Clarity Every time Shara came back from earth, she experienced this place as she did in the

ancient days. She loved the glaciers and the hills; even the first glaciers of earth werent this pure. Everything had been so clear when she and Laris were first created. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the feel of the cool breeze blowing down from the glacier. It caressed her skin, but she wasnt chilled by it. Not yet, Laris, she pleaded with her minds voice. She felt him approaching from the hilltop behind her. She knew how worried he was for those souls and that he wanted her answer. Their help was needed there. But theyd gone so many times and the last had been such a horrible trial of will. Each visit to earth seemed harder, more threatening, more urgent than the last. What will happen this time? Its such a risk now, much greater than it ever was before. Thats why we have to go back, Laris said as he walked up behind her, they need us now, and theres not much time left, Shara. Hed been watching a lot these days, growing more concerned for the precious ones on earth. He turned her so she could see his face. Disquiet had turned his shining aura to a deep amber color. The people are more confused, theyre running, theyre afraid. But theyre running farther from the truth, not closer to it. Look at them! His voice grew more insistent. He turned her to face the lake and pointed with a radiant arm extended to the reflections they were witnessing there. Theyre in pain, Shara, a lot of pain. Every one of us is needed. We can help our friends, our family, Shara. We have to hurry. So soon, Laris? You cant mean it. You just said it: too many people are far off track now. Theres so much hatred Laris, it makes me afraid. The confusion, the panic, last time was horrible, and wed been rested then. Weve only been back a short time! Immediately the memories came. She heard the battlefields, the screams; again she felt the pain, remembered the nauseous fear; she saw the enslaved ones crying and being mercilessly tortured. She sat down in the cool grass and pulled her knees up to her chin. She looked up at the spirit shed shared so many lifetimes with, her soul mate. Laris watched the memories flow through her mind and knew how shed suffered, they both had. Wrapping her arms around her legs, she pointed toward the lake where other souls were watching too. There were so many gathered around the great glacier lake of Clarity, watching earthly lives unfold in greatness and in horror. Look at them, they sense it, too. Its grown even more chaotic since we came back. Everyones anxious, wondering whatll come of this. Laris reached down to rest his hand on Sharas shoulder, and she absorbed its warmth. He pointed to the lake; toward the people he saw shimmering on its surface. The love has grown now, too, Shara. You see that, dont you? They are struggling, but they are still reaching for Truth. He knelt down to face her and gently gripped her shoulders. There are enough believers to keep it alive, but more of us are needed to bring strength, momentum. You must know that. He watched her face, the semi-translucent face hed known for centuries. Her strong emotions had transformed her whole aura from its usual peaceful, pale rose to the quivering dark violet of

phenomenal sadness. He knew what would be next. Yes, she finally settled into a cocoon of frosted blue fear. She stared over his shoulder at the earth she saw reflected on the lakes surface. Looking off into the hills, she shuddered at the thought of the panic. Physical birth, or as Shara thought of it, forced spiritual amnesia, was the most frightening moment of the whole journey. The slate had to be erased for each new life experience. She drifted back again, vividly remembering the last time shed gone through the process. ** She screamed anguished, liquidy screams that didnt make a sound as she suffered the panic and rage of the new birth. The mother might forget her own pain, but Shara could never forget the horror and indignity of hers. The powerful tides propelled her through a canal much too narrow for her new form. Her small body slowly came undone and then reformed and remade itself for every new twist in the passageway. Worst of all, Shara felt her mind being repaved for a new life span. She knew that she was forgetting and she screamed again, her mouth forming a perfect, toothless O. She was forgetting important things, reasons, purposes. She tried to identify what they were, but they fell away like quickly melting icicles. I come from Clarity. She forced herself to slowly mime the words. Remember! She endured another twisting, agonizing bend. Ive known these souls that will be my parents. We are friends. They are good people. Laris left with me. Ill have to find Laris. Concentrating on Laris to escape her torture, she remembered his shining presence, his comfort, his strength. My name is Shara. Like a soothing, slowing drumbeat, these words repeated themselves in her mind. Clarity. Laris. Shara. Clarity. Laris. Clarity. Clarity. Clarity. Her mind quieted, the journey through the birth canal eased and she moved more quickly. Then, she knew nothing. The child was left with only a sense of being horribly disturbed from a comfortable sleep. The forceful motions deeply offended her, and she didnt know how to express her distress. Finally, solid forms were on her, holding her, moving her. Through violence, cold, pain, vibrations, and aching movements, one breath is all she needed to find her primitive voice. The new baby girl let out an infuriated wail as they cut the cord and separated her from her mothers nurturing body. But that was nothing compared to Sharas simultaneous separation from the heavens. ** Our stay was so short last time, only eighteen years, Laris pressed her when he saw her memories fade. Then for a moment he was quiet. Finally, Shara, we have to go. His next thought so frightened him that he couldnt say it aloud. He looked into her silvery eyes and sent his message to her: I cannot imagine this, Shara, but I will go without you if I have to.

