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Anger Trigger Behaviors 42Anger Trigger Behaviors

By Mathew McKay, Ph.D., Peter D. Rogers, Ph.D. & Judith McKay, R.N. The vast majority of chains of angry behavior never proceed past the first link. For example, someone in the family will tease or insult another and then stop. Since no one reacts aggressively to the provocation, it lasts only a few seconds. Three- or four-step sequences last less than half a minute and occur even in normal families. But when aversive chains last longer than half a minute, yelling, threatening, or hitting may occur. Sequences like these are frequently observed in dysfunctional families. The longer the chain lasts, the more likely it is that violence will occur. The last link in an anger chain is often called a trigger behavior. These behaviors usually precede and precipitate a violent outburst. Triggers are often verbal or nonverbal behaviors that bring up feelings of abandonment or rejection. The following list offers a representative sample of possible links that may be used to build an aversive chain. Verbal Behaviors 1. Giving advice (Ask your boss for a raise, you know we need more 43money.) 2. Global labeling (All you 44women are alike) 3. Criticism (Thats not a good parking job, you almost hit that car.) 4. Blaming (If it werent for you, wed be on easy street right now.) 5. Abrupt limit setting (Thats it, Ive had it. Forget it. Stop this instant!) 6. Threatening (If you dont shut up right now) 7. Using expletives (Dammit! Shit!) 8. Complaining (My life is empty. All I do is work. You never help me with the laundry.) 9. Stonewalling (There is nothing to talk about.) 10. Mind reading or assuming (I know what youre really trying to do: drive me crazy.) 11. Innocent observations (I notice that the dishes havent been done for the past two days.) 12. Teasing (Those slacks must have shrunk in the wash, youre having a hard time closing that zipper.) 13. Humiliating statements (You used to look good, now Im embarrassed to be seen with you.) 14. Dismissing comments (Get out here, Im tired of looking at your ugly face.) 15. Put downs (Is this what you call a grub at the greasy spoon?) 16. Profanity (You son of a ) 17. Sarcasm (Sure youre going to fix it we had to call the plumber after you.) 18. Accusations (You went out and didnt you?) 19. Guilt (You should know better) 20. Ultimatums (This is your last chance: shape up, or Im leaving.) Nonverbal Sounds 1. Groaning (Oh no, not that again.) 2. Sighing (Im tired of this crap.) 3. Clucking sound (Do you have to bring that up right now?) 4. Tsk, tsk (Youve done it again.) Voice Quality, Tone, and Volume 1. Whining (trying to irritate) 2. Flatness (suggesting Im not here.) 3. Cold, frosty tone (suggesting Im here, but youll never be able to reach me.) 4. Throaty, constricted (suggesting controlled fury) 5. Loud, harsh quality (attempting to intimidate)

6. Mocking, contemptuous tone (trying to get your goat) 7. Mumbling under your breath (making him guess what you said) 8. Snickering (demeaning, putting down) 9. Snarling (Back off!) Gestures Using Hands and Arms 1. Pointing a finger (accusation) 2. Shaking a fist (intimidation) 3. Flipping the bird (obscenity) 4. Folded arms (You cant get to me.) 5. Waving away (dismissal) 6. Chopping motion (cutting off) Facial Expressions 1. Looking away, looking at the floor (abandonment) 2. Rolling eyes (Not that again.) 3. Narrowing eyes (threatening) 4. Eyes wide (incredulous disbelief) 5. Grimacing (I dont like that.) 6. Sneering (disparaging) 7. Frowning (disapproving) 8. Tightening lips (suppressed anger) 9. Raising an eyebrow (Watch it, buster.) 10. Scowling (annoyance) Body M ovements 1. Shaking head (No, no, no!) 2. Shrugging shoulders (I give up.) 3. Tapping a foot or a finger (annoyance) 4. Moving or leaning toward (intimidating) 5. Moving or turning away (abandonment) 6. Hands on hips (exasperation) 7. Quick movements or pacing (increased agitation) 8. Kicking or throwing objects (anger getting out of control) 9. Pushing or grabbing (angry physical contact) From the book, When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within by Mathew McKay, Ph.D., Peter D. Rogers, Ph.D., Judith McKay, R.N. Reprinted here with permission. APA Reference Mathew McKay, Ph.D., Peter D. Rogers, Ph.D. & Judith McKay, R.N.. (2011). Anger Trigger Behaviors. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 29, 2011, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/2011/anger-trigger-behaviors/

Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 26 Dec 2011 Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.