden made heartbreaking appeals for diversity to Lapland and Christmas Inc. Bloody cheek they have since we continue to absorb their refugees that flee the deadening monotony of that benighted land. However, in the spirit of Christmas and to promote good neighborly relations between Lapland and Sweden we have acceded to their request by including in our fascinating variety of presents, a gobsmacking diversity of rifles, guns and pistols this year! Finally, I need to make an appeal to you, our valued customers. Not wishing to be a Cassandra bearing evil tidings, it is nevertheless my

duty to warn you of stormy economic times ahead. Please save every month from January and reduce debts as much as you can. Avoid stocks and bonds and do not invest in the housing market. Christmas Inc will regretably no more be trading in the Euro as from the 1st January 2012. Merry has with good reason advised us that the Euro is unstable and unworthy of our trust. We have a responsibility to our global customer base to keep Christmas Inc solvent and thriving. Finally, a word to the whiners who accuse us of leaving religion out of Christmas. We have never, ever, involved ourselves with religion and do not intend to. Christmas Inc is a secular commercial enterprize that respects the religious beliefs of all our customers without feeling the need the need to promote any of them. Neither I nor any of my family, the elves or the reindeer are devout. Our business is to make you especially our younger customers happy on the 24th ~ 25th of December.

Mary Christmas, Carrol Christmas, Merry Christmas, Noel Christmas and Nicholas Father Christmas to you!