They stared at each other, both stunned silent by his unspoken words. ** As she watched the lake, she felt a momentary spiraling down and into the reflection, actually looking around the fields and surrounding woods as if she were standing in that Pennsylvania field. She heard something in the background, an unfocused sound. She listened harder and felt a sickening panic, as if she was totally lost and drifting away. Her memories again took over. She had arrived as a girl, born to the Cooper family, in the town of Charleston, Virginia in 1845. Theyd named her Charlotte. Within six months, Laris joined another branch of the same Cooper family. They named him Lewis Ulysses, though his initials immediately earned him the nickname Lucky. It was nearly miraculous that theyd been born to the same family, which allowed the souls to find each other very quickly. Theyd spent lonely lifetimes before almost entirely dedicated to their search for each other. Although in the earthly realm, Charlotte and Lewis werent conscious of it, on the spiritual plane, Shara and Laris rejoiced in their fortune. As Lucky and Charlotte, the two souls grew together in human childhood, something they rarely shared. Lucky grew tall with light hair and ice blue eyes. He had an easy smile and found something to amuse him in every situation. Charlotte presented a seemingly tranquil, and noticeably pleasant face to the world. She acted reserved, even shy at times, while on the inside, she had a capacity for caring rarely witnessed. She was moved deeply by the plight of the slaves of Virginia, as was the whole Cooper family. Most people suspected the truth that the Coopers were secretly assisting runaways that came through their area. At the age of nine, Charlotte met a young girl, Hope, on her way north with two other runaways. Theyd stayed in the cellar of the Cooper house for three days and nights. On the second day, Charlotte went with her mama to take food down to them, and she was casually holding her favorite doll, Lucy, as she usually did. Hope stared at it with such wonder that Charlotte knew shed enjoy playing with it. She gave it to her, had to give it to her three times before Hope would accept it. Finally, the young runaway slave held the doll to her chest and closed her eyes. She rocked and sang to little Lucy and then smiled up at Charlotte. Charlotte grew more earnest in her beliefs. By fourteen, her fervent aim was to bring peace and integrity to her world. There were few slaves in their region; most of them were runaways fleeing the eastern parts of the state. In 1861, Lucky applauded the war that had finally come between the states. He thought the Union would whoop the rebels in short order. They all watched the Confederacy and the Union troops battle across Virginia for control of the transportation routes, the train lines, the rivers and ports. Harpers Ferry had been chaotic since the start.

After the battle of Antietam in 1862, Lucky enlisted in the Seventh West Virginia Infantry, fighting for the Union. He left his home in a serious and somber spirit, ready to face the rebels, but hoped to return quickly and live out a peaceful life. He was miles down the road when a rider caught up to him. Expecting to greet a fellow soldier, he turned to see Charlotte pulling up from a full gallop. Shed stuffed her blond hair up under a boys cap, obviously thinking to disguise herself with that and the britches she was wearing. But her hair was already spilling out of it on the side, and the clothes didnt hide her curves. Her ruddy face was bursting with energy; her eyes were almost manic in their passion. Lucky shook his head at her, I should have known. Now you shut that mouth of yours, Lucky Cooper. Im comin with you is all. Ive made up my mind and thats that. I can help out there, and if youre too blame stubborn to take my help At this, his eyebrows rose and he could only smile like a fool. She sure could be a spitfire under all that quiet smiling of hers. Shell be a handful for a husband someday. theres plenty of others that will. I know medicine, cookin, and you know I can shoot better than you can and Im older than you, too! Quit your fool grinnin and say something. He knew better than to argue with Charlotte when she got all preachy like that. But he couldnt quit that grin as he pressed his horse to continue up the road. I hope you brought something good to eat in that frilly pouch you got hanging there. ** It was almost a year of suffering long marches, tedium, skirmishes, and misery that finally led them to the town of Gettysburg in July, 1863. They stared with ancient eyes across a field near the town on that hot, drizzly day. Together, they breathed the foul, smoky air; they splashed through the same blood and mud-sodden fields; they both heard the eerie rebel yell, and felt the same finger of horror slip up their spines and grip their skulls. Battle-worn and weary, they were lost in a nightmare of artillery. The first bullets that hit Lucky turned him numb. He knew something had torn into his right arm, his stomach, his left thigh. Lying twisted in the mud, he fought for breath. He cradled his right hand in his left. The right was totally numb, yet it was still so warm. Charlotte had seen Lucky get launched off the ground in a barrage of fire-play. She ran to him. She found him lying in a muddy pool of blood, his face seemed frozen in an agonized and twisted yawn, but he was still alive. Charlotte screamed for him. She screamed inwardly, soulfully, and without sound. The anguish at seeing her beloved cousin shattered so completely built up in her with the pressure of tectonic plates. Her scream exploded to the heavens, Oh, God! What have they done to you? Shed doctored hundreds of these boys over the long months of battle. Shed witnessed horrors with a straight spine and the strength of Gabriel. But now she clutched her own sides and doubled over. Falling to the ground, her stomach convulsed twice and she vomited in pure agony and cold fear.

The tortured screams of men falling all around her did not reach Charlottes consciousness. She no longer smelled the black powder that thickened the air. Her saliva mixed with gritty bile and mud, and poured out over her chin with each racking sob. She crawled up to Luckys head and lifted it to her lap. Well run, Lucky! We dont have to do this, we dont have to be here, she tried to pull him by the shoulders even closer to her. Ill help you! Well make it out of here! Lewis Cooper! Dont leave me! The body she held was freezing cold from shock and loss of blood. Exhausted, Laris mercifully left the bullet-invaded body he had owned as Lewis. He didnt hear Charlotte, but looked down on her as he slipped from his body. He saw the girl cradling the body. Around them, an aura of ice, hazy, yet impenetrable, pulsed. He knew the body the girl was cradling had been his own. He felt a split-second transformation; it was like shooting off a speeding roller coaster at the top of a hill. He spiraled out above the stars with thousands of other spirits, all of them coming home to heaven at once. Charlotte knew the moment Lucky was gone. She felt his body lighten, as if someone helped her lift it just a fraction. Then it sank, suddenly heavy and empty. The love it kept was gone. The person it kept was gone. Charlotte panicked. She scrambled away from the Lewis-thing that suddenly wasnt Lewis. She felt completely vulnerable. The sounds of screaming slammed back into her eardrums. She heard swears and pleas for mercy, she saw men reaching toward heaven, reaching toward other men who were running, firing, swearing. She ran. She ran back toward the woods. She had to get out of the clearing and take cover. Her legs greedily ate up the field until they brought her to the border of the trees. She found cover immediately in the thick undergrowth. Ferns and thick logs shielded her. The screams faded. She twisted her body into the eroded cavity of a fallen oak, but her legs were too long for the hollow space. Panting and mumbling with suppressed terror, she frantically covered her exposed legs with bark and leaves as well as he could. She stilled her breathing. She waited. The Confederates actually reached the Union lines and they battled hand to hand. Their defiance propelled them forward through the field and into the woods. Charlotte heard them coming, but her sanctuary had become her cage. They whooped and fired as they came. They screamed courage to one another and ran blindly into the trees, stabbing at ghosts, shooting at anything that twitched. They forced death and chaos into the forest. The rider came at a gallop into the woods, blasting bullets, hollering unintelligibly. The horse jumped bushes, twisted through the underbrush, and plowed greedily into each clearing. It was about to jump a fallen tree, but even it its urgency, it sensed-smelled the human form at its base and contorted its forelegs to avoid trampling the small figure in the log.

The rider, not expecting such a bucking twist, flew through the ferns, slamming shoulder-first into the oak tree. He was shocked to see the soldier hiding there in what was left of his telltale blue uniform. He vented his anger on the coward hed found and pulled out of the tree. He blindly swung his rifle like a club and never paused long enough to even identify the human form as female. The Union army immediately surrounded the rebels, but not soon enough to save Charlottes life. Within moments of the rebel soldiers attack, Shara relinquished her earthly body and steered for home. ** Shara and Laris had each lived on earth only eighteen short years during that interval, the last of which theyd spent on hells battlefields. Yet even those brief lives had made a difference; theyd fought to the death for the lives of their brothers. When they had returned to Clarity, their ancient friends had rushed to embrace them. Their friends were so pleased during the reunion, their joy made them shine brightly. The people on earth, horrified by the bloody battle of Gettysburg, would gaze up to the heavens in search of answers. Even they could see the lights of the friends in Clarity, but they mistook them for sparkling stars. ** It was a horrible war and it still haunted her. Sitting on the hill with Laris, Shara heard again the echo of canons, the screaming horses and men; and now Laris wanted her to return to earth with him. Oh, Laris. Cant we rest? Yes, we are needed. Were always needed. Gazing at the lake, she saw the reflection of the Gettysburg fields, calm and tranquil on a sunny day. Then Laris opened his mind to show her what their sacrifices had purchased. He pressed her to watch the young America grow stronger after the Civil War. He replayed for her how that strong that country became once it was truly united. He reminded her that theyd done so much good for their brothers and sisters, their friends, their loved ones that had been trapped in bondage. All the souls that were gathered around the lake knew that their descendants needed them now just as desperately. A slight breeze cooled the afternoon and Shara turned her cheek into it. She felt a shiver run up her back. Slowly she turned her head and stared into Laris engaging face. She searched his eyes, as silver-blue as the glacier lake. His hair was still blond and his face had always struck her as that of an angel; not one of those boyish-type angels, but the impossibly strong angels that stand nine feet tall and do not flinch even for a hurricane. A half-smile gentled his face as he sat with his head propped on his hand, arm bent and resting on his knee. His fingers spread through his hair and he looked like the most comfortable, serene, and she would say, relieved person she has ever seen.

She identifies with that relief. This man is the other part of her, and she knew they could never be separated. He held out his hand to her, a silent joy softened the seriousness in his eyes, creasing the corners and raising her spirits even more